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Podcast Episodes

The Juicebox Podcast is from the writer of the popular diabetes parenting blog Arden's Day and the award winning parenting memoir, 'Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad'. Hosted by Scott Benner, the show features intimate conversations of living and parenting with type I diabetes.

Filtering by Category: Dexcom

#546 Type 1 Firefighter

Scott Benner

Kyle is an adult firefighter living with type 1 diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon MusicGoogle Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio PublicAmazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, this is Episode 546 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's show, I'm joined by Kyle. He's an adult who's had Type One Diabetes for a handful of years. He's also a firefighter. And he is an interesting one. There are a few other things that are interesting about Kyle, but I don't want to give it all away right here. I'd like you to listen to the

Unknown Speaker 0:29
episode.

Scott Benner 0:31
Of course, I'd also like it if you remembered while you were listening, that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin, have you ever heard that episode bold with insulin? It's the 11th episode in the podcast number 11. Check it out. I've got a little space here. So I'm going to use it up. If you're a US resident who has type one or a US resident who is the caregiver of someone with type one, and you'd like to help people living with Type One Diabetes, but you don't want to get off your sofa. I've got the link for you. T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox takes you less than 10 minutes to fill out the survey. And when you do you help people living with type one diabetes, and you support the podcast. It's a win win win.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. g vo hypo Penn. Find out more at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. Since you have to have a meter you might as well get a good one. Try the Contour Next One blood glucose meter find out more about it at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox.

Kyle Kondoff 1:57
Just looking to my ptmc my phone my PDM and then I got my my glucose on my watch. So make sure Where's your blood sugar at? I can see it Oh, oh 117 A Here we go. My name is Kyle Kondoff. And I'm a type one diabetic. There's no pressure now, firefighter for going on 10 years now. And just over five years diagnosed as type one.

Scott Benner 2:22
Wow, how old are you? I'm 3232. So you became a firefighter 22 diagnosed around 27. Yes, I got that pretty well, we get that if everybody would just come on with like increments of five for all their answers. I think I would look like a genius. What made you want to be a firefighter.

Kyle Kondoff 2:43
So I was actually a pedestrian versus vehicle. I was the pedestrian whenever I was 19 years old. And the firefighters basically brought me back from the dead, kind of they did CPR and had the defibrillator on me and everything, according to my friends. And so whenever they got me back, they got me in the ambulance and flew me to the hospital and I came back after basically having to learn to walk again. And it was probably about four months later that I decided that you know, they saved my life. So I wanted to save other people's lives. I started off as a lifeguard here in San Antonio at Six Flags, Fiesta, Texas got up the supervisor and talked to the EMTs and medics that were at the waterpark and the park itself. And they talked to me about you know, being an EMT and, and firefighter and everything. So I started on that journey at that point.

Scott Benner 3:45
Wow. How old were you when you were in the accident? That was 1919. What were you doing? How'd you did? Let's just be for a second. Was it you? Or was it the car? What happened?

Kyle Kondoff 3:56
It was the cars fault. They well unfortunately, Texas is a crosswalk state. So he got to be in a crosswalk and everything. So the guy wasn't really at fault. There's problems with the police report, and he said he wasn't intoxicated. The cop said he didn't appear to be intoxicated. But the cop also said that I was wearing the wrong colored clothes from what I was at night. I don't have the clothes anymore because they cut them off at the hospital. Or they're on the scene. But at the same time. I know what I was wearing, because I pictured from that night so it kind of it screwed me in a way that you know, we couldn't sue the guy or anything like that. But turns out that my friends believed us intoxicated. So anyway, it was not a drunk driver but a drunk driver that hit me. And he he actually drove about 200 feet farther down and I guess kinda looked in his rearview mirror and saw all my friends kind of standing around me. And the first thing he did was he ran up on top of wherever we were. I was laying in the ground and everything my friends were dealing with me And the first thing he said was I swear I haven't been drinking so

Scott Benner 5:06
it's always the way to go. I just want to start by saying I don't know how that woman got my bed now honey you ever heard ever heard Dennis Rodman? Explain getting caught cheating. We Carmen electric. Yeah. Have you heard him say that? He said the the woman fell out of the ceiling. He did not know how she got into the hotel room. Yeah. I think you're out of excuses when you go to that. Pretty much. Anyway, um, what kind of injuries Did you sustain?

Kyle Kondoff 5:36
So I actually had a compound fracture my femur, my left femur, and that's where the bone breaks through the skin by it broke right in the middle of my leg. And I had two fractures in my left hip, where the the the bones were cracked and everything, and I had a surgery to put two pins in my hip. And then I have a rod going through my femur. Luckily, I was 19 at the time, and so they didn't have to pull it out. And you know, worry about me growing or anything like that I was done at that point. But I still, you know, still have pain and stuff to this day from that. But then outside an NCL and an ACL tear on my right knee. So basically, I was standing a certain way and the car clip me. And then I had various injuries to my face. And hey, and I had road rash on my hand. And then from where I hit the windshield, you can see scars and stuff, holding cracks and everything.

Scott Benner 6:33
That's terrible. And you are your professional firefighter.

Kyle Kondoff 6:38
Yes, yeah, I've been doing this for over two and a half years now career, I was volunteered before that. But I worked on an oil rig as a confined space and rescue team member and then I was an oilfield, firefighter as well. So now I work for the county area. Two jobs right now,

Scott Benner 6:57
a lot of intense jobs that you have. They're all like very physical, are you incredibly physically fit, or?

Kyle Kondoff 7:04
I'm not gonna say incredibly physically fit. But yes, it's very important to stay fit for our job. I mean, as you know, you know, firefighting is an intense job anyway. So no matter what we have to work out, we have to keep ourselves up to a certain standard.

Scott Benner 7:19
Yeah, so I have the tiniest overlap, trust me, but it's a very tiny overlap with you. But my entire life growing up, my father was a volunteer fireman. And I look back on that time and genuinely believe that 65% of it was a way for him to get out of our house. And, but the other bit was, he really was, you know, like a community oriented person, he really did want to be helping people. And there were times it's funny how it goes, right? There are stretches. When I was younger, where there were a lot of fires, and I don't just mean like, you know, somebody bush in their backyard, but buildings that were involved in, you know, required, you know, multiple counties and things like that. And now there just don't seem to be as many of those types of fires, is that building code stuff? Like why or am I making that up? Or are there?

Kyle Kondoff 8:13
No, you're not? You're not actually making that up. So what I would assume, and this is me not knowing exactly, you know, when your father was a firefighter, but you're talking up in New Jersey, New York area, correct?

Scott Benner 8:25
Yeah. And they can the 70s 80s

Kyle Kondoff 8:28
Yeah, in there. So those were called the warriors. That's actually whenever they had the most fires. That was, unfortunately, we lost a lot of guys on 911. And a lot of those guys were from that era that passed, but they took a whole lot of knowledge with them. And they had a lot of fires. I've been reading books lately about a lot of guys that were in in the 70s and 80s started taking their tests and stuff. But were with the captains and chiefs and whatnot, that that fought during those years. And that I mean that sometimes, you know, five, six fires a day, in the bad parts of you know, the cities and areas where it was rundown, and they had vagrants and stuff like that. And it had a lot to do with with New York and the New Jersey area. So it's a whole lot different fighting fire up in the northeast than what it is down here in Texas.

Scott Benner 9:19
not crazy. I just have to say that I you know, I realize you're a professional at this point, but it's amazing to watch a siren go off, and a salesman and a trash truck driver. My dad was a you know, a man who took care of machinery and a rubber molding factory and, and you know, these people would all just sort of come together and they jumped on a truck and rode to a fire and took care of it like like professionals it was and they did a lot of training. I tried when I was 16. And I did it for three years. And I had to do hundreds of hours of training. Just to you know, just to take the thing off my helmet that made everybody think I didn't know what I was doing just so they maybe give me a chance to try something, and it was an incredible thing to help other people, and it's time consuming. And I don't, I don't imagine that people who, who live around paid fire departments realize that, that a lot of the country is covered by volunteers.

Kyle Kondoff 10:15
So it's actually 70%, around about 70%. volunteer in the entire country, there's very few major metropolises that have, you know, the the professional career firefighters, we're all professionals, you know, the careers and the volunteers, guys, we all terrain, you know, exactly how we can, to the best of our ability all the time, and you might see some putting in a little more effort than others. But at the same time, you know, we all have to realize that we've got a job to do. And so it's really important. But as you were talking about the training, we have continuing education, where we're constantly training on shift, trying to do some sort of training all the time. So

Scott Benner 10:59
I just, I will never forget, I've tried to pass this ideal on to my kids, and I don't know that I've ever done it well, but the first time I was at, at a training academy, and we were going to go into a building, so this building is just this concrete shell so they can burn it over and over again, right. And, you know, we entered the building, the fire was on the second floor, we send it the stairs, we get to the top of the stairs, and I've never, and I don't think I'll ever see anything like it again, it was like being inside of a giant pizza oven. Every wall and the ceiling was covered in fire. It was just everywhere. And and, you know, and everyone's training except for and so there's there's nervousness. And so, the person lugging the hose just drops it and you hear it go down the stairs, down each step, just all the way down, you're like, Okay, you can just hear the nozzle just tumbling down the stairs. And so in that moment, the four of us that didn't know what the hell we were doing, you know, we're like, what do we do? And I think one of them said, I'll get it the rest of you stay. And so somebody hustled to it brought it back. And for you know what, I'm gonna be honest, how was probably 25 seconds. The without the water on the fire the room just it was it was just done. Just it's indescribable. What that much fire look like. And I just thought I'll never forget how, how awesome the power of it is. It just was, it was insane. Then the water headed, it just started to quell and you were like, Oh, my God. And I got out of there. And I thought, why am I doing this. But I think there's a large part. And we're gonna move on in a second. But I think there's a large part of the fact that I don't panic around diabetes, that comes out of those three or four years that I spent doing stuff like that, because I was around things that were dangerous and dead bodies and being awoken at three o'clock in the morning, and then suddenly having to do something that's sometimes physical or thought, you know, thoughtful or, you know, you're, you know, you're sound asleep, and five seconds later, you're racing down the street in this giant truck. And so I've seen some panicky things. And I know the difference between something to panic about and something not to panic about. I was wondering if you see any correlation between that and how you handle your type one?

Kyle Kondoff 13:23
Absolutely. So I think that that is something that I didn't address. For the longest time, I didn't realize exactly, you know, growing up, we're all raised differently, we're brought up in a certain way. And even I mean, I have a sister, you know, she's a little bit different than I am and the way that we were brought up, but from family to family, everything differs. And I think that's how we have to think about it with our diabetes, because for so long, I've tried to show people exactly what I do for my diabetes and how I take care of it and how I've achieved my success. And there's still there's good days and bad days everybody has. And I think there's the panicking part, though, exactly what you're talking about, you know, I can, because of the way I take care of myself, and because I'm not panicking, I can be sitting on the scene and I'm 65 and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna get a glucose tablet. And I'll address this a little bit later, you know, but right now I have to worry about this fire, I have to worry about this medical patient, whatever the case may be. And kind of the same thing with highs. If you know we're eating and I've given insulin, most of the time, I don't give insulin before I'm eating on the job. But if I've given insulin, then I'm not going to freak out. I'll pop a couple of glucose tablets and go on the call and you know, I'll deal with the low or the high later on, I'll figure it out. But no matter what, it's always an adjustment game. And I think just not freaking out is the the hard part to convey, especially to newly diagnosed I mean, it's very difficult to, you know, be in that hospital room and be at the doctor's office, whatever the case may be and just be explained all this information. You're sitting For four or five hours, and then they give you an insulin and a meter and say, okay, you do it now. And it's hard not to freak out after that. So you know, that's why we say that people are in their honeymoon phase. And, and they're, you know, as firefighters were probationary firefighters, I called the newbies that are coming in probies, because it takes some time to learn, they've got to learn from everybody else, they've got to figure it out for themselves, figure out what the carbs are going to do figure out what the protein is going to do figure out everything, and, and make adjustments, and it's going to take some time, it's not going to happen overnight.

Scott Benner 15:34
I can't, I can't agree with that any more Actually, I just think that there's, there's such a, there's such a line to be drawn between, you know, a lot of people don't have this experience. But you know, I was only ever a volunteer, and, but I lived just across the street from the firehouse that I that I worked at. And so we used this a long time ago. I'm pretty old. Now, Kyle. But we used to have these, um, these little like squawk boxes in our houses. And I don't know how they worked. But when the county you know, set off the tones that that triggered, you know, the siren back at the Firehouse that got people to come to the files, they would also set off these little boxes in our in our houses. And they would just give off this a really loud pitch squeal that was just, it was frightening if you were asleep. I mean, it would scare the hell out of you every awake, right? And so you're dead asleep, suddenly, on your feet, you don't know how you're in close, I just run across the street, I'd be in my gear and waiting as people came up. And Moments later, it's four o'clock in the morning, and you are literally driving down the street there, you know, lights going, you don't need sirens, hopefully that time of the morning. And there's this and you're listening to the radio and someone's explaining to you what's what's about to come when you get there. And you're like, Wow, I've only been awake for 10 minutes, and I'm pulling hose off a truck and that buildings on fire and all the neighbors are standing out here. And there's no time to react to how horrible all that is. It's just like something bad happened. And now I'm going to do the thing I'm supposed to do. And and you don't get to live in the part that the neighbors are living in. You know, you don't I mean, I just think that with diabetes that obviously in the beginning, right? You don't have all the tools and all the training and it's all just panicky. But once you've got it, then that's where I think you see people who have any kind of autoimmune issue actually stuff that they live with all their lives. They just the here's the bad thing. Here's what I do next. And then it ends. And that's it. And you don't have you don't have to get involved in the in the drama that that exists in there for the people who are uninitiated or, or, or don't know what to do next when they see something like that happen?

Kyle Kondoff 17:47
I don't know. Yes, for sure. For sure. No, I hear exactly what you're saying. because like you said, you know, the training and figuring it all out whether it be firefighting, whether it be dying, be diabetes, then you're training yourself, whenever you're a rookie, whenever you're going your first fire or something like that, you know, the guys turning around, and that's why it's a big deal for you. And you know, we have a special dinner, you know, he buy dinner, whatever it is, because it's a big deal for you, because it's your first fire. Well, whenever you get off that truck, or you come around the corner, and you see those flames, your eyes are open wide, and everybody's gonna be watching your back the best that they can, because they know that you don't know at all, you don't know exactly what you're doing, you have to be monitored by somebody else. And I think that's important with diabetes is right away. I mean, we have the diabetic online community, but we've also got our CDs, we've got our endos. And we've got people that we can talk to and figure it out. Whenever we're first diagnosed, I think a huge, huge thing is the diabetic online community. Because sometimes it's difficult to reach a CV, sometimes it's difficult to reach the endos. And not everybody's gonna have the answer that you want on the DLC. But at the same time, there's somebody out there, and we're all going through somewhat of the same thing. So we understand it. And that's the hard part is sometimes it's hard to realize whenever you've been in this for 50 years, five years, 10 years, whatever it is, there's somebody that just got the news yesterday, and you're trying to give them all that information, and you're getting frustrated with them. But at the same time, they're frustrated because they're going through this. So we all just need to sit back and look at it and I think empathy is huge.

Scott Benner 19:24
You have to be able to cherry pick knowledge from people to like you can't just look at somebody and idolize them and say this is the person who knows everything because this person might have very like you know, I'm I keep like flipping back and forth between this and firefighting. But I remember this one guy who just could run the scene, like he was very good at keeping everything together, putting people in places, keeping people working and getting the fire out. And I'd listened to him about that stuff. But there was also another guy that one time got caught in a room and just went through the wall into another room and you're like that no one teaches that. Like that guy's like, you don't even Like he's a different guy. And so you wouldn't ask that second guy how to run the scene, you wouldn't ask the first guy, you know, hey, if you really got stuck in a room, what would you do? Because this guy, Greg just took a pry bar and just went through a wall into a room that wasn't on fire. And I was like, that kind of stuff is, you know, everybody has a thing they're good at. And when you reach out online, there's a little more kind of like mental surgery you have to do because you have to first assess who's who, like, who knows what, and also who's been here longer. Because you can sometimes bump into people who are in the same boat you are, but for some reason to you, they seem like they're knowledgeable. You ever, ever, you know what I mean? Like, you'll bump into a, you go into a group chat, or you'll go into a Facebook page, or you see somebody talking on Instagram, and somebody comes off as having gravitas. And you kind of start listening to them. And then the longer you realize, okay, they haven't had diabetes any longer than my kid has, or that I have or whatever. And it's just very interesting. But you have to cherry pick, some people say amazing things. I watched the thread this morning, that I didn't agree with some of the things that were being said in it. And I thought, there's enough smart people in here like this is going to come to a resolution like this thread will eventually end up being its own little thought bubble that's valuable on this topic. But if you don't let the people have the conversation, then it's just one person swooping in and going, No, no, this is right, I'd rather see the conversation happened. But it can be difficult coming in from the outside to pick through all that information and come out with a good stuff. But that really is the key. Because once you can cherry pick from people, then you've got a real full understanding of what diabetes is about.

Kyle Kondoff 21:46
So I hear exactly what you're saying, I think the important thing is definitely do your research. Because it took me about a year after diagnosis to figure out exactly where I am. Now. I'm gonna say a cuss word in the diabetic community. And that's Dr. Bernstein and low carb. And that's what I follow. But you know what Dave, people that aspect of that's a customer that's that's a bad thing we don't want to listen to that is the attitude of other people. That is to to his followers attitude of very few people that just ruined it for everybody else. I'm talking about people that I've heard that whenever I started mentioning it in a Facebook group, somebody said, Oh, you don't know what you're talking about. or we don't want to hear that that's not part of this group, or, you know, I've been kicked out on Facebook groups because of stuff like that. And that's because other people have taken whenever somebody posted that it's their birthday, and here's a birthday cake, or, you know, whatever it is, they put up a picture of an amputated toe. And they just call people names, and they say you're killing your kids, and you're doing all this kinds of stuff. It's, I mean, I'm not gonna get into politics, I'm not gonna get into religion. But this is exactly what the problem is with social media is the fact that we're just criticizing something that somebody is doing. And we're not providing a solution. You just keep on name calling and everything, we learned this, this kid sticks and stones may break my bones. But words can never hurt me, well, then everybody gets hurt on social media because of the things that they say, and we get kicked out of Facebook groups. But then you give people like me, other people that are doing this a bad name. And the message doesn't get out. I mean, I don't have all the followers that some of the other people have on Instagram, and I'm fine with that. I'm not trying to be super high up there in the diabetic community. But at the same time, I want some of the information that I'm putting out there that some of the other people are putting out there that's working for us to get out. Like you said, I don't want somebody to copy me for everything. And when I first started, people were asking me, you know, what is your correction factor? What's this, I'm not going to give you my numbers, because I may have somebody that goes on there and thinks, Oh, well, that needs to be my correction factor. And that's an issue, because we're not all the same. So our bodies react differently to foods, our bodies react differently to insulin, we react differently, to all kinds of things, I mean, 42 factors that affect blood sugar, I'd argue there's a couple more, let me tell you what, whenever I drink coffee, my blood sugar spikes, I cover it with insulin, whenever I go on a fire, then my blood sugar spikes because of adrenaline, so I gotta not necessarily cover it with insulin, because after the fire, I'll start to come down a little bit. But no matter what we have to figure out what works for us. And it's going to take time overall, like I said, coming in there as a probie. You know, just on day one, you're not going to expect Now, don't get me wrong, as a firefighter, if you come in at 6am for your shift, and we have a call at 605 everybody's gonna be watching your back, and you still have to go on the fire. But that's not quite the way it isn't diabetes, we're not going to just throw you to the wolves and then say, you handle it. We're not even going to give you any advice. You know, there's people out there that you can cherry pick what that information is, but also there's people out there that are just doing bad for the diabetes. community and it's unfortunate it really is because some of the good information doesn't get out there. And some of the bad information gets spread a little bit more to people. And people realize that this is a disease, and I'm just gonna have to live with the highs and the lows and just be miserable all my life. I mean, we don't have to be miserable all the time, we can make adjustments over time. And I know you've proven that you don't have to live a low carb life, you don't have to do whatever you let art and eat whatever she wants to eat. And I know people like Matt Silvio who eats 300 to 600 grams of carbs a day, compared to my 30 grams of carbs a day. And he has an agency and daily graphs that look pretty equal to mine. So there's more than one way to skin a cat, right. And I think that we all have to realize that you have to find what's best for us.

Scott Benner 25:44
So how, I mean, I've been at this quite a while. And it's given me some context for life in general, not just around diabetes. But in social media, in general, is a very small percentage of people. Most people walking the planet are not on Facebook, at all the time like it, listen, they might have a Facebook account, but they're not living on Facebook, I could post something on Facebook right now. And I could with some reasonable assure surety write down the name of the first 10 people I think will like the post. So they're just always there. Or they have it set up so that every time somebody says something, they see it, you know, and when you get caught in a conversation about Ybarra coffee, it gets a great example, right? You drink coffee, your blood sugar goes up, someone else says I drink coffee, it doesn't touch my blood sugar. There's more people that are still don't see the causation between coffee and blood sugar at all, because it doesn't have carbs in it. Nobody ever brought it up to them. So they never pay attention to it, they might live their whole life. Just thinking, you know, my blood sugar gets high every morning around 1030 craziest thing, and never see the connection to, you know, a drink or anything like that. And so when you bring all these people together, the one thing that they lack is the knowledge about how to talk to a crowd, a crowd of people who all have varying realities. And so that's, to me, what ends up lacking in social media, because everyone gets a voice is that there's not one learned person who's kind of leading the way. And I could probably make an argument the other way that you need all these extra voices. And that's how you drag things forward. And it's true. But in the moment, like we're not trying to, I'm not trying to build a bridge 10 years from now, I'm hoping that the people who are listening can just be healthier today. And I'll come out and say I have no trouble saying, if you eat less carbs, you'll use less insulin, and you'll have less variability in your blood sugar. That's almost a short. You know, like, there's I don't know, anybody who can argue with the idea that fewer carbs in a person using insulin makes managing diabetes easier. That just is obvious. But then as soon as you say that out loud, someone hears you're telling me I can't have cake or whatever it ends up being right. And and right. And, and you are reasonable person, you're like, No, I'm not telling you I'm not having cake. I'm just telling you, Hey, this is how we this is how it works out for me. But then, like you said, some lunatic runs in and yells, you're going to lose a limb. And then there we go. And it turns out that in every faction, there's some lunatics and then they all start throwing, throwing Barb's at each other. And before you know it, the story is people online are crazy. When for a year and a half now, I've seen in the private Facebook group for this podcast, that that doesn't need to be true. I see people in there who are have all varying kinds of ideas about management, and I watch them all get along. And I don't know what that is. But I'm pleased about it. And, and that's it and there's no policing, like I don't like there's no What do I even call it monitor people who monitor the face? I don't have that. admin.

Yeah, I don't have that. When anybody, you know, sometimes people will report a post or like this person, and I'll look at an hour ago, I don't know why you lie. Is this a problem? And I just I'm like, No, like I've maybe once or twice people are trying to, you know, pimp their business or something like that. And you're you stop them. But I don't get why adults can't have adult conversations coming from varying perspectives. But it's harder than it than it should be. But I don't think it's impossible. And I like to let the fights play out. I also think that's where Facebook groups go wrong in the defense of protecting one position. They'll like, no, we're not talking about this anymore. I'm like, Yes, and you're a bunch of adults, talk about it, fight with each other. You know, it's gonna stop and normally they don't fight and if they do like I Don't get it like I don't I had a person write me recently and said, I love your podcast. I love your Facebook group, I'm going to keep listening to the podcast, but I can't be in that Facebook group anymore. And I'm like, What happened? So there was one post. That was something political. And it was right around something that was going on in the country that was just a hotbed of thought. And people like they went back and forth about a little bit and I came in, I was like, Look, guys, keep it a diabetes, or like, we're gonna have to, I'm gonna close the the post op, and I let them go for a lot longer. And finally, I just was like, Alright, that's enough. And you close it, and it just kind of drifts away on the Facebook page. But I thought to myself, like, wow, this page has been very valuable for this person for their health. And in one year, there's one conversation that gets political. And that's it for you, you're done. Like, just don't look at that. You know, like, I don't even get that and I'm not I don't understand how somebody can't just not look at something that makes them upset. I don't look at things that make me upset. Seems reasonable for me to avoid stuff like that. But anyway, I, you know, I'm with you. Like I really am I however people want to eat is how they want to eat. I've always come from the perspective of you should know how to use insulin so that however you choose to eat, you can manage your diabetes, because no one deserves to have crazy like, high or low or crashing blood sugar's just because they don't want to eat low carb or they were they do want to eat low carb, but you could eat low carb and not know how to use your insulin and still be in trouble. So you know, it's to me it's about using insulin. What but So, let's go backwards for a second. Tell me a little bit about when you were diagnosed. How old were you? 2227 27 excuse me and how did it come on? Gee vo hypo pan has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is chivo hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about. All you have to do is go to G Volk glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox. Je Vogue shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit je Vogue glucagon.com slash risk.

When your doctor handed you a blood glucose meter, did you say to them, is this a good one? Or did you just think I don't know anything about this, I just got diabetes and doctor has given me a blood glucose meter, then all of a sudden, this is your meter. Before you know it, you're buying replacement test strips. You're not even wondering if the meter is any good. You just think well, this is my meter. But they make meters. A lot of different ones. Some of them are better than others. This one a Contour. Next One blood glucose meter is really really good, Tandy. As a matter of fact, it's handy. As a matter of fact, it's easy to hold and easy to use, it has Second Chance test strips so you don't ruin a test strip if you hit some blood, but don't get enough. And it doesn't really need that much blood. Plus, it's super duper accurate. That's not a technical term, but it is super duper accurate. Once you check it out, it's possible you'll be eligible for a free meter. They have a test CHIP program. There's a lot of things to learn at Contour Next One comm forward slash juice box. But the one thing I'm here to tell you is that the Contour Next One is an accurate, easy to use easy to see at night. meter that you can use either by itself or with a connected app on your phone to keep track of your doings your goings on your tests and stuff, your data you understand. Contour Next One, forward slash juicebox. Don't just use the meter. Somebody handed you do some research. Get yourself a good one.

Kyle Kondoff 34:09
I was on the oil rig working in the confined space rescue team back in 2014. That's whenever I started the job. And during that time, unfortunately, we were also goes to Louisiana. And I mean, especially knowing what I know now, it was fried food, burgers, pizza, fried food, everything that was easy to make on an oil rig. And we had sodas and we had chips and we had candy bars and we had everything available. The one thing that I wasn't doing a lot of was drinking water, but I was drinking a lot of other stuff. So we would go down and we would work in well the construction guys would work in the hole we would be on the floating rigs with the columns and we would go down into those columns. 250 feet. Well, long story short, there wasn't a bathroom down there. We figured out alternative. And I was going to the bathroom a whole lot more than everybody else. Everybody was taking their snack bags or taking their drink bags. And it was kind of a community drink bag. And at some point, I started taking my own drink bag down. And I had a lot of drinks. And I had a lot of Gatorade, and I had a lot of soda, and I had very few waters. And I would start to run out of things to fill up whenever I'd have to go to the bathroom, because we'd be down in that hole for either four to eight hours, depending on the work day. And I didn't realize it at the time. But I was also having blurry vision that was associated with diabetes. We attributed it because everybody was kind of having headaches and stuff like that, to the welding machines to the carbon monoxide to everything else, you know, that was going on on the rig. And I was taking Nexium for

acid reflux. And the side effect of that is dry mouth. So I'm drinking a lot. So whenever you drink a lot, you have to go to the bathroom a lot. So everything was attributed to something else that was happening. Fast forward to 2016. And I had to have 36 hours of blurry vision. I was working in a hospital at the time. And I mentioned it to one of the nurses I had had blurry vision off and on. And she said you might be diabetic. I said, there's no way. So the next day I went out and my fiance at the time. Now my wife, we were planning our wedding and going to some flea markets and picking stuff up. And I said, Man, that microphone is really blurry. And my wife wears glasses. And she said, What microphone? Now? I was like, Okay, I guess my visions are right. And so later on in the day, we had Sonic and I started feeling not so good. And my vision stayed blurry. And I said, You know what, maybe we should go to the store and buy a meter. So we went to the first store and unfortunately, that's hv here locally, it was the pharmacy was already closed. They require a booth to buy from the pharmacy, not over the counter. And so I had to go to CVS, Walgreens and buy a meter there. And the first check I did in the car said 394. So I texted one of my nurse friends from work and she said, What did you eat? 30 minutes to an hour ago, we had Sonic I had this whatever. And it's funny because the lack of education for diabetes, I don't blame it on her. I blame it on the system in general. She kind of said, Well, you know, wait, another 30 minutes to an hour and check again. Because at that time at 394, obviously on diabetic or pre diabetics, something's going on, because it's not going to be over 200 realistically. And so I checked again, 30 minutes, and it was 402. So I looked at my wife and said, We got to go to the hospital. So we went to the hospital. And they looked at me and said, Oh yeah, you're type two diabetic, we'll give you know two things are fluid to iv boluses. And follow up in your PCP. Oh, here's a prescription for Metformin. 160 pounds soaking wet at 27 years old. And now I'm diagnosed with Type two diabetic. I go to my doctor, unfortunately, my doctor was on vacation. So I saw his colleague, and he said, Oh, ya know, anybody can be diagnosed type two, any age, any size, whatever, it doesn't matter. And, of course at that doctor, it wasn't an endo It was a PCP so they're looking at not Lada they're looking at type two, they're not looking at anything else. Modi, any other kind of diabetes, just diagnosing type two. So they said check your blood sugar once a day, keep on taking Metformin, I'm checking in the morning, for about three weeks, I was having high, two hundreds, low three hundreds every single time I checked, there was a couple times where I checked here and there throughout the day, but it still wasn't even improving. And I said I've got to go back to the doctor, something's wrong. And I've been looking it up and you know, maybe I'm a type one diabetic. So what does the doctor my doctor was back he took one look at me and he said cow, there's no way you type two. We'll do some tests and check and make sure that you know you're type one. And obviously, ever since then I've been on the magical. I used to say magical drug but now it's a hormone. I know it's not even a drug because everybody else's body makes it but magical hormone called insulin and diagnosed type one at that time. So it was a little bit of a rough road for those three weeks. But it was even rougher. Obviously after that trying to figure out insulin and carbs and everything else. I went to some diabetic education classes and everything was thrown at me. And like I said it was about a year later it was right at the end of 2016 whenever I started lowering my carbs automatically because I had kind of already figured out the carbs were affecting my blood sugar, so many little bit less carbs and see what's happening. So So that was off of some diabetes group, stuff like that. And I started going under 100 grams of carbs. Then I saw somebody mentioned Dr. Bernstein. And it was spring break. That year whenever I had finished up his book, and we were going on a trip to Port Aransas, my family and a couple other families, and I was eating completely different from everybody else. And I took my food and I looked at my blood sugar, we went fishing that day. And I noticed that everything was kind of staying pretty steady. And I was actually pretty happy with the progress. And at that time, I was also getting on to the 670. So the big thing about the 670 was the auto mode. And I realized that auto mode wasn't for me after four days, because it just fluctuated my blood sugar like crazy. Now looking back, if I would have done it again, I would have stayed on at least a week, maybe you know, close to a month. Obviously, my blood sugar still would have fluctuated, but it took a little bit of time for the pump to adjust. And I stayed in manual mode, but it had suspend before low. And that rarely needed to turn on for me, because I set my low alarm to 75. So I kind of adjusted here and there. But ever since I switched over to low carb from that first a one C for almost four years now I've maintained the sub five a one C, and a lot of people want to know my grass, I kind of post a lot of that on social media. And they want to know you know how many lows I have and stuff like that. And the doctor assumed right away, that it was going to be that case that I was going to have a lot of lows and everything was going to be problem. But the thing is having a normal a Wednesday in the normal range of a non diabetic is possible. As a diabetic, we just have to take care of ourselves and we have to monitor with CGM. And by checking ourselves if we don't have those CGM multiple times a day and making sure we're not going low, and we can kind of stay within the normal range. It really is possible. I mean, it doesn't, again, doesn't have to be low carb as the answer just bowled with insulin, like you said. And I mean, honestly, I've listened to your podcast now for the last six months. And I started getting more bold with insulin in my head once these get a little bit better to there. So

Scott Benner 42:12
Kyle, my work. Kyle, am I gonna send you a one c into the mid fours? Is that what's the lowest I've ever had? Scott was a 4.2. Wow, that's amazing. Well, so I'm going to ask a question, but I'm not asking him for the reasons everybody else has said have you? Do you get low? Like with what frequency Do you have like an emergency low where you have to address it?

Kyle Kondoff 42:35
Emergency low, I would consider really below 55. And I hit that up about two to three times per month. But it is not dropping dramatically. Sometimes it's even. And I mean, I'll say it extend the heck out of my sensor. But last Dexcom sensor I got 23 days on so I extended it twice. And it was because my sensor was off. So it's not always because of an actual low. Sometimes it's the censors fault. But I've got my captain following me. I've got my wife following me. I've got some friends following me from around the country. And I also have my nightscout app and anybody can follow me and I show them you know, if you're interested, you can follow me you can see it but I explained the lows and say you can see that I'm not really going low that much throughout the day. So again, it is possible.

Scott Benner 43:24
No, no I can I believe it. I'm also going to tell you I don't think as few as you have, I don't think Arden has that many. And and my point is just that is that you are balancing your insulin against your needs. Bait and your needs are what they are because of how you eat and how you live your life. And that's no different than what Arden's doing. It's exactly the same thing that her body has needs based on her intake and her you know her activity and hormones and all the other things we meet that need with insulin you meet your need with insulin you create less need by putting in fewer carbs. And there's no doubt that that can definitely make more stability. Because then you're probably I'm guessing lower basil rate has more of a chance away from food and Bolus to keep you really low and stable. I How much do you weigh now? About 175? Can you tell me what your basil is? per hour?

Kyle Kondoff 44:24
Yeah, so it's point seven, five. And then in the early morning, I do have a dog phenomenon. So I have point eight five for that.

Scott Benner 44:32
I wish I would have guessed out loud because I was right around point eight in my mind based on your weight and your diet. But if you told me that same weight, and you just a just a standard, you know, practice of you know, I don't mix of things. I would have guessed more like 1.4 1.5 maybe ish, but because you're active, maybe you would end up at 1.3 or something like that, but but it's just it's faster. You're just making The need, there's a need, you're meeting it. And you're doing a great job, obviously. What kinds of things do you eat in the course of the day? I guess there's no more potato chip bags, the Pinto no more potato chip, but it was waterbottle. So I'm sorry, sir. Okay. I was trying to think like, you can't pay it back. I mean, you could but what do you do with it? I also I have about 1000 questions about what it's like to work down in the hole all day. But, but, but But first, just what's your what's your, like your meal planning like Now, how do you eat.

Kyle Kondoff 45:29
So most of the times, I actually skipped breakfast. But I've been getting more into the gym and stuff lately. So I've been trying to add more calories, trying to put on a little bit more muscle, so I'm trying to add more protein. So I've been doing some egg cups, because I was doing omelets before and I had like an omelet mix and stuff. I'm meal prep before where it gets really hard to cook at work sometimes, because the calls and stuff, microwaves my friend. And so I just chopped up some onions, tomatoes, peppers, stuff like that, and throw in some sausage, and kind of mix it mix up some eggs, use muffin tins and make some egg cups, about six of those for breakfast, sometimes a yogurt with it. And then for lunch, I use solo bread, or different kinds of low carb bread and make some sandwiches. I mean, I can do lettuce wraps. I can do things like that. But there's capabilities. And that's the other thing too is like low carb, and keto. There's plenty. I mean, this is like unfortunate to say it was the perfect time for me to become diabetic. And start into this lifestyle. Because there's so many things that have happened in the last five to 10 years for the low carb and diabetic community. I mean, Atkins was the thing years ago, a lot of people were doing it, but you still had to figure things out. And it wasn't so many products. And then of course, sugar alcohols weren't always good for you and stuff, or they just made you go to the bathroom all the time. But then you had all these keto products come out. And some of them are good, some are bad, don't get me wrong, a lot of things, say keto. And they still spike my blood sugar. And I'm like, Hey, guys, just so you know, this is not something you should use, because this is what we're trying to avoid. But do whatever you want. And then other times, it's like, I'm just a meat and veggies kind of guy. So I'll have a steak I'll have, you know, some salad, I'll have some chicken wings. I mean, it's just finding variety in there. Most of the time, we eat about 20 to 30 same meals in our lifetime, in a period of time as humans as a low carb keto guy, I've counted and it's about 15 to 20. So I really haven't missed that much stuff in there just eliminated a lot of the carbs. And a lot of the bad cards, I haven't eliminated the good cards. I mean, I've got plenty of veggies, I do have green leafy veggies all the time. So

Scott Benner 47:49
no, I listen, I got I'm trying to think if I was in the mind, maybe like early 20s and wanted to lose weight. And we I did Atkins to lose weight. And it worked terrific. You know, I mean, like I buy limited carbs from my diet, which ends up it's funny when you think about it, like they all have names. Now, I was saying this to I recorded with Susan about how she eats, it'll come out probably in a month or so from now, which will now confuse everybody because yours will come out after that. But and Susan's, she's, you know, very low carb person. And she, she meal preps really well. Like she just does a really good job of making these these new, like interesting meals, and that are low carb and everything. And, and, and I and I said to her, I was like, you know, we, we call everybody wants to call how they eat something like they wanted to have a title or belong to a group or a club or something like that. But in the meantime, if you eat if you if you eliminate carbs from your diet in America, you're basically eliminating, like rice and pasta and potatoes and you know, and things that come in a bag or a box, which then basically eliminates fructose and sugar and stuff like that just by proxy because you're not eating those things anymore. And what you're really saying is I'm eating more natural things that aren't wheat, and potatoes and rice. And I mean, obviously there's well, way more to it than that. But I mean eating keto, but does that really mean you don't mean? Like, like, I'm low carb, but does that really just it's just you're just eating certain things. And a lot of the things you're eliminating, honestly are, I think are things nobody should be eating to begin with. I yeah, you know, so I have a basic idea about food that it should be able to, within a couple of ingredients break down into things that are obvious and identifiable. That's just sort of how I think about food. You know, I don't eat low carb, but if I make a pizza for myself, I can see that I have flour, salt water, there's a little bit of cheese, there's some tomatoes, there's some garlic, and you know, I don't know, maybe I'll put a sausage on top of it. At least those are the things like the only mean like you start looking at bags, the things that have 50 things inside of them. I think that's when Really get in trouble, not about blood sugars, but more around health in general. It's just that that just seems to make sense to me. You know, and people have said a different ways throughout time like you should be able to pronounce things your eating is one way they used to talk about it. I think it's amazing. How long have you been eating like this? This has been coming up on for years and years, is never once called, Please be honest with me never wants it, you think to yourself, I really wish I could eat. Like there's not something you miss.

Kyle Kondoff 50:31
You know, honestly, whenever I think about something that I miss, I kind of find alternative ways to make it. And that's what I was getting. Whenever I talk about products and stuff. There's low carb donuts, there's plenty of low carb cakes out there, we can make them fresh. There's box ingredients now with swerve and different types of stuff like that. They just had dunkin donuts. And Shipley the last two days at the Firehouse. And I didn't crave them at all, there's a certain amount of time to that our bodies adjust whenever we go low carb and keto that it takes time for you to get rid of the sugar craving. And most of the time, it's close to two months. But after that, you just you kind of lose the cravings. And sometimes whenever you look at certain things, almost makes you want to get sick, because you're like, oh, that doesn't even sound like it tastes good anymore. It's just it's too sweet. I'll tell

Scott Benner 51:20
you as I approach 50, I can I can say for certain that stuff like that, like cookies and cakes and things like that, I don't really I would not, I'm not interested in them with a frequency that I would have been at a younger person. And I don't even know if I was interested back then. Or if I was just kind of broke. And so I grew up in that like, eating at convenience stores on my way to work kind of vibe, you know, like that kind of thing. Nobody was really cooking or prepping meals or anything like that. And I wonder too, if people realize that as you get older, you sort of don't you're not as hungry to begin with. I don't know if that, you know, they just are like, yeah, I think I just like I really do wish I used to say this all the time. But I really do wish eating was like at the beginning of the Jetsons where they all sit down and eat that that little pill, they cut it in half and eat it, you know what I mean? And then they're okay. But there's part of me that just wishes food was like, but, you know, I just don't, I don't know that you realize that. You're not gonna, if you're eating a doughnut right now, and you're 35 like, you're not going to be eating a doughnut, when you're 55 for one reason, or the other, your liver is going to start getting fat and your doctors gonna tell you to stop or you're gonna, you know, start gaining weight, you're gonna wish i got i gotta stop. Like, it's not, it's not a sustainable way to eat forever, for certain, but at the same time, I have had some really good times eating that food in the middle here. So I don't know, like I think of it as a personal choice. I think of all this as personal choices. I just wish people had all the knowledge they needed to make the choice, because in general, we just grow up eating whatever somebody puts in front of us. And then that becomes a thing. I mean, you listen to you, you're down in the hole working, it sounds like you were eating like out of a garbage can almost right, like, and how old were you at that point? That was 2025 26 you don't get diabetes, you think you ever changed the way you eat?

Kyle Kondoff 53:15
You know, that's a hard question. Because I've actually thought about it plenty of times you're mentioning, you know, whenever we were eating that stuff, there's actually a picture whenever I was volunteering, of the guys taking a picture of me whenever we came back from Sam's Club, I was staying at the Firehouse of time, I had lost my grandpa a couple months before. And so I was kind of living at the Firehouse and I picked up one of the Sam's Club thing of donuts, I picked up two loaves of bread. I picked up a cheese ball and a cake and a couple other things. I think only one thing in there was not major carbs, I might have had lunch meat in there, you know for the sandwiches. But no matter what it was just like, this is what I used to eat. And I'd share that video, that photo on social media and stuff during National Diabetes Awareness Month talk about you know, so my whole lifestyle, but it honestly diabetes made me healthier. And it's weird to say that but in a way I think even eating higher carb or anything like that. It makes us more conscious of our life, love our choices and everything. Because before that I was just going through life. And whenever I was in college, I was kind of doing the same thing you were doing. I mean, I'd pick up subway and hey, they had the, the three for five or three for $15 whatever was on Sundays and now like every Sunday I'd be going to subway pick those up. And I'd be eating ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese and you know, we'd have all kinds of things that was the poor foods, I guess, you know, people kind of call them but it was more convenient as we were in college and doing things and even now, my sister in law lives with us and she's 19 my wife talked about it the other day, but she's kind of just eating out convenience eating potato chips, not so much eating meals. It's kind of the way that we did things. I mean something People focus a little more on some of the other extracurricular activities during college and are drinking a little bit more than what they're eating. But still, it wasn't a priority. And we kind of figured that out later in life. And so diabetes just made me healthier in a different way. But you know, it's interesting, something I'm starting to add people don't look at sorry. It's something that people don't look at is some of the positives of diabetes.

Scott Benner 55:24
Right? Well, I'm certainly making no judgments, because I'm not the pillar of health. But I think it's pretty obvious that your body is a machine, and you're feeding it right. And if you don't have anything like type one, then basically you're putting stuff into your machine, some of it's great for your body processes it fine and some of it, it can't, and it does its best to not let you kill it, you know what I mean? Like, that's all your body's doing is it's trying to stay alive as long as it can. And you some decisions you make as the person who put stuff inside of that body, those decisions are great, and some of them aren't. And some of them you don't even realize aren't like little things like different, like processed oils that you really shouldn't be taking in that you're that you take in in food and don't realize how much you're doing. It's you put that in there, it bogs your body down, your body's trying its hardest not to shut off. So it's it's dealing with dealing with it dealing with it, it's the theory eating your body more quickly than it then your body should be deteriorating. And when you get type one diabetes, now all of a sudden, it just becomes more obvious, because there's this one process that your body used to do to try to stop you from dying, that it can't do anymore. And now you're doing it. So you become very hyper aware of it the impact that food has on on your blood sugar. It's just it's the amount of people who end up saying that they think they're healthier because they have type one than they were before. Never, never fails to not shock me but but it never fails to happen is people are like, Oh, you know, now that I'm aware of what's happening, you know, and what I take that as is now that my body's not covering for my, my decisions. And I and I know what they are more frequently. That's it like and don't get me wrong, like I you know, I don't particularly love cereal as a good example. Things that you hear people say a lot like, Oh, I want to learn how to Bolus for cereal. I know how to Bolus Arden for cereal. I've worn a CGM and eaten cereal. And to be honest, my blood sugar didn't go up that far. But that's not the measure of health that my blood sugar didn't go up. That's just the measure of how well my pancreas works. So I hadn't had cereal in a very long time. And I was wearing a CGM around Christmas and I ate it for people. I was like, Alright, here, I'll eat a bunch of cereal. And when I got done, there was a little left in the box. And then the broke part of me like the kid that grew up broke was like, You can't throw that away. Because you paid for it. Which is ridiculous. Because the best thing I could have done for myself was throw it you know, but I was like, oh, it didn't make my blood sugar drop that much. I'll eat it. And I started clearing the things out of the house that I bought to show people while I was eating on a CGM. And I gained like four pounds getting rid of all that stuff like so that people could see my CGM for 10 days in December, I gained like eight pounds. And that's that's no joke. So and don't get me wrong. Like every day, I was like, here, I'm gonna eat a bowl of cereal, which was something that I don't do. And then I was like, Alright, let me get a bag of candy and potato chips and show you what a bag of candy and potato chips do at the same time. The part you didn't hear is that at the end of it, I was like, Oh, I feel terrible. Like I yeah, I felt hard. You know,

Kyle Kondoff 58:31
I actually saw you doing that. It seemed like some people were trying to live vicariously

Scott Benner 58:36
through you like, Hey, you did? There were a number of type ones that were like, can you please eat this for me? Right? Like I ordered a pizza because somebody online asked me to so and, and no lie, the first two slices of pizza my body dealt with. And I was okay. But when I gave it the third slice that my blood sugar got pushed up. And it stayed there for hours after that now, you know, pushed up it was I think in the 160s if I'm remembering correctly, but still higher than my body wanted it to be. Because I could feel it like I got a little tired. I didn't feel so great. You know, like my, you know, my visit to the bathroom. The next day was not as exciting as it could have been. You know, like my body was just not, like ready for all that cheese and the flour and I got a little heartburn from the sauce because I'm old, you know. So there was a lot of interesting things that happen. And don't you think though, that, that that's part of it is when you're being diagnosed, and someone says, here are the things you can't eat anymore. It feels like somebody's stealing something from you, like forget all the actual health benefits for a second, I feel like somebody is taking something from you. So when you're like I think I could figure this out with insulin. I always sort of hope that the people transition this way that they feel like something's being taken from them. They figure out how they can stop that from happening. And to me I think of that as using insulin well but then I Least hope that there's a third act where they go. Alright, well, now that I know how to Bolus for cereal, I'm still not going to eat it as much because I do see the impact it has, and it can't be good for me. I mean, there are just some foods that I mean, it's clear from me watching Arden's blood sugar that your body does not want inside of it. You know, like, that just seems obvious to me. But I don't know. Anyway.

Kyle Kondoff 1:00:22
Yeah, you're exactly what you're saying. Because I think that's all a mindset to is having the knowledge, whether it be a CGM, whether it be poking your finger and everything. But obviously, CGM is much more beneficial because you see it every five minutes, some people don't have that luxury. And that's what's frustrating is the fact that, you know, the, the technology is out there, it's not accessible for everybody. But the knowledge for all that technology is, is not completely out there for the rest of the world for the insurance companies for people like that, because it would be beneficial for like you did for non diabetics to wear this. And I see spouses and other kids and stuff like that on social media, whenever the diabetics or their loved ones, put them on the non diabetics, and they see what it does. Your trial is not the first one. But it's just it's kind of interesting to see the correlation between that. And at the same time, we're thinking about, well, yes, it's genetics. Yes, it's some other stuff. But type two diabetes is further down the road. And we don't want to keep on killing our insulin, making ourselves more insulin resistant over time, and get that type two. So like you said, there's things that our body doesn't want us to eat, that stuff could possibly lead to that in the future. And that's where it comes into play that, you know, whenever non diabetics say, Well, I can't eat that. I mean, yes, you can. Is it going to hurt you in the long run? Nobody knows. We can't tell you. It's kind of unfortunately, it's like what's going on in the country right now? We don't know long term effects of Corona with people. And so it's a wait and see kind of game for these people. And I mean, I don't know, you don't

Scott Benner 1:02:02
want to wake up 15 years from now be growing a horn out of the middle of your forehead is pretty much the point do you don't want something that's not supposed to happen to you to happen to you? Look, I'll be completely honest with you. I haven't been to a fast food restaurant. Since whenever the first time it was that I heard that one of them used some form of silicone in their french fries to keep them something. And I was like, wait, what's that now? And you don't like and I don't remember. I think the company then came out and said, Oh, it's not silicone. It's this. And then when you hear them equivocating about it, you're like, well, I don't think I care if it's actually silicone or derivative of something. How about I don't want to eat that. Like, I won't use nonstick spray on a pan. Like, I just I look at it. I'm like, What is in there? Like, why would I like you know what I mean? Like, it's weird, you'd spray it on a pan would just spray it right in your mouth. No interesting. It's like when you deep fry something, and you start with and don't get me wrong, I just made potato chips recently. They were amazing. But um, you start with five cups of peanut oil. And when you're done, there's three cups of peanut oil in the pan. That means that two cups of the peanut oil is now in the potato chips. So I mean, some of that burned off, but you eat a handful potato chips, you're also eating the oil that it was cooked in. Or you know, and I don't know, there's just something about that. I didn't grow up that way. And it's been a learning process for me. And I don't always win the fight. But I try very hard not to eat something it comes out of a package that's not bagged or boxed or frozen. I just if I'm going to eat something that's not good for me, I'd rather just be ice cream. When I can look at the label and go that's milk and sugar and chocolate. At least it's bad for me and I know what I'm eating it because you don't know what's going to happen later. And I would especially think this sticks in the back of my head sometimes too is you know, there's autoimmune in my family. My daughter has type one. She has hypothyroidism. My wife has hypothyroidism. By the time this comes out, I think I'll be comfortable saying my son was just diagnosed with hashimotos. He's 21 years old and the picture of health. I mean, he is he's a college athlete. And suddenly, recently, he just broke out in hives out of nowhere. And it took a little bit of investigation to find out that he has hashimotos so now he's been on medication for that for I just think that when your body's already, like looking at you going, I wonder what I could get next. Probably don't eat silicone, I guess is my point. I don't know I just try to put yourself on the right side of the fight at the very least give yourself a shot. You know, having said that, I really believe that if you have type one diabetes, any way you want to eat is up to you. I just hope you really understand how to use your insulin because I don't want to see you have that struggle on top of everything else. How do we do today? What do you think?

Kyle Kondoff 1:04:57
I think we did get I think we get by Other good topics.

Scott Benner 1:05:01
I thought we had a nice conversation I really did. I appreciate you doing this, I appreciate you being interested in, in coming on. And if there's anything I missed, now's the time.

Kyle Kondoff 1:05:14
You know, the one thing that I put on social media and it's funny is I tried to be positive about stuff. And lately, it's been a struggle for people to be positive and a lot of things going on. But I kind of mentioned that earlier, look at the positives of diabetes, look at the positive of life. But I always end with this. There's no such thing as a perfect diabetic, I always put up graphs I put on my a onesies, there's good days and bad days. I mean, I'm up there in the two hundreds, maybe three times during that three months, but I'm still down there, low. And there's difficult days, there's good days and bad days for all of us. But there's no such thing as a perfect diabetic. So just don't let anybody judge you on anything that you're doing. And don't focus so much on what everybody else is doing. The only thing we can do is try to beat the person that we were the day before. Well, I agree. And

Scott Benner 1:06:05
I try to remember as well to do the same thing like look, here's the rise Arden had are actually at some point, we've been transitioning Arden onto a birth control pill to try to manage her her periods were coming like really crazy, like she would bleed for like 11 days and then get a five day break and then it would start again. Like it was just insane and it would just keep going on and on it was kid was killing her it was like she was it was like she was just like she was a vampires like buffet line or something like that. It just she couldn't rebound, there was no time to rebound inside. So we tried birth control, the first two months weren't enough of a strength, it was harder for her blood sugar. This is we're in the middle of a third month now with a stronger pill, it's starting to regulate itself. But her blood sugars over the last three months have been incredibly difficult to manage. And so in my world, that means she's going to be more like a six than a five and a half. And that we that she spent more time over 140 than normal, and that there was a lot more insulin used. But it was a fight. And I just always when I'm in the middle of that fight. And I'm trying to imagine how one day I'll talk about on the podcast. I just want people to remember that that stuff like that happens to everyone. But when you come at it with the regular amount of insulin that you always use in every other situation, whether that's because you're leaving a honeymoon or you're having a hormone thing or a growth spurt or whatever, you're gonna lose. If I didn't aggressively go after these last three months. Arden's a once he easily would have been eight and a half. If I would have tried to use the amount of insulin I was using prior to these three months for her. There's no way or a once he wouldn't be a half, but I'll keep it under six. But it's it's with a lot of being flexible and adjusting and things like that. So I hope people remember that.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue glucagon, find out more about chivo hypo Penn at GE Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, you spell that GVOKEGL Uc ag o n.com. forward slash juicebox. I'd also like to thank Kyle for coming on the show and doing such an amazing job. And while we're at it, and we're thanking folks, thanks to the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for being super duper accurate, supporting the show and making just good stuff. Check it out at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox.

I do not know how the 1980s radio guys like modulated their voice all the time and talk like this, it seems really difficult. Anyway, thanks so much for listening. And I really appreciate that you appreciate the show that you're listening to it, that you're downloading it that you're subscribing or following in your podcast app that you're telling friends, generally speaking, I really appreciate you. I'll be back soon with another episode of the Juicebox Podcast.


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#545 After Dark: Eating Disorder

Scott Benner

ADULT TOPIC WARNING. Today's guest is an adult type 1 who will discuss an eating disorder.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Amazon AlexaGoogle Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT


DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 545 of the Juicebox Podcast.

My guest today is Aryssah. She was diagnosed at age 19 while away at University, where she also developed what she calls a very specific type of eating disorder. Today, she's going to tell your story, which includes all the details. And that's why this is an after dark episode. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

If you believe that you have an eating disorder, please tell your physician, a loved one friend, or go right to Google, and just search for diabetes eating disorder, you'll see a ton of different places where you can get help.

There are many other afterdark episodes within the Juicebox Podcast at the end of this episode, I will list them for you and tell you where you can find them.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. It is also sponsored today by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod promise, which I'll tell you more about later in the show. To get started with Omni pod where to find out if you're eligible for the free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash, head over to Omni pod.com forward slash juice box.

Aryssah 2:00
My name is Aryssah. I'm 31. And I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes at 19 1912

Scott Benner 2:07
years ago.

Aryssah 2:10
Yes. My diabetic anniversary is coming up on June 26. And it happened to be the same day that Michael Jackson died. And I remember talking to friends and family and saying oh, you know, I was I was diagnosed with diabetes. And they're like, Yeah, but you know, Pipe down. Michael Jackson just died. Well, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Scott Benner 2:28
Really, this is the thing it lightheartedly, but yeah, that's kind of how it came across. But you're a little older too, right? So it's not like you're like you were eight and somebody is telling you look, we'll deal with your thing tomorrow. Okay, well, but Billie Jean, is that so?

Aryssah 2:45
Right, I guess. And truly Scott. I mean, that's part of what makes it challenging is you're very right that I was diagnosed at 19, where I'm not necessarily a kid anymore. However, if I had been diagnosed, say three months prior, when I was still 18, I would have gotten much more support than what I experienced. And it's strictly because I was deemed as an adult by the government, if that makes sense.

Scott Benner 3:09
So were you not on your parent's insurance at that point.

Aryssah 3:13
So being Canadian, had nothing to do with insurance Truly, I have fairly decent health care, which I'm very thankful to have and to live where I live, it was more so I guess the support that I received, I very much felt when I left my diabetes education center, there very well could have been a therapist lined up for me there very well could have been a specialized dietician to cook with me, or maybe even an endocrinologist that didn't make me feel like I was just a number. And I think when you're a child and you're diagnosed, your family probably gets more involved. You're much more close, closely examined, and I felt that I kind of got the short end of the stick. Don't get me wrong, there's no good time to be diagnosed with diabetes. But to be 19, where you just missed that CUSP. It took me a longer time to take care of myself and I through therapy and through work that I've done internally to see hey, you know, I just I wasn't set up for success, as most people would have been if they were diagnosed prior to 18. So a couple of questions.

Scott Benner 4:14
Was it just that? Did your family treat you that way? Like, oh, she's an adult, she can handle it?

Aryssah 4:19
Kind of Yeah. And I'm an only child Scott, too. So I feel like my family always puts me on this pedestal of, you know, hey, Marissa has it, she's good. And I think they didn't really seem to understand and nothing against them. They're very supportive, and I love my family, but they knew something was wrong with my body. But I wish they knew that there was something wrong in my mind as well from the diagnosis and from the support. I wasn't getting medically

Scott Benner 4:45
prior to type one. Did you feel like that in your mind, are you It came directly from the diabetes?

Aryssah 4:50
No, it came directly from the diabetes part of my diagnosis. I mean, it was very fit and sporty and prior to being diagnosed, I took very good care. To my body, and it was pretty healthy. And when all of a sudden you start losing weight, you're thinking, Oh, hey, maybe the gym is working. Hey, maybe, you know, those, those extra bootcamp classes that I'm participating in, are paying dividends now. Yeah. And you don't realize that, hey, there's something much, much deeper going on here that that needs to be taken care of.

Scott Benner 5:19
I wonder how much of it is, like expectations, you know, people talk about what age would be better to be diagnosed that and I've even kind of mused that, you know, Arden was so young. She doesn't have a recollection of not having diabetes, which I imagine is helpful to her, or at least to us talking to her. I wonder how At what age? Is it just like, well, life's been going on for a while now. Like you were 19. So you're probably thinking, but you're gonna start your beaver trapping business soon on your own and really start doing things.

Aryssah 5:50
Yeah, my own ugly building business? Well, yeah, no, you're you're, you're very right. You're very right. When you're, when you're at that age, I mean, I can remember a time where I didn't have to worry about pricking my finger, or didn't have to worry about, hey, how many carbs are in this meal? Right was art and or anyone else, I think the younger you are truly, the almost better you are because you don't realize that there's life outside of that.

Scott Benner 6:11
So you're old enough to be able to, you're old enough to go to a concert when you're 25. And remember going to a concert when you were 18. And you have this juxtaposition of what one was like and what was the other and what the other is like, but you're not alive long enough to really gain that kind of life experience perspective that would have helped you through any of this.

Aryssah 6:32
Mm hmm. And I think to your right, the life experience would maybe have set me up differently where, say at 31 now, and I mean, who knows, right? I know what this is 12 years later, at 31. Now, if I was diagnosed now, I think that perhaps I would be more mature about my decisions in terms of how I took care of myself. But when you're that young, and you're surrounded, but you're not even living at home, right, I was 19, I was away University, you're surrounded by your friends, and you're surrounded by you know, the pressures of being in school, you're not necessarily around a supportive environment already, you're already in an environment where you feel judged, or maybe you feel like you can't be your full self or you feel uncomfortable, because everyone's looking at you through a magnifying glass. If that makes sense. No,

Scott Benner 7:20
even and your peers are, are in the same situation age wise and perspective wise. So it's probably just like, Oh, isn't that sad? She has that thing. And they'll sit around with you for a little bit in your bed and like, you know, and then they leave. And that's not real support. It's just, it's a 19 year old hanging out with you for a while because they feel bad about what happened to you. Right? Not like not not a person who in supports an interesting thing, isn't it? That it's it's sort of this quiet understanding that someone's there, it's not so much saying something, or doing something, it's that it's that idea that there's a rock solid person at your disposal? Should you need them. Like, I feel like that's more what support is. Because when you really think about life, like nobody really runs around doing things for other people. You don't mean like, it's more just like, you know, there's somebody there, that's, you know, it's more than got your back they, they actually could come through, if something happened. It's

Aryssah 8:17
right. And I think if I'm reflecting accurately at the time to Scott, I don't even I think I liked that no one really understood it. Because at the time in University, where I wasn't necessarily taking care of myself the way that I should have, I didn't want people to know what I was doing in terms of how I wasn't taking care of myself. So for example, if I went out to eat, I maybe wouldn't inject or wouldn't check my blood sugar, I would just eat because I didn't get the support that I needed when I left that Diabetes Education Center and turned into truly an eating disorder. However, if people around me had known that would have made me obviously fix a problem a little bit sooner would make me feel more self conscious, I probably would have been more active and trying to make myself get healthy. But at the time, I liked that people around me Didn't know other than, hey, she has type one diabetes, they didn't really know what that meant.

Scott Benner 9:10
So path Oh, you had a path of least resistance because no one could hold you to account because nobody knew what though. Nobody knew how to hold you to account. That's excellent. And excellent. It's, it's interesting. I'm sorry. And you did you want to do better and didn't have tools? Or were you truly trying to ignore it?

Aryssah 9:32
I think it went back and forth. Scott, I think every night I would kind of think to myself, Hey, you know what, this, this can't go on any longer. I you want to be healthy? Why aren't you Why aren't you able to do this? But I think in the moment I again would just do things that we're very self harming. Where I mean, my hospital fault folder is larger than I care to admit, where I would have doctors come in and make me feel judged in a way to Scott and I think that's something really Important where instead if a doctor came in and I felt included or I felt that they heard me, I could have maybe had this feeling to turn turn things around sooner. But again, being 19, late University meal support, probably uncomfortable with your body a little bit at that time to where I feel most diabetics might feel this where Hey, okay, you've, you've lost all this, this weight, I probably lost about 20 pounds. And by no mean was i was i overweight or anything I was quite skinny. But you remember how thin you felt? And you have people tell you, hey, you look great. Like what's going on, they don't realize that, you know, underneath, you were very not healthy. Although it comes across like you've been, you know, working out or eating better. So I think when you get those compliments, too, it messes with your own head a little bit to say, Oh, well, Hey, remember everyone complimented you at that time saying how great you looked? Right. But that was when you were the most sick you've ever been?

Scott Benner 10:53
Yeah, it's it's I can see the double edged sword where it's not like you had math teeth. It's not. And they were, and they were going, Oh my God, your teeth are amazing. Like it was, you know, like, that doesn't happen, right? Because that was not something that people physically find appealing, generally, but you start getting a little more sculpted, or you know, your jaws a little more angular, whatever it ends up being, or people can just tell you look a little differently. That brings in compliments, even though even though the compliment they don't realize is Oh, you're wasting away and dying. You look amazing. So in the beginning of dying, we all apparently look great for a little bit like mine, you know, like, I don't know, like, that's an odd thing to think. But it is, is and then I see how it causes that problem for you. Because it's this mixed message. And you are the only one that knows the truth. While they're all saying it.

Aryssah 11:44
Exactly. And I mean I true therapy and things now in my 30s Of course, I talk to my friends or my family or my partner about it now too. But I can't imagine Scott Looking back, I can't understand how I was able to go that long of not taking care of myself of injecting sure but a minimal amount and not checking my blood sugar and thinking to myself, hey, well, you know, you're going to be able to throw up later, anything that you would have eaten that was high and high in carbs. So don't worry about it, not realizing that, hey, when you throw up, that's actually your body's way of telling you. You're you're going to diabetic ketoacidosis. Wow.

Scott Benner 12:21
So that was an that ended up being the process for you. You'd so what would you do? Were you you're injecting so you would would you do? Like a long acting insulin?

Aryssah 12:30
Yeah, exactly. So I would use I would use my long acting, I was on Levin Mir at the time. And I wouldn't necessarily inject them rapid my fast acting and I would eat whatever possible. It's sick to me to think now Hey, I used to keep a pop bottle of sprite by my bed to make myself go higher. But also keep in mind too, when you're when you're that high up all the time, and you're thirsty all the time you get more thirsty. So I think it really created this kind of vicious cycle where you crave sugar, because your highest highest highest can viewer you're not even reading, you know the number anymore on your glucometer. But you would continuously crave that more. So I think now what I've realized being healthy for the past couple of years that, hey, if you're healthy, you crave being healthy. And if you're unhealthy, you crave being unhealthier. And it's very hard to get out of that cycle.

Scott Benner 13:23
I was wondering if I could ask you to kind of step out of this for a second and give me your opinion about talking about it. Because when I first started the podcast, people would come at me kind of privately and say you can't talk to people about how you manage type one diabetes, that's not something that anyone should do. Don't tell people that you're that your daughter's doing. Well, it makes other people feel badly. And I had a very strong feeling that you could be a beacon instead, like you could just say, look, look what's possible. You don't I mean, like, here's, here's the thing that's possible, and that people can't truly understand the scope of things until they can see the entirety of it the good, the bad, you know, the dark, the light, and then they have to be able to make a decision. Are you going to reach everybody and bring everybody to a place where they're a once he's in the mid fives and they're paying attention to their blood sugar's like No. Are some people gonna see a great graph and think and that make them feel poorly? Like maybe I don't know, but it just always seemed to me in the way I put it usually on the podcast is that you can't take a classroom with 20 people in it and teach to the to the least of the of the group, because you're you're robbing the rest of them from an opportunity to learn. But with this, like you just said something a minute ago, no one's ever said on the show before and we're going to get deeper into it. You said you kept scraped by your bed to make your blood sugar higher on purpose. So what do you think about explaining how this eating disorder works? Do you Do you worry that it'll, it'll be a how to for people?

Aryssah 15:04
Oh, not necessarily. And I would caution that, hey, if people consider it as a how to I'm also going to explain part two of the How to, which is it can get better. Okay. And you're very much right, Scott that sometimes I felt people would necessarily brag about their agency, but would kind of, Hey, you know, I'm it's 5.4. And you know, it's never been that low and it's in my own head, I'd be like, that's great, but I'm pretty sure minus 14 at this time. Now, thankfully, you know, it's much more normal range of seven and I serve, I swear, Scott, when that first happened, when I got those results, I could have cried, I just never thought to myself that I'd be able to see that. But now thankfully, to have those tools of adex common and Omni pod to set me up for that success. I didn't have either of those when I was first diagnosed. And you're very right, where, you know, I couldn't get some flack for this. And, and I, I understand why people would be upset or kind of look at it in a bit of a controversial way. But if anything, this needs to be more talked about this was this was an eating disorder and truly a bit of a mental mind game that I had put myself through because I didn't have that support. When you're 19, you're considered an adult, where if I had been diagnosed, as we talked about a couple months prior, I would have been taken to that Children's Hospital here in Toronto and had numerous resources thrown at me. But because I didn't, this is what could happen. So in terms of my goal, I want to be involved in some of these committees and boards that change those rules or those decisions. So that way, I can help those young adults post 18 to not experience what I did. Yeah,

Scott Benner 16:35
no, I think Listen, it be clear, from my perspective, I think what you're doing is really great. And it's brave. And I'm I'm I'm 100% behind it, which is why you're here. It don't thank you. It's just that when you, you know, it's funny, you were in the exact wrong position for a number of reasons that we've already gone over and you got dropped into diabetes almost like dropped into a race at a point where the race was already going. And you were not prepared to run it. And you were destined to lose the race when you were put into it. Right and and there are other people who have been put in that same situation who are in that dire place right now. And some of them are listening. And it just for me, I think that it's it's got to be better to face what this is. So that at least you can make an informed decision. Like if if a person is in right now listening in that situation, and they're still listening to me, that means they want to know, they want to know how to get out of their situation, if the if there's a possible path away from it, it if it just takes them makes them angry, and they run off to be mad about it somewhere to complain about it or something like that. That to me just means that they're in the wrong part of their race to hear the information. Not that the information is bad. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Aryssah 17:55
No, definitely. No, you're very right. And I think it's, it's amazing how your body can get used to things the body is a is incredible, where previously, if my blood sugar rised, I would just again, as we talked about crave more sugar, where if my blood sugar is high, now even the slightest I'm down for the count, but it's because I take care of myself. So whatever the body gets used to, if I'm consistently 2122, with my with my, like glucometer, which in Canada is obviously a little bit different than than the US so I apologize, but it still means high. It would, it wouldn't affect me. Now if I reach any levels that are out of you know, a consistent range, I feel so sick, and feel so lethargic in the same way I did when I was first diagnosed. But I don't know how I had a normal life and ran high all the time and still go to work and see my friends. And it. I'm assuming there are other people, I can't be the only one. I know I can't be the only one. But I also don't want those people to ever feel like they're alone. I really struggled. And I know you likely are too but talk to someone about it. Whether it be a parent, a friend, a counselor, it's not your fault. You were not set up for success, but it's not your fault.

Scott Benner 19:09
So we're gonna figure that out in a second. But very quickly Juicebox podcast.com. There's an A one C and blood glucose calculator if you're listening outside of the US and the numbers don't make sense to you. Look at me. Look at me, look how I'm able to do a good thing and drive traffic to my website. I feel really good about that. Also, by the way, I don't know if it's a conversation technique that you've picked up over the years. But after I speak you tell me I'm right. And I have to tell you, I love it. And my brain goes She didn't say you're right this time. I wonder she doesn't agree with that. I'm just kidding. I seriously, is that a conversation technique? Or is that? Do you actually mean it when you're saying it? I know I do agree.

Aryssah 19:54
I do agree with you, Scott. And sorry. I realized I just did it again there. No, no, no, don't be

Scott Benner 20:00
Don't be sorry, I feel a foot and a half taller since you and I have been talking. I'm about to charge down to the rest of my family when this is over and be like, I'm right. I'm just teasing. No, there's an affirmation thing in there that conversationally is great, it makes me want to keep talking. And I don't I've just been paying a lot of attention to people who hold great conversations lately. And that was, that was just that was really I was like, are she doing that on purpose? She learned that in the college and Canada's, are they teaching that up north or something? So okay, you just said it's not your fault, and that you weren't given the right tools. But why? It's obviously something psychological, but what I want to understand from you, if you took me outside right now and said, Scott, cut down this tree, you have to, it's very important that you do it, you've been tasked with it, you can't walk away from this task, the tree has to be cut down. Here's a screwdriver and a blender. I think I can't cut this tree down with a screwdriver and a blender. But I would never internalize that. I wouldn't stand there and think I'm such a, I'm such a mess. I can't get this tree cut down. The guy told me it was really important lives are at stake. Like, why does that happen? with medical stuff? Why does somebody asked you to cut down a tree with a screwdriver and a blender. And somehow that turns into I mess this up?

Aryssah 21:29
Right? And it can turn into you're very on point where it can be it's heavy on your self worth. And it's heavy on how you see yourself. However, I think that because if we're using this analogy, because you're telling me to cut down this tree, I also had people coming to me and saying, hey, that tree is beautiful. Hey, that tree seems really fit that tree seems really healthy. Why would you cut that down? Because that's essentially what everyone was telling me when I was skinny. Right? So internally, yes, I knew I was doing something wrong. I knew exactly what I was doing. But other people because they don't understand what's going on. We're still complimenting me. And we're still cheering Hey, you know, you look great. You know, that's all that cycling you'd be doing is really paying off. Yeah. And so it was very conflicting. Yes. Where I value myself to be a good person I value myself would always try to do the right thing. And with this, I know that I didn't. So it was a very hard struggle for me and again, through therapy to be able to talk about it and realize that but also see, as you were saying earlier, you know, it's not necessarily my fault that was dropped into that race halfway through without, without, you know, running shoes, if you want to phrase it that way.

Scott Benner 22:40
Is there an aspect of this, that it's because it's health related, that it strikes? Like, you're kind of psyche at the same time? Like, what? Do you see what I'm saying? Like, why? Why is it? Why is it that you and I'm not asking you understand what I'm saying? Like not you in any way? Why is it that somebody wouldn't just go Whoa, stop. You asked me to cut down the tree. He told me it was really important. You didn't give me any of the tools for this isn't my fault. Like why do why do people end up feeling internally bad? Is it because there's another piece, it's got to be that they know subconsciously or even consciously that they're, that they're limiting their health or shortening their life? Like there is that third wheel like third spoken this wheel that that's the reason why it internalizes but just in general, outside of this issue. It's fascinating to see how quickly people turn on themselves. Mm. Do you know what I mean? Like the like, look at all the things you were doing that were bad for you that I'm assuming you consciously knew weren't right. Okay, but yet you couldn't stop yourself.

Aryssah 23:51
Yeah. And I again, I would pray at night just saying, hey, tomorrow, eat healthy and take all your insulin, where any other diabetic would never have to consider to do that. But I think you're angry as well, that's probably a big part of you're frustrated. You have this invisible disease that people again, keep saying, Oh, you look great, where they don't understand how internally shameful, and how internally, this, this environment of solitude comes up as well, where no one really understands what you're going through, and I get it with diabetics. Overall. We all probably feel that at some point that Hey, no one understands what I'm going through. But specifically because I was hurting myself through the process. I really didn't have anyone who understood what I was going through. I do value the community now where I can talk to people about this, I can share this and maybe necessarily they haven't gone through the exact same experience, but maybe they felt that day were some time in their journey. They're like yeah, you know what I had, I had one day to where I didn't even bother injecting because I just felt so down on myself and I felt so frustrated. And you know to scarf from, you know, managing artists, there are some days you can do everything right? You do everything right. And still it all goes wrong. But I think on my instance, specifically to guys or girls, however, however anyone identifies by their gender, they have different experiences, too. So I've had guys who are gym goers say, Oh, you're so lucky, you get to take insulin and bulks you up, I've heard whereas girls would never want to be bulked up, you know, we're scrutinized for our bodies. So there's those different elements to it to have, hey, as a woman who's 19, who was feeling you know, you're you're going on dates, and you're, you know, going to bars for the first time because legal drinking age in Canada here is 19. Yeah, you fit you're in a different space where you are consistently being evaluated. I was also on a varsity sports team at the time to where, again, the the thinner you are, the more in shape you are, the more congratulated you are, the more you get to participate in races because you're, you're that caliber of athlete. So just lots of things that we're we're not positive.

Scott Benner 26:05
Did you say a minute ago that you felt ashamed of the diabetes or of your care of it?

Right now, in this moment, I can picture myself in the doctor's office with my daughter, as she was getting her first Dexcom CGM. I remember what we did on the way home and what we talked about and where we stopped for lunch. Remember the whole day? What I remember most is a feeling of relief. Because I just spent so many years not knowing what Arden's blood sugar was doing. I was just overwhelmed with the idea that now I would know, right? I would know what our blood sugar was. And if it was moving, or trying to go up or down, you know, and how fast was it doing that, it just all seemed surreal. In that moment, I didn't understand what was going to happen next. How seeing Arden's blood sugar in real time would inform my understanding of how to feed her and give her insulin. Well, now, today, you know, I'm a completely different person, due in large part to the data that comes back from ardens Dexcom g six. And I also think that it would be worth your time to find out more about it dexcom.com, forward slash juicebox. When you get there, you can do some reading, find out about any number of aspects of the Dexcom, I'll name a couple, you can share your data with up to 10 followers, you can see your data on your iPhone or an Android that's for the user and for the followers. I mean, there's alarms that you can set to tell you when you're leaving different ranges, how fast you're moving, these alarms can tell you so many things. Just it's astonishing. It's amazing. It's it is well worth your time, just to go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox and see if anything I'm saying to you resonates, it really may change your life. I'm going to stick with this theme and tell you about the first day that I saw on Omnipod. We were at my daughter's Children's Hospital at a pod at a pump fair, I bought a pod now but at a pump fair. And there it was the Omni pod, the only tubeless insulin pump in the room. So while I'm holding it and telling my wife Look how great this is, it's self contained. I bet you if they make improvements to it, they'll just happen like we won't even have to like, go back and get the next version. I didn't know what I was talking about back then. But I just kept thinking that the Omni pod looked thoughtful. It looks futuristic. It felt like it was on the cutting edge. So we went with it. And that was 13 years ago, ardent has been wearing it on the pod every day since then. It's been an absolute friend in her life with Type One Diabetes. And I think it may be for you as well. At least it could be and that's worth you finding out on the pod right now is offering the Omni pod promise. Simply put, if you're the kind of person who's waiting around for the next thing, the next thing that's coming you don't want to start now I don't want to get a dash because you know what about the next thing I want to get the next thing? Well, there's no need to wait for the next big thing because with the Omni pod promise you can upgrade to Omni pods latest technologies for no additional cost as soon as they're available to you and covered by your insurance terms and conditions apply. But you can find out more at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box and while you're there. Why don't you find out if you're eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash. That's right. You could get started with the Omni pod today. Free for the first 30 days and then something new comes up. They promise you can switch

links for Omnipod Dexcom. And all the sponsors can be found at Juicebox podcast.com. Or right there in the show notes of your podcast player. Did you say a minute ago that you felt ashamed of the diabetes or of your care of it?

Aryssah 30:28
Both? Oh, both. I definitely felt that I was ashamed to even go low. In public as well. That was a that was a big part of it. Where if I was with my friends, and all of a sudden got so sweaty, and would be reaching for a package use that it was really, it. Yeah, it was very embarrassing. And it was also scary. So I think part of it also, too, could be I just wanted the exact opposite of whatever was low, I want to feel the exact opposite of that. And if I'm high all the time, I'm I know that I'm never gonna have to feel that way.

Scott Benner 31:03
So out of control that people can see worse than out of control people can't see. And you're talking about passing comments a second ago, and this one interests me a lot. So if somebody came by and said, Oh, you're so lucky, I heard insaan, bookshop, right? That sticks to you, then that does that put you in like a Do you fall down a rabbit hole in your mind on that?

Aryssah 31:30
I wouldn't even say a rabbit hole per se. But I, I would acknowledge that what they were saying was accurate. Because we've all had that right where we are diagnosed, we've lost weight. And as soon as we start taking care of ourselves again, and getting on getting on care with insulin, you do gain back the weight that you lost, right. So I think I saw it and recognize it. And again, I'm not saying that I lost 100 pounds, or we're talking 20 pounds, perhaps Scott, this is not monumental. But when you're going through this instance, it felt monumental. Yeah. And many diabetics, I'm sure feel, hey, I'm not in control, I haven't been thrust into a situation where I don't want to be, I don't feel any control over my own body, or even probably my own mind, where, for me, the way that I coped with it was being in control of being constantly high all the time. Because it gave me that someone's of Hey, like, I, I'm in power of this,

Scott Benner 32:24
but there's no, there's no function inside of you that hears the comment about insulin and just wipes it away, and just goes, Oh, no, I don't want that. And, and you never think about it again, like so that's the I realized that. Listen, I realize that things have been said to me that I brush off that I probably hold on to subconsciously. I'm not saying that. That doesn't happen. That's I'm not like some like iron will, like, you know what I mean? But, but I wouldn't spend the rest of the day changing my life over it in a conscious way. And I'm interested when something can be said to somebody that changes their course, instead of them just going no, and then pushing on.

Aryssah 33:04
I think there can be comments to those Scott on the other end of it, where I had people telling me, hey, every time that you don't take care of yourself, and the longer you don't take care of yourself, that's 15 years off of your life expectancy. So it's funny how you mentioned that, that, you know, those comments can really stick to you. But certain comments can also be that okay, well, whatever, I'll deal with it when I'm when I'm 60.

Scott Benner 33:29
I had somebody yesterday, tell me the prospect of losing my leg to an amputation, felt comical, like it couldn't happen, right. But when someone told me I might lose my toe, it felt real to me. And I was like, I couldn't. I mean, I understand what they're saying. And I don't doubt that it could be true. I just was like, Wait, what? And then I guess it's the same thing as saying to somebody when they're 15. Like, if you eat well, you'll be healthy throughout your life. Yeah. And you're like, you can't imagine what that means. But you,

Aryssah 34:05
you feel unstoppable, right? It's a future risk problem. It's not a current or risk problem, right?

Scott Benner 34:10
But it's not Yeah, but if somebody told you like, eat a Dorito today, in three days from now, you're going to spontaneously combust. You'd be like, Oh, well, then I won't eat. Yeah, yeah, I got it. Okay. All right. Um, and the last thing I want to say, because you were you're bringing stuff up while you're talking is that I spoke to someone the other day, a parent of a newly diagnosed very young child under two years old. And we were just talking about amounts of insulin that the baby would need. And I said, looking at your graph, listening to your story, I feel like there's room in here for a little more basil. And right away it went to Is that too much? There's something about I keep harping on it because there's something about the measurement of numbers that messes with people aren't I using too much insulin, isn't that bad? Aren't I using some, you know, isn't this happy? Isn't this number to this or not enough that like people really key in on measurements and movement on a scale? Right? Like if because if this person's kid was diagnosed at four, and not 15 months, then they would have started out with basil that was greater to begin with. And then if I would have said to them, oh, I think you need to use four and a half units of basil today, they'd be like, Oh, that's okay. Because it's an incremental jump. But telling somebody, they have to go from two and a half to four seems huge. And I don't know, there's something about I don't know if I'm ever gonna figure it out. But there's something about how people think it's the movement of a measurement. And it has something to do with where you start and where you finish. It's not the numbers, how far the number moves, and it sticks people. I don't know what that means. But I've heard it enough times. Now. I believe in it.

Aryssah 36:04
I think my my partner says it in a right way, where we have to be so conscious, even more so than someone who is anorexic, I understand that I had a form of bulimia going through what I did in university. However, it's it's worse we what are their disease? Do you have to consider what you eat, the number of carbs and the grams of fiber so closely? And again, it's all those numbers, and it's that analysis of anything you're putting into your body. Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:34
The irony is we everyone should be doing it. You know,

Aryssah 36:39
maybe it's maybe healthier. I'm very thankful that I'm diabetic. I like adversity. I like to be the underdog. I use that, you know, kind of resilience as fuel. And I think if I wasn't diabetic, I wouldn't be who I am today. 100%.

Scott Benner 36:52
So what did you do? What steps did you take to get the universe to pick you up and put you in the proper place in the race.

Aryssah 36:59
Uh, I think I had to go through my own my own rock bottom, if you want to phrase it that way. I was in the hospital. And I had been in the hospital numerous times, as we talked about earlier, I at one point was tied to the bed restrained because I was in a diabetic coma and in thought to be even tied down to the bed. I don't remember any of this. And I remember waking up with a tube down my throat and my grandma kissing my forehead. That wasn't even the lowest point, Scott. I was in the hospital for about two months total. And that's where I said, Hey, I'm going to make a change after that got out and ordered a Dexcom. After that, you know, made sure I got an omni pod. I think hitting that rock rock bottom was really where it was a wake up call, where I didn't want to feel that way. ever again. I'd make them make myself feel good somewhat in the way of Hey, okay, I look good outside. But hitting that point it was I don't want to ever do this ever again.

Scott Benner 37:54
That that two month stint? How long ago?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
How long ago was that? That was 2017. Oh, that's not that long ago? No. 2017? almost almost four years, four years.

Scott Benner 38:11
Wow. So how many years did you live like that?

Aryssah 38:14
I would say so I was diagnosed in 19 2017, I would have been 27. So about eight years, from 2009 to 2017.

Scott Benner 38:24
And so your management style was

Aryssah 38:27
management style was I would inject long acting, and I would eat whatever I wanted. I would then start throwing up and this wouldn't be everyday would maybe be once a week I would start throwing up. And because I didn't want to go to the hospital again. Once I started throwing up, that's when I would inject short acting insulin and then continue that cycle. Every week

Scott Benner 38:47
that vomiting was decay, or you force not forcing yourself to vomit.

Aryssah 38:52
I never forced myself I don't think I have the I wouldn't have the gousto to or the hutzpah to but um, I it was strictly from DK and I know that because there were some times where it was just so far gone that I would have to go to the hospital. And they would tell me obviously what was going on which I already knew.

Scott Benner 39:09
I met a little girl in Oklahoma that that was her management style was DK hospital DK hospital just over and over again. For not understanding how to Matt they didn't they just the family just didn't understand the use of the insulin. Right. I remember feeling so heartbroken when she told me that what was the colloquialism you use before hutzpah. gousto What is that? I don't know that one like like hutzpah. Is that a Is that like a weird Canadian? It must be it must be. I'm sorry to do this in the middle of an important conversation but do you notice about that but he or

Unknown Speaker 39:51
she? You sto I can use it in a sentence again if you like Oh

Scott Benner 39:59
good. I want you to go ahead,

Aryssah 40:02
I had the gousto to write my wrongs and start Take care, taking care of my body in a way that I knew was correct for myself at the time for my future self, for even my loved ones as well.

Scott Benner 40:18
Individual or specific taste, how to use gousto. In a sense, I don't know, this might be a thing that happened in your house that, like, when I met my wife, I learned that her father, you know, this thing. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Aryssah 40:38
I must be an American thing I'm unfamiliar. Like

Scott Benner 40:40
he would say it completely wrong. And I would watch everybody. And I'm like, none of them realize this is wrong. And he's been saying it like this for so long. They believe that this is the saying, and it is not. But anyway, that's not my point. gousto. Okay. I'm sorry. Like, I absolutely shouldn't have gone down this road. But we need a break anyway, your story is pretty deep. It's. So you're in that hospital for two, two months, you make the decision, I'm going to do something dying to know, is there a person in your life at that point that you're interested in? romantically?

Aryssah 41:16
Yes, I was actually married at the time. How long were you married? I was married from 2017 to 2020. And he was very supportive throughout throughout the process. But through the breakup, certain things were said that obviously stung me very much in relation to this. So very thankful I had him at the time do I feel that now I have a partner that maybe doesn't necessarily is not diabetic, but understands more, so what I go through, because we're maybe more communicative about it 100% I'm very thankful for where I'm at now, romantically cool.

Scott Benner 41:55
Listen, I don't, I don't need to know about your personal life, I brought it up. Because because I find that one of the triggers for adults to pull themselves together, is having another person in their life that they care about. There's this, I've seen this, this thread over and over again, where for some reason, you can't work up the energy or the whatever to care about yourself. But to be there for someone else, or to see that someone else cares about you can kick it into gear,

Aryssah 42:28
I can see that in a way I did always feel his support truly for, for going down that road. I think I was even preparing myself to be a mother. And I knew to be an an oven or a solid oven, so to speak, right? I didn't want to house a child in me. That would be unhealthy. I felt that was unjust. And I mean event, obviously, I'm not a mother, we ended up breaking up and not having kids. But I think at the time that you're very right, that could have played into it where Hey, I want to make sure that I'm the best I can be for anyone that I would house within my body. And I felt that the I felt that honestly, the way I was going was not the way to do that.

Scott Benner 43:07
I just I've heard people tell stories too many times that mimic that idea, but they don't tell it like that. They don't know that's what they did. It's through the conversation that you hear it. They finally meet somebody, they want to be a mom, they're doing it for someone else. All of a sudden, it's a fascinating psychological thing that we can't do things for ourselves, but we can do them for other people. Even when they're about us. And by the way, sadly, brick oven mama is not going to be the title of your episode, but I wish it was gonna end up being an after dark just because the sensitive nature of it but oh my god, if only if only the story led to it being brick oven, Mama. I don't know why I just that's what I like. Alright, so 2017 you're wack you're like Alright, what's the first step to fixing it?

Aryssah 43:59
Getting a Dexcom Truly, I had been on a pump very close after being diagnosed, I was probably 21 at the time. And I hated it because I would rip it out in my sleep I'm I guess a more violent sleeper than I care to be where if something's on my body, I want it off. And being on a pump when I was 21 I, the idea to me was just off my God, I don't want anything there. I don't want to have a pump ever again. So the Dexcom to me was a still way to take care of myself without necessarily having a pump. So had the Dexcom at the start of 2018. And about a year later, I started inquiring about the Omni pod saying to myself Hey, okay, the Dexcom is good. This is great, but I still want something on my body to help me you know, inject quickly and and probably in a way to Scott as we kind of talked about earlier in terms of a bit more, a bit more discreetly, as well. I didn't like that. Yes, I was on Dexcom I would see hey, Okay, I gotta go and jack. Well, if I'm at a restaurant, maybe I'll go to the bathroom to do that. I just kind of wanted to be myself. For I was,

Scott Benner 45:00
I wonder sometimes if people listening to the ads, and if you listen to the ads, thank you very much. It's how the podcast keeps going, I appreciate that. But in the in the Omni pod ads, sometimes they'll say, you know, one of the best things about it is you can wear it out in the open and be proud about it and let everybody see, or you can, or you can put it somewhere discreet. And that's up to the person. Because some people are going to come through your path and want it to be discreet, and some people are, are going to have been dropped in the race at a better better place. Who doesn't care if you see their Dexcom, their CGM or their or their pump. And, but that, that you have that choice is a big deal because everybody's different. You know, I always just imagine people think I'm saying stuff to say it. Like everything sounds trite. When you bang it down into less than two minutes, you know, name and it's hard to be thoughtful in two minutes. But that is really what I mean by that, that it's, you know, that everybody listening has a different desire.

Aryssah 45:57
Well, exactly. And everyone's everyone's way should be respected. As long as again, they're doing what's best for them and trying to take care of themselves. And, again, no one is ever going to be perfect. The days that we try to be perfect are some of the most haywire days in terms of our sugars. But as long as we're trying and we were, we're each respectful of each other spaces, but there's no judgement in terms of Hey, why don't you be proud to show off your on the potter? Hey, why don't you wear your Dexcom in your arm rather than your stomach? Show it off? If I'm not comfy to that's okay. And if you're comfy, too, I applaud you that you're that way.

Scott Benner 46:30
I don't understand. judging people at all, I guess, in any, but I just think it's a not that some people aren't judgy. I'm not saying that. But but exactly what you just said is just, hey, you're doing a thing with the thing that I have. But the way you do it is opposite of how I do it. You know what you should do? You should do the thing that makes me happy. Mm hmm. Like, that's really what it is. When people are saying stuff like that. They're just they think, oh, there's a happy way to do this. You're doing it the other way. It's, it's they never put themselves in your shoes and think, oh, maybe this is your happy way. I know that's a lot of the same word over and over again. But there's really there's really that idea that people cannot take themselves out of their own experience and put them in someone else's in and in less in a moment in a in a in a pass by like you don't mean like hey, you use insulin. That's amazing. Because you can poke up when, by the way also, you really should know whenever boys are talking. They're just doing their best. It's their best try to have sex with you. That's all. And I realized most of them are just so ham fisted and not good at it. But they literally boys are just like that girl pretty. Yeah, I say thing. She talked me we go dinner. Like it's not we're really dumb. So it's, uh, it's interesting. So so but you have to you get the Dexcom, which is the tool that helps you make the decisions. But you had to immediately start injecting four meals and counting carbs, were you able to just start doing that?

Aryssah 48:04
I would. I've been trained to count carbs. I mean, when I was first diagnosed, because I didn't take care of myself didn't mean I didn't know how to write that time was something I, I very much did on my own accord. But I still know, I still knew how to sew when I did start injecting I, I was able to take better care of myself because you know, I can count count count carbs and ensure that I'm eating the right things and making sure that I have fibers you know, you know, low low glycemic index foods of Hey, okay, well, not gonna have you know, basmati rice, I'm gonna have brown rice instead. So those decisions were easy to navigate, thankfully. But it was challenging in the way of always making sure I had needles on me always making sure that I had my insulin on me, always willing to try to backup. So that was obviously challenging. But yes, I could still manage to take care of myself. Because Because I had those skill sets from before.

Scott Benner 48:58
You just had to use them here. Just make yourself do it. By the way. interesting side note basmati rice really easy on Arden. Well, interesting. When you said that I was like, Oh, I can't believe that's the juxtaposition she had there. But that's goes right back to my last the what I was just saying. Because imagine you go online, you say, ah, somebody says, I eat white rice. And I got really high. Does anybody have blah, blah, blah to help me out and you jump in and go? Oh, yeah, brown rice definitely don't eat basmati rice. And then what if I was like, that's wrong, basmati we're like, it's it's not wrong. It's what works for you.

Aryssah 49:35
Everyone, everyone has a different experience of hate that you know, when I'm low, I really like to have gushers because there's 18 carbs in them. And I feel like it's just the right amount to get me back up to speed whereas other people may depend on juice or other people may depend on I don't know, sugar pills, right. But we're all we're all just trying to do our best with whatever tools that work best for us.

Scott Benner 49:56
Yeah, no, that's that's my point is just stop thinking everybody. Get something wrong. I have such an I have such a good example from the from the internet, but I can't I don't want to use it because I don't want to make anybody feel badly but watching adults not be able to interact is fascinating. I've just like you can see what they're doing wrong like you like Don't say that. Now you said it. Don't react that they did it. They doing it on purpose? like are they trying? Like, is it one of those things where like, let me just get another dig in? Where do they really not understand? Like, it's would be such a gift to step back and watch your own life from a third party perspective. Yeah, but anyway, so Okay, so you're giving yourself your insulin, you're making better food choices? Does it ever? Do you ever fall off the wagon?

Aryssah 50:47
I haven't actually. And I think there are ways where you can still enjoy a few things where you're shaking, I think when you're open and communicative about it, Scott. So for example, on my diabetic anniversary cheer, you know, June 26, maybe I you know, yeah, have a have a packet Smarties or something of that nature. But I do it with my partner to say, hey, like, this is an important day, let's do something to celebrate. And but I'll still inject. That's the difference. I'll eat that. But I know now that hey, I can eat whatever the heck I want, as long as I take care of myself for it. And you know, use my Omni pod. So falling off the wagon no of saying, Hey, I'm going to not inject and eat whatever I want for a week. No, I don't do that anymore. But do I try and enjoy little things in a controlled manner? Of course. And it's, it's because I'm able to talk and share with my partner about it. Cool.

Scott Benner 51:37
Is that, are you? Maybe you're not but are you shell shocked at all? Like, is there any part of you that feels like if I like, like to liken this to alcoholism for a second that one beer would turn into a case? Like, do you have that feeling of like if I ate something, and I got the Bolus wrong and my blood sugar went up? I just be like, whatever, like, would you do have that concern? Are you just being a thoughtful adult about your eating?

Aryssah 52:04
Right, and I, I want to touch on it in the way of I think I think I mentioned this earlier in the way of when you're really high, it continues to feel good, when you're really high until it doesn't, right until you start throwing up. But when you're taking care of your sugar, and you have a spike in an afternoon or a day, I feel like crap, there's no way that I would ever be able to do what I used to do now, because I've had that cycle of continuously taking care of myself. So thankfully, it's not like alcohol, or it's not like drugs or anything along those lines where you're looking forward to that feeling again, I know that I very well could, you know, not inject for a bunch of a bunch of candy that I eat. However, I know that I'm gonna feel so sick afterwards. And to me, that's not worth it.

Scott Benner 52:49
Yeah. You know, the other night. The other day, actually, on the weekend, Arden said, Can you take me to the grocery store, I'm gonna make cookies, and I need some ingredients. We got her all these ingredients. And later that night, she must have spent like an hour and a half in the kitchen making like these snickerdoodle cookies that had this icing on top that were kind of cream cheesy. It was right. There's something over the top. And then she walked out and said, Does anybody want a cookie and gave everybody a cookie? And then she didn't eat one. And she never had one. And I asked her at one point said the cookies are good to try. And she's another too sweet for me. And I was like, Oh, okay. I'm gonna be five of them. Just so you know. But no, but like, it's, it was interesting that she just, she doesn't like too much sweet stuff. And she knows it. And so she just doesn't do it. And I don't even know. It's I don't even know why that is like, how does somebody make a good decision like that? You know? Because certainly one cookie after all that work right. But now, she just didn't and doesn't. And that's not a that's not an uncommon story for her like that. Just so you're making me feel

Aryssah 53:58
good on her to be that way. That's that's I really respect that. Yeah, you should be proud.

Scott Benner 54:02
I just it's funny, because I never thought about it before until I was talking to you like that. This is a an accomplishment of some some sort. I don't know what exactly. But I'm going to give myself most of the credit for it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my wife probably a little bit MIMO and ardonagh. You know, whatever. Yeah, it's just happening to her. She's not making decisions. I'm teasing. I just think it's a I think it's I didn't think of that as, as some sort of a life level up, but I guess it is really well, what else should people know?

Aryssah 54:35
The last thing I would probably want to share too, is as as we talked about, I was writing my university career while I was going through this and obviously my mental state, physical health and GPA truly all suffered because of it. And I know that university can be really challenging and that diabetes itself can be really challenging, but I've created a scholarship Actually, this year, hoping to provide some solace to a student who is diabetic themselves. And entering their first year of university. And I want to be able to help people now and I have the means to be able to help people now as a, you know, fully working functioning adult. And I find I find it to be cathartic to be involved with that funding it myself to say, Hey, I went through this, I don't want you to feel this. If you're experiencing some of the challenges that I did, here's a scholarship to help pay for your education. Wow, how many scholarships are you funding? So just the one, it's funded through myself, it's not a whole lot, but it's called the the torchbearer scholarship toward for scholarship for type ones. And I just really want to make sure that I tried to do right by the situation, as I mentioned, that I felt was unjust. And this is a good way for me to give back and feel better, maybe about the situation I by no means I'm ever going to be able to go back and erase those years that I didn't take care of myself. But this could be a way to make myself feel that I've

Scott Benner 55:55
come to terms with it. It's lovely. Is there any chance that's happening in a Canadian province with a really funny name? No, unfortunately, no, nevermind. I was hoping it would be Manitoba or something like no, no, no,

Aryssah 56:08
I live in I live in Toronto, Ontario. So I'm one of the more regulated names

Scott Benner 56:14
you didn't even say at tr. O and like I said, it's it's without the second tee. It's mostly Toronto. Yeah. You don't really say the second tee? No, I know you don't. But I had somebody on recently that was like, I live in Toronto. And I'm like, wait a minute What now? I was like, TRN t. Trump Toronto. Meanwhile, you know, I can't say water. But what the hell, you know? Still, which when I think she when she said it on is like that's by that's gonna be a good episode. I can't wait. There are times where I think I wish the show was just a daily like, show. Because I have these conversations and like, I can't wait for people to hear these. And then I they don't go up all the time. So you have to wait. And like I'm thinking right now like, Oh, this is a great story like this should go up right away. But the truth is, it's not going to, like I'm so recorded ahead. But I'm enjoying talking to you a lot. I want to I just very much want to make sure that we're not missing anything here. So there's no. So you saw let me make Let me see if I can pick through my understanding. So you, you had some sort of a major health crisis that made you say, I am not living like this anymore. First step, I think is to be able to see my blood sugar. So you got you got to CGM, then you had to make the conscious decision to give yourself insulin which it doesn't sound like you had trouble doing. It wasn't like some sort of an existential fight to do you gave yourself insulin, you brought your agency down how long until you felt better? I would say maybe

Aryssah 57:50
the only part was really the big changer. So I mean, even a few weeks after having the Omnipod I felt so much better, so much better Scott and to be able to to be able to not have that roller coaster of the up and downs. I think that's that's one of the most untalked about challenges. Yes, we talk about it certain instances, but it's it's the consistent roller coaster. And I'm sure some people talk about it, but it's just not. It's not known maybe it's the most challenging thing people maybe go to different you know, lows or highs but they don't talk about the in between period of that going up and down where you know, if you're if you're high you over and jacked and then you ultimately go low. And then when you're low, obviously you try need someone else to bring you higher, and then you go high again, and it's just that constant vicious cycle.

Scott Benner 58:36
I think of it as chasing, you're always chasing the diabetes like Daddy, and how did you and how did you know how to do it? Like, did you limit carbs so that you could be successful with the insulin? or How did you know how to be successful and keep away the ups and downs,

Aryssah 58:51
I would say not necessarily limit carbs, I do have a pretty low carb diet. So that wasn't too challenging. I think if we're kind of being candid through this and going back in the schedule, or the or the timeline, once I had the Dexcom I was eating healthier. So when the Omnipod came along, it was just Hey, how do I manage eating healthy already, but without having to necessarily inject got it. So it was it was pretty easy to do and obviously much more handy and a great tool. But I think Yeah, after a couple of weeks on the Omni part of you know it is challenging a little bit in the beginning because you're trying to get your basil is right and you know, trying to make sure that your your I don't have my carb ratio I think changed as well. But once I got it right, it was Oh wow. Okay, I feel awesome and what like looking down on my Dexcom I'm what 6.2 That's amazing. And again, I apologize for the for the discrepancy in American and Canadian numbers but Juicebox Podcast I kind of made once you calculate but it felt it felt amazing. And I think your mind becomes addicted to again, whatever your whatever your environment is, if you're feeling good, you want to continue to feel Good. If you feel bad, unfortunately, you want to continue to feel that way too.

Scott Benner 1:00:03
Yeah. Now your body's process of chemicals, right chemical reactions happening all over the place. If you if you take out sugar, just as an example of what you're saying, your body will stop wanting it at some point. And then you give it back. And it's just like, it just it lights up every one of those receptors again, you're like, Oh, my God, sugar, definitely want more sugar until you completely crash and your system can't keep up with it. And you're, you know, you look up six months later, and you're 25 pounds heavier, and you feel like you've eaten a big dinner constantly. And it's just a drag on your your blood sugar is, is very much in charge of a lot of how you feel. Yeah, just true. I had a question where to go. It's in my brain somewhere. I'm getting older. It's not my fault. is what I'm sticking with for now. Dammit. What was I gonna say? This is very poignant. There should be some music that plays here while I'm thinking but Jeopardy music. Yeah, but then I'd have to pay to use the music and what the hell? Give me a second. I'm not talking. I'm lost. I'm 100% lost. In my own mind, this is terrible. I'm going to start over instead. And I'll find my way back. So Dexcom on the pod, using the insulin correctly, making better food choices. You haven't felt like you're gonna slip backwards? No. therapy. That was it? Did you go to therapy?

Aryssah 1:01:37
Did very thankful for any counseling I've done? And I think in the past, I'd felt and this is this is a conversation that I hope this should be the pinpoint of the episode here to where everyone needs to speak to someone if they're going through diabetes. And I think it's not, it's not talked about enough where Yes, okay, we're given those tools of, you know, a nurse maybe and, you know, you meet with your diabetes education center, you really need to speak to someone about how you feel. Because I felt that I was a failure. I felt heavy on my self worth. I felt like I couldn't do anything right when it came to diabetes. And then after speaking to my therapist and sort of discovering Hey, Yeah, wow. Okay, if I've been diagnosed three months earlier, I would have had all these tools at my disposal. But because of, you know, luck of the draw, unfortunately, I didn't. That doesn't mean that I'm a failure. It just means I wasn't set up with the right tools. So I really want if anyone has a message to take away from this episode, please speak to someone. You're not alone. You can speak to support groups, you can speak to a therapist, you can speak to friends, family, just don't keep how you're feeling to yourself, because it's it's painful to bottle it up. Are you proud of yourself? Oh, very much, very much. And I don't think Scott, if you had told me at 19 what I would be at now? I would think I would think you're crazy.

Scott Benner 1:02:57
Yeah. Do you think you would be dead? Probably. Did you ever have a conscious thought? Like, I'm just gonna ride this wave to like, crash into the reef, or you weren't thinking about it? I

Aryssah 1:03:06
think I didn't care as much when I was treating my body that way. Because I thought I don't know how long this is gonna last anyway. So Screw it.

Scott Benner 1:03:12
Okay. Were you ever misled by the idea of like, they're going to cure this, so it doesn't matter?

Aryssah 1:03:19
Oh, completely. I mean, my mom and I go into my undercut endocrinologists office when I was diagnosed, he says, hey, yeah, five to 10 years, we'll have a cure. And I mean, that was 2009. Right?

Scott Benner 1:03:31
So as a young person that kind of makes you feel like, why not to do a great job of this? Because they'll just cure it. Yeah, not realizing that, I think in the history of mankind, we've only cured like nine things, and five of them aren't that exciting, right? So yeah, the curing something like that. And I'm making air quotes, no one can see me making air quotes. So I better find a way to use inflection, but curing something's uncommon. And the end, if you really understood the system at play, like maybe they'll be able to block your immune system and replace your beta cells one day or something like that. But there's no you're not going to take a pill and not have diabetes anymore. Right? That's not how this is going to work in in any kind of foreseeable timeline that you and I are going to be alive in. You know, I'm not saying that the baby's organs aren't gonna figure it out 5000 years from now or something like that, but we're not figuring out in 2026 like that. So

Aryssah 1:04:32
I think if you folks to probably I don't know I felt this way after leaving the doctor's office that honeymoon phase is so important thinking oh, well, you know, they told me I have this but I don't really write because I mean my blood sugar is not terrible. Now that I've started taking insulin a little bit and then honestly when that honeymoon phase goes away, you know, wham bam

Scott Benner 1:04:51
Yeah. Wham you got diabetes. Boom, here we go. You know, your your Basal goes from three a day to 10 a day like what happened well Have a sudden a unit of insulin won't make you low. It won't even make your blood sugar move. Right and you're 19 and yeah, I think that it prouds not even the right word like, for how you should feel, you know what I mean? Like somebody dropped you in the middle of a war again with a like a peashooter and and your home now. You know, that's it's really a it's extraordinary, honestly, isn't it? No. No. And, and you're Canadian. So bonus points. Because I mean, I don't know. Like imagine. Listen for people listening, imagining having to ride a moose to your doctor's appointment. It's not a great life.

Aryssah 1:05:37
It's challenging. I usually have to Yeah, I escaped to to the pharmacy to pick up my insulin. So you're very right,

Scott Benner 1:05:43
I escaped on two rocks that you tied to your feet. You live at the Arctic Circle, I think I'm not that far for you. I'm not that far from I realize it's very close to me. So Matter of fact, I think you drive through some fairly Hickey, United States states to get to Toronto, where Toronto might be much more of a metropolitan center than those places are right. But it's more fun if we talk about it like this. So you live in an igloo, and, and even though we don't know what you do for a living, we assume you trap beavers, and hats and other warm weather here so that your people don't die. That's right. 100%. Although I guess we're gonna end this in a second, I'm gonna find out you're an attorney or something like that. But is there anything else that you want to add that you think that people should know? But I think this has been a terrific episode. But I just want to make sure I don't miss anything. No, I

Aryssah 1:06:42
think I think I've shared all that I can. And I hope everyone can be vulnerable with anyone that they're speaking to you. And the same way that I have, that I've been this episode. And I there's power in that vulnerability, and there's power in that resiliency, and there's power in that adversity that we're all dealing with. So I guess just be open, whenever you feel comfortable, it may not be right away. But whenever you feel comfortable, feel free to be vulnerable. Well, I

Scott Benner 1:07:04
want to thank you for doing that. I was just sharing with my brother last night that he was asking, it's a weird thing to have a podcast like this that says popular as it is because there are people in your life like that. Like I don't know if it comes to surprise anybody. But nobody in my immediate family has ever heard this podcast. And you know, he's talking to my brother. And he was asking about it a little bit. And I was telling him how it was growing. And we were talking about downloads and stuff like that, while he and I were on the phone. And I was telling him I think I might add another advertiser soon. And he said, what else comes from the show besides like this, this aspect of it, I started telling him about people writing to me, and, and seeking me out to tell me stories. And listen. A lot of people have blogs and podcasts and you'll hear people say like I hear from people all the time. And and sometimes the reality is they get a note every once in a while, which is amazing. I'm not saying that that's not all the time, but I probably hear from 15 people a day. And so I was explaining to my brother about not feeling like you have to not get overwhelmed by hearing people's stories, and not make yourself numb to them either. So that you can you want to really hear them. Like I want to really hear when somebody writes to me or reaches out or whatever, like I don't want to, I don't want your best moment in the last three years to be a blahs a like thing to me, I guess. And so I don't feel that way. But you do when it happens so frequently. Like you got to catch yourself. Sometimes somebody is like, Oh my God, my life is changed. You don't go great. Like, you know, like you, you can really be in it with them. But what I said to him was that personally, that it's been incredibly fulfilling to me, and not for helping people. I mean, although the it is for that. But I still I'm starting to feel like a repository of people's stories. Like I get to hear every one of them and it's different to have the count, even though the people listening I think are being really served well by this conversation you and I are having. I'm listening to it in a different way. Because I do not know what you're going to say. And I do not know what question is going to pop in my head when you say it. So we are having a really personal like interaction right now you and I. And I just feel like the decisions I make around diabetes and life at this point now. May I'm just gonna digress for one more second. When I grew up, I was I'm adopted right so I grew up with a family unit and I did not feel incredibly similar to them. Like something would happen and they'd have a reaction my reaction would always be somewhat different. Whether it was like a question about money or politics or in general, like I just I always was sort of different than them. And because of that, I would kind of go out into the world. And when I met people who I found to have like, real valuable aspects to them, I think about them, like I'm thinking of a man now who I met when he was in his 60s who was, you know, basically a brick Mason. I had nothing in common with them. But he was an incredibly hard worker. And I thought that's, that's his best skill. Like, that's his best trait. Like that's important. Like, look how important being a hard worker is, I'll remember that. Or I met a guy who incorporated his his kind of like, comedic feel into bad situations, I was already doing that. But I was like, okay, that seems viable, like, so I would kind of pick and choose from people like their best attributes to pay attention to like, is that something I'd want to do? And now I'm getting to do it with the podcast. And I record three of these a week. So I have hours and hours of conversation every week with people who are different than me who have different perspectives. And as I'm hearing them, I think I'm remembering the kind of the salient points, the stuff that I take away, and I think it's making me a better person.

Aryssah 1:11:20
Oh, completely. But you're, I mean, Scott, yes. And good on you that you're able to stay present with everyone sharing their story when they do, but you're also creating that community for us all to feel safe to share. You know, it wasn't till I started listening to your podcast, where I thought, Oh, hey, you know what, there were some after dark episodes where that kind of resonates with me, you know, hey, yeah, no, there was that there was that girl I listen to that. Yeah, she was actually throwing up as well, while she was diabetic. So it's, it's the community that you are creating as well. The world very thankful for, and grateful that we get to experience but yeah, it sounds like it's a it's a gift both ways, right? It's a gift to yourself, but it's also a gift to us.

Scott Benner 1:11:56
I think I might be getting more out of it than you are. And I feel like you just said you were getting a fair amount out of it. So I think we're good, but, but I appreciate that. I really do. And it was my it's funny, that was actually my intention. But now hearing it set back by you, I think, Wow, that was like a fool's errand when I started it, like, what made me think I could accomplish that. It's such a big thing. You know, like I, I'm sitting here right now, as you say that thinking like, I can't believe it worked. Yeah, I'm grateful it worked. I just, I don't know, I guess, you know, I guess that's everything, right? If you if you stood at the bottom of Mount Everest and thought, I'm probably not going to make it up there, then you wouldn't, you wouldn't even try. And and so some people try and make it and some people don't. And, you know, for whatever reason, who knows? I'm very grateful that it helps people. And and that it's been that it was that for you or for anybody else. Okay, I didn't mean for this to know how great I was at the end. I really was just trying to say that. I'm grateful for people like you who come on and share so openly like this. Because this is not scripted. And you and I did not talk before we did this, like you sent me like a blurb. I think it was three sentences. I sit down and think to myself about the talk to a woman who had an eating disorder is doing better now. Right? Like that's the only like, and then we had technical difficulties. Now I'm an MIT and trying to keep your your life in my mind at the same time. So yeah, very cool. All right, we are going to stop here.

First, a huge thanks to Arista for coming on the show and sharing her story so bravely. I also want to thank Dexcom to remind you to go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box today right now I mean as soon as you're done with us just shut it off Dexcom comm forward slash juice box, then roll right over to Omni pod Omni pod comm forward slash juice box. check in and see if you're eligible for the free 30 day trial the Omni pod dash Don't forget about the Omni pod promise you can get started today. just dive right in. Just want to say here how terrific it is that people come on the show and share so freely really does make the podcast what it is. If you hold on for a second, I'll let you know about the other after darks in case you'd like to find them. So as the podcast gets bigger, I realized there are more and more episodes and it might become difficult to find some of the ones you're looking for. The afterdark series goes all the way back to Episode 274 where we talked about drinking. In Episode 283 we spoke about smoking weed 305 trauma and addiction 319 it was having sex from a female perspective 336 depression and self harm 365 sex from a male perspective 72 after dark divorce and co parenting 380 for bipolar 393 bulimia and depression 399 heroin addiction in Episode 422, we talked to Amy. Amy is so singularly special I just call the episode after dark Amy. In Episode 450 spoke about using psychedelics while you have type one, Episode 462 a sexual assault survivor came on and talked about how that impacted their life with diabetes. There was another episode of 472 living with bipolar disorder 508, the adult child of divorce in Episode 531, a 30 plus year type one named Mike shares his complications with us and of course today, this is a ressa and she's talking about an eating disorder. You can find these episodes in your podcast app by searching Juicebox Podcast afterdark or you can go to Juicebox Podcast comm scroll down a little bit, you'll find them there. As you're scrolling. You'll also see the pro tip series, the defining diabetes series, the diabetes variable series, how we eat there's a ton there to check out. So I mean, whatever algorithm pumping a you know, there's a lot there, head over and take a look Juicebox podcast.com


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#543 Something is Fishy

Scott Benner

Lexi has been living with type 1 diabetes since she was 4 years old.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon MusicGoogle Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio PublicAmazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 543 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Lexi's on the show today, she's a young person living with Type One Diabetes for a long time. It's got a lot of good stories in her life so far it's been quite a quite a ride. She's gonna tell us about it. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. I have said that so much in my life. I'm now pausing it weird spots to make it fun just for me. Your healthcare plan are becoming bold with insulin. It just I'm just playing with it at this point. I don't I just I mean, I have to say it, but I've said it so much. And I don't want to pre record it. So every day I give you a new one. You probably don't care about that, right? Hey, have you checked out the T one D exchange yet? T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. Hear us resident who's has type one, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, you can take the survey at that link. They'll be supporting people with type one diabetes, while supporting the Juicebox Podcast. p one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. g vo hypo Penn. Find out more at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. Please go to Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox to take a good look at the best darn little blood glucose meter I've ever seen. Are you in a bathtub right

Lexi 2:02
now? Why does it sound like I am hearing dripping water? Oh, I you know it's my hearing isn't taking off. Really? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 2:11
Is that taking off?

Lexi 2:15
Well, I have my air pads and I don't know is that better for you? Or Jeremy to take them off?

Scott Benner 2:21
It wasn't the earrings for some sort of an electronic noise. Yeah. Oh, it's a fish tank. Can you like I can kill the fish? I mean, I won't kill the fish to turn the filter off for an hour. Well it?

Unknown Speaker 2:38
No, they're my boyfriend's fish that want to mess with it. Listen.

Scott Benner 2:44
Hey, I can't be your problem. Technically, they're my stepkids treats those fish like his kids. Yeah. I feel like they all have names. Yeah, oh, yeah. All right. Well, this is a strong start to the podcast because I am recording already. And we're going to absolutely find out the names of your boyfriend's fish before we get started. And why you chosen a boyfriend who names this fish? And at no point was this like an indicator for you? Were you like, what did you do? Did you love him by the time he told you that?

Lexi 3:20
Well, so before there were eight fish, and some of them looked the same. But so like some of them had names and some didn't. And then now they're some of them. You know, COVID like this whole mess of like, we live in Chicago. So we were downtown Chicago, and then everything shut down. So he went back to the suburbs, and we lost the fish. And then halfway through this pandemic, like we came back after, I think it was like three weeks, grab the fish brought them back to the suburbs there. And then one of them jumped out and died and then another one disappeared. So it's just been like a mess. Now they all have names.

Scott Benner 3:58
We're never getting to your diabetes story Alexi Just so you know, just introduce yourself very quickly so we can keep going.

Lexi 4:04
Yeah, sure. Okay, my name is Lexi. I am from Chicago. I am I'm 28 years old and I've had diabetes since I was four.

Scott Benner 4:12
Okay. All right, hold on. You lost the fish.

Lexi 4:18
So, one of them just like it's not in the filter wasn't around the floor. We're assuming one of the bigger guys ate her or him? I don't really know. So I mean, when I say it disappeared, it legitimately disappeared.

Scott Benner 4:34
Well, I know I can only be certain that the girl from a recent episode called vegan cat her cat did not kill it because it can't eat protein. So okay, okay, okay, okay. You lost the fish. You will abandon the fish for a while like at first you're like you know Coronavirus is that can Coronavirus affect fish and then I realize you meant that you like took off because the Coronavirus and got out of the way Yeah. All right. Get out of the city. Okay. All right. Let's just start over. Here's the really strange thing. I'm learning about this podcast. How old are you? Well, I'm 27. But I'll be 28. A couple months. Okay. Because when you wrote me you were 26.

Lexi 5:18
Just grown to yours? No, I'll be 28 in December. So I'm assuming that by the time this airs, maybe it'll be 28.

Scott Benner 5:24
Please, by the time this airs will be 33. And those Yeah, maybe like this in February. Okay. All right. So I just don't like her note says she's 26. Nine, like, how long have you been putting people off to get on this podcast? Is it at the point where by the time it's time to record the podcast, do you think like, Oh, that's right. I wanted to be on a pod. Yeah, that's what I woke up this morning. And I was like, it's podcasting. It's nice. I'll tell you what the other secret of how I make sure that the people who are on the podcast want to be on the podcast, is I make almost no effort to remind you of when you're on the podcast. Yeah. Because if you're here today, eight months after you sent me an email, you really want to do this. And that's listen every day. Do you really?

Lexi 6:15
I do. I feel like I was catching up for a while. Um, but then I guess it just, you know, honestly, like I said, I'm a recruiter. So I review resumes 45 minutes every day. So that's my podcast listening time.

Scott Benner 6:27
Yeah, that's cool. I appreciate that. Okay, so Lexi, who's 28 was diagnosed at what age was four? Okay. Do you remember diabetes from being four years old? Or when do you begin to remember it?

Lexi 6:44
I think I really, really begin to remember it when I went to kindergarten. But before that, like I remember bits and pieces of like, right before I was diagnosed. And then there are things that my parents told me like, I didn't go to preschool because it was right when I was diagnosed, and then we moved out of the city and into the suburbs. So there wasn't really a time for me to go to preschool. So I remember like those little things, but I'd say kindergarten just because I was so different than all the other students. I had to go to the nurse's office, I had juice boxes at my dad's my teacher, you know, always kept an eye on me things like that.

Scott Benner 7:17
Do you ever wonder? I wonder. So I'm going to find out if you wonder if my memories are because someone told it to me where because I remember.

Lexi 7:28
You know, I was asking my mom that because I asked her like both my parents. I was asking him about my like diagnosis ever since. You know, we figured out a time and date for this. But there was one story I told her and she was like, I can't believe you remember that? And I was like,

Unknown Speaker 7:43
I don't? I didn't. I don't know. I

Lexi 7:45
thought someone told me the story. She's like, I for sure has never have never told you anything about like this specific. Like moment. It was like a weird memory that I had. Like, maybe like two months before I was diagnosed. I think I was really really sick. Like pukey puky like all the time, and I'm

Scott Benner 8:04
episode title Lexie, hold on a second. puke up all the time. Go ahead. Lexi Foyle pppp.

Lexi 8:13
Well, no, there was this memory that I had. I remember I was like, in the bathroom. I was puking. And then afterwards, I my mom was like carrying me and we lived in like a little apartment at the time. And I was like, Can I have a pickle? My mom's like, yeah, you had such strange cravings. Like, you would have these full meals at dinnertime and then go in the fridge and just like eat lunch meat, like right from the bag. And I was like, as a four year old. I don't know what I was doing. But you know, it's just so weird.

Scott Benner 8:42
Do you wonder how many people right now are thinking Wait, you just can't eat lunch meat out of the bag. That's wrong. Oh. My last thought, by the way about memories is that I am starting to believe that photos that I've favorited in my in my I have iPhoto. So we have all of our pictures are in this one place. I'm starting to think that I believe that my favorited photos are my favorite times of life because I see the pictures more frequently. So I remember the time. I'm starting to think that I'm impacting what I think about my life by the pictures that I say. Yeah, that's a good point. I

Lexi 9:21
mean, I feel like when I look the happiest in my picture is probably a really happy moment or really sad moment, whatever. And I do like tend to cling on to those memories. I

Unknown Speaker 9:30
don't know. That's a really good

Unknown Speaker 9:31
point to bring up though.

Scott Benner 9:32
I'm just telling you that. I don't know why I have so many stoner thoughts and I don't smoke but I just I'm like I think I'm impacting my memories with these pictures. Yeah, anyway. Okay, so I got to do some quick math. Let's we're calling you 28. And it's a phone. It's a 24 years ago, and it's like 1996

Unknown Speaker 9:57
Yep, exactly. Married by the way.

Scott Benner 10:01
What do you say? The year I got married? Oh? Yeah, well, I'm just saying, either you're really young or I'm really old, but there's something going on here. Okay, so interesting. What was it like back then? Did they give you a pump right away? or What did you do?

Lexi 10:20
No. So, um, I don't remember too much of it. I got it. I went on mini med. When I was in second grade, so I think I was eight. But before that, we had to dip I think it was like, ah, and our, he was an insulin. And my parents did everything for me. I'm very grateful for that. But I remember, definitely, there was no pens, so it was all syringes. So you had to pull it out of the vial. I definitely tested my fingers. I mean, my my fingers looked like pasta streeters. I could, like squeeze my finger without poking it and blood would come out. Like that's how. And my parents tested me 12 times a day. So it was like equivalent to a Dexcom. Now but finger cricket. Yeah. So I mean, my fingers were just like, so. So like scabby and like I couldn't feel much. But I mean, now that I've moved on to a CGM, it feels much better.

Scott Benner 11:14
Just just, that's what it was. That's what are just so I don't get a bunch of emails later. I think it's RNN. Or l&r. I think you said, I'm not sure. I just don't like I just thinking humalog. I don't know. I'm just telling you. I am I agree with that. If I agreed with that, and it's wrong. It's email city. Hey, Scott, an episode of the podcast. You said. Lexi said and then you agreed with her and I'm okay. I'm trying to talk here. It takes a lot of effort. Okay. Everything can't be perfect. So wait a minute, you could really squeeze your fingers and make blood come out. Yeah, it was disgusting. Oh, do you have? Do you have a like a clotting issue or anything like that? No, I

Lexi 11:53
from what I know. No, but it was always like my pointer finger. My middle fingers were the ones that I tested on the most. And those are the two fingers that would do that.

Scott Benner 12:01
That's an interesting party trick. Yeah, right. Okay, look what I can. Do. You ever get the double bang? Like you click it once, but you have two holes, and they're not near each other?

Lexi 12:11
Mm hmm. Yeah, actually, I got that a lot. Or I would just poke one side and then like blood from the other side of my finger would come up to so I don't know. Like, okay, well, that one wasn't enough. So I can just go from the other side, too. And that was the other thing, like, now I can, when I'm testing my blood sugar, if I have to, I can, you know, go back and like re poke my finger and put more blood in it. But before it was like you had three seconds. And if you didn't make it in that three seconds, like you had to use a whole new strip.

Scott Benner 12:40
I know. Well, technology's come a long way. All right. Listen, I think everybody needs the buckle. And I think Alexi is gonna be a fun ride. So let's, let's figure out what happened here. So I am a you have a pretty detailed email. You obviously write emails professionally, I can see that. So so moving through that time, not not very much of a big deal for you. Like, you don't seem to indicate that your early years were any kind of a burden or anything like that. Going into middle school, and you started playing a lot of different sports. Yeah. How did that get managed? Well,

Lexi 13:17
so at that time, I was on the pump. So I had a two pump. So sixth grade was when I started volleyball. And I remember the coach specifically telling me like, you can't die for a ball, because you're going to your bomb said, you're going to mess up your pump. And I was like, Okay, well, I can never go for the balls that are going to hit the ground, but that's fine. And then later on that same year, I started track. And I remember this, like memory of I was going through hurdles, like hurdle practice. And I remember jumping through one hurdle, and I was making it and I had this worry in the back of my head where I knew that my pump was just gonna fly off. Like I just like, had this worry. And then lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. I went through the fourth hurdle, my foot got caught on the hurdle, I fell to the ground, but like, my pump went one way. And I went the other way. So I remember my mom had to come and pick me up from practice, because I didn't have insulin on me. And you know, at the time, like the pump wasn't so like, I couldn't carry it with me to school to if I had to change it. There were just so many pieces to it. So I remember like the second I got home, I was like, get this thing. You can't have it and by that summer I my mom's we got we switched to the patons. So that was okay for me. And then I had lantis and novolog. Okay, and I don't remember anything crazy going on, like low blood sugars or high blood sugars or anything.

Scott Benner 14:42
Did you like show up a volleyball practice the next year? And we're like, hey, guess what? I can die for balls. Oh, yeah, I made the 18 I would assume if you can't dive it's pretty hard to be good at volleyball. Right? Right. Exactly. I can imagine the the absolute joy on the volleyball coach when your mom was Hey, Lexi can't die if he was probably like, say What now? Like, we just put this girl on our team and said no to get the girl that can dive. So the whole game lady, what do you want from me? That's very funny, actually. So you you pushed your parents to get you back on MDI then?

Lexi 15:22
Yeah. Oh yeah, I think at that point well, when I was in second grade I, I wasn't old enough to make that decision. I didn't even know I was going on a pump. I just remember, one day I was stayed home from school and the mini med people can't or the majority people came to my house and they were putting this thing on me. And I was like, What is going on? My parents, my dad, I remember it was like, No, this is going to be fair diabetes, it's going to help you and I was like, okay, whatever. I mean, yeah, like everyone in school knew I was diabetic, for so long. So it wasn't anything that I had to go to school and explain to people. From that time I pushed them to get off of it. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 15:57
from that time to the track incident, you had a pump, then you got rid of the pump. And you didn't have one for a long time, right?

Lexi 16:04
Yeah, so I didn't have one, all through high school, or the rest of middle school all through high school, all through college. And really, actually, a year ago, I might memories on my photos came up a year ago that I switched to the 670 g last year. So it's been a year since I've been on it, actually.

Scott Benner 16:25
Right. And so there's a big gap of time. Now, I think this is where a good part of your story happens. Right? So you're doing well all through high school, you told me your parents, you know, made you promise to take care of things keep track of stuff, if they let you go back to the shots. And you know, that was no trouble through through high school. What do you know about what you're a one sees worth through high school?

Lexi 16:46
Yeah, I don't think they want to, or over 6.5, I think they were I was really in good control up until then. But I still had like my parents, like, hey, make sure you Pre-Bolus like, Hey, we're eating dinner in 15 minutes, make sure you give yourself your shot. So I had those reminders that were really helpful. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 17:01
Your parents did not come to college with you, I assume? No, they didn't. And did it become an issue that there wasn't somebody there telling you what to do?

Lexi 17:10
No, in the back of my head, I knew like I still gave myself insulin and just wasn't like I would be more private about it. And I was thinking a lot about this. Because in my earlier grades, my mom would come to school with me my first day, and she would read a book to everybody in my class, about like taking diabetes to school. So everybody knew I had diabetes, it wasn't like everyone got excited when they had to walk me to the nurse's office, like before lunch, or if I was low. But then like, when I went to college, I didn't have that parent there to teach everybody that I had diabetes, so no one really around me knew about it. So I my roommate, obviously knew, and she was just like, okay, like, do I need to do anything? I was like, No, I'm saying I'm self managed, like, I can do anything, I can do everything I need to. So it was kind of like, I don't know, if it was an embarrassment kind of thing, or I just didn't want to explain it to people. You know, like, what happens if I'm hire like, if I'm moody or you know, this and that and like, what the side effects could be from higher low blood sugars, that I was just like, you know, if I just don't tell anybody about it, and just like manage it myself, I think that I can do it. I can do this, you know,

Scott Benner 18:17
did not telling them make it feel weird when you did something and that therefore you weren't doing it as frequently or like did was cast exactly, I

Lexi 18:26
had a friend who didn't like shot. So I would never do my shot around her. I would wait until I go to the bathroom or but I would never say like, hey, let me go to the bathroom real quick. Because we're going to eat soon, I would be like, Oh, actually, I have to go to the bathroom now. So I just bring my shot with me and do do my shot there. But I would just pull it out. And like some of my friends wouldn't even say anything as I just you know, injecting myself. But if

Scott Benner 18:49
I was around you were like consciously trying not to make who I'm just making up a name, but but you didn't want her to be uncomfortable. Exactly, exactly. That's interesting. I would never occurred to me, I might have a personality disorder. It's possible. I've never considered another person in a situation like that before. But I get why you would. And I understand how it could happen. But that's so that so nobody's there to explain it because nobody's there to explain it, then you feel like Well, I don't feel like explaining it to everybody. And or I don't want to freak everybody out by whipping this thing out that they don't understand starting that whole, that whole rigmarole. So then,

Lexi 19:28
and then also part of it was I had lecture halls of like, fall like, you know, 100 people. So I remember like every class that I had in high school, middle school, whatever, I'd go to the teacher and say, Hi, my name is Lexi. I'm diabetic. You know, the nurse knows this. Like, here's my IEP is what we used to call instead of 504 plan. Like here, here's glucose tablets, if you can just keep it when you're asking case I have a low, but I remember doing that my first day in college, to my professor and he was just like, okay, like, I'm not going to carry these around with me. You know, and I was like it dawned on me I was like, Yeah, that's right. Like 500 students said he sees a day, there's no way that he's gonna remember who I am just because I'm a diabetic. It's not like me sitting in the front of the lecture class, he's gonna be like keeping an eye on me. So I think that, like,

Scott Benner 20:14
you know, whatever. He's given a lecture to 300 people in from the back of the room he hears and he's got exactly I hope that's not Lexi. I gotta get the glucose tablets. It was that Lexi? And then what do you wait for someone to say no, sir. Lexi, this is me. I'm Lexi. I'm good. That was good. We're good. That kid fell for a completely different reason.

Lexi 20:35
Exactly. So I think there's that moment dawned on me and I was like, maybe just people don't care. Like if I don't explain it to people, it's not gonna matter. And if I do explain it to meet people, it's still not going to matter. So I don't know. I just I think at that point, I just kind of assumed that everybody was the same and wanting to learn about it. And I just kind of quote closed was really closed off about it right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 20:54
Your parents did you a disservice by not explaining to you at some point in your life that nobody really cares about you just you say Oh, yeah, there's not one person in the world walking around gone. This Lexie. Very interesting. I'm keeping an eye. Yeah. Exactly. No one cares about about you know that nobody's got time to care. And you know, I just mean of like regular everyday people. Obviously. You have family and friends who care. That kind of thing but the general public is not it's not worried about you.

Lexi 21:25
Right? Exactly. I don't have some sort of watch person as I'm walking to camp like walking on campus to school every day. It's why sell sugar. Okay, yeah. Fat snack and you ate that snack and you didn't Pre-Bolus for it a Skittle earlier, like,

Unknown Speaker 21:38
no, no one's there.

Scott Benner 21:40
The guy the guy running the security desk is like Is everything all right? Like she's you walk by like it's a 1950s TV show and you're walking on a black and white Street and the market guys like Lexie, take a piece of bread in case you get low. everybody cares about Lexi? Let Yeah, no, it's not like that. Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? That we're also self conscious? Because really, no one's watching you. Except, except, except everyone people watches. But that's meaningless because it's fleeting. Right? Like, like, do what you must. Do. You look at every person you walk past.

Lexi 22:13
No, I mean, kind of like if I'm in a group. Let's say I'm at the pool. And there's a bunch of people at the pool. I love to people watch. But if I'm just walking to the street, or like down the street to my cart, I am one track mind just going to my car. And that's it.

Scott Benner 22:29
I know what every person looks like, who I pass on the street. As I'm driving, I look over I look at their face, I assess their car. And then I move on. Now that information is going out of my head a split second later. And if you were to say to me, you know what the last guy looked like, I don't know. But for some reason, I'm mesmerized by finding out. I love it. But my point is, is that it's completely fleeting. It's three days later, I don't sit down and go, we just hit it again. I just hit the stop button. Lexie and I'm recording again, for the first time in like 400 recordings, I just reached forward touched my keyboard and it stopped. That was weird. But I what I was gonna say was is that I never, it's not like three weeks later, I'm like, you remember the guy in the orange car with a blue hat? I've got to track him down and let him know that that hat did not match that car. Like that's what I mean about being self conscious. Like, who cares? Even like what someone else thinks you're never even going to know it. That's why I'm always weirded out by people who can be impacted by like, the internet. Yeah, like, you can just shut the internet off. You know?

Lexi 23:36
It's not like no, you don't have to log in every day. And you know, read every comment that everyone makes exactly for

Scott Benner 23:41
guys. Yeah, go ahead. No, I was gonna say for guys comes to your house and threatens to punch you in the face then punches you in the face that I'd be worried about. But, you know, if if a man in Argentina tells me he doesn't like the podcast, the way I get around that is by never ever paying attention to him. Like he doesn't exist. It's fascinating. Really, when you stop and think about it, what we what we give power to? I know and it seems like it really impacted you at school though. It's interesting. Yeah,

Lexi 24:09
I was Yeah, that's what I was just gonna say is that at school for some reason it I mean, I didn't care what anyone thought of me up until I went to school and then vote and that was like six years probably like all through school and then my first like, couple years in working life, I cared about everything and what everyone what everyone thought about me. And then once I switch back to the pump last year, like I don't care what people see, like if it's on my arm or on my leg, or like, I have this like, pad just bulging through my, my pant leg. Like, it just doesn't matter anymore. And I don't know when that switch for me. Maybe it was just because it was like, you know, you find someone that you start dating and you want to start, like making yourself healthier. And I've heard this on the podcast so many times. You want to get yourself healthier so that you can have a longer life with somebody else. That's when I think everything just turned on, like just flip the switch and I'm like, No,

Scott Benner 24:56
I need to get healthy. I'm more important than somebody else. Right, my odd thoughts about what other people may be thinking about me. And yeah, well listen, you gotta come correct if you want to attract a man who names this fish. You can't just come out Yeah, you can't just be doing it half assed I mean, that guy's gonna pass you right by he's obviously got a lot of options. So the least I could do is take care of myself I really want to know I want to take you back in a time machine and have him tell you that he names those fish before you cared about him and see if he's still your boyfriend.

Unknown Speaker 25:33
Imagine right. Hey, Mom,

Scott Benner 25:35
I thought I had a guy I was interested in but then you know he named US Fish and so we don't go out anymore. I just wanted to let you know. So you go to college you become self conscious about the diabetes. And and Do you ever work through it at college? Or is it just something that just plagues you the entire time?

Lexi 25:54
It was like something that was just in the back of my mind, but I didn't know what it was it was school first than diabetes. So I had a I remember I didn't go to the endo that often. And I think it was also this weird transition where I had this amazing endo from when I was four until 18. And then I was just expected to get a new endo and everyone every endocrinologist I met I hated I was just like no I'm not going back to them like I've got to find a new one. So that was kind of a struggle for me a little bit like I couldn't relate to any of them

Unknown Speaker 26:27
up until that point,

Scott Benner 26:28
and if I'm right here from what I remember from your email, you just you stopped testing during college completely

Lexi 26:37
Yeah, I know my parents are gonna listen to this and be like what but I'm not completely but I'd say like it went from like three times a day before meals and then it went to like in the morning and then before I went to bed and then it just like slowly weeded out I wasn't good.

Scott Benner 26:55
And you were not seeing an endo during that time either.

Lexi 26:59
No, I would get me a once he tested if I went to see like the yearly doctor. So I remember one and once a once he was at at 12 and then it just started coming down to what was like 8.8 last year before I switched to the pump

Scott Benner 27:15
okay all right. Hey real quick let's do a plug for juice box Doc's calm there's like three great doctors on my my list right from Chicago that apparently won't help you while you were there. Let's just real quick melody beers. I need to Swami Karis. Zimmer. Those are just three. Oh, I'm sorry Karis in wheaton, my fault. That's okay. It's close enough. I don't know Chicago at all. All I know is that for some reason you guys are excited that your pizza stick and I don't understand that either. So

I don't know what that means. Why would I use it? It does it. That's just bread and bread. Just say you want bread? Like let it go? Yeah, I mean, that's fine. I'm not judging you. Just, you know, eat bread and throw some ketchup on it. Tell me it's pizza.

Lexi 28:04
You know, I will clarify. I like deep dish pizza. But if I had to eat pizza every day, I'm not getting deep dish pizza. Every

Unknown Speaker 28:12
Neapolitan song? Yeah, right, right. Well, I mean, obviously. If they're mad, or this, they're not from Chicago, like,

Lexi 28:22
so do you eat deep dish pizza all the time? Like, no, it's like, a once a quarter kind of thing. But it's good.

Scott Benner 28:28
I don't even know how you could eat a cheeseburger last night. And when I was done, I started thinking I might not eat for like three days. I just I don't know how to. I would not eat a deep dish pizza and then be hungry again. No, exactly. All right. Well, listen, let's dig in a little more here. Pretend your parents aren't listening. Help some kids out in college, right? Like and parents who are getting ready to send their kids off. It just becomes less important or because you're not paying attention to it like this, obviously, then you don't have a glucose monitor. So you're just you're on a pump. you're counting your carbs. Giving yourself food. Not testing that frequently. What's the like? Did you did you notice that you didn't feel well as your a once he started to go up? And then you got accustomed to it? Do you remember that by any chance? Yeah, I

Lexi 29:12
remember like my lows. If when I did check my number. If I felt low, it was only 80. So it wasn't even that low unless I was dropping really fast. And that's I mean, I there would be no way for me to know. But yeah, I just became accustomed to that weird feeling. And then in in jumping ahead now I kind of felt like I had like a gluten allergy last year. And then once my numbers got better, I got over that. So now I can eat it. And I'm I feel great. But yeah, it was just like this weird. Like, I just was always thirsty. And I just felt like I had a friend that was always thirsty too. So I was like, oh, we're just always just friends and we're always thirsty. I don't know. So it was just like a weird thing. I just became accustomed to just feeling like crap all the time. Okay

Scott Benner 29:58
and then he So I don't want to I'm just gonna say you get out of college. And you test your a one. See you said in your note for the first time in four years, and you tell people what it was. And did you tell your parents? I did not tell my parents I think at this point when asked me Well, yeah, let's do they know now or is this gonna be a big reveal for them? This might be a big reveal for them. So mom and dad, if you're driving, I'm looking at the number here. Let me just say to you, I'd pull over Okay, or do you know what although I'll put the ad here, and that'll give you time to stop your car.

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And what was your agency? Lexi? I don't even remember. 12.3 Yeah, it was not good. I remember looking like oh, shoot. Mom, if you're having chest pains right now just call 911. Don't even wait to see what happens next. Okay. But no, there's some good news coming. Don't worry. But that's really fascinating because you are a kid in middle school in high school who is in that in the low sixes most of the time, right? And then your a once he doubled in four years of college. hindsight did that impact your experience at college? The high one say, like your health in general, or do you not? Or would you just not know because you became accustomed to the feelings.

Lexi 34:34
I think I just didn't know because I was accustomed to the feeling. And I know that and my parents know this. I was drinking like I was in a sorority. I was the president of the sorority I like had all these things going on that diabetes are just way far back in my head. Like I knew I had it obviously I would Bolus you know whenever I had to and that was that was it like that was the extent of my care was just giving myself a shot of 10 units and calling it a day.

Scott Benner 34:58
Wow. You You were The president of alcohol basically, exactly did just a run for that position, or do they just see it in you and give it to you? How does that work? No, they picked me to be that person. Lexi, they looked at you and they were like, Huh. She can handle this. Yeah. lm sorry. Yeah, that's right. It's true. I said, to take a side bar for a second, when you're the president of a sorority, do you feel a pressure to like lead the charge in partying? Like, do you feel like you're like, setting the tone? I'm being serious?

Lexi 35:35
Yeah, I'm serious. Okay. So at that time, my school didn't have a lot of like restrictions and rules on Greek life in general. So when I became president, we also had to implement a risk management policy. So I think when I became president, I tried to tone our party down, down, because when we had to throw all these like risks and things people can sue you for, and this and that, and I was like, Alright, we're not gonna deal with this. We're gonna put this policy in place. Everyone's gonna follow the rules. And that's what we're gonna do. So there were a lot more things you could get in trouble for at a party. And I don't I don't I think people still had a good time, obviously, from what they've told me. I don't think they would tell me that they didn't. But yeah, at that time, I wasn't like, out leading the charge of, hey, let's go to this fraternity party tonight. And this one tomorrow, and this one on Sunday night. And actually, let's make it Sunday during the day because we have school Monday. No, that's not how it was.

Scott Benner 36:28
I just reached out to you on LinkedIn while you're talking because I want to see how your life progresses. And because that's interesting that you took kind of the opposite approach where you're like, well, let's tone this down a little bit. But still tone down partying at college is still it's still so somehow it gets you to a 12 a one c i guess Exactly. Yeah.

Lexi 36:48
I mean, you're drinking Margarita is it's not like I like to Cabernet back then. Or vodka sodas, or Baca waters.

Scott Benner 36:56
Do you think you got to be honest with yourself here? Because you have a glucose monitor now? Is that right? Yep. Okay, so do you think that if you had that in college, that it would have changed anything for you? Oh, I

Lexi 37:09
think so. Totally, because I thought it was just a hassle to check my blood sugars and my fingers. I told you were so bad that I was like, I don't want this anymore. But I didn't also know about glucose monitors. I had one when I was 18, I think right before I went to school, and it was like this giant clunky thing that nobody told me there were these little ones that just you know, like the duck, the ducks come now. It's just so tiny. And it's just sticks on my arm for 10 days. I don't even realize it's there. But if I knew that that existed, I think I would be okay wearing one as long as it was under my clothes.

Scott Benner 37:42
I see it. But do you think having the information would have changed your activities? Or do you think you would have just ignored it?

Lexi 37:50
I think I would have ignored it. I think just seeing it being able to see it on my phone. I could I would know like okay, there's I know that there's sugar in these drinks that I'm having, like, let me give myself more insulin, at least I think I don't know if it would have changed like, you know, Pre-Bolus thing or anything like that, because I was still self conscious of doing shots in front of people. But I think I would have been more aware of how much insulin I was giving myself or maybe trying to prevent Loeser. If I saw that I was high, I would give myself insulin because I was high

Scott Benner 38:20
because I've seen people that just turn the alarms off to like I'm always fascinated. Like, how did you get the 400 when you have a CGM, and they're like, Oh, my alarms at 400. Oh, yeah. So I just um, I wondered like, so you were reasonably. So you were more hamstrung by the social side of it than you were a of the the other part like you would have tested your blood sugar, but you didn't want somebody to see it.

Lexi 38:48
Yeah. And in high school I had even growing up I had friends that were diabetic. I had a few of them. So it was just so normalized everywhere. I went that I haven't met another diabetic since I was young, like I couldn't tell you any other diabetics that I met in college, even maybe one or two and like work settings, but not that I was close to them that I talked to them. But

Scott Benner 39:12
yeah, so somebody would have been helpful just to anybody really make you feel

Lexi 39:15
just a support system. And I think that's what it came down to was. I guess I thought no one was interested in learning about it. I was like, Okay, well, I'm not gonna tell anybody about it, because they don't care. And I think it just that's what it came down to.

Scott Benner 39:26
Yeah, it's interesting. It really I do find that fascinating that on one hand, you cared what people thought, but on the other hand, you didn't expect that they thought anything of you that they cared enough to know. Do you see what I'm saying? There's like a paradox, or somewhere. Yeah, people are weird. And that I mean, you because you were in college, and you were a kid and you were having these like, these two completely competing ideas, and somehow they both drove you in the same direction. That's fast. It really is fascinating. So you, obviously you graduated. You didn't die. That's excellent. Good job. Yeah. Your parents are like, I did not know that this was gonna be the Mendoza line. Like, look, she's still alive. Yeah. But okay, you got through it. And that's accent Do you have any issues from the four years?

Lexi 40:12
Not that I know of? I do. I don't know, I worry about it, you know, in the future more than I do, like whenever I start wanting to have kids and all of that, but right now, it's hasn't been anything that's affected me so far, thankfully, and you know, knock on wood that it still doesn't But yeah, I think helping having it controlled for 14 years before that probably was my life seems like just my savior in general.

Scott Benner 40:38
It's such an interesting thing. Like, is it cumulative or not? Like Jenny says it's not and at the state like, like, there's some damage that was done during those four years. Now. Can your body regenerate like that damage? Like, that's another question, right? Like, it's just right. But the good doesn't like it's not a it 10 years of good a one sees don't act as a shield for four years of bad ones, like the four years still do what they do. And then hopefully, you're young enough and got back to it fast enough. And you really did get back to it. And that's the part that we're going to talk about next is you get out of school, you did finally find an endo that you liked. How long what was that process like of trying to find that endocrinologist?

Lexi 41:16
Yeah, so there was this just back thing, this other thing in my head where I graduated from school, I was going to get a full time job. But I didn't want to get on the full time jobs insurance yet because it wasn't great. So I was still on my parents. But I knew that that was going to end soon. So I didn't want to find a new endo that I would have to change after I turned 26. Okay, does that make sense? So once I started a new job, my second job out of college, that insurance was awesome. So I found an endo, I found a bunch of doctors that I ended up really liking. And that endo, the first thing he said to me was like, hey, let's test your one. See, it's 8.8. And he was like, why aren't you on a pump? And I'm like, you're the first person in how many years now? That asked me that question. And I think that's when it really got me thinking. And he was like, oh, what do you want to do for your future? Where do you want to see yourself here when, you know, in five years, like, What do you want? And I'm like, Yeah, I mean, that's so true. Like, I can't just continue on like this, I'm going to die. So um, that's what really struck me with the pump. And that's what I got on it as fast as I could.

Scott Benner 42:16
It's interesting that if you probably had any kind of diabetes community in the years prior, that thought would have been put in front of you. And you probably would have had a similar reaction to it. Like Vegas, why am I not doing this? Like, you know, but listen, also, in fairness, brain growth, what do they say goes to like, 25? Right? Yeah. So I was right at my peak at 25. So it worked out. Well. We're finally a person, like a whole, like, legitimate person who can think and you know, because when you're 22, it's like, Where are you going? In five years, you're like, Listen, where I'm going is across the room to grab another Margarita. And hopefully, I get a job. And if I don't get a job, that'll be a problem for a different day. But right now, what I want is some drink. And I want to hang out with these girls and say silly stuff. And, you know, boys and etc, right? I mean, that's it, right? I mean, thumbs up. 18 to 22. Parents. Let's make a list right now. I'm gonna make 1234 I'm gonna go five. See if maybe six. Let's really shock parents. Were on your list of, of things you care about does actually doing your college work fall in your top five? Hmm, like what was important? Seriously, drinking was important, right?

Lexi 43:34
Yeah, social life was important life. Um, I don't know. For some reason. Sometimes I put my sorority work over my schoolwork. Okay. That's

Scott Benner 43:44
how you look. Like Like, like,

Lexi 43:48
my appearance. Yeah. going to the gym. Yeah, you throw that under your parents. Right. Go ahead. And then schoolwork. No, no, no, no, no,

Unknown Speaker 43:57
no job. Oh.

Scott Benner 43:59
So you were you were you had an in school job.

Lexi 44:02
I had like three jobs. And I was in college, at the gym at the Rec. I was a manager, like a student manager. And then I worked at a T shirt store so that my sorority to get discounts on printed t shirts.

Scott Benner 44:16
Your parents are in the middle of an actual stroke right now. If they're listening by the way. I'll ask them what will get them on the phone at some point and ask them what they paid for this degree. But, but Okay, so see, I'm being charged with drinking. Social Life sorority gym job that was for somebody else more than it was for you. Now we're down. Are we just schoolwork yet? Yeah, schoolwork. Yeah, there's no dating.

Lexi 44:43
I had a like a long term boyfriend in college that he went to a different school. I'm sure it wasn't really like much upkeep.

Scott Benner 44:50
I guess that was smart. Your dad worked that out. I imagine. Right? Right. Boy, nowhere near her that she feels connected to very smart dad. Good job. Okay, and now we're down to school. Now, once we're down to school, is it? Is it about doing a good job? Or is it about getting it done? and timelines? Yeah, a little bit of

Lexi 45:12
both. So I went into college wanting to study chemistry and biology. So I did two years of that before I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do. Well, I was not good at it. So I switched. So we switched to a management degree. And that was at that point, I had so much to catch up on that, it was a lot of just getting the work done. And then once I got into, like, my senior year classes, where they were more, I guess, real life aspect where I was working, like consulting for a company, a management consultant for a company or I was learning negotiation, I was learning, you know, this and that, like, that's when I started to really care about school was, I think, when I was a senior and those classes applied to me.

Scott Benner 45:55
Wow. Okay, so I'm now nauseous about how much money I spent for my son to go to college and everyone else listening who has younger children is in a panic. But do you think your life would have been different now as an adult? Had you gave the full effort from your senior year all four years?

Lexi 46:15
No, because I think in those three years, I learned a lot about myself. And even though my GPA wasn't amazing, yeah, my major GPA was awesome. But I also had those heavy college or like those heavy chemistry classes that weighed in my GPA was an awesome. No employer ever asked me that every thing that I took out of being a sorority, and being a manager, and like those life experiences actually helped me get a job versus, you know, that weight of a GPA, if that makes sense. Like, I felt that a guy gaining all that experience was more helpful for me than making sure that I had a 4.0

Scott Benner 46:51
Yeah, and I'm not judging, I'm really trying to understand like, like sincerely and you're doing a you're being very honest. And I appreciate that very much. Okay, so you get out of college, get through the whole insurance thing, you find a good endo, they put you on a pump, and things start to get better. Or, like, what do you do once you have that pump? Because it feels to me like you would have no idea what to do with it if you had it.

Lexi 47:15
You know, if that's so funny that you say that when I got my pump, I something like a flip switch. And I knew exactly what I was doing. I think I took everything that I knew from my parents, and I just applied it like, and then plus listening to the podcast really helped me I think I started listening to the podcast, either. Once I got the pump or maybe a few weeks before

Scott Benner 47:37
Aleksey, let's slow down. No, no, no, I mean, let's not skip over that the podcast was really helpful for you that's a little slower. Got a plug in. Also, by the way, you've just inverted two words while you were speaking. And so I do that. Yeah. You wanted to say a switch flipped. And you said a flip switch. I'm very close to making that the title Just so you know, wrote that down and circled it. So a flip switch.

Lexi 48:07
Yeah, switched in my head. And I just knew everything but I was supposed to do

Unknown Speaker 48:13
a crazy

Scott Benner 48:15
Lexie for clarity. You know, it's a switch flipped, right? Is it colloquial? I mean, maybe like in a different part of the country. Oh, God, we got to Google Now. Hold on a second. Hold on, because it's a switch flipped is the same. But then again, my my father, I flipped a switch. You said you said a flip switched? Oh, I think I'm probably the first What you said was right. I do this a lot. My father in law says six of one dozen of the other and it's half a dozen of the other is the saying which you know, I'm just like, he's like in his 70s like your whole life. Like it. No one's ever looked at you when you're saying that wrong. ever wants

Lexi 48:57
one of those. So sophomore year I lived in my first apartment. You know, the Swiffer mops. Sure. I called it a swifter for a year and none of my roommates told me until we all moved out and they were like, hey, by the way, you can sing swifter instead of Swiffer.

Scott Benner 49:12
weed. It's not swifter. It is sir. Swiffer Yeah, I didn't know that either. Yeah, I don't know that it matters that I didn't know that but you just blew my mind.

Unknown Speaker 49:23
I thought it was something new every day

Scott Benner 49:25
cuz you clean the floor more swiftly with That's what I thought. That's what made sense. But it's a Swiffer. Oh, yeah. I'm together with the on that. Swiffer. Huh? Yep. Hey, Swiffer. Reach out if you wanna buy some mats. Okay, so can you imagine we just clarified a whole bunch of people? Like a couple weeks from now Mike. So the Swiffer mop. Why'd you get none of that money if that works out Lexi Just so you know, you have no no click for me on that. is an awkward conversation. So you get that. So is it just learning the pump? Or did you like what did you do? It sounds to me like in your note like you, you really put a lot of things in order at that point.

Lexi 50:12
Yeah, I yeah, I implemented everything started Pre-Bolus thing started looking up. I didn't we didn't have that extend or like the Temp Basal is on the Medtronic and there's reasons why I switched. But just being able I think, really what you mentioned before just being able to see my blood sugar's I think helped me tremendously.

Scott Benner 50:34
Okay, and you change some of your food choices. Is that true?

Lexi 50:38
Yeah. So yes, that's when I was telling you like, I had that weird gluten allergy. And I think that was just because my blood sugar's were just so bad. And I started really losing a lot of weight. And I think, again, that was that whole conversation with the doctor when he was like, you're not healthy. And that's when you switch to the pump. But um, yeah, I

Scott Benner 50:59
sorry, forgot the question. Did you change like the clothes?

Lexi 51:02
Yeah, so I started, I stopped eating gluten, I started eating like more rice. Not that often just for dinner. But I'd have like a lot of salads, I had a much better diet than not that I eat poorly before. But I definitely incorporated more bread and more pasta. So I took a lot of that out. And that really helps study my blood sugar's check out

Scott Benner 51:21
some of the higher glycemic stuff. You know, like, I never really talked about this too much. Because at the core of this podcast, the goal really is that you understand how to use insulin, and then you apply it to your life. Any way that you see fit, like, I'm not here to tell people how to eat, you know, at the same time, I'm always astounded by, you know, what's happening to me right now. I'm helping somebody, you know, privately, and they're like, I don't understand what's going on. And I finally was like, Look, I'm not your mom here. But could you try it? And one thing that's not horrible a day, you don't even like, like you have you have the worst diet? And they're like, No, we don't know. It's like, No, you do like, really look at it, you know, and, and so, I want you to be able to eat a pop tart and Bolus for or a bowl of Cheerios and Bolus for because I don't think that I don't think that wanting a bowl of Cheerios should mean that you're destined to have a 300 blood sugar for nine hours. Yeah, but make it easy on yourself once in a while. You don't even like like cut yourself a break. It's, it's it's just the case, you eat a little healthier, less processed food, you know, less glycemic load. It's going to be easier. You know, like, it just it really is. And again, I'm not. I'm no one to talk, and I'm not. But you know, you can't, you can't, you can't jump online and be like, I don't understand what happened. Look at my blood sugars. They've been high for three days, all I did was have Chinese food, and we had pizza the next day. And then we had this and I don't understand what's wrong, like, oh, you're not good at using your insulin and you're eating the harshest foods on your system. That's, that's, that's what's wrong. You know, like, it's not it isn't brain surgery. So you figured it out. And and you really like, like, pulled yourself like into a new way of thinking honestly. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Good for you. I want to jump ahead from so that email that you sent me initially was the end of 2019. Like, I think around this probably around this time a year ago. And then, about four or five months later, you just send me a very excited email. Yeah, like a like, you're very excited. Like, it's one of the I get these a lot and they're lovely. But they are like, when I read them. I'm like, I don't know this person. And it's just No.

Unknown Speaker 53:43
I think I put in that email, like, I just have to, I feel like I have to tell you, because you have done so much for me without really knowing it, but also kind of knowing it. Oh, I

Scott Benner 53:52
love it. Like, don't get me wrong. It's um, it's amazing. And I love every one of them. And no one should stop sending them I absolutely love. But it's funny when you're reading them. Like, there's this part of me that's like, it's so odd that you're sharing it with me, but obviously, it's not like you, you know, like, it would be like if I just found somebody on Facebook that I didn't know. And I've sent them a private note. And I was like, let me tell you the things that are going right with my life right now. It's not apples to apples, but it feels that way, sometimes to me. So anyway, first you do By the way, this is great. I was just talking about this with someone last night. People who contact me and then contact me a second time. I think they believe that we're friends now. So they just pick the conversation up where they left off as if I've been waiting patiently to hear back from them. And I'm always like, I don't know who you are. And I'm trying to figure it out with like, I'm trying to be polite. And I'm like, I don't know, I just don't you right away. I emailed you back in October, boom, right there. I like that. Thank you. Now I can't go back and look again if I need to. But you said I have. I have some updates. You're like oh my gosh. I have this feeling that I need to tell you what's going on with my diabetes because without really knowing it, but I guess also knowing you've taught me so much and and seriously, you had an agency in July of 8.8. Which which in this note, you're saying is just better than you've had in years. You said you became obsessed with improvement. You got on a Medtronic pump for over three months a once you went to seven six, you said you were a static, you switch from the Medtronic to the Omni pod in December. And no appointment last week a once he was 5.8. And then you wrote out five freaking point eight, which by the way, a lot of people do now. I love it. It's great. What made you switch pumps.

Lexi 55:38
That CGM on Medtronic is just trash I. I wish it was better. And I thought the whole idea of what they tried to do the whole looping system with that was like I thought it was a great idea. And that's what made me go for it and being animatronic when I was younger, I was like, Okay, I'm I, I'm going to rely on this. But I had so many lows that said I was high. So I don't know my numbers were just so wacky all the time. And then I just was going to try to get off the Medtronic CGM and use the Dexcom with the Medtronic pump. But I am I'm address where I like I there's no way for me to clip those pumps. So I, I ended up switching to Omni pod and they had this like, it was like a miracle. They had this, this promotion going on where they would pay out whatever pump you were on your contract so that you could switch to Omnipod. So that's what ended up happening for me. And it was like a blessing.

Scott Benner 56:35
Do you think that hurts when you're the other company and you get a check from another pump company? It's like, it's like they do that with cell phones. You know that?

Lexi 56:42
Yeah. Imagine? Yeah, you go to at&t telling. So Medtronic gives you somebody like a rep that you can text if you have some sort of problem. And I was telling this lady, I was like, I don't know, I'm looking at Omnipod. Like, unless you can try and help me here. She never would never respond. And then I texted her and I was like, hey, just so you know, I switched to Omnipod. I'm no longer a part of Medtronic. And she responded right away. And I was like, I mean, if you responded to me, like basic customer service, and if you would have responded to me months ago, we wouldn't be having this problem. So

Scott Benner 57:13
maybe she was thinking, Oh, I would switch to if I was you.

Lexi 57:17
She also told me she used to be an Omnipod rep and then went to Medtronic. So I don't know. She's probably like, yeah, good job.

Scott Benner 57:24
Yeah, I can't tell you to do that. So I'm not gonna respond back to you. But you know, Oh, that's interesting. Well, listen, first of all, at this point, like 10 of these episodes should be called sorry, Medtronic, but I don't I don't pre screen these people. Okay, just so you know, I don't know what they're gonna say. But I do hear from a lot of people that they don't like your CGM. That's for sure. So I want you to talk about that for a second. Like, what's it like sitting in the office? removed maybe a year or two from not even probably from a 12? A one C and you're in the fives. And by the way, in the fives without lows? Right?

Lexi 58:00
Yeah, I wasn't under 60. Something. I was like, 16. Maybe in that time.

Scott Benner 58:06
Excellent. What does it feel like to have that to get that news?

Lexi 58:09
Well, I was sitting there. And my endo showed me this piece of paper. It was like a receipt. You know, he was like, Hey, your agency's 5.8. And I was like, I mean, my jaw just immediately dropped. I was like, What? Are you sure it's not 6.8? Did you read like, read it wrong. He was like, No, 5.8. And I was like, Oh, my God, like, in my head. I'm like, this is amazing. I can't wait to like, call my family and tell them this and this and that. And then the guy's like, well, I like it, but I don't love it. And I was like, What? And he's like, I just I'm worried that you're having too many lows. I'd rather see it at six. And I was like, okay, and I'm sitting there like, I just like had this major accomplishment. Like, did you see my agency the last three months, like three months ago when I was here. I mean, I was baffled that Pisa had said that. And so he changed some settings on my on my pump and I just want the second I left in my Uber back to work. I changed them back.

Scott Benner 59:04
Oh, doctors, you have to listen, if somebody is listening to the podcast, you change their pump in the office. They're just gonna change it back when they walk outside. Yeah, especially if it's working. Well, well, I'm most interested by the idea that like 5.8 to six apparently is a big leap and the doctors like oh, no, this is dangerous. Go up point two.

Lexi 59:25
Yeah, I know. Silly. Like, okay, like, Well, my goal is to be like 5.5 Next, so I don't know what Yeah, what this conversation is gonna look like Next I have to

Scott Benner 59:34
tell you that. I consider that the last three months of Arden's diabetes care have been like so so in my mind, and hurry once he was five, eight, like like, I'm not I'm not like you're five, eight like it's amazing. And by the way, I was thrilled when Arden got a five eight, but a five eight. Like as we were leading up to the a one c i was like, Yeah, because of this, like the COVID lockdown and everything I was like, Yes, I've been funky. And we haven't gotten ahead of as many meals as I wanted to. So I've been kind of corrected more on the back end. I know this isn't going to be what I'm hoping for. And it went up. I think hers went from like, five, six to five, eight. And yeah, yeah, but I think that also, I'm sorry, God,

Lexi 1:00:15
oh, yeah, I had an appointment with my endo in June. And I had a five, nine. And even he, and then he like, completely flipped the switch. And that's another conversation. But so I was a five, nine, and I thought the same thing. Like, during COVID, I lost my job, I went back to my parents house living at my parents house, I mean, all these stressors, and I did not think it was still gonna maintain the same that I had, which you did.

Scott Benner 1:00:39
That's amazing. Well, that was gonna be my point, actually, thank you for saying it is that I think that after you listen to the podcast long enough, it just happens. After a while you do the things that you do those things lead to an agency in the fives. That's it. That just unless the things you do lead to an agency in the sixes, wherever you find your comfort zone, you don't I mean, I think you just start repeating those things. And they just pay off over and over again, in the same way.

Lexi 1:01:07
Yeah, and I think I when I had that five, eight, a one C, I went in knowing my agency was going to be good, just not that good. And that was because I changed all these things. And I was very aware of what I was changing. And now it's so I'm so accustomed to it, that when I go in then like, it's probably gonna be that great. I haven't done anything new. And it's the same, like Oh, actually, I've just been still doing the same things that I changed I just now in my daily routine.

Scott Benner 1:01:32
Yep, that's it. It just becomes commonplace and it happens. So actually, did you get Have you pieced together that you're the reason juice box Doc's calm exists?

Lexi 1:01:45
I have actually when I was reading through my messages to you, I was like, Oh, yeah, I reached out about asking you about a new endo.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:51
That are podcast friendly.

Scott Benner 1:01:53
Yep. You you email me in April and said, Hey, I'm looking for an endo in like the Chicagoland area. And and that would be, you know, friendly. The podcast, I was like I can find out for so I went online, I asked, and it was quick, how quickly somebody came back was like, oh, try this one, or this one. And I screencap that, and I sent it to you, and that was sort of it. But I was like, it was your initial? Your initial email is like, do you know somebody? And I said, I don't, but I would like to build a list of them. And, and I and I remember telling you like how this has given me something to think about. And then I was like, I know what I could do. Like, instead of like, This always happens. Like somebody asks, I go into the community, I asked for them, I send it back. I'm like, why are we not building a list of these people? like that just makes sense. So Alexei, you are the founder of the feast. As far as juicebox. Doc's calm goes. So thank you very much, because it's it is actually growing and building. And it's fascinating to see that people are very careful about the doctors they send into like, I don't, they don't willy nilly. It's not like, Oh, this guy's fine. Like, it's people have to have really great experiences, then they're willing to share the doctor. It's really cool.

Lexi 1:02:58
Yeah, thank you. I went to go put in my, my pediatric endo, but he's no longer in practice, which is sad. But I was I once you said that on the podcast one day, I was like, Oh, I can't go put in Dr. Duck. And then I noticed he wasn't in fact us anymore. And I was sad. But yeah, I'm glad that that was helpful for everybody. For me,

Scott Benner 1:03:17
you did it like you, you made me I was like, why am I not doing this? Like, why am I not like making this a more like, you know, concrete place that people go instead of just asking me, and then me reaching into a group of people and doing like, Hey, who knows somebody? And then you got to go find out if it's right or not. And it just seemed like I was like, Huh, I have a, you know, I have a popular like place online. Like, why don't I just put the list there. So anyway, I thought that was really cool. Like, so much good stuff comes from, from interactions like the one you and I had. So I wanted I wanted to thank you, because I know you're basically trying to thank me so I'm, I'm, I'm thanking you instead. Because I'll get ya when I'll get uncomfortable. Like, at some point, you'll be like, Hey, I just want to really thank you and I'm gonna go like, Oh, it's okay. Like, no problem. So I'm gonna do like a big deal out of it. All right, you're making me feel weird. But that's really something now you realize that. I'm gonna ask you more questions about the fish and the boyfriend. So when you you live together with a guy and then you lose your job. So you go back with your parents. Did they take in the boyfriend?

Lexi 1:04:26
No, no. So we didn't live together yet. And I was furloughed. I wasn't I didn't lose my job. But actually, it was kind of just another blessing in disguise where I was I was so unhappy at that job that I was like, Hey, I guess this is kind of a good kicker for me to start looking for new jobs anyway. So I do have a new job that I recently started a couple months ago, which is exciting. Thank you. Yeah. So we both went to work. So okay, our me so my boyfriend is john Carlo and we both We both are very similar. So me Our parents, both of our parents were born in Italy. They came here were friends before we met. And then me and john met through mutual friends in college, and then just started dating a few years ago. My parents know each other. Yeah. Which is super cool. But our minds are very similar where they were both like, Okay, well, cities on lockdown, you better come home and you better stay here for six weeks.

Scott Benner 1:05:24
That's it. So he had to go home. You had to go home. Yeah, by the fish were left here. He came back and grab them. But yeah. Do you think the kids will be Catholic? I'm just kidding. Of course, they will be there. Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking it's absolutely going to happen. Do you think they'll have dark hair? dark hair, dark eyes? olive skin? Yeah, that's exactly what you think they'll just walk outside for 10 minutes and have the greatest tan ever. And that'll be that. Yeah, yeah. Except for by the way. I dated Italian girl in high school. She got the most amazing tan, but her sister was pale. Like translucent. Honestly, like you could see veins under her skin. And she never could take on like, it didn't matter if you put her in the sun. She She wouldn't get darker. I was always fascinated by that.

Lexi 1:06:11
That's so interesting. I am typically paler. You said you saw my LinkedIn. Did you actually go to my LinkedIn? Yeah. What do you think? Okay, so my picture is like, very, I'm very pale in that picture. That's what I look like, eight months out of the year. And then in the summertime, I am dark. And then it just goes away.

Scott Benner 1:06:28
Yeah, you're very Google oval. Right? It's, it's probably because of how people have to get jobs now and do things. But I do have a question about that. What was it like applying for and getting a job during Coronavirus?

Lexi 1:06:45
It wasn't very stressful. I'll be honest with you. Because I didn't work. Part of the reason I didn't want to leave my old job was because it had great health insurance. So I wanted to find similar health insurance somewhere else. So a lot of it was just like being very nitpicky about which jobs I wanted. Because there was a point where you're like you're either desperate or to like that you need a job, or you know, you can be picky and find which one and luckily, I could be picky just because my boyfriend had a job, he has a good job that could support him. And my old job was still covering health benefits up until the end of July. So I really used that time to do a lot of research. But I did I interviewed virtually, I still haven't gone to the office. We're virtual throughout the rest of the year, and maybe even into the spring. So it's interesting. And as a recruiter, I'm constantly telling people about our work culture. And like, honestly, I haven't been announced this yet. So

Scott Benner 1:07:42
but but I mean, so wait, so you do it normally, right? You just you send out resumes, they contact you. And then you just do video chats with like massive amounts of people. Like my wife goes into interviews. And she's gone for a whole day. And when she comes out at the end of the day, she looks like somebody had been shooting at her for the last six hours. And she's just been running from it. Did you do you go from like zoom to zoom to zoom talking to people? Or how does that all work?

Lexi 1:08:09
Yeah, there was one day I had three different zoom interviews with three different companies. Excuse me, and each one of them were an hour and a half. At the end of the day, I came out of our like office bedroom, and I was like, I need a nap. It's just a lot of brainpower. But this is my job. Now my interview was three and a half hours long.

Scott Benner 1:08:31
Okay, resume. And what about onboarding? Does it all happen over video?

Lexi 1:08:36
Yeah, every I mean, everything is over video. Our team meetings or video are like one on one conversations or video. I have a performance review later on today. That's one on one over video. So it's kind of crazy.

Scott Benner 1:08:50
Is there an office that you may go to again, one day?

Lexi 1:08:54
Yep, it's actually it's a mile from my apartment. So it's not too far away. I can walk whenever we can go there. It's a really cool office, from what I've heard. But yeah, hopefully, we have about 25% of the office there. And it's the people that absolutely need to be there. And then everyone else's work from home.

Scott Benner 1:09:09
What's the like, everybody's had a new job as an adult knows that, like you get there. And it's not like, it's not like in the first day someone explains your job to you completely, and you just understand it, right? And part of it is meeting people bumping into them asking questions, like, you know what I mean? Like, like literally leaning on a water cooler and being like, hey, real quick, Marcy. She's crazy, right? And then, you know, somebody looks at you with a wink back. Like I should stay away from Marcy, you make a sticky note for yourself. Like that kind of stuff. How does none of that happen like this? Is it just a whole new world?

Lexi 1:09:42
It's a little lonely. I'll be honest. There's meetings that I've just set for myself just to get to know my team like one on ones and luckily, we can go and sit out on a patio in Chicago and eat outdoors. So I've grabbed dinner with a couple of people on my team and that's been really great. But yeah, I don't know anyone outside of six members of my team,

Scott Benner 1:10:01
then you are recruiting to so now this is your job to find other people and do this to them.

Lexi 1:10:07
Yeah. Yeah, it's so it's a little bit it's a definitely a learning curve at that point. But also, I have this weird advantage from everyone else on my team that I can tell people how comfortable I was interviewing virtually and also accepting a job remotely or you know, to be remote. So it's been it's working in my favor so far.

Scott Benner 1:10:28
Yeah, that's pretty cool. It really I mean, it's just feels like a completely different world. But it's hitting you right, as you're graduating. I mean, so it's your second job, right?

Lexi 1:10:35
This is my third job. So I was at my first job for three years. And then my second job for two years, and this is my

Scott Benner 1:10:40
third shift. Okay, so this is not, it's not like you're an experienced, you do understand the process. And it is really different. Yeah, it's

Lexi 1:10:47
very different. And I'd say I probably had less technical issues starting remotely than I have starting in person, which is crazy to think about. But I mean, I think it's just shows like, at that point, you have to be adaptable. And you have to onboard all these people that you really, there's no room for error.

Scott Benner 1:11:03
Yeah, I just passed an hour ago, I passed Arden in my bedroom, because her rooms being like, fixed. So like she's not in there today. So she's in my bedroom, going to school. And I went into my bedroom to grab some stuff. And I came out to come do this. And she's putting on sneakers. I'm like, Why are you putting on sneaker shoes? I have gym next. And I was like, why? Excuse? Yeah, we're gonna get up and do exercises. I'm like, in front of the camera. And she goes, Yeah, I said one at a time, or is a group She goes, I don't know, this is my first class. I was like, gotcha. Oh, interesting. But I don't think that's gonna be a valuable way to exercise.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:39
No. need that does not

Scott Benner 1:11:43
seem reasonable. And she want to set up a follow up on how that goes, I'm sorry. I trust me, I'm going to because it felt like a waste of time while she was explaining it to me. And then, you know, she muted the muted herself. And we're talking and she's like, they probably think I'm having a stroke. She's like, I'm just, they can't hear me and I'm My head's moving around, and my mouth is going but you know, and and she's telling me about, like, the day so far. And she's just like, I don't she's like, I don't know what we're doing. I don't think any of this makes any sense. And I was like, Yeah, I don't know, either kid. I was like, you know, but here we are. So good luck. I hope you'll learn something. Fake it till you make it again. I don't think they're gonna learn that. I actually am starting to believe they weren't learning that much in school either. Right? Especially when you see it now it like literally in your kitchen. Sometimes. Yeah, I'm listening. And I was like, this was it. Like, this is what they were being told, like, maybe I should have just kept her home. homeschooler and like, got her a bunch of good YouTube videos, but like your watch, that'll explain the math thing, and then just do a couple of until you understand it will be good. Anyway, well, I really appreciate you doing this. Lexi, is there anything we didn't get to that you were hoping to talk about?

Lexi 1:13:00
No, I think we covered everything. Um, not that I like prepared anything, but just thinking of topics that you know, you feel good about it? Yeah, I feel good. Yeah, I can do too.

Scott Benner 1:13:11
I feel great about it. And in the last couple of minutes, I found a Twitter account that I don't think you use anymore. And I'm seeing I'm seeing some of your retweets from college or from you know, from a couple of years ago. And I think we could have been friends at some point I really do. In another life, if I'd have been born in a different time. I definitely think I would have enjoyed knowing a person who would retweet a tweet that said, raise your peacock if you are Whoa. You know, that's your last retweet. That was um, oh my god. And there's such a weird story behind that. And I'm not getting into it, but I'm not getting into that. I'm gonna spend all day wondering what peacock is. And this is terminology. That's all. Yeah, I'm not gonna say I don't even I can't even remember. I know you can remember you just tell me it's fine. I like soil. You remember, but I don't know if it's right. It's either your hand or your ass. I'm trying to figure out which one it is. So I'm not sure that I may be wrong. Also looks like he got screwed over by American Airlines a couple of years ago while traveling to Vegas. Yep. People should not use Twitter. I don't know if they're aware of it or not when they're doing it, but it's not a great idea.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:34
I'm deleting this account it's not even an app on my phone anymore. I okay, Google myself now and figure out what's out there.

Scott Benner 1:14:44
Well, just so I can I mean, we can't call the episode Lexi's the peacock and Whoa, that isn't good or bad at all. You don't you don't you think this might be worse for your mom than the Margarita is and the 12 a one say

Unknown Speaker 1:15:01
This one I don't even know.

Scott Benner 1:15:02
Yeah. Did this conversation make you rethink having children of your own one day?

Lexi 1:15:07
Oh, totally every day it does now that like, however I grew up, I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:15:13
There's a peacock in your banner image. Yeah, so it's my, my sorority mascot was a peacock. Oh, yeah, there's

Unknown Speaker 1:15:22
some underlying story behind my sorority that must have prompted that. I think we should all be getting to know this Maria girl too, just in case.

Scott Benner 1:15:34
I really do appreciate you doing this. I genuinely do. And I appreciate knowing, you know, to be serious at the end. Because, you know, listen, seriously. That that the podcast was valuable for you is is really exciting for me. And I'm thrilled for what you've accomplished. I don't see why you couldn't continue to do this, you know, ad nauseum forever and ever. Now that you've got the tools, right? You just you just use them right moments. And that's that. It's really, definitely I think you'll go to the I

Lexi 1:16:02
mean, I'm grateful for the podcast, even I remember, at my old job, we said, there was somebody who, like, reached out to a bunch of people and was like, my daughter's diabetic. I'm interested if there's anyone else that was, you know, that's diabetic, and I did send them the podcast link. I was like, this has been such a great tool for me. So I you know, use this however you can. And unfortunately, after I was furloughed, I haven't talked to that person. But I hope that they definitely were able to start listening because I mean, it changed my life.

Scott Benner 1:16:29
That's wonderful to hear. It really is. I'm thrilled for you. And I appreciate you sharing it with other people. So thank you very much. Yeah. Cool. All right. Listen, I'm going to stop the recording for a second just in case you do remember what the peacocking thing was, and you want to tell me privately? Hold on. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue, glucagon, find out more about chivo hypo pan at G Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, you spell that GVOKEGL. You see ag o n.com. forward slash juicebox. also want to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for being a sponsor on the show. And for making such an amazing meter. Please check it out at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox. Don't just take whatever meter someone gave you. Use a good one. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of the Juicebox Podcast. As a matter of fact, the next episode is a variable diabetes variable episode with Jenny and it's going to embarrass her. So if you want to hear Jenny get embarrassed a little bit. You definitely don't want to miss the next episode. She's such a delightful person. What do you guys love Jenny who doesn't love Jenny? Everybody loves Jenny. If somebody doesn't love Jenny, you come see me. Please, no one show up at my house.


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