#1368 All Kinds of Diabetes
Gestational, LADA, Type 2; you name it and this episode has it.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox podcast.
Gonna talk to Brittany today. 30 years old, diagnosed with LADA in 2022 she's also got a mother with diabetes. There's a lot going on here in this little I don't want to explain all this to explain all this to you. Looks like I got some denial, some gestational you're gonna like it. Just jump right in. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink, AG, one.com/juice, box. Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident? If you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d, exchange.org/juice box and take the survey. That's it. Just do that, please. Okay, let's a little more music, and then we'll get right in. We'll get right into
it. This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 that's a CGM that lasts a full year, ever since cgm.com/juice cgm.com/juice, box. One year one CGM, this episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by us. Med, us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get your supplies the same way we do from us. Med. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, G VO, hypo pen. Find out more at G VO, glucagon, com, forward slash juice box.
Brittany 2:12
My name is Britney. I'm from British Columbia, Canada, and I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, or ladder, if you will, in 2022
Scott Benner 2:22
2022 with LADA? Did they tell you Lada that day? No, what they tell you,
Brittany 2:29
I actually had gestational diabetes with my second pregnancy, and then 18 months I had all the classic symptoms. I kind of let it get a little far.
Scott Benner 2:41
You were ignoring it. Yeah,
Brittany 2:44
was it something denial? I think I knew so. Like, my mom has had diabetes for a long time, like since I was two.
Scott Benner 2:54
What Brittany your mom has? I'm sorry, Your mom has type one.
Brittany 2:59
Well, she was diagnosed with type two two years after I was born. When I was diagnosed, I was kind of like she had always really struggled with her management to the point where, like, they wanted to commit her to, like a psych word, because she just gave up at one point, like she burned out so hard, because nothing she was doing was working, and she was so frustrated. And that was, like, a huge thing in our family. I was just like, my mom's diabetes was like, out of control a lot of the times, and so when I got diagnosed, I was like, you know, something isn't right here, because, you know, knowing that my mom had diabetes, I kind of tried to do everything in my lifestyle to avoid, even when they told me I had gestational diabetes, I was like, in a grocery store, my husband and I, we were checking out, and on my midwife phone, and she was like, yeah, like, you know, have the results of your gestational diabetes test, and you know, you know, you have gestational diabetes. And I started sobbing, okay? My husband was like, What is going on? You know, uncontrollably
Scott Benner 4:04
right there in the Tim Hortons. You
Brittany 4:05
were just, it was in the grocery store. Yeah, we were checking out in checkout line. I just lost it. Like, what's
Scott Benner 4:11
that grocery store called? Is it a chain? It was, it
Brittany 4:15
was called a, it's a called wholesale. It's like, I think it's a Canadian it's like, a smaller Costco, type of deal
Scott Benner 4:21
smaller.
Brittany 4:22
They have, like, bulk items and
Scott Benner 4:25
everything. That's a good way to describe Canada, a smaller Costco, smaller, yeah, everything on a smaller scale. So your mom, so let's go back for a second. Your mom has type two diagnosed after you're, like, about two years old, and she struggles with type two diabetes so greatly. What about 36 years ago? Something like that.
Brittany 4:47
I'm 30 so I'm sorry. So 28 years I guess. Where did
Scott Benner 4:51
I get 38 from that? We'll never know. So, so for for a quarter of a century, your mom's had type two diabetes, and she struggled with its. So hard that she burned out so much. They they wanted to institutionalize her. Yeah,
Brittany 5:05
so she told me, like, she just got so fed up that she's like, I'm not even taking my meds. Like she was on, you know, obviously all the oral stuff and then insulin and everything like that. And she was just like, I'm not taking into this anymore, like it's not working. And, you know, I think they just assumed, like, well, you're not doing it right, and, you know?
Scott Benner 5:25
And so that back and forth, can I ask you a question? Is your mom's stability in question? Now that her type two diabetes is okay,
Brittany 5:33
so she actually has, she has type one. Oh, so what? But, like, it's kind of a hard timeline. So, like, it's not, but it's like, you know, diabetes. I was diagnosed in 2022 but like, you know, and when I was a kid, when, like, my mom was diagnosed, she struggled. I struggled because I was, like, holy, like this, you know, diabetes sucks. Like, I don't want to end up like my mom and like, have this massive struggle with my health, like, I'm gonna, you know, to the extreme, take really good care of my body, watch what I eat, you know.
Scott Benner 6:11
And how long did your mom live? Misdiagnosed
Brittany 6:14
that entire time. So until 2022 Wait, what
Scott Benner 6:18
the Are you serious? That's not is that I don't listen. Wouldn't she be dead? I don't understand any of this. Hold on a second. She's
Brittany 6:26
gotten close. You know what? I mean, like, I don't So,
Scott Benner 6:29
so what oral meds did they have her on?
Brittany 6:32
I know Metformin for sure. Like, I don't know too much. Like, honestly, it's just one of those things where, like, I don't really know the details entirely. Like, I know Metformin was one of them for a long, long time, or is she even up into the point where they re diagnosed her at my clinic that I started going to, you know, she was still on Metformin, and then I think she was on something else. I don't remember the name. If
Scott Benner 6:58
you take insulin or so final ureas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G, VO, kypo pen. My daughter carries GE, voc, hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that, I trust low blood sugar. Emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store jivo kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use GVO kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in ardent diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulin OMA, visit, gevoic, glucagon, com slash, risk for safety information. So this doesn't make a ton of sense to me, because if I took you right now off of your insulin and gave you Metformin, what do you think he'd be dead in a week or two.
Brittany 8:19
Yeah, but she was on insulin as well. Ah, Brittany.
Scott Benner 8:23
Brittany, I need the whole story. Okay, all right, so you're like,
Brittany 8:28
a gradual like, and the way shakes made it to me, because a lot of it, I kind of have, like, walked out of my memory because it was so bad, like, really, yeah, yeah. She's been through a lot,
Scott Benner 8:39
okay, and it was hard on you as a child as well. Yeah,
Brittany 8:42
yeah, she and, like, now even, like, she has gastroparesis and, yeah, neuropathy, she has, like, the, you know, laundry list of all that kind of stuff. What?
Scott Benner 8:53
What province don't I want to live in? What'd you say
Brittany 8:57
it was Ontario? I grew up in Ontario.
Scott Benner 9:00
Oh, my God. They don't even give you guys a hockey team. They know
Brittany 9:05
they have it. The maple eases Ontario. That's Toronto.
Scott Benner 9:08
I know Ontario is the bigger picture, but you know, Toronto Canada,
Brittany 9:13
that's what they think of as Toronto. Toronto is Canada.
Scott Benner 9:16
Toronto is Canada. I think of it as the Yukon just so, okay, I don't even know what to say. That's not a Canadian thing. I've heard people from America and other places around the world have similar situations. So yeah, they told her she was type two, gave her metformin and and then said, Oh, you're really insulin. You're really resistant. Here's some insulin. Yeah, and so, but she's living as a type two with type one diabetes as an insulin insulin dependent type two and is it your diagnosis that helps her figure out she doesn't have type two diabetes? Yeah,
Brittany 9:51
so at the point of my diagnosis, which was 18 months after I had given birth to my son, you know? And. The crazy thing for me is, like, I went from like, my first pregnancy was totally fine, postpartum with that, I was totally fine, and then, like, bam, the second I got pregnant with my second child, I had gestational diabetes. But not only that, I was they put me on insulin when I was gestational like, it was to the point where, like, you know, normally you can just manage with diet and exercise enough, but they told me, and so that's what I tried desperately. Like, I was like, you know, talking to the endocrinologist during my pregnancy, like, often, because I was like, Hey, I'm trying. I'm trying to have a snack here, because my fasting blood sugars were the issue, yeah, during pregnancy, and I would get up at like midnight to eat a snack, because that's what they suggested. And, you know, I was trying everything with cynics, and they're just like, You know what? We're sorry, but like, you have to go on insulin, and that's just how it is. And, like, I was devastated, but they were like, insulin is a tool, like, you know, and obviously, you know, but I'm they don't understand my background, you know, like with my what I've seen my mom go through, and why being insulin independent was so right, yeah,
Scott Benner 11:11
did you feel like, oh my god, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have her existence now? Or did you think I tried so hard and it still didn't work out for me?
Brittany 11:20
I think both, both, yeah, both of those things I didn't understand. Because I was just like, You know what I mean? Like I said, I've lived a lifestyle with the literal whole purpose of not getting diabetes or having to worry about it at all on any level. So, you know, then I had my son, and I was like, okay, bam. And wipe my hands of this throughout all my stuff, my meter, my pens, I was just like, like, this is I'm good now. Like, because, you know, that's what everybody says, right? You got gestational like, there is a chance that you can develop it later on. But like, everyone was like, you know, you're healthy and active and like, Hey, you're good to go now, you know, like, so I was like, perfect. I'm done with this. I never have any other kids. Like, I don't want to deal with that ever again.
Scott Benner 12:05
And then, yeah, did that experience that you have two kids? So when you had your decide, I mean, did you decide to have a second kid, or did it happen?
Brittany 12:14
We wanted to, yeah, okay, okay,
Scott Benner 12:17
so when you're making that decision, do you think yourself, I'm gonna need to use insulin again, probably during that time.
Brittany 12:22
Well, so I didn't have it with my first. I only had it with my
Scott Benner 12:25
second. Sorry, yeah, okay, okay,
Brittany 12:29
I apologize. I definitely, like I said, we don't really want a third. We have a pretty busy lifestyle, and our two boys are enough, and they're busy too. So, but the also, like, even if I did have that sort of, like, Oh, really nice, there's no way I just was too much for me.
Scott Benner 12:49
Is your mom doing better now? Like, management wise, day to day, she told me that her ANC is, like, the best it's been in like, a decade or more. Do you know what that means? Like,
Brittany 13:00
I don't know, six or seven, then like, oh, wow, good for her.
Scott Benner 13:07
I've just, you know, for everyone, she was always in the twelves, and now it's in the nines, and she's like, it's the best it's ever been. Even,
Brittany 13:13
no, yeah, no, I think when she told me, I believe it was six or seven, and I was even, I was like, What do you still have struggles? I think it's hard for her to learn the new concept of like, I tried to explain to her, like, insulin to car ratio and correction factor. Then, like, I feel like, and like, how to treat a low. Because sometimes she's like, Oh, I'm gonna eat some chocolate. And I'm like, You can't do that. Like, you know, you know you shouldn't do that. That's not really what's gonna help you get your blood sugar up. It's just gonna like you later. And sometimes she, I don't know if she doesn't care, or, you know what I mean, like, how old is she? 5151 Yeah. Oh
Scott Benner 14:00
my gosh. Do you think she'll figure it out? I
Brittany 14:03
hope so. I try to lead by example for her. I give her a hard time sometimes. I try not to, like, I'll be like, you know, we've talked about this. Like, you know, things that are high and fat are going to maybe I'll trigger you up later. Or, like, you know, when you treat like, I don't, you know, I get on her case about it sometimes, but I hope she does. I think it's, you know, at least she has better providers now that can tell her that kind of stuff too. Like, it
Scott Benner 14:27
would be hard to have worse ones. So, yeah,
what's your, what's your level of competency right now? Like, how, how are you managing?
Brittany 14:36
I felt pretty okay. Well, I mean, it's been kind of Rocky, because when, when I was diagnosed, my ANC was 14.5 and I am like a type A, like perfectionist type of personality, so I did a lot of over correcting. Did
Scott Benner 14:55
that make you low? I have always disliked ordering diabetes supplies. Guys, I'm guessing you have as well. It hasn't been a problem for us for the last few years, though, because we began using us Med, you can too us med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, to get your free benefits, check us med has served over 1 million people living with diabetes since 1996 they carry everything you need, from CGM to insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies and more. I'm talking about all the good ones, all your favorites, libre three, Dexcom, g7 and pump psych, Omnipod five, Omnipod tandem, and most recently, the eyelet pump from beta bionics, the stuff you're looking for, they have it at us. Med, 88887211514, or go to us. Med.com/juice, box. To get started now use my link to support the podcast that's us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, this episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Eversense 365 get 365 days of comfortable wear without having to change a sensor. When you think of a continuous glucose monitor, you think of a CGM that lasts 10 or 14 days. But the Eversense 365 it lives up to its name lasting 365 days. That's one year without having to change your CGM with the Eversense. 365 you can count on comfort and consistency. 365 days a year, because the ever since silicon based adhesive is designed for your skin to be gentle and to allow you to take the transmitter on and off, to enjoy your shower, a trip to the pool or an activity where you don't want your CGM on your body, if you're looking for comfort, accuracy, and a one year wear you are looking for ever since 365 go to ever since cgm.com/juice box to learn more.
Brittany 17:06
Oh, yeah. I, you know, I hate seeing my numbers out of range. It drives me nuts. I've tried to kind of ease off a little bit because now I kind of hypo anxiety. It kind of has the one the other direction. I feel like I honeymoon for a long time. I even still, you know, just feel like my ratio changes a lot. Yeah, I know like variables are a factor, but it just feels like sometimes I never know how much to take, or for the first little while, I definitely struggled with like, aggressively being like, I don't want to be high.
Scott Benner 17:48
Do you think you were honeymooning at all? I must have
Brittany 17:51
been for a while. And so I'll just give you the timeline, like I was diagnosed with the diabetes. What happened was I went to my family doctor and I said, you know, I had gestational diabetes, diabetes in my family, and I have all these symptoms. And she was like, I think you're stressed. Okay, sounds good.
Scott Benner 18:16
So you wait, so you came with symptoms, and they said, We think you're stressed. They said,
Brittany 18:23
What? What? Yeah, and like, and in hindsight, I, you know, I should have been like, No, you're wrong. But I was so tired, and I was so like, I didn't want to face the music either. So I was like, whatever. She's like, what's on you for blood work? And at the time, I was like, well, when can I get the blood work? Because I think I knew it was bad, right? I couldn't sleep. I kept getting woken up by, like, my hands would start tingling, like, every night, and I'd be going to the bathroom all the time, and, like, I saw a low parent pretty often. So I kept being like, well, what if something happens to me? And, you know, my husband's not home or whatever, so I'm like, in the doctor's office, I'm like, Okay, well, when can I get the blood work? And she was like, well, just lie and say that it's urgent, because at the time, we had to make appointment to get blood was done. You couldn't just go up there and get it done.
How long was this going on? For a while,
I had lost a ton of weight, and, like, I started losing my hair, and doctor
Scott Benner 19:20
didn't think it was
Unknown Speaker 19:22
urgent. No, what
Scott Benner 19:25
was this doctor? Bombay from the old bewitch TV show. We
Brittany 19:29
have a an issue with a lot of doctors in our town that, you know, they come here because they have to, and they, you know, they don't. They do, like severe, minimum kind of and I'm okay to say that is
Scott Benner 19:42
it like a penal colony. What's going on? Like, we either they're sending you, like, reject doctors from other places.
Brittany 19:49
Well, they're, they're like, from out of the country, and so there's, like, a certain they, I think my understanding is like they have to go to certain locations before they can kind of move around to the. Rest of Canada, that's my understanding.
Scott Benner 20:01
Brittany, why? Why are you in a place that gets the the tester doctors? I
Brittany 20:06
don't know how I got here. I wish I bought that though.
Scott Benner 20:11
Are you can I ask a Can I ask a tough question? Are you financially disenfranchised?
Brittany 20:18
No, um, our jobs just kind of rely on We live near the ocean, so my husband's a fisherman, and I work for the Coast Guard, so we kind of need to be on the coast. Okay, yeah, our jobs are here pretty much. I can't
Scott Benner 20:35
believe what's happened to the world. I just said financially disenfranchised when I met I was like, I'm like, I'm like, Brittany, are you broke? Are you tied to something? Do you need help? Scott, I live in a place where they send, uh, new tester doctors out to see if they're any good or not, like Jesus Christ, and they're not like, God,
Brittany 21:03
it's unfortun because I feel like a lot of people think of care, and they're like, oh, yeah, free health care. Like, it must be you got it made, you know? Like, everything is so good there. And I'm like,
Scott Benner 21:14
Yeah, I'm American. I don't think most things that are free are good. I think if something's worth something, somebody's charging you for it. Wow, that's I
Brittany 21:25
did go get my blood work done a couple days later, and that, I think it was like a Thursday or Friday when I got it done, and then Monday afternoon, at like, 4pm she phoned me and was like, either they made a mistake on your blood work, or you have diabetes, I'm telling you right now, it's not the first one. Like I was just like, it didn't shock me. Yeah,
Scott Benner 21:52
there's been a mistake made, but it's you and me being together. Yeah, I'm trying to get out of that right now. If I can, were you able to find a different doctor, by the way, or is that your doctor? No, because we're
Brittany 22:04
so limited here. She was very confused. You could tell because she saw me and how thin I was and like, how, you know, and she was very confused by the numbers, because she wouldn't say, like, you have type one or type two. She was just like, You should go back to the hospital and get your blood work done again. And I was
Scott Benner 22:24
like, No, oh, she really thought this isn't right. Do something else.
Brittany 22:29
Yeah,
Scott Benner 22:30
so clearly,
Brittany 22:31
I'm painting you the picture.
Speaker 1 22:36
I went to medical school in a trash heap, and I'm here to tell you, this is stress. I see it on you. Yeah, by the way, not how much weight had you lost? Oh, gosh, probably, like, at least 20 pounds. Were you trying to lose weight? Like, could you at least know? So I was eating
Brittany 22:52
everything at insight, I was on, you know, it I was hungry. Yeah, I'm
Scott Benner 22:58
not a doctor, but if I saw you, I'd be like, hey, you've got cancer or diabetes. Let's find out which it is. And, yeah, something's wrong. She
Brittany 23:04
didn't give me the time of day and but it happens so often here, like it's not, I'm not the first person and probably won't be the last,
Scott Benner 23:12
but vote people wait, what's going on?
Brittany 23:16
They just don't know. They just don't know, I guess is
Scott Benner 23:20
the area you live in? Not very, like, suburban,
Brittany 23:24
I guess you could say that, like, you know, I'm in northern DC, so yeah, we're kind of goofy, well, isolated,
Scott Benner 23:33
yeah, how many moose do you see in a week? Uh,
Brittany 23:36
lots of deer. No, not really very many moose. But yeah, the deer, and they pretty much are my pets, like, they
Scott Benner 23:42
live in the backyard, so they wander around everywhere. This
Brittany 23:45
town's like an hour and 20 minute drive with, like, nothing there's it's just scenery, just there's no gas station. There's no other towns in between. It's just straight highway. Is
Scott Benner 23:55
your jacket made out of a beaver or otter pelt? You would think, No, I definitely would think, yeah. I mean, being that I've never been there, and I'm just making this all in my head, I'm predisposed to believe that you're wearing what I'm going to call penguin shoes. But apparently, some little girl told me one time there's no penguins in Canada. No, I mean, I don't believe that either. So whatever. All right, so you get you, you get a diagnosis, and you're and so what do you I have to understand, like, what's your a 1c right now,
Brittany 24:31
my last one was 5.5 I think it's gone up a little bit just because I was on steroids for, like, an illness that I had. So that was a that was fun, tough
Scott Benner 24:47
time. Yeah, needs a lot more basal and yeah, like, my Yeah, here's the reason I'm asking, like, so it's only been not even two years, right? And you've got an A, 1c, in the fives. You're not honeymooning. Anymore, is that correct?
Brittany 25:00
I don't believe so. So okay, let me get to that. Because so she's like, I don't know. She's like, you have diabetes. I'm going to but because it was summertime and we live, you know, somewhere where it's not like, they're not very suburban, she was like, You need to talk to the diabetes there we have. I guess there's two different things. There was a diabetes nurse and a diabetes educator. So then diabetes nurse was away on vacation, so she's like, I'll give you over to the diabetes educator until that other person is back. And in the time being, here it's a Metformin. And boy, did the Metformin make me feel really sick. And I think there was a combination of, like, my blood sugar is kind of coming down, yeah? And like, just the Metformin in general, where you were in DKA, right? Probably, I mean, that's the thing I was she was never like, oh, you should go to the hospital and get insulin and this. And, like, she never said that. She just wanted everybody. I never, ever, yeah. So actually, the funny part is, like, when she called me, yeah, like, I said it was like, four o'clock in the afternoon, and I was actually just about to, like, my son was going to have his birthday party, and we were hopping on a ferry to go to, like, an even more remote place. She's like, you need to go to the hospital, like, they need to redo your blood work. And I was just like, Um, no, I can't. I'm going on vacation well. And so she's like, if you start feeling sick, I think that's the part where she was concerned about DK, but she didn't want to say, she didn't say that, you know, like, she was like, if you start feeling sick while you're in this place, like, go to the hospital. And like, don't eat any sugar or carbs. We were going to, like, our First Nations, like, reserve, my husband is First Nations, and we were going there for a feast in a pool raising. And I'm like, Okay, so, like, what can I eat? Like, you know what I mean? I'm like, I'm gonna be, you know, there's not gonna be keto snacks on the menu, you know, like, so I lived off of, like, salad
Scott Benner 27:04
and, like, you know, fish and vegetables that entire week. It was miserable. You were there for a week pretty much. Yeah, I don't know. I'm irritated that a doctor just can't be direct with you. It's ridiculous.
Brittany 27:18
I am too, yeah? Like, I mean, I still am processing it, you know, like, I know there was a girl in the podcast a little while ago where, you know, her doctor, kind of, or, you know, she didn't get the proper diagnosis right away, and she was totally at peace with it, but like, I'm, it's not me. Like, I'm ready to go to war every
Scott Benner 27:32
day. Or you're pissed about it, yeah? Hey, I'm sorry. First, First Nations. Can you, like, define that for me?
Brittany 27:38
Yeah, so my husband is Haida. So where in? BC, there's a lot of, like, different First Nation communities and so, yeah, that's just where he's from.
Scott Benner 27:51
Okay, alright, and they're having this event. You go off for a week, yeah? You eat, like, fish and salad. Yeah, looking dust off tables. I imagine stuff like that. You're how close to dead are you by the time you get back?
Brittany 28:09
I mean, I probably pretty close. I mean, at the time I was, I couldn't enjoy myself, obviously, because I was like, should I go to the hospital or here? Like, should I not, like, what did I do? I feel like, even if I did, if I had gone to the hospital at the time, they would have been like, they wouldn't have known what to do. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like, even if they recognize DK, they would have, you don't, yeah, I don't know what they would
Scott Benner 28:32
have done. Is this confusion around medicine, beyond diabetes, where you are,
Brittany 28:36
probably, I think so it's from what I've heard, you know, like, I don't think it's diabetes specific, I think, but I mean, it definitely is, like, really prevalent with diabetes. Like, I just feel like the understanding is so bare minimum. Like a lot of people in the North Don't be an endocrinologist for their diabetes. And I am like, that's not okay. So my she was like, Okay, go see the diabetes educator, until you can see the nurse. When I finally got home for my trip, I do that. And then the diabetes educator tried to tell me I was type two. And she was like, you can eat this many carbs per meal, and blah, blah, this and that try that out. And I was like, This is crazy. Like, sitting there, I was like, Are you sure not that? Like, you know, I went home, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna try this now. And, yeah, we went through the whole like, oh, no, sugar in the house, blah, blah. And I remember eating a meal, and still, my blood sugars were not great, obviously, and I was very frustrated. And had a therapist at the time, because during my 18 months postpartum, I was I just remember saying, like, my I felt like my nerves were shot, like I felt so dysregulated all the time. I'm sure, obviously, my blood sugar is. Are playing a part in that. And so my autonomy therapist all this stuff about how, you know, all of a sudden I've typed two diabetes. I'm like, I'm taking this medication, but I feel like it's not working, like they're saying I can eat carbs, but when I do, like, I don't feel great and everything. And so she was like, I think you need a second opinion. And then I finally did see the diabetes nurse, and that's when she was like, You need to go to this specific clinic. It's in Vancouver. And she's like, I think you have. She called it louder, like type one and a half, where she explained the whole thing. And I was like, Oh, that made more sense to me. You know, I was like, I was like, Okay, we're on the right track. Now, did
Scott Benner 30:45
that, Brittany, did that feel better for you because you were trying so hard not to get what you thought was type two diabetes? Did it feel better that this wasn't something that you could have gotten in the way of it
Brittany 30:56
made a lot of sense, okay? Like, it just kind of it was like a puzzle piece I was missing in that moment when, when I finally, she put me on the track with this clinic. And she was like, You should talk to them. And they, they were like, Okay, I went there and they did tests for antibodies. And they were like, Oh, we have a clinical trial for people who are newly diagnosed donor honeymoon period. Yeah, it's that the drug is called use map.
Scott Benner 31:34
You stuck in a lab.
Brittany 31:38
You stuck a new Mab. That's how you pronounce it, at it, yeah? Hold on a second. I can't remember. It's also used for Crohn's. I can't remember the like over the counter. Are you googling? Yeah?
Scott Benner 31:56
By get any Oh, wow, Stella,
Brittany 31:58
yeah, that's it. You went with the
Scott Benner 32:01
instead of the brand name you went with, you stuck in a nap that you remembered, you know, immunosuppressive drug. Hey, I have a question. Your doctors can't figure out if someone has diabetes, but they're aware of this.
Brittany 32:21
So this was a new this was a new doc. So finally, after I had seen the diabetes nurse, that was the one who was like, Okay, I think you're type one and a half, there's a clinic in Vancouver who does research, clinical trials, and they do like, they'll take you on as a patient for like, endocrinology, and you know, you need to get in with them. And at the time, yeah, anyways, my doctor had given me a hard time about getting a referral to there, and I know kind of why in hindsight, but so I did get one, and I got in there, and, yeah, my first appointment, they were like, Yep, it sounds like you have type one or ladder. You know, this is what you need to do. You need to take insulin. Now, explain the whole scenario. And then they're like, and also, you know, we have this clinical trial, would you be interested? And I was like, You know what? Yeah, because at this point, like, I've, you know, seen the wrath of diabetes my entire life, essentially. And like, if I can do something to, you know, make it go away, or, you know, help, you know, be a part of some sort of solution, like, count me and kind of thing, tell me about the trial, yeah. So the idea is that it preserves what beta cells you have less, is my understanding. So unfortunately, I don't actually know if I got the drug or not, because two thirds of the participants get it and 1/3 gets a placebo. I actually just got home on Monday from doing like my final appointment, yeah, and I was asking her, like, do you think I got the drug or not? Or like, can you even say and so she they had to wait for my blood work to come back. So like, next week, she's like, just send me a text message and kind of ask me where your beta cell levels are at. Because that was part of, like, the criteria, you had to have a certain amount of cells still remaining. So that's why, like, being honeymoon, being like, you had to be within three months of diagnosis, and you still had to have, like, a certain amount of beta cells. Because the idea is, like, they want to see if it the drug, like, preserved those beta cells. Wow. So I don't actually know if I got it or not. It's hard to say.
Scott Benner 34:37
Will they ever tell you it
Brittany 34:39
was a blind study. So like I said, the only way I could maybe Guess, guess if I got it or not was if my beta cells, like stayed the same or like
Scott Benner 34:52
as my understanding, which I don't know yet. So gotcha Well, I hope you got it, and I hope it has helped. Full, yeah, me too, yeah. So this is sort of like T Z old here in the US. Okay, I think although yours is a monoclonal antibody, I don't know if T z is or not interesting. Well, I mean, it's fascinating that it went from like no information to this information.
Brittany 35:19
Yeah, it was like, zero to 60 for sure, like, but I feel like, by the time I got diagnosed, I was just like, Okay, let's just do it, you know, like I was just like, understand how diabetes worked. I've been around it. And you know what I mean, like, by the point that they were like, hey, you need insulin. I was like, give it to me. Like I wanted it yesterday, you know, like I was about to when I was just thinking, I was like, keep that for keep that away from me. Like, I don't want that, you know, whatever. Like, like you said, it was kind of almost a relief, like that light bulb moment, or like that puzzle piece where it was like, Okay, this makes sense. You know, I feel like pregnancy maybe triggered it potentially, I'm not sure, but yeah. I
Scott Benner 36:00
mean, your mom's got, your mom's got type one so, yeah. So,
Brittany 36:04
like, I went to my clinic and they offered, like, the antibody testing and everything like that. They were like, yep, you have antibodies. Like, that was a another criteria for this study. And then I said to my mom, like, you know what, you should really get tested for antibodies too. Like, they were the thing with type one diabetes, that's clinical diagnosis, right? So, or that's what they say here, okay? But like, you know, my understanding is, like, if you the C peptide is what tells you, like, would it not? Isn't there a test you can do to
Scott Benner 36:40
outside, I like, your mom getting the antibody testing, obviously. I mean, at this point now, it's 20 some years, like, I mean, she's managing the way she's managing, but, yeah, I mean, here you would do it. I mean, to know, or to have, like, better insurance coverage for self or that kind of thing. But, like, you know, for your peace of mind even. But I mean, so once she finds out, does she shift? Because, correct me, if I'm wrong. But like, the the use for insulin for your mom, for type two, was what they gave her basal, was it, did she have a meal insulin? Like, a meal time? Insulin? Yeah,
Brittany 37:13
but I'm not really sure what, how she was using it like, because I, you know, I, when I say insulin to car ratio to her, I don't think she knows. Like, I don't think she had a clue what I was
Scott Benner 37:23
talking about. Also, was she testing her blood sugar. She wearing a glucose monitor.
Brittany 37:27
She had the libre. She had a Libra for a long time, okay, but, like, obviously something she was doing wasn't working. Like, yeah. So, yeah. So then she gets referred to the clinic that I'm at, and they take her on as a patient, and we went down there for a trip, and she got the test, and they were like, you have the antibodies like, you know, this whole time you've actually been type one and you you know, but you've been trying to manage, like, a type two, and that's why you're
Scott Benner 37:56
having so much trouble. What was her, what was her emotional response to that,
Brittany 38:00
I think she was also kind of relieved. Or, you know, she was like, Okay. Like, because she, I know she had been frustrated with her diabetes care team slash management for a long time, yeah. So I think she was just like, Oh my God. Like, finally, it makes sense as well. Kind of like, similar to me. I don't know if there was more to it, yeah.
Scott Benner 38:21
Also probably feels like he didn't do anything wrong. And then there's Yeah,
Brittany 38:25
because, I mean, that was, like, a theme, right for her, like, I feel like a lot of people were like, Oh, you just aren't doing it right for years. You know what? I mean, I can imagine.
Scott Benner 38:33
I want to be clear, that's what I meant. I meant the management, not the type one versus type two, like, the actual management of it, like, Oh, I didn't try to know that maybe we would have done something different. She's, does she have a pump now? No,
Brittany 38:45
so I am starting the process of getting a pump this month, okay, and I'm hoping and encourages her, which I know she's, like, really hesitant to press technology and like, I understand that completely. Like, the clinic that we go to now is very, like, technology oriented, but it really like, obviously, like, they're into clinical trials, into research. Like, I feel like my so, like, it wants to be the first man on the moon with he wants to find the cure. Like, he's very like, boom, boom, boom. Like, clinical trial. Like, I just finished that one, and then he was like, you know, there's the other one. I was like, No, that's great, but I need a break. It.
Scott Benner 39:21
How did you find a better clinic?
Brittany 39:23
I honestly look because, to be honest with you, like that, when I went and saw the diabetes nurse, she for some reason, like and she works in the same building as a diabetes educator. She knew about this clinic, and the other person didn't mention to me whatsoever. And she was like, this is where you need to go. And I was like, okay, like, done. I almost canceled my appointment with that diabetes nurse after having my one with the diabetes educator, because I when she told me I was type two, I was like, you're out to lunch. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, so I was like, I'm sure the diabetes nurse is just going to be the same, you know what I mean. So I was like, very just frustrated and discouraged. And I. So the last person I wanted to see was another diabetes person telling me that, you know, I was type two and this and that one, it just didn't make sense. No, okay, so, like, yeah, I almost canceled that appointment, and I didn't. And I went there, and she was like, oh, no, I think you're Lata. I think that. No, you need to see this clinic. And I think she even knew about the trial. And so I was like, how, like, you need to go talk to your friend.
Scott Benner 40:26
It makes me wonder how many people in that area are walking around with a misdiagnosis. A lot,
Brittany 40:31
I'll tell you right now. I bet you there's a lot, because I've encountered, like, I speak pretty vocally about my diagnosis because, like, there's so many people that don't realize you can get type one as an adult, and physicians, including, obviously, really, yeah, and Oh, so many. And since my diagnosis, I've talked to, well, at least one other person, but someone actually just messaged me, like, recently a family friend, and was like, hey, like, you know, I'm pre diabetic, and I'm like, Whoa, I would look into that if I were you. Like, I was like, you should ask for a C peptide test.
Scott Benner 41:07
Getting that test is not difficult once you ask for it. No,
Brittany 41:10
no. Because what I don't understand is, I'm pretty sure I had one done, you know, like, I don't know if that's after the fact. My like, my family doctor requested one after the fact maybe once she realized, like, what my parents do was, she thinks she did one then. And I was like, Well, if you're asking for one, then don't you know what the COVID is? Like, I was very confusing. But I yeah, I feel like it happened a lot where, like, the physician here don't realize you can get it as an adult, and they because, like, the even my clinic, I voice my frustration every time I go there. I'm like, You guys rely on catching people on their honeymoon phase and being diagnosed properly and on time. Like, how are you going to finish your study? If that's just not happening, it's like, just, you know, they're like, Yeah, we know that's our frustration. And I was like, somebody gonna do it. How does this just keep going, you know, my thing was, like, what really opened my eyes? I was like, Okay, this happened to my mom, you know, 28 years ago, when I, I'm assuming there wasn't very much of an understanding about type one diabetes and like that, there was adult onset, and they thought it was just juvenile. But I'm like, it's, you know, almost three decades later, and nothing has changed. And you guys, you know, like, some people know and some people don't. And like, the you know what I mean, like, I was just very like, how did this almost happen again? How did history almost repeat itself? I was like, no. I mean,
Scott Benner 42:32
it sounds like it's happening a lot, yeah. So you're looking into a pump, hoping your mom's going to get a pump. You use a CGM now I imagine, yeah, yeah. Are there other autoimmune issues in your family, line with your mom, with you, with your husband, anybody else?
Brittany 42:50
I think my mom has arthritis. I
Scott Benner 42:52
don't know if that's I mean, Ra is, but not just arthritis.
Brittany 42:57
I'm not entirely sure about anything else that I don't think there is
Scott Benner 43:02
thyroid, celiac,
Brittany 43:06
no, no, no, no. Diabetes is just like pretty much rampant through my mom's side of the family. I don't actually know my medical history on my dad's part of the family, because my parents use a sperm donor. So I don't know who my daddy is okay. I don't know that whole side of the medical Sure thing for me is just like, unknown completely, which is kind of sucky, but I'm pretty sure all of my, you know, health things don't want to say all, but like my type one diabetes and, you know, comfort my mom obviously Okay,
Scott Benner 43:40
her at the very least, you know? Well, you know about that, and she has it, and there was a lot of diabetes on your mom's side,
Brittany 43:47
yeah, like, I'm pretty sure my grandmother had it. I don't know if my grandfather did or not. I'm pretty sure he did. You know, what Titan my uncle, I'm assuming they were both just type two or, like, that's what they said they were, right, you know, right, yeah, my biggest concern is, like, my grandmother had really bad dementia, Alzheimer's, dementia, all that kind of stuff. I worry about that for my mom, just because I know how bad her blood sugars have been for a long time, because, like I said, she's got everything else, you know, like she's got the neuropathy, she's got gastroparesis, like she has a just a long time, yeah, things that have come from her diabetes, diabetes management just not being what it should be. What made
Scott Benner 44:32
you want to come on the show, like, what prompted you to reach out
Brittany 44:36
for me? Like, I, I like, you know, I just it makes me so frustrated and emotional, like I watched my mom's life pretty much just be ruined, in my mind, by diabetes, because because of one misdiagnosis, and because nobody took the time to be like, You know what? Maybe we should like, listen and reassess the situation. Conversation instead of like, Hey, we should lock it up because you don't want to, you know what? I mean, you don't want to take your meds anymore because you're so burnt out. Yeah, that's fascinating that, you know, like there needs to be a change. Like, I'm It baffles me, because it's like, I'm just a regular person, and I had to understand all this in, you know, like, at the drop of the hat because of my diagnosis. Like, why can't medical professionals do the same? Like, it's, you know what I mean? Like, I just feel like, it's not that hard to understand. People need to know, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like, especially now, because I think COVID, I triggered a lot of autoimmune things. And like, I said, my my family friend that I've known for a long time, again, really healthy lifestyle. And they are like, Oh, you're you have pre diabetes. Like, I'm sure they probably try to tell them he was type two. I think that he mentioned that to me in the in the message that he sent me, and I was like, you should ask for a second opinion, but it's like a lot of people go to their doctor and they just take their word for everything. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not that type of person because of my experiences. Yeah,
Scott Benner 46:05
you have to be. I mean, you just, you just genuinely have to. And I, I shudder to even call it like advocating for yourself at this point. Like, I don't think it's advocating. I think you just have to wonder if, if the person that you're dealing with has you know, your best interest at heart, or if they're just following a plan, or, you know, if, even if they were educated well, or, you know, having a good day, or whatever. Like, I mean, even, like, a great doctor has a bad day, I don't what if? What if? That's the day they see me. And so forget the idea of advocating. Advocating to me feels like forcing somebody to do what they're supposed to do for you. Like, I think you have to take, I mean, I'm looking for another word, but I don't know why. Like, I think you need to take this responsibility. Yeah,
Brittany 46:49
you know, I am. I just remember my mom being the type of person who would be like, Well, the doctor said, and I'm like, it doesn't matter if what you're experiencing is not lining up with what the doctor is saying. Then even
Scott Benner 47:00
if it is you should, you should have more than a cursory understanding of something that's happening to
Brittany 47:05
you. Yeah, yeah. You know, I feel like that's just not, not the case. And like, especially where we live right now, you know, like I said, the doctors are, they don't give you the time of day, and they just want to Band Aid things. And they, yeah, you know what? I mean, they're going to tell you that you're stressed.
Scott Benner 47:19
I was like, you live on the Dark Side of the Moon. It feels like it honestly
Brittany 47:23
does. And it's really stressful. Like, you know, we have kids and I worry about their health, and, you know, our ER, like, closes because we're short staffed for doctors and stuff. So it's like, a very stressful place to live, because, like you said, the closest town is, like, an hour and 20 minute drive away from here. So like, you
Scott Benner 47:40
have an emergency room that shuts down because of staffing.
Brittany 47:45
It's like a recently new development that it's been like that, but it's very stressful. Jesus, can you move? I want to, I do. I really do.
Scott Benner 47:56
But you're there for work, right? Tell me again, what is it you do?
Brittany 48:00
So I work for the Coast Guard. I'm marine communications and Traffic Services Officer. So like we answer mayday call, we regulate marine traffic, like we talk to all the cargo ships and cruise ships and anybody who's of size to transit Canadian waters. Will we give them, like their we process their clearance requests and everything like we're talking to mariners all day long. So very stressful job, but there's only two centers on this coast, and the other center is very it's a very expensive place to live, and it's just not where we want to be. And then my husband is a commercial crab fisherman, so he gone for days at a time. He fishes in the local area. So it's hard to, like, find another it's, yeah, the jobs
Scott Benner 48:45
holding you to the coast and the coast, yeah, doesn't have a ton of people living there, so you get spotty services. Is that about how it works?
Brittany 48:53
Yeah? It's just not a very Yeah. It's not very desirable place to live in some cases. I mean, some people really love it here. You
Scott Benner 48:59
know that people who don't have diabetes, yeah,
Brittany 49:03
oh, yeah, oh. I had a woman message me a couple weeks ago saying, like, I have she has, like, hypoglycemic episodes, but they wouldn't give her, you know, her insurance wouldn't cover CGM because she's not insulin dependent, and so she was really struggling. And so a lot of the doctors here don't like to refer people to endocrinologist. They like to try and manage people with diabetes themselves, which I don't know why. I don't know if it's like, a financial reason, like, they won't, yeah, give referrals. It's like, they gate keeps like crazy. And she was like, you know, my family doctor is leaving. So I saw your post about the clinic that you go to from a little while ago. Like, could you give me some information on that and want to get a referral? And I was like, absolutely. And I had happened to have some extra g6 is that I don't feel like I switched to the g7 and I was just kind of keeping them as backups. I didn't really need them. I was like, you can have these, you know, until you can get what you need. That's ridiculous, that you can't, you know? She was like, I have a son, like, and, you know, I wake up in the middle of night because I have hypoglycemic episodes. I'm like, my doctors don't listen to me, or believe me, or whatever. But it happens so often, like,
Scott Benner 50:22
that's so defeating. Honestly, the entire, the entirety of of this story is defeating. It's just, I mean, you want to think that people have equal opportunities, but it just isn't the case. And I mean, not not that, not that we all don't know that, but it's interesting to hear someone actually say it, you know, and tell a story of living through it, which is, you
Brittany 50:43
know, Jesus, like, it's frustrating, and that's why, like, I any opportunity again, I'm telling people about, like, the clinic that I go to, because they're always taking referrals. And I'm like, you know, I, you know, I have a couple of co workers who have type two and and they were mentioning their frustration with seeing their family doctors about it, and I was like, ask for referral. And one of them did, and it was the same thing, like, Oh, you don't need to blah blah. And I'm like, but they, but they would like to do, you know what I mean? Like, it's not, you know, they, they just don't feel like it's necessary. They don't want to lose the patient or whatever. I'm like, but at the same time, they complain about being overworked and whatever. But it's like, I don't know, like, I feel like they're just trying to line their pockets. They don't really care about people's quality of life, is what it feels like. And, yeah, how do they get paid? Is my question. I'm not sure. Like, they work for our health department, so it's crazy, because they they do, like, they have their practices, right? And then they also work in the ER. So like, they're doing both. They're, they're not getting, you know, they're getting paid pretty well, and they're, you know what I mean. So it's not like they can't afford to outsource someone's at least diabetes management, like you're still going to be their family practitioner for other things. But like, let them see a specialist for their diabetes management. I just feel like, you know, they don't think it's necessary. Like, I think they're just like, Oh, it's just diabetes. So why would you need to see a specialist?
Scott Benner 52:12
You also think it's about keeping you siloed with them. I
Brittany 52:17
think so, part of it. And like, I said, like, I think anytime that I've tried to get a referral from my doctor, it's like, pulling teeth. I'm like, you, you pay out of your pocket when that, when you submit a referral for me, or like, you get, did someone like, take you outside and beat you because you put in a referral? Like, I don't, I don't understand it. I really put
Scott Benner 52:33
in a referral to someone kick your kid. What's happening? That's
Brittany 52:37
honestly how it feels every time I make an appointment. I like, I just dread it because I know I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna have to fight for this and interesting and like, I'm gonna have to make my case, and I'm gonna have to, you know what I mean, like, yeah, like, you said. It's very defeating. No, I
Scott Benner 52:53
hear you. That sucks. It really does. Yeah.
Brittany 52:56
I just feel like, yeah. Like I said. I feel like, misdiagnosed happens so often. I'm in a lot of, like, Facebook groups for like, Lata and stuff, and people like, Oh, hey, I'm new here, but I was misdiagnosed for the last five years. I'm just like, damn. Like, when is this going to end? You know?
Scott Benner 53:11
Oh no, it happens all the time. Yeah, your stories, your misdiagnosis story, is incredibly common. Yeah,
Brittany 53:17
it really is frustrating for me, because, like I said, you can you're running someone's life. No, their health is kind of greatly tougher. Well,
Scott Benner 53:26
you know, I try to make this point all the time, and I imagine that at times I sound like I'm sounding some alarm, but, but it really happened to your mom, yeah, like she lost 20 plus years of her life to this, this diagnosis. It really does happen like that, yeah, and, you know, like, it just takes bad circumstance with a bad doctor, and then you fall into a rhythm and you're sick all the time, or you're unhappy, or, you know, God knows what was happening to your mom, like, her blood sugars were probably all over the place. And then, you know, like, and, and then 20 years goes by, and now she has, she has problems from it on top of all that. So
Brittany 54:05
it's like, now even you know, you're not going to reverse those either. So it's like, now, okay, finally, she has the proper diagnosis. And like, maybe her ANC is coming down, but like, it problems, the you know, I mean, the damage, yeah, yeah. I just remember she was always very, like, you know, not angry, but she would definitely have a temper and like, I'm like, I can you know your blood sugar is high, you're irritable. Like, that's just how it is. But, you know, yeah,
Scott Benner 54:37
why can you just tell because my blood sugar is 425, that's why, yeah, and my brain's not working correctly. Like
Brittany 54:44
I said, my whole childhood, it was just like diabetes was like that dark cloud for my mom, because, you know, over our whole family too, because she had so many health problems as a result. And, like, you know, an emotional like mental, mental health. Almost done it, like I said, to the point where I desperately was like, I'm not going to have diabetes. And I get, well, like, you know, I was like, I'm going to do that complete opposite of everything my mom does. And, like, when I was a teenager, I developed an eating disorder because I was like, I'm just going to eat so healthy. But then I obviously was obsessive and like, I was like, I'm just gonna eat nothing.
Scott Benner 55:25
Well, Brittany weren't, wow, that didn't,
Brittany 55:29
you know, like, so it's this huge, like, intersection for me when, when I get diagnosed, because I'm just kind of like, yeah, I don't know. It's like, all these things that make sense. But now it's like, I don't know, just very hard kind of listen almost, where it's like, I gave my mom a hard time also, because I was like, Damn, I can't just manage her diabetes. Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you just, you know, I mean, like, it's, you know, you
Scott Benner 55:54
were like, you were like, I handle your mom person. And yeah,
Brittany 55:58
I was like, why are you, you know what? I mean, like, I understood she had diabetes. I was like, it can't be that hard. Like, I don't understand. I never understood as a kid why she couldn't just manage it. You know what I mean? It's like, why can't you just get your blood sugar under control? And I was so frustrated with her, like, you know, respect for
Unknown Speaker 56:14
her because of that.
Brittany 56:15
I was like, why can't you just take care of yourself, you know, which I obviously feel bad for that now, because I'm like, it wasn't your fault.
Scott Benner 56:24
Have you said anything to her about it? No, oh, Brittany, come on, you could go tell her
Brittany 56:30
you're sorry. That's a tough conversation
Unknown Speaker 56:33
to have come I don't know.
Brittany 56:35
I don't know. It's just there's a lot, like, I said, we've been through so much, and I give her heart like, obviously, like, so my user story got really bad when I was in high school, to the point where I was admitted to the Children's Hospital in Toronto hospital, and my mom, like, she already was dealing with so much, and then she's going to deal with my BS, like, you know, and I'm not going to say that diabetes was the reason, you know, I was in dance and body image was a thing, and, you know, a very anxious kid, and, like, there was just so many things that triggered me to, like, go down that road, obviously. But like I said, there's a lot of times where, like, flaming, obviously, and being like, well, you eat this food, so obviously that's why you have diabetes. I'm like, you know, you can't manage your blood sugar, so Well, whatever. And, like, I Yeah, give her so much lack and, but that's what I that was the narrative, right? So okay, like, it still is. I'm not
Scott Benner 57:38
going to let you off the hook, though. Hold on a second. Yeah. Why can't you just apologize to her?
Brittany 57:43
Oh, no, I, I definitely understand that, but I we just don't have those conversations like, that's a deep conversation.
Scott Benner 57:53
It's Mom, I'm sorry, Brittany, what else is going on?
Brittany 57:56
It just it feels like there's just so much like that, it would unravel almost, you know what I mean? Like, oh,
Scott Benner 58:04
you're not hold on. You're not afraid of telling her. You're sorry. You're afraid of what happens if you start being honest with your mom.
Brittany 58:11
I think she knows. I mean,
Scott Benner 58:15
you keep the flag.
Brittany 58:18
Just feels like a lot.
Scott Benner 58:20
You go like, Hey, Mom, I want to tell you something. I feel badly about how I treated you back when you thought you had type two diabetes, and I kept telling you to take care of it. And now we learn you have type one and you were really at a disadvantage. And I just wanted to let you know I apologize there. I did it for you. Now I'm just gonna
Brittany 58:36
be like, You know what, Mom, you should listen to this god apologizes on my dad. Is
Scott Benner 58:42
this too deep? Do you not want to talk about this? No, I mean it. It is. What happens next? What do you imagine happens next? All right, ready? Listen, we'll play act. I'll be you. You be your mom. Watch this. Oh, hey mom. It's me. Brittany, hey. And then right. And then I hold on, hey. Thanks. I feel bad. I feel
Brittany 59:05
Brittany bitch. But anyways, continue. Oh
Scott Benner 59:07
yeah, it's like that. And and I brought over, I wrote over here on a moose to tell you that that I just I've been thinking about it lately, and you spent so many years living with type one diabetes, thinking it was type two, and not having the right tools or right direction. And there were times, I know, you know, there were times that I was hard on you about your management, and I just wanted to say, I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I'm sorry. I hope you accept my apology. Now you be your mom.
Brittany 59:41
I don't know what she can say.
Scott Benner 59:42
What are you afraid she's gonna say? Nothing.
Brittany 59:46
I just think it would be so emotional. I don't think I'm Did you know? Why would that be a problem? Because we're not good at that. We're
not good, you know, we're not like you think she would cry. Crying.
I think there would be, I would cry. I don't think I'm able to get through I'm like, kind of tearing up right now, when you say that, when you made that, like, little speech, like, for me to say that I would cry, I would when's the last time you cried? I cried the other day. I finished a half marathon and I cried. But like, it's not like, it's like a superficial like, I was like, Okay, I'm proud of myself, but like, when it comes to, like, really digging into because it feels like it was a trauma, like dealing with all of that kind of stuff, like for both of us, you know, like medical trauma or whatever, plus, like, so many other things that we went through together that just talking about it like it's gonna turn into,
Scott Benner 1:00:41
like, catching salmon with your teeth. What are we talking about? Like, like,
Brittany 1:00:45
things that we went through, yeah, like I said, the eating disorder was a whole thing. And then, like, my dad, like my parents relationships, like they separated when I was three. But then, you know, nobody told me until I was 16 that, you know, my dad wasn't my dad, like the person who I thought was entirely, I don't know, there was a lot of turmoil, and my mom and I, you know, we have a good relationship, but we don't talk about the things that weren't good.
Scott Benner 1:01:10
Brittany, can I? Can I make an assertion? It's hard to say I have a good relationship with your mom, if you can't tell her a basic thing, like, I apologize, yeah. So I don't like
Brittany 1:01:24
spoken kind of
Scott Benner 1:01:28
that's what people say. You don't want to apologize. She knows it's all right. So let's say she does know. Let's say she does know you guys have a good relationship. She loves you. She's not holding any animosity towards you or anything like that. She knows. What would it hurt? Don't you think she'd just love it if you told her? Would you like it if she apologized to you for things she hurt you for? Yeah, would you hurt your kids and not for her? Well, I don't care about that. Would you hurt your children and then not apologize to them. No, okay, I
Brittany 1:02:03
wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. What
Scott Benner 1:02:05
are we? What have we been talking about? Then, Brittany, just go tell your tell your mom, yourself, write it down.
Brittany 1:02:09
Okay, oh, you know what Mother's Day is coming up. I
Scott Benner 1:02:11
will, Brittany, now you're thinking, in a Mother's Day car, in a Mother's Day card, in a Mother's Day card. I want? Do you want me? You want to write this down, or I think what you say is, I wish I could say this to you in person, and at the moment, I'm not sure why I can't, but I hope that one day I could, boom. I've been thinking a lot lately about your life with diabetes and how you were misdiagnosed, and how difficult it was for you to try to help yourself. I realized how frustrating that must have been, and I've looked back and seen that there were times that I gave you crap about how you took care of yourself, and I am really sorry to have added to your frustration, and I want to apologize. Yeah, there are you crying. Brittany, we're making a podcast. What are you doing? Just cry on a podcast. Poke yourself in the face or something till it hurts. All right? So anyway, you don't have to do any of these stuff. Yeah? You can cheat with the Mother's Day card and she'll think it's great, because you guys are walled off emotionally.
Brittany 1:03:18
Yeah, you want your it's true. Unfortunately, when I moved out, because I was moving to a different province, and, like, I think that was tough for her, because I was always like, stay home forever. And like, I was just like, see you later.
Scott Benner 1:03:32
I'm going a and she's like, Alright, hey, I'll see you later. It was
Brittany 1:03:36
hard for her. So she wrote me a letter she to read at the airport, and it was kind of similar to what you just said, but it was about some other things that I was like, I was crying in the airport, and I was like, okay, so I think that's it. We're just like, we're a letter. What we're gonna write it down? Okay,
Scott Benner 1:03:51
well, then there we go. How's your handwriting?
Brittany 1:03:56
Yeah, type it out. Well, that,
Scott Benner 1:03:58
I tell you right now, we'll take out all of the personal attachment. Good. So emojis. If you put a emoji in that note, I'm gonna go all the way down rather how you are and smack you in the head. Okay, like, so like, I'd love to meet you, though. Well, not like that, because the first thing I'm just saying is, Brittany, did you put a fcking smiley face in a heart in your mom's Mother's Day so just, I would write it out. First you can type it out, but then, like, I'm a big fan of them sitting down and writing it out by hand. Yeah, yeah. I think putting a typed note in someone's Mother's Day card is, is anti what we're trying to accomplish here. Yeah, okay. Are you really gonna do this? Are you just, like, placating me? No, I
Brittany 1:04:44
feel like I should like, so my problem is like, I I feel like I've been so worried about myself for the past, you know, since my diagnosis, because it's been overwhelming for me, you know, like, I don't know. I just feel like I haven't really gotten and I. I I try not to. I want to help her with her diabetes. And I think she realizes, like, you know why it's kind of, like, like I said, because she's I watched her struggle so much. I'm like, okay, mom, like, this is what you gotta do. Like, it makes so much sense now. Like, I don't know if that bothers her or not, because, like I said, I was hounding her about the insulin pump. I was like, you know, man, that'll help you so much.
Scott Benner 1:05:19
And maybe that's the the end of your note. The post script your note is now that we both have this going on, I really think it would be beneficial for both of us if we teamed up and learned as much about this as we could so we can take really great care of ourselves and spend as much time together as we possibly can. That's Look at me. Yeah, I should write this for a living. Yeah, you know, Brit, when I was in my 20s, I thought I was going to start a greeting card company. Oh, it's never too late. I don't think no, because you're no, because then I won't make the podcast. Yeah, I'll be, I'll be busy, but I wanted to start a greeting card company, but with, like, really adult themed, racy, terrible messages,
Brittany 1:06:04
oh, I would love that. I
Scott Benner 1:06:06
thought it was amazing. That's
Brittany 1:06:08
my kind of humor, see, that's the, see, that's if I could be like, you know, kind of make it a dark humor, like, apology to my mom, then, like, that's kind of the level that we're at. Yeah, we don't really get to, like, like, sensitive, emotional. We don't go to those places, really. So that's why I'm like, Oh, I don't even know how to start that conversation. Like, I thought, I mean, like, I feel like, it's just, she sees me,
Scott Benner 1:06:37
that's it. So
Brittany 1:06:38
she's, she's like, Oh, okay. She knows now,
Scott Benner 1:06:41
talking to each other is, is very important. Yeah,
Brittany 1:06:45
yeah. My mom does a lot for me. And, you know, like, like I said, Because I work 12 hour shift so and my whenever my husband's away, like she's here helping with the kids, and we do, like I said, I know it sounds crazy to say we have, like, a close relationship, but you can be close.
Scott Benner 1:07:03
Yeah, no, you can be close without having, like, intimate emotional connection. Like there's close, like physically close, and there's being there for each other and all that stuff. There's nothing wrong with any of that's all lovely. But you know, like to be able to look someone in the eye and say, hey, you know, I did something bad to you, and I feel bad about it. I wanted to tell you, yeah, yeah. And I'm not just here to relieve myself. I'm here to, I'm here to just to validate her, almost, yeah, to validate what you've been through, and to open myself up and be be naked right here in front of you, and tell you, I this up, and I'm so sorry. You know, let me give you a piece of advice. My wife taught me this over 20 years after you apologize, you don't then explain why you did the bad thing, that's that's wrong, not supposed to do that. You don't go but you don't understand. Here's what happened,
Brittany 1:07:59
yeah, like, explain what you're apologizing for, but not like,
Scott Benner 1:08:02
yeah, yeah, but not, but don't start making up excuses for why you did the thing in the first place. Yeah. Well, you are a girl. You know not to do that, but I'm a boy. I don't, I don't know not to do. I'm like, It's not my fault.
Brittany 1:08:15
But, yeah, you don't understand what was
Scott Benner 1:08:17
happening to me at the time. You know, I was having a lot of trouble, all right, yeah, okay. I
Brittany 1:08:22
don't ever want my mom to feel like, like I say that, you know, it affects my childhood or whatever. But I don't want her to feel like that's her fault or like, you know, it's not, it's obviously not like that's kind of,
Scott Benner 1:08:34
let me ask you this last question I'm going to leave you with this lingering thought to torment you. Do you want your kids to grow up and not feel comfortable talking to you like that? No, I would. I would want them to you think that happens magically? Brittany, how do you think that happens? No,
Brittany 1:08:50
I know, and we definitely like, I think feel like I have a different relationship with my kids. Hopefully, like, you know, I just Well, they're little, they're like little people,
Scott Benner 1:09:00
but when they're adults, though, how it gets once you're an adult, is it? It doesn't always go the way you are with them when they were little, because sometimes people just have trouble being open like that with somebody who can really, I guess, understand the conversation, like, when you're like, when you're being really sweet to a kid, it's easy. They're not judging you, right? But once, once you, and I don't even mean judging in a bad way, but you're not being judged and and you know that they're not looking at you and really thinking, like, why is she saying this? Like, what is what is she? What does she mean by this? Like, they, they not having those thoughts yet. So it's easy to be nice to little kids. I'm just saying, if you want that with your kids, you're gonna have to figure out how to do that with your mom, and time is of the essence.
Brittany 1:09:47
Yeah, yeah. I think part of me was just kind of like, you know, the communication wasn't great between my mom and I, and like, I felt like it was kind of a loss, like, not, you know, a. Lost cause. But like, you know, anytime that I've tried to have those conversations with my mom, I feel like she kind of goes into like, defense mode,
Scott Benner 1:10:07
and so you can't have an expectation of her response. No, yeah.
Brittany 1:10:12
I mean, like, I haven't, yeah. I just feel like the communication thing, I try to have different forms of communication with my kids, like I but it's like, you know, a console try again with my mom as well, too.
Scott Benner 1:10:27
This is so nice. Hey, listen, if you guys get into a fight and stab each other, please don't blame me. I had nothing to
Brittany 1:10:32
do. I know that you already made that disclaimer about, like, you know, nothing I say,
Scott Benner 1:10:36
Oh yeah, nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast. Should you try to expect that I'm responsible for? Yeah, you know we're just talking, but no, I mean, I know you Canadians get stabby, so like, if somebody gets I don't want to, it's not my fault. Okay,
Brittany 1:10:51
I know I think that I would rather get stabbed than get emotional. But
Scott Benner 1:11:01
could you just stab me instead of me having to apologize to my mom? Please? That would be better and hit me while you're at it. It's fine, just don't. I don't want to tell that woman I'm sorry. I really don't. Yeah, well,
Brittany 1:11:14
Happy Mother's Day. Here's a nice like,
Scott Benner 1:11:17
Happy Mother's Day. This is my mother's day. This is my mother's day. Uh, episode. It'll come out like, six months after Mother's Day, but still. Well, yeah, so while you guys are listening to this right now, think back six months ago, what did you get your mom for Mother's Day? Should have apologized. I listen. I thought the other day, I thought to just tell my wife I was sorry randomly. And when she asked for why I'd go I don't know, I must have done something,
Brittany 1:11:41
blanket apology. Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:11:43
I should maybe do it every week. You know what I mean? Like, hey, I'm really sorry for what I'm like, I don't know whatever I did. I honestly I didn't mean it. Yeah, so
Brittany 1:11:52
it doesn't count if you don't know what you're sorry for. All right,
Scott Benner 1:11:54
Brittany, I don't understand why you won't get a job that's not near the water, but that's for another day. I'm gonna let you go. I appreciate you doing this with me very much. Thank
you. I'd like to thank the ever since 365 for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast, and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every 14 days, you want the ever sense CGM, ever since cgm.com/juice box, one year, one CGM. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gevok glucagon. Find out more about G vo hypo pen at gevok glucagon.com, forward slash juice box. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com, forward slash juice box. This episode of the juice box podcast was sponsored by us Med, US med.com/juice box, or call 888-721-1514, 87211514, get started today with us. Med links in the show notes. Links at Juicebox podcast com, if you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're looking for some fresh perspective, the bold beginning series from the Juicebox podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series, Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player, or you can go to Juicebox podcast.com and click on bold beginnings in the menu. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better, and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way, recording, doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way, recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You
Brittany 1:14:14
want rob you.
Please support the sponsors
The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!
