#1335 Five D’s of Dodgeball

Nicole is anxious and very overwhelmed by diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again friends for the next episode of The juicebox podcast.

Nicole is the mother of a 13 year old type one, and she feels anxious and bad about diabetes. Nicole is overwhelmed, and I'm going to talk to her today about it. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation, but please give the private Facebook group for the juicebox podcast, a healthy once over juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com. When you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juice, box. Don't forget, if you're a US resident who has type one or is the caregiver of someone with type one, visit T, 1d exchange.org/juicebox right now and complete that survey. Us. Med is sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast, and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from us med for years. You can as well usmed.com/juice box, or call 888-721-1514, use the link or the number get your free benefits. Check and get started today with us med. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, gvoke hypopen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon.com, forward slash juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's dressing hyperglycemia head on, a topic that often gets overshadowed by the focus on hypoglycemia. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper.

Nicole 2:22
I'm Nicole. I'm 36 and I have three daughters, two of them are from my current marriage, my younger two, and then my oldest daughter is from my first marriage, and she's my type one, so I am her primary care provider. And she's 13. She was diagnosed almost two years ago, exactly so at 11. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:46
the other two girls are no autoimmune at all.

Speaker 1 2:51
Not that I'm aware of their dad, my current husband, has ankylosing spondylitis, and that goes through the males in his family. I know he's got at least two cousins that have that, but they're male, so we're hoping we're in the clear for that.

Scott Benner 3:09
Nicole, do you have like a tattoo on your belly that says, now accepting autoimmune suitors?

Unknown Speaker 3:14
No,

Scott Benner 3:16
did your ex have anything his

Speaker 1 3:19
I think his grandpa had neuropathy later in life, but really, I don't know that that there was anything in that family. The type one definitely comes from my family, and we can get into that as deep as you want to get, but Well, tell me now. Well, it's four generations deep, and I don't want to be deceiving, because I don't know that's like, it's not a direct four generation thing. My grandma had type one, right? I have aunts that are type one, have cousins that are type one, and then my daughter, she's the first great grandchild in this line to get it.

Scott Benner 3:59
And do you know? Do you have any autoimmune

Speaker 1 4:01
I don't not. I don't know of anything. I did try on that on myself, just because I wanted to know if I had I don't know. I don't have anything. Okay, no, nothing.

Scott Benner 4:14
Well, it's interesting that you're like, I don't know what the connection is here, that you're steeped in D over there, like the diabetes is every which way it is. Yeah, no kidding. Gosh, well, I wouldn't be surprised by it. I'm interested though, to see, I'm sorry that I'm speaking about your life like it's a science experiment, but I'm interested to see if the other two girls have any kind of implications. Are they younger right now,

Speaker 1 4:40
me too, and it is on my mind constantly. Yeah, I actually just tested the blood sugar of my youngest daughter two days ago because she was acting funny. And so I am definitely the type of person that is going to do try on that, because I gotta know or else I'll just lose my mind. Yeah? But. Yes, the youngest is four, the other one's eight. I'm just waiting for a good time to do it. I did the at home test on myself, and it was, it was kind of hard to get that much blood out of myself, and so I don't want it to be too dramatic, traumatic for them, but I think in the next year, working with the pediatrician or calling in a blood draw, I'm going to get them tested, because I really, I want to know,

Scott Benner 5:25
yeah, when you get the at home kits, listen, I'm all for testing. I think it's, I think it's a good thing to do. But when you get the at home kits, and the phrase milking is involved, when it's talking about getting blood out of your finger, you're like, Oh, what am I getting involved in here? So I would go to a lab and get a ton if it was, yeah,

Speaker 1 5:45
I think that's, that's where I'm gonna go. It's just scheduling it and getting it all lined up. And I understand, not not fun, but I need to get it done for my sanity.

Scott Benner 5:55
Oh, we'll go back. I was just gonna say, let's go back to your sanity. What do you mean? You think about it all of the time.

Speaker 1 6:01
Well, I don't want to get emotional, and I knew I was going to, because I do this has taken over my life. And I think there's a lot of people that listen to your show that feel the same way,

Scott Benner 6:13
sorry. No, don't be sorry. Just You're gonna make me cry, which is fine, but just, well, if I get quiet, then I'm wiping tears away, but, but what do you mean? It's taken over your life.

Speaker 1 6:24
So I'm her primary care person. She's 13, so she's taken over some of it on on her own. She has a different dad, so she's she's in her household most of the time. Occasionally, she'll go over to his house, and the management over there is very different, and not in a great way. My husband, he's supportive, but he was never really trained to take care of her, because with the diagnosis, they just limited how many people could could do it. So he's pretty hands off, too in the home. So I just feel kind of alone, if you will. In this I have a support system, but when it comes to the nitty gritty of dosing and watching, even just monitoring, it's heavy. It's a lot. So when I say it's taken over my life, I think it's just because I'm the person that's been available to take care of her. Yeah? So it's, it's all on me, yeah?

Scott Benner 7:24
Nicole, I got sick last night. Out of nowhere, people who listen, no, I don't get sick often, but when I do, it hits me fast. And I was actually on the phone last night with Isabel, talking about the possibility of a juice box cruise, which I think is a thing that's actually gonna happen.

Speaker 1 7:41
Stop. I saw it on Facebook. And I don't get on Facebook very often, and I'm so hoping that I can go, oh,

Scott Benner 7:49
I actually think, like, Listen, I'm hoping I can figure it out, but I actually think it's gonna happen. And anyway, between you and I don't go out in the world and say this yet, because I'm still trying to figure it all out. But I mean, I put up a Facebook post that got 500 responses, so I figured, I mean, a lot of them won't end up doing it, but geez, what if a portion of them did? That'd be pretty great. You know,

Unknown Speaker 8:09
it would be amazing.

Scott Benner 8:10
I'm working with a coordinator right now to try to figure out a time in June of 2025, when that'll happen. I guess I should say this, I have not planned for this, but because you and I are talking about it, and this will go into the podcast eventually. If you go to juicebox podcast.com/juice, cruise, and there's actually a website there, you can come with us, but at the moment, that website doesn't exist, but it will by the time this comes out, I guess, well, I'll

Speaker 1 8:39
be watching because I love cruises, and that would be so great for me and my daughter,

Scott Benner 8:45
just to, like, meet other people, right, and to chill out a little bit, yes, yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 8:49
And just really, that's why I love your show so much, and kind of why I wanted to come on is, just like I said, I have a support crew, but just not really to do much, if you know what I mean. And the people that listen to this show understand that, because there's a way to manage your diabetes and be a caregiver, or there's a way just to live like and that's kind of how it is at her dad's house, is he doesn't die. But that's that's different. I do. I call it the juice box way, I'm going to ask you to manage her the juice box. Way, yeah, give

Scott Benner 9:29
me a second. I'm going to say something. I'll ask you about that. And now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion, Terry.

Speaker 2 9:36
How long have you had diabetes? June 2025 it'll be 50 years. I'm very much involved in the diabetic community in a lot of areas, and I helped start the walk here in Lincoln Nebraska, when you were first diagnosed, what was management like? I started out on beef pork insulin, and I tell people jokingly that I used to smell like a bacon cheese. Burger tell me about the impact of Medtronic technology. Finger stick is only a point in time, and that first 20 years for me was extremely difficult because I had high blood sugars all over the place. The CGM, to me, was the lifesaver.

Scott Benner 10:17
Prolonged hyperglycemia can lead to serious health problems and long term complications. Early, inconsistent management of hyperglycemia is critical. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper so I said I was I got sick last night because it overwhelmed me. I was on the phone with Isabelle, and I was like, I gotta get off the phone. I'm dizzy. I felt bad even the way I said it. I'm like, I gotta go, like, and I got off the phone, and I went and sat down next to my wife, and I was like, Are my hands shaking? And she's like, Yeah. And I was like, I said, I don't feel right. I'm like, I was just, I was outside talking to her, like I was cleaning up and doing things. And I said, I took a step forward outside, and I went backwards, and I was like, and my head's swimming, and my hands are shaking, and I'm really hungry. This feels like what people discuss when they say their blood sugar's low, but I mean, I ate something today no differently than the other day. I'm like, That would be weird, but I sat down and basically took like, a fistful of crackers, I over salted them, and I ate because I was like, I felt like I needed salt. I took in a bunch of salt and like and these crackers, and I felt a little better, and then my stomach kind of turned over, and I was like, man, what is happening? But anyway, I'm still a little woozy this morning, like my head's a little floaty, and you said, I'm alone, and I I almost started to cry. So I think it's because I don't feel well. You have me at an advantage today, Nicole, you're gonna, like, this is basically like two ladies who are getting ready to have their period talking and because I'm like, I'm very unstable today. And I don't mean to say women are unstable. Oh my God, here come the Euro misogynist reviews. But you know what I mean? I feel overwhelmed with this at the moment. Okay,

Speaker 1 11:59
I'm unstable. There's no doubt about that. There you go, Nicole,

Scott Benner 12:03
thank you for sticking up with me, for me, with the woke ladies who are gonna yell at me later. And by the way, I don't mind woke it's cool, but like, you don't have to leave a review every time you don't like something. I say it's a

Unknown Speaker 12:17
Yeah.

Scott Benner 12:20
Cruise by. Go, yo. You know what? You might be kidding. I'm a little woozy today, so I'm gonna ask you these questions, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna cry while we're doing it. So just be

Speaker 1 12:28
clear. That means I'm gonna cry too, because I cry when other people cry perfect for no reason. Go for it. Let's What do we got here?

Scott Benner 12:37
We're a worse match than you and your first husband. All right. So good one. Thank you. Because, by the way, the thing you've said so far, that's the funniest, is you called your husband now your current husband, which, in my mind, makes it feel like you're not 100% sure if he's going to be your last husband. Well,

Speaker 1 12:54
I didn't want to say I wanted to definitely differentiate that I've been married twice and that I have three kids from two different guys. But I didn't want to jump in and make you think that I've been married and divorced twice. I have three kids from two different guys. I'm married, I'm happy. I just didn't know how to describe it.

Scott Benner 13:14
No, no, you were absolutely fine. I'm just being silly. Okay, you have a way you're managing your daughter and what are the outcomes like, and how long have you been doing it?

Speaker 1 13:23
So far, we're doing okay. The last six to eight months have been a little rough, which he was diagnosed her ANC was 11.7 and we've gone from five, nine to six, four to five, nine to six, six, and in February it was seven, eight. And I know exactly why she's growing. And some it's crazy. I think, like six, like I said, six to eight months ago, she suddenly needed so much insulin, I was just baffled. We've tripled the insulin use from that. Like, I don't know what's going on with her body. So with that, it's also been kind of sporadic. And so that's kind of where we're at. I know she's doing a little bit better now, and also she she started middle school in the fall, and so with that, she's kind of taken the reins a little bit more as far as figuring out what to dose and which is good, because I like I say I'm losing it. I need more help, and so that means I need her to step up a little bit. So she's been doing pretty good, but just navigating a lot of the changes, and like the insulin use at first was freaking me out. You say, meet meet the need. And so we finally met the need, but you know, I didn't feel comfortable increasing it too quickly, and so I'm hoping. Next appointment, it's, I know it's definitely going to be lower. I hope we we're below seven again.

Scott Benner 15:05
So am I right to say, well, first, let me ask one question, was there a honeymoon period that, looking back, you can see, I

Speaker 1 15:12
don't think so. But again, I don't know, because from what I understand, honeymoon is, is at some point you don't need any insulin. Is that correct? I

Scott Benner 15:20
mean, not necessarily, but it would be, and probably not in most cases. Just like honeymoon would be, you're using a certain amount of insulin, then the next day you notice, geez, my body must be helping, because that was way too much insulin. And then that goes on for a little bit, or it does, and it goes back and forth. It's kind of like, how do I say this? Like if you were driving your car and you were using the accelerator to move the car forward, but every once in a while, an unseen force in front of you started pulling you ahead faster, and you were, like, still pushing on the accelerator. He's like, Oh, now we're going way too fast, because the thing's pulling me and I'm accelerating. So you're bolusing and your pancreas is using, yeah,

Speaker 1 16:00
I get that. You know, it was pretty I don't think so, because

Scott Benner 16:04
you've probably heard me talk about us Med and how simple it is to reorder with us Med, using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you, but I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email because I don't trust myself 100% so one time I didn't respond to the email and the phone rings the house. It's like, ring. You know how it works? And I picked it up. I was like, hello, and it was just the recording was like, US med doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying? It said, Hey, you're I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, Hey, your order's ready. You want us to send it. Push this button if you want us to send it, or if you'd like to wait. I think it lets you put it off, like a couple of weeks, or push this button for that. That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get your free benefits checked now and get started with us, med, Dexcom, OmniPod, tandem, freestyle, they've got all your favorites, even that new islet pump. Check them out now at usmed.com/juice, box, or by calling 888-721-1514, there are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at juicebox podcast.com to us Med and all the sponsors. If you take insulin or sofanylurias, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G Vogue hypopen. My daughter carries gevok hypopen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo hypopin can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store GEVO kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in ardent diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, dot com, slash, juicebox gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke. Glucagon.com/risk, for safety information.

Speaker 1 18:40
It was pretty consistent for the first while. Now, the last month or two, she's had a couple days where we're on this higher, you know, insulin profile, and there'll be a day where she just is low constantly. So no, I don't think that's honeymoon. It's just, it's just weird.

Scott Benner 19:01
So no honeymoon, as far as you can tell. So you're you're working in the beginning, and you're taking care of all the bolusing and everything. And she's also younger, so I would imagine, when she was diagnosed at 11, no period yet, right?

Speaker 1 19:14
Yeah, and still no okay, so that could be part of this whole thing too, yeah.

Scott Benner 19:19
So she's been growing the last couple of years, so you've seen that. And then with the fluctuation A, 1c like, I'm doing the I'm doing the same thing. It's five eight. I'm doing the same thing. It's six four. So there's other needs somewhere that maybe your settings or your your style aren't covering. And now probably, if I had to guess, like, you're gonna see menstruation come at some point here, and maybe then you're gonna, I mean, then it's gonna turn into a different game too. It's gonna probably be, she's almost gonna be like, she's two or three different people every month as far as her insulin needs go. I can't wait, super fun for you. You'll be dead by then. He's just run out into traffic and yell, I give up. I. How old are you again? Tell me 36

Unknown Speaker 20:03
I'm 36 Yeah, okay. How

Scott Benner 20:05
old were you when you got married the first time? Were you young I

Speaker 1 20:08
was, and that was, I mean, looking back, that was the problem. But I was 20 when I married him, but I dated him when I was in high school, so I really didn't date anybody else from the time I was 17 through that. So I was young. Yes,

Scott Benner 20:24
you live in the middle of a field. Why'd you get married when you were 20? Were you pregnant?

Speaker 1 20:28
Well, let me tell you, because I no, I wasn't pregnant. I guess I liked being in a relationship. But my mom, I love her to death, she got married when she was 17 years old. She graduated high school and got married to my dad. They're still married. So as I was dating him, my first husband, I didn't have anybody saying, I think you should date other people. Larry, you know, you're so young, my mom had lived it, and so she was kind of cheering on the relationship. And so I think a lot of that played into it. And if she listens to this, I don't want her to feel like it's her fault by any means, but me, I look at what I've been through, and if my kids did that, I wouldn't be dying, because I'm just I don't know, I wouldn't be cheering them on for your mom, that

Scott Benner 21:21
was the family. Business. Like, that's how we do it, right? Yeah, look, I already and, yeah, it's good, right?

Speaker 1 21:28
And I don't want to go too much into this, because, sure, well, let me just say that I live in Utah, and people around here are Mormon, and you don't have sex till you get married, or at least you're not supposed to. And so I think a lot of that, too came into play. Of we were in this relationship. I had dated this guy for so long, and my mom just was like, Well, why don't you just get married? There's no difference, because at the time, we were living together. And so I think that played into it also.

Scott Benner 21:58
Are you Mormon? Are you just saying that? It kind of rubs off, because it's the attitude. Well,

Speaker 1 22:02
I grew up that way. I'm no longer, but I with our family. I think that was part of it too. Is interesting. How to explain it? No,

Scott Benner 22:13
you explained it. You actually did. Don't worry, there's no more. I was at the point where you were stretching for words, and I thought, she can stop talking about this. I got it so perfect. Was Was he in the church? The first husband? Uh, kind

Speaker 1 22:27
of soon he's grew up in it. But, I mean, I was, I started being inactive when I was about 1415, my parents also about the same time, quit going also. So yeah. I mean, everyone around here is familiar with it. It's hard to explain. No, it's

Scott Benner 22:43
not. I've heard other people talk about it also. I'm huge. I want to say this, and I say this with a lot of I'm endeared by it. I'm huge in the Mormon community. My podcast,

Unknown Speaker 22:52
I've heard you say that, and I think it's true.

Scott Benner 22:55
Well, I didn't make it up. I think I just was like, Hey, here's here's a flex I'm gonna make my podcast is huge with a warm with Mormons. I mean, we've gone through it a couple of times with different people who are in the church, and I think they just, they're very they're very open and sharing what's working for them with each other. And I think it kind of it just super friendly people

Speaker 1 23:20
care about other people, even if they don't know. I'm, I mean, it's, it's a really great place to live,

Scott Benner 23:25
yeah, all right, so why did I ask you that? Holy crap. Oh, because I wanted to know how young you were when you started forming that relationship. Because I'm wondering if your emotional response right now is rooted back there. So did you have, like, your first big trauma in your 1718, 1920, age, and are you maybe stuck there a little bit, like, because this sucks, but you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be this run over by it. Like, you know what I mean by that? I'm sure you feel that too, right? Like you feel like you should have a different handle on this.

Speaker 1 23:59
Yeah, there wasn't really any trauma. I just feel like with diagnosis, he was there the whole time, and he comes to all of her appointments. He just, it just doesn't seem like he cares. And I hope he listens to this. I've been begging him to start listening to this podcast, because it would do wonders for her to have him on board. But, and I don't want to badmouth him by any means, we get along fine. It's just when I say things aren't great over there, we're talking three, 400 plus range,

Scott Benner 24:36
and when you say he doesn't care. Do you really think he doesn't care? Like no,

Speaker 1 24:40
but I think it is it. I know it's heavy and it's hard, and I think a lot of times situations like that, he just kind of ignores the problem because it's easier just to pretend it's not happening. And and I feel honest in saying that, because when she's low, nobody wakes up a. Over there to help her. I am the one calling from my house to wake her up to make sure she's okay. It's just really frustrating. So I just I'm so involved in her life and her care, it's hard for me to see her own father not even show like he's trying. I don't know, is

Scott Benner 25:19
it more that, or is it more that you feel helpless when she's with him?

Speaker 1 25:24
Oh, because she is taking some of this on her own, but she's still too young. She's really reliant on me, yeah, and I've been trying to, you know, give her a little more here and there. I mean, still she she can put her on her own Dexcom, but she doesn't, and her pump site, she doesn't do her own and for a lot of people, that's really weird, because most of the time, once you're, you know, a teenager, it's like, I don't want my mom to have to do everything for me, but she kind of does.

Scott Benner 25:57
Yeah, Arden does her own stuff, obviously now, and has for a number of years, but we did it together for a long time. It wasn't, it wasn't strange here. I also was a stay at home dad her whole life, so I don't know that it was as weird for her to like, you know, pull her pants down and, like, be standing there in her underwear or something like that, like, while I put something on her hip or something back back then she she was never in the least bit uncomfortable about it. I also, can I stick up for men for a second? Go for it. Yes. Part of that thing that makes us look like we don't care about things that head down, go forward attitude. It's very valuable in other parts of life. I just want to say, well,

Speaker 1 26:36
let me Yeah, I agree totally, because that's how my husband is right. He's great, and he works hard and he provides, and he does some so many things, but he doesn't really help manage the diabetes, and a lot of it is because my daughter that's not really how their relationship is. My daughter doesn't want to go to him to say, hey, stepdad, will you put this pump site on my butt, you know? Like, yeah, sure, he's their connections different, and so I totally get what you're saying, because he's very much put your head down and grind, and he does so much for us. So I don't want to, like, say that he's verbal by any means. I'll

Scott Benner 27:16
put I'll shine it on me for a second, right? Like, I think if you listen to this podcast, you would think of me as a fairly connected, emotionally mature man, right? Yeah, okay, fair statement. My wife doesn't think of me that way. She thinks I'm an idiot that puts my head down and goes forward and I don't pay attention to a goddamn thing. I just go, go, go, go, go. And I'm like, oh, we'll just knock it over, kill it, or go around it. That's the pressure that comes, I don't know, innately, maybe even with being a man like I feel like this is all on me, which is ridiculous, because my wife makes a decent living, and we are a 5050, you know, split here, as far as you know, responsibilities and all that stuff. But I still, if you, if you got me into a quiet room and asked me to answer and said, Who's this on? I'd tell you, it's on me. And the way, and the way that manifests through me is by not giving up, killing what's in front of me, winning, like that whole thing. Now, if you went and found my wife and said, Hey, who's this on? She'd be like, listen, it's all on me. That guy's a idiot, okay? And so, like, like, if I fall apart, we're dead. I don't know what he could accomplish on his own. And so she'll think that, but her response is different. She feels it is stress, right? And she feels it as pressure, and she feels it as a responsibility, and I know all that, but it's not how I feel it. I feel it like a challenge.

Unknown Speaker 28:47
Okay, you know,

Scott Benner 28:49
okay, right? And now I've had a ton of these conversations where ex husbands don't do a good job managing their kids diabetes. And I always think that if you contextualize guys a little bit, I'm generalizing, obviously, but unless you get those more connected men, I guess, or, god, I'm trying not to say this in an insulting way, because I don't think of it as an insulting way. But how would they have said it 10 years ago? More metasexual, like, like, a little more blended, like, you know, with your feelings and things like that. Like, if you've got one of those guys, you'll probably be all right, but they're still guys, and they still think, I don't know what I'm doing. I can't learn this, and I'm gonna screw it up, and if I screw it up, I'm gonna hurt her, and maybe better, I keep my hands off of that. Now, that's not everybody, but I think that's a fairly common response from men, and then you put the divorce in there, and it gets a little worse, even, you know what I mean, because, like, I don't want to mess it up, because she'll yell at me, like, like and like, that kind of feeling like, you know, yeah, Nicole, I'm not saying anything that's crazy. Yeah, right, yeah. Having said that, I he should buck up and. It like, like, I think

Speaker 1 30:01
so. I mean, if you don't wake up to your alarms, I know that's a problem for a lot of people, but I just ordered one of those sugar Pixel THINGs and set it up in our kitchen to test it out. And that thing is so annoying and so loud, he ought to get one of those so he can wake up in the night when she's at his house and help her, so I don't have to be the one doing it. You know what I mean,

Scott Benner 30:24
did you happen to buy that sugar pixel with my link?

Speaker 1 30:28
I'm sure I did, because very much, a few weeks ago, I was, I was bitten to my husband, like, the same thing, I need help. This is so annoying and so hard and like, I don't sleep, none of my sleep. So I he's like, there's got to be something. And in my head, I think, oh, you know there might be. So I hopped on the next day and I just ordered it, thinking I'm desperate. I got to get something, yeah, but maybe, maybe I'll give it to

Scott Benner 30:54
him. Well, you know what for? What is it? $99

Unknown Speaker 30:58
yeah,

Scott Benner 30:59
maybe it's maybe, would he use it, or would he see it as the thing is, I don't know, yeah, see it as an insult, or is he not that he seems like a decent guy from your explanation,

Speaker 1 31:09
I think he would see it as an insult. But he is a decent guy. I just we're different, and we think different, and I think I don't know this, but I think it bothers him when I'm constantly texting them and telling them what to do and and I really try to stay out of their business when she's over there. Like, I'm not talking if she goes over 150 I'm calling saying, Hey, you got to do something. It's okay. You're over 250 and you've been over 250 for three hours. Like, come on, guys, this isn't good. Or the Dexcom clearly the readings are looking funny, and it's eight, 910, at night, and they still haven't changed it. It's like, okay, guys, it's the two hour warm up. Don't you want to figure this out before you go to bed? Or, you know, those lows. So that's, that's where it is. It's not just little things. Is

Scott Benner 32:06
she not in a position to say to him, Hey, what are we doing here? Or do you think she likes the break?

Speaker 1 32:12
I think both. I think she likes the break because it's definitely more fun over there. They do whatever they want, and they stay up late and they go out to eat, and mean, they do a lot of things that we don't do in my house, we're definitely more structured. But at the same time, her and I are pretty connected, because we do this all day long. Yeah, and I think in the back of her mind she knows, like we got to do something, but there is something there that she doesn't really want to tell her dad what to do or bring it up, or she may be nervous to say something. I definitely see both of those things. Have

Scott Benner 32:54
you tried having this conversation with her to see if she can help move it along? Over there, at

Speaker 1 32:59
first, I would contact your dad when she was over there and say, Hey, this is what you need to do. Now I just text her directly and say, Hey, give yourself a couple units, or I'll tell her or ask her, are you guys planning to change your Dexcom tonight? Or, you know, that's

Scott Benner 33:18
right out of the boy playbook. That was good. That's well done by him. He just ignored you, do you just left him alone about it? Well, now we do that just

Speaker 1 33:26
after so long of nothing happening, and honestly, it's got to the point where he just ignores a lot of the things I say. So I just, I just go to her directly.

Scott Benner 33:38
I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because I once said to a another woman in my life was like, that's a lot of demands from a lady who doesn't have sex with

Speaker 1 33:48
me well, and I, you know, if I put myself in his shoes, honestly, he has a new wife and a stepson, and here's the ex wife always hounding in telling him what to do. I get it? Yeah, it's just, I just wish they'd try a little harder, and I don't know that they know any better. Oh,

Scott Benner 34:07
okay, so that's a good question, like, and by the way, I want to say I'm not discounting that, like he's also hearing from his wife about the things they need to do together, and then suddenly he's probably got pressure to be like, listening to her, and he's only got so many hours in the day. But the thing about not wanting to understand the diabetes, that's the part you're never going to explain to me, because it doesn't take that much to figure out, especially in this situation. And he could easily do it. The three of you could easily be in a chain, a text chain, right? And you wouldn't think it would take many experiences for him to realize what he should be doing. So if you, if you won't take the time to realize it, that's one thing. If he understands it and he won't do it, that's another thing. So which is it, or is it all? I

Speaker 1 34:54
think it's a combination of all of it. He is, like, I don't. Know if you were recording when we said this, but when she goes over there, she doesn't die. She, you know, she's alive, but it's just like, not healthy,

Scott Benner 35:10
right? Yeah, high blood sugar.

Speaker 1 35:13
The doctor taught him that's, that's all he knows. Is, what the doctor taught him is, you dose for carps and, yeah.

Scott Benner 35:19
So in fairness, Nicole, does he think that you're doing some hocus pocus thing from a podcast, and he's following the doctor? I

Speaker 1 35:25
wish I knew. I wish he would just tell me, because I've sent him specific episodes like the tug of war. That's genius. It just makes so much sense. And it's a small, short episode. I'm like, just listen to this, because it, you know, it's the insulin timing or bumping edge, or, you know, just even the fact, like, if he could hear what you've done with Arden and insulin timing, understanding insulin, it's not that hard. I I don't even remember what you asked me.

Scott Benner 36:00
I wondered if there's a world in which he thinks he's doing the right thing and you're doing something crazy you learned on the internet. Oh

Speaker 1 36:06
yeah, it could be. And, like I said, if he would just say that, then that's that's one thing. But I feel like I'm just being ignored. Also,

Scott Benner 36:16
you could come off as and I don't mean this in the way that everyone listening is going to take it, but I feel like I have a good vibe with you, Nicole, so I could say this. I feel like it's possible you come off a little crazy to him. Oh, sure, okay, because I've been in your position, so I know how it can look from the other side. Like I told that story about, like, going into Arden's elementary school before she started kindergarten, like I would in like, six months before she was there to start explaining diabetes to them, and they, 1,000,000% looked at me like I was out of my mind.

Speaker 1 36:49
Okay, let me say this, I am forever grateful that I found your show. But sometimes I wonder, if I didn't find your show, would I be this crazy? Probably not, because seeing the spikes go up and down, I wouldn't know any better finding your show. I know there's a better way, and I know that that way is is honestly not that hard, right? Yeah, I've

Scott Benner 37:12
been making ladies crazy since I was younger, even if you ask Kelly, everything is wrong with her is my fault. So I think there's that I take your point like, you know, you can bury your head and, you know, the nice way to say this is, right, you can stick your head in the sand, and then you just don't know. And that's maybe what he's doing to some degree. I think that's what most people are doing to some degree, because, yeah,

Speaker 1 37:36
and she doesn't go over there often. I mean, we're talking every other weekend, and every once in a while they go to dinner. So it's, it's not a ton, yeah.

Scott Benner 37:45
Like, it's fun to blame me, and I don't mean blame in that way, but you can't tell me that people who have never heard this podcast don't see a 300 blood sugar test for it. See it for three hours in a row, and don't think, Huh, there's got to be a better way to do this. Like, there has to be some degree of blissful, willful ignorance involved at some point, like, not, maybe not on day one or something. But I mean, a couple of years into it, you got to start asking yourself some tough questions. And if you're not asking those questions, are you not asking them on purpose? You know?

Speaker 1 38:16
Yep, I think that's what it is. I really do. I think sometimes, if hard things come up, like I said, it's just easier to turn the other cheek and just not the attention duck

Scott Benner 38:27
dodge, dive and

Speaker 1 38:28
and the crazy ex wife is there to wake her up in the middle of night. So yeah, Dino di I'm always watching Nicole. I'm

Scott Benner 38:38
definitely calling your episode. What does that duck, dodge. What is that from that that movie? Hold on a second. Does

Speaker 1 38:44
everyone ask me, I am my brain is right.

Scott Benner 38:50
What do you do to to relax?

Unknown Speaker 38:52
I don't know. Garden.

Scott Benner 38:54
Hold on a second. It's dodge, duck, dip, dive, and it's from the movie, dodgeball, the 5d

Speaker 1 39:02
Okay, we're gonna have to watch that. All right. I've seen it, but I'm gonna have to watch it.

Scott Benner 39:07
All right. So the five DS, I'm either gonna call your episode the five DS, or I'm gonna call it dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge. That might be it,

Speaker 1 39:14
and I'm the crazy person checking the ball that the ex husband or what? No, that's

Scott Benner 39:18
your husband avoiding diabetes. Your ex husband avoiding diabetes? Oh, okay, okay, yeah, because my other option was crazy ex wife, and I don't think that the ladies would treat me well if I call so I don't want to beat the crazy. You're also not crazy. You're in a you're in a very unique and difficult situation. So going all the way back, yes,

Speaker 1 39:37
it's a unique spot, and I knew that's kind of why I wanted to come on the show is because there's very few people that understand what I'm going through, and those people listen to your show.

Scott Benner 39:47
Oh, for sure, yeah, we're a hell of a group over here. People just inundated. But now, how do we so first of all, you garden to relax. I

Speaker 1 40:00
don't know. I just was trying to think of something because I honestly don't do much for myself. So that is something that I enjoy, but to relax, yeah, I don't know. I like my coffee in the morning. And,

Scott Benner 40:12
no, that's not what we're talking about, Nicole. I'm talking about, like, weed or whacking it or something like that. Like, what are you really doing to, like, lose some stress? You know what? I mean, I

Unknown Speaker 40:19
don't know. That's something I gotta figure out. A

Scott Benner 40:21
lot of that stuff is free, by the way, yeah, well,

Speaker 1 40:28
I also have little kids at home, so maybe once my youngest gets in school and I have a little bit more time to focus on myself, I think I need a hobby. I gotta find something.

Scott Benner 40:39
No Weed. You wouldn't do the weed.

Speaker 1 40:42
I wouldn't say no to it. I mean, it's obviously illegal here and in my community, not really looked upon. Now i i know if i wanted some, I know I could get it right away. I don't know. I don't really want to smoke anything I'd love, like, maybe a gummy or something, but I've never tried that, that that might be my thing, Scott, this is the thing you've considered. I've definitely considered it because I love, like, a glass or two of wine, not necessarily the wine, but how it makes me feel. So that's definitely a chill out for sure.

Scott Benner 41:20
Okay, yeah, no. I mean, listen, no, I'm being funny. But like, there's got to be something that you can put your people are like, do you think you're really being funny? Because I guarantee if my son does this to be like, You're not funny the way you think you are. But I'm just trying to be like, lighthearted and say, like, you gotta find something that just, like, takes it away for a little bit. And I don't want you to turn into like, a, like, a day drinker. So, right,

Speaker 1 41:39
yeah, like, You're preaching to the choir. Like, I know I'm definitely missing something, and it's something I gotta figure out, for sure, the idea

Scott Benner 41:48
of like, I don't not understand the idea of, like, well, when this one gets old, or when this happens, or something like that, but that's the quick way to be in 45 and having like, you know, angina. So like,

Speaker 1 41:59
I know there's a lot of things that I enjoy, but oftentimes, if I do leave, then I'm always thinking about the kids back at home. Like, I love to travel and I love to hike and ski, and I mean, where we live, there's so many great outdoor outdoor activities and and things, but it's just breaking away in my mind, mentally to be like, okay, the kids are okay, like, you can go have fun.

Scott Benner 42:22
The problem is trying to get lost in one of those things. Like, it's not really exactly the thing you're doing, it's the ability to lose yourself in it. Yeah, that's why you go. That's why people go to things where you can't stop, but to lose yourself in it. Like, that kind of an idea, right? So

Speaker 1 42:37
my daughter does play volleyball. My oldest the diabetic, and so I kind of we, we travel all over the place, and that's become a good thing for me, because I do kind of lose myself in it, and I'm there to help her. And is it something I would just do for fun? No, but, I mean, I really do enjoy it, so I think right now that would be one of the things that is it's good for me to escape,

Scott Benner 43:04
is there a way to build a support system around yourself, so much so that you could take a weekend or an overnight, yeah?

Speaker 1 43:11
Oh, yeah. I mean, and we have before I've left, who's

Scott Benner 43:15
who's we you taking your husband with you? I mean, my husband. I meant by yourself. I meant by yourself,

Speaker 1 43:21
all by myself. Yeah, I could, but I don't know if I'd want it. I don't I don't love being by myself. I don't know if I'd want to do something like

Scott Benner 43:28
that, no, but yeah, I equally enjoy being with people and being by myself. Like, I can see the value in both of those things. Like, I like solitude, and I like to be able to, like, disappear into my own head and do things, and I very much like to be around people and talk and I and it's funny, because I have a son and a wife who are not as into chatting, and then Arden, who talks all the time, like, like, more like me. And so like, I don't have as much opportunity. Like, I have three people around me, but two of them are kind of like, Oh, he's talking, you know what? I mean, you know? Then they'll say things like, I don't understand how people listen to your podcast. And I'm like, a lot of people really like it. And I'm like, You guys are obviously not one of them. Like, I said to my wife the other day, like, have you ever heard the podcast? She's like, No,

Unknown Speaker 44:19
that's crazy to me, but

Unknown Speaker 44:23
whatever she's, like, I've heard enough of you

Unknown Speaker 44:27
that's funny,

Scott Benner 44:28
I imagine. But yeah, like she's, I mean, once or twice I've been like, Hey, listen to this. For this like thing she would just not like, I was telling her about something I did with Erica the other day, and I actually said to her, I'm like, I think you'd be proud of me. I think there's a version of me you don't even know that you'd hear if you listen to this episode. And she's like, I am not doing that. That's funny. But anyway, like, I like the idea of you. I mean, if you don't like being alone, Fair's fair, right? But I was counting on the new, not the new. Husband, but your husband to like to take care of the kids so that you could feel truly comfortable and let it go.

Unknown Speaker 45:08
Oh yeah, it could happen. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:10
But why not do that? Then explain to me, Nicole, why that hasn't happened. It's because you've, you've, you have self identified as either crazy or overwhelmed 10 times since we've been talking both, both. So why don't you do something to alleviate that? I

Speaker 1 45:25
think it's just binding, finding what it is that I want, just leaving and being alone. That doesn't sound like any fun of me.

Scott Benner 45:34
Why? What would happen?

Speaker 1 45:35
I think I'd just be bored. Like, I just don't really like being alone,

Scott Benner 45:39
but I'm gonna paint you. I

Unknown Speaker 45:40
like, Okay, go for

Scott Benner 45:41
it. You head off to a little like a hotel, a hotel that has like a walking trail, a little hiking trail to you go, you unpack, you go for a hike, you come back, you take a shower, you go down to the spa. You have a sit in the in the hot and then they give you a little rub, maybe you get your nails done, and you go sit and have a nice dinner. You put your headphones on, you listen to some music while you sit at dinner, or you read something by yourself. You eat slowly, and then you go out again and take a nice nighttime stroll. You go to bed early, and then you wake up in the morning and you take a nice shower, you head out for a breakfast, and then you head back home. Like, how would that not be nice?

Speaker 1 46:24
That would be good. That would be nice. Yeah, do that. Then. Okay, maybe I should try it. Do

Scott Benner 46:29
it. I mean, what the hell do I have to set this up for you? I mean, I'm not, I'm

Unknown Speaker 46:33
not pretty crazy.

Scott Benner 46:35
Your life's pretty what?

Speaker 1 46:37
We're just busy. And I hate to even say that, because everybody's busy, but yeah, I can do that. I could take a night and do that.

Scott Benner 46:44
Do you think you're more busy than I am? I don't know. It's interesting when you think about other people's lives, isn't it like and you wonder, and

Speaker 1 46:53
I hate to complain about diabetes, and I really don't, because I know everybody has their thing. You know, this is just mine.

Scott Benner 47:01
I have a list of things in front of me on my giant whiteboard that I'm considering doing for the podcast. And one of the things I'm considering doing is short episodes where I just let people come on and just bitch for 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 47:14
That would be pretty entertaining. I think you should try a few.

Scott Benner 47:17
Yeah, no, I might. I might. That's one of my that's one of my ideas. I can't tell you the rest of them, because I know you people are listening and you'll rip me off. I actually saw someone rip me off the other day, and I was like, Oh, it's so blatant. And then I went and checked their stats, and nobody listens to the thing. And I was like, Huh. But anyway, that sorry that sounded so how did that sounds small, whatever. Okay, so we could give you, like, a day, like just the like, 24 hours, I think is a big deal. I think it's restorative. And you come home, you're relaxed, you hear some stories about how things went well, you know, you leave absolute direction with the husband and the kids. You go, Look, do not call me if you do not text me nothing, I am going to assume everything is perfect, and if it's not, you better figure it out for yourself, like that thing, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, please have you. Does your husband know where you're at? Yes,

Speaker 1 48:13
very much, because I'm pretty vocal about it, especially when my daughter's gone and and we see these crazy numbers, or he hears the alarms on my phone, and he's like, Oh, is she high or low?

Scott Benner 48:26
Is he helpful? Like, with you and how you feel? Like, is it? Has he said anything useful or valuable, or anything he's

Speaker 1 48:34
he sees he's willing to help. But I just think it takes too much time to be where I'm at. And I look at it this way too. She's 13, almost 14. She's going to be out of the house sooner than later. And so it's like, Well, okay, well, let me just say, if this happened, if she was diagnosed, I don't even know younger, I would be going to the court system and getting something set up to change the divorce decree for the visitation and things just to say, if he can't show that he can manage her diabetes in a help healthy way, she can't go she can't stay overnight, you know, things like that, because of her age. I just, I don't know if it's worth he, he's really busy. He has multiple companies, and what you're always working, and he No my current he, and he's just kind of overwhelmed with working. And he's the provider. He does so much for us. And so to have him, you know, take a step back and to help me. I just, I don't, I don't see it.

Scott Benner 49:46
I mean, I only meant, like, has he ever said to you, Hey, Nicole, maybe you should try this or that, or seriously, like, just an idea. Has he ever just said like, hey, let's play Jenga tonight? Or like, no, no. He just

Speaker 1 49:59
stayed. The obvious, obvious. He just says you should chill out about my ex. He just says he's got, he's got to find a way to figure that out. Or with my daughter, she's got to find a way to wake wake up on her own. And it's like, Duh, like, I get that. I wish

Scott Benner 50:13
find a way to wake up on your own. Yeah? When you're 13, that ain't happening. Okay? So boys now, they're always the problem at some way or another, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, I'm one. I know I'm not that helpful in my own life, and I try really hard to be, but it's taken me decades to figure it out. Like, I really I'm being serious. Like, it's easy for me to philosophize and talk about it, but then, like, putting it into practice is, is always challenging. Would you consider yourself anxious? Oh, yes,

Speaker 1 50:44
that's the other thing is, I should be medicated. I really need to.

Speaker 1 50:54
I have been on and off of prescription for a lot of my life. I am not on it right now. I know it would help, so that's probably step one. I gotta do that again, just

Scott Benner 51:07
for anxiety or for depression, or what are we talking about? Um, I think

Speaker 1 51:11
it's an antidepressant, but it helps with my anxiety. It, I don't know how to it just kind of gives me an extra couple seconds to breathe before I react. I think it would help me clear my my thoughts a little bit. It's hard to explain, but I've been on and off of it for all half of my life.

Scott Benner 51:33
Let me ask you, or is what you're saying? Is that that like that adrenaline doesn't hit you right away, so you don't freak out before you can actually think,

Speaker 1 51:42
yeah, like, I've got a real angry person. Like, I'm probably the opposite, but road rage, there'll be times like, if somebody does something stupid, I'm like, Oh, what an idiot. You know, if I'm on my medicine, I don't, I just don't even think about it.

Scott Benner 51:58
I love complaining in the car. It's one of my favorite things to do. I don't get actually upset, but I love to complain about it. I think we all do. I think we all love pointing out what other people are doing wrong, and the car is the best place to do it because they can't see you or hear you. Yeah, no one knows you're being insane. Like, like, you know, so you're just like, Oh, why would they change lanes right there? Why? Explain to me why, like, just let it go, but you're actually upset when it's over, yeah?

Speaker 1 52:25
Or, like, I revisit it in my mind multiple times, like that was so annoying. They're so dumb. Or I do something dumb. Why do I can't just let it go. Later in

Scott Benner 52:36
the day, you'll be like that. Why did they change lanes like that? Oh yeah. Oh No kidding, oh yeah. Maybe,

Speaker 1 52:43
like, if I do something stupid, then I'm like, Oh man, that was still dumb of me, and I'll revisit it.

Scott Benner 52:48
Beat yourself up. Yeah, I have never thought about anything I've done wrong after. I mean the big stuff, yes, but not, like, not little things. I would never, I would just, I would, oh, my God. I would never treat myself that way, because that's how I would see it. I would see it as treating myself poorly. Also making mistakes is just part of being alive. Like I think of it as as practice or as an experience. I don't think of it as a failure or anything. I mean, I mean if I hit someone in my car and buried their body, I would think of it as a failure. Think of it as a failure, but, like, but like, but if I just did something, or had a weird thought, or, you know, did something, I don't look back on it and and beat myself up, yeah, I wouldn't do that. Yeah. Hmm, interesting. Is that a diagnosed thing through a doctor? No,

Speaker 1 53:41
I'm I do think it's something. I'm just not one to go to the doctor and just spend the time to do stuff like that. I I've heard you talk about ADHD, and could I have it, maybe. But it's like, is it self diagnosed or not? I just think it's just this constant overwhelm, and my brain is just so full of so much stuff, and there's so many moving parts, and it's just, I think being on the medicine would be good for me, just to chill out a little bit. And it doesn't make me like a bump on a log, but, you know, I gotta get back on it.

Scott Benner 54:15
It dulls you a little bit, and you don't like that. That's what I hear people say. You feel dull. Yeah,

Speaker 1 54:20
it can honestly, I just, I, I've been on and off of it. I tried not to be on it when I'd been pregnant. And so

Scott Benner 54:29
who are you getting to give you the prescription?

Speaker 1 54:32
Usually, I get it from my OB, really, yeah, he's the dealer. But I don't, I don't really see another doctor. Like, that's, that's kind of my doctor.

Scott Benner 54:42
I got one doctor. You understand I do. It's the truth. I make sort of hooch is okay, and nothing else I care about now. Like, wait and what is she? What she giving you, like, Zoloft or something like

Unknown Speaker 54:53
that. Um, this is called Beautiful,

Scott Benner 54:57
yeah, Lexapro, cetalopram. I got it. Like, my wife worked on that drug right out of college.

Speaker 1 55:02
My sister's on it, my mom's on it, my dad's on it. Like, oh, there's certainly things in my family. Like, yeah, we're, I need to be on it.

Scott Benner 55:14
You are. Can I say something lovely about you, please? Yeah, you're like, I wish someone would. I'm going to right now, Nicole, you're walking on both sides of that line. Like, usually when I talk to somebody who's really anxious, there's a frenetic value to them that you don't have, like you almost look like a person who's not anxious describing their twin who's anxious. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 55:38
Yeah, in a way, I think I'm just so used to it. It's interesting.

Scott Benner 55:43
It feels like you manage it well without managing it

Speaker 1 55:46
well, that's been my goal, honestly, is I didn't want to be on something forever my whole life. So I have been in therapy, and I have done things. So I have been trying actively to just be off of it and live and try to stay pretty steady. And I think I've, I've done a decent job, but this diagnosis in the last couple years has just thrown me. And it's probably, I probably got to try it again.

Scott Benner 56:15
Your daughter. Have any of this? Is there any concern this is going to land on her?

Speaker 1 56:18
Oh my gosh. She is so anxious. And, yeah, I just don't know. We've tried therapy. She's just not really, like, we'd go and she'd just sit there and not talk. And yeah, there's a lot I could say about that. She's She struggles, for sure, I'm

Scott Benner 56:38
not in therapy, but I would love it. You would well, because the conversations I get to have every day, I have to be worried about, like, if other people are enjoying them, and if they're answering other people's questions. But I think I would thrive in an environment where you were like, just tell me about you. For an hour. I'd be like, Oh, my God, finally. And I know people are like, buddy, I think that's what the podcast is, but I don't I would, I would love that. Oh my gosh, but I don't know if there's any value. I mean, I'm sure there is. I'm sure there'd be plenty of value. But also, I do those episodes with Erica, which she would be quick to point out, she's not my therapist, but I find them very helpful, actually?

Speaker 1 57:20
Yes, I bet. Well, and you get to talk to a lot of people like that, seems almost therapy in itself, I would think, but maybe, since it's work for you,

Scott Benner 57:30
no, I love that way. Even talking to you about this, I know there's value for me in this.

Speaker 1 57:37
Oh, there's huge value for me. I mean, connection is, it's important. I think it's therapeutic. What

Scott Benner 57:45
I'm saying is, I think I get something out of this conversation, and whatever I think I'm getting out of it. I imagine other people are getting out of it as well. Like, that's kind of how I approach it. I don't know like, and when I sit down here, I always like, when I talk about things, I always talk about things from a perspective of, like, I think this is something people listening to a diabetes podcast would want to know about. Like, I don't like, talk about some of my other thoughts that are outside of this space, you know what I mean. Like, I've never really, like, sat down and really discussed what I thought AI is gonna do for the world. Or, like, you know what I mean, or, or this crazy woman that I saw outside of a pet store recently, and how it's possible that I believe that her reaction to an everyday situation might be the reason why we won't move forward as a species like I don't get to have those conversations here, but I have those thoughts I just don't think people would. Can I tell you this one? We're kind of at the end. Let's make sure that I've covered everything you want, and then I'll tell you this weird story. So, so is there anything we haven't talked about that you wanted to talk

Speaker 1 58:47
about? Not really. I mean, I have my notes in front of me. I just talking about how, oh yeah, I have notes. Tell

Scott Benner 58:54
me about them. What? What didn't we What didn't we talk about? Well,

Speaker 1 58:58
I just had notes about growing up seeing my grandma always, you know, give herself shots before eating, and my aunt's having pump so like it's been in the family, and I I've seen it, and my daughter, when she was diagnosed, was in DKA, and it's just like you'd think that I would have known better, you know, but I didn't grow it up with it in my home, though, I think that's kind of the answer there is, I didn't have a mom or anyone in my home like that. It was just my grandma and a few times a year. But still I just, I don't beat myself up about it, but in my head, I'm like, I didn't, why didn't I see something sooner? That's one of my

Scott Benner 59:40
notes. That's just you beating yourself up about something, that's just me

Speaker 1 59:43
being a parent, going, how could it get so bad? I mean, she had to be lifelighted like it was just, it was a really bad situation. I just wish I could have caught it sooner.

Scott Benner 59:55
I understand you wish that, but Nicole, you've heard enough people talk that to realize that they're probably. Was no way for it to occur to you, right, right? Yeah, yep. Do you? Are you more pissed at your anxiety? Because for all the things that makes you think about it, how did it not help you with this? Well,

Speaker 1 1:00:09
when it happened, I really it was me like, I this was all going on, and nobody was like, You should take her to the hospital. You should have her checked out. Everyone was saying, Oh, she'll be fine, or call the director in the morning. And it was me that was like, no, like, something's really wrong. I gotta take her. And so I'm glad I did that at that point. But I don't know, is that anxiety?

Scott Benner 1:00:36
Oh, of course it is. And there's nothing wrong with a little bit of anxiety. It's when you get too much of it. Anxiety is that thing that makes you pay attention to stuff? Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:00:46
yeah. Well, good thing. I paid attention because who knows what would have happened. Oh, no,

Scott Benner 1:00:51
it's great. I just, I was joking, almost saying, isn't it absolutely shitty that the anxiety makes you think about so many things, but it didn't help you enough with this one thing. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 1:01:01
it probably did help me in some regard, because if I couldn't kick it, I would have gone to bed that night and woke up in the morning, and who knows what the situation was, the anxiety is what made me take her to the ER. So

Scott Benner 1:01:16
then the question is, why don't you give yourself credit for that instead of feeling badly about it?

Speaker 1 1:01:21
Well, I'm trying. I just think it needs to come down a little bit

Scott Benner 1:01:26
the try here, the trying angle baffles my little brain. Watch this. I'm giving you credit for it. Accept that and move on. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm gonna move on. Never think about it again. You saved your daughter's life. I did, yeah, but not you didn't ignore it until it was in a bad situation. You didn't know about it, and as soon as you knew she was in a bad situation, you followed your instincts and you saved her life, probably because if she had to be life flighted at that situation, then you're right, overnight might have done her in. She could have died in her sleep from DKA, right, right. Why are we not celebrating what you've done?

Unknown Speaker 1:02:02
Good question. Here's the tears again.

Scott Benner 1:02:05
Oh, cry. Oh, we're good. Cry. Feel good about it like it's there's that very what does it make me think of I've been talking a lot about women applying for jobs in our house recently, because my wife just switched jobs, and it brings up the topic, my son's looking for work, etc. And there's that stat that says that men will apply for jobs they know they're not qualified for, but women won't apply for jobs they know they're overqualified for. Yes, fascinating. That's fascinating. There's almost nothing you could say to me, Hey, Scott, can you do this that? I wouldn't go, Yeah, I'll figure it out. You know, I wrote a book. Yes,

Speaker 1 1:02:39
I do. And I'd like to find it. I would really like to read it.

Scott Benner 1:02:43
You can get like, you can get like, a digitally, no problem. But that's not the point. But the point is this, a publisher got on the phone with me and said, Hey, you want to write a book? And I said, Yes. And they said, well, great, we want you to write a book about diabetes. This is a long time ago, and I said, I don't want to write a book about diabetes. I want to write a book about being a stay at home parent. I parent. And they were like, give us an outline. So I gave them an outline, and then we got back on a call, and I went over the outline, and they said, that's great. We're gonna pay you. Oh, God, what was it back then, I paid $5,000 to turn in the manuscript. So I worked for six months for five grand. So if anybody thinks like I made a bunch of money, and I got all done, and I called my wife at work, and I said, I'm gonna write a book. And she's like, can you write a book? And I said, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:32
I heard you talk about this.

Scott Benner 1:03:34
Yeah, if I can, I'll just give him the money back. And my wife was like, Uh, okay. Chuckles. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she never would have done that, but my wife's, oh yeah, fantastic technical writer, but she would have been like, I don't know how to write a book. And I was like, I don't know how to write a book, but Sure, I'll do it like and so, yeah, my point here is, is that, is that you did this thing. Just accept it and and celebrate it, and keep going like, Why are you beating yourself up about something that you didn't know anything about when you have when once you, I mean, you still didn't know anything about it, but you followed your instincts and you decided to do something, and it ended up being monumental for your daughter's life. And but when you described it to me, you described it as described it as a

Speaker 1 1:04:24
failure, yeah, yeah, interesting, right? Yeah, it's interesting. It's just my personality. I guess I don't like to boast. Your boast,

Scott Benner 1:04:33
you know, boast that's not boasting. That's just the facts. Lady, that's what you did. You're right, yeah, god damn right. I would celebrate much less than that. I once built an enclosure for my chameleon by myself, and I acted like I resurrected the Empire State Building. I was like, Look what I did. My wife's like, it's a box. And I'm like, I know, but I did it. Yeah, so anyway, all right, let me tell you this story about the lady who's gonna hold back the world. Sure. All right, I was coming out of a pet store, and I saw a Tesla owner use something so use something called the summon feature to have their car, pull itself out of its parking lot, parking spot, move through the parking lot and come up to the front of the building and park in front of them. And then they went and got into the car. And so I don't know if everybody knows that that's a thing, but you can, apparently, pull out an app on your phone, make sure the app knows where you're standing, and then hold down a button. Because I watched the person do this. I was asking questions and watching them do it at the same time they held down the button, the car lights came on. I watched the mirrors unfold. The car assessed the situation, pulled out, turned right, moved up, came to a stop, made a left turn, pulled up in front of the person. I was like, Holy hell, that was amazing, right? And there was, it was later at night. I want to be clear, it was like five of nine The place was closing. There was four or five cars in the lot. Not that any of this matters, but one lady who was in her car and her exiting her car and walking towards the store coincided with the car pulling out and driving itself up. So she's nowhere near the car. I want to be clear about that. She's probably 20 feet to the right of where the car is actually driving. The car pulls up, it makes the turn, it stops in front of the person. The person walks over to get into the car, and that is the first time that the lady is is aware of the car at all, like it's just prior to that. It was just a car that was driving. She paid no attention to it at all. But when she saw the person get into the driver's seat, you could see her face change as if to say, Oh, how did that car get up here? And as the person's getting into their car, she turns to them and says, That was scary. Nothing else, just that was scary. Lady was in her late 50s, early 60s. She looked like a regular person to me, you know, she got out of a car that indicated to me you would have to have a job to own it, like that kind of thing. And the person said, Excuse me. And she said, That was scary. And the person said, Oh, I'm sorry, the car does that. It, it actually, it can, you know, you can bring it to where you're at within a certain distance. And then the person offered up, I had to hold my finger on this button the whole time it was driving. If at any point I thought anything was going wrong, I could have taken my hand off the car immediately. Would have stopped. I you know, I'm sorry you were scared. And do you know what she said? What did she say? That was scary. And now I'm tallying on my fingers from a distance how many times this lady is repeating that was scary. She was up to three at this point, that person looked a little confused. Got into the car to leave, and while they were getting into the car, the one woman walked to the drive to the passenger side window and bent down as if to want to talk to the person more. They put their window down, and she said, and I'm not kidding you, Nicole, that was scary. And then the person says, Now I'm listening. And then, well, I was listening the whole time. It was goddamn fascinating. Okay, so and so now the person says to them, there are millions of these cars on the road. This is probably happening around you all the time. You did not even notice this until I went to get into the car, what was scary, and then she didn't answer. And there was just this frozen moment, and all I could think was, oh my god, is this the level of acceptance that lives in some people's minds? How are we ever going to move forward? Like she didn't say, oh my god, that was amazing. It's what I thought when I saw it. I was like, oh my god, yeah, that's amazing. She didn't think it was amazing. She didn't think it was different. She wasn't piqued her interest. Wasn't there to ask questions. She just was scared. But I don't think she was really scared. How could she be scared? The car wasn't moving when she realized what happened, and so she gets a little combative finally, and says, I was next to that while it was happening. And the person says, Well, you were pretty far away because I was watching, but you were completely safe. That was scary. She says again. And he goes, there are millions of cars on the road that have this as a matter of fact, he goes while you're driving on the highway, it's very possible that many cars around you are being driven by a computer and not by the person sitting in the driver's seat. And I'm talking about and he like the person I shouldn't said he, but the guy starts to get a little like animated, and says it is controlling the braking the. Hearing the accelerating, the changing of lanes. There are millions of cars on the road that literally drive themselves, and you have no idea. And I think he was trying to be comforting to her, yeah. And she goes, and I swear to God, Nicole, she says that was scary. And I'm like, is this woman a moron? Like, that's what I started thinking. Like, I was like, maybe she's a big dummy, you know what I mean. But I couldn't tell, is she stupid, or is she just that overwhelmed by what she saw?

Speaker 1 1:10:29
The person should have taken her for a text drive and a heart attack. I'll

Scott Benner 1:10:33
tell you right now. I don't know what would happen if she got in that car, because I think she wanted to murder him. He says, after that, after the last That was scary. He says, call your congressman. And she goes, What's that supposed to mean? And I am like, I am like, if I was younger, I would have been videotaping this, because this is what the kids do when they see like this. But I was just watching. I was just an onlooker. And he goes, call your congressman if there are laws you don't like these cars are legal. If it's a law you don't like, You should call your congressman and see if there's something you can't do about it. And then she just stared at him, and he wished her a good evening, and drove away. And then I acted like I wasn't watching so but I thought about that for an hour afterwards. I came home, I told my The reason I can retell it to you now is I told my wife that my son came home. I told my son because all I could think was, if that's people's level of acceptance or understanding or ability to like move and change, no wonder we can't change very quickly. Yeah, God if she didn't say that was scary 10 times. But after being like, like, given like, being spoken to, offered up reasons like comfort and never could articulate a conversation back only to get mad when he said, call your congressman, she didn't understand what that meant, and that made her angrier, and that's all I saw. Is a modulation of thinking from her in this I mean, what probably was just a minute and a half, like, you don't even it wasn't a long conversation anyway. Like, that's the kind of stuff I think about that I would actually talk about on a podcast. If my podcast wasn't about diabetes, I would spend hours discussing that minute and a half that I witnessed.

Speaker 1 1:12:19
Well, maybe once you have all of this with AI, you can do a spin off. You can do another podcast of what's in Scott's brain. Oh, my

Scott Benner 1:12:28
God, there's so many weird things in here. But no, I can't, because I also have all my other ideas on my whiteboard, some of them, yeah, I'm really excited about, actually,

Speaker 1 1:12:38
well, that's awesome. That's That's awesome. I'm excited to see what what comes out.

Scott Benner 1:12:43
Anyway, you're very nice to listen to my long story. One

Speaker 1 1:12:46
more thing I have to say, go ahead, you really need to go to Canada.

Scott Benner 1:12:50
What is wrong? You're not in Canada. Why are you pushing me into Canada? I'm not trying to get rid

Speaker 1 1:12:55
of into Canada. No, I just think it's funny how you talk about Canada or even Alaska or and I know you're doing it in good fun, but Canada is beautiful, and you would, you would really like it. And you may, you may, bought a moose. And you may, I don't know you just you had to go to Canada, go see Banff, go see like Louise. How would

Scott Benner 1:13:18
I be able to say, Don't you own a penguin, to people where live, where there are no penguins. If I went to camp,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
I don't know. I just think you ought to gotta try it.

Scott Benner 1:13:28
Don't you just live on a salt flat with a big rock pile in

Speaker 1 1:13:31
the middle of it? Yes, and everyone's in a pioneer dress and has one husband and lots of wives. And what else about Utah, we eat jello all the time. What

Scott Benner 1:13:42
kind of jello? Sugar free or sugar? Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:13:46
that's funny, because growing up, every family party in this diabetic family, there was always one regular rainbow jello and sugar free rainbow jello. Because we had so many diabetics in the family, is jello a Mormon thing. I don't know. Maybe it's a Utah thing, and maybe I'm just off my rocker, but it seems like it's always been a joke that there's always jello at and Mormon something.

Scott Benner 1:14:09
Well, you know, they say there's always room for jello.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:11
I didn't know that.

Scott Benner 1:14:13
I think that's the is that not the tagline?

Speaker 1 1:14:15
Maybe it's a generational thing, because I feel like with both of my grandmas, if we had a nice, fancy mill, there was always jello. I haven't made jello ever, so

Scott Benner 1:14:30
I just Googled. There's always room for and the first thing in Google is jello. Okay, oh, it's a god, it's a black and white ad. How fcking old am I? Exactly Jesus Christ. This is upsetting. Give me a second. Ready? Yep, hold on. Let's find this video here. This is a retrospectacle. There's always room for jello. It's actually a Oh, was yours in a jello mold? Like a salad, like a jello salad. I. Oh, like a button pan. Yeah, that's what they're showing right now. It says a sensation for salads, imitation apple flavor on the packages. There was Apple jello. Now it's more like green apple, right? Oh, and you could cube it up and put it together like in a wine glass. Look how sexy this is. Oh, oh, my God. The woman's mixer is a hand mixer. It's the one where you hold it, you turn the dial on the side of it to, like, make it spin. Oh, and this kid that they put in the he's not attractive, the child, hey, I mean, they must have just took the first baby. Well, this goes back into, like, all right, I can't watch this. Apparently, there's more history about jello than I knew. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 1:15:44
I just Googled Mormons in jello and nothing. Yeah, something. Oh, there is. I just, I don't need to take the time to read about all this. There's some stuff about jello.

Scott Benner 1:15:54
All right. Everybody get involved in that. Maybe Jerry Seinfeld will make a jello movie next now that he's done a pop tart film.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:02
Oh, dear.

Scott Benner 1:16:04
It's like a pop tart movie. What am I gonna do with that? All right, have we done it? Are we good? We've done

Speaker 1 1:16:09
it. We're good. All right, thank you. I really, I really appreciate this show. No,

Scott Benner 1:16:13
it's my pleasure, and I'm so happy the podcast is valuable for you. It's really touching, and I don't know another way to say it. I'm just really thrilled that you enjoy it and that it's that it's helpful for you. I don't know how you motivate somebody to learn about something that they don't want to learn about, but I would think like after listening to your whole conversation, I would think that if you had a conversation with your daughter and said, Look, you know, I'd love it if we could do some of the things when you're not with me that we do when we are, you know, these 300 blood sugars they you can't feel good when that's happening. I want you to feel good. I want you to be able to enjoy the time that you're spending with your dad and that kind of stuff. Here are some simple little things we could do that would help you, and then just kind of reinforce those things and be a, you know, be a teammate. Don't be like, don't be a, don't be a coach, you know, and that over time, maybe she'll, you know, incorporate those into her thinking, and then they'll just happen automatically. You won't need somebody to do it for you.

Speaker 1 1:17:19
Yeah, well, I've got to figure out how to sometimes they go out to dinner at like, 910, at night. That's just crazy to me. Wow. So one of those things will have to be figure out how to dose correctly when you go out to eat that late, yeah. And then how to work out, because I've tried the other thing of telling the dad, um, you know you're not with her very often, maybe when she's with you on these days, like, try to be done eating it. Like,

Scott Benner 1:17:50
do the things we know, do the things we know work maybe, or

Speaker 1 1:17:54
go out to eat somewhere where you know is like, or just cook at home. Like, yeah, I don't know. There's so many things that I I have done to help her, and it just seems like over there, it's whatever's convenient for them. Yeah. Well, anyways, yeah, great. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:18:11
all right, hold on one second for me, you were terrific. Thank you very much. You OmniPod. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gevok, glucagon. Find out more about gvoke. Hypopen at gvoke glucagon.com, forward slash juicebox. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, O n.com forward slash juicebox. This episode of The juicebox podcast was sponsored by us Med, usmed.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us. Med, links in the show notes. Links at juicebox podcast.com the episode you just enjoyed was sponsored by Medtronic diabetes. Learn more about hyperglycemia and what you can do about it at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The juicebox podcast. If you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're looking for some fresh perspective, the bold beginning series from the juicebox podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series, Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player, or you can go to juicebox podcast. Dot com, and click on bold beginnings in the menu, the episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwayrecording.com, you.

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#1334 Celebrating Today

When the doctors couldn’t help, Janelle took her daughter’s A1C from 13s to 5s using the podcast.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again, friends for the next episode of The juicebox podcast.

Janelle is the mother of a child with type one diabetes, who says that this podcast saved her daughter, her son, Lee, and her marriage. This is her story. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. If you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juicebox and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at t1 dxchange.org/juicebox. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com. When you place your first order for AG, one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. AG, one.com/juicebox. When or if you need something that is represented by one of the sponsors, it would help the podcast immensely if you would use my links to look into it or to make a purchase.

Arden started using a contour meter because of its accuracy, but she continues to use it because it's durable and trustworthy. If you have diabetes, you want the contour next gen blood glucose meter. There's already so many decisions. Let me take this one off your plate. Contour, next.com/juicebox this episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by Eversense. The Eversense CGM is more convenient, requiring only one sensor every six months. It offers more flexibility with its easy on, easy off, smart transmitter, and allows you to take a break when needed. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox your kids mean everything to you, and you do anything for them, especially if they're at risk. So when it comes to type one diabetes screen, it like you mean it. Because if even just one person in your family has type one, your child is up to 15 times more likely to get it, but just one blood test can help you spot it early, so don't wait. Talk to your doctor about screening tap now or visit screenfortypeone.com to get more info and screen it like you mean it.

Janelle 2:42
Hi. My name is Janelle, and I'm the mom of a type one.

Scott Benner 2:45
Janelle,

Unknown Speaker 2:46
how old are you? 3939

Scott Benner 2:50
seems like a reasonable age. Let's see. They all seem like reasonable ages. Let's see. What else How old are those kids?

Janelle 2:56
So my type one, she's the baby. She's going to be 10 next month, and then I have a 14 year old and a 16 year old.

Scott Benner 3:04
Wow. And you were 39 and how old was your 10 year old when they were diagnosed? Eight, girl or boy?

Unknown Speaker 3:11
Girl, all right. Tell

Scott Benner 3:14
me about the diagnosis. How did you figure it out?

Janelle 3:17
Um, so it was a tell, you know, normal story, like everybody else, she did, go into deep Ka and that was pretty scary, although I'm pretty sure she had diabetes for a year leading leading up to diagnosis. So we got covid in January of 2022, and then about two months later, she started randomly vomiting at night, and it was like the worst vomit we had ever encountered. I mean, we have three kids, we used to vomit, and it just smelled so foul, like I don't even know how to explain it. We would like wrap up the blankets and throw them outside in the middle of the night, and then the next morning go and hose them off before we could even put them

Scott Benner 4:01
in the washer. The microphones touching your clothes. But I didn't want to stop you while you were saying that. Oh my god. I don't think that anybody's ever jumped into the podcast the way you just did. Like, damn it. Forget all the pleasantries. Worst vomit I ever spelled my entire life. I

Janelle 4:20
mean, it was so bad, I just don't even know how to describe it. We were like, What is going on? And she would vomit at one or 2am and then she would be perfectly fine and go back to sleep. And we were just like, what? Like, what's going on,

Scott Benner 4:34
you know, no indication of illness after the vomit, before, after,

Janelle 4:38
none. So that was, you know, that was the first symptom, and literally, two months after we had covid. So it went on for about two or three months, randomly, no rhyme or rhythm to it, when she would throw up, maybe once a month, maybe twice. Sadly, my at the time, my two daughters shared a room in a bunk bed, and she was on the top bunk. So my daughter in the bottom would get to vomit a lot. That was really hard.

Scott Benner 5:06
Your eight year old was randomly vomiting a couple of times every other week or so,

Janelle 5:12
um, like once or twice a month. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:15
Okay, okay. And, and other than that, did you notice anything, even in, like, hindsight. Do you notice at that

Janelle 5:22
time? No at that time, no. But I did take her in for the vomiting, because my oldest daughter had what was called abdominal migraines that would cause her to vomit, which was like a year before, before she started her, you know, cycle. So I'm like, okay, maybe that's what's going on. But then it was, like, she's eight. My other daughter was, like, 11, you know, there's, like, a big age difference. So I did take her into the doctor and, you know, told them what was going on. And they were like, well, just track her diet. You know, maybe it could be that, we're not sure, just track her diet. So I started, you know, writing down what she was eating a little bit. And then I kind of concluded, like, Oh, she's vomiting when she has cereal that day, which we don't really buy cereal or eat cereal. The only cereal we would buy, used to buy was Cheerios, and she random. I mean, she rarely ate it. We just, she wasn't a big fan, so we rarely ate it. And I was like, Oh, she's allergic to milk. So I didn't even, you know, diabetes wasn't even on the, you know, spectrum of spots at all. It was like, Oh, she's allergic to dairy. And so we kind of went with that for a little bit. And then towards so that, you know, started in February, March, towards October, she just started getting really tired. I mean, like, just come home from school, lay on the couch, watch TV zombie. And that was not typical for her. She's like, my, you know, third child, so she's very outgoing, she's very active, and then she was just super grumpy. I mean, I couldn't I remember her coming home from school and having math homework, and one time she like, yelled at me, and she's like, I just can't remember. And I was like, What is going on with her? Like, she's having severe behavioral issues, you know? So then they started going down rabbit holes of that, trying to figure out, like, what is it the transition to third grade? Like, is it, you know, I know it's a lot more homework. Is this what's, you know, causing her to act this way?

Scott Benner 7:23
You're making me wonder how many people were burned at the stake as witches who were just going into DKA, because, you know what I mean, like that, yeah, yeah, the confusion, and then the variability in how you are, and then the malaise at all, like it just you're scared during that time, trying to figure it out, or is it not striking you like it might be a bigger issue,

Janelle 7:47
so it's not striking me again. She's my third child. We have, like, No, my kids have rarely go to the doctor. I mean, they only go if they're severely sick, and that's very rare, you know, so at the time, I'm not thinking anything severe. I do take her in for, like, her annual checkup around that time, and they did tell me she had, I guess, protein in her urine, like, pass it off as no big deal. Oh, bring her in tomorrow. She probably just didn't clean herself good enough when she wiped so I brought her in, like, the next day they retested, and they were like, Oh, it's fine again. No red flag for me, because the doctor's telling me it's fine. I don't even go home and Google it. I think everything is perfectly okay. Halloween rules around. She is severely sick. I mean, she has a double ear infection. She's just miserable. She misses Halloween. And I'm like, What is you know, again, I'm like, Why does she keep getting sick? This is where I have, like, a lot of extreme mom guilt, because I just bypassed them. Like, oh, she's a kid. She'll she'll be fine. Those

Scott Benner 8:55
things, they'll bounce back. Hey, can I say something before you move forward? Hold on to your mom guilt for a second. Yeah, because we're gonna get too far past this if I don't do this. Abdominal migraines are a type of migraine that primarily affects the stomach rather than the head. They are most common in children, especially those between ages of two and 10, but they can also occur in adults. The exact cause of abdominal migraines is not well understood, but they are believed to be related to the same factors that trigger classic migraines, such as changes in brain chemistry and genetics. Like, I thought this was, like a colloquial name for something, but it's literally is a headache that you feel in your stomach. Yes,

Janelle 9:31
I had no daughter doesn't have it anymore. It was literally just like the year leading up to her starting her cycle, and it was on a monthly basis, like in tune with her cycle. And now she's 16, and she has extremely painful and bad period. So I don't know if that was like a signal that that was gonna go that way for

Scott Benner 9:52
her. Is she been looked at for PCOS?

Janelle 9:55
No, but that's we're actually just I was just talking to her about it the other day. She bleeding into another subject. She kind of has, like, medical trauma since my youngest daughter's diagnosis, so she really doesn't want to go to the doctor. And I'm like, we need to go. You're down for two days. Like, this is not okay, you

Scott Benner 10:13
know, yeah, especially with the now you're seeing the autoimmune in the family, so PCOS is a reasonable concern. Yes, okay, I'm so sorry. Let's get back to your horrible guilt. Go ahead. Yeah. Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test can spot type one diabetes early. Tap now, talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com. For more info. The contour next gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contour next.com/juicebox you're going to find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite, aid, Kroger and Meyer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips in meter than you would pay through my link for the contour next gen and contour next test strips in cash. What am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now, even with your insurance, and I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that, but what I can say for sure is that the contour next gen meter is accurate. It is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Contour next.com/juice box. And if you already have a contour meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the juicebox podcast link will help to support the show.

Janelle 11:56
So I you know Christmas passes by my daughter, actually, my older daughter returned, 15 she had a quinceanera youngest daughter, again, was just in a horrible mood, biting me. I'm not gonna wear a dress, you know, all these things. And I just was like, I'm just having so much trouble with this child. Like the mom and daughter, like, dynamic is just not going well, you know, she's just angry all the time. And then January rolls around, and I made a comment to my husband. I said, you know, she looks like she's lost a lot of weight. And I just, I don't know, I just feel like something's off. And he, like, kind of looked at her, and he was like, hey, you know? Well, she grew, she grew, she grew. She thinned out. All of our kids did that. We're tall people, so you know? He was like, she's getting taller. She thinks. I'm like, Okay. And then I even had like, a random friend that hadn't seen her in a few months saw her, and he did like a double take, and he's like, Arielle, and then he's like, wow, whoa. She's so thin and and even in that moment, I just was like, Oh yeah, she, you know, she got taller, but after diagnosis, I remember him being like, Oh, I'm so sorry. Like, I, like, was so shocked to see her, and then now, like, to know something was wrong with her, you know, like, he's like, I feel so bad. And I was like, No, it's, it's not a big deal. But so she still was throwing up, right? And she still, she would throw up, also randomly at school during lunch recess, and then they would send her home, and I would be like, well, she's fine. And they were like, well, she keeps throwing up. And I'm like, Well, I'm working with the doctor. We're tracking her food. We think she might have, you know, dominant migraines, which is not really getting anywhere. They she came home on a Monday, threw up after lunch recess, and normally, when she after she threw up, she'd, you know, be down for a few hours, and then she'd be fine. Well, she came home and she just looked like death, like I couldn't be honest, like I looked at her and I was like, You're sick. So she got in my bed. She slept in my bed that night. She threw up all night. I mean, I could not even get water down, nothing. So the next day, usually, after 24 hours, you know, they when your kids, like, have a, you know, viral or stomach bug, they start to perk up a little bit. And she didn't perk up. I mean, she was, like, sliding down a hill, like, getting worse. And I just that was, like, the major red flag, because, like, something's wrong. So I called the pediatrician, and I was like, hey, you know, I need to speak with a nurse. And they called me back, and I was like, she's been vomiting for 24 hours, like she can't even keep water down. I was like, so if anything, I know, she's 100% dehydrated. They were like, Oh, we can see her tomorrow. And I was like, Okay, make the appointment. So I made the appointment, hung up the phone, I got in the bed with her, and I was just like, No, this is no. I need to take her in. So I immediately took her to the ER, just something, I guess, like the mom in me was just like, No, she's not gonna make it till tomorrow. Like this. She's Janelle.

Scott Benner 14:56
Tell me right there. Did you think she was gonna die if you didn't take her for medical care?

Janelle 14:59
I didn't think she was gonna die, but just something was telling me that it just wasn't normal. I had three kids, and she just wasn't acting normal. She kept telling me her stomach, her whole stomach hurt. So I was thinking, like, appendicitis. But she wasn't like, oh, it's to the side. She was like, my whole stomach hurt,

Scott Benner 15:18
okay, you know, are you a big hand talker. What's happening with that microphone? Put your hands down at your sides while you're talking. Yeah, I have a question, because I heard something that I'm wondering if I got right or not. What's your background? Are you Mexican? I am not my husband. Is your husband is I heard the humble brag about the height, and I thought this could be a Mexican thing, and so was I close to right. Come on, help me.

Janelle 15:47
All my kids are super tall. It's not a humble bag. Actually hated being tall growing up. Really. How

Unknown Speaker 15:52
tall are you?

Janelle 15:54
I'm 510, 510,

Scott Benner 15:56
no kidding. Good for you. Tell me a second. Why did you not like being tall growing up?

Janelle 16:02
Um, well, I went to, I grew up in a really small town, and went to a really small school, you know, K through eight, and I was, like, the only tall kid. And so just, you know, I didn't fit in. I wasn't normal. I guess I find

Scott Benner 16:15
Tall women very attractive. I don't know why. I always feel bad when I see them, kind of like curling their shoulders over, kind of hiding their height and stuff like that. But it's just people are looking at you. Is that the issue?

Janelle 16:27
Oh, yeah. And I think just awkwardly as a teen, you know, or pre teen, you just, like, I had two best friends growing up, and they were the same height and they shared all the same clothes, and, like, I couldn't do that with them. All

Scott Benner 16:39
the stuff is different. Yeah, I see okay, all right, I'm sorry, emergency room go ahead. Yes, they

Janelle 16:46
take her into the emergency room right before I take her in, when I'm like, contemplating take her in, I start to Google all the symptoms, and I, you know, I forgot to say she was going to sleep with a water bottle leading up to this. And I just thought, yay, she's drinking more water. Like, had no clue that she was, like, so thirsty, you know, because and then she was peeing a lot excessively, too. And she kept telling me she was so I actually had first went to like, Oh, do you have a UTI? And she's like, No, because it doesn't. I was like, does it hurt when you go pee? No, no, no, you know. So I just kept finding excuses for, you know, all the symptoms. And actually, two weeks before the ER, she had bloodshot eye, really bad, and she was like, it really hurts. And I again, I look at it, and I'm like, Well, someone just had pink eye. Her teacher had just had pink eye, maybe a pink eye. So I had even, like, taken a picture of it and texted it to my friend, like, do you think this is Pink Guy? She's like, No. And again, I'm like, Oh, you'll be fine. Go to school. You don't have pink eye. You just, you'll be fine. And it, you know, it went away. But, like, those were all super strong signs that I just totally passed off. But I had no education, no like, the doctor never told me, like, oh, well, maybe she had this. So look out for, you know, her drinking a lot and urinating a lot on losing weight. Like nobody said anything. So I googled all these things right before I took her in, when I had the epiphany, like, I need to take her in. And it was like, diabetes. And I was like, huh, diabetes? What like? So I take her into the ER, and I'm like, I think she has diabetes. She lost, you know, 10 pounds in a month, and she is drinking a lot and peeing a lot, and she hasn't stopped vomiting in 24 hours. And they poked her finger, and it was like, close to 500 we were like in a little tent because they still have, like, a covid tent outside the hospital. I don't know why we're 20. It was 2023 but

Scott Benner 18:47
I'm stunned that the blood sugar was only 500 honestly, he's

Janelle 18:51
saying, but we don't. We're not like soda drinkers. We don't, you know. And she also hadn't ate anything, you know, eight or anything in 24 hours. But yeah, I'm also bedafled How it wasn't like, super high, because I hear all the diagnosis stories and, like, their blood sugars are like, 600 700 and this had been going on for literally a year. So I was, I really think, for a whole year she was honeymooning, and that saved her. They immediately Gail DKA and about like, three nurses came running. They put her in a wheelchair, they took her straight to a room. And my son has had a million injuries. We've been to the ER, for you know, sports injuries. And he I've never been attended to that fast. And it was in that moment that I knew that, like it was serious. Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:39
when they don't make you sit there for three hours and stare at the wall, yeah, oh my gosh.

Janelle 19:44
So they got her to the room, it was, is really surreal. You know, I was by myself with her. She's asking me, do I have cancer? Am I dying? And I'm like, I can't even answer the question, because I don't even know what's going on. You know, I don't even know what diabetes. These is, I, I have one recollection of diabetes, and that was, you know, growing up in a small town, and a an older girl had died in her sleep, and it just went around the school, like, yeah, she had diabetes. So, like, that's the one thing that I could cling to as she's being diagnosed. And that was super hard, because I had no like other education

Scott Benner 20:22
Janelle, I just, I just got the chills when, when she asked if she had cancer, if she was going to die, because it made me feel like for all this time, because tell people again, from the first time she threw up until that day, how long had it been, one year? Oh, sweetie. Yeah. I just kept thinking, I wonder how long your daughter was wondering how what was wrong with her, because

Janelle 20:46
she never said anything. And there was also another thing that I find really interesting. About three months before she was diagnosed, she stopped eating rice, and she loved rice again. My husband's Hispanic, so, you know, there's a lot of Mexican rice. She refused to eat rice, and I couldn't understand it. It was like, You love Rice, but I think it was making her feel so sick that her body knew it, and she refuses to eat rice to this day.

Scott Benner 21:11
Have you in hindsight, have you talked to her and asked her why she didn't maybe I can't believe I'm gonna say this like this, but why she didn't like advocate for herself a little bit.

Janelle 21:21
I think she didn't know. I honestly think she was eight. I don't think she knew why she was not feeling well, or even correlated that she wasn't feeling well. I don't think she put it together. And I think because she was honeymooning, she would, you know, have really good time, and she would feel better, and then she would feel sick again. So I just don't think she even realized it wasn't normal. And I think at some point, you know, she, I mean, her a 1c when diagnosed, she was 13.7 so I think that she was learning, had her body had learned to function on those, you know, 300 blood sugar sugars.

Scott Benner 22:00
I bring this up to maybe, to try to relieve you a little bit of this guilt, right? Because, like, it's such a human thing. We have a very short memory about stuff like this, you know what I mean, and that that's good. It's for survival reasons. You don't sit around worrying all the time if you're going to get sick again. And so if she didn't feel well, she's tough kids. She fights through it, then she feels better. It would not be common for you to sit there and think, Oh, I wonder when this is going to happen again, even when it's happening over and over again. I just find that that's kind of that hopeful nature of human beings, you know what I mean? And yeah, and so I get it, and she's young, and she doesn't know enough to put two and two together and and worry, and you had found reasons for things that you saw that seemed, you know, like they answered questions. And, you know, the, the only thing I would say is, like, the vomiting for that long,

Janelle 22:51
yeah, and it was just so sporadic, though, like, I like one time it would just be one once that month, so it wasn't, and I didn't dawn on me until about October, when i i plugged I Google searched in my text messages, like puking, and I realized, like, how much she had been puking. Because I would text my friend like, oh my god, Ariel was puking last night. We're all gonna get sick, you know, and then no one else got sick. We never, nobody else ever got sick. And I had told the doctor that, and I had taken her to the doctor, and I just, I go back to day one, you know, two months after the bottom meeting started, why did the doctor not prick her finger? Why, when she went to her routine checkup, did the doctor not they picked her finger to check her iron, but they never checked her sugars. And

Scott Benner 23:39
then, and she starts getting other infections, with the ear infections too, and everything. So I'm going to use a word here. I don't mean this word, but I'm just, I'm tired today. I can't come up with a better synonym. But if you look back on how you handled it, where'd you go wrong? What? What? Let it go like? What's the thing you you wish you could have you could take back now, is it listening to the doctor?

Janelle 24:04
No, because the doctor didn't give me any solid advice. It would have been, I think, Googling her symptoms, just not bypassing again. I feel like if she was the first child, I would have been more attuned to what was going on, but because I had, at the time, you know, 14 year old and, or, sorry, 13 and 15 year old. I'm, like, I'm a seasoned mom. Like, they're just, it's a normal like, I just found excuses for everything. So I think just really not bypassing what, like, how she was feeling, advocating more, I guess, to the doctor I in my in, like, when I look back and like, I took her to the doctor. Why didn't they do this? Why didn't they do that? You know? And I think they see so many healthy kids that they just think it's a minor illness,

Scott Benner 24:49
right? Well, yeah, Janelle, you know, I think you're right. I put this into vision. Ai, I said, what do these symptoms point to? Thirsty, vomiting, lethargy, weight loss, vision. Says the symptoms you've described, thorough vomiting, lethargy and weight loss can be concerning and may be indicated indicate several possible health issues, including, but not limited to diabetes related conditions. In this in the context of type one diabetes, these symptoms could suggest a few critical scenarios. Diabetic Ketoacidosis, it describes it hyperglycemia, it describes it infection or illness. I think, do you think if you would have saw that, what would you have done? How many times have you thought it's time to change my CGM, I just changed it. And then you look and realize, my God, it's been 14 days already, a week, week and a half, feels like I just did this. Well, you'll never feel like that with the Eversense CGM, because Eversense is the only long term CGM with six months of real time glucose readings, giving you more convenience, confidence and flexibility. So if you're one of those people who has that thought that I just did this, didn't I why? Well, might have to do this again right now. If you don't like that feeling, give Eversense a try, because with Eversense, you'll replace the sensor just once every six months via a simple in office. Visit Eversense, cgm.com/juicebox, to learn more and get started. Today. Would you like to take a break? Take a shower? You can with Eversense without wasting a sensor. Don't want anybody to know. For your big day, take it off, no one has to know. Have your sensors been failing before 10 or 14 days? That won't happen with ever since? Have you ever had a sensor get torn off while you're pulling off your shirt? That won't happen with ever since? So no sensor to get knocked off. It's as discreet as you want it to be. It's incredibly accurate, and you only have to change it once every six months. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox,

Janelle 26:51
I would have took her immediately into the doctor and been like, I think she has this. I mean, I know about this advocacy. I I didn't mention this, but my son does have sensory processing disorder, and I advocated for him when he was a year old, because I knew something was off.

Unknown Speaker 27:07
Okay, he's your 14

Janelle 27:07
year old, yes, okay, yes. And he's very it's like a spectrum, like autism, and he's very low on the sensory spectrum, but he does have it, and he does, you know, have eating sensory issues. But as he's gotten older, it's gotten a lot easier to manage. So again, I pushed that when he was really young, because I saw the signs and the symptoms. But I think with her, just the chaos of life at the time, having two teenagers, my son played travel baseball. My daughter does ballet. You know, Arielle does horseback riding. I work full time. My husband has his own business. I just think you never, I guess I just after so many years of never having a major issue with any of my kids, as far as illness in my head, they were all healthy,

Scott Benner 27:56
and this was going, you see that hopefuls, those seasons of hope were happening for you as well. Yeah, yeah. You're like, Oh, she's vomiting. That's crazy, but she's good now. And then you get elevated again, and you kind of forget about it and and then, if it happens, spread out enough, maybe you just don't put the whole thing together. That's really sad.

Janelle 28:15
And the thirsty and the weight loss didn't happen until about, like, six months into the vomiting and the weight loss didn't happen until right before, you know, DKA, so it was just like, kind of on. The symptoms were piling up slowly. It wasn't like they all came out one, yeah,

Scott Benner 28:32
oh, it's really so let's have listen. You started off by saying it's a story like everybody else's, but then you told a story I don't think I've ever heard before. So geez, that's something. Are you I have another

Janelle 28:42
interesting piece too, which I don't I've tried to do the research to see if it's related, and I can't really find a link. But she was born two weeks early, and she was a little over eight pounds, and I remember getting really mad when she was born because they kept poking her foot. And I finally asked them why they were poking her foot, and they said, Well, we're testing her blood sugar because she's a big baby for being two weeks early. And I'm like, she's like, eight pounds, six ounces. Like, that's not really a big baby in my head, but I'm like, she's my third baby, and so of course, she's going to be a little bigger. They never told me if she had high blood sugar. But before we were going to, before I was going to come on here, I got her hospital records because I was just curious, you know, of all the details about when I took her into the ER, and of course, that is the same hospital where she was born, and she did have high blood sugars, and nobody ever said anything. And also when she was diagnosed, we live in a not a really big town. I mean, it's kind of big, but they sent her a children's hospital, which is an hour away, so she had to go by ambulance there. They tested her for the antibodies, and she tested for all. Five antibodies. So I just question if she had this even longer and we just had no clue, or she had no symptoms, or is it possible to have like, such a slow onset with young children? You know about

Scott Benner 30:14
that? Well, I just, I'm like, I'm all in on AI now. So are premature babies that are larger, more prone to type one later in life, the relationship between birth weight, prematurity and the development of type one diabetes later in life is the topic of ongoing research, and the findings are not entirely conclusive. However, several studies have explored various aspects of this relationship prematurity and type one Some research suggests that premature birth may be associated in increased risk of developing autoimmune diseases, including type one. The theory is that the immune system of premature infants might develop differently, potentially influencing autoimmune responses later in life. That crazy.

Janelle 30:56
Yeah, it is. And she wasn't considered preterm because she was, you know, close enough 38 weeks, yeah, yeah. But I just found it odd, yeah, even

Scott Benner 31:07
though the birth weight is not huge at that time, I guess the charts told them check her blood sugar, yeah.

Janelle 31:13
So when I pulled her files, they have like, this hand chart where they like, plotted it like a graph, and it was just a tiny bit above for the weeks. So it was like, check her blood sugar, and they never told me it was high. There was no information. Did it say how high it was when they checked? I don't have it off the top of my head. It's in my little files right here. But and also it when I looked, it wasn't, it wasn't the values that we use. So I was, I don't, I didn't have time to research, like, what, how that correlates? I don't know if they're using a different value system. Sorry, I'm

Scott Benner 31:46
not. Where was the hospital?

Janelle 31:49
It was here in California, but it said, like, 88 or something. But it said, Hi, I'm not. I could be wrong on the exact number, but it it showed, like, two times being normal and two times being high,

Scott Benner 32:03
but not enough for them to say something to you,

Janelle 32:06
I guess. I guess so. I mean, yeah, they never said anything. I mean, they didn't even tell me why they were poking her until I was like, Why do you keep poking her foot? This is my third baby. You've never poked my baby's foot. You know, even

Scott Benner 32:17
That's strange, though, because if it was in minimals, it would be 4.7 not 8888

Janelle 32:23
is well. And then I did read, so I got the hospital records, like a month ago, and I was like, digging into them. And I did it might, I may be wrong on the number, but I did read that for newborns, the sugar level is different. Ooh,

Scott Benner 32:35
okay. Oh, that makes sense. Then Okay, so I'm not sure of the exact you know. So yeah, high for what they expected, then yes, two hours old, normal level is just under two millimoles and more risk adult levels three or two days, within two to three days, and babies who need treatment for low blood glucose are at risk for low blood glucose. Low, yeah,

Janelle 32:59
when I Googled it, it just like, had a lot of information about low, but not high.

Scott Benner 33:03
Yeah, okay, all right. I don't know that we're gonna figure that out now, but that's super interesting. I appreciate you bringing it up. Yeah, all the people are listening now are like, were our kids premature by how much I wonder if they Yeah, that's something. It's

Janelle 33:16
just interesting that, like, again, I had no clue. But then when I pulled the records, it showed high. And I'm like, that's just odd to

Scott Benner 33:23
me. Well, apparently, not, apparently there's ongoing research about that. Yeah, so Okay, God, we're a half hour in. Why did you want to come on the podcast?

Janelle 33:33
So I love the podcast I listen all the time. Has just really helped me, one manage the emotions in the first couple months, there's just something about hearing other people's story and being able to you know, validate your story and make you feel you know, not alone, and then also for both aspects you know, and then also just their learning tools. So when she was diagnosed again, her a 1c, was, you know, close to 14, and immediately went on. MDI went home with a Dexcom, will went home with a Dexcom, but not on her. So we put it on, like three days later, yeah, and then she was MDI for three months, and got her her ANC was not coming down that fast. And again, they don't, they, you know, they don't tell you that they're bringing her down slowly. So that was a little frustrating for me, like, Why isn't this working? But after three months, got the OmniPod, I think so. I was introduced to you through a friend whose daughter had was diagnosed about a year before my daughter, but I had no clue, because we had lost contact during covid, and then somebody had told me on the way home from the hospital, well, you know, so and so's daughter as type one. And I'm like, What? No, that's like, my really good friend. That's not possible. And so I spoke with her on the way to the on the way home from the hospital, and our you know, diagnosis stories were a lot, like, super similar. And she was like, Hey, do you, you know, use Facebook? And I was like, yeah. A little bit here and there. She's like, Okay, I'm going to add you to this group. So since day one, she added me to, you know, your Facebook group, and I would, you know, follow along. But it wasn't until about like, two months after she was diagnosed that I actually started listening to the podcast, and then I started figuring out, like, oh, I can put in this work. I can do this, I can do that. And I got her a 1c down from, you know, the 13 on MDI to, um, 5.90

Scott Benner 35:31
wow. You know, that's amazing. Good for you. So there's, yeah, Jesus, that's, I'm stunned by a couple of things, but one that the hospital or your endo was comfortable with a 13, A, 1c, they weren't pushing harder. So

Janelle 35:47
it's a learning, teaching hospital. And I just, I don't you know, everything that they say, everything you guys talk about on the podcast, is super valid. There was just no real education. You know, you're, you're in this state of shock when you're diagnosed and and they, you know, give you this the day you're going to leave. They run you through this like eight hour course of how you're going to care for this child. And you haven't slept in three days, you know. And nobody said anything. Nobody said, Really, what? They gave me the ranges, but nobody said, Oh, she's we're bringing her down slowly, like she's going to be high for a while. And we actually had a planned trip to Disneyland the week after she was diagnosed, and I had told the doctor we can't go to Disneyland, you know, like I can't do this. Like I am totally freaking out. I don't I don't know how we're going to manage this. And she was like, oh, no, you have to go to Disneyland. She's like, you cannot let her so I will say I'm really happy with the doctor, because she was like, you cannot let her think that her life is going to be different because of diabetes. You cannot take away Disneyland. And I was like,

Scott Benner 36:58
what could you people say something that might help me? Yes,

Janelle 37:01
exactly. So we go to Disneyland. And now looking back, it was a miserable time. She was miserable. I mean, all the walking. But now looking back, she was still in the 200 and nobody told us like she's going to be tired. She's going to, you know, there was just this lack of information, and I don't know if it's because they don't want to overwhelm you, or there's just still, you know, a problem in the in the teaching Well, Janelle,

Scott Benner 37:29
I have my opinions. I think you know them as you're listening. So I think that they don't want to overwhelm you is the answer that doctors, who do know what they're talking about, give to stick up for everybody else when I think what's happening is when people have experiences like yours, I'm not saying everybody, and there are plenty of doctors who know what they're doing, and they're good at telling people how to manage things, and they're great support systems with good knowledge, etc. But for the ones who aren't, it's just a banal show of information. Don't let diabetes stop you. Great, but thanks. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, yeah, so I'm gonna go to Disney. I'm gonna drag her ass out in the heat with high blood sugars, where she's probably got muscle cramping. She feels crappy, her head's foggy. We're running her around going, like, we're not gonna let diabetes stop us. I

Janelle 38:25
break our only insulin bottle in the bathroom and shatter it.

Scott Benner 38:30
Really, what ride was that it was,

Janelle 38:33
it was literally like the trip from hell, like I was like, why are we doing this? Did

Scott Benner 38:37
you curse when the vial hit the ground? Yeah, I

Janelle 38:40
did. And then, you know, but then I tried to stay calm for her. I, you know, I really did not want to, like, yeah, you know, rattle her. So I was super calm. I'm like, There's, this is no big deal. But I'm like, why didn't somebody tell me when I was leaving later? I'm like, Why didn't someone tell me when I was leaving the hospital? There's vial covers, you know, there's these plastic, little silicone things. Like, nobody said, go get one of those, or

Scott Benner 39:02
bring two. If I go somewhere, why would I need two? Yeah,

Janelle 39:05
I and I didn't bring two. My thinking was, you know, they have to be refrigerated. I don't want to deal with that. I'll keep one at home. We're only going to need one, you know, right? It's so I it was a mess. And I'm just like, why would you send me into that? Because I was already struggling so much with just accepting the diagnosis. And I'm a type A personality, so I wanted to, like, get everything down to the T and then you throw me, like I felt like, into war when I was already injured,

Scott Benner 39:35
getting Mickey Mouse. Am I right? Joe? It when the vial hit the ground, I might have gone. It's a world of laughter. It's a world of fears. I don't know, I don't remember the song, sweetie, but everything's gonna be fine. Don't worry about it. Let's go on Space Mountain now, yeah,

Janelle 39:50
we were actually by Space Mountain. We were like, in a bathroom right there, but yeah, and then she wanted to dose, you know, in the bathroom, which I know is like the horribles place. We're over that now. But. You know, it was the beginning, and I was letting her take the lead of what she was comfortable with. And like, that was, like, the worst decision ever. In the bathroom smelled like insulin. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, probably think I'm shooting up in the stall, but, you know, whatever. Yeah, listen,

Scott Benner 40:13
you guys are used to that vomit smell. Nothing bothers you. Yeah, yeah, you don't know. Like, I, by the way, I could do a 25 minute podcast episode on just you throwing the vomit sheets outside and then having to go collect them the next morning. I would have dug into that story like a lunatic if I didn't know that you had more to talk about. Because I am just, oh, I'm I'm just, I'm enlightened inside about the I just imagine you guys just picking up those sheets and being like, oh my god, this is horrible. Why did we have kids? Like the whole that's

Janelle 40:45
where we were at, my husband, my poor husband, you know, I go to work early in the morning, so he does more morning routine. So he was responsible for hosing them off. And he was just like, I'm done. I'm done parenting. I don't want to do this anymore. Like he was, you know, it was just, it was hard making

Scott Benner 41:03
these babies is so far in the rear view mirror. I don't really, I don't remember why we're doing this. No, I hear it. Oh, my God. Oh, so you, so you find through a friend, do you find the podcast? I want to get back this, because I run the risks, you know, all the time of acting like I'm pointing it to myself and going, look how great I am, and at the same time wanting to say your doctor's office was helping you manage a 13, A, 1c, and a podcast got you where

Janelle 41:32
5.9 and we are at 5.7 now I'm gonna

Scott Benner 41:36
go on Space Mountain 5.7 right now. That's wonderful. Good for you. What how does she manage now? What gear does she have?

Janelle 41:44
So we do have, we still have the, you know, Dexcom g6 and then we also have the OmniPod five. However, I do not run it in auto mode,

Scott Benner 41:52
so you're just using OmniPod basically. Yes, yeah, okay. Have you not tried it yet? Or did

Janelle 41:59
I have tried it a few times again, type A personality comes out, and I get really frustrated because I'm not in control, and it's just keeping her higher than I'd like. So after we went on the OmniPod, her a 1c went up to 6.1 from the 5.9 and I was like, that's it. We're not doing this anymore. We're going to manual mode, where I can control her basal and I have control.

Scott Benner 42:21
Oh, I'm not laughing at you, Janelle, but at least you know that you have control issues. That's good. But 661, would be amazing, by the way. But I take your point, if it's something you want to be involved in, then you know it's something you want to be involved in. I

Janelle 42:34
feel like it's less work than auto mode was for me because of your mindset, yeah, and because I just, there was a lot of correcting, you know, because I would just have her sitting, you know, in 160 for hours and not bring her down. It was really great for the lows. Don't get me wrong, but it's just, it's not aggressive enough. And I'm really hoping that, you know, within time they will lower that, you know, 110 to, like a 90, and then maybe she can set, you know, right above 100 but she was sitting at like 137 all night, and I just why when I could have her in the 80s or the 90s?

Scott Benner 43:12
Yeah, no. I mean, listen, I hope that all the pump companies continue to make their algorithms more aggressive to the point where they can manage the numbers that people are looking for if that's if that's what you want, you know, and it's fantastic and good for you for doing it. But you're not sleeping. What about at night? Can't you get her to 80 and then just go to bed and put it into auto it

Janelle 43:33
will, she'll slowly creep up to 130

Scott Benner 43:35
okay? And that's the target I am getting

Janelle 43:39
sleep because I have her basal so dialed in. She She rides between 80 and 100 at night. Janelle,

Scott Benner 43:45
are you trying to say that the information contained in this podcast is allowing you to do that 100%

Janelle 43:53
so before we got the OmniPod, I literally sat down and listened to all before I put it on her sat down and listened to all the Pro Tip series, had a notebook, took notes, learned vocabulary, because, you know, you're also shooting words in the beginning that we don't know. I'm like, What the heck is Basil? What the heck is you know this, so I'm, like, writing it in a notebook. I am like, going to school with your podcast.

Scott Benner 44:17
I'm Professor Scott, yes. Who's Jenny? Is she the lunch lady? No, no. She's like, Who is she? She's like, the principal. Probably, right, yeah,

Janelle 44:25
maybe the principal.

Scott Benner 44:27
I'm thrilled that it helped you. Like, genuinely, I feel proud. To be perfectly honest with you, I actually had a moment this morning. I know, if people use my Facebook group, a lot of people celebrate their wins in there, and it's really terrific. Like, but I don't ever do that. I never, like, go in and be like, hey, like, you know, you should see Arden's bolus that we, you know, or whatever. Like, I just don't do that, you know. I got a note from a friend today that said, Hey, if you haven't listened to your episode, like, listen to it like a fan, not like you're editing it or something. Like that. If you haven't listened to your episode called after dark prison, you should go back and listen to it. I just listened to it. Oh, did you? And so I turned it on this morning while I was taking a shower and screwing with the dogs and stuff like that, and dealing with the baby birds that we saved outside and, oh my God, and all that stuff. And I have to tell you, I got done, I went to the group, and I put up a post, and I was like, I actually said, I'm like, can I celebrate something with you guys for a second? Because

Janelle 45:25
I just read that right before we got on that episode. It is, it is a really good episode. Yeah. I mean, I loved it, and you deserve it. You do. I honestly think that you saved my life, my daughter's life, and my marriage.

Scott Benner 45:40
Oh, wow, I'll take a card at Christmas. Look at me glossing over the what you just said, which was so nice, like, I realized, like, you don't know how fast this goes, like, I record every day with somebody, and then those episodes go into a folder. They get magically through the internet, whisked completely across the country, where an editor takes care of, like, you know, the stuff you don't even know is happening, like gaps and noises and everything. It makes it infinitely more listenable and and sound better all that stuff. And and then I don't see it again until it comes back into another folder. And then the next time I see it, the truth is, is that I just kind of, like, I do the like, Hello friends and welcome to episode. Like, I do that, and then I like, drop in ads that people have bought, and, you know, I put them in where they go, and I packed the whole thing together, and I stuff it online, but I don't ever really listen back through it again, so I only have the conversation. I don't usually listen to them. But as I was listening to it, I was like, when I push record with with Stephanie in 1202, all I knew was she had type one diabetes and she had been to prison and nothing else. And you listened to that episode, that episode could be on NPR. It could be, yeah, you know what I mean. It could be a two hour interview with Howard Stern with somebody famous, like, it's really, you know

Janelle 46:56
how to ask the right question, I feel like. And you guide the you guide all your lists, or, sorry, your speakers through.

Scott Benner 47:05
Yeah, I don't think about myself that way, but I did today, and I was just generally speaking, I was proud of myself, and then an hour later, I'm very proud of what the management stuff did for you. You know what I mean? Like, it's, I'm thrilled for you, but you have to understand, like, I just started a podcast. I didn't think that 10 years later a lady named Janelle would come on and say, Hey, you might have saved my marriage and my sanity. And like, blah, blah, blah. Like, I didn't think that was gonna happen. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's weird. Yeah, it's a weird position to ban. But anyway, today I am allowing myself to feel proud. Because normally, despite what you might think, when I'm joking around on the podcast, I generally walk around thinking, I'm not good at this. I have to do better. It's not helping enough people. Like those are usually the ways I think about the podcast. So I'm celebrating today. You should.

Janelle 47:53
Yeah, you deserve it. You should. You are part of myself. I hear all the time like, how can we reach more people? And I see that I you know, I know somebody else whose daughter has type one, and I just know that they're not getting the help that they need, and the family's just not capable of doing it on their own. And I'm just so frustrated that the hospital and the doctors aren't stepping in. Can

Scott Benner 48:22
I ask you a question you might be uniquely qualified to answer? If I could rerelease like bold beginnings or the Pro Tip series in Spanish, do you think that would help people? Yes, okay, because immensely it would not be in a human voice, I'm sorry to say, but I'm working on it right now, again, through AI, but here I think I can on a second, if

Janelle 48:50
they can find the podcast. Yes, I think then 100% because, like my mother in law, had a really hard time understanding the diagnosis. And I wish there was something that I could give her to listen to. Listen

Scott Benner 49:05
to this for a second. Let me see if you can hear this.

Speaker 1 49:07
Hola amigos y bienvenidos a la serie de consejos profesionales sobre diabetes del podcast juicebox. Estos episodio San sido remasterizados para una mejor calidad de sonido por Rob and wrong way, recording cuando necesitas que se haga bien Elise wrong way. Wrong

Scott Benner 49:29
is that reasonable?

Janelle 49:32
I think so. Although so all of my kids are in like a dual immersion school, so they've learned Spanish since kindergarten. So like my, you know, 17 year old is fully bilingual, and she will say, like, book Spanish. And that kind of Spanish is a little bit harder to understand because the general public, especially here in California, they don't speak book Spanish. They speak, you know, street Spanish. It's a little different. So

Scott Benner 49:59
the only. The only option I have at the moment right is to take a transcript from the episode, feed it through AI, let AI spit it back out in Spanish, then feed that back into the AI, and have it send out an mp three with like, that's not a real person speaking, that's a computer. And so that's my only option right now. There's no other way for me to do it. Do you think it's a waste of time, or do you think I should try an episode or two and see if it works? I think

Janelle 50:27
you should try it. Okay, I really do. If you can reach any other, you know, population that's not being reached, then I think it's valuable. Okay, all right.

Scott Benner 50:35
And then what I would probably do is I would probably launch a new podcast that was just juicebox podcast in Spanish, yeah, and then only probably do, like, bowl beginnings, pro tips, like, more management stuff inside of that. Because I don't, I don't think, I can't imagine that, like, my conversation with the lady in prison would, like, translate well, like, do you know they mean, like, back and forth conversation like I

Janelle 51:01
think. So I think at least having the Pro Tip series, having the definitions in there, I think because something that I also don't think the doctors realize is that they're using words that we don't know either, I didn't know what you know pre bolus was, I didn't know what your basal was. They're telling you fast acting and short acting insulin, but then they're not telling you all those things. But then when you go in the office, they're using those words. So I think even if somebody can hear those Pro Tips series in Spanish, then they're having they're being able to understand even their doctors better. I feel like,

Scott Benner 51:36
yeah, no, I agree. I The defining diabetes series, I think is really important, actually, yes. And for the exact same reasons that you said, like, they just start talking, and you just, your brain does its best to, like, fill in, but you're not going to fill in what basal means. On day one, they'll say basal, and then somebody else will come in the room and call it, like, long acting insulin, right? Or they'll call

Janelle 52:00
then you're thinking that they're talking about two different things. You know, that's what I'm saying, that you're just like, what's going on here?

Scott Benner 52:05
Yeah, when, when you talk to three different people, and one person says Nova log, one person says mealtime, insulin, and one person says rapid acting insulin, you don't know those three things are the same thing? No, yeah, no. It's, it's really, it's really a problem, actually. And, and this is the, to me, the quickest way to do it, like short episodes. Hey, hey, Jenny. We're here to talk about Basil. Basil is this blah, blah, blah. Here's a, you know, here's a contextual conversation about it for a few minutes. Nothing overwhelming. And, you know, not too long, then you move on. I want to give a lot of credit to somebody this, this lady named Laura kolojeski, she worked at sanafi diabetes years ago, and one of the things she did was she built an online dictionary for diabetes. And it's, it's, of course, the funk now it doesn't exist. Then, you know, their website's gone, etc. But that idea stuck with me for a long time about what a value that was, and that's why I made that defining diabetes series. That

Janelle 53:05
was a, that's a huge that series is was huge for me. So again, in the beginning, I was just added to the Facebook group, and even the things people were saying, I was like, What are they talking about? Like, and I was like, Googling in the search of the Facebook group, like the words, like, trying to figure out, you know what it was. I was like, What is looping? What is you know, I'm like, this is like a foreign language when you're first diagnosed. Do

Scott Benner 53:26
you ever see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? Janelle, no. At the end of the movie, they fly around the country and go door to door to all the people that made fun of them online and beat them up. It's kind of stupid and funny. I have this, like, daydream of me going door to door and making everybody listen to the bold beginning series.

Janelle 53:46
Yeah, I think, I think that would be, I mean, that's the first step again. When I first started the podcast, I kind of started listening randomly. And then I was like, I think I heard you say in one of the episodes about, you know, the um, old beginnings. And so I went back again with my little notebook. Now I'm, like, so seasoned, I can run why I'm listening to you and take mental notes. But in the beginning, I had to sit there with my notebook and, you know, like I said, write down all the words and go over them, and then that that a that abled me to listen to your other episodes and take information without being super confused. Yeah,

Scott Benner 54:23
no. There's no perfect way to disseminate everything like you want to. There's like part of you that wants to say, well, episode one should be defining, and then those first 50 should be defining, and then it should go into both beginnings, then pro tips and etc. But there's no way to organize it that way, and

Janelle 54:40
not even that. I learned something from every episode, even if it's not, if it's just someone talking I mean, it's super valuable for everything in my life, like even the prison episode they were just talking about. I was running yesterday listening to it, and I'm thinking, like, okay, my daughter's gonna be okay, just because I know. You know, she's okay, and she made through this, and she made it through that. So it's just, I able to relate to almost every single episode some way in my life. Oh, I'm

Scott Benner 55:10
glad that's one. I also like, you know, look, and I've talked about this before, but if I put it all out in order, nobody would listen to it that way either. It'd be overwhelming and it would be boring. You'd be like, Oh, my God, let's have 50 of these in a row, so you have to spread them around. But you know that when you do that, you're you're gonna stop somebody from finding it, or they'll miss a week and they won't see something like there's just no perfect way to do it. And the other, the other truth is, is that I didn't start with a with a blueprint for what I was gonna do with the podcast like this, I made this podcast as it came to me, like, I'm like, oh, now I'm gonna define words. And then I'm like, maybe I'm gonna make a Pro Tip series. And then after the Pro Tip series, someone said to me, would be nice if there was a series that's not quite as in depth as the Pro Tip series, like, oh, we'll do a bold beginning series. And like, I'm looking at my whiteboard now, and there's like, endless content ideas up there, and I do them when they make sense to me, and that's, you know, the only thing I have, like, and I only have so much time, and I gotta keep making a podcast in between, like, having conversations with people, because people are expecting content. If they don't get it, they'll go find it somewhere else, or they'll go listen to, you know something else, or watch a Netflix show, or something like it's there's a lot going on here. You know what I mean for me? Yeah,

Janelle 56:26
so I think you did an amazing job. I think it's awesome. Thank you. I, like I said, I listened to it almost daily. It's like my little therapy session when I'm running.

Scott Benner 56:35
I'm glad that's wonderful. Okay, Janelle, is there anything we haven't talked about that we should have?

Janelle 56:40
I just think I wanted to mention I don't know, I don't know how to say without going in too long, but

Scott Benner 56:45
you don't have a time limit. Go ahead. Okay,

Janelle 56:48
so I just recently found out that I thought my older kids were, you know, taking the diagnosis like a champ, and it wasn't really affecting them, but it just came to light that they were both very affected by the diagnosis in their own ways, and were struggling with it. And it was, you know, coming out in school and other, you know, behavioral things. And it finally came to light, and I was like, Oh, wow, this is, like, a family diagnosis. It's just not mom dad in type one, you know, it's the whole family, and it's, I just want to, like, tell the other parents out there like that are newly diagnosed, just make sure you're checking in on your other kids.

Scott Benner 57:30
Yeah. No, it is. It is really important. How did it come to light? What did they say something? Or did you kind of figure something out?

Janelle 57:38
Well, with my son, he was just struggling in a lot of aspects of his life. So I saw it there, and then my daughter literally told me what I have, I have medical anxiety from Ariel's diagnosis, and she wasn't in the hospital with us. She didn't come, you know, to the Children's Hospital. She didn't see her. But they were home alone. They were home alone by themselves, you know, with and I think maybe didn't know 100% what was going on or if their sister was going to survive. So I think that really affected them. And then we come home and we're, we're zombie parents for three months, you know, because we're trying to learn how to manage this disease, and we're so emotional and we're so tired that they were not getting the parenting that they needed. And so, yeah, it just really did affect them. And like I said, in different ways. And my son, I can just see it. I could see it. And my daughter actually told me, you know,

Scott Benner 58:34
do you think they're worried they're going to get diabetes or that just something bad is going to happen in general? Something

Janelle 58:40
bad is going to happen. In general, I think they both were, did the trial net and myself, and neither of them have any antibodies, not to say that. You know, it can't happen in the future. They I don't think they're worried they're going to get diabetes. I think they just are worried about what it entails. And then I think just seeing us so stressed and so run down during those first, you know, three to six months, I think just really affected them.

Scott Benner 59:10
I see, yeah, no, I can imagine. I'm sure my son tells me sometimes, like he's 24 and he's like, it wasn't easy. And I was like, okay, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, as a boy, he doesn't talk too much about it, but you know, to say that it like didn't bother him is wouldn't be fair. And at the same time, while it was happening, I didn't really think anything was happening, like he seemed okay to me. And we put a ton, we put a ton of effort into making sure there was as much equality as possible, but he still feels like it wasn't equal. And there's the thing, and that would happen in kids with, with or without diabetes. They're all, you know, go talk to big families. Every kid thinks that one of the other kids was a favorite. You know what? I mean? Yes. So, so it's kind of common there, too, but I'm glad you brought that up. That's a sincerely something to be paying attention to. And. Be working against if you have kids with type one, that's for sure. Yeah. Oh, Janelle, I appreciate you doing this very much. This was great. Did you cry more or less than you expected to bless good for you. That's

Unknown Speaker 1:00:12
excellent.

Scott Benner 1:00:14
How are you guys right now? You and your husband? Are things better?

Janelle 1:00:18
Yeah, I think things are better. I mean, I think we've just, I really think the diagnosis has helped us grow as people, individually, and then also in our marriage. I mean, the first again, the first three months were crazy and we hated each other and we wanted to murder each other because we had no sleep and, you know, we were, we felt like we were miserably failing. But I think now that we have a sense of like, okay, we can do this. You know, she hasn't a somewhat normal a 1c and I just think learning to live day by day and in the moment and not stress over the big things has just, yeah, I think it's really helped. Good.

Scott Benner 1:00:56
Well, I'm glad that's wonderful. I think there's opportunity, obviously, to grow in any situation, but it's hard to see it sometimes, and even harder to embrace it at times as well.

Janelle 1:01:06
Yes, yeah, really, especially when you're, you know, having no sleep, please,

Scott Benner 1:01:10
very little sleep and and all that guilt, right? Have you gotten rid of any of it yet? Or is it still with you? I've

Janelle 1:01:16
really been working on it, and I think I have gotten rid of a lot of it. It still pops up here and there, but the first six months, I would cry almost daily. I mean, I would just be driving, and I would just break down crying because I just felt so guilty. But I really embraced the fact that I did save her life. I did take her to the emergency room. I didn't wait till the next day to take her to the doctor. So my mom, you know, vibes, did come in, and I did do what she needed. That's

Scott Benner 1:01:50
excellent. Good for you. Yeah, don't, don't let go of the good stuff that you did. Seriously, like, I've been having a couple of conversations with people where this has come up recently, and you can't choose to just look at the part that went wrong. That's, you know, just not good for you. Okay. Well, I really appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you so much. Can you hold on for a second? Yes, thank you. I

want to thank the Eversense CGM for sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast. Learn more about its implantable sensor, smart transmitter and terrific mobile application at Eversense cgm.com/juicebox, get the only implantable sensor for long term wear. Get Eversense a huge thanks to the contour next gen blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast, learn more and get started today at contour. Next.com/juicebox Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test. Can spot type one diabetes early. Tap now talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com. For more info. If you have type two or pre diabetes, the type two diabetes Pro Tip series from the juicebox podcast is exactly what you're looking for. Do you have a friend or a family member who is struggling to understand their type two and how to manage it? This series is for them seven episodes to get you on track and up to speed. Episode 860, series intro, 864, guilt and shame. Episode 869, medical team. 874, fueling plan. Episode 880, diabetes technology. Episode 885, GLP ones, metformin and insulin. And in episode 889, we talk about movement. This episode is with me and Jenny Smith, of course, you know. Jenny is a Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist. She's a registered and licensed dietitian, and Jenny has had type one diabetes for over 30 years. Too many people don't understand their type two diabetes, and this series aims to fix that. Share it with a friend, or get started today. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed, you're following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The juicebox podcast. Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording, doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrongway recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You want rob you.

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#1333 IDU: Being Judgmental

Scott and Arden discuss roman numerals, green screens and being judgemental.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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Scott Benner 0:00
OmniPod, Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The juicebox podcast.

It looks like Arden is back today to talk about some things she doesn't understand, and it feels like we covered a couple of things in this episode. Looks like Roman numerals, green screens and being judgmental. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. If you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes, or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice, box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange.org/juice, box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com when you place your first order for AG, one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. AG, one.com/juicebox dot com slash juicebox.

This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by ag one drink. AG, one.com/juice box. Head there now to learn more about ag one. It's vegan friendly, gluten free, dairy free, non GMO, no sugar added, no artificial sweeteners. And when you make your first order with my link, you're going to get ag one and a welcome kit that includes a shaker, scoop and canister. You're also going to get five free travel packs and a year's supply of vitamin D with that first order at drink AG, one.com/juicebox today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by OmniPod and the OmniPod five learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juice box. What I don't know should be tackled today.

Unknown Speaker 2:19
Not gonna believe it, but I don't know.

Scott Benner 2:24
All right, I don't understand. Wait, you're

Arden Benner 2:26
not gonna believe this. Police allegedly discovered mushrooms and marijuana on 1000 pound sisters Amy slattin After she was bitten by camel.

Scott Benner 2:37
Is she from like, one of those TV shows? Yeah. Like the, like, the 1000 pounds, my 1000 pound wife, yeah,

Arden Benner 2:48
her and her sister are, like, super famous, I

Scott Benner 2:51
think, okay, Amy and Tammy. Yeah, that's their names. Okay, hold on a second. I've never seen it. What is this about a camel? She got to buy a camel, apparently, and

Unknown Speaker 3:06
she also has mushrooms and marijuana.

Scott Benner 3:07
So if I google my 1000 pound life camel, oh, here it is. Okay. Why 1000 pound sister star Amy Slayton was arrested at the zoo, according to a Facebook post made by a Crockett County Sheriff's Department on Monday, police responded to an unusual incident at the Tennessee safari park in Alamo, where a camel reportedly bit someone in slaton's party. However, when deputies arrived at the scene, they were met with strong, suspicious odors coming from her vehicle, prompting a further investigation. Her companion Brian and she were subsequently arrested after police found illegal substances in the vehicle, charging them with illegal possession of a schedule one, illegal possession of a schedule, oh, I'm not good at um, Roman numerals. What's VI is that six or five four minus one or five plus? Is it five? Do you know Roman numerals? When we start the episode, I don't understand Roman numerals. Okay, that's what we're doing. Hold on a second, um. Do you understand Roman numerals? No, which

Arden Benner 4:16
is why we shouldn't do it,

Scott Benner 4:18
because neither of us understand it.

Unknown Speaker 4:20
Hold on. If you don't know,

Scott Benner 4:23
I don't understand Roman numerals, let's see if it can get explained to me, Roman numerals are numeral. Uh, numeral, numer. Wait, numerals are numeral. Why would it say? Says Roman numerals are a numeral system used in ancient Rome. They are still used today in various contexts. Okay, so an i is one, a V is five, an X is 10, L is 50, C, 6100, D, but isn't v1 Oh, that's six. I. I guess it's five plus one. Oh, that's so stupid. And IV is five minus one, but that doesn't make sense. I mean, it does, but no, it doesn't right, like if v, if V, what if V, I is V, is five, I is one. Then I understand the five plus one because it's in order VI, but if you go IV, it's still five in the why? Why isn't it? I don't why would they do this? Uh, C is 100 D is 500 m is 1000 so if I said so, if x is 10 and I is one, what is x x, I x, I didn't hear anything. You just said, if x is 10 and I is one, what is x x i x, 31 Yeah, you would think so, because VI is six, but x, x, i, x is 10 plus 10 plus 10 minus one, so it's 29 is it possible that Rome fell because of their stupid counting system? Let's see what chat GPT says about that. Oh, it says it's a funny thought, but the fall of the room was because of their wasn't because their counting system, political instability, economic decline, military changes, challenges, social and cultural changes, huh? That sounds like everything else, doesn't it, power struggles and corruption in politics, heavy taxation, reliance on slave labor and inflation as far as economics go, repeated invasions by barbarian tribes like the Visigoths and the vandals. Oh, vandals. I guess that's where that comes from, internal conflicts and the Emperors over extension, the Empires over extension, erosion of Roman values, population decline due to plagues and the division of the empire into eastern and western halves, huh? Is that where we get the word vandal from let's do a little entomology on the word vandal. Oh, I was right.

Unknown Speaker 7:27
I don't know what we're talking about. I

Scott Benner 7:29
don't either we were talking about, I haven't talked my daughter is 20 years old. I can't even believe it. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she was two, and she put her first insulin pump on when she was four. That insulin pump was an OmniPod, and it's been an OmniPod every day since then. That's 16 straight years of wearing OmniPod. It's been a friend to us, and I believe it could be a friend to you, omnipod.com/juicebox whether you get the OmniPod dash, or the automation that's available with the OmniPod five, you are going to enjoy tubeless insulin pumping. You're going to be able to jump into a shower or a pool or a bathtub without taking off your pump. That's right, you will not have to disconnect to bathe with an OmniPod. You also won't have to disconnect to play a sport or to do anything where a regular tube pump has to come off. Arden has been wearing an OmniPod for 16 years. She knows other people that wear different pumps, and she has never once asked the question, should I be trying a different pump? Never once omnipod.com/juicebox get a pump that you'll be happy with forever. Oh, why don't you talk? What do you want to go over today in our episode? We have our whole

Unknown Speaker 8:46
list. Is not this is not grabbing me. All

Scott Benner 8:49
right, you look a little low energy, so I gotta get something that's gonna light you up. I'm

Unknown Speaker 8:53
so tired.

Scott Benner 8:55
Are you tired because you didn't sleep?

Unknown Speaker 8:58
I didn't sleep that much. I was doing homework last night.

Scott Benner 9:01
Is that because you spent all afternoon not doing homework when you were supposed to do it, then you had to stay up late to do it.

Arden Benner 9:07
I mean, like, kind of but not really. I was doing other things I had to do so you

Scott Benner 9:11
were not procrastinating. No,

Arden Benner 9:13
also, I, like, this is irrelevant. Just continue.

Scott Benner 9:17
I'm gonna put procrastination on our list of things I don't understand. But can I understand it completely? I don't know if you do. Maybe there's, like, a psychological reason, like, uh,

Arden Benner 9:27
it was actually what we talked about my first day of Psych class. So I understand it. You understood.

Scott Benner 9:31
Okay, we'll save it for another time. Let's do something you can get excited about today. Do we want to talk about where weight goes when you lose weight. Do we want to talk about gaslighting black holes, or why there are no more staple foods? All right, so pick one. We'll do one episode, and we're out how weed vaporizing works. Who decided when the. First Monday would happen? How did we get to the two party political system? Can dogs love

Arden Benner 10:12
all I can think about is How to Get Away with Murder, because that's what I've been watching.

Scott Benner 10:16
You don't understand how people get away with murder? Let's I'm no,

Arden Benner 10:20
I'm literally just saying, all I can think about is the show. Do you have

Scott Benner 10:25
a green screen behind you? No, wait, then how does your cup just Oh, because the green screen is, like, turned on in the settings. Oh, and I have a green cup, so it disappeared in my hand. That's weird, isn't it? How do green screens work? Like, seriously, I'm holding a green cup, and you can see the shape and the the silver rim, but the rest of it just looks invisible. That's, yeah, wait, I have this thing that everything's written on in green. Can you see the words? You can.

Arden Benner 11:01
I mean, they're like, a little green screen,

Scott Benner 11:04
a little dicey. How does a green How about the cap of this pen?

Unknown Speaker 11:07
Yeah,

Scott Benner 11:08
but like, your plants aren't in the background, yeah, I don't understand. Can we do you want to find out how a green screen works, since we're talking about it, how do you imagine it works?

Arden Benner 11:19
I imagine they just input into the system to identify that certain shade of green, and then the

Scott Benner 11:27
system. What's

Unknown Speaker 11:31
I don't know the system,

Scott Benner 11:32
the matrix. I

Arden Benner 11:35
don't know my I'm in that intro to computer programming class right now, and if there's one thing I know, it's I will never have a career in this because I cannot even figure out how to open the lab.

Scott Benner 11:48
So what is it a programming class?

Arden Benner 11:51
I mean, I guess, but I don't know, because I can't figure it out at all. There is nothing about it that I like what I don't even understand how to open the project that we're doing. What's the

Scott Benner 12:03
class called Intro to Computer Programming. Intro to Computer programming. So it's about computer languages. So then they give you a module or something that you need to do the work for. And you can't get that. Don't ask me, Is it? What language? It's a Java, Java, okay, how would I open JavaScript? No, no.

Arden Benner 12:26
I don't want to do this right now, because I have to think about it later. So don't even okay. It's literally been on my mind the whole week. I've asked four people who know how to use Java, and they also cannot help me. It's insane. You

Scott Benner 12:38
got to do a screen share with them so they can, just because they could probably just click, click right through it, I did. All right, listen, let's go back to green screening. All right, there are, let's see. First of all, you want to know why it's a green screen and not like, why is it not a blue screen or a red screen or a black screen?

Unknown Speaker 12:59
Are you asking me to guess? Yeah,

Scott Benner 13:03
because it's

Arden Benner 13:05
a color that's most infrequently worn by people so they can use it more often.

Scott Benner 13:11
Green is used because digital cameras are more sensitive to green, allowing for a cleaner removal with less noise. It also stands out better against most subjects as green is not a common clothing or skin color. Pardon? You got some of that one that's exciting. I can I be honest with you when you made that answer, I thought, what an idiot. There's no way that's right. All right, sorry about that. Blue screens are used sometimes, particularly when the subject is wearing green, or if there's a lot of green in the scene, like filming in a forest, for example. So blue and green seems to be how it goes the process a green screen works by using a technique called chroma keying, which allows video producers. She already heard of that before. You know what this is, I think. So it allows video producers to remove a specific color, usually green or blue, from a video or image, and replace it with another background or scene. Here's how it works, huh? Well, I think we know how it works, right? You stand in front of a screen and then, like I've used to use it in Photoshop, because if you take a picture in front of a green screen, you can just do the select, all the green, cut it out, then clean up the edge, and boom, you have it. But I guess it's doing that digitally. Now for video, also, I know that lighting is really important, because I do have a green screen, and when I put it up behind me, if I don't bottom light the screen, I get a green glow around me sometimes, which is not healthy looking. What? Not healthy looking? Yeah, I look like, it looks weird. Like my hair looks like, like in between my hair follicles looks green. If I'm not well lit, didn't you didn't use the right word, yeah, I apologize. Proper lighting is crucial to ensure that the green screen is evenly lit with no shadows or variations color. This makes it easier for the software to identify and remove the green color. All right, the color is keyed out, meaning it's made transparent. Okay? So during post production, video editing, software analyzes the footage, identifies the green screen, the green color in the background, it's keyed out, which means that it's made transparent, effectively removing it from the image. The software then replaces the green areas with the new background, which could be anything from a different location to an entirely computer generated screen. Huh? There are limitations to it, etc. But you said, what? Again, the system does it. That's what I just said, Yes. Do you ever worry that you don't understand how anything works? Yeah,

Arden Benner 15:45
and then I look at people who are complete idiots, and they understand a lot less than I do, and I think I'm completely fine.

Scott Benner 15:51
So I don't know how a green screen works, but this person doesn't understand what anything so. So I'm so you're not trying to be the best. You're just trying to beat the ones you can beat easily, not trying to beat anyone. I'm just feeling comfortable with it,

Arden Benner 16:09
all right. And there are some things that I am better at than other people. Oh, for certain

Scott Benner 16:14
do I name what they are right now. Now a word from today's sponsor, AG, one drink. Ag one.com/juicebox, I get my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, adaptogens and more from ag one, and I get it every morning. In a recent study, 97% of participants felt digestion improved after 90 days of drinking. Ag one. In another study, ag one was actually shown to double the amount of healthy bacteria in the gut. I'm looking for that and more, and that's why I look to AG one. Ag one is made with bioavailable ingredients that actually work with my body. So start with ag one and notice the difference for yourself. It's a great first step to investing in your health, and that's why they've been a proud partner of mine for so long. Try ag one and get a free bottle of vitamin d3, k2, and five free. Ag one, travel packs with your first purchase at drink. AG, one.com/juice, box. That's a $48 value for free if you go to my link drink. AG, one.com/juice, box. Check it out.

Arden Benner 17:19
No, I don't know what they are, but there's some stuff. Do

Scott Benner 17:24
you ever have that feeling when, like, you do something like, Oh, I'm really good at this.

Arden Benner 17:28
Sometimes when I talk to people, I'm just, like, thinking. I'm like, Oh, I can. I don't know if they can think.

Scott Benner 17:35
What tells you that about them, like, what makes you question somebody's brainpower, like, thinking ability,

Arden Benner 17:41
everything you know what quote I most definitely agree with, I disagree with. Don't judge a book by its cover because I, in fact, judge a book by its cover

Scott Benner 17:49
constantly. How often are you right?

Arden Benner 17:52
I like, I like, not like 70% of the time, but like i i always judge a book by its cover. How do I how do I phrase this? None of this makes me sound good.

Scott Benner 18:08
Oh, cancel me. I'll say something that doesn't make me sound good, if you want but finish your thought first.

Arden Benner 18:15
I don't even know how I can finish my thought, but

Scott Benner 18:17
like, how about you just now i You're gonna make fun of me here. I reject the idea that seeing people and assessing them means you're being judgmental.

Arden Benner 18:33
I don't think that means you're being judgmental, but you are judgmental, but I don't think I am. There's a certain way that you can go about seeing someone and like analyzing them and not being judgey, but you do not have that like you will be judgmental every single time. Okay,

Scott Benner 18:53
hold on a second. If you make a snap judgment based on someone's appearance, background or other superficial characteristics, it can be unfair and judgmental. Do I do that snap decisions based on their appearance, background or other super superficial characteristics? You see me doing that

Arden Benner 19:10
every single time, okay, all right, but

Scott Benner 19:14
is it not important what you do with it? Then what do I mean? If I look up and I see something happening, I make an assessment about it. I think because I'm trying to protect myself or understand my surroundings or whatever, it's not like I would look at someone make a judgment and then walk up to them and go, Hello, I've judged you as this. I just wanted to let you know, and if I had to deal with that person in a real life situation for whatever reason, and I don't mean deal in like a pejorative way. I just meant if I had an interaction with them, I would not treat them poorly based on my assessment, that I know for sure. So am I judging them? Yeah,

Arden Benner 19:53
I'm not saying that you would treat them poorly, but you definitely treat them differently than other people. You

Scott Benner 19:58
think 100% I don't feel like that. I feel like maybe we talk like that privately, special.

Arden Benner 20:03
You're not special. That's everyone is like that. I'm like that. Everyone who's listening to this is like that. They will treat someone differently, and they don't even mean to do it. It's just how our brains work.

Scott Benner 20:14
Okay, this is the point I'm trying to get to. So it also says when it's unkind or dismissive, assessing people becomes judgmental when it turns into criticism, mockery or disdain. I don't disdain. I don't have this criticism to who though to them?

Arden Benner 20:28
Yeah, Dad, you're judgmental. You think everyone is? Yeah, everyone's a little judgmental.

Scott Benner 20:33
Because I was talking to somebody about this the other day, and they said, I think it's just a human condition, like, I don't think it's I don't think it's necessarily bad. I just think it's, oh, here it is. Is everyone judgmental? Yes, to some extent, everyone is judgmental because it's a natural part of being human.

Arden Benner 20:49
All right, stop using chat GTP, and use your brain for a second. How about that? Okay, try that out.

Scott Benner 20:54
Well, I think that. I mean, I guess that's what I think, what I said at the beginning, which is, like, you assess everything that's going on, and you have to slot it into where it fits, commiserate to your past experiences, right? So I don't know

Arden Benner 21:10
what you're saying right now. What I'm saying is that you're judgmental. I'm judgmental. Everyone is judgmental, but you are more so judgmental than other people. You are more critical, more this, more that.

Scott Benner 21:23
Have you ever seen me say something to a person? No, right? Yes, people we know or like strangers, no strangers. I've approached a stranger and been judgmental to them when all the

Arden Benner 21:38
time you're not your internet personality. Wait, no, no, I

Scott Benner 21:40
don't even understand what you're saying. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. I feel like you've made this up. So please, crazy, give me a time when I've approached a

Arden Benner 21:49
I don't think you want me to give a time. You

Scott Benner 21:54
actually can think of one. I can think of a handful. Give me just like a smattering around the edges so I can hear it and think of like, what it is. No,

Unknown Speaker 22:03
I'm not gonna say that on here, really. Yeah. Okay.

Scott Benner 22:08
So for my dollar, for my money, I think you're right. I think that everybody makes assessments right, and you are judging things, meaning that you assess something and then you slot it into your experiences. So I don't like something like, how green is something right? Like, it doesn't even have to be a person like, oh, that's the greenest thing I've ever seen. It's lighter, like, I've seen greener than that. You are making a judgment every time you see something that I understand. So if you do that about another person, if you look at somebody, go, Oh, you look dirty. Let's just say that, right? Like, you just look like you have not had a shower in a while. That assessment comes from how clean I've seen people and how dirty I've seen people in life. You're a dirty person. You look dirty. I see you five days in a row. You're always dirty. Okay,

Arden Benner 22:53
to me, to me being judgmental is if you said to that person, oh, you're dirty, and then after that, you treat that person differently because you just you think that they're dirty.

Scott Benner 23:08
I reject again that I would ever say to that person, stop saying.

Unknown Speaker 23:12
I reject, not in court. I

Scott Benner 23:13
reject your assertion that I would ever say, Oh, you look dirty, that I would go up to a person I didn't know and say, Oh, my God, you look dirty? I wouldn't do that. You've said that to me

Arden Benner 23:23
before.

Scott Benner 23:24
I know you. I'm trying to help you. This is ridiculous. Okay, no, I think this is about I think I think people hear this and I agree. Go ahead.

Arden Benner 23:33
You are not judgmental. You're the least judgy person. I don't think I'm

Scott Benner 23:36
the least judgy person of anybody. I do. I listen. I will say this. I pay attention to everything around me, and it's to a degree that I don't even understand.

Arden Benner 23:45
I actually have a theory that I pay more attention than you do.

Scott Benner 23:49
Oh yeah, go ahead.

Arden Benner 23:50
I'm like, I think in our family, I'm the most observant person.

Scott Benner 23:54
Are you the most judgmental?

Arden Benner 23:55
I'm up there. But I don't think I am. I think you are. It's not mom. Mom is only judgmental to certain groups of people. She's mean when she's judgmental too. Yeah, she's she's a mean, judgmental person. Cole's not even judgmental. He's just

Scott Benner 24:13
Cole's assessing everything constantly, but like so here's an example. When you and I drive down the street together, like a highway. Would you say that you as many people as you physically can? Do you look at their face when you're driving by them?

Arden Benner 24:29
I used to when I was younger, and I don't anymore. Don't

Scott Benner 24:32
anymore. I don't do it as much as I used to, but I used to like see every person that I drove. You do

Arden Benner 24:37
it. You do it all the time. Still, it's not conscious. You will lean over in your seat to see the person next to you, but Yeah, and look at that. No, I'm telling the truth. Okay, this is like, what? Like, what are we even fighting about here? Like,

Scott Benner 24:56
I'm just correct. I'm just trying to understand. Like, I don't understand. Like, okay. Okay, like, so use this as an example. We're driving. I don't know why I do it. We're driving, and I make icon like, I know I look at everybody because I want to assess, like, what's happening. No? Because you're competitive on the road, you think I feel like I'm beating them,

Arden Benner 25:19
yeah? You feel like you're beating every single person you pass on the road. I

Scott Benner 25:23
feel like I'm making a composite of like, when I see how a car's driving, I kind of look at how the car drives. Is it erratic? Is it fast? Is it whatever? Is it to one side? What kind of car is it? And then Who Do I See driving it, and then I feel like the next time I see a car doing that, I look to see if the person looks like the person I expect them to look like. Okay, well, back to chatgpt for a second. There are reasons why people make judgments, survival instincts, social navigation and decision making. We constantly assess and judge to make choices, from small ones like which movie to watch, to bigger ones, like who to befriend or trust. We often judge people's expressions, tones, behaviors, to understand their emotions and tensions, or if they're trustworthy. This helps us form relationships, cooperations and to build trust. And our ancestors needed to make quick judgments about their surroundings to survive. Is this person a threat? Is it safe to eat? And that instinct persists today. So what I'm hearing is, you are safer because you're with me, and I'm paying attention to a lot of stuff also, as you're trying to, like, put point this at me, you and I notice the same thing about everything we do. We have different

Arden Benner 26:40
reasons for looking what we do with that information is different. I'll

Scott Benner 26:44
do anything with the information. What do you think I'm doing? Like I'm making a list.

Unknown Speaker 26:47
I think you're judging.

Scott Benner 26:49
Well, what are you doing? Then, if I'm judging, what are you doing?

Arden Benner 26:53
I think I'm more So analyzing a person. So I'm, like, aware of my surroundings, and I know what's going on, but you also do that, but you, your main focus is like to judge a person.

Scott Benner 27:06
You are so full of shit right now, you don't even understand. So you think when you do it, it's for good, when I do it, it's for bad. I

Arden Benner 27:12
didn't say it was for good or for bad assets, for different reasons,

Scott Benner 27:15
but your reasons better than mine. If that's what you think, I don't think that. I think that's what you're saying. Well, if

Arden Benner 27:22
you don't think that, then it's not true. You don't have to agree with me. See, you're you're competitive right now I'm gonna crack my

Scott Benner 27:27
back. Could not hear it on the microphone. What a letdown. It says here that a judgment is a neutral or constructive assessment based on observation, evidence and experience. Being judgmental is negative bias or unfair evaluations often based on superficial factors, stereotypes and limited information. I gotta be honest. I think everyone's judgmental, and I think everyone doesn't think they're judgmental. Here's how you can make judgments without being judgmental. Stay open minded. I am open minded. Why would you laugh like that? I'm incredibly open minded. I seek understanding. I'm always asking questions. Check my biases, practice empathy. I am empathetic. Now, I asked it a new question. This is about you. Why would one person see themselves as less judgmental than others? And it has some opinions about you. I mean, the question, hold on a second.

Arden Benner 28:19
I think it's it's so telling that you can't come up with these answers using your own brain. That's what I think. And I'm judging you. Some people have a self perception how i i openly say it.

Scott Benner 28:34
Some people have a self perception bias, which is a thing that happens more with younger people than older people too.

Unknown Speaker 28:42
If anyone has that, it's

Scott Benner 28:43
you. I think we all have that. I wouldn't say I don't have that,

Arden Benner 28:47
but you have it to the highest degree. Can we get? Can we phone mom?

Scott Benner 28:52
No, that lady should not be allowed to talk about that. She's you know? Why? Because she's gonna agree with me. Very judgmental.

Unknown Speaker 29:00
Miss Cole home. No,

Scott Benner 29:03
I don't. I'm not. I only have two microphones, so, uh, so he so he's in his room, is what I'm hearing. So there's a self serving bias, there's personal values and beliefs. If someone strongly values fairness, compassion or not, non judgment, they may actively strive to avoid being judgmental. I don't avoid being judgmental. I don't think you definitely don't avoid it. So this is the also, by the way, social comparisons, cognitive blind spots, different definitions of being judgmental, experience and empathy, mindfulness and self reflection. This is where I think most people differ on this. I'm being serious now, different definitions of being judgmental. I'm gonna tell you that I 1,000,000% genuinely do not think I'm judgmental in the way that it's meant when you say you're judgmental. Yes, I look at people, events, situations, everything, and I'm constantly slotting it in my mind based on what I've seen before. And. I do make a lot of decisions based on that, but I do not and would not hold somebody back, treat somebody poorly, say something to someone's face based on any of that stuff. You know what? You're definitely not self aware. Self aware so but I've had this conversation recently in a group of people, and I have to tell you that, generally speaking, in that conversation, men, what

Unknown Speaker 30:27
were you in a research I do,

Scott Benner 30:29
I do research. I get in groups and I talk men, I find don't see this as judgmental. Women see it more as being judgmental. And what if that's because I'm in my heart not being judgmental, and in your heart you are being judgmental. So you put it on me. This isn't what Jesus meant to happen. What did Jesus mention? What do you think Jesus meant to happen? I've never met him, but he didn't. He didn't want us to talk about being judgmental. I

Arden Benner 31:00
just hear here's how we'll sum this up. You're wrong, and I'm you're like, not wrong about anything other than the fact that you are judgmental. And I openly say I'm judgmental,

Scott Benner 31:12
but I'm saying I think everyone is like, I think everyone's doing what you're describing you.

Arden Benner 31:16
You are the type of person to see someone, and as soon as you judge them, the words come

Scott Benner 31:21
out of your mouth. I'm just doing a podcast out loud for just the people who are around me. No, that's not true. No, I believe it is. And I think this is where the difference lies in the interpretation I actually make a I have a list of things that I talk about with a therapist on the podcast, and I'm gonna add this to that list. Actually, hold on a second. Let me find my Erica list right now. Add a couple days of this to that list. Sometimes we do serious about them. Wait. You publish them online the list. No, your therapist

Unknown Speaker 31:51
sessions.

Scott Benner 31:53
It's not she's not my therapist. She's a therapist that comes on the show and you talk to her about what's wrong with you. No, we talk about big ideas, and I'm open during those conversations, much like I'm being with you right now.

Arden Benner 32:05
Well, you should go to her privately.

Scott Benner 32:06
I don't think she I don't think she can see me as a therapist and do my podcast with me. Is that true? I don't know. I can ask her, but probably not. I mean, she probably wouldn't want to. Also, I'd have to see her remotely. And I don't think she can see people from New Jersey for insurance reasons. This is not the point. The point is this. I think what this conversation comes down to is the definition of what being judge judged means. And if I'm talking about somebody in the privacy of my car and they cannot hear me, I am not making a judgment about them. A judgment completely disagree judgment happens when they become aware of it.

Arden Benner 32:43
I completely disagree with you. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 32:46
I respect that.

Scott Benner 32:47
I know that I'm on one side of the other of that argument. I think a lot of people would say that, yeah, I'm not being judgmental, and they don't even know what I'm saying. It's almost like, this is I really don't think anyone would wait. I almost like, I think I'm gonna get myself in trouble, but like, I think of that like it's the same way I think of online bullying. If no one sees you saying it, you're not being bullied. So if someone comes online, and trust me, this happens to me. So if someone comes online,

Arden Benner 33:13
there's a complete difference between bullying and being judgmental, because you are still bullying a person online, they have not been bullied. If they don't see what you said about them, right? You are still judging a person. They just don't know that they have been judged. So

Scott Benner 33:36
for what I'm telling you is, is that I think it's an assessment. It would become a judgment if I made them aware of it. That's my thought process on this. Okay? Arden, one. Scott, zero. It's an assessment. If you make it privately, or if you share it with like close family or something like that, I'm assessing the situation. I'm not being judgmental of them, unless I put it on them, and my intention is to change them, shame them, make them feel bad or make them feel judged. That's how I think of it. I'm being serious, like I know my heart, like I don't feel poorly towards people. I am not a person who runs around like, being like, Oh, what a scumbag. Or I can't believe they did that they should, you know, whatever, I don't have feelings like that about people, and I think that a lot of people I do, but I think a lot of people get into situations that have nothing like that aren't their fault, but it's still their situation, and to discuss it honestly isn't being judgmental. That's all. That's where I'm at on this one. Look at we started slow, but we finished well, it's excellent. Thank you. Are you having fun? Are you glad I bought you a nice microphone to take to college?

Arden Benner 34:51
No, I don't. This is just space taken. Yeah,

Scott Benner 34:55
you sound terrific, though. This is going to be great. Rob appreciates it when he's editing, for sure. Yeah, we know what I've been really into. Go ahead, we have time, planters, cocktail peanuts.

Unknown Speaker 35:13
Why have you been really into planters

Scott Benner 35:14
cocktail peanuts?

Arden Benner 35:17
I think it's just because they've been on my desk. So when I'm hungry and I don't want to get up. That's the only option I have.

Scott Benner 35:23
Other carbs and peanuts, there's not right, just fat. Is that fat joke? No, it's a question about if you could, you turn those around and tell me if there's a carb count in that, that's a joke. In 35

Unknown Speaker 35:37
pieces, there's five carbs.

Scott Benner 35:39
Oh my gosh. To me, that that means, no, yeah. Does that mean to me? I'm not bolusing for that. So let's move on to the next topic. Do you think it like, Is it touching your blood sugar that I literally don't care what else they're high in calories due to their fat content, portion control is key if you're trying to manage your weight. A typical serving size is about one ounce, and that is 28 grams. Did you know that their heart their heart healthy, niacin, magnesium, antioxidants, and regular consumption of peanuts has been associated with the reduced risk of heart disease,

Arden Benner 36:21
yeah. So that's why i That's why I take them.

Scott Benner 36:26
Are you sure? But so how did that happen? You're just like, have a hankering for a peanut one day, and then the next thing, you know, you just bought a big jug of them.

Arden Benner 36:34
No, I was just sitting here, you know, like when you're hungry, and you're like, I'm hungry, but I don't want to feel fat when I eat,

Scott Benner 36:40
so I picked them those up. Nice to get them at the target.

Unknown Speaker 36:45
Yeah, nice. Actually, they have a package

Scott Benner 36:48
in the mail waiting for me. Yes, you you ordered snacks through Amazon. Do you want to know what they are? They're popcorn, Indiana movie theater, butter. Oh, so good. I've been waiting for that Nissan top ramen bowl noodles. Yes, that's what's down there waiting for you right now. It looks like you're waiting on, oh, also you have arriving today, Nature Valley, s'mores, Chewy, dipped granola bars. That's good because

Arden Benner 37:17
my other granola bars are running out. I need them for my morning classes, so I leave before the dining halls open.

Scott Benner 37:23
Also, it looks like Keebler fudge stripe cookies minis have arrived. Oh, my

Unknown Speaker 37:29
God,

Scott Benner 37:33
you got on the fudge stripe bandwagon when we were on vacation. Oh, no, those were the other Keebler cookies. Yeah, but they don't sell them on Amazon. You can't get those. Which ones? What are they called? El fudge. El fudge. Can't get el fudge on Amazon. What a bummer.

Unknown Speaker 37:51
Don't worry, I checked, tried

Scott Benner 37:53
all the spellings, did you because I just found on Amazon right now. No, you didn't. I did el fudge while they're insanely overpriced, but they're here. If you buy them on Amazon, I'll be upset. They're like, it's a shakedown price. Maybe

Arden Benner 38:08
that's why I couldn't find them. Maybe the the internet was like, definitely don't this is

Scott Benner 38:13
a no. This is from the Keebler store. Two packages of El fudge, double stuffed sandwich cookies. So 12 to 12 ounce packages. How much? Guess $24.16, I would never I mean, isn't that like, I think $4

Arden Benner 38:33
I don't think so. Or, like, seven bucks, I

Scott Benner 38:35
think, Wait, what's happening? Are you sure? Here's one? El fudge originals, 15 ounce packages, six packages, six packages of them, $45 who's eating all those cookies? Me,

Unknown Speaker 38:54
why do you love the yellow percent? Me, why

Scott Benner 38:56
do you love the El fudge? So much. So good.

Unknown Speaker 39:00
It's so good.

Scott Benner 39:01
It has one review. It says yummy.

Unknown Speaker 39:05
Correct. That's all it needs.

Scott Benner 39:09
Oh my gosh. So how do you think this one? This is our first time ever recording

Unknown Speaker 39:13
remotely like this. I don't know. Do you hear my AC again?

Scott Benner 39:16
I don't you're a little far from the microphone, though you're killing me with that. Hello. Thank you. This was nice, man, I got to see you. I don't you should get to see you like this, well lit.

Unknown Speaker 39:26
I literally call you all the

Scott Benner 39:28
time, I know, but the FaceTime doesn't feel as clean as this does. I think you look like you're in a more stable image when you're sitting here. Are you alright? What's going on you uncomfortable? Is your is your lady time coming? No, but it won't come. It won't arrive. And I have shin splints. You've shin splints from walking around campus. Had

Arden Benner 39:51
it so bad. But I'm not like, I'm not on athletics, just like everyone gets them walking up these hills. You

Scott Benner 39:58
say that people are going to figure out. We are. No, they're not. If I get an email, it says, I know where your daughter is, because she said she had to walk up a hill. I'm going to be stunned, but it could happen. All right, well, I think this is good. So we have three of these recorded already. This is our fourth one. We're going to record every week. We are going to go through our list though. All right, our I don't understand list, oh yes, because we love our list, expansive foam, processed food. How stocks work. Are laughter and yawning contagious? You don't think we should do two party political system? The election's coming up.

Arden Benner 40:40
How to crickets? Anything I just said I was sleepy.

Scott Benner 40:43
Booming. Why? No, we got to get you when you're not sleeping. Is there a better time that we could get this set up when you wouldn't be asleeping? Being serious, we did it at three o'clock. Should we have done it at a different time? I don't know, but here's the thing, unrelated, I'm gonna

Arden Benner 40:58
get my eyebrows on when I come home this weekend. I'm so excited. I

Scott Benner 41:01
can't believe you're actually coming home just for a birthday party. Well, it's also

Arden Benner 41:05
the last time. This is what I was trying to tell you before you hung up on me. San on Friday night, Sanj will still be home, and then I'm gonna grab Nadia on the way home, and then Liv will be home, and it's the last time that all of us can see each other before Christmas. Okay.

Scott Benner 41:20
Well, that's a nice that's why. Yeah, so you come home, you got you guys can all see each other, and then, because

Arden Benner 41:24
the last time I saw Liv, or the last time all of us were together, was like a week before we left for vacation,

Scott Benner 41:34
yeah, okay, so you're gonna make the drive so everybody can can get together one more time. Yeah, nice. All right, I think we've done good here. Thank you very you very much. You feel good. Is there anything you want to finish with? Anything you need to add? Does anyone on here

Arden Benner 41:50
understand computer programming? If so, please contact me. I will give you my information. You're

Scott Benner 41:55
looking for someone who understands JavaScript. I'm looking

Arden Benner 42:00
for someone who wants to make a

Scott Benner 42:04
couple bucks a day doing your computer programming homework,

Arden Benner 42:07
yeah, it has absolutely nothing to do with what I want to do with my life, and I just, I need someone to get me out of this. Thank you. I

Scott Benner 42:14
still don't understand why you got put in it.

Unknown Speaker 42:15
I don't have to take a class like that. Apparently,

Scott Benner 42:18
I think you're gonna figure it out.

Arden Benner 42:19
I'm very confused, because it says that we have a recitation in a lab, but I'm only signed up for a recitation. So am I supposed to be signed

Scott Benner 42:29
up for another class? You should find out. So you might not. I won't be doing that. You won't be finding out. I tried to get your parking permit fixed today. I pinged the guy again, just so you know, all right. And he said a lot. He said, he said, Nope, not today. Said, Hi, Scott, I forwarded your message to my senior manager to see if this is possible. Please note, we're still extremely busy with arriving students, he'll reach out to you shortly. So fingers crossed, maybe it'll maybe they'll have a spot.

Arden Benner 43:05
I put up the funniest post today on my private story on Snapchat, but no one laughed about it. Do you want

Scott Benner 43:10
to tell people what you did when you tried to put up a private post and made it public?

Arden Benner 43:16
No, but today on Snapchat, I had an airhead, and the flavor that I picked out, it was, it's called White mystery. And I put it up, and I said my stripper name, and no one laughed at it.

Scott Benner 43:29
No one thought that was funny. Absolutely no one, oh, that's your friends, yeah, and they didn't comment. Maybe they're busy. They're not they're not busy. You so can I? I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell your story. Arden, so you tried to send a private Tiktok? No,

Arden Benner 43:47
I didn't try to do private anything. I just never gotten a single view on anything I've ever posted online in my entire life. And all of a sudden, 98,200

Scott Benner 43:58
views so far. Yeah, Courtney,

Arden Benner 44:01
how about the do you see the comment I sent you today,

Scott Benner 44:04
yes, from the person who was hooked on Yeah, that was

Arden Benner 44:08
me. That was me just trying to eat breakfast. After a philosophy class, I

Scott Benner 44:14
opened my phone, and that's there you shared with that person, and they were sharing back with you, yeah?

Arden Benner 44:18
Just, I don't really know what they want me to do with that information, but I

Scott Benner 44:22
don't awesome. Arden's just like, it's hard to like, I'm older now and I'm a transfer student, so it's like, harder like, am I supposed to, like, be friendly with people who are much younger than me? And it just it blew up. Like, she's got like, 100,000 views on it. But what was the Can I read the message that you got from the person. Go right ahead. It says, Hold on. Picture the bear. There's a bear in our neighborhood. I'm 22 going back to school after abusing fentanyl and going to prison.

Arden Benner 44:58
No, she said something before that, too. To like, make

Scott Benner 45:00
me feel worse. Oh, so it's pretty hard to relate. Yeah, someone's like, okay, all right, artists just like, am I supposed to make friends with younger people? So it's pretty hard to relate. I'm

Arden Benner 45:14
Oh, I see everyone in the comments is absolutely sht all over me. I don't know what I've done to make them upset, but it is insanity. Do you think

Scott Benner 45:23
it's possible that 18 year olds feel that you're judging them? Apparently,

Arden Benner 45:27
also, I was in my psych class today, and it's mostly freshmen, and she said something like, So where were you guys? 2020, when covid happened? And you know what? They all went eighth grade. And I was like, Uh oh. What I looked at? Sitting next to me. I was like, You're in eighth grade. And she was like, yeah. I was like, oh my god,

Scott Benner 45:50
i By the way, I wish this person luck. Sounds like they've kicked the offense and all and and they're back out. Like, among the, among those of us who are not incarcerated, I think good for them. I think maybe they can, you know, make a difference for themselves this time. I don't know why they're telling a stranger on Tiktok, but yeah, well,

Arden Benner 46:08
they seem mad at me that I didn't have a fentanyl problem. So I was like, All right, it's interesting that you've taken care of it, but

Scott Benner 46:16
so this is interesting. We'll end on this. People speaking of judging. I do think people slot their experiences just like we've been talking about it, and you see it a lot in diabetes, people will say, like, I don't want to hear you complain about this, because I have that right. So ridiculous and stupid always like, my things worse than your thing. Also,

Arden Benner 46:37
I wasn't complaining at all. No, I

Scott Benner 46:40
didn't think you are. I was just like, oh, like, Is it weird as

Arden Benner 46:45
a, like, a adult, because your mindset is completely different when you're, like, newly 18 entering college, versus been in college for like, three years, yeah, no, I know. And I'm like, what these is? This is who I'm surrounded by. Like, is this odd? Like, what should I be doing? And everyone's like, I had a fentanyl problem. You'll be okay. And I'm like, Okay.

Scott Benner 47:06
Well, even when you see people do the like, you know, you think they're babies. You're a baby. I'm 24

Unknown Speaker 47:15
and I saw like, Oh my God, I don't care, but,

Scott Benner 47:17
but first of all, you weren't saying they were like, you weren't. You were just saying, like, we have differences now. But that's my point. Is that everybody comes in, makes an assessment, slots it in a line, and then decides, are you being like? They use how they feel to decide what you're saying. I

Arden Benner 47:32
love the people who are like. The fact that you have to ask this question shows your maturity level and your social skills, and I'm like, what

Scott Benner 47:41
I 100% have made

Arden Benner 47:43
friends with some of these people. I'm completely capable of doing it. I'm asking you, is this a little weird? Because it feels a

Scott Benner 47:50
little weird because they're so much younger, they feel a lot younger than you Yeah, they're

Arden Benner 47:54
like, you know, experiencing going to parties and this and that, and like, living on their own for the first time, and I'm just like, oh God, all right. I was talking to my friends, and I was like, guys, I don't think I can, like, go out past 8pm anymore, and every single one of them was like, I know, because the

Scott Benner 48:14
kids are crazy, the younger ones are crazy, and you feel old, or you just

Arden Benner 48:18
feel them being crazy. I just feel I'm just like, my like, I'm so tired by that point, I'm like, in the dining hall grabbing food and getting ready

Scott Benner 48:27
for bed, getting ready for bed, and they're like, 10 hours from now I'm gonna go out. Yeah, I'm like, Oh my God. All right, so here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna say goodbye, and then I have one more thing to ask you that's private that we don't want these people to hear. So hold on. You want to say goodbye? I don't

Arden Benner 48:46
understand the point of saying goodbye, if they'll see me again in the next episode.

Scott Benner 48:49
All right, then we won't say it.

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