#1335 Five D’s of Dodgeball

Nicole is anxious and very overwhelmed by diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again friends for the next episode of The juicebox podcast.

Nicole is the mother of a 13 year old type one, and she feels anxious and bad about diabetes. Nicole is overwhelmed, and I'm going to talk to her today about it. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation, but please give the private Facebook group for the juicebox podcast, a healthy once over juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com. When you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juice, box. Don't forget, if you're a US resident who has type one or is the caregiver of someone with type one, visit T, 1d exchange.org/juicebox right now and complete that survey. Us. Med is sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast, and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from us med for years. You can as well usmed.com/juice box, or call 888-721-1514, use the link or the number get your free benefits. Check and get started today with us med. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, gvoke hypopen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon.com, forward slash juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's dressing hyperglycemia head on, a topic that often gets overshadowed by the focus on hypoglycemia. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper.

Nicole 2:22
I'm Nicole. I'm 36 and I have three daughters, two of them are from my current marriage, my younger two, and then my oldest daughter is from my first marriage, and she's my type one, so I am her primary care provider. And she's 13. She was diagnosed almost two years ago, exactly so at 11. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:46
the other two girls are no autoimmune at all.

Speaker 1 2:51
Not that I'm aware of their dad, my current husband, has ankylosing spondylitis, and that goes through the males in his family. I know he's got at least two cousins that have that, but they're male, so we're hoping we're in the clear for that.

Scott Benner 3:09
Nicole, do you have like a tattoo on your belly that says, now accepting autoimmune suitors?

Unknown Speaker 3:14
No,

Scott Benner 3:16
did your ex have anything his

Speaker 1 3:19
I think his grandpa had neuropathy later in life, but really, I don't know that that there was anything in that family. The type one definitely comes from my family, and we can get into that as deep as you want to get, but Well, tell me now. Well, it's four generations deep, and I don't want to be deceiving, because I don't know that's like, it's not a direct four generation thing. My grandma had type one, right? I have aunts that are type one, have cousins that are type one, and then my daughter, she's the first great grandchild in this line to get it.

Scott Benner 3:59
And do you know? Do you have any autoimmune

Speaker 1 4:01
I don't not. I don't know of anything. I did try on that on myself, just because I wanted to know if I had I don't know. I don't have anything. Okay, no, nothing.

Scott Benner 4:14
Well, it's interesting that you're like, I don't know what the connection is here, that you're steeped in D over there, like the diabetes is every which way it is. Yeah, no kidding. Gosh, well, I wouldn't be surprised by it. I'm interested though, to see, I'm sorry that I'm speaking about your life like it's a science experiment, but I'm interested to see if the other two girls have any kind of implications. Are they younger right now,

Speaker 1 4:40
me too, and it is on my mind constantly. Yeah, I actually just tested the blood sugar of my youngest daughter two days ago because she was acting funny. And so I am definitely the type of person that is going to do try on that, because I gotta know or else I'll just lose my mind. Yeah? But. Yes, the youngest is four, the other one's eight. I'm just waiting for a good time to do it. I did the at home test on myself, and it was, it was kind of hard to get that much blood out of myself, and so I don't want it to be too dramatic, traumatic for them, but I think in the next year, working with the pediatrician or calling in a blood draw, I'm going to get them tested, because I really, I want to know,

Scott Benner 5:25
yeah, when you get the at home kits, listen, I'm all for testing. I think it's, I think it's a good thing to do. But when you get the at home kits, and the phrase milking is involved, when it's talking about getting blood out of your finger, you're like, Oh, what am I getting involved in here? So I would go to a lab and get a ton if it was, yeah,

Speaker 1 5:45
I think that's, that's where I'm gonna go. It's just scheduling it and getting it all lined up. And I understand, not not fun, but I need to get it done for my sanity.

Scott Benner 5:55
Oh, we'll go back. I was just gonna say, let's go back to your sanity. What do you mean? You think about it all of the time.

Speaker 1 6:01
Well, I don't want to get emotional, and I knew I was going to, because I do this has taken over my life. And I think there's a lot of people that listen to your show that feel the same way,

Scott Benner 6:13
sorry. No, don't be sorry. Just You're gonna make me cry, which is fine, but just, well, if I get quiet, then I'm wiping tears away, but, but what do you mean? It's taken over your life.

Speaker 1 6:24
So I'm her primary care person. She's 13, so she's taken over some of it on on her own. She has a different dad, so she's she's in her household most of the time. Occasionally, she'll go over to his house, and the management over there is very different, and not in a great way. My husband, he's supportive, but he was never really trained to take care of her, because with the diagnosis, they just limited how many people could could do it. So he's pretty hands off, too in the home. So I just feel kind of alone, if you will. In this I have a support system, but when it comes to the nitty gritty of dosing and watching, even just monitoring, it's heavy. It's a lot. So when I say it's taken over my life, I think it's just because I'm the person that's been available to take care of her. Yeah? So it's, it's all on me, yeah?

Scott Benner 7:24
Nicole, I got sick last night. Out of nowhere, people who listen, no, I don't get sick often, but when I do, it hits me fast. And I was actually on the phone last night with Isabel, talking about the possibility of a juice box cruise, which I think is a thing that's actually gonna happen.

Speaker 1 7:41
Stop. I saw it on Facebook. And I don't get on Facebook very often, and I'm so hoping that I can go, oh,

Scott Benner 7:49
I actually think, like, Listen, I'm hoping I can figure it out, but I actually think it's gonna happen. And anyway, between you and I don't go out in the world and say this yet, because I'm still trying to figure it all out. But I mean, I put up a Facebook post that got 500 responses, so I figured, I mean, a lot of them won't end up doing it, but geez, what if a portion of them did? That'd be pretty great. You know,

Unknown Speaker 8:09
it would be amazing.

Scott Benner 8:10
I'm working with a coordinator right now to try to figure out a time in June of 2025, when that'll happen. I guess I should say this, I have not planned for this, but because you and I are talking about it, and this will go into the podcast eventually. If you go to juicebox podcast.com/juice, cruise, and there's actually a website there, you can come with us, but at the moment, that website doesn't exist, but it will by the time this comes out, I guess, well, I'll

Speaker 1 8:39
be watching because I love cruises, and that would be so great for me and my daughter,

Scott Benner 8:45
just to, like, meet other people, right, and to chill out a little bit, yes, yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 8:49
And just really, that's why I love your show so much, and kind of why I wanted to come on is, just like I said, I have a support crew, but just not really to do much, if you know what I mean. And the people that listen to this show understand that, because there's a way to manage your diabetes and be a caregiver, or there's a way just to live like and that's kind of how it is at her dad's house, is he doesn't die. But that's that's different. I do. I call it the juice box way, I'm going to ask you to manage her the juice box. Way, yeah, give

Scott Benner 9:29
me a second. I'm going to say something. I'll ask you about that. And now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion, Terry.

Speaker 2 9:36
How long have you had diabetes? June 2025 it'll be 50 years. I'm very much involved in the diabetic community in a lot of areas, and I helped start the walk here in Lincoln Nebraska, when you were first diagnosed, what was management like? I started out on beef pork insulin, and I tell people jokingly that I used to smell like a bacon cheese. Burger tell me about the impact of Medtronic technology. Finger stick is only a point in time, and that first 20 years for me was extremely difficult because I had high blood sugars all over the place. The CGM, to me, was the lifesaver.

Scott Benner 10:17
Prolonged hyperglycemia can lead to serious health problems and long term complications. Early, inconsistent management of hyperglycemia is critical. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper so I said I was I got sick last night because it overwhelmed me. I was on the phone with Isabelle, and I was like, I gotta get off the phone. I'm dizzy. I felt bad even the way I said it. I'm like, I gotta go, like, and I got off the phone, and I went and sat down next to my wife, and I was like, Are my hands shaking? And she's like, Yeah. And I was like, I said, I don't feel right. I'm like, I was just, I was outside talking to her, like I was cleaning up and doing things. And I said, I took a step forward outside, and I went backwards, and I was like, and my head's swimming, and my hands are shaking, and I'm really hungry. This feels like what people discuss when they say their blood sugar's low, but I mean, I ate something today no differently than the other day. I'm like, That would be weird, but I sat down and basically took like, a fistful of crackers, I over salted them, and I ate because I was like, I felt like I needed salt. I took in a bunch of salt and like and these crackers, and I felt a little better, and then my stomach kind of turned over, and I was like, man, what is happening? But anyway, I'm still a little woozy this morning, like my head's a little floaty, and you said, I'm alone, and I I almost started to cry. So I think it's because I don't feel well. You have me at an advantage today, Nicole, you're gonna, like, this is basically like two ladies who are getting ready to have their period talking and because I'm like, I'm very unstable today. And I don't mean to say women are unstable. Oh my God, here come the Euro misogynist reviews. But you know what I mean? I feel overwhelmed with this at the moment. Okay,

Speaker 1 11:59
I'm unstable. There's no doubt about that. There you go, Nicole,

Scott Benner 12:03
thank you for sticking up with me, for me, with the woke ladies who are gonna yell at me later. And by the way, I don't mind woke it's cool, but like, you don't have to leave a review every time you don't like something. I say it's a

Unknown Speaker 12:17
Yeah.

Scott Benner 12:20
Cruise by. Go, yo. You know what? You might be kidding. I'm a little woozy today, so I'm gonna ask you these questions, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna cry while we're doing it. So just be

Speaker 1 12:28
clear. That means I'm gonna cry too, because I cry when other people cry perfect for no reason. Go for it. Let's What do we got here?

Scott Benner 12:37
We're a worse match than you and your first husband. All right. So good one. Thank you. Because, by the way, the thing you've said so far, that's the funniest, is you called your husband now your current husband, which, in my mind, makes it feel like you're not 100% sure if he's going to be your last husband. Well,

Speaker 1 12:54
I didn't want to say I wanted to definitely differentiate that I've been married twice and that I have three kids from two different guys. But I didn't want to jump in and make you think that I've been married and divorced twice. I have three kids from two different guys. I'm married, I'm happy. I just didn't know how to describe it.

Scott Benner 13:14
No, no, you were absolutely fine. I'm just being silly. Okay, you have a way you're managing your daughter and what are the outcomes like, and how long have you been doing it?

Speaker 1 13:23
So far, we're doing okay. The last six to eight months have been a little rough, which he was diagnosed her ANC was 11.7 and we've gone from five, nine to six, four to five, nine to six, six, and in February it was seven, eight. And I know exactly why she's growing. And some it's crazy. I think, like six, like I said, six to eight months ago, she suddenly needed so much insulin, I was just baffled. We've tripled the insulin use from that. Like, I don't know what's going on with her body. So with that, it's also been kind of sporadic. And so that's kind of where we're at. I know she's doing a little bit better now, and also she she started middle school in the fall, and so with that, she's kind of taken the reins a little bit more as far as figuring out what to dose and which is good, because I like I say I'm losing it. I need more help, and so that means I need her to step up a little bit. So she's been doing pretty good, but just navigating a lot of the changes, and like the insulin use at first was freaking me out. You say, meet meet the need. And so we finally met the need, but you know, I didn't feel comfortable increasing it too quickly, and so I'm hoping. Next appointment, it's, I know it's definitely going to be lower. I hope we we're below seven again.

Scott Benner 15:05
So am I right to say, well, first, let me ask one question, was there a honeymoon period that, looking back, you can see, I

Speaker 1 15:12
don't think so. But again, I don't know, because from what I understand, honeymoon is, is at some point you don't need any insulin. Is that correct? I

Scott Benner 15:20
mean, not necessarily, but it would be, and probably not in most cases. Just like honeymoon would be, you're using a certain amount of insulin, then the next day you notice, geez, my body must be helping, because that was way too much insulin. And then that goes on for a little bit, or it does, and it goes back and forth. It's kind of like, how do I say this? Like if you were driving your car and you were using the accelerator to move the car forward, but every once in a while, an unseen force in front of you started pulling you ahead faster, and you were, like, still pushing on the accelerator. He's like, Oh, now we're going way too fast, because the thing's pulling me and I'm accelerating. So you're bolusing and your pancreas is using, yeah,

Speaker 1 16:00
I get that. You know, it was pretty I don't think so, because

Scott Benner 16:04
you've probably heard me talk about us Med and how simple it is to reorder with us Med, using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you, but I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email because I don't trust myself 100% so one time I didn't respond to the email and the phone rings the house. It's like, ring. You know how it works? And I picked it up. I was like, hello, and it was just the recording was like, US med doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying? It said, Hey, you're I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, Hey, your order's ready. You want us to send it. Push this button if you want us to send it, or if you'd like to wait. I think it lets you put it off, like a couple of weeks, or push this button for that. That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get your free benefits checked now and get started with us, med, Dexcom, OmniPod, tandem, freestyle, they've got all your favorites, even that new islet pump. Check them out now at usmed.com/juice, box, or by calling 888-721-1514, there are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at juicebox podcast.com to us Med and all the sponsors. If you take insulin or sofanylurias, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G Vogue hypopen. My daughter carries gevok hypopen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo hypopin can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store GEVO kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in ardent diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, dot com, slash, juicebox gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke. Glucagon.com/risk, for safety information.

Speaker 1 18:40
It was pretty consistent for the first while. Now, the last month or two, she's had a couple days where we're on this higher, you know, insulin profile, and there'll be a day where she just is low constantly. So no, I don't think that's honeymoon. It's just, it's just weird.

Scott Benner 19:01
So no honeymoon, as far as you can tell. So you're you're working in the beginning, and you're taking care of all the bolusing and everything. And she's also younger, so I would imagine, when she was diagnosed at 11, no period yet, right?

Speaker 1 19:14
Yeah, and still no okay, so that could be part of this whole thing too, yeah.

Scott Benner 19:19
So she's been growing the last couple of years, so you've seen that. And then with the fluctuation A, 1c like, I'm doing the I'm doing the same thing. It's five eight. I'm doing the same thing. It's six four. So there's other needs somewhere that maybe your settings or your your style aren't covering. And now probably, if I had to guess, like, you're gonna see menstruation come at some point here, and maybe then you're gonna, I mean, then it's gonna turn into a different game too. It's gonna probably be, she's almost gonna be like, she's two or three different people every month as far as her insulin needs go. I can't wait, super fun for you. You'll be dead by then. He's just run out into traffic and yell, I give up. I. How old are you again? Tell me 36

Unknown Speaker 20:03
I'm 36 Yeah, okay. How

Scott Benner 20:05
old were you when you got married the first time? Were you young I

Speaker 1 20:08
was, and that was, I mean, looking back, that was the problem. But I was 20 when I married him, but I dated him when I was in high school, so I really didn't date anybody else from the time I was 17 through that. So I was young. Yes,

Scott Benner 20:24
you live in the middle of a field. Why'd you get married when you were 20? Were you pregnant?

Speaker 1 20:28
Well, let me tell you, because I no, I wasn't pregnant. I guess I liked being in a relationship. But my mom, I love her to death, she got married when she was 17 years old. She graduated high school and got married to my dad. They're still married. So as I was dating him, my first husband, I didn't have anybody saying, I think you should date other people. Larry, you know, you're so young, my mom had lived it, and so she was kind of cheering on the relationship. And so I think a lot of that played into it. And if she listens to this, I don't want her to feel like it's her fault by any means, but me, I look at what I've been through, and if my kids did that, I wouldn't be dying, because I'm just I don't know, I wouldn't be cheering them on for your mom, that

Scott Benner 21:21
was the family. Business. Like, that's how we do it, right? Yeah, look, I already and, yeah, it's good, right?

Speaker 1 21:28
And I don't want to go too much into this, because, sure, well, let me just say that I live in Utah, and people around here are Mormon, and you don't have sex till you get married, or at least you're not supposed to. And so I think a lot of that, too came into play. Of we were in this relationship. I had dated this guy for so long, and my mom just was like, Well, why don't you just get married? There's no difference, because at the time, we were living together. And so I think that played into it also.

Scott Benner 21:58
Are you Mormon? Are you just saying that? It kind of rubs off, because it's the attitude. Well,

Speaker 1 22:02
I grew up that way. I'm no longer, but I with our family. I think that was part of it too. Is interesting. How to explain it? No,

Scott Benner 22:13
you explained it. You actually did. Don't worry, there's no more. I was at the point where you were stretching for words, and I thought, she can stop talking about this. I got it so perfect. Was Was he in the church? The first husband? Uh, kind

Speaker 1 22:27
of soon he's grew up in it. But, I mean, I was, I started being inactive when I was about 1415, my parents also about the same time, quit going also. So yeah. I mean, everyone around here is familiar with it. It's hard to explain. No, it's

Scott Benner 22:43
not. I've heard other people talk about it also. I'm huge. I want to say this, and I say this with a lot of I'm endeared by it. I'm huge in the Mormon community. My podcast,

Unknown Speaker 22:52
I've heard you say that, and I think it's true.

Scott Benner 22:55
Well, I didn't make it up. I think I just was like, Hey, here's here's a flex I'm gonna make my podcast is huge with a warm with Mormons. I mean, we've gone through it a couple of times with different people who are in the church, and I think they just, they're very they're very open and sharing what's working for them with each other. And I think it kind of it just super friendly people

Speaker 1 23:20
care about other people, even if they don't know. I'm, I mean, it's, it's a really great place to live,

Scott Benner 23:25
yeah, all right, so why did I ask you that? Holy crap. Oh, because I wanted to know how young you were when you started forming that relationship. Because I'm wondering if your emotional response right now is rooted back there. So did you have, like, your first big trauma in your 1718, 1920, age, and are you maybe stuck there a little bit, like, because this sucks, but you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be this run over by it. Like, you know what I mean by that? I'm sure you feel that too, right? Like you feel like you should have a different handle on this.

Speaker 1 23:59
Yeah, there wasn't really any trauma. I just feel like with diagnosis, he was there the whole time, and he comes to all of her appointments. He just, it just doesn't seem like he cares. And I hope he listens to this. I've been begging him to start listening to this podcast, because it would do wonders for her to have him on board. But, and I don't want to badmouth him by any means, we get along fine. It's just when I say things aren't great over there, we're talking three, 400 plus range,

Scott Benner 24:36
and when you say he doesn't care. Do you really think he doesn't care? Like no,

Speaker 1 24:40
but I think it is it. I know it's heavy and it's hard, and I think a lot of times situations like that, he just kind of ignores the problem because it's easier just to pretend it's not happening. And and I feel honest in saying that, because when she's low, nobody wakes up a. Over there to help her. I am the one calling from my house to wake her up to make sure she's okay. It's just really frustrating. So I just I'm so involved in her life and her care, it's hard for me to see her own father not even show like he's trying. I don't know, is

Scott Benner 25:19
it more that, or is it more that you feel helpless when she's with him?

Speaker 1 25:24
Oh, because she is taking some of this on her own, but she's still too young. She's really reliant on me, yeah, and I've been trying to, you know, give her a little more here and there. I mean, still she she can put her on her own Dexcom, but she doesn't, and her pump site, she doesn't do her own and for a lot of people, that's really weird, because most of the time, once you're, you know, a teenager, it's like, I don't want my mom to have to do everything for me, but she kind of does.

Scott Benner 25:57
Yeah, Arden does her own stuff, obviously now, and has for a number of years, but we did it together for a long time. It wasn't, it wasn't strange here. I also was a stay at home dad her whole life, so I don't know that it was as weird for her to like, you know, pull her pants down and, like, be standing there in her underwear or something like that, like, while I put something on her hip or something back back then she she was never in the least bit uncomfortable about it. I also, can I stick up for men for a second? Go for it. Yes. Part of that thing that makes us look like we don't care about things that head down, go forward attitude. It's very valuable in other parts of life. I just want to say, well,

Speaker 1 26:36
let me Yeah, I agree totally, because that's how my husband is right. He's great, and he works hard and he provides, and he does some so many things, but he doesn't really help manage the diabetes, and a lot of it is because my daughter that's not really how their relationship is. My daughter doesn't want to go to him to say, hey, stepdad, will you put this pump site on my butt, you know? Like, yeah, sure, he's their connections different, and so I totally get what you're saying, because he's very much put your head down and grind, and he does so much for us. So I don't want to, like, say that he's verbal by any means. I'll

Scott Benner 27:16
put I'll shine it on me for a second, right? Like, I think if you listen to this podcast, you would think of me as a fairly connected, emotionally mature man, right? Yeah, okay, fair statement. My wife doesn't think of me that way. She thinks I'm an idiot that puts my head down and goes forward and I don't pay attention to a goddamn thing. I just go, go, go, go, go. And I'm like, oh, we'll just knock it over, kill it, or go around it. That's the pressure that comes, I don't know, innately, maybe even with being a man like I feel like this is all on me, which is ridiculous, because my wife makes a decent living, and we are a 5050, you know, split here, as far as you know, responsibilities and all that stuff. But I still, if you, if you got me into a quiet room and asked me to answer and said, Who's this on? I'd tell you, it's on me. And the way, and the way that manifests through me is by not giving up, killing what's in front of me, winning, like that whole thing. Now, if you went and found my wife and said, Hey, who's this on? She'd be like, listen, it's all on me. That guy's a idiot, okay? And so, like, like, if I fall apart, we're dead. I don't know what he could accomplish on his own. And so she'll think that, but her response is different. She feels it is stress, right? And she feels it as pressure, and she feels it as a responsibility, and I know all that, but it's not how I feel it. I feel it like a challenge.

Unknown Speaker 28:47
Okay, you know,

Scott Benner 28:49
okay, right? And now I've had a ton of these conversations where ex husbands don't do a good job managing their kids diabetes. And I always think that if you contextualize guys a little bit, I'm generalizing, obviously, but unless you get those more connected men, I guess, or, god, I'm trying not to say this in an insulting way, because I don't think of it as an insulting way. But how would they have said it 10 years ago? More metasexual, like, like, a little more blended, like, you know, with your feelings and things like that. Like, if you've got one of those guys, you'll probably be all right, but they're still guys, and they still think, I don't know what I'm doing. I can't learn this, and I'm gonna screw it up, and if I screw it up, I'm gonna hurt her, and maybe better, I keep my hands off of that. Now, that's not everybody, but I think that's a fairly common response from men, and then you put the divorce in there, and it gets a little worse, even, you know what I mean, because, like, I don't want to mess it up, because she'll yell at me, like, like and like, that kind of feeling like, you know, yeah, Nicole, I'm not saying anything that's crazy. Yeah, right, yeah. Having said that, I he should buck up and. It like, like, I think

Speaker 1 30:01
so. I mean, if you don't wake up to your alarms, I know that's a problem for a lot of people, but I just ordered one of those sugar Pixel THINGs and set it up in our kitchen to test it out. And that thing is so annoying and so loud, he ought to get one of those so he can wake up in the night when she's at his house and help her, so I don't have to be the one doing it. You know what I mean,

Scott Benner 30:24
did you happen to buy that sugar pixel with my link?

Speaker 1 30:28
I'm sure I did, because very much, a few weeks ago, I was, I was bitten to my husband, like, the same thing, I need help. This is so annoying and so hard and like, I don't sleep, none of my sleep. So I he's like, there's got to be something. And in my head, I think, oh, you know there might be. So I hopped on the next day and I just ordered it, thinking I'm desperate. I got to get something, yeah, but maybe, maybe I'll give it to

Scott Benner 30:54
him. Well, you know what for? What is it? $99

Unknown Speaker 30:58
yeah,

Scott Benner 30:59
maybe it's maybe, would he use it, or would he see it as the thing is, I don't know, yeah, see it as an insult, or is he not that he seems like a decent guy from your explanation,

Speaker 1 31:09
I think he would see it as an insult. But he is a decent guy. I just we're different, and we think different, and I think I don't know this, but I think it bothers him when I'm constantly texting them and telling them what to do and and I really try to stay out of their business when she's over there. Like, I'm not talking if she goes over 150 I'm calling saying, Hey, you got to do something. It's okay. You're over 250 and you've been over 250 for three hours. Like, come on, guys, this isn't good. Or the Dexcom clearly the readings are looking funny, and it's eight, 910, at night, and they still haven't changed it. It's like, okay, guys, it's the two hour warm up. Don't you want to figure this out before you go to bed? Or, you know, those lows. So that's, that's where it is. It's not just little things. Is

Scott Benner 32:06
she not in a position to say to him, Hey, what are we doing here? Or do you think she likes the break?

Speaker 1 32:12
I think both. I think she likes the break because it's definitely more fun over there. They do whatever they want, and they stay up late and they go out to eat, and mean, they do a lot of things that we don't do in my house, we're definitely more structured. But at the same time, her and I are pretty connected, because we do this all day long. Yeah, and I think in the back of her mind she knows, like we got to do something, but there is something there that she doesn't really want to tell her dad what to do or bring it up, or she may be nervous to say something. I definitely see both of those things. Have

Scott Benner 32:54
you tried having this conversation with her to see if she can help move it along? Over there, at

Speaker 1 32:59
first, I would contact your dad when she was over there and say, Hey, this is what you need to do. Now I just text her directly and say, Hey, give yourself a couple units, or I'll tell her or ask her, are you guys planning to change your Dexcom tonight? Or, you know, that's

Scott Benner 33:18
right out of the boy playbook. That was good. That's well done by him. He just ignored you, do you just left him alone about it? Well, now we do that just

Speaker 1 33:26
after so long of nothing happening, and honestly, it's got to the point where he just ignores a lot of the things I say. So I just, I just go to her directly.

Scott Benner 33:38
I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because I once said to a another woman in my life was like, that's a lot of demands from a lady who doesn't have sex with

Speaker 1 33:48
me well, and I, you know, if I put myself in his shoes, honestly, he has a new wife and a stepson, and here's the ex wife always hounding in telling him what to do. I get it? Yeah, it's just, I just wish they'd try a little harder, and I don't know that they know any better. Oh,

Scott Benner 34:07
okay, so that's a good question, like, and by the way, I want to say I'm not discounting that, like he's also hearing from his wife about the things they need to do together, and then suddenly he's probably got pressure to be like, listening to her, and he's only got so many hours in the day. But the thing about not wanting to understand the diabetes, that's the part you're never going to explain to me, because it doesn't take that much to figure out, especially in this situation. And he could easily do it. The three of you could easily be in a chain, a text chain, right? And you wouldn't think it would take many experiences for him to realize what he should be doing. So if you, if you won't take the time to realize it, that's one thing. If he understands it and he won't do it, that's another thing. So which is it, or is it all? I

Speaker 1 34:54
think it's a combination of all of it. He is, like, I don't. Know if you were recording when we said this, but when she goes over there, she doesn't die. She, you know, she's alive, but it's just like, not healthy,

Scott Benner 35:10
right? Yeah, high blood sugar.

Speaker 1 35:13
The doctor taught him that's, that's all he knows. Is, what the doctor taught him is, you dose for carps and, yeah.

Scott Benner 35:19
So in fairness, Nicole, does he think that you're doing some hocus pocus thing from a podcast, and he's following the doctor? I

Speaker 1 35:25
wish I knew. I wish he would just tell me, because I've sent him specific episodes like the tug of war. That's genius. It just makes so much sense. And it's a small, short episode. I'm like, just listen to this, because it, you know, it's the insulin timing or bumping edge, or, you know, just even the fact, like, if he could hear what you've done with Arden and insulin timing, understanding insulin, it's not that hard. I I don't even remember what you asked me.

Scott Benner 36:00
I wondered if there's a world in which he thinks he's doing the right thing and you're doing something crazy you learned on the internet. Oh

Speaker 1 36:06
yeah, it could be. And, like I said, if he would just say that, then that's that's one thing. But I feel like I'm just being ignored. Also,

Scott Benner 36:16
you could come off as and I don't mean this in the way that everyone listening is going to take it, but I feel like I have a good vibe with you, Nicole, so I could say this. I feel like it's possible you come off a little crazy to him. Oh, sure, okay, because I've been in your position, so I know how it can look from the other side. Like I told that story about, like, going into Arden's elementary school before she started kindergarten, like I would in like, six months before she was there to start explaining diabetes to them, and they, 1,000,000% looked at me like I was out of my mind.

Speaker 1 36:49
Okay, let me say this, I am forever grateful that I found your show. But sometimes I wonder, if I didn't find your show, would I be this crazy? Probably not, because seeing the spikes go up and down, I wouldn't know any better finding your show. I know there's a better way, and I know that that way is is honestly not that hard, right? Yeah, I've

Scott Benner 37:12
been making ladies crazy since I was younger, even if you ask Kelly, everything is wrong with her is my fault. So I think there's that I take your point like, you know, you can bury your head and, you know, the nice way to say this is, right, you can stick your head in the sand, and then you just don't know. And that's maybe what he's doing to some degree. I think that's what most people are doing to some degree, because, yeah,

Speaker 1 37:36
and she doesn't go over there often. I mean, we're talking every other weekend, and every once in a while they go to dinner. So it's, it's not a ton, yeah.

Scott Benner 37:45
Like, it's fun to blame me, and I don't mean blame in that way, but you can't tell me that people who have never heard this podcast don't see a 300 blood sugar test for it. See it for three hours in a row, and don't think, Huh, there's got to be a better way to do this. Like, there has to be some degree of blissful, willful ignorance involved at some point, like, not, maybe not on day one or something. But I mean, a couple of years into it, you got to start asking yourself some tough questions. And if you're not asking those questions, are you not asking them on purpose? You know?

Speaker 1 38:16
Yep, I think that's what it is. I really do. I think sometimes, if hard things come up, like I said, it's just easier to turn the other cheek and just not the attention duck

Scott Benner 38:27
dodge, dive and

Speaker 1 38:28
and the crazy ex wife is there to wake her up in the middle of night. So yeah, Dino di I'm always watching Nicole. I'm

Scott Benner 38:38
definitely calling your episode. What does that duck, dodge. What is that from that that movie? Hold on a second. Does

Speaker 1 38:44
everyone ask me, I am my brain is right.

Scott Benner 38:50
What do you do to to relax?

Unknown Speaker 38:52
I don't know. Garden.

Scott Benner 38:54
Hold on a second. It's dodge, duck, dip, dive, and it's from the movie, dodgeball, the 5d

Speaker 1 39:02
Okay, we're gonna have to watch that. All right. I've seen it, but I'm gonna have to watch it.

Scott Benner 39:07
All right. So the five DS, I'm either gonna call your episode the five DS, or I'm gonna call it dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge. That might be it,

Speaker 1 39:14
and I'm the crazy person checking the ball that the ex husband or what? No, that's

Scott Benner 39:18
your husband avoiding diabetes. Your ex husband avoiding diabetes? Oh, okay, okay, yeah, because my other option was crazy ex wife, and I don't think that the ladies would treat me well if I call so I don't want to beat the crazy. You're also not crazy. You're in a you're in a very unique and difficult situation. So going all the way back, yes,

Speaker 1 39:37
it's a unique spot, and I knew that's kind of why I wanted to come on the show is because there's very few people that understand what I'm going through, and those people listen to your show.

Scott Benner 39:47
Oh, for sure, yeah, we're a hell of a group over here. People just inundated. But now, how do we so first of all, you garden to relax. I

Speaker 1 40:00
don't know. I just was trying to think of something because I honestly don't do much for myself. So that is something that I enjoy, but to relax, yeah, I don't know. I like my coffee in the morning. And,

Scott Benner 40:12
no, that's not what we're talking about, Nicole. I'm talking about, like, weed or whacking it or something like that. Like, what are you really doing to, like, lose some stress? You know what? I mean, I

Unknown Speaker 40:19
don't know. That's something I gotta figure out. A

Scott Benner 40:21
lot of that stuff is free, by the way, yeah, well,

Speaker 1 40:28
I also have little kids at home, so maybe once my youngest gets in school and I have a little bit more time to focus on myself, I think I need a hobby. I gotta find something.

Scott Benner 40:39
No Weed. You wouldn't do the weed.

Speaker 1 40:42
I wouldn't say no to it. I mean, it's obviously illegal here and in my community, not really looked upon. Now i i know if i wanted some, I know I could get it right away. I don't know. I don't really want to smoke anything I'd love, like, maybe a gummy or something, but I've never tried that, that that might be my thing, Scott, this is the thing you've considered. I've definitely considered it because I love, like, a glass or two of wine, not necessarily the wine, but how it makes me feel. So that's definitely a chill out for sure.

Scott Benner 41:20
Okay, yeah, no. I mean, listen, no, I'm being funny. But like, there's got to be something that you can put your people are like, do you think you're really being funny? Because I guarantee if my son does this to be like, You're not funny the way you think you are. But I'm just trying to be like, lighthearted and say, like, you gotta find something that just, like, takes it away for a little bit. And I don't want you to turn into like, a, like, a day drinker. So, right,

Speaker 1 41:39
yeah, like, You're preaching to the choir. Like, I know I'm definitely missing something, and it's something I gotta figure out, for sure, the idea

Scott Benner 41:48
of like, I don't not understand the idea of, like, well, when this one gets old, or when this happens, or something like that, but that's the quick way to be in 45 and having like, you know, angina. So like,

Speaker 1 41:59
I know there's a lot of things that I enjoy, but oftentimes, if I do leave, then I'm always thinking about the kids back at home. Like, I love to travel and I love to hike and ski, and I mean, where we live, there's so many great outdoor outdoor activities and and things, but it's just breaking away in my mind, mentally to be like, okay, the kids are okay, like, you can go have fun.

Scott Benner 42:22
The problem is trying to get lost in one of those things. Like, it's not really exactly the thing you're doing, it's the ability to lose yourself in it. Yeah, that's why you go. That's why people go to things where you can't stop, but to lose yourself in it. Like, that kind of an idea, right? So

Speaker 1 42:37
my daughter does play volleyball. My oldest the diabetic, and so I kind of we, we travel all over the place, and that's become a good thing for me, because I do kind of lose myself in it, and I'm there to help her. And is it something I would just do for fun? No, but, I mean, I really do enjoy it, so I think right now that would be one of the things that is it's good for me to escape,

Scott Benner 43:04
is there a way to build a support system around yourself, so much so that you could take a weekend or an overnight, yeah?

Speaker 1 43:11
Oh, yeah. I mean, and we have before I've left, who's

Scott Benner 43:15
who's we you taking your husband with you? I mean, my husband. I meant by yourself. I meant by yourself,

Speaker 1 43:21
all by myself. Yeah, I could, but I don't know if I'd want it. I don't I don't love being by myself. I don't know if I'd want to do something like

Scott Benner 43:28
that, no, but yeah, I equally enjoy being with people and being by myself. Like, I can see the value in both of those things. Like, I like solitude, and I like to be able to, like, disappear into my own head and do things, and I very much like to be around people and talk and I and it's funny, because I have a son and a wife who are not as into chatting, and then Arden, who talks all the time, like, like, more like me. And so like, I don't have as much opportunity. Like, I have three people around me, but two of them are kind of like, Oh, he's talking, you know what? I mean, you know? Then they'll say things like, I don't understand how people listen to your podcast. And I'm like, a lot of people really like it. And I'm like, You guys are obviously not one of them. Like, I said to my wife the other day, like, have you ever heard the podcast? She's like, No,

Unknown Speaker 44:19
that's crazy to me, but

Unknown Speaker 44:23
whatever she's, like, I've heard enough of you

Unknown Speaker 44:27
that's funny,

Scott Benner 44:28
I imagine. But yeah, like she's, I mean, once or twice I've been like, Hey, listen to this. For this like thing she would just not like, I was telling her about something I did with Erica the other day, and I actually said to her, I'm like, I think you'd be proud of me. I think there's a version of me you don't even know that you'd hear if you listen to this episode. And she's like, I am not doing that. That's funny. But anyway, like, I like the idea of you. I mean, if you don't like being alone, Fair's fair, right? But I was counting on the new, not the new. Husband, but your husband to like to take care of the kids so that you could feel truly comfortable and let it go.

Unknown Speaker 45:08
Oh yeah, it could happen. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:10
But why not do that? Then explain to me, Nicole, why that hasn't happened. It's because you've, you've, you have self identified as either crazy or overwhelmed 10 times since we've been talking both, both. So why don't you do something to alleviate that? I

Speaker 1 45:25
think it's just binding, finding what it is that I want, just leaving and being alone. That doesn't sound like any fun of me.

Scott Benner 45:34
Why? What would happen?

Speaker 1 45:35
I think I'd just be bored. Like, I just don't really like being alone,

Scott Benner 45:39
but I'm gonna paint you. I

Unknown Speaker 45:40
like, Okay, go for

Scott Benner 45:41
it. You head off to a little like a hotel, a hotel that has like a walking trail, a little hiking trail to you go, you unpack, you go for a hike, you come back, you take a shower, you go down to the spa. You have a sit in the in the hot and then they give you a little rub, maybe you get your nails done, and you go sit and have a nice dinner. You put your headphones on, you listen to some music while you sit at dinner, or you read something by yourself. You eat slowly, and then you go out again and take a nice nighttime stroll. You go to bed early, and then you wake up in the morning and you take a nice shower, you head out for a breakfast, and then you head back home. Like, how would that not be nice?

Speaker 1 46:24
That would be good. That would be nice. Yeah, do that. Then. Okay, maybe I should try it. Do

Scott Benner 46:29
it. I mean, what the hell do I have to set this up for you? I mean, I'm not, I'm

Unknown Speaker 46:33
not pretty crazy.

Scott Benner 46:35
Your life's pretty what?

Speaker 1 46:37
We're just busy. And I hate to even say that, because everybody's busy, but yeah, I can do that. I could take a night and do that.

Scott Benner 46:44
Do you think you're more busy than I am? I don't know. It's interesting when you think about other people's lives, isn't it like and you wonder, and

Speaker 1 46:53
I hate to complain about diabetes, and I really don't, because I know everybody has their thing. You know, this is just mine.

Scott Benner 47:01
I have a list of things in front of me on my giant whiteboard that I'm considering doing for the podcast. And one of the things I'm considering doing is short episodes where I just let people come on and just bitch for 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 47:14
That would be pretty entertaining. I think you should try a few.

Scott Benner 47:17
Yeah, no, I might. I might. That's one of my that's one of my ideas. I can't tell you the rest of them, because I know you people are listening and you'll rip me off. I actually saw someone rip me off the other day, and I was like, Oh, it's so blatant. And then I went and checked their stats, and nobody listens to the thing. And I was like, Huh. But anyway, that sorry that sounded so how did that sounds small, whatever. Okay, so we could give you, like, a day, like just the like, 24 hours, I think is a big deal. I think it's restorative. And you come home, you're relaxed, you hear some stories about how things went well, you know, you leave absolute direction with the husband and the kids. You go, Look, do not call me if you do not text me nothing, I am going to assume everything is perfect, and if it's not, you better figure it out for yourself, like that thing, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, please have you. Does your husband know where you're at? Yes,

Speaker 1 48:13
very much, because I'm pretty vocal about it, especially when my daughter's gone and and we see these crazy numbers, or he hears the alarms on my phone, and he's like, Oh, is she high or low?

Scott Benner 48:26
Is he helpful? Like, with you and how you feel? Like, is it? Has he said anything useful or valuable, or anything he's

Speaker 1 48:34
he sees he's willing to help. But I just think it takes too much time to be where I'm at. And I look at it this way too. She's 13, almost 14. She's going to be out of the house sooner than later. And so it's like, Well, okay, well, let me just say, if this happened, if she was diagnosed, I don't even know younger, I would be going to the court system and getting something set up to change the divorce decree for the visitation and things just to say, if he can't show that he can manage her diabetes in a help healthy way, she can't go she can't stay overnight, you know, things like that, because of her age. I just, I don't know if it's worth he, he's really busy. He has multiple companies, and what you're always working, and he No my current he, and he's just kind of overwhelmed with working. And he's the provider. He does so much for us. And so to have him, you know, take a step back and to help me. I just, I don't, I don't see it.

Scott Benner 49:46
I mean, I only meant, like, has he ever said to you, Hey, Nicole, maybe you should try this or that, or seriously, like, just an idea. Has he ever just said like, hey, let's play Jenga tonight? Or like, no, no. He just

Speaker 1 49:59
stayed. The obvious, obvious. He just says you should chill out about my ex. He just says he's got, he's got to find a way to figure that out. Or with my daughter, she's got to find a way to wake wake up on her own. And it's like, Duh, like, I get that. I wish

Scott Benner 50:13
find a way to wake up on your own. Yeah? When you're 13, that ain't happening. Okay? So boys now, they're always the problem at some way or another, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, I'm one. I know I'm not that helpful in my own life, and I try really hard to be, but it's taken me decades to figure it out. Like, I really I'm being serious. Like, it's easy for me to philosophize and talk about it, but then, like, putting it into practice is, is always challenging. Would you consider yourself anxious? Oh, yes,

Speaker 1 50:44
that's the other thing is, I should be medicated. I really need to.

Speaker 1 50:54
I have been on and off of prescription for a lot of my life. I am not on it right now. I know it would help, so that's probably step one. I gotta do that again, just

Scott Benner 51:07
for anxiety or for depression, or what are we talking about? Um, I think

Speaker 1 51:11
it's an antidepressant, but it helps with my anxiety. It, I don't know how to it just kind of gives me an extra couple seconds to breathe before I react. I think it would help me clear my my thoughts a little bit. It's hard to explain, but I've been on and off of it for all half of my life.

Scott Benner 51:33
Let me ask you, or is what you're saying? Is that that like that adrenaline doesn't hit you right away, so you don't freak out before you can actually think,

Speaker 1 51:42
yeah, like, I've got a real angry person. Like, I'm probably the opposite, but road rage, there'll be times like, if somebody does something stupid, I'm like, Oh, what an idiot. You know, if I'm on my medicine, I don't, I just don't even think about it.

Scott Benner 51:58
I love complaining in the car. It's one of my favorite things to do. I don't get actually upset, but I love to complain about it. I think we all do. I think we all love pointing out what other people are doing wrong, and the car is the best place to do it because they can't see you or hear you. Yeah, no one knows you're being insane. Like, like, you know, so you're just like, Oh, why would they change lanes right there? Why? Explain to me why, like, just let it go, but you're actually upset when it's over, yeah?

Speaker 1 52:25
Or, like, I revisit it in my mind multiple times, like that was so annoying. They're so dumb. Or I do something dumb. Why do I can't just let it go. Later in

Scott Benner 52:36
the day, you'll be like that. Why did they change lanes like that? Oh yeah. Oh No kidding, oh yeah. Maybe,

Speaker 1 52:43
like, if I do something stupid, then I'm like, Oh man, that was still dumb of me, and I'll revisit it.

Scott Benner 52:48
Beat yourself up. Yeah, I have never thought about anything I've done wrong after. I mean the big stuff, yes, but not, like, not little things. I would never, I would just, I would, oh, my God. I would never treat myself that way, because that's how I would see it. I would see it as treating myself poorly. Also making mistakes is just part of being alive. Like I think of it as as practice or as an experience. I don't think of it as a failure or anything. I mean, I mean if I hit someone in my car and buried their body, I would think of it as a failure. Think of it as a failure, but, like, but like, but if I just did something, or had a weird thought, or, you know, did something, I don't look back on it and and beat myself up, yeah, I wouldn't do that. Yeah. Hmm, interesting. Is that a diagnosed thing through a doctor? No,

Speaker 1 53:41
I'm I do think it's something. I'm just not one to go to the doctor and just spend the time to do stuff like that. I I've heard you talk about ADHD, and could I have it, maybe. But it's like, is it self diagnosed or not? I just think it's just this constant overwhelm, and my brain is just so full of so much stuff, and there's so many moving parts, and it's just, I think being on the medicine would be good for me, just to chill out a little bit. And it doesn't make me like a bump on a log, but, you know, I gotta get back on it.

Scott Benner 54:15
It dulls you a little bit, and you don't like that. That's what I hear people say. You feel dull. Yeah,

Speaker 1 54:20
it can honestly, I just, I, I've been on and off of it. I tried not to be on it when I'd been pregnant. And so

Scott Benner 54:29
who are you getting to give you the prescription?

Speaker 1 54:32
Usually, I get it from my OB, really, yeah, he's the dealer. But I don't, I don't really see another doctor. Like, that's, that's kind of my doctor.

Scott Benner 54:42
I got one doctor. You understand I do. It's the truth. I make sort of hooch is okay, and nothing else I care about now. Like, wait and what is she? What she giving you, like, Zoloft or something like

Unknown Speaker 54:53
that. Um, this is called Beautiful,

Scott Benner 54:57
yeah, Lexapro, cetalopram. I got it. Like, my wife worked on that drug right out of college.

Speaker 1 55:02
My sister's on it, my mom's on it, my dad's on it. Like, oh, there's certainly things in my family. Like, yeah, we're, I need to be on it.

Scott Benner 55:14
You are. Can I say something lovely about you, please? Yeah, you're like, I wish someone would. I'm going to right now, Nicole, you're walking on both sides of that line. Like, usually when I talk to somebody who's really anxious, there's a frenetic value to them that you don't have, like you almost look like a person who's not anxious describing their twin who's anxious. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 55:38
Yeah, in a way, I think I'm just so used to it. It's interesting.

Scott Benner 55:43
It feels like you manage it well without managing it

Speaker 1 55:46
well, that's been my goal, honestly, is I didn't want to be on something forever my whole life. So I have been in therapy, and I have done things. So I have been trying actively to just be off of it and live and try to stay pretty steady. And I think I've, I've done a decent job, but this diagnosis in the last couple years has just thrown me. And it's probably, I probably got to try it again.

Scott Benner 56:15
Your daughter. Have any of this? Is there any concern this is going to land on her?

Speaker 1 56:18
Oh my gosh. She is so anxious. And, yeah, I just don't know. We've tried therapy. She's just not really, like, we'd go and she'd just sit there and not talk. And yeah, there's a lot I could say about that. She's She struggles, for sure, I'm

Scott Benner 56:38
not in therapy, but I would love it. You would well, because the conversations I get to have every day, I have to be worried about, like, if other people are enjoying them, and if they're answering other people's questions. But I think I would thrive in an environment where you were like, just tell me about you. For an hour. I'd be like, Oh, my God, finally. And I know people are like, buddy, I think that's what the podcast is, but I don't I would, I would love that. Oh my gosh, but I don't know if there's any value. I mean, I'm sure there is. I'm sure there'd be plenty of value. But also, I do those episodes with Erica, which she would be quick to point out, she's not my therapist, but I find them very helpful, actually?

Speaker 1 57:20
Yes, I bet. Well, and you get to talk to a lot of people like that, seems almost therapy in itself, I would think, but maybe, since it's work for you,

Scott Benner 57:30
no, I love that way. Even talking to you about this, I know there's value for me in this.

Speaker 1 57:37
Oh, there's huge value for me. I mean, connection is, it's important. I think it's therapeutic. What

Scott Benner 57:45
I'm saying is, I think I get something out of this conversation, and whatever I think I'm getting out of it. I imagine other people are getting out of it as well. Like, that's kind of how I approach it. I don't know like, and when I sit down here, I always like, when I talk about things, I always talk about things from a perspective of, like, I think this is something people listening to a diabetes podcast would want to know about. Like, I don't like, talk about some of my other thoughts that are outside of this space, you know what I mean. Like, I've never really, like, sat down and really discussed what I thought AI is gonna do for the world. Or, like, you know what I mean, or, or this crazy woman that I saw outside of a pet store recently, and how it's possible that I believe that her reaction to an everyday situation might be the reason why we won't move forward as a species like I don't get to have those conversations here, but I have those thoughts I just don't think people would. Can I tell you this one? We're kind of at the end. Let's make sure that I've covered everything you want, and then I'll tell you this weird story. So, so is there anything we haven't talked about that you wanted to talk

Speaker 1 58:47
about? Not really. I mean, I have my notes in front of me. I just talking about how, oh yeah, I have notes. Tell

Scott Benner 58:54
me about them. What? What didn't we What didn't we talk about? Well,

Speaker 1 58:58
I just had notes about growing up seeing my grandma always, you know, give herself shots before eating, and my aunt's having pump so like it's been in the family, and I I've seen it, and my daughter, when she was diagnosed, was in DKA, and it's just like you'd think that I would have known better, you know, but I didn't grow it up with it in my home, though, I think that's kind of the answer there is, I didn't have a mom or anyone in my home like that. It was just my grandma and a few times a year. But still I just, I don't beat myself up about it, but in my head, I'm like, I didn't, why didn't I see something sooner? That's one of my

Scott Benner 59:40
notes. That's just you beating yourself up about something, that's just me

Speaker 1 59:43
being a parent, going, how could it get so bad? I mean, she had to be lifelighted like it was just, it was a really bad situation. I just wish I could have caught it sooner.

Scott Benner 59:55
I understand you wish that, but Nicole, you've heard enough people talk that to realize that they're probably. Was no way for it to occur to you, right, right? Yeah, yep. Do you? Are you more pissed at your anxiety? Because for all the things that makes you think about it, how did it not help you with this? Well,

Speaker 1 1:00:09
when it happened, I really it was me like, I this was all going on, and nobody was like, You should take her to the hospital. You should have her checked out. Everyone was saying, Oh, she'll be fine, or call the director in the morning. And it was me that was like, no, like, something's really wrong. I gotta take her. And so I'm glad I did that at that point. But I don't know, is that anxiety?

Scott Benner 1:00:36
Oh, of course it is. And there's nothing wrong with a little bit of anxiety. It's when you get too much of it. Anxiety is that thing that makes you pay attention to stuff? Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:00:46
yeah. Well, good thing. I paid attention because who knows what would have happened. Oh, no,

Scott Benner 1:00:51
it's great. I just, I was joking, almost saying, isn't it absolutely shitty that the anxiety makes you think about so many things, but it didn't help you enough with this one thing. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 1:01:01
it probably did help me in some regard, because if I couldn't kick it, I would have gone to bed that night and woke up in the morning, and who knows what the situation was, the anxiety is what made me take her to the ER. So

Scott Benner 1:01:16
then the question is, why don't you give yourself credit for that instead of feeling badly about it?

Speaker 1 1:01:21
Well, I'm trying. I just think it needs to come down a little bit

Scott Benner 1:01:26
the try here, the trying angle baffles my little brain. Watch this. I'm giving you credit for it. Accept that and move on. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm gonna move on. Never think about it again. You saved your daughter's life. I did, yeah, but not you didn't ignore it until it was in a bad situation. You didn't know about it, and as soon as you knew she was in a bad situation, you followed your instincts and you saved her life, probably because if she had to be life flighted at that situation, then you're right, overnight might have done her in. She could have died in her sleep from DKA, right, right. Why are we not celebrating what you've done?

Unknown Speaker 1:02:02
Good question. Here's the tears again.

Scott Benner 1:02:05
Oh, cry. Oh, we're good. Cry. Feel good about it like it's there's that very what does it make me think of I've been talking a lot about women applying for jobs in our house recently, because my wife just switched jobs, and it brings up the topic, my son's looking for work, etc. And there's that stat that says that men will apply for jobs they know they're not qualified for, but women won't apply for jobs they know they're overqualified for. Yes, fascinating. That's fascinating. There's almost nothing you could say to me, Hey, Scott, can you do this that? I wouldn't go, Yeah, I'll figure it out. You know, I wrote a book. Yes,

Speaker 1 1:02:39
I do. And I'd like to find it. I would really like to read it.

Scott Benner 1:02:43
You can get like, you can get like, a digitally, no problem. But that's not the point. But the point is this, a publisher got on the phone with me and said, Hey, you want to write a book? And I said, Yes. And they said, well, great, we want you to write a book about diabetes. This is a long time ago, and I said, I don't want to write a book about diabetes. I want to write a book about being a stay at home parent. I parent. And they were like, give us an outline. So I gave them an outline, and then we got back on a call, and I went over the outline, and they said, that's great. We're gonna pay you. Oh, God, what was it back then, I paid $5,000 to turn in the manuscript. So I worked for six months for five grand. So if anybody thinks like I made a bunch of money, and I got all done, and I called my wife at work, and I said, I'm gonna write a book. And she's like, can you write a book? And I said, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:32
I heard you talk about this.

Scott Benner 1:03:34
Yeah, if I can, I'll just give him the money back. And my wife was like, Uh, okay. Chuckles. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she never would have done that, but my wife's, oh yeah, fantastic technical writer, but she would have been like, I don't know how to write a book. And I was like, I don't know how to write a book, but Sure, I'll do it like and so, yeah, my point here is, is that, is that you did this thing. Just accept it and and celebrate it, and keep going like, Why are you beating yourself up about something that you didn't know anything about when you have when once you, I mean, you still didn't know anything about it, but you followed your instincts and you decided to do something, and it ended up being monumental for your daughter's life. And but when you described it to me, you described it as described it as a

Speaker 1 1:04:24
failure, yeah, yeah, interesting, right? Yeah, it's interesting. It's just my personality. I guess I don't like to boast. Your boast,

Scott Benner 1:04:33
you know, boast that's not boasting. That's just the facts. Lady, that's what you did. You're right, yeah, god damn right. I would celebrate much less than that. I once built an enclosure for my chameleon by myself, and I acted like I resurrected the Empire State Building. I was like, Look what I did. My wife's like, it's a box. And I'm like, I know, but I did it. Yeah, so anyway, all right, let me tell you this story about the lady who's gonna hold back the world. Sure. All right, I was coming out of a pet store, and I saw a Tesla owner use something so use something called the summon feature to have their car, pull itself out of its parking lot, parking spot, move through the parking lot and come up to the front of the building and park in front of them. And then they went and got into the car. And so I don't know if everybody knows that that's a thing, but you can, apparently, pull out an app on your phone, make sure the app knows where you're standing, and then hold down a button. Because I watched the person do this. I was asking questions and watching them do it at the same time they held down the button, the car lights came on. I watched the mirrors unfold. The car assessed the situation, pulled out, turned right, moved up, came to a stop, made a left turn, pulled up in front of the person. I was like, Holy hell, that was amazing, right? And there was, it was later at night. I want to be clear, it was like five of nine The place was closing. There was four or five cars in the lot. Not that any of this matters, but one lady who was in her car and her exiting her car and walking towards the store coincided with the car pulling out and driving itself up. So she's nowhere near the car. I want to be clear about that. She's probably 20 feet to the right of where the car is actually driving. The car pulls up, it makes the turn, it stops in front of the person. The person walks over to get into the car, and that is the first time that the lady is is aware of the car at all, like it's just prior to that. It was just a car that was driving. She paid no attention to it at all. But when she saw the person get into the driver's seat, you could see her face change as if to say, Oh, how did that car get up here? And as the person's getting into their car, she turns to them and says, That was scary. Nothing else, just that was scary. Lady was in her late 50s, early 60s. She looked like a regular person to me, you know, she got out of a car that indicated to me you would have to have a job to own it, like that kind of thing. And the person said, Excuse me. And she said, That was scary. And the person said, Oh, I'm sorry, the car does that. It, it actually, it can, you know, you can bring it to where you're at within a certain distance. And then the person offered up, I had to hold my finger on this button the whole time it was driving. If at any point I thought anything was going wrong, I could have taken my hand off the car immediately. Would have stopped. I you know, I'm sorry you were scared. And do you know what she said? What did she say? That was scary. And now I'm tallying on my fingers from a distance how many times this lady is repeating that was scary. She was up to three at this point, that person looked a little confused. Got into the car to leave, and while they were getting into the car, the one woman walked to the drive to the passenger side window and bent down as if to want to talk to the person more. They put their window down, and she said, and I'm not kidding you, Nicole, that was scary. And then the person says, Now I'm listening. And then, well, I was listening the whole time. It was goddamn fascinating. Okay, so and so now the person says to them, there are millions of these cars on the road. This is probably happening around you all the time. You did not even notice this until I went to get into the car, what was scary, and then she didn't answer. And there was just this frozen moment, and all I could think was, oh my god, is this the level of acceptance that lives in some people's minds? How are we ever going to move forward? Like she didn't say, oh my god, that was amazing. It's what I thought when I saw it. I was like, oh my god, yeah, that's amazing. She didn't think it was amazing. She didn't think it was different. She wasn't piqued her interest. Wasn't there to ask questions. She just was scared. But I don't think she was really scared. How could she be scared? The car wasn't moving when she realized what happened, and so she gets a little combative finally, and says, I was next to that while it was happening. And the person says, Well, you were pretty far away because I was watching, but you were completely safe. That was scary. She says again. And he goes, there are millions of cars on the road that have this as a matter of fact, he goes while you're driving on the highway, it's very possible that many cars around you are being driven by a computer and not by the person sitting in the driver's seat. And I'm talking about and he like the person I shouldn't said he, but the guy starts to get a little like animated, and says it is controlling the braking the. Hearing the accelerating, the changing of lanes. There are millions of cars on the road that literally drive themselves, and you have no idea. And I think he was trying to be comforting to her, yeah. And she goes, and I swear to God, Nicole, she says that was scary. And I'm like, is this woman a moron? Like, that's what I started thinking. Like, I was like, maybe she's a big dummy, you know what I mean. But I couldn't tell, is she stupid, or is she just that overwhelmed by what she saw?

Speaker 1 1:10:29
The person should have taken her for a text drive and a heart attack. I'll

Scott Benner 1:10:33
tell you right now. I don't know what would happen if she got in that car, because I think she wanted to murder him. He says, after that, after the last That was scary. He says, call your congressman. And she goes, What's that supposed to mean? And I am like, I am like, if I was younger, I would have been videotaping this, because this is what the kids do when they see like this. But I was just watching. I was just an onlooker. And he goes, call your congressman if there are laws you don't like these cars are legal. If it's a law you don't like, You should call your congressman and see if there's something you can't do about it. And then she just stared at him, and he wished her a good evening, and drove away. And then I acted like I wasn't watching so but I thought about that for an hour afterwards. I came home, I told my The reason I can retell it to you now is I told my wife that my son came home. I told my son because all I could think was, if that's people's level of acceptance or understanding or ability to like move and change, no wonder we can't change very quickly. Yeah, God if she didn't say that was scary 10 times. But after being like, like, given like, being spoken to, offered up reasons like comfort and never could articulate a conversation back only to get mad when he said, call your congressman, she didn't understand what that meant, and that made her angrier, and that's all I saw. Is a modulation of thinking from her in this I mean, what probably was just a minute and a half, like, you don't even it wasn't a long conversation anyway. Like, that's the kind of stuff I think about that I would actually talk about on a podcast. If my podcast wasn't about diabetes, I would spend hours discussing that minute and a half that I witnessed.

Speaker 1 1:12:19
Well, maybe once you have all of this with AI, you can do a spin off. You can do another podcast of what's in Scott's brain. Oh, my

Scott Benner 1:12:28
God, there's so many weird things in here. But no, I can't, because I also have all my other ideas on my whiteboard, some of them, yeah, I'm really excited about, actually,

Speaker 1 1:12:38
well, that's awesome. That's That's awesome. I'm excited to see what what comes out.

Scott Benner 1:12:43
Anyway, you're very nice to listen to my long story. One

Speaker 1 1:12:46
more thing I have to say, go ahead, you really need to go to Canada.

Scott Benner 1:12:50
What is wrong? You're not in Canada. Why are you pushing me into Canada? I'm not trying to get rid

Speaker 1 1:12:55
of into Canada. No, I just think it's funny how you talk about Canada or even Alaska or and I know you're doing it in good fun, but Canada is beautiful, and you would, you would really like it. And you may, you may, bought a moose. And you may, I don't know you just you had to go to Canada, go see Banff, go see like Louise. How would

Scott Benner 1:13:18
I be able to say, Don't you own a penguin, to people where live, where there are no penguins. If I went to camp,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
I don't know. I just think you ought to gotta try it.

Scott Benner 1:13:28
Don't you just live on a salt flat with a big rock pile in

Speaker 1 1:13:31
the middle of it? Yes, and everyone's in a pioneer dress and has one husband and lots of wives. And what else about Utah, we eat jello all the time. What

Scott Benner 1:13:42
kind of jello? Sugar free or sugar? Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:13:46
that's funny, because growing up, every family party in this diabetic family, there was always one regular rainbow jello and sugar free rainbow jello. Because we had so many diabetics in the family, is jello a Mormon thing. I don't know. Maybe it's a Utah thing, and maybe I'm just off my rocker, but it seems like it's always been a joke that there's always jello at and Mormon something.

Scott Benner 1:14:09
Well, you know, they say there's always room for jello.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:11
I didn't know that.

Scott Benner 1:14:13
I think that's the is that not the tagline?

Speaker 1 1:14:15
Maybe it's a generational thing, because I feel like with both of my grandmas, if we had a nice, fancy mill, there was always jello. I haven't made jello ever, so

Scott Benner 1:14:30
I just Googled. There's always room for and the first thing in Google is jello. Okay, oh, it's a god, it's a black and white ad. How fcking old am I? Exactly Jesus Christ. This is upsetting. Give me a second. Ready? Yep, hold on. Let's find this video here. This is a retrospectacle. There's always room for jello. It's actually a Oh, was yours in a jello mold? Like a salad, like a jello salad. I. Oh, like a button pan. Yeah, that's what they're showing right now. It says a sensation for salads, imitation apple flavor on the packages. There was Apple jello. Now it's more like green apple, right? Oh, and you could cube it up and put it together like in a wine glass. Look how sexy this is. Oh, oh, my God. The woman's mixer is a hand mixer. It's the one where you hold it, you turn the dial on the side of it to, like, make it spin. Oh, and this kid that they put in the he's not attractive, the child, hey, I mean, they must have just took the first baby. Well, this goes back into, like, all right, I can't watch this. Apparently, there's more history about jello than I knew. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 1:15:44
I just Googled Mormons in jello and nothing. Yeah, something. Oh, there is. I just, I don't need to take the time to read about all this. There's some stuff about jello.

Scott Benner 1:15:54
All right. Everybody get involved in that. Maybe Jerry Seinfeld will make a jello movie next now that he's done a pop tart film.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:02
Oh, dear.

Scott Benner 1:16:04
It's like a pop tart movie. What am I gonna do with that? All right, have we done it? Are we good? We've done

Speaker 1 1:16:09
it. We're good. All right, thank you. I really, I really appreciate this show. No,

Scott Benner 1:16:13
it's my pleasure, and I'm so happy the podcast is valuable for you. It's really touching, and I don't know another way to say it. I'm just really thrilled that you enjoy it and that it's that it's helpful for you. I don't know how you motivate somebody to learn about something that they don't want to learn about, but I would think like after listening to your whole conversation, I would think that if you had a conversation with your daughter and said, Look, you know, I'd love it if we could do some of the things when you're not with me that we do when we are, you know, these 300 blood sugars they you can't feel good when that's happening. I want you to feel good. I want you to be able to enjoy the time that you're spending with your dad and that kind of stuff. Here are some simple little things we could do that would help you, and then just kind of reinforce those things and be a, you know, be a teammate. Don't be like, don't be a, don't be a coach, you know, and that over time, maybe she'll, you know, incorporate those into her thinking, and then they'll just happen automatically. You won't need somebody to do it for you.

Speaker 1 1:17:19
Yeah, well, I've got to figure out how to sometimes they go out to dinner at like, 910, at night. That's just crazy to me. Wow. So one of those things will have to be figure out how to dose correctly when you go out to eat that late, yeah. And then how to work out, because I've tried the other thing of telling the dad, um, you know you're not with her very often, maybe when she's with you on these days, like, try to be done eating it. Like,

Scott Benner 1:17:50
do the things we know, do the things we know work maybe, or

Speaker 1 1:17:54
go out to eat somewhere where you know is like, or just cook at home. Like, yeah, I don't know. There's so many things that I I have done to help her, and it just seems like over there, it's whatever's convenient for them. Yeah. Well, anyways, yeah, great. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:18:11
all right, hold on one second for me, you were terrific. Thank you very much. You OmniPod. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gevok, glucagon. Find out more about gvoke. Hypopen at gvoke glucagon.com, forward slash juicebox. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, O n.com forward slash juicebox. This episode of The juicebox podcast was sponsored by us Med, usmed.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us. Med, links in the show notes. Links at juicebox podcast.com the episode you just enjoyed was sponsored by Medtronic diabetes. Learn more about hyperglycemia and what you can do about it at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The juicebox podcast. If you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're looking for some fresh perspective, the bold beginning series from the juicebox podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series, Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player, or you can go to juicebox podcast. Dot com, and click on bold beginnings in the menu, the episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwayrecording.com, you.

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