#781 Mama Wants Her Happy

October 31, 2022Scott Benner

Sabena’s conversation got adult out of nowhere.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 781 of the Juicebox Podcast

this was going to be one of those episodes where I got on here and told you had a great conversation with Sabina. She's really interesting. You're gonna have a lot of fun. She's from New Zealand, where do you see, but here we are in an after dark episode, and I did not expect that. And I have to tell you, it's just because the it's because of the shift of the conversation talking like the last 20 minutes, maybe were just kind of very adult all of a sudden, I mean, it was adult but then it just got. Anyway, we said penis a lot. So this is an after dark episode with subida. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Or becoming bold with insulin. You don't have to ask a doctor before you say penis on a podcast or hear someone say penis on a podcast that is completely up to you. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, where he's the caregiver of someone with type one, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash use box fill out the survey completely and join the registry so I'm asking you to do it should take you about 10 minutes T one D exchange.org forward slash juicebox. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox. today's podcast is also sponsored by touched by type one their annual dancing for diabetes event coming up very soon it touched by type one. So you're going to want to get to the website right quick and get yourself some tickets touched by type one.org. Today's podcast is also sponsored by Omni pod five. On the pod five of course, is the only tubeless automated insulin delivery system that integrates with Dexcom G six in layman's terms, that means it uses the data from your CGM to make decisions about insulin. Learn more and get started today at Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Before we start, I just want to tell you that the first like four minutes, the audio is weird, but we fix it very quickly. But I left it in because it sort of helped start the episode. I couldn't just cut it out. It wouldn't have made sense that we're TWICE I'm sorry. I'll say a couple words in a row.

Sabena 2:43
Yes, is like four o'clock in the morning. So I do probably just sound like it's four o'clock in the morning.

Scott Benner 2:49
Is it really? Yeah. We could have done this later.

Sabena 2:53
No, no, no, my child is asleep.

Scott Benner 2:55
Oh, you wanted to do this at four o'clock in the morning? Well, I

Sabena 2:58
actually booked in and didn't realize the time, but that's fine. I don't sleep anymore. Anyway. My son has diabetes.

Scott Benner 3:04
Sabina, can we just start talking? Do you mind if we just start here?

Sabena 3:08
No, that's fine. Is it? This is the sound cafe. Is it fine?

Scott Benner 3:12
I think I mean, I think so. You you're living on a small island in the corner of the planet. So I mean, I'm amazed I can hear you at all. Right. I think you're fine. I think you're absolutely fine. Okay. So usually I ask people to introduce themselves before they come on. But why don't you go ahead and do that and we'll keep talking.

Sabena 3:31
Okay, I'm Sabina from New Zealand and my son has my three. He's four now and he was three when he was diagnosed with type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 3:41
Okay. What is the noise behind you? wombat?

Sabena 3:49
No, that was just me moving in. My child's couched it. I'm hiding in the playroom.

Scott Benner 3:57
Okay, trying to stay still because the couch is noisy. I will watch like that right there. That's not something growling at you.

Sabena 4:08
Is it the actual computer? Like? I don't know. I'm an old

Scott Benner 4:12
computer or using the one from the television show last?

Sabena 4:18
Almost it's it's pretty old.

Scott Benner 4:21
It might be is there a way to get away from it a little bit or no? Like this? I don't know. I can't see you. Oh, maybe so I'm hearing the computer writing to the hard drive. Is that correct?

Sabena 4:37
Yeah, but I've moved as far as like, I'm pretty far away now.

Scott Benner 4:41
All right, good. Okay, well then let's let's go ahead and get comfortable. Do you guys not get modern technology in New Zealand or gaming? Can I send you something?

Sabena 4:51
Well, it would be great but no, I have to buy dates times every month so I can't get a new laptop.

Scott Benner 4:58
I used to you're buying data Sometimes you can't afford a laptop I got Yeah, exactly. Is that? Is that can you hear it? Or is it just me? You feel like it's just whack. Whack. Whack whack going. It's happening right now. There's nothing take your take your headphones off for a second and tell me if you hear anything.

Sabena 5:21
No, I can't. I can't hear anything. I could hang up and ring off my phone. Let's.

Scott Benner 5:27
Let's try that because at the moment, it sounds like a baby chewing on a hard rubber like passing. Okay, okay, I'm gonna kick you and then you can come right back. Okay. Hey, hi.

Sabena 5:41
Okay, is it? Is it better?

Scott Benner 5:43
Oh my God, it is so much better.

Sabena 5:46
I'm just gonna shut the laptop. Now.

Scott Benner 5:50
Yeah. And don't throw it but you know, moving far away from it's just the case. That was it. Sabina, do you want us to we get started like a GoFundMe and get you a laptop or something? Is that something you'd be? It was, it was going like this ready for an amp or an amp or an amp or an amp? Was if you could imagine like, a hard piece of rubber. And then it just felt like you were like, like trying to like grind it through your teeth and then your phone sounds so much better. So thank you appreciate it. Alright,

Sabena 6:21
so funny because I thought my crappy Samsung phone wasn't going to be good enough.

Scott Benner 6:25
Well, thank you Samsung. It sounds terrific. Yeah. So okay. So let's start over again. You're Sabine. You live in New Zealand. Your four year old has had diabetes for about a year diagnosed when they were three. And that's a son. Am I right?

Sabena 6:46
Yeah, my son. Joey.

Scott Benner 6:47
Look at me go. And Joey was diagnosed with threes for now. Joey have any brothers or sisters?

Sabena 6:57
He had as well. He still has a sister. And she was three months when he was diagnosed.

Scott Benner 7:02
Okay. So she's just a little over a year old now. Okay, yeah. And you were like he had a sister. You were gonna say he had a sister who was three months old. And then you stopped yourself? Because you're like, I don't want to characterize my baby as being not here any longer. So let me rephrase.

Sabena 7:24
We didn't tell her.

Scott Benner 7:27
I was just think she'd be snatched by something. But I don't know. We'll get to that later. Married. Not married,

Sabena 7:34
yet. married yet? Okay.

Scott Benner 7:37
Cool. So I love that you came on the podcast. There are so many people living in New Zealand and Australia. who listen to the podcast. It's just bizarre to me. So I'm always excited to hear from you guys. I am so sorry. So you got Ken, what happened? What time? Did you think you were doing this when you set it up?

Sabena 7:58
I have no idea. I don't I just move forward with my life. I don't really pay that much attention, because I've just got to keep going. So I have no idea what time I booked.

Scott Benner 8:09
Because you said earlier when the connection wasn't good. It's 4am. Where

Sabena 8:14
you are? Yeah, it's 435. Now

Scott Benner 8:17
Oh, my goodness. Did you go to sleep before doing this?

Sabena 8:22
Yeah, I went to sleep. I don't really sleep that much anymore. Because I because I still breastfeed my, my baby. And then, you know, getting up in the middle of the night to check numbers and stuff. So sleep is overrated.

Scott Benner 8:35
It's not something that you really need sleep. You have to sleep. Could we get the husband to breastfeed? Like I mean, can you put the milk in like a bag in the refrigerator or something

Sabena 8:45
like that? No, no, no. There has been can't go without sleep.

Scott Benner 8:49
What happens to him if that happens?

Sabena 8:52
I don't even think he would survive. I think you'd probably die.

Scott Benner 8:56
What happens to you without sleep?

Sabena 8:59
Without sleep? I just drink coffee and I'm fine.

Scott Benner 9:02
I think you're giving the coffee too much credit but okay, we're gonna get you through this part of your life. And then you're going to sleep again. Does that sound fair? Absolutely. Okay, good. So what made you want to come on the podcast?

Sabena 9:17
A little bit because like, this has been my main community. Like you, I'm so grateful for you. I remember when so someone that I know was type one. She recommended the podcast and I didn't listen to her and then she recommended it again. And I was like, oh my god I set when I first found you. I set for a whole day listening to the episodes and finally, FINALLY found like the community and people telling stories and people feeling as sad and confused as me.

Scott Benner 9:48
Are you in the Facebook group? Yes. Excellent. Are you so your friend tried to get you to listen once? What was your reaction when she said it?

Sabena 9:59
Was she well Isn't my friend She's my friend now. Hey, Tasha, because I know to be listening. She was just someone that I knew through my sister. And when my son got diagnosed, I thought the world was going to end. So I was desperately like going through the world trying to find people that were type one that were normal, as awful as it sounds.

Scott Benner 10:22
What do you mean? Like you were like for people who were doing well, or you were looking at you? Were you in Mensa people? They weren't didn't seem normal. So you kept moving to your?

Sabena 10:33
Well, like, because he was my baby, obviously, he was three. And I've never hit my baby. I've never like I try and do conscious parenting. And so it was really hard transition, suddenly having to pin him down and stab him with needles. You know, all of that, that I thought he was going to hate me forever. And it was going to be hard for either, because it's really hard in the beginning. And it's not hard anymore. Like it's still sometimes. Sad. It's not like it was.

Scott Benner 11:10
I understand. Okay, so, okay. What is how did you characterize your parenting?

Sabena 11:17
Um, conscious parenting does that mean? It's kind of like respectful parenting that you your first goal is to be like in a relationship with your child, you're not. You see them as equal humans. And like when they're having a tantrum, you don't just say, Oh, we're having a tantrum you, you might be like, I can see you're really tired. And you just kind of do the all the mushy stuff.

Scott Benner 11:44
And you somehow saw that taking care of the diabetes is getting you away from that.

Sabena 11:49
Yeah, so like, I would never hit my children. And I was literally inflicting pain on him multiple times a day, like doing the preps and doing the needles. And like he would hide from me under the table. And it was like, he looked at me like, Man, why you hurting me? And then he told me, he hated me. And he'd never told me he hated Me before. And I was, it was like, you're meant to do this when you're a teenager, not now.

Scott Benner 12:15
The first time your kids tell you, they hate you. It's a special moment for you. How did you stand very still and try to push it all back inside? No, I cry. Did you just cry? I describe. Yeah, there's not anyone. It's funny. When you have kids, isn't it? What you expect is going to happen versus what happens is very different. Absolutely. Yeah. No kidding.

Sabena 12:41
I was. I was the best parent in the world before I had kids.

Scott Benner 12:48
You really thought you had it all figured out? Right? What What surprised you?

Sabena 12:53
So I'm an early childhood teacher? I've got a degree. Child Development.

Scott Benner 12:58
Yeah. That's worse, isn't it?

Sabena 13:04
Because you know, when you're being a bed,

Scott Benner 13:07
not only that, but you read it. So you think, Well, this must be right. It was written in a book.

Sabena 13:12
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And then you

Scott Benner 13:15
have a baby and you find out like, so do you ever? Do you ever listen to the episodes? I'm sorry. I don't know how much you listen to the show. But if you ever heard any of the episodes, like I do with Erica, the therapist.

Sabena 13:28
I've listened to some of them. Okay. It kinda depends. Like how said, like, I want, I want to get some time. Because

Scott Benner 13:38
my podcasts are supposed to make you sad Is it me said?

Sabena 13:43
No, it's like therapy. For me. It's finally finding people that understand, like, where I'm at. And so my my husband's family actually have type one diabetes has sustained has it,

Scott Benner 13:56
okay.

Sabena 13:58
And, like, I never understood, like the depth of it. And they, they are a little bit emotionally constipated. And they didn't kind of show up for us in a way that if someone that I knew got type one diabetes, I would probably help them in a way different way to them, that your show helped me in the ways that like, I had a poet like, they didn't come and see us when we were in the hospital. And in one time, Joey was really low when I tried to ring them to say like, Hey, what's like, helped me and she said, I'm sorry, I'm putting my child to sleep. And I just thought this is life or death, but okay, ignore my call.

Scott Benner 14:42
So your extended family, the one that knows about the diabetes isn't like emotionally available to you.

Sabena 14:51
And also not practically available, like there was a couple of times when, like Joey had a tummy bug, and so I didn't know what to do. So I posted on the Facebook group. And people immediately told me what to do. Like, you know, in that moment of panic because tummy bugs are really scary when, like you're newly diagnosed, and the Facebook community got me through them, not actual people that are my family.

Scott Benner 15:19
Yeah. It's funny, I'm enjoying talking to you. But we've gotten so far away of why I brought up Eric, I don't even know if I want to go back or not. I was just gonna, but let me do it. Because it's in my head. I'll get rid of it that way. I was going to say that we were talking about how things aren't sometimes the way they're supposed to be right? That you read something, you read something in a book that you went to apply it in real life and you you're like, oh, this doesn't actually work. And in practice, I always think that about I don't always think it, but I wondered about therapy, like when somebody says, you know, oh, I have anger issues. And a therapist says, Well, you should do X, Y, and Z. I think, well, that sounds great. But does that really work? And you know, like, is it a thing that people would really do? Would you really think to stop and do that thing in the moment? And is it actually you don't? I mean, is that is it? Is it functionally? Is it functionally something I can count on and sound? Or is it just something that sounds good when we say it to each other?

Sabena 16:21
I think you don't even know the magic you have. So like the way you talk and unpack things, is very therapeutic. But I also enter like all the woowoo stuff in these, uh, not related to diabetes. There's a lady called the holistic psychologist and lots of her stuff does work in the moment because you start becoming conscious of your triggers. And you realize, like how you're behaving, when you take a step away from the emotion even in the moment.

Scott Benner 16:55
Three, and I should have married you. Because no, no, no, you get well your husband.

Sabena 16:59
My husband thinks I am married to because I'll do the dishes with you on in the kitchen. He goes, Oh, that guy again.

Scott Benner 17:08
Well tell him if you say if your sister would answer the phone. Not with time I wouldn't never found the podcast. I just mean that the people in my family are less like me Arden's the most like me. But still, when it comes to like, the diabetes side of being in touch, she's still not like, she doesn't love it. You can talk to her about other things. And she can be more psychologically, like deep and available. But I appreciate what you just said about the way I unpack things. It's nice. I thought that was lovely. Thank you

Sabena 17:44
know, you really, you really do. And it's like, I am obviously because diabetes is such a journey in the numbers fluctuate so much like I've really listened to the protests multiple times, because you know, how you finally think everything's sorted out. And then hello, Grossberg. Even the way you able to unpack all of that is amazing. Like, I keep trying to tell people to listen to it. And I even told my sister in law to try and I said, Listen to the Juicebox Podcast, and she won't, and it makes me so angry.

Scott Benner 18:18
Don't be angry. Um, Listen, can I get we can be even right now. You can pay me back. Can you do me a favor? Yeah, say fluctuate again.

Sabena 18:29
That numbers all the people

Scott Benner 18:31
know the word. fluctuate. Oh, the first time you said it, it sounds like you said actuate. And I was having fun. It might have just been my dishes bit of thing. Because Oh, hold on. I have to just write down where I have to edit out where I said. Yeah. Where I said it again. There we go. Anyway, I love your accent. It's terrific. I like it when you say bitter instead of better. And a couple of other things. So it's a lot of fun. Have you Are you born and raised in? In New Zealand? New Zealand? Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. Do you like it there? Would you or have you never been off the island.

Sabena 19:09
I've been to Australia. We lived in Australia for a little bit. I like it here. I like that. I don't have to pay $600 for my insulin. I'm so grateful for that. And we got Joey's pump for free. Well, like funded and stuff like that.

Scott Benner 19:26
So I'm on there right now.

Sabena 19:30
Yeah, we have Dick's home, but we have to pay for it. We're trying to like, get that funded as a like a community.

Scott Benner 19:38
What do you what do you pay for when you pay out of pocket for it?

Sabena 19:43
$400 a month. And that's

Scott Benner 19:46
is that three? Three sensors?

Sabena 19:49
Yeah, yeah. Spray sensors and then the transmitter every we never they seem to

Scott Benner 19:54
1600 a year basically. You know, compared to the cash price here, that's inexpensive.

Sabena 20:05
Is it 1600? A year? Was it two and a half? 1000?

Scott Benner 20:08
Well, I don't know. Is it $400? Oh, is it $400 A month? Excuse me. I was thinking, that's my fault. I apologize. Okay, so times 12. Okay. Yeah, that's a lot.

Sabena 20:24
But it's worth it. It's so worth it.

Scott Benner 20:26
And do you think that at some point, the I guess it's the government health system, right, you're waiting for them to avert? Is it happening? Do you think it'll happen?

Sabena 20:35
So, we are quite similar to Australia, and Australia has just started funding it. And so hopefully, we use a lot of the data. So hopefully, they will follow suit.

Scott Benner 20:47
Okay. Oh, good luck. I hope that happens. For sure. Yeah, that'd be a big deal. I

Sabena 20:51
hope it happens. I really hope it happens for the kids whose parents don't aren't able to afford it.

Scott Benner 20:57
Yeah. No, it's I mean, that's, uh, if you think about it, right. It's $100 a week. It's it's a lot. I mean, a day, what does that make it? Like? Hold on a second. Sorry. That's fine. I'm gonna use the calculator. Because I want to know,

Sabena 21:13
and I'm just desperately waiting for Omnipod to come here because we don't have Omnipod yet. What are you using? I'm on a T slim and we really liked the algorithm. But that the tubing,

Scott Benner 21:28
Ah, okay, but you'd like to get rid of the tubing. That makes Yeah,

Sabena 21:32
cuz he's, like a really active little boy. And, and also, not that it matters. But as he gets older, it would be really nice to be able to hide it if he wants to. Just because it's hard to be different sometimes as a kid.

Scott Benner 21:47
Yeah, I understand. So anyway, I've broken it down and you're using Dexcom at a cost of about $14 a day.

Sabena 21:54
Well, that's nothing when you look at it like that. I just wanted to

Scott Benner 21:57
bring it I wanted to make I wanted to make it feel easier for you here. How about this? It's only like 50 cents an hour. We go out even you're fine.

Sabena 22:10
My son has over 100 Hot Wheels, monster trucks because I used to have to bribe him for everything. So you know.

Scott Benner 22:22
Everything has its price. Do you? Were you bribing him for just anything? Or you were bribing him for diabetes stuff?

Sabena 22:29
No, it was just for diabetes. Like when he because he started on the library. So it used to be a Hot Wheels for like the big pack is what we used to call it. Quite a staple. Like it's like we only have the libre one here. Yeah, so he I used to have to bribe him for everything. But now I can do his site changes in his Dexcom in asleep.

Scott Benner 22:54
Let me just make it give me a second. I want to make a note to myself get hot wheels. Yeah, for Kelly are e big prick. Okay, got it. Thank you. If that works, I'm gonna give that a

Sabena 23:06
try. That has to be monster trucks. You can't just be

Scott Benner 23:09
what you want. That's fine. Monster Truck. Thank you for him actually worth that down. So. Okay, so you are you're you're like thinking about coming on the podcast was pretty simple. You're like, I just want to say how good the podcast is and how much it's helped me.

Sabena 23:27
I think I'm done. Now, I think that makes you sleep. Sleep.

Scott Benner 23:30
But you also talked about a couple of other things. So let me ask you about them. So I think the first thing is fairly centered to newer diagnose people? I don't know. But it seems to bother a lot of people that the rest of the world can't tell how hard diabetes is. Is that what you mean when you say invisible?

Sabena 23:55
Yeah, and, and it's the people thinking, Oh, you just do this. And that's fine. And it's also the misconception about type one and type two. And literally, it was only two weeks ago that my brother in law said, Ah, just as Joey not got it from eating too much lollies and I'm like, if my family can't even understand it, how can you expect the world to?

Scott Benner 24:22
And this is your side of the family?

Sabena 24:25
That's my sister's husband. I'm not claiming him.

Scott Benner 24:29
We are not married but we're not related by blood. Yeah. We're related by my sisters questionable decisions.

Sabena 24:38
Very Christian.

Scott Benner 24:40
I'm sure he's the lightful. What do you say? So I have a question. I have a question about this idea. So this is one of the one of the bigger things that I'm still unpacking about living in the diabetes space. And my daughter has had it now for Oh god. 16 years. I think yes, 16 years. I don't understand why that stuff matters. I don't. So let's go through it step by step, tell me why it matters to you. If someone doesn't understand what goes into managing diabetes?

Sabena 25:19
I don't know, I suppose it does matter less and less. I think because you do know that your child has a slightly harder life. And you want to hope that they're going to give them grace when they need it. But that's a really good question. Yes, really? It shouldn't matter

Scott Benner 25:40
what, it's just interesting. Because think about it, like just pick something else out in your life. It's difficult for you that none of us know about. Like, are you mad that people don't know about that thing?

Sabena 25:52
No, I think I'm just made because why did it have to happen to my baby? Yeah, you know?

Scott Benner 25:59
Yeah, Sabina, that's what I'm getting at it. I think people are just mad because they have diabetes, or their kid has it? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And then you come up against some stupidity, which isn't even stupidly, it's, I mean, I've said it, I used to say it a lot in the past that I mean, the number of things I don't understand, you know, could fill up could fill an encyclopedia. And so, if everybody who had a thing that I didn't understand, expected me to understand it, I don't know what my life would be, then what would my life just be making sure I understand everybody else's life? And then if that's the case, are you gonna get to have a life? Because Won't you be busy understanding my life? And then isn't it just crazy that we're asking everybody to understand everything?

Sabena 26:45
Well, absolutely. But then I suppose you can also take it in and go through life, having a higher level of grace for people knowing that everyone is going through something.

Scott Benner 26:55
Yeah, that's I mean, to me, that's obvious. The if people aren't. If, if when somebody says something to you, that sounds like I have this thing I'm dealing with, and it's difficult, and you don't respond with Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help not? I'm sure you did something wrong to make it happen, you know, or some other crappy response. I know that, Sabina, if you want to get together and make T shirts and start a group about being mad about something, I'll, I'll jump right on board with you there. You know, people's inability to be human, in obvious situations, is upsetting. But I don't expect anybody to understand diabetes,

Sabena 27:38
I suppose to the flip side of it. And this is just being human. And sometimes it's annoying to when you see, like, because obviously we all have our moments, but we pull out like we put our big girl pants on and we get on with our day. And it can be really frustrating to see other people not just suck it up other things and just get on with it, too.

Scott Benner 28:01
Oh, this is an interesting one. So let's see, we're gonna talk about something fun. So when you know how hard it is to live with diabetes, and have a newborn baby, by the way, who's attached to you literally. And then you see someone crumbling at the slightest thing. It's hard to fathom. Like, how they can't push through this this thing? Was that right?

Sabena 28:26
I feel like awful person. But yeah, sometimes there are people and you just want to be like, Okay, that's really sad. Let's have a cry about it. But yeah, let's, let's move on.

Scott Benner 28:36
We got to keep going here. Yeah, I am fascinated by that to actually the other day, because this happened recently. I brought this up on another episode. So I won't retell it here. Because for people listening six months from now, they'll hear it in succession. But Arden just started college, and a kid came into her room, just kind of panicking. And she's texting me and she's like, I don't know what's wrong with this kid. You know, like, like, we think the thing that they are out of their mind about she's like, it's so small. And, you know, we talked about it both ways, while we were texting. And I first of all, I said, Listen, it's terrible for them, be grateful that you're not overwhelmed by something of this size. And at the same time, I take your point, because you're in there trying to learn and this kids spinning in circles over. I mean, I guess to them, it's something big, but I mean, honestly, it's, it's a very, very, very trivial thing. And not an insurmountable task, not, you know, something life changing. And you just realize that there's, I mean, the kids got some issue. I don't know what it is. But it's, you know, it's burdened by it. And so in the end, we said, you know, I hope he gets help, I said, is a teacher helping him and then we made a terrible joke to each other And to like to lighten the mood, and then we moved on and I really genuinely hope but what I remember now from that is that I hope the kids okay, and I hope the teacher moved him in the right direction and got them help. You know, but it was it was, by most accounts, it was silly.

Sabena 30:19
I do think too, it's like what you've I don't know what episode you said it, but you were like, if there's a zombie apocalypse, you think you would survive? I would survive too. Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:29
Yeah. The only thing we can't get me is my knee. If my knee gave out I'd be in trouble. But other than that, I understand how to do things. Why are you What did you grow up having to get through?

Sabena 30:41
Oh, I think it's just a disposition thing. My oldest sister. Yeah, my oldest sister's really similar. Like we both just fake it till we make it. And like, keep moving. Have a cry, eat some chocolate and then figure it out.

Scott Benner 30:59
Sounds like a good plan. Yeah, dark chocolate. Milk chocolate. Sabina, which do you prefer?

Sabena 31:05
Milk chocolate? I don't want your yucky dark chocolate.

Scott Benner 31:08
Okay. Well, then, okay, I'm sorry. I will not I will definitely not. I was gonna put a piece of chocolate in with the new computer you were getting but now I'm not doing anything. Now that you've taken this harsh stance against dark chocolate, how much is your husband involved in the the diabetes stuff?

Sabena 31:30
Um, I would say maybe 5%.

Scott Benner 31:38
Why is that? Do you want him to be more involved?

Sabena 31:41
I'm probably a control freak. And especially once I heard the podcast about the don't die advice. He was quite happy to listen to the doctors. And we didn't have the best advice. It was the don't die advice. And I wanted to be bold with insulin and I wanted to fully like I just deep dived into everything and became a semi expert as much as you can when you're newly diagnosed. And he literally is only just now starting to listen.

Scott Benner 32:16
Are you bringing him along with the idea now? Is he I guess you're showing it to him right? You're showing him a difference and he sees it?

Sabena 32:24
No, I'm really bad for because there was a little bit of tension because I wanted to correct and I wanted better. And he trusted the doctors. I had to just do it myself.

Scott Benner 32:38
Did you do it? Oh, so did you decide that you would just take over the the management so that you guys didn't have to talk about it and there wasn't that tension, or did you do it behind his back? What are you saying?

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Sabena 35:40
He just kind of throw it at me and let me do it. He was easier. Like, okay, put it he was like, This is too hard. I can't understand this. You do it. So do I understood?

Scott Benner 35:53
So do you think that? Do you think that he really was okay with the advice from the doctor or the advice from the doctor was manageable for him?

Sabena 36:05
I think it was just easy. And I think when it has mum when his sister got diagnosed, his mom refuse to take on any of the care from her sister and just buried her head in the sand. And I think he just buried his head in the sand because he knew I would do it.

Scott Benner 36:24
But you don't. Okay, and you're comfortable with the arrangement or you wish he was more involved?

Sabena 36:31
I don't think he'd do it as well as me. So I would rather do it myself.

Scott Benner 36:35
We it sounds awful. No, it doesn't. We've just heard at its core boys and girls. That was great. He's like, it'll be fine. And you were like, No, it's not do it like this. And he's like, I don't want to and I said why don't you teach him you're like, well, he wouldn't do it as well as me anyway.

Sabena 36:53
But you'll be exception to the role. Got you. All for Adam.

Scott Benner 36:58
Yeah, I'm the exception to the rule. Because I was at home? Well, I don't know, I was at home by myself whether I didn't want her to be. I don't want her blood sugar to be high. You know?

Sabena 37:07
Yeah, absolutely.

Scott Benner 37:09
I don't know. I'll tell you what that story is why boobs exist? wasn't for that. I don't think we get anything accomplished at all. Seriously, really. And I wish I was making this up. I really think this, I really believe that if you don't have anything to entice a guy with it's hard to get them to go beyond the way their brain thinks you know what I mean?

Sabena 37:35
And it actually is absolutely true boys brain is so different to a girl's brain. It's unfair

Scott Benner 37:39
that we don't have boobs, because maybe he could maybe he could get you to be a little less controlling. Because, because, because think of it from his side, is it possible? And I have no idea, obviously. But is it possible he doesn't want to be involved? Because he knows that no matter what he does, it's not going to be good enough for you? And then he's going to fail in your eyes.

Sabena 38:04
Um, possibly, possibly.

Scott Benner 38:07
Do you think that right now there's like a large portion of the women listening who are like, Oh, geez, that might be true. So because I have that feeling, like when my wife when I do something, and it's not right for her, or it doesn't, whatever, I'm using the wrong words when it lets her down somehow, I feel terrible. And then sometimes when she asks me to do something that I know is going to inevitably lead to me doing something that she's not going to find, okay, I get mad at her for asking me to do it. Not because I don't want to do it. But because it feels like that her ask is eventually going to make me sad. And I don't and I am mad at her for making me sad. Does that make sense?

Sabena 38:55
Yeah, I think that you're gonna you're just converting him to want to listen to your podcast. Can you sell right your team husband?

Scott Benner 39:03
I can do I can do the other side of the arguments have been no trouble. No, no, no. Yeah. Good. Valid. Yeah. And so I don't know, obviously, maybe let me just say this. Maybe your husband's just a deck. I have no idea. But, but you know, seriously, like, it's just, we all feel the way we feel. And I think we all feel the way we feel partially because that's how we feel. And partially because we're having a response or a defense against what's happening across from us.

Sabena 39:35
That's, I definitely, I definitely think you're right. But I also think, and this isn't PSA, I definitely love our kids more than he loves them. So I think maybe I care just a little bit more.

Scott Benner 39:49
So you know, you think you love your children more than your husband?

Sabena 39:55
I think so.

Scott Benner 39:58
To revert back to what I said a few minutes to go, if it wasn't for boobs, we wouldn't even we wouldn't even know each other. You know what I mean? Like, we just we wouldn't even know we'd be off. There'd be like a collection of men on one side and a collection of women on the other side. That'd be it. Then we die off slowly, because no boobs. That's it. Whoever made the boobs knew what they were doing. I'll tell you that much. It's holding the whole thing together. It's the glue. Yeah. Isn't it fascinating? That it doesn't matter if they're good boobs or bad boobs or small boobs or stretchy boobs or tiny big boobs? Nobody cares. Doesn't matter.

Sabena 40:36
Well, that's what makes sense why he keeps telling my daughter. Those are my toys You're ruining then.

Scott Benner 40:42
Stop, stop. Stop chewing on my toys and leave it on there in that sweatshirt. Yeah. Did you breastfeed your older one?

Sabena 40:54
Yeah, I received I breastfeed him till he was two and a half.

Scott Benner 40:58
Oh my god. Really? Yeah, that's amazing. Good for you.

Sabena 41:03
I want to kick this baby off, but she won't leave me.

Scott Benner 41:10
I don't know. I think it takes a in a world where there are other options where you can go to manmade options. I think it takes a lot of stick to itiveness to continue to breastfeed I'm I'm very enamored of of the effort that it takes. I think it's amazing.

Sabena 41:26
I also think so Joey was always like the sick, a really sick kid. He always had bronchitis and all sorts of stuff. And I really think because I breastfeed him so long, that their diabetes didn't trigger it until it did. I really think I shouldn't say this, but that's how I felt because he was so sick, but it never triggered and then once he was weaned, and he was beggar, the natural good. I have all sorts of crazy theories, though. So I'm probably wrong

Scott Benner 41:53
against the being of boobs saved the day. They do. That could be the episode title boobs save the day. I think it has to be the episode to think about it and get back to it. Okay, so what have we established? So far? Your husband doesn't love your children isn't? What do you mean, your husband doesn't love your children as much as you do? What do you mean by that?

Sabena 42:16
I think we all have different capacities for stuff. And no, I just think it and I feel it's

Scott Benner 42:26
do you? Do you think my wife thinks she loves my kids more than I do?

Sabena 42:32
I don't know your wife and I just listened to the way you talk about Adam. And I just think God, you're such a fabulous dad. He must really love.

Scott Benner 42:42
What if my wife just has great boobs and she's holding them over my head? She's like, you have to love these kids. Alright, put these away. What is it that? You know, for the record? Can I say my wife does have terrific boobs. I just want to put that out there. But that's that's not why I brought him up. I see because I'm I was trying to lead you to the idea that I bet if you asked her who loves the kids more you or me she'd say her? Because she thinks she has that mom connection. And the dad thing can look disconnected at times.

Sabena 43:18
I'm saying to though we grow them in our body. They always else and especially if you breastfeed them I don't know. I think this might get too political. I just think I love them more than

Scott Benner 43:32
Sabina. I had to live with her while she was growing that baby. I should get points for that. Don't you think?

Sabena 43:40
No barking up the wrong tree. Oh, no, no.

Scott Benner 43:44
I've gone to the wrong side of the argument for you now.

Sabena 43:49
So you can go on an island was my husband.

Scott Benner 43:52
Thought you already live on an island. Those true little islands next year Island. Um, yeah. Did you see that about my Rolland? Did you say they were thinking? I don't know what a kiwi is. Is that a that's a bit Oh, that was like I don't know if that's an animal or racist reference the people. I couldn't tell what was happening. But did you? Did you see that? I think a couple of years ago some major map was made that completely omitted New Zealand and it really did you did you see that in the news?

Sabena 44:32
I did. But if if the world like ended, we have so many resources down here. People out people are building bunkers. They want to be in New Zealand without clean water.

Scott Benner 44:41
I do like the idea of the clean water. So you said can I come there and live or do you have all those deadly animals like the Australians have?

Sabena 44:50
No we have no yucky deadly animals. We have no snakes, no poisonous spiders. New Zealand is actually really lovely.

Scott Benner 44:58
How is that possible? That's amazing, but how is that possible? Not that you would know. But does that mean somebody introduced them on on Australia at some point? And then

Sabena 45:14
I don't know I we've, we've got quite different environments like the quite deserty and we're, I don't know.

Scott Benner 45:22
Listen. I don't know what you know exactly, Sabina, because I'm googling here New Zealand soul venomous spider is the stuff of legends.

Sabena 45:32
Well, what spider is this,

Scott Benner 45:34
I'm looking for Hold on a second. Well, almost free because the Legendary Cat tipo is the sole native venomous species living in New Zealand. It's a small but mighty critter with a bite that can pack a serious punch. Now I don't want to subscribe to your newsletter. Oh, a second. With just a few 1000 left in roughly 50 areas of northern of the on the North Island, and eight on the South Island. These dangerous little beauties are rare, rare than a kiwi or the Kiwis where

Sabena 46:11
I think they're endangered. But that's probably just shows how good the education system is. Because I didn't know about.

Scott Benner 46:18
Maybe your mom just told you don't worry. There's no dangerous spiders here. There's no white snakes. Oh, I hate snakes. But spiders too. I don't know. I'm sure there's spiders here that'll kill me. I just you know, America. So I think it's better.

Sabena 46:36
Or even your guys. Big gun control? Probably more likely to.

Scott Benner 46:42
Oh, my God. Sabina, do you want to hear a story that has nothing to do with diabetes? Absolutely. Right. So let me sit up. So we I sat back, I was getting so comfortable with you. We took Arden to college. We're driving home. My wife has her car, I have my car. My son's with me. It is midnight as we're driving home, and my car breaks down. And I'm able to get it off the highway. But when I get off the highway, this is in Virginia. There's nothing like just no place to pull over. So I just I kind of inch along while the cars just kind of inching along until I see these motels right across the street from one another. Now imagine a motel from an Quentin Tarantino movie where they're going to like a hooker is going to kill a drug dealer. Okay, like that kind of a hotel situation. One level, probably the kind of thing where people live and you know, it's not it's not the, it's not the Holiday Inn is what I'm saying. Okay, so I they're literally directly across the street from one another. I take the one on the right side because I'm on the right side and it seems easier to pull in. I come to a stop. And within 30 seconds, I see a drug deal happened in front of me outside of a lovely BMW. Now the rest of this place does not look like it supports BMW. It's very rundown and dirty and scary. I know I have a tow truck coming but it's going to take 90 minutes. My son has a friend who lives like 40 miles from there. So I we had already contacted him. I was like look, just call your friend have him come get you I don't want you to stay here with me. I'll stay and wait for the tow truck. So I don't know 10 or 15 minutes later, my son's friend comes. takes him away. As I drive away we we joke I you know if I live through this, I'll see you later. And you know about an hour or so later the tow truck arrives and I flashed my high beams like so he can see where I'm at. He flashes them back and as he's making his way over to me, and I'm not kidding. Sabina pop three gunshots I'm like what is happening? Right? So I look up and the crazy thing is is that prior to my son leaving I said do you think we should go across the street it looks more lit up over there. And we decided to stay where we weren't the gunshots came from across the street. So now cars are pulling off in all directions. People are running into the woods and I swear to you a pregnant woman waddle runs across the street to where I am. And I'm trying not to laugh but she looks ridiculous. So it's so it's a very serious situation obviously, because people are shooting each other. And in the middle of it. I'm giggling because she is just not in the condition to run but she is just and she's wearing slippers and she's just going as fast as she can. So then the tow truck driver pulls up completely oblivious. He gets out of the car. He goes Hey, are you Scott? His name was Alex I go not now Alex. Like well I said, there was just a shooting across the street. And he goes when I went. Now, it just happened now. And he's like, Oh, he puts the gate down on the back of the trailer. And we like together, jam my car up on it. And, and like go flying out of there. And that was it. So anyway, gun control. Yeah. I'm okay, obviously. But seriously, an hour before that I had given serious consideration to crossing the street and going and staying over there instead. So it is,

Sabena 50:38
what would all of the diabetics do if you had died? Scott, we can't have that

Scott Benner 50:44
you wouldn't have been you would have just thought I was at a drug deal or something? Probably you would have been like, Oh, my God, I've been following this guy's podcast forever. And it turns out, he's a heroin addict. Because you wouldn't have known about the brokedown car and all that stuff. You would have been like, Where was he killed? What motel Oh, that's shameful. Anyway, cars fixed and everything's fine. That's neither here nor there. Why the hell are you on the podcast? Besides to be delightful? You want to talk about things? You said you were having some trouble and you want to talk about them? Do you still have those issues?

Sabena 51:17
I'm not not so much like we, it just ebbs and flows. So right now we're in a good place, but I essentially had to double like all of his basals Okay, and it took me like a month to figure it out. And it made me feel really stupid, because I was like, of course, if we continuously going high after the meals, like in between the meals, of course, it's the basil, but sometimes it's just hard to remember that.

Scott Benner 51:46
Okay, and so what happened? He was honeymooning, do you think, and then he wasn't?

Sabena 51:53
I'm not I think there was some honeymooning. And then when we transition to our pump, we had a couple of bad batches of the insulin that we got. So we changed insulins. And also it was really hard to transition from a pager. Because we were manually injecting a pager for meals. And we had to get rid of that because you can't have that and the T slim and transition to the human log and it just doesn't work the way the pager works.

Scott Benner 52:19
Okay. And you're using a pager now?

Sabena 52:23
No, we can't have it in the T slim.

Scott Benner 52:27
subpoena why? I think that what they say? I don't think you're supposed to. I don't think you're supposed to use it. Omnipod either.

Sabena 52:40
Oh, okay. Um, I'm picking out what you're putting down. That's the truth.

Scott Benner 52:46
I think what happens is that people make devices, which is very cool. I think they then put them through the different health authorities. And they do testing so they can say, hey, we did you know, we use the Nova log and this pump and it worked fine. They probably picked Nova log because it's used by more people. And then they say, you can only use they don't say you can only use Nova log and the pump. They say we've tested the pump with Nova log. That makes sense.

Sabena 53:19
Sort of like I thought that someone said that the pager like clocks or something or goes away.

Scott Benner 53:26
I've heard people say that too. I don't know. Arden's been using a pager with Omni pod for like, a decade probably.

Sabena 53:34
Suppose like, we knew how the pager worked. It worked fast. So if he's going high, sometimes we'll just do a manual shot of the pager? Because it's just so much faster. Yes, to bring him down.

Scott Benner 53:46
It's a good plan. It works for sure. Look, I don't know if it'll work in your pump. Maybe the heat is different, where you are, etc. I don't know. But I mean, I've heard people say to I tried to use it in a pump, and it didn't work. And I've heard him say that about other saying other things, and I don't know, I do what works. And this works for us.

Sabena 54:07
I might try that. Yeah.

Scott Benner 54:11
You know, it's very similar, like in the US, where a device will come out. And they're like, it's been FDA cleared for children like six and above, for instance. And then people like, Well, my kids five I wanted to use that they're all mad, but a doctor in the United States can write a prescription for anything they want off label. So if a pump, you know, says six and above and your kids for the doctor has autonomy to just write you the script anyway. As a matter of fact, there are drugs that are I mean, I think a good example would be Metformin, right? People use that a lot for type two diabetes and insulin resistance and stuff like that. But there are diet doctors who write Metformin for weight loss. So you know what I mean? I actually think an erection medication that does something else. I don't know what it is. Right now. I don't use erection medications. I will be your next. Sabina married. I don't need an erection. Let's see, hold on a second

do other things. Good? What do you want to say?

Sabena 55:23
isn't really good? These are the little tips not the erection tip.

Scott Benner 55:29
Little tip after I made a penis jokes, what's wrong with you? Oh my God. You are from New Zealand. I should know but I listen. I can't tell you if it's going to work or it's not going to work. But I can tell you. It works for some people. Okay, I can't tell you to try it. I mean, nothing you hear on the pod?

Sabena 56:00
I know. I know.

Scott Benner 56:01
Okay. So yeah, see what you can do. Okay, so you, you made big changes to insulin, that fixed your problem. So where where do you see stability at when his blood

Sabena 56:16
we sit between? Because it's quite hard because I have to fight the algorithm, because it's he's got the Basal IQ. So he sits between four and eight and a half usually, if I can, you know, if I've got him if other people he's not usually with other people, but with other people. They don't know how to. It's really hard to articulate because I do I try and do what you do, where you say you look like a plate of food. And you know how much more based on the how much units you'd need rather than carb counting? Yeah. So like, because carb counting doesn't work in the sense that if you had 15 grams of juice or 15 grams of potato chips, that's hard to quantify. Rather than looking at it unit wise. Yeah,

Scott Benner 57:14
I understand. So you have trouble explaining to other people?

Sabena 57:18
Yeah, I do actually. Okay.

Scott Benner 57:22
Between, by the way, between four and eight for people listening is between 72 and 144. In America,

Sabena 57:29
yeah. That's our main goal in these times. So if we're at daycare, because he comes to daycare with me. If there's say an icebox, I won't make him Pre-Bolus at daycare in a time like that, because I don't want him to like, feel different. Thinking about the mental health side of it, as well as the physical health. Yeah.

Scott Benner 57:54
What do you mean he comes to daycare with you do work at a daycare?

Sabena 57:57
Yeah, I'm, I'm qualified ACA teacher. So luckily, he got to come back to work with me. So the control freak keeps to I get to keep being controlling at work as well. That's nice. There's

Scott Benner 58:08
the baby come with you as well. Yeah, yeah, we all go. Nice. Oh, that's a good, that's a nice setup for you. How do you think he'll do when he moves on to school?

Sabena 58:19
So he could technically go to school in December, but in New Zealand, you can stay in early childhood till you're six. So he's going to stay with me for another year. Just because boys don't need to go into formal education. There's lots of research that their brains just need to go on Play. So I don't know what that's gonna look like. I'm really anxious about that. And it's a whole year away.

Scott Benner 58:43
Well, your husband with the school younger and it didn't help him at all right? How long do you think you're getting until you're getting divorced? Exactly. Do you think it'd be five years? Oh, no. Well, I, I'm so interested. I know your husband is probably not the kind of guy that wants to come on a podcast, but I would love to spend 15 minutes with him. Explain to me how he feels about your kids. I bet you ever asked him? Don't you think his love is just different than yours?

Sabena 59:23
Don't you think some people love some things more than other people?

Scott Benner 59:28
I don't think so. I just think it's different. I mean, I mean, a person who doesn't love another person. Yeah, that would be a bad comparison. If I asked somebody like do I love my daughter more than a stranger does? I would love her more. But I just I don't know. I just always think that people either show or don't show things differently. What they think of his love can sometimes be different, but I don't know the amount that they love. I don't know how anybody would measure that besides them, if that makes sense.

Sabena 1:00:04
It does make sense.

Scott Benner 1:00:05
Okay. I know you're joking a little bit too. But I also think you're serious. So

Sabena 1:00:11
you, you actually have lots of sage advice you should go. And if you don't want to do diabetes anymore, you should go become a therapist.

Scott Benner 1:00:17
I don't know Do you really is I don't want to disregard what people understand when they become licensed therapists. But it just seems to me that I bet your husband just feels differently, but equally as strong. I mean, here's an example. Sometimes I don't hold eye contact when I'm talking to people, even people in my family, and I feel bad about it all the time. And I will sometimes imagine a day when my son moves out for good that I will look back and think of all the times that he was in the same room with me that I wasn't looking at him. And I It makes me feel like I'm wasting time. So that's, that's me. Being sad about like, love that I have that I feel like I'm not giving properly.

Sabena 1:01:11
Yeah, that makes sense. Right.

Scott Benner 1:01:13
And so I mean, it's a little idea, but you but my wife would not know that. I feel that way. There'd be no way for me to explain that to her.

Sabena 1:01:24
That makes lots of sense.

Scott Benner 1:01:26
I don't know. I'm just thinking he's probably like, is he at work right now? Look, let me but let's make sure I understand this. He's not at a bar face down. Is he right now? He's getting ready to go to work. No, he's asleep and beard. But is he gonna go to work?

Sabena 1:01:41
Eventually, yeah, it's only 530. I know.

Scott Benner 1:01:43
But he'll he'll you're fighting me on this Sabine. I'm not sure why he's gonna go to work and make money and come home and all that stuff, right.

Sabena 1:01:50
He sure is gonna go to work and make money and come home.

Scott Benner 1:01:54
Maybe sometimes. I think that's how men show love to.

Sabena 1:01:59
Yes, I think you're very

Scott Benner 1:02:00
right. Right, Sabina. Look at me. No, I

Sabena 1:02:03
really think you're right. I just, if you ask anyone in my family, I'm not good at admitting when I'm wrong.

Scott Benner 1:02:09
Oh, well, that's fine. You don't have to we're not here to fix everything. So also, I think in a not for nothing situation, you have just had a baby, and you're still breastfeeding it. And you're probably as far away from feeling romantic at this moment. As a person could be. Am I right about that? Absolutely. Right. He looks better when you're corny. Right, Sabina?

Sabena 1:02:37
No, because it just gets us more kids.

Scott Benner 1:02:41
There's ways to do without kids, you know? Do you need me to explain them to you? Or do you? Do you know that?

Sabena 1:02:48
I think I think I've gotten

Scott Benner 1:02:52
all right, because I mean, I'll go over them with you if you want. But I'm gonna have to bleep out a lot. There's ways Yeah, I mean, there's tons of ways around it, actually. How long have you guys been together?

Sabena 1:03:08
I'm, like, 17 years. 14.

Scott Benner 1:03:12
Just sick of him. I understand. Now I just understand now you're just sick of each other? How old? Are you?

Sabena 1:03:21

So maybe it's even time maybe it's like 15 years? That's 18. Yeah, that

Scott Benner 1:03:29
seems like a long time. It is a long time. They say if you can make it past 20, you'll be okay.

Sabena 1:03:37
We go. I think also when you have diabetes in your life, it does take away from being able to do other things and send a light in terms of checking at night and doing site changes at night. And we've had a really hard winter in New Zealand where there was so much sickness, and both of my kids have pretty much been sick for like three months.

Scott Benner 1:04:05
How cold does it get there in the winter?

Sabena 1:04:08
Oh, it's not super cold. It's just that there's that whole theory that we were in lockdown with COVID and so we haven't really had sicknesses for the last couple of years because we were quite lucky. We did a lot of lock downs and didn't didn't have COVID the way America had COVID I don't think

Scott Benner 1:04:30
I've never had COVID I'm bragging

Sabena 1:04:32
I've I've had COVID But I was fully vaccinated. It was the most recent recent strain

Scott Benner 1:04:39
Okay, so kind of a light cold went away in a couple days.

Sabena 1:04:44
Yeah, it wasn't too bad but who's to say like, weapons now? Next and options played and stuff. Do

Scott Benner 1:04:51
you think it do you think it rewired your brain into thinking that some people love people more than other people?

Sabena 1:04:58
Maybe Do you think that's what Big Pharma want to be your thing?

Scott Benner 1:05:02
I think if your husband had boobs, we wouldn't be having this conversation. What do you think of that? You just be like, boobs make me happy. And that'd be the end of it. And that's what happens to me. I can't. There's nothing you could say to me that you couldn't fix with with Kelly's boobs. I can't even think of anything. I mean, like World War, I still think well, if we're gonna die soon. We should probably say those boobs well. I don't know. Just make sense to me. But that's fine. Yep. Isn't it interesting, Sabina? I must be crazy for you. I'm actually a boy. And I have all these feelings that you don't attribute with men.

Sabena 1:05:47
You do. I think you're a unicorn, though.

Scott Benner 1:05:49
You think so?

Sabena 1:05:51
I think so. I work. My boss is also male. And he's a unicorn too. He often cries at work.

Scott Benner 1:06:00
You're sure he's sure he likes girls. The whole thing?

Sabena 1:06:04
It was quite excited about the fire. I mean, coming to visit us the other day. So maybe, you know, boats?

Scott Benner 1:06:11
Oh, I don't mind. I'm just saying like I was I was trying to make the point that I'm incredibly heterosexual. And at the same time, I have. I have a lot of what I think most people would attribute as like, feminine feelings and thoughts.

Sabena 1:06:29
I think it's more you just a conscious you have consciousness?

Scott Benner 1:06:32
Maybe? I don't know. Boobs are terrific. We start talking about it. I'll get lost in it. I really will. I got theories about all kinds of things. Seriously, when we're done here, if you want I can tell you what's great about boobs can probably give you like a 10 minutes a little way about them.

Sabena 1:06:52
I think my toddler could tell you what was great about Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:06:55
it's mostly Sabina. It's mostly the it's mostly the weight of them.

Sabena 1:07:05
Say she would say the milk. It's about the milk. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:07:08
don't have that experience. So I don't know what to say there. Also, she can't talk. We have no idea what she would say. What if she said I don't know. It's the weight. I love the weight of them.

Sabena 1:07:19
I think she says the milk, milky glitter in the face.

Scott Benner 1:07:25
So do you think you'll have more kids?

Sabena 1:07:28
Um, I don't know what's really scary to think that I'd have to do the diabetes again. You know, I don't know if there's other people that feel like that. I mean,

Scott Benner 1:07:39
diabetes stopped us the two kids. So I understand.

Sabena 1:07:45
Because it's just like now we're at this point with Joey, where it's not a big deal. But it was really heartbreaking having to train his body to hold all that trauma and all those needles and all of that stuff.

Scott Benner 1:07:59
Ya know, especially for the way you were planning on raising him, it must have been tough for you to to kind of have to feel like you were giving up on your idea before you ever got it started. Really?

Sabena 1:08:10
Yeah, like a girl that I worked with. She said it first when I said I think Jody has diabetes, everyone laughed at me and said, You're crazy. And then after it, she said, You're the worst person to do this. Because it's really hard for me to be firm. I'm always trying to find like a way around or like a compromise, but you can't compromise with insulin, injections and stuff. Do you

Scott Benner 1:08:37
know why that is? Are you were you raised by somebody who was kind of firm and you didn't like it?

Sabena 1:08:44
Um, I don't know. I think it's just like, in my job, we do a lot of like woowoo stuff in our training, we do lots of reflection and just thinking about the main thing comes from how you would want to be treated. And when you start thinking, even the way people view children and how they speak to them or don't speak to them. Being able to have empathy and put yourself in someone else's shoes, it automatically shifts the way you would do something.

Scott Benner 1:09:15
Well, let me ask you this. If you had diabetes, and you weren't able to help yourself with it, would you not find it loving for someone to help you?

Sabena 1:09:24
Absolutely. I am. There's a lady that I listened to her podcast. She's a parenting person. Her name is Janet Lansbury. And she actually had a podcast about diabetes. I couldn't believe it. And she gave me some language and the language mainly helped me I would say, Joey, Mommy has to take the best care of your body. I have to keep you healthy and just having a little mantra like that. When I did it to him, helped me and then it helped him.

Scott Benner 1:09:52
It's good. That's excellent. Yeah, I listen, I agree with you about the way children are treated or not treated and And that, you know, your goals. I think your goals are terrific. I just don't think you having to take care of the diabetes means you're not being empathetic.

Sabena 1:10:09
I think it was just that for a little while. I he couldn't comprehend why I was inflicting pain on him. Yeah. And at what pain and he wasn't really really sick. When he got diagnosed, we knew that we knew the signs and we got him tested. Like we checked in his HP once he was only like eight.

Scott Benner 1:10:31
But you knew because your husband's family? Yeah,

Sabena 1:10:34
we saw the like frequent urination. And that was probably the only thing that we saw.

Scott Benner 1:10:41
Is there any other autoimmune stuff and either side of the family

Sabena 1:10:46
has sister that's type one is also gluten, celiac, but nothing else.

Scott Benner 1:10:52
Okay, no thyroid stuff. No. Yeah, well, are you gonna get your daughter tested to see if she has antibodies?

Sabena 1:11:04
The doctor said that actually, we don't have a right to test her because she can't consent to it.

Scott Benner 1:11:14
That's hilarious. Does she have consent that anything happens to her?

Sabena 1:11:18
Well, it was just like, it's a medical decision, but they won't lead us to stew.

Scott Benner 1:11:25
All right now might be a weird Island thing.

Sabena 1:11:29
I think it was a we got a really bad doctor. He was very weird.

Scott Benner 1:11:33
Okay, yeah. Try it again. That doesn't make sense. Like what do you mean? Like your kids can't consent anything there? He's she's a year old.

Sabena 1:11:43
Right? Well, he, he said that these like ethical ramifications and blah, blah, blah. But I just thought but what if she gets sick? And we could prevent, like the dka sickness?

Scott Benner 1:11:56
Well, that sounds like bullshit, Sabina what he said. So I'd go to a different doctor and ask again, if that's what you want to do. You know what I mean? What ethical problems are there?

Sabena 1:12:08
Oh, he just said that. It's not my decision. And what if she doesn't want to know? What

Scott Benner 1:12:16
was he? Hi, when he said that?

Sabena 1:12:21
I think he was one of those doctors that it was really intelligent, but not emotionally intelligent.

Scott Benner 1:12:28
He looked like he was on a pill or anything like that. Maybe just taking a little pain pill. Like to get through the day? Anything? No.

Sabena 1:12:35
You never know. Yeah, even though

Scott Benner 1:12:37
just maybe an oxy. Just one. Just to I have to take away the takeaway how long the day feels or something? He didn't look a little glassy eyed or anything like that. I mean, listen, can I say something, Sabina? I mean this in the absolute worst? Possible sense of the word. But that's some woke bullshit right there.

Sabena 1:13:01
But we've just we've got a new doctor, and I will ask the new doctor. Yeah, but even they they don't want me correcting even now. They're like, they don't really want me correcting until he's 14. Like, I don't know what that is for you.

Scott Benner 1:13:15
I will look for you. Because I have on my website, juicebox podcast.com, a beautiful conversion chart where people can use it. I hear, you know, people send me notes something and they're like, hey, when you're making the podcast and somebody says, you know, one measurement, could you then repeat that measurement? In the other for us? Listen, and I hear that I go, Oh, no, I can't do that. That's I mean, the whole podcast would just be me doing like, you know, translations. A 14 is 250. They don't want you. They don't want you correct until 250. No,

Sabena 1:13:55
I just don't listen to them. Yeah, well,

Scott Benner 1:13:57
listen, I can't imagine you're listening to anybody.

Sabena 1:14:04
It's a little bit true. Now. I need to go do some work on myself. So no,

Scott Benner 1:14:08
no, no. I feel like yes, I mean, is the marching to the beat of her own drum over here. You've never told your husband that you think he loves the children less than you have you? I'm not sure. Oh, God, Sabina, have you said that to him? Maybe. No, you can't do that. That's not okay. You can't do that. There's like a few things you can't do. One of them is infer that his penis might be small. You can't say that. Okay, you can't. I knew that one. Yeah, you can't tell him like that. He might not love the kids as much as you. That's definitely what you can't do. And I don't think he's supposed to say anything bad about his mother.

Sabena 1:14:55
Oh, I do that. Oh, no, I am gonna get divorced.

Scott Benner 1:15:00
So when we get a few things you're not supposed to do your your mom's crazy not doing the first one. So wait the penis one. Was that during the penis? Was that it? Was that a humble brag about your husband's penis?

Sabena 1:15:18
Yeah, I'll put that in there a mason brownie.

Scott Benner 1:15:24
Well, then I take everything else back. He doesn't care what you say about his mom, if he's got a nice sized penis, he's okay. That used to be you know, what else are you doing that you need my help with? Me? Should we take a couple extra minutes? I thought we were at the end but I mean, do you need help with anything else? You're locking the doors? are you locking the doors at night? Right when you go to bed? Oh my god this morning. And the front door was unlocked have been Come on. You I haven't

Sabena 1:15:56
put them let's okay. She tells someone

Scott Benner 1:16:00
to make a list of things you're supposed to do.

Sabena 1:16:02
When you're done doesn't sound like I'm adulting very well does it when

Scott Benner 1:16:06
you're done at the stove. You turn the heat off all the time. Yes, I got that one down. That's good. You don't leave children near like bodies of water.

Sabena 1:16:15
Not my children's. The new year how much I love my children.

Scott Benner 1:16:19
Those kids. Nothing bad's happening to them all day. Okay, we do we drink and drive. We don't drink and drive. Right? These are simple ones.

Sabena 1:16:27
No, we do not drink and drive. That's nice. Great.

Scott Benner 1:16:35
What else to say? Like I now wonder what it is? You don't know. You don't even need to be worried for me. I mean, a little bit. Yeah. Especially now because it's early in the morning. And you're obviously sleep deprived, where you wouldn't have said half the thing. By the way. Everyone has to come on at four in the morning from now on, because they're way more honest at four in the morning.

Sabena 1:16:56
I'm always sleep deprived though. So that's neither here nor there.

Scott Benner 1:17:00
I just want to say legally if you email me later and say that you don't want me to air this. I don't have to listen to you. But, I mean, I would but please don't. Please don't change your mind about this. Fantastic.

Sabena 1:17:17
All right. No, I think this might convert my husband to listening to the podcast. Yeah, it's okay.

Scott Benner 1:17:23
Yeah, Jesus while him and his big penis. What's he worried about? How big is it? Is it like, is it just satisfying? Or is it like do you look at it and like have to take a minute to get ready. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

Sabena 1:17:41
It was just write

Scott Benner 1:17:43
perfect. Everything else about him socks, but that penis works. Really makes really cute kid. So you realize that inadvertently you've given a bad message to men just now. Right? Like, do you know what the message is here? Doesn't matter what they don't do? As long as they can lay it down when you need it. That's what you basically just said like, Look, you don't want to love the kids. Whatever. You don't want to take care of diabetes. I got it. Want to live in a house with the door unlocked? Nobody checks. It's no big deal. But when Mama wants her mama wants her happy. You just get over here. Everything else will be fine.

Sabena 1:18:34
I also have to have a job. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:18:36
Oh, please. That goes without saying sabina I didn't think that you were gonna let the penis anywhere near you without money and you girls that are having sex with guys that don't have any money. What are you doing? What are you doing? Jesus nature gave you all the things you need to be happy we have to change the name of the podcast the mama wants her happy by the way

Yeah, I very strongly believe that's gonna be the title. Yeah, cuz mama wants her happy is hilarious. And it won't come till the end and they'll have to listen all the way to the end to find out what it means. And by the way, this is an after dark now

Well, this was an unexpected treat for me today, Sabina. I hope you enjoyed it as well. If you didn't, I mean, I don't care honestly. I had a great time so but, but I really do appreciate you doing this. Is there anything we didn't talk about that you wanted to?

Sabena 1:19:45
Um, the only thing that I tell everyone newly diagnosed is usual ELO four finger pricks. It sounds really minut but there's no nerve endings in your ear lobe the way there is in your fingers.

Scott Benner 1:20:00
Hmm, that's a good one and heels. Do people use heels and toes but I don't know they they have nerve endings, though. But you're saying there's no nerve endings in your ear lobes.

Sabena 1:20:10
Always least like because it's just a piece of fit.

Scott Benner 1:20:13
Okay. Well, everything we've talked about today has been a piece of fat, but I understand what you're saying. It's always, I've never tested anyone's here low, but I take your word for it.

Sabena 1:20:25
Yeah, it's much easier and especially with little kids. They can't actually see what you're doing in terms of like the blood because it's on the yellow.

Scott Benner 1:20:34
Okay. I got you. I'm with you. That was it. By the way. Is there anything we talked about that you meant to talk about? The campy right? We didn't say anything you wanted to talk about? Right?

Sabena 1:20:46
No, but I got my free therapy session with you. And maybe I won't get divorced because I was such a

Scott Benner 1:20:53
never said that. I never said I didn't infer that. I don't I don't mean I don't think that. I'm just saying. Men and women see things differently. And often they don't see each other side is all I'm saying.

Sabena 1:21:08
And maybe I should bring my husband and kids as much as I do.

Scott Benner 1:21:19
Just tell him get your big penis over here and hug these kids. Really bad. Yeah, I'm gonna edit that out All right, hold on one second. I'm gonna stop the recording. But first I have to leave a note for myself. Definitely call this when Mama wants her happy. Okay, hold on. I'm gonna hit stop.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox you spell that GVOKEGLUC AG o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. I'd also like to thank touched by type one remind you to go to touch by type one.org get those tickets for dancing for diabetes. And of course, Omni pod makers of the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash head right now to Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox Get started today. You won't regret it.

If you enjoy this after dark episodes, there are plenty more where this one came from. Go into your podcast app and search Juicebox Podcast after dark. You'll see a ton of them. Honestly, there's a bunch there. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.