#745 Midnight Gnocchi

Margaret has type 1 diabetes and she can can dance.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 745 of the Juicebox Podcast

you will never know just how close this episode came to being called Yukon s shaker. On today's program, I'll be speaking with Margaret, she has type one diabetes. And that's pretty much what you need to know. I don't even know why I bother doing this at the beginning. Just listen to the episode. It's great. Trust me. While you're trusting me, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. See, I'm still it's not too late for me to change the name. Don't know how to put that. I don't know if I can put asked in the title. Or if Apple will kick it out. Dammit. The second title is great, too. But you can't have a shaker. You have no idea. All right. It's probably called Nokia at midnight, but in my heart, you know what I mean? Oh, T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box fill out the survey. Thanks.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor. Learn more@dexcom.com forward slash juice box. And while you're there, see if you're eligible for a free 10 day trial of the Dexcom G six. Speaking of free trials, you may be eligible for a free trial of the Omni pod dash a 30 day trial actually, go check it out at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box not looking for the Omni pod dash. You want something a little more automatic, like the Omni pod five. That's it the link as well. omnipod.com forward slash juicebox.

Margaret 2:11
Hey, I'm Margaret. I am a musical theater performer and actor. I live in Canada and I was diagnosed with type one diabetes three years ago at the age of 27.

Scott Benner 2:24
There are fine arts in Canada.

Margaret 2:27
Yeah, they're you know, it's not like it's Broadway. But yes, there are fine arts in Canada.

Scott Benner 2:33
You know, I said that because there's one person I have in mind that will be bothered by that statement. I said it just for them. So the refiners in Canada? How old are you? 30 How old? Were you when you're diagnosed?

Margaret 2:47
27 Oh, recently? Yes, yes, it is recently.

Scott Benner 2:51
Yes. And I don't get many of these. Your age is like, I don't get many diagnosed late 20s. Still kind of in it. Oh, this will be fun. Good. And I think you all should be questioning yourself about a podcast where the host says this will be fun after a person says they were given an incurable disease three years. Great. This will be fun. So how did you Well, wait, no, what am I going to ask you? Is there any? Are there any other autoimmune issues in your family?

Margaret 3:24
It's so funny, because I thought the answer was no. When I like when I was first diagnosed, they're like, Do you have anyone else who has diabetes? And I was like, no, no, this is very weird. And but my grandfather had celiac disease, but he was diagnosed at like 75 and was really, really bitter about it the whole time. So he's the only one with autoimmune diseases.

Scott Benner 3:49
Okay, hold on a second. Your 75 year old grandfather was diagnosed with celiac and it pissed them off.

Margaret 3:54
Oh, he was furious. And like, my my mom is really they have a have they had a funny relationship. Like he really likes to get kind of be like, this isn't good enough. And she really wanted to make things nice for him. So she would try and make all these like, family desserts without any gluten and he would be like, where's the up like, where's the other desert? That's impossible to make without gluten. So it was like, kind of a I think it was mostly a joke. Like I think he thought it was funny to be like, Rob, I hate celiac disease. But yeah, it really pissed him off.

Scott Benner 4:26
Make me bread that tastes like bread. Dammit. Do it now. Yeah, like

Margaret 4:30
bread like he was he was he's like figured it out. But yeah, he was he would get mad thing. Oh to Italian. He'd be like, what's it like?

Scott Benner 4:36
What's the point of this? Do you think I'm the only one excited to get old so that I can be like that? Oh,

Margaret 4:42
I think it'll be awesome. Like, he was so cool. We went on a family trip. And he we went like we went to Greece and we went up the Acropolis and we were he was like, kind of walking around and we asked him what his favorite part was. And he was like, walking through other people's pictures and ruining them. And he was so like, he was like old. He's almost windy. So everyone was just like, oh, this man is tottering around and he's no, he's walking through their pictures on purpose to ruin the pictures.

Scott Benner 5:11
It's the nicest story I've ever heard in my life. That's wonderful. Excellent. So you realize that that's an autoimmune issue. You have one now, but you were saying when the doctor asked you, I don't know. Anybody else has diabetes in my family. Yeah. Okay. Can you tell me a little bit about what led you to go to a doctor?

Margaret 5:30
Yeah, it was kind of like, it's a little bit of a two parter story. Like I went to the doctor when I got diagnosed for like, a physical like, I went to get a pap smear. And, and but I was having I had been having like, long distance vision stuff. And I had gone to the doctor, and they were like, are the eye doctor and they're like, you're watching too much TV. It's fine. And I was like, yep, that checks out. Great. I'm watching too much TV. And, and then I went to my family doctor who's really awesome. And he was like, that seems weird. Let's just like, you know, let's just do some bloodwork. Just for kicks, let's let's do it. Let's see if there's anything going on. And then he called me the next day and was like, Hey, I'm the lab technician called me in the middle of the night, your blood sugar is 38. And I was like, I looked it up for conversion purposes. It's like 684. And he was like, Do you have any symptoms of diabetes? And I was like, Man, I don't think so.

Scott Benner 6:28
anymore. Is that Yeah,

Margaret 6:30
like, seems weird. And he was like, Well, you know, go and get your blood sugar tested again. It might have just been a fluke, get your agency tested, and we'll see. And, and then I was he kind of told me what the symptoms were. And then I thought about it and was like, you know, yeah, like, I have been drinking a lot of water. But there's a ret radiator right next to my bed and my, it makes my house really hot and dry. So it's just really hot and dry. And I have been peeing a lot. But, you know, I've been drinking a lot of water. So I've been peeing a lot. And I also like, hadn't been feeling great. But I had a really just a really not great year, the year before leading up to diabetes, like I had a friend pass away and a really bad apartment fire. And I was working out of town while these things were happening. So I just like didn't have a ton of time to process any of that. So it just kind of left me with like, a lingering in the background not feeling great. So I was just like, Yeah, I'm not feeling great, but like this year was really terrible. So anyway, but I called the doctor back and was like, I have been having some symptoms. And he was like, you know, maybe just like, go to the hospital and see if they'll give you insulin and then you can just leave and I was like, Okay, that seems like a reasonable plan. And then I will

Scott Benner 7:53
slow down with hindsight. You look back on that. You're like, what am I right? Like, maybe a little bit yeah, okay. Yeah. And you're talking to a real doctor right? Not like and I don't mean to be ham fisted about this, but like a polar bear with a phone or something like that. Like you're in Canada. I don't know what part are, you know,

Margaret 8:10
he's a great doctor. He was a like, has been a lovely Doctor throughout the years. But yeah, retrospectively, I'm not going to get not very good advice.

Scott Benner 8:20
Are you telling me that back before you were sick? He was a great doctor. And then when you needed an actual help, he got shaky.

Margaret 8:27
No, I don't even think that it was that I think he just thought it was so weird. Because it was such a high blood sugar to be not having really intense symptoms. That I think he was like, he didn't I don't think he thought that that was really what was going on. Like I think there was still a part of his mind. That was like your, we're going to test you again. And that's going to be a mistake and you won't have diabetes. You are, by the

Scott Benner 8:51
way are so lovely and Canadian. We've only been talking for eight minutes. If I tried for the next hour and a half. You would not say anything bad about that person. That's amazing. It's just it's like you're Midwestern. But without that accent were you because Why are you not following an on party candidate? Are you in ish?

Margaret 9:07
Um, Toronto? I'm sure I will. I'll give you I'll give you an A I'm sure. I say all the time.

Scott Benner 9:14
You put the R in Toronto, so I was pretty uplifted by that. Well, I'm glad I'm glad to give service this morning. But you know, it's t o r. But yes, a lot of you want to say T are like on toe Yes. Toronto like that. Yeah, don't worry. I mispronounced every word. And here I am like I'm aware of it when other people do it but when I do it I'm like I don't hear it. Water hilarious. So okay, so well meaning doctor sends you to the to the to the hospital. You get there and

Margaret 9:45
yeah, I got there I sent me emergencies and he also again not that I'm thinking about it. I'm like this was weird advice. But he was like, just don't any eat any foods that are high on the GI index and I was like okay, so My roommate came with me and we brought a bunch of like almonds and apples. And it was just sort of depressing. Like, we were just there's like a vending machine and we couldn't eat any chips. I was like, this sucks. And then

Scott Benner 10:13
we realized, you know, the glycemic index before you had diabetes? No, I googled it and was like, um, I think that's just right. Like, I don't really Canadian Internet had all that information.

Margaret 10:24
I mean, yes. I mean, it's the same internet. I mean, I don't know maybe it's not it only ever used Canadian internal Margaret,

Scott Benner 10:31
this is gonna be so much fun. You're not hearing my sarcasm either. We're gonna have such a good time. Okay. All right. Okay. So you're, oh, my gosh. So you're at the hospital eating your bird food, and what happened? Sorry.

Margaret 10:46
And then I got my blood sugar tested again. And there was a lot of like, I think they were confused, because I'm an adult, obviously. And, but I'm like, quite tall and quite thin. So you know, stereotypically I don't present as somebody with type two. But then when they tested my blood sugar, it had come down to about a 15. So they were like, you don't need to be here at first, like, that's a totally reasonable number for someone with diabetes. And I was like, No, I don't have diabetes. And they were like, oh, but you have diabetes. And then they admitted me, I think, just to kind of like, get my blood sugar lower and did some sort of, like, brought you sort of pamphlets and stuff to explain what's going on. And I think the reason I was in there for five days was that they couldn't figure out what my doses were, I think their expectation was, they would give me insulin, and it would go way down, but that just it just sort of didn't stabilize for a while. Yeah, it was weird. I had some people who were very, very lovely. And you kind of had a variety of doctors throughout the time, and some of them were so lovely. And we're kind of like you, this isn't gonna change your life, you're going to be totally fine. Like, this is just gonna be something you have to manage. And then I had a couple other people like this one man came in, and I was only eating the hospital food. And he was like, you really got to bring your blood sugar down. And I was like, Okay. How would you suggest I go about doing that? And he was like, well stop eating so much pizza and ice cream. And I was like, I've only eaten your sandwiches. And then obviously, I started to cry. And he got so uncomfortable and was just like, Oh, I didn't mean but yeah, it was it was like a mixed. It was a mixed bag for sure.

Scott Benner 12:46
He wasn't a hospital employee. He was a nurse. Yeah. Oh, and he just led with stop eating pizza and ice cream. But you weren't eating pizza and ice cream.

Margaret 12:55
No and annoyingly leading up like the month before I was diagnosed, I was doing my friend and I decided we were going to do like a really healthy month and like cut out all sorts of sugar and stuff. So I had been eating like, not good food, like like salads all month. And so I was so mad cuz it was like, I haven't I haven't eaten any treats. In a really long time. This is so annoying.

Scott Benner 13:23
Plus, you don't understand sarcasm and you're lovely. So people should not be picking on you. You don't I mean?

Margaret 13:29
Yes. I mean also it was kind of awesome. Like I I wrote a note down in my phone of all the crazy things people said because it just I also had it was just so funny. Like it was like you're saying like, I had one nurse who just said some wild things like she, what did she say she at one point, she was like, I dated someone with diabetes, and they had a heart attack at 45. And I was like, why are you telling me this? Like, so crazy.

Scott Benner 13:55
Hey, you're not doing much for the Canadian healthcare system?

Margaret 14:00
Or yeah, I guess not. I was like, by experience was great. And I'm thinking about it like that. Was this happen

Scott Benner 14:05
right there in Toronto? Yep. In Toronto. Oh, I see. Okay, so not up in the hinterland or anything like that. No, you weren't in let me let me test my knowledge. The Yukon that's a place in Canada, right?

Margaret 14:22
No, sorry. I was not in the Yukon. It was not in the Yukon but actually. I brief I have lived there I worked there I was a can can dancer there for five months.

Scott Benner 14:34
Whoa, okay. Everyone's slow down. First of all, we just skipped over the fact that I think I was right that the Yukons in Canada. All right. Yeah. Yukon is in Canada. I want some credit for that. And then the second thing is Kent Kent camp, like kick dancing like guns.

Margaret 14:51
Yeah, like like jump and kick and toss your skirt around in a bar in a casino, which isn't better.

Scott Benner 14:59
Isn't better. There's so there's a casino in the Yukon.

Margaret 15:05
Yeah, it's actually the oldest casino definitely in Canada. I think maybe in North America. Definitely in Canada.

Scott Benner 15:13
How do you get the whale blubber into the slot on the slot machine to play?

Margaret 15:18
You have to push it really hard and it makes a big mess. So okay,

Scott Benner 15:21
you so when you were younger, I'm guessing. Yes. You you went to the Yukon edge? I mean, we can just say shook your ass, right? Like for for people basically. Yeah. And how long did you do that for?

Margaret 15:36
Five months?

Scott Benner 15:37
Can I be honest with you? I wish that my ass was such that someone would be interested to look at it if it was shaking. But I have a very, very flat butt. So I don't think this is gonna happen. You know, when you look at

Margaret 15:53
it, just like I was. I don't know. Like mostly, but particularly No, it was also on the flat side realistically at the time.

Scott Benner 16:00
You also said you were tall. Now I'm challenging you how tall were you? Are you

Margaret 16:05
five foot nine?

Scott Benner 16:06
Oh, you're tall. Good for you? Yeah, heights. No. Yeah. All right. You said thank you. You're like, Yes, I am tall. Thank you.

Margaret 16:12
I am indeed. And I did it all myself

Scott Benner 16:14
by myself. I made it happen from a young age. I decided I was gonna be tall. And I worked hard at it. Okay, what did you go to? Did you go to college? Yeah. For what?

Margaret 16:27
Musical Theater? Okay.

Scott Benner 16:29
And interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, so now you have diabetes. We've gotten through the the sketchy medical advice, which you won't call sketchy medical advice. But any doctor who's like, I'm not sure if you have diabetes, but go to the hospital. Maybe they'll give you insulin. Trust me. That's dodgy advice. And so and you get there, they do the testing. I imagine they say congratulations. You have diabetes, you meet mean nurses? Who are probably well meaning but not great at communicating? What Yes, what state of mind? Do you leave the hospital in?

Margaret 17:03
Um, honestly, like I, I have a friend who has type one. And we were friends before I was diagnosed. And he's also in musical theater. And we had worked together and we were the kind of friends were like, We got along really well. But we weren't super close. So I didn't, I knew he had type one. And I knew he was didn't it didn't really affect his life, as he presented himself other than he talked about it. So and he had an omni pod. And so in my mind, I was like, oh my god, this is like this is he's, this is not a big deal at first. Because I like when I was first in the hospital. And because I was like, Oh, just get an AMI paddle, stick it on my arm and then like be this will be awesome. And and then they started explaining carb counting and everything to me. And I was like, what, like, he's been doing this this whole time. This is insane. Like, this is so much work. But that was really helpful. Because I had somebody who was I knew and they just did everything that I wanted to do. And also, this is a bit weird. But I've been I've like somebody who kind of my whole life has been a hypochondriac and not in like a cute fun way. Like you know, you're really convinced you're dying and it kind of ruins your life. Oh, Margaret

Scott Benner 18:37
home what time? What would a cute fun, wavy?

Margaret 18:41
Oh, no, like a Woody Allen way where he's like, Oh, I'm so nervous about this thing. Like, I think I have a stomach ache or whatever. Like it got to me like a charming way

Scott Benner 18:50
you're on the floor like this is it? It's over?

Margaret 18:53
Yeah, like 100% I'm convinced I'm dying. And. And so I had, and I've also like, had a very nice life like my parents. Up until that point, things have gone pretty well. And I think the combination of those things kind of made me have this sense of the back of my mind that was like, well, if something horrible is going to happen at some point, like this just can't, this is something's going to happen. And probably I'm going to be diagnosed with cancer and I'm going to die. And so it it just never crossed my mind that I could be diagnosed with something and it could be manageable. You know what I mean? Like it would just you'd get something and it would be you just deal with it. And so I think my initial reaction was kind of like oh my god like this is I'm not I just have to give myself needles and like this is so manageable, this is not This is fine, like this is best case scenario in terms of being diagnosed with something you and I

Scott Benner 19:51
have more in common than I thought at first. So I I used to set these arbitrary like I had Oh, no. Ages in my head, like, you know what I mean? Like, if I make it to 21 without this happening, that'll probably never happen. If I get 30 Without getting, you know, something that'll probably never happen, like, I don't know why. And it wasn't, it's not like a real prevalent in the front of my mind kind of way of thinking. It's not obsessive or anything weird like that, but it is, like, I have, like, tucked myself into believing based on what I see around me, like, you know, my friends in their 40s You know, who were going to have heart attacks had them, you know, by the time they were like this age, so if I make it this far, that probably is good news from my heart. You have a lot of that in your head. Hmm. But yeah, totally. And so. But you had the wherewithal to say, this is all been going to easy, something's got to happen.

Margaret 20:49
Yes. 100%. That's really interesting, by the way,

Scott Benner 20:52
I agree with you. I don't think anybody gets through this unscathed. You know?

Margaret 20:57
Yeah, I mean, the thing is it like it did happen, right. But this is still kind of like, well, this is in terms of the things that could happen to you. This really isn't the worst one, that's for sure.

Scott Benner 21:08
No, no, I agree with you. I really do. What, how do you make a living? Like, what do you do day to day?

Margaret 21:17
That's a great question. Um, before the pandemic, I was a musical theater, actor and performer. So I would, I have a dance background, like I did competitive dance growing up. So I would do musicals, basically, to make money. And then once the pandemic hit, all my contracts obviously got canceled because you can't gather with people have so since then, I've been doing a little bit of like film and TV stuff, and then working. I worked at a bakery for a while. And then now I'm working at a barbecue restaurant and an antique store.

Scott Benner 21:56
Oh, okay. Do you think you'll get back to the performing thing?

Margaret 22:00
Yeah, that's the plan. It's starting to open up a bit. And hopefully once we just don't you know, sir, that's my blood sugar. Oh, girl. Um, is that low? That's high. Yeah. What do you call it? High? 8.9. So like, one 161 60. Yeah.

Scott Benner 22:29
Do you know how to figure that out so quickly? Margaret,

Margaret 22:31
do you have a converter on the Juicebox Podcast website?

Scott Benner 22:35
I do. Is it juicebox podcast.com. Forward slash conversion. Margaret. Good job. Thank you. I'm considering calling this episode Yukon as shaker.

Margaret 22:49
Oh my god. I mean, that would be I would sound way cooler than I am. So that would be sick. And only tell everyone I don't

Scott Benner 22:55
think I can use the word ask the title I'm gonna have to go with but and you're a former wouldn't be funny if it was UConn but shaker and then in parentheses, former after former, like, well, not as good but close. Well, listen, that bakery closes down. And you might I mean, I gotta go back. You might be up there. Yeah. You understand that? In my mind? You were dancing for like, gold miners, right?

Margaret 23:20
You're gonna be thrilled because that was sometimes the case. Really? Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:24
I am thrilled. How did you know? I'd be thrilled. That's amazing.

Margaret 23:29
Yeah, it was like it was there was kind of a tourist season. So sometimes it would be older people who went on cruises, and then sometimes it would be sort of forest fires, forest firefighters and miners, which was a weird contrast for sure.

Scott Benner 23:44
But yeah, please tell me that at least once in your life, a toothless man with a scraggly beard through a nugget of gold at you and said shake that thing, honey.

Margaret 23:53
Oh, I wish it was that. It was mostly just people not quite like that intensely rugged looking. But they didn't have gold nuggets. They just they had like casino chips. But we did get casino chips thrown at the stage.

Scott Benner 24:08
That's the meaning. But I I'm sorry. I didn't realize as I said it. I was like, Oh, that's a hard if you but you were probably like, throw the chip like you need the chips. Right? You're like, come on.

Margaret 24:19
I mean, it was a little weird. Not weird, but like, I mean, yes. The answer is yes. We didn't get to keep them. So that was annoying. They had to go in like a pot for everybody. But it was a little bit strange. Like I it it. It did kind of you felt like you were a stripper and I was like, this is interesting. Like I didn't intend to be a stripper and now I get to kind of see what this feels like and do I like it or not?

Scott Benner 24:46
What was the answer to that question, Margaret?

Margaret 24:47
I think it was no, okay. Um, I think sometimes it was valid, validating sometimes I was like, Yeah, I am so hot that you're throwing your chips at me. And then other times It was like, this feels a little I don't feel I feel kind of degraded.

Scott Benner 25:03
It's possible my grandfather would not be okay with this. Yeah, he would be like, I don't know what he would say, well, he just walking in between the dancing and the chipping and just wander around like he was lost. I would imagine I get in

Margaret 25:14
people's photographs be like, where's the gluten free bread?

Scott Benner 25:18
That's it. By the way, I find all this very interesting. I hope other people do too. Okay, so it wasn't as easy as putting it on the pot on your arm. But did you get an insulin pump?

Margaret 25:31
I don't have an insulin pump yet. No.

Scott Benner 25:33
Okay, so what How's management been going? Are you wearing a CGM? Yeah, obviously, you are we heard a beeping. And it's beeping. So you're using Dexcom.

Margaret 25:43
I'm not using Dexcom. The I don't have private insurance. So I do my insurance through the there's like a Canadian government program that lets you get prescriptions and right now they cover the libre sensors, but they don't cover the Dexcom which is very annoying. So I've bought one of the like a meow meow like thing that you stick on top of your libre and turn it into a CGM.

Scott Benner 26:10
Gotcha. So you have libre. And then there's this like third party thing you kind of put on it that gives you more access to real time stuff. Yeah,

Margaret 26:19
it gives you alerts and alarms basically. And and it's the graph style is kind of the same of the ducks as the Dexcom. Like it's little dots. Whereas the Libra is just an arrow and an eye the dots are it's so helpful.

Scott Benner 26:31
Yeah, okay. Okay. So it's, um, right to say it's a third party thing though, right? It's like from a private company. Okay. Yeah. All right. And you're doing that with MDI. So yeah, how's that going? Like, where's your where's your care at? Are you trying to make adjustments or are you good with yourself like, where yet

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Margaret 31:31
Podcast would say I'm pretty unhappy with my I don't know I'd say like I'm solidly intermediate level I want to get a pump. I honeymooned I'm pretty sure for about two years. So there I didn't have a lot of the background fluctuations that I have now just with like period hormones. And that in protein rises like that just didn't come into play. So it was it was I was low more than I wanted to be. But it was pretty chill. Like I had an agency in the in the fives consistently. But now that that's ended, it's just a it's my last day when she was six. So I'm happy with that. But it's more work than I think it needs to be.

Scott Benner 32:17
I say, so. Are you listening? Have you been listening to podcasts for long? Yeah, yeah, I do. Listen, so you're bumping and nudging, and you're too involved? You're saying?

Margaret 32:27
Yeah, it's just I feel like I'm having to adjust a lot and, and I ended up playing catch up a lot. Because I want to be able to just, I find that I'm more insulin resistant, is sort of when I'm ovulating and then more insulin sensitive by kind of a lot when I'm on my period. And but I haven't tracked it. So I don't have like a precise knowledge of when that starts and when it ends. So I'm I'll give myself my Lantis. And then that period will kick in, and I'll be like, Oh, no, I need more. But then there's a moment where you're like, maybe it's just today because I'm I'm gonna wait. And then you're spending sort of two, three days playing catch up. And then it by the time you've got it kind of right in, you're like, yeah, now I can be more aggressive, then it switches into more sensitive time, and then you're low all day. And you're like, Well, I don't want to do that again. And so it just, it's just, I feel like it's more work than it needs to be

Scott Benner 33:24
a number of period tracking apps allow you to make notes day to day where you could just easily write like, you know, sensitive or, you know, resistant or whatever words you decide to use, or take little notes about how meals went, I bet you in a month. I mean, I bet if you did it for two months, you you'd have something you could start comparing and maybe you could start seeing some similarities to distances of time between, you know, ovulation, the event and other things like that. Possible. I mean, it's worth an effort. I mean, you're totally, you're just is Canada ever going to open back up? Or is it?

Margaret 34:05
That's a great question. I think so I'm hopeful soon that we're going to start going back to somewhat normal. Yeah,

Scott Benner 34:13
cuz I went to a play like two months ago, just so you know.

Margaret 34:16
Yeah. It's, it's, it's very wild. I have a couple of friends who live in the States and like, what this is just, it's like an alternate reality or something like I don't I don't know. It's very strange.

Scott Benner 34:27
I believe I learned yesterday that a number of like northeast states are dropping mask mandates for kids at school in the next four weeks. And I mean, like I said, I had to wear a mask but I mean, I saw To Kill a Mockingbird on Broadway and it was a packed house. And you know, I assume I assume you'll get back to it eventually.

Margaret 34:47
Yeah, I think so. It's, I think part of the trick. This is maybe boring, but I think part of the trick up here is just we don't have the money, like the Canadian theatre scene is, is just operates on pretty tight I mean, theater always kind of operates on a tight margin, but we operate on a very tight margin. And so you can't, if you want to do a musical with 25 people, that's a lot of people to pay. And you kind of need to guarantee that you can have a bunch of people in the audience. And because we were just more intense about keeping things a little bit more locked down, and things have kind of opened up and shut back down. I think they're just nervous about doing anything like that.

Scott Benner 35:28
Yeah. So you get the production up on its feet. And then something happens. And now you owe people money, and you don't have any ticket sales. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I saw I mean, Jeff Daniels was in mind. So there was, there was some costs to seeing the affair. I got those tickets as a Christmas gift. Awesome. Nice gift. Yeah. And I knew I was I was gonna get, I knew I was going to be in a good seat. Because when my wife handed them to me, she's like, just don't check into how much they cost. And I was like, okay, she's like, just let's just go to the play and have a good time. And we saw his last performance, which was really, oh, that's so cool. It's really lovely. And nice. It was a great, it was a great play. It's a great play for all of you who can't see it now, because the actor is no longer in it. So, all right, well, are you? Do you date? Do you have anybody in your life? Or do you live with a roommate? Anything like that?

Margaret 36:24
I live by myself. I do date. But I don't have a partner.

Scott Benner 36:28
Gotcha. How is dating with diabetes?

Margaret 36:33
Oh, it's hard. Mostly because like the the diabetes itself is fine. Like the the telling people is totally fine. But I always get adrenaline before the date. And I keep making plans to have like nice foods. And then I don't I have my blood sugar goes high. And I don't want to Bolus for because I don't want to go low. Like it's just I it's like a moment when I'm like, Oh man, like this is really interrupts the enjoyment of a date sometimes.

Scott Benner 37:11
So sure. So like on a first date, you feel like me see if I'm following this correctly, you get anxious because it's a first date. And you're going to tell somebody you tell them right away. You have diabetes? Oh, yeah. Okay. And you're gonna tell somebody have diabetes right away? And is there a thought in your head? Like, maybe I'll get rejected because of this? I

Margaret 37:29
mean, if they rejected me, I'd be like, great, you know, because we'd some out faster. Yeah, we'd demote faster for sure. And also, it's like, well, I have diabetes. So if you if you don't want to date someone with diabetes, and you don't want to date me, because it's not like, I can pretend that I don't have it. Well, we date,

Scott Benner 37:47
right. So okay, so that's in your head, your blood sugar kind of jumps up, but then you think, if I Bolus I don't also don't want to get low in front of this person? Yes. Do you have a lot of anxiety around that? I'm getting

Margaret 38:01
low. Um, sometimes I really feel my lows, which is great. But I don't like being low in front of people, because it just feels really vulnerable. And also, like, you're in an altered state. And, like, you can kind of like see somebody, especially people who I'm, I know, like, I've, you know, people that I know, well, but I met a really close to me, but I haven't spent that much time with them since being diagnosed. So they've never seen me low before. And it's, it's it is a weird, like, they just kind of like they look at you weird and are like, because you can, and you don't really know that you're talking in a high pitched voice or behaving strangely, but you are. And they're kind of looking at you strangely, and it just feels really vulnerable. And I don't, it's not great.

Scott Benner 38:56
Yeah. Plus, your perception is probably off too. So it's probably intensified, I would imagine. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. That's not something that people talk about very often. So in order to not feel like that, or to be like that around other people. You may make decisions about your care that you wouldn't normally make. Yeah, totally. But but when you normally Bolus for anger, like first, like stressful situation, do you get low afterwards? Or is it just the fear?

Margaret 39:25
I will get low afterwards. If it's if it's, if it's adrenaline. I also often get like, you know, I'll get adrenaline around doing an audition or doing a show sometimes. But I don't want to Bolus for that because usually those environments are like cardio environments. So it will bring it back down. But then a date obviously. So then it's a little hard to tell because it'll sometimes will go low, but that's because of the cardio whereas the date is different, like I guess actually don't I haven't really thought about this. I don't usually go low. In a date, it would just be there

Scott Benner 40:09
the whole time. Yeah. So we're learning it is exciting to date.

Margaret 40:14
Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Yeah. I

Scott Benner 40:17
mean, I want to take it away from diabetes for a second. Like it's such a great barometer for stuff that normal people, that normal people, that's not what I meant, people normally go through that you don't get to see because they don't have access to their blood sugars and other internal workings. But you actually, you actually get to see your excitement or your nervousness.

Margaret 40:37
Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. It's really interesting, actually, like, if you detach it from, from the frustrating parts of it that are hard. It is very interesting like I am, every time I don't get enough sleep, I'm like, Oh, my God, you need a lot of sleep like this is just so interesting how much harder it is to manage when I haven't. It's it's a it's like, that's just happening in everyone's body all the time. They have no idea. Yeah, it's very

Scott Benner 41:05
interesting how important sleep is. Also, I imagine you will be able to tell if you don't like a date, right? Because if your blood sugar doesn't go up, you're probably sitting there thinking like, Oh, this isn't too exciting. Yeah, I don't care that much, apparently. So, Margaret, just for clarity, because you're older. And if your parents share this, they hear this. Are you basically sitting there thinking like, I'm never gonna have sex with this guy. So it's not exciting. How quickly to women judge that that's my real question.

Margaret 41:33
Upon? That's a great question. I don't necessarily think I'm a great example, because I am. I like very much need some sort of, I mean, maybe I am exactly the right example. But I need some sort of, like, emotional connection before I really want to have sex with somebody in that way where you're like, yeah. But I don't know. I feel like there's like, two parts of it. I don't know, like, there's like two parts of it when you're on a date, right? There's like, how attractive is this person? How attractive do I find this person? And then there's the like, what's their personality like, and those barometers can kind of go up and down and change how interested you are in the person. See

Scott Benner 42:17
now that there's for sometimes men will like if men meet, like women they find attractive, and then the woman says nothing for an hour. Guys can pretty much ignore that. But you can't ignore that like so. A handsome boy who? I'm sorry, we never like really hammered through that. But Boys, boys and girls, okay, okay, so a handsome person. And then then you look at and you're like, Oh, God, they're totally boring. And then it doesn't matter.

Margaret 42:44
Yeah, I mean, it'll be fine. It'll, I'll be I'll be fine with it for like two or three dates, and then it will just become too obvious. I'm like, no, okay, I'm sorry, this, this isn't gonna happen.

Scott Benner 42:55
Gotcha. It takes a couple of dates. That's it. So you don't have like a, you don't walk into a room ever and be like, ah, there's a wasted night. You don't?

Margaret 43:05
I mean, sometimes really? Okay. Yeah, yeah, there have been some dates that I've been like, oh, no, that was Gotcha. But usually at least they're funny. So that's worth something

Scott Benner 43:16
to tell them. What do you just like? How does How do you stop? Like, because you're at a really interesting age. Like you're, you're, you know, you're not young, and you're not old? Yes. 100%, right, which is just, it's a really interesting age. So you don't you're not looking to waste time, but you have some time to waste. So you meet a person you like them, like as a person, but you're not interested them as a partner? And how do you like, like, Is there something you do to make that clear? Or do you just let it kind of drift away? Or how does that work?

Margaret 43:46
Um, depends on the person, I'll usually pretty be pretty clear. If it, yeah, if I know that it's not going to go anywhere, I'll usually send them a text message just along the lines of like, Hey, thank you so much. I think we'd better be better off friends. But no, thank you. And then we just generally don't actually stay friends.

Scott Benner 44:08
Yeah, I don't see why you would like, yeah, it's not called a friend finder that you're on. Yeah. No. They have all this technology in Canada, too. It's amazing. You know, internet and like applications for your phones stuff. Oh, yeah, we

Margaret 44:23
have so many applications that we can use various dating apps,

Scott Benner 44:29
so many applications that you can use. I am having a good time talking to you. I don't know if we've talked about anything yet. But I'm like, what are we talking about? I don't know you were talking about everything you say that I find interesting. More boys or girls or does it not matter?

Margaret 44:50
Um, lately, it's been more girls. But that's more because for a while it was only boys. So I'm like, I want to date all the girls because that's interesting to me

Scott Benner 44:59
to balancing it out. Oh, yeah, gotcha. Do you think about having kids?

Margaret 45:04
I do. I this is I don't I really don't know. And, and 30 is a bit old to still be like, I really don't know. So yeah, that's, that's the answer to that.

Scott Benner 45:18
Yeah, but I really don't know. But I don't know. Yeah. So you're not sure? Would it matter? I guess it wouldn't matter, right? Like, it wouldn't matter if you like, what if you got really serious with a boy versus a girl or girl versus boy, like, he's just the way you would have a baby would change. But it's not like the desire? I wouldn't imagine. I think it

Margaret 45:38
would matter a little bit, just because it would be harder, like, you know, with the with your dating a boy, it's like, quite easy.

Scott Benner 45:46
Yeah, I've been involved in it.

Margaret 45:48
I imagine, you know, firsthand experience painful. It's like you have all you need to make the thing happen, you know what I mean? Whereas if you're dating, it's two girls. There's just a question of like, where do you get the sperm? And how do you get it and what, like, there's just, it just becomes, it has to be so much more of a design decision. So I mean, I think in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't make a difference. But

Scott Benner 46:13
can I can I share something with you? Yes, there's an episode that's going to come out soon that will, in hindsight to listen to this be months and months before anybody hears yours. Where a person talking about in vitro says back she said back when sperm was cheap, she said it? She said it like it was like, I don't know. Like it just was like it was a normal sentence that people spoke all the time.

Margaret 46:43
Correct. It sounds like like an apocalypse situation where it's like sperm is the currency or something.

Scott Benner 46:51
Yeah, I dined. Like, I'm actually I want to make it the title of the episode, but I think it's possible no one will listen to it. I don't know. But it's just it enthralled me when she said it. And we were not having a particularly like uplifting conversation. But it was just, it was just kind of hilarious. Anyway, backwards, sperm was cheap. There's no way that's going to be the title of the episode, but it damn well should be. Yeah, I take your point, though. And so but you don't have a real preference, right? Do you?

Margaret 47:21
Not really, I think at this point, it's probably women, but it's like it's shifted. Touch many times

Scott Benner 47:28
I hear you. Well, are your parents alive? They are. Yeah. Okay. Are they very involved in your diabetes?

Margaret 47:36
No. You know what I say that I take that back, they are really, really involved in emotionally supporting me around diabetes. Like they have listened to me talk about it. So so much and retrospectively and like way too much like that must have been so annoying to listen to me talk about it so much. But in terms of the management, they're really not involved.

Scott Benner 48:04
Okay. You think that's because you just didn't grow up in the house with it. But so you're seeing from them, like a desire to be involved, but no real way because you don't live with them? Yeah. Okay. Do they follow what you tell them? Do you think? Do they remember it? Like,

Margaret 48:22
yeah, yeah, I think so. They definitely do and not my mom will be like, what's your insulin to carb ratio? Now, sometimes I'm like, that's nice mom. The only thing? Yeah, they generally do. The only thing they have trouble with is is is Pre-Bolus times like, I'll go to their house for dinner. And it you know, they'll tell me, it's ready in 15 minutes, and I'm like I have there. I cannot trust you. There's no way it will be ready. And I have no idea what time it will actually be ready, but it will not be 15 minutes. But other than that, they're like, they definitely know. What's they couldn't manage it for me? Right? I'm definitely not. But they do retain what I'm saying.

Scott Benner 49:07
Gotcha. Okay. Well, that's nice. Did Does that feel good knowing that they're trying to be involved? Yeah,

Margaret 49:12
they are. Definitely. Yeah, it feels really nice. It's like they're very, very supportive, in all the ways the only thing that it it would be like, I know that I'm the only person who knows how to manage my diabetes. Which isn't. It's, it would be, it would be nice. It'd be reassuring to know that somebody else knew what to do.

Scott Benner 49:36
Yeah. Well, who would who could that person be for you? If you're not in a in a steady relationship? Do you think?

Margaret 49:42
I don't know.

Scott Benner 49:44
I, I'm thinking about it. I I was just trying to put myself in your position because, you know, if you're not with somebody, like that's, like, I guess living with you, basically. Yeah. Then how would they be able to see it enough to understand it? You couldn't Small Yeah, you know? So is that, is that a concern for you that in the end you, you kind of feel by yourself.

Margaret 50:07
I think a little it has been especially, especially since like, the first year that I had diabetes, for a good chunk of it I was working with, I was doing shows with this friend of mine who has type one. And so that was awesome. Because you, he could just be like, he just helped me so so much. And there was someone there to just who knew what to do. Like, I felt like you just feel safer with people who really understand what, what to do. And then when I came back to Toronto, and was with my friends who were here, they don't know anything about diabetes, and and also hadn't lived with me for the first year. So they hadn't like been around me as someone with diabetes before. And so that was tricky. I felt more alone in that situation, because I think they also they just didn't it's you know, it's complicated. And so they just didn't really understand like that there were things that a year and I didn't at all know what to do, or like how to do. Because I think they were just like, well, you've got it figured out now and it's fine. And it's all just not a thing. That's not really how works. And it's just so hard to explain to anyone who doesn't have to like really explain.

Scott Benner 51:35
Yeah, so you basically left them as a person who didn't have type one and reappeared in their life as a person with diabetes. Yes. And that's awkward, I imagine. Yeah. Did people handle it? Okay.

Margaret 51:49
I think so. Um, I don't know, it was hard. It was just like, they just, they were so supportive and lovely, for the most part, my close friends. But it's just a reality of really, like, they just really didn't understand what would be a problem and what would not

Scott Benner 52:09
right. Yeah, there's no way to in how would you

Margaret 52:11
ever know, and I didn't, I didn't express it, because I was kind of too caught up in the problem. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, Oh, my god, how am I going to this is a problem rather than being like, hey, it would be helpful if we we had a, like a Halloween gathering last year. And at the time, it was kind of coming out of the honeymoon period. So my blood sugar's were really all over the place. And it was really stressful. And my best friend cooked us a meal. And we were having gnocchi, but she took it took longer than she wanted it to. And so we ate gnocchi at like, midnight. And I was like, This is the worst thing that's ever happened. But I but how was she to know like, she doesn't, she didn't know that that would be a problem. And I didn't say anything. But it was a it was really, really, like I just it was so stressful and so unpleasant. And it felt like she was kind of doing something. Like it's so easy to be like you're doing this on like you are doing this to me, you are creating this scenario where I'm going to be up really late dealing with this blood sugar, but she didn't know how to do that. And I didn't say anything.

Scott Benner 53:24
Do you think? Do you think you were you reasonable? Like in your mind? Are you pissed at the time like unreasonably? Oh,

Margaret 53:32
I was totally pissed. Okay.

Scott Benner 53:36
Geez, you might have renamed the episode Nokia at midnight. It's a shame. Really, because I was really falling in love with the other one title. But he didn't even do it that long. I don't think so. The whole budgeting thing I don't even think yeah, it was only harder to do. So you have this like, do you think you well don't don't think were you low? Were you like hungry? Were you like leading up to this meal? I was hungry. I wasn't low. Okay. And it felt like an affront like this. This whole process is messing with what I need to do, even though they had no way of knowing that.

Margaret 54:16
Yes. And there's also the thing of, you know, I just wanted to have a nice time was the other thing I like I didn't want to have to it would have it would have been a lot easier to have said to them, Hey, I can we eat this not at midnight, this would be a lot easier for me, or even to just be like you should eat this at midnight. This will be wonderful for you. I will have a really small amount and I'll have a dinner a different dinner earlier. But I it Yeah, it was really like the first in the first bit of time of being back with my friends while still having diabetes. And I just didn't really want to have to ask for any accommodate Asians, like I just wanted to just do whatever everyone else was doing and not have to think about it. And then, but then when you do that, you have to deal with the consequences of that.

Scott Benner 55:12
Right? Which are, there's forces around you that you're not in control of that don't know that you could really benefit from having dinner a little sooner or something. Yeah, I think that's an interesting look into a part of having diabetes that I don't I don't imagine most people would even consider, you know, when you when you stop and see the big picture, but that there's this whole dialogue going on in your head between you and your, you know, just in your to yourself about how you're being, you know, put out and how this is going to be more difficult. You don't want to have to mention it to people. But really, you should you might have been mad at yourself for not saying something, you know, very possibly. So there's, there's a lot going on, and how often do you think there are little plays in your head like this, that are unseen by other people? Like how often do you think diabetes creates those scenarios? Or is it getting better as you're with it longer?

Margaret 56:10
It's definitely getting better. It's, I mean, part of the reason it's getting better, it's just that there's less, I know what to do more. So there's less thinking about it required, like it's easier to just be able to like, Okay, this is what this is what we're eating, this is what I'm going to do, and I don't have to debate it, or wonder about it for as long

Scott Benner 56:31
so midnight dinner, not as big of a deal today as it might have been three years ago.

Margaret 56:37
Yeah. Because I would I would be like, Okay, I would know, kind of the options of what, like, I would know, my options for this outcome. You know what I mean? Like, I would be like, Okay, I eat dinner at midnight, maybe I have to stay up late, maybe it's worth it. If it's not worth it, I'll eat dinner earlier. Whereas at the time, it just felt like, oh, this thing is happening to me. And I don't want it to happen. I wish it wasn't happening. But I don't feel like I can really do anything to stop it happening this way. So now I'm just gonna deal with the outcome of it, which is, and then not really tell anyone that I'm dealing with the outcome of it, because I just want everyone to have a nice time. Yeah, and not know that that's happening. The bigger

Scott Benner 57:18
picture I'm actually fascinated by this, like bigger picture. I think it's really interesting that there can be so many dot, you know, just dialogues in your head about things around diabetes that other people would never wonder about. Like, I mean, I guess you could be sitting at a table at a restaurant, you're MDI, right. And you might be thinking, like, do I inject myself here in front of these people? Do I excuse myself and go somewhere? Like, when do I do it? Do I tell them what I'm going to do? Like, I guess that stuff is is very real. Yeah,

Margaret 57:50
it's interesting, or not interesting. But I imagine it would be different for everybody. But the there are certain things that I don't think twice about, like the injecting myself in public. I'm not concerned at all about I don't I'm not concerned about whether to tell people about it. I'm very okay with people seeing all of that. It's more of the timing and amount and, and stuff around around meals. Yeah. Like the okay, if I'd give myself this now. Like, what's better? Is it better to dose now, as soon as I order my food, and then be a little bit stressed the whole time that the food's gonna be not there within my sort of Pre-Bolus time? Or is it better to dose when the food hits the table and wait 15 minutes and have it be cold? Like, which would which scenario would I prefer here?

Scott Benner 58:47
Right? Yeah, that sucks. Can we switch gears for a second? Yeah, sure. Does. dating women make you aware of yourself more when you're dating men?

Margaret 58:56
Whoa, that's a great question.

Scott Benner 58:59
I know. I mean, thank you.

Margaret 59:03
Um, it definitely makes you aware. I'm gonna sound like such a millennial. But it makes you more aware of the gender roles in the situation. How, just like when I'm dating men. There's certain it just sort of, it's cool. I don't know it's clearer. It's more straightforward to go on a date with a man. I don't know if that would still be the be the case. But there is just an element of like, this is how I engage with men and it feels very easy. And I'm like, I know how to be on a date with a man I've been like, conditioned into me, since I was a child from watching like movies where women go on dates with men. But then, with women, I found it because I started dating women later and like in my sort of mid to late 20s. And I found it less so now. But I found it harder to get to know kind of how to behave. I'm, I also have a lot of friends who are women who I go out for drinks with. So I was like, Am I just out with my friend? No, I'm not. Am I attracted to this person? Or do I just like, having a nice chat with them? Like, do I like them as a friend? Do I like them as a romantic partner? It just felt a lot like there was fewer. There was like, no limits to what could happen, and therefore it was confusing. Do you ever

Scott Benner 1:00:31
see a behavior or an attribute in a woman that you're dating? And think to yourself? I don't like that. And I recognize that I have that attribute. Oh, yeah, for sure. Interesting. And then does that change anything? Or you just like it, because it's hard to change who you are like you don't? I mean, like, it's not like you. But it would just seem to me that it would be easier to mirror because I'm imagining that I'm irritating in 1000 different ways, right? But when I look at my wife, she's, you know, she's irritating in different ways. So I never see myself and her really, but I just found myself wondering, like, what if I saw myself in my wife? Like, would I be like, Oh, God, I do that, too. You don't eat meat more frequently? At least I don't. Yeah,

Margaret 1:01:18
yeah. No, I totally. This is funny, because people want to learn how to listen to this. But I have been dating somebody who we look a lot alike, which is really weird. And she is somebody who I notice things in her that I'm like, ooh, that's something that I noticed. That is something that I noticed in myself, and that's a negative quality. And I totally do, try and try and change it. I don't think that's necessarily because she's a woman. I think it might just be because, but also we look a lot of like, so maybe it is I don't know,

Scott Benner 1:01:55
maybe maybe maybe it hit you deeper, because you almost see yourself. That's it. Yeah. Well, I'm not going to ask any weird questions about how close you look like and whether or not like, you don't I mean, yeah, we're not gonna talk about that. Like, he doesn't feel like being with yourself, right? No, okay. All right. No, not at all. Okay. That's all do you think right? Yeah. Nevermind. You know, I mean, I could ask, but I want everybody to be able to listen. It's got to stop somewhere. You know, Margaret, I have a, you know, this is not the first time that I've interviewed somebody who's you would consider yourself bisexual,

Margaret 1:02:36
I guess. Yeah, like pansexual.

Scott Benner 1:02:39
Probably. Okay. Yeah. Well, you define those for me. So I understand I

Margaret 1:02:43
wanted to present bisexual is you're attracted to both women and men. Pansexual is you're attracted to people regardless of gender. It's like kind of a limited distinction. But like, you're not limited. It's like it's not it's a pretty subtle distinction. But yeah, I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:03:02
Would that cover? Like, if I was? If I was a transgendered man, yeah, that would cover that. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, I understand. I'm old. So in my mind, there's, you know, there's less distinctions. So not that I don't understand that there are, it's just that when I think about them, they don't pop into my head that way. You understand? It's so funny. There's an episode of the podcast that was recorded. It's one of the ones no one's ever heard. So if you've ever heard me talk about it before, I did one with a with a girl who asked me later not to aerate because her and her partner were traveling abroad, and they were literally afraid they'd be they'd be identified. I think she was giving the podcast little too much credit, but she that they'd be identified her partner was concerned because her partner, I don't, I'm not being I'm not being light hearted, but I remember words like Zim, and things like that. But this was like, a long time ago, like years and years before, like, anybody was trying to understand gender like in, in, in the world that I existed in, I guess. And so I She explained the whole thing to me. My mind was fried at the time. Yeah, but I really do wish I could air it because it's a person like trying to understand it, just new ideas. You know what I mean? It was it was I had such a hard time tracking it back then. I think I would have an easier time now. But anyway, no one's ever going to hear it because they were they were scared that they would would. There'd be some sort of retribution if people knew who they were. Anyway, I was lost in the conversation. She was explaining it and I'm just like, I could not follow and it was just I don't know. Anyway, I probably would be embarrassed by it if I heard it, but nevertheless, it

Margaret 1:04:55
is like, I don't know. I found it. It's still confusing sometimes because it's like Things that you have known, you have known or been taught or whatever for your whole life, and someone's trying to explain something to you that like, kind of fundamentally shifts thought and that is like hard for your brain to do.

Scott Benner 1:05:11
Yeah, it's the it's like the pronoun thing like my, I don't not want to do it. But it's, it doesn't happen all the time. You know what I mean? So yeah, I don't know, the it's just a weird, it's a weird situation to be in. And the older you are to the less agile your brain is, like, there's just that seriously, there's no way around that, you know, some things are just like, fried into your mind at that point. You can, like, hear it and then go, Oh, I didn't mean that. But it's, you know, that's it. It's just it's a very, yeah, it's a very interesting situation to be in. And things morph much more quickly now. And we're all aware of each other because of social media and the internet and everything before as the world morphed a 45 year old, 50 year old person didn't, they weren't even aware of it. Like they wouldn't, they would never know, you know what I mean? They'd be like, oh, there's some kids living in Toronto, they do that thing. You know what I mean? But I'm over here. And I don't know about it. And anyway, it's interesting. All right, which is better boys or girls? That's my last question. Which is easier,

Margaret 1:06:15
easier, which is easier? Boys, they're easier.

Scott Benner 1:06:19
Boys are easier than girls. Yeah. Can I say something? Yeah, I assume that because of my experiences with girls. But easier, like just less dramatic?

Margaret 1:06:34
No, I'm just just more straightforward. It's just like, I had a bit of a hard time knowing that I was not straight. Like, it took me a bit to figure it out. And so there's just some like, being like, you know, I was, like, the high school that I went to there was like, it was at the time when you were like, you're so gay is like the worst insult you can say to somebody. So there was, there's still some just like, not so much anymore. But for a long time, there was some like, okay, it's okay, that you are gay, like that took, there was a lot of like, figuring that out. And it was all sort of tied up with dating women. So it's just way more complicated, right. And also, the women that I would were was dating were kind of also doing to some degree, not all of them, but also doing that same thing. And there's the like, figuring out just how to do it was just more complicated

Scott Benner 1:07:34
there at times can be two people who are in that same state of figuring themselves out. Totally. Whereas when you're with a guy who's straight, he knows he's straight. And that's not up for debate. Yeah, okay.

Margaret 1:07:45
And it's also like, you know, your parents dated and got married, their parents dated and got married. There's just so many examples of how to do it. So it's just very easy to be like, Okay, I'm going on a date with a man. And now we go out again, it's it mean, it sounds kind of stupid. And like, it's not that complicated to go on dates, but it is more straightforward with guys than it is with girls, for sure. I found that anyway,

Scott Benner 1:08:08
I have a ton of compassion for dating in a digital age. Like I think it it can't possibly be easy.

Margaret 1:08:16
Yeah, I'm not very good at it. I will say that.

Scott Benner 1:08:18
Well, listen, you're 30 years old, and you're still using Margaret. Like, people don't call you Maggie or anything like that. Right?

Margaret 1:08:24
They do. It's just not if it's ever stuck.

Scott Benner 1:08:28
It's funny. So I while we were talking, I made it my mission to find a photo of you, which I've done.

Margaret 1:08:34
And you don't know if it's me, though, it might not be me. There's lots of Margaret. I was gonna say my last name. There's lots of Margaret Thompson's in the world. I don't mind. Well, you

Scott Benner 1:08:41
did say your last name. Yeah, that's fine. Well, first of all, Margaret, I know I found you because you're in my Facebook group. Oh, yeah. I am in your Facebook group. Yeah. So I was able to find you. And you, you know, I was trying to find out what uh, Margaret looked like. At 30. You don't I mean? Yeah, right. Because in my mind Margaret's like, it's an it's a it's like a more proper older name. Yeah, it's

Margaret 1:09:04
like an 80 year old lady name.

Scott Benner 1:09:07
But you're adorable. Like you're just a little like, you're you're you're like a you're you're a nice looking look younger person. I'm old. I don't know how to like, I can't interact with you because I don't feel creepy. But you're cute. So. And do you not look like a Margaret? That became my question that I had to ask myself and then I realized you do now look like a Margaret because I know you. Yes. Right. I mean, for now. I know you're for an hour. But I can totally see that being your name. That's all Catholic. No, like United Church. Oh, you don't sound very religious.

Margaret 1:09:42
I don't know. When when we went to church growing up like my mom, we would take us to church, but my dad's an atheist so he would stay home. And it was nice. Like I liked the singing, like the part where the guy would sort of talk about ideas but Oh, I didn't I don't know about I don't know about church.

Scott Benner 1:10:03
Do your parents know you're pansexual? Yeah. And what was that? Like? Did they were like, Did one of them go? Yeah, we know. Or was it like, oh, okay, how did it go?

Margaret 1:10:16
Um, it's funny. I retrospectively my, I probably should have made it a bit of a bigger deal. But yeah, my parents are just very lovely. Like, they're very supportive, we have a very nice relationship. So, I kind of and I had sort of started dating women, and I was like, feel weird that haven't said anything to them, but I don't really think it will matter. So I think I just told my mom, that I was going on a date with a girl and she was like, Oh, that's interesting. And that was kind of the extent of the conversation. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:10:47
nice that she disseminated that information to your father. Yes. Yeah. Would you have loved to have been there when she's like, sit down, I have to tell you something

Margaret 1:10:56
like, this is such a big deal.

Scott Benner 1:11:01
I would die to know how she put it to him.

Margaret 1:11:06
Yeah, it was probably so nicely and properly phrased. It would,

Scott Benner 1:11:09
yeah, or just the complete opposite. And it would have shocked the hell out of you. Like, I'm probably gonna bleep this out. But like, can you imagine your mom's and your father down and go, Margaret? Oh, I wish That's what she said. That is odd. or something ridiculous. You know what I mean? Horrible. Yeah. Just and then your dad just goes, all right. Oh, my God, that Wow. Sorry, I imagined it was probably dainty. And she was probably like, I need to tell you something. And I was talking to Margaret. No,

Margaret 1:11:46
I'm that what you just said, as a racing, whatever I thought would happen. And that's forever what my visual of that experience is gonna be just let it be

Scott Benner 1:11:55
that in your mind, it'll be more fun that way. Oh, it's way more fun. Yeah. Your parents could be people. You don't even realize how many siblings do you have are none. I have two brothers. Two brothers. Are they older than you? They're both younger, younger. Okay. Any of them live with your parents, though? No. Okay. All right. Yeah. I don't know your parents could be having a wild time over there. I don't know. I mean, think about your grandfather.

Margaret 1:12:17
They watch a lot of like art lectures and

Scott Benner 1:12:21
copy shows. Maybe naked. They're watching them. Oh, my God. I don't know what's happening. You don't either. I'm just saying oh,

Margaret 1:12:33
I don't. That's the problem. I don't know that that's not happening.

Scott Benner 1:12:38
I'm not gonna be happy till this podcast ends with you imagining your mother with a riding crop. That's all Oh. All right. Well, this has gone off the rails. Margaret, is there anything we haven't talked about that you wanted to?

Margaret 1:12:51
I mean, we didn't talk at all about like diabetes of musical theater,

Scott Benner 1:12:54
though. Okay. Well, go ahead.

Margaret 1:12:57
But I'm like now I don't even really know what I would want to talk about.

Scott Benner 1:13:01
I think that's my charm. Honestly, Margaret, if I'm saying one of my secrets is that, you know, I think that when people think about their diabetes, and talking about it, they come up with these very concrete, like, narratives. They're like, Well, I am in musical theater, and I have diabetes. And that's interesting. But I think that the interesting stuff about people is the stuff they don't even ever think about. So, like, if we kept talking, if you told me right now, we only have 10 more minutes to talk, Scott, I'd want to know about managing your type one, during like intimate situations. I'd want to know more about what you hide from other people, what you hide from yourself, what you wish you could just talk about out loud and why you're holding yourself back. But most people, when they think about coming on the podcast are like, well, I'll talk about the fact that I dance and I have blood sugars, and they get low sometimes, but everyone knows that already. Yeah. So I just think about it differently. But anyway, I'll talk about whatever you want. What do you want to say?

Margaret 1:14:01
No, I'm like, Well, I don't really need to talk about that. Because that's kind of it.

Scott Benner 1:14:05
Yeah. I mean, you listen to the podcast, right? Just it's exercise and set temp basals and if you are MDI, maybe, you know, there's certain things you can eat to help hold your blood sugar up while you're dancing. And I mean,

Margaret 1:14:18
yeah, I mean, that's it that really is it right?

Scott Benner 1:14:21
That's that's like, I don't know, like that's, that's in the prototype episodes. Go get an amen. Yeah, you don't need you don't need Margaret to explain how she gets to dancing.

Margaret 1:14:31
No, and I'm like, medium added at best. So don't listen to me goes to the protests. I like

Scott Benner 1:14:37
at this point. You've described your diabetes management is mediocre I think and medium. Yeah. But do you think if you had a pump, it'd be different?

Margaret 1:14:51
Yeah, I think so. Um, I also like, I think my diabetes management is is good. It's just not good. It's still a work in progress. You know?

Scott Benner 1:15:02
What do you what do you consider good? Like, what's your one say? Your last one is a six. Six is great.

Margaret 1:15:07
Yeah. And it's been the six is like it's been in the fives basically since I was diagnosed, and I've been trying to like get a little bit more wild with my food choices, so it went up a little bit,

Scott Benner 1:15:18
and you're out of your honeymoon. Now you think? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And you have a six. I think that's terrific. Yeah,

Margaret 1:15:24
I'm like, I'm totally happy with it.

Scott Benner 1:15:25
I think you tried to get back to pizza and ice cream. So you can go find that nurse?

Margaret 1:15:29
Oh, yeah. I can be like, Listen, lady, my onesies amazing. And I'm eating all the pizza I want.

Scott Benner 1:15:37
I'll tell you what, I eat whatever I want. I gotta six. You were wrong now. Your boyfriend? What was it? She dated a guy that he died? Yeah,

Margaret 1:15:46
he was he had a heart attack. And he had diabetes. really awful. Actually, like, that's terrible.

Scott Benner 1:15:50
All right, that's really any health care worker who thinks that that's a good way to approach a newly diagnosed person is off their rocker. That's just ridiculous. Although in every walk of life, people say things that I'm stunned by all the time. You know, it's just, it's hard to think and communicate, people aren't great at it. But what are you gonna do? You're gonna live, you're going to work in that bakery until they open things back up, you're gonna get back to doing what you love doing? And then you're gonna get on with yourself. Yeah. What kind of you bake in the bakery? Or do you sell in the bakery? We sell in the bakery? Do you guys make this stuff there? Or do you buy it and just repurpose it?

Margaret 1:16:31
Um, some of it, we repurpose it, you know, I do, but it's funny. We bake like the cookies there. The rest of the stuff comes from kind of a central bakery where they're very good at baking, we just kind of scooped cookies out and bake them on a tray.

Scott Benner 1:16:48
Took baking for three years in high school. Oh, my God,

Margaret 1:16:51
are you good baker?

Scott Benner 1:16:52
I am. It's a skill I don't get to use very often. But here's what happened. I hated school. Like with a burning passion. I did not like being in school. And we were leaving Middle School, which is probably not what you call it. But it was like my eighth year of school, eighth, ninth year of school, depending I guess, if you count kindergarten, and getting up to high school, which I don't know what they call that in Canada. But there were, there was the opportunity to go to, you know, like, there's like an industrial school where you can learn a trade, I guess they would call that trade school. And I had no interest in it, we were in a, you know, like in an auditorium being told about all of our possibilities for high school. And I was not paying attention. And this person explained the schedule for trade school in the schedule was this two weeks of high school, solid than two solid weeks of trade school than two weeks of high school than two solid weeks of trade school. And I quickly did that math and thought, well, if High School is three years long, and I go to trade school, high school is now only a year and a half long, and it's broken up into week increments. And that seemed very doable to me. So I went to the, you know, they walked us around the trade school, and you could go through every class and see which every class was to your liking, small engine repair, there was hair care, there was like, you know, there were all these different things. And at the end of the day, I just chose where the most girls were, and took that

Margaret 1:18:28
is a good strategy.

Scott Benner 1:18:29
It's all anything I had. So I mean, because I didn't care. I didn't, I wasn't I didn't want to go to trade school. I wanted to not go to high school for three solid years, or to you know, so I just I literally just I got home, I had the form of my hand, I thought there were a lot of attractive girls in the bakery. And I honestly, I made the decision probably the same way you would Margaret. And I, and I, and I, my mom's like you care about that. I'm like, I'm a pretty decent Cook, it'll be okay. And then I learned how to bake over the next three years, but it like large scale, like not a cinnamon bun, but 1000s of cinnamon buns and not a loaf of bread, but hundreds of pounds of loaves of bread. And I learned how to bake on a large scale.

Margaret 1:19:14
That's very cool. That's like probably the best decision you could have made because you have an actual skill that you're going to use. And you got to chat to lots of ladies like That sounds great.

Scott Benner 1:19:25
I made a absolute crazy good pancake the other day. So I was really good. Like it's it's one of those cakes. It sits in the house and people pick at it until it gets stale. And then we just shove it into the trash. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do have that skill and the girls were fun. So and by fun, I mean fun in the most inappropriate way. So it was a good time. I got suspended once for being in the ladies bathroom. Oh my god. Other than that it went okay. Yeah, it was fine. Margaret is a different world. You know what I mean? You don't know because you know Oh,

Margaret 1:20:00
I don't I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:20:01
You really don't know. Yeah, it was a personal relationships were measured differently in the 80s. There were there were, I'll tell you about it. We're done recording. Anyway. Do you have anything else? Are you good?

Margaret 1:20:16
No, I think I'm good. I totally understand because I, you know, I listen to the podcast. And I totally understand why people are like, I don't even know what we talked about afterwards. I don't know what all we talked about.

Scott Benner 1:20:27
Now, you're in my mind, it's moving slightly faster than it should be. So it's a it's good times. How long have you been listening to this show?

Margaret 1:20:35
Um, a while, like, I think I started listening maybe a month or two after I was diagnosed.

Scott Benner 1:20:40
Oh, wow. And how'd you find it?

Margaret 1:20:43
Oh, I joined like a type one diabetes athlete Facebook group, like shortly after being diagnosed. And just for like, management tips. And someone had posted I actually remember this. So clearly some woman, there's a woman who was managing her granddaughter. And she was like, what I do when I want to have a cupcake is I watched the Dexcom line and I wait to see when it dips. And then I have the cupcake. And I was like, That is so cool. And then in that same comment post, they're like, you want more like, it wasn't like this, but it was kind of like you want more tips like this, check out the Juicebox Podcast and I was like, great. I'll I'll check out the Juicebox Podcast. And then yes, I had a 20 minute walk to work at the time. So I just listened to it whenever I was walking to work, and I

Scott Benner 1:21:31
captured your imagination here your

Margaret 1:21:34
your I Am. Yeah. Well, thank

Scott Benner 1:21:35
you to all the people who so unabashedly pimped the podcast for me, I really appreciate that. Thank you. You found Margaret, and now Margaret's here and think who you'll find next. A year from now we can be having another scintillating conversation with someone who was found the exact same way. Listen to me, I'm marketing now for myself. Alright, I'm gonna let you go. But hold on a second. And I'll tell you how we interacted as children in the 80s. Okay. All right.

Huge thanks to Margaret for coming on the show and sharing her story. And thanks to Dexcom and the Dexcom G six, head to dexcom.com forward slash juice box to get started. I'd also like to thank Omni pod and remind you that the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash can be gotten gotten getting go in at the Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes, links at juicebox podcast.com. To these and all the sponsors. When you click the links, you're helping the show. So please do that. I'm also going to include a complete non sequitur for the beginning of the podcast that got edited out. I don't know why. I just enjoyed it. Thanks so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Margaret 1:22:55
I mean, I could even just

Scott Benner 1:22:57
Can you imagine if we reenacted it, and then later told people it was a reenactment of you eating toast?

Margaret 1:23:04
Like just so you know, not? Oh, my God.

Scott Benner 1:23:07
I'll tell you. In my mind that would be the equally the most boring and enthralling five minutes that a podcast ever opened. Right now you're listening to Margaret eat toast. Oh my god. And then tell the story about the Bolus and then say, now we weren't recording when this happened originally. So this is a reenactment and in the background we just hear you going like just like like just eating like daintily. You know, I think it'd be hilarious. I don't know. Oh,

Margaret 1:23:33
I hate listening to people choose so that would probably make like I would that would be my worst nightmare I think is that would be like the intro to the episode. No. I wouldn't I would turn this episode off so that's great.

Scott Benner 1:23:46
Oh my God, that's hilarious. Arden's texting me right now. Can you make me waffles when I get home? And I'm saying yes.

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