#1315 I Don't Understand... Arden Three

September 25, 2024Scott Benner

Arden and Scott try to figure out why some people can't hear sarcasm.

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Scott Benner 0:00
OmniPod, Welcome back friends, to another episode of The juicebox podcast.

Arden's back today to talk more about what we don't understand. And today's topic is sarcasm we don't understand why some people can't hear it. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Guys, the best way to support the podcast, if you're wondering, is to use the sponsors links. They're in the show notes of your podcast player. They're at juicebox podcast.com, and they're repeated throughout the ads. I'm talking about OmniPod, Dexcom, US Med, the contour, next gen, blood glucose meter, GEVO, hypo, pen, cozy Earth, AG, one screened for type one.com. Let's not forget touched by type one, the Eversense CGM, the Medtronic champions. Link and you can go to tndxchange.org/juicebox, and complete that survey. All of these things will support the show, not to mention sharing it with friends and people you meet along the way. And don't forget to join the private Facebook group juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook, it currently has almost 54,000 active members, and it's adding about 150 new people every 72 hours. This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth. Use the offer code juicebox at checkout at cozy earth.com and you will save 40% off of your entire order. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored today by ag one, you can drink ag one, just like I do by going to drink ag one.com/juicebox, check it out. Okay, alright, we're back. We're making another episode of I don't understand. But before we get started and I tell people the topic, tell me what you just said. Oh, my

Arden Benner 2:05
Instagram. Yeah, Instagram spoiled. Um, what do you mean?

Unknown Speaker 2:09
What do you mean? I'm like, let

Arden Benner 2:11
me tell you about this problem on Instagram. No, I don't even want to say it now. It's not that

Scott Benner 2:18
big. Five seconds ago, you were like, there's a travesty of justice. Let me tell you about it.

Unknown Speaker 2:22
Come on. Let's just come on. Now. You

Scott Benner 2:25
don't know, people are gonna wonder what you were talking about. No, just let them wonder. It's good to be curious. Okay. Well, speaking of being curious, we were wondering, and this is one that neither of us understand, I guess, is it neither or neither, neither. I don't think it matters. Either, either, neither, neither. I

Unknown Speaker 2:45
don't think it matters. Let's

Speaker 1 2:46
call the whole thing off. You know, the end of the I wish

Speaker 2 2:49
you did tomato, and you just say, tomato, tomato, tomato, Potato,

Arden Benner 2:55
potato.

Scott Benner 2:56
Let's call the whole thing off. I don't know that was a whole thing is that like a song about people dating and then they don't end up get together because they say tomato differently. That's a dumb reason to break up. Topic garden is doing I'm stretching my leg. No one knows that's happening, if you don't mention it, today's topic is something it's difficult for you, and I to to understand, right? Because I think, I mean, I know, for me, I'm dealing on a professional level when it comes to sarcasm. I really am, and I've

Arden Benner 3:34
created sarcasm. You feel like you, you're the one, the creator of sarcasm. So we have quite a hard time understanding this

Scott Benner 3:41
topic. Yes, our topic is, we don't understand why. Some people can't hear sarcasm. Yeah, because it's so obvious, yeah, to me, to you as well. Yeah, it's just like the Yeah, like, we're it's so bad I can't not use sarcasm. They say sarcasm is a dull man's wit, or something like that. But I think that was something that a person who didn't understand sarcasm said, you have to understand, and probably you do that when I'm making the podcast. You know, normally I'm dialing back myself by about like 80%

Unknown Speaker 4:20
like I can't if I just doing that right now too.

Scott Benner 4:23
Oh, I'm still doing it. Or I would say something, or I would say something horrifying to people, yeah, and

Arden Benner 4:27
this podcast would be over on episode three, because we get, we get canceled, for sure, then, uh, we would have no money. Like, like, when we,

Scott Benner 4:37
like, when we just said, I said, Hey, do you want to do this topic? And I was like, Maybe we should wait longer until people really like us before we bring this up.

Arden Benner 4:44
I think the truth of it is, though most people feel the same way about things, but they just like, don't want to be the first one to

Scott Benner 4:51
say it. That I believe is probably true, but I've also learned that there are times where people just they don't hear it at all. Like, like, anything you. Like this thing that whatever done, like things that I think are just obvious. And then I have these sit down long conversations with people, and I realize they're not even they're not hearing this, experiencing this, understanding what I'm saying. Like,

Arden Benner 5:14
I Well, I think a big part of sarcasm is understanding the personality that you're working with. And if people don't know you, then it's like, they don't know if you're being facetious or not, yeah. So like, you have to understand the personality you're working with. But because it's like, obviously, if I made a joke and it involved, like, murder, you'd be like, Oh, Arden's not gonna murder someone. That's she's kidding,

Scott Benner 5:40
no, but some people are be put off by it. Yeah, exactly, because they're not reading the sarcastic and

Arden Benner 5:45
those are people who can't, like, pick up on person, like they don't understand how personalities or this or that,

Scott Benner 5:50
but I don't, but it's not like there's nothing, not like there's something wrong with them, because those people could easily say, like, why don't you guys not be so sarcastic, and then I won't have to feel my way through what you're talking about, but when you're being sarcastic, do you not mean what you're saying?

Speaker 1 6:05
Not always, no, but sometimes Yeah,

Scott Benner 6:10
because, like, you know, like the saying many truth are told in jest. You know that one, no, I do okay. Meaning that people joke about things that they really mean, and then they're like, Oh, I'm just kidding to, like, lighten the the landing of the what is

Arden Benner 6:25
it? Drunk, drunk something or sober thoughts, drunk words, something like that. I don't know the thing they say, like, when you drink and you say something like a truth elixir, yeah, drinking.

Scott Benner 6:38
So when people are. It's so interesting because now I'm trying not to be sarcastic while I'm thinking about it. But I know, for as an example, I don't believe that mom's mother, on any fundamental level, understands me. Okay. I don't like I think anytime I'm joking, she doesn't know I'm joking. Wait, what? And why are you saying this? Because she's an example of a person who I just don't think gets my sarcasm at all. And I know there are other people like that, because I get emails from people listening to the podcast who are like mad at me for something that they perceive that

Arden Benner 7:20
I think is so interesting.

Scott Benner 7:24
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Unknown Speaker 9:19
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Arden Benner 9:21
For some reason, like not being sarcastic is like the default persona. So if you are sarcastic, it's like you're different because you act like this in this scenario, you know what I'm saying. So it's like you like people will say to a sarcastic person, if they don't like sarcasm, they'll be like, I don't like sarcasm, so you have to stop using it. But why is it not like, Oh, I

Unknown Speaker 9:44
like sarcasm. I

Arden Benner 9:45
understand it. You should use it, right? Such a double standard, I

Scott Benner 9:50
have to tell you, this is a very similar thought that I had after I got married, but not about sarcasm. I want to know what it was about. It's about like. Right? In any interpersonal situation, someone tends to take the moral high ground and illuminate you as the problem, yeah. And now, therefore something that's

Arden Benner 10:14
unique or different anyway, is the problem,

Scott Benner 10:17
right? Yeah. And they feel like, well, because, oh, this is a bigger topic, isn't it? This

Arden Benner 10:22
gets into like, like, race and stuff like that, yeah, like, it's, it's minority. Like, being the minority in a certain setting makes you the one who's wrong. So

Scott Benner 10:31
you're saying, if you're a sarcastic person surrounded by people who aren't, yeah, you're my you being the minority in that situation allows the people who aren't sarcastic to paint you as the problem, yeah,

Arden Benner 10:44
because there's more of them than there is you. So they they think that they must be right, because they're like, they're like, the normal version or something, and we're like the off version of them.

Scott Benner 10:54
Do you think that in an alternate situation when there's eight sarcastic people, eight people with, like, the talent for sarcasm, and two people who don't, does it feel mean to the two people who don't have this skill? Is

Arden Benner 11:07
it a skill? It probably is. But like, think about it like affliction. Think it's like you were in like, a room with comedians or something, and they're all making jokes, and you're not like that is you feel out of place then.

Scott Benner 11:19
So when you hear comedians talk to each other like because now every comedian in the world has a podcast so you can hear their

Arden Benner 11:24
every thought like you. Deb, I have a podcast too, but comedian, I'm not a comedian. You're so funny. Do you think I could do I don't think I could, really. I don't think you could do it either.

Scott Benner 11:34
Yeah. I don't think I could. But my point is this is that when when a bunch of comedians get together, they just break each other's balls constantly.

Arden Benner 11:42
Yeah? And I would love that. I'd love to be in that situation. Mom would start crying four seconds into that conversation because she feels like attack, attacked. Yeah, Cole would too, because they don't hear the sarcastic. It's all jokes. You can't take anything to heart, right? But the thing is, a lot of it's true. You have to deal with the fact that it's true.

Scott Benner 12:03
Are you okay, hearing stuff about yourself sarcastically, that's true. Yeah. Are you sure?

Arden Benner 12:08
Yes, when you're not,

Unknown Speaker 12:10
what do you mean?

Arden Benner 12:11
You're not good with that?

Scott Benner 12:12
I think that everybody thinks you dish it. Don't take it. I think everybody thinks that probably to an extent. Yeah. I think everyone thinks everyone else is bad at it, but they're great at it. No,

Arden Benner 12:23
I don't think anyone's bad at it.

Speaker 1 12:25
I think that you think I can't take it. Oh, you

Arden Benner 12:29
cannot take it. I don't agree with that. You get very defensive. You're already defending yourself. I don't feel defensive. Like, if you told me right now that I can't take it, I'd be like, Okay, I don't know why you think that, but like, Okay, if that's what you think so, but you get defensive right away. This is

Scott Benner 12:43
very interesting because, because I don't agree, I don't agree with the use of the word defensive.

Arden Benner 12:52
I hate this. We're not getting into this next topic. What? Because I we've talked about this at home, and I think it's so ridiculous. I

Scott Benner 12:59
just think it's explaining a perspective. This is just literally

Arden Benner 13:02
wrong. This isn't even like an opinion. This is just wrong.

Scott Benner 13:07
So I'm not allowed to have my own opinion, because you've said I'm wrong, but earlier, you said that if people who don't understand sarcasm,

Arden Benner 13:14
but there's some, there's some stuff, that's just fact and that is just wrong, go ahead, tell them how you view

Scott Benner 13:21
if somebody says something about you that you don't agree with, and you explain it, that person goes, You're being defensive. And I'm saying, No, I'm just trying to give you my perspective.

Arden Benner 13:36
Well, that's completely different, but you can still being defensive doesn't mean like you're giving it being defense. You can give perspective without being defensive. You can say, okay, I don't agree with this situation. I don't agree with how you see it. Here's how I see it. But instead, you're just like, No,

Scott Benner 13:52
you're wrong. Have you not considered that it's because of the incredible onslaught of pressure coming from, let me be honest, you and mom trying to tell me I'm being defensive. You are you? You are being defensive. I don't feel like I am, but when I'm being told I am, it makes me upset, not defensive. It makes me feel like you're not listening.

Arden Benner 14:15
You go into a defensive mode when you're upset. That's how you work. I don't like it when people don't listen, yeah. And you get defensive. I feel like that's very man of you the way you're talking. I think

Scott Benner 14:26
that that feels like a bad word to me. Defensive.

Arden Benner 14:29
Yeah, so it makes you more defensive because you don't like the word. You're just proving my point right now, I don't

Scott Benner 14:37
feel like that well, like, if you're backing me,

Arden Benner 14:41
SUBSCRIBE and COMMENT down below. Is he defensive? Yeah, please. Oh, this

Unknown Speaker 14:46
isn't YouTube, is it? Oh, I

Scott Benner 14:47
mean, it'll be on YouTube. Okay. Yeah, you people do that, but, but I don't see it as defensive. I just see it as you're not understanding my position. And I'm trying to articulate how

Arden Benner 14:58
this feels to me, not to bring up new. All again, but it has so much greatness in it. It feels like the episode of new girl when they're trying to get Ruth into, like, the really good school, and they're trying to teach her about colors or something, and I know about numbers, they're trying to teach her the numbers, and they're like, 1234567, and they get to seven, and she's like, green. And Schmidt is like, what did she just say? Seven was green? And Jess is like, seven is whatever she feels it is. That is how you that is how I feel right now, when you talk about being defensive, I feel like exactly

Scott Benner 15:32
you're not. You're willfully not hearing me so that you can eat me on a defensive footing. No, that's not what's going on. How it feels? Well,

Unknown Speaker 15:43
I feel that you're wrong.

Scott Benner 15:44
Okay, look at you reaching all the way into epic in season seven of New Girl, for reference, Ruth. Look at you that they named after Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I remember I was there. I remember during covid, when you said to me, Dad, you got to watch this show. And you tried to say no at first, I didn't like it at first. Yeah, it felt too um, box at kami in the first you

Arden Benner 16:06
remember the first day that we watched it together? Remember why we were watching it? I do. So

Scott Benner 16:11
here's what I remember about the first day we were up earlier than everyone else. Yeah, so I'm gonna guess we went for a blood draw. We did. We

Arden Benner 16:18
went for a blood draw, but that was the day you remember when we when we went to go get my blood drawn, and she took so much blood, she had to go to another another room, like, looked at each other, like, what? And then

Scott Benner 16:33
that was back when we were trying to figure out all the things that were going on with you. And she was like, I don't have enough booze. She loved the game with more too, yeah, like in her shirt, right? Like she was, she

Arden Benner 16:44
was holding them in her shirt. And we were like, What the hell. And then she came back, and I swear to God, it was like, over 30 tubes that she took. I don't know what was even wrong with me. And then we left, and she, I remember her saying something like, did you eat? And I was like, no. She's like, Yeah, you should probably do

Scott Benner 17:01
that. Then we came back here and nobody was awake yet, and it was like a it was a cold or a wet day, or it was cold, right? And then we sat on the sofa, under blankets, we watched New Girl, and because it was covid, Mom and I were letting you redo your room any way you wanted, yeah, and you decide birthday, because I couldn't do anything for my birthday, we couldn't do anything for your birthday, so you repainted your room, put down different flooring in your room as your birthday present. But you also made this grand pronouncement that watching televisions made your eyes hurt and you needed a projector. Yes, that was the same day. Yeah, you're so right, because the projector screen came that day, and then we put it up in my room. Yes, you

Arden Benner 17:42
know what? The first show I put on was no Grey's Anatomy. Oh, no kidding. And we were watching Grey's Anatomy on the wall. And then Cole did his little dilly dally. Didn't he's like, Oh, what's going on in here? And I was like, I got a projector, bitch. Yeah. You

Scott Benner 17:56
also for people who think that that's a crazy thing. You can get a projector for about $300 and the screen was like 100 bucks, and we put it up in her room, and she pulls down a screen in her room and she wants to watch TV and turns on a projector, yeah, but nowadays you would do it more on a laptop, right? Because I'm downstairs

Arden Benner 18:12
doing homework, but I just got to clean up my room so I can do it. It's hard to do because I broke the little thing that all my clothes are standing on. So do

Scott Benner 18:20
we want to tell people that your closet so full that you have a free standing closet in your middle of your room? No, I

Arden Benner 18:27
don't want to talk about it, because I also have clothes in my basket online right now. So

Scott Benner 18:32
okay, Marta needs this podcast to, like, maybe get some advertisers so she can buy clothes with it. No, I need an education. Okay. So, okay, so that was the day, yeah, and that show is incredibly sarcastic, yes, and you and I love it, yeah. Now here's interesting. Mom cannot watch it. She can't even figure the

Arden Benner 18:51
out. She can't get, like, three episodes in, like, it's just like, it's all right. And I'm like, well, because you don't hear anything that's going on right now, like something sarcastic will happen, and I'll turn my head and smile, and she's just, like, sitting there, and I'm, like, daring, she doesn't get it.

Unknown Speaker 19:07
She did not get it. Did not hear it at all. Yeah, and it's not like, she

Arden Benner 19:10
doesn't think it's funny. She literally does not understand what's going on. Yes,

Scott Benner 19:14
yes, it's not. You're You're right. She didn't hear something funny and decide that, to me, is not amusing. Yeah, she can't identify that. It's funny, yeah, because she's not hearing sarcasm, she's hearing the words and their meaning, and that's

Speaker 1 19:29
it. Yeah, she's so literal, okay, Cole, who is also literal,

Arden Benner 19:35
I think that he's worse than mom and like, like, when you're talking to him, he's worse than mom, but

Unknown Speaker 19:40
he loves new girl. Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:43
he loves that show, yeah, but he likes something different about

Arden Benner 19:46
it. Yeah, it's not the sarcasm, it's the the actions, maybe like the like when Nick will moonwalk, or like when Schmidt like acts a certain way. It's not the sarcasm of it. It's not the joke. It's the

Scott Benner 19:59
but this. The actions here this, he hears the sarcasm. I

Arden Benner 20:03
think he hears it. It doesn't affect in the same way, but he likes, like, the things that they do feel

Unknown Speaker 20:09
sarcasm like, Shut up. Do you know what I

Scott Benner 20:12
mean? Like, you can feel it coming when you're watching something you're like, this is, I know this feeling. I was saying to somebody the other day about being sarcastic, that when it's done exactly right, it is indistinguishable from, like, regular speech. It's not there, but people who know it's there, it's like seeing a ghost. Does that make sense? Sometimes

Arden Benner 20:32
I hear sarcasm and what people are saying when they don't mean to be sarcastic. That happens to me too, and like, they don't know that they've done something sarcastic, and I'm just like, oh, like, you don't know why. So, you know,

Scott Benner 20:48
almost like a double entendre way, but not exactly. I say stuff on the podcast that gets I know some people laugh at it for one reason, and other people laugh at it for a different reason, yeah, and they don't hear the two don't hear the joke. Yeah,

Arden Benner 21:04
I can. I will have to learn people like sarcasm from people. It's like when I say something or someone else says something sarcastic. I have to look around a room and see what people's reactions are, because people who hear a joke laugh and people who hear sarcasm nod their head

Scott Benner 21:20
and grin or something, maybe just not along with it. Yeah, yeah. It's true. It's very, very interesting. Do you want to read about why some people can't hear sarcasm? It might surprise you. Okay, cognitive and developmental factors. Individuals with ASD, which is autist autism spectrum disorder often have difficulty interpreting social cues, including tone of voice, facial expressions and context, which are essential for recognizing sarcasm. That's not why somebody wouldn't like

Arden Benner 21:52
I know that's true. I know that people on the spectrum have trouble, but not everybody's on the spectrum Right,

Scott Benner 21:57
right, exactly. So that's that doesn't get our answer. Young children or individuals developmental delays. Okay, that's children

Arden Benner 22:03
can't even walk. What are they gonna get my joke? It's like, Hey buddy, come over. Uh, he can't walk. But let me tell you this funny joke. Is

Scott Benner 22:14
it funny too? As you're talking about sarcasm, if you said to me right now, say something sarcastic, I wouldn't know what to say, right, right?

Arden Benner 22:21
But if we're gonna say, but if you're talking, you can't not say something sarcastic, because that happens to me. I have

Scott Benner 22:27
to stop myself from being sorry. Yeah, when I was first like of dating age, a friend of mine told me at six years old, yes, I had a full beard, and I was dating at six. Now, when I was of dating age. A friend of mine who is older told me, dude, if you ever want to be with a girl, you can't use that much sarcasm. Do you think that's true? No, I

Arden Benner 22:49
don't think that's true at all. Yeah, I would have, I have to date someone who's sarcastic, where I'm just, like, boring,

Scott Benner 22:55
but your boy is very quiet, or is he just quiet around us? He's

Arden Benner 22:58
just, he's very he's just chill, but he's very sarcastic with me, okay, right

Scott Benner 23:03
hemisphere brain damage. Wait what? The right hemisphere of the brain plays a crucial role in understanding non literal language, including sarcasm, social communication disorder. This isn't what I wanted. Hold on. What is sarcasm? So key characteristics of sarcasm are irony, tone and delivery, context, intention and examples, if it's raining heavily and someone says, what a beautiful day, well, that's a that's just lazy sarcasm, but it is an example of sarcasm. Sarcasm can be used to add humor to conversation, often highlighted by absurdity or contradiction. Contradiction is mainly what I think of when I think of sarcasm like the opposite of like you're saying the opposite of the words coming out of your mouth. Yeah, right. It can be a way to criticize or express disapproval without making direct statements. Yeah. I

Arden Benner 23:59
think we do that for sure, 100%

Scott Benner 24:02
among friends, sarcasm can be a form of social bonding, showing familiarity and shared understanding, and people sometimes use sarcasm to deflect criticism. You think you do that.

Arden Benner 24:12
You do that for sure.

Scott Benner 24:13
Oh, so for sure. I do it, but you're not sure if you do it. I

Arden Benner 24:16
don't know. You have to tell me. Here's why. I

Scott Benner 24:18
can't let me just readjust to my seat so I can explain this too. I don't judge you.

Arden Benner 24:23
Oh, no, we're not into this right now. Ah,

Scott Benner 24:27
so I don't have any idea, you

Arden Benner 24:31
know what? If you do that, you know what, you'll have no career once this is over. If you want me to start talking, just so you know, and that, by the way, sir, was not sarcasm, but

Scott Benner 24:40
when I said I don't judge you, I was being sarcastic, and then you got defensive. No, because

Arden Benner 24:45
we've had a real conversation about this, and I think it's craziness. Did

Scott Benner 24:49
you just say no, I was being sarcastic and you got defensive. Was I gaslighting you?

Arden Benner 24:55
I didn't say no, I wasn't being defensive. I am being defensive. I 100% agree. With that statement. But

Scott Benner 25:00
when I'm being defensive, it's a problem. When you're doing it is righteous. No, I

Arden Benner 25:04
just, I'm just saying that you can't admit to being defensive.

Scott Benner 25:07
No, we're back on start. Just now, I was being sarcastic. Yeah, I know you were being you got you attacked me? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 25:15
yeah. Well, yeah, 100%

Speaker 1 25:18
okay. Ding, ding, ding. Sarcasm

Scott Benner 25:21
is often used to mock, criticize or show contempt. It can be humorous, but can also be hurtful, depending on how it's used and perceived. Oh,

Arden Benner 25:30
I mock

Unknown Speaker 25:32
you're always mocking people. Always mocking people.

Scott Benner 25:35
It's terrible, unrelenting. I love it when you do it and people don't wreck it. What is that? That's a cricket.

Unknown Speaker 25:42
Sorry, you just yell. Stop it. Cricket. Stop it. Cricket, cricket. What's its name?

Scott Benner 25:49
Well, it doesn't have a name because it only lives for a couple hours. But can you maybe tap on that cage once? Oh,

Arden Benner 25:55
that's not gonna happen, just for sure. Well, we can't

Speaker 1 25:57
talk while it's Oh, it's wait. All right, hold on a second. Can

Arden Benner 26:02
it? Can the thing kill it?

Scott Benner 26:03
It's asleep.

Speaker 1 26:06
The chameleons are asleep. They have a very specific bedtime ritual. They know what time it is,

Scott Benner 26:12
which cages. It's the white one if you just tap it, yeah, that's your freak to crack it out long enough do it again. This is the one real drawback of my chameleons being in here, is that sometimes I go to give them a cricket and they don't get it, and then it lives in there for a day or two, and it makes I got it.

Arden Benner 26:29
Oh no, it started again. You

Scott Benner 26:31
imagine if we had to cancel the podcast because of this something just like left your

Arden Benner 26:36
screen. I don't know what it was. It's

Scott Benner 26:37
a screensaver. Oh, it's louder now. It like knows it's coming for you. Get this. Go ahead. Oh, it stopped. It's gonna start again. Probably, when they get to a certain age, they get like paper on their legs, and they I think, Oh, my God. How does a cricket make a noise? What do you mean

Arden Benner 27:00
by that? That that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Do not put that on the Notes app.

Scott Benner 27:04
You don't want to know. You don't want to know how a cricket makes that noise. No, all right, that is for your own time. So I think what's interesting is that we have not been very sarcastic while we're talking about sarcasm. No, you're not. And if you asked me to give you an example of sarcasm right now, I wouldn't be able to do something. But I know my sarcasm is, is like top shelf, like yours is too, by the way, very, very impressive sarcasm, yeah, what

Arden Benner 27:30
is the anaphylactic shock? Is that when you have a allergy, yeah? Where

Unknown Speaker 27:35
did that come from?

Scott Benner 27:38
You were just thinking about anaphylactic shock. Yeah, you said it very wrong. But

Arden Benner 27:44
this, it's not stopping. I think it like it just made a colony or something, and they've started.

Scott Benner 27:48
You think there's more than one in there now, so

Arden Benner 27:51
loud it is really, maybe it's hot. It is hot in here, yeah, like the backs of my knees are dripping.

Scott Benner 28:00
Oh, sexy. You're also wearing a sweatshirt. Guys into that.

Unknown Speaker 28:08
How's that sound? Are you?

Scott Benner 28:13
It really won't stop. Hold on a second. We're gonna pause. Okay, we're back. Let's button this up. So I have a couple of thoughts. Wait

Arden Benner 28:20
before we keep going. I just want you all to know that the Ohio butthole tickling Bandit has escaped custody and is being hunted by the police.

Scott Benner 28:30
The Ohio butthole tickling bandit, that's not real. Um, I'm

Unknown Speaker 28:35
looking at it.

Scott Benner 28:36
How do I wait? How do I get to your butthole. If I'm the bandit, also, I'm not the Ohio uncommented

Arden Benner 28:44
he doesn't penetrate. He only tickles. First

Scott Benner 28:48
of all, I'm nowhere near Ohio. I want to say that right now. Let me about the Ohio butthole tickling bandit.

Arden Benner 29:02
Someone said the fucking who?

Scott Benner 29:06
It's an urban legend. It's a satirical news story that gained some attention on the internet, but it is not based in real events. That's

Unknown Speaker 29:13
no fun. Sorry.

Unknown Speaker 29:15
It's satire.

Scott Benner 29:18
Satire is satire written sarcasm? Yeah, it is done. Satire and sarcasm are related but distinct forms of communication. While they often overlap, they are not the same,

Unknown Speaker 29:34
but isn't satire like only

Scott Benner 29:37
satire is a literary and rhetorical device that uses humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to criticize and expose the flaws, vices or shortcomings of individuals, institutions, society or politics. Sarcasm is a form of verbal irony where someone says the opposite of what they mean, often with a tone of voice that indicates they are not. Being sincere. It is frequently used to mock or convey contempt. I have to tell you something. My favorite part of sarcasm is when you use it without the tone that says I'm kidding. Like, I think of that as, like, old 1950s sarcasm. You know what I mean? Like, like,

Arden Benner 30:21
if someone has a cigar in their mouth and they're

Scott Benner 30:23
like, whatever that is, yeah, there's that, like, big voice in

Arden Benner 30:28
their hand, and they make a joke, and the laugh track is, like,

Scott Benner 30:32
that's how I think of, like, old sarcasm, yes, stupid, yeah. When I think of sarcasm, I am saying something to you I do not mean, and I am saying it in a tone that would make you think I 1,000,000% mean it. Yeah,

Arden Benner 30:47
that's why I'm saying sarca it's not about understanding sarcasm. It's about understanding the person who is being sarcastic,

Scott Benner 30:53
because no one should ever take me seriously, yeah,

Arden Benner 30:57
but if, if someone just met you, how would they 100% know that they wouldn't like, you know, when we go to a restaurant and you're being sarcastic, sarcastic with a waitress and she's like, ah, but you can tell she's like, What the hell did he just say? Yes, yeah, it's because she thinks you're being sarcastic, but she doesn't actually know your personality or who you are, and so there is no way she can know you're being sarcastic 100% and our time is so limited, there's no and as an as a person, she's probably defending herself in a way too. It's probably like a mechanism. So she's an animal, like we're all animals. She's in defense mode now, because she's, you've said something that's probably she's not taking sarcastic. It's uncomfortable. And then she's like, I have to defend myself. Now I never, I don't need to. I'm

Scott Benner 31:39
never sarcastic and mean I am the people you know, to people you know. Would you be sarcastic and mean to a stranger? No,

Arden Benner 31:50
I don't know. No, you know what I I'm very sarcastic to people I know and to people who listen to me. If I'm talking to someone I don't know. Well, I'm an observer, not a I don't talk. I observe. So I talk more, so in a setting in which people know me, because sarcasm is so big, so I have to use that, and if I can't use that with people, yet, if they're strangers to me, I have to listen to them, observe them, and figure them out first.

Unknown Speaker 32:18
Okay,

Arden Benner 32:21
were you more so would get in a situation and you would automatically start talking to someone,

Scott Benner 32:25
yeah, I'm oblivious to the things that you just talked about. Yeah, I know, yeah, I and it's purposeful. I don't

Speaker 1 32:33
care you should. I should, yeah, because, because it helps you, makes you a smarter person, how much smarter can I get? Oh, you could get much smarter, trust me. That was sarcasm. I know it was okay, and so was mine. Okay. Well, yours was better than mine. Is that what you're

Arden Benner 32:52
saying? Apparently, if you can't catch on, it's like an animal kingdom on the lion here.

Unknown Speaker 33:00
Oh, you've never seen the Lion King. No, I

Arden Benner 33:03
have not. Why won't

Scott Benner 33:04
you just sit down and watch the Lion King? It's upsetting. What

Arden Benner 33:07
does he say when you listen?

Scott Benner 33:08
Ah, whatever that is. Oh, no. Like that, that thing. Yeah, that's probably not totally correct. There's no one in our family that can sing.

Arden Benner 33:21
No, none of us. We can't dance, we can't sing.

Scott Benner 33:26
And for as pleasing as my voice is over this microphone, I cannot sing. People tell me all the time, I have a really good, a great voice for this, but

Arden Benner 33:33
I have the worst voice for a woman. You think so? So it's so deep,

Unknown Speaker 33:38
I don't know, I find it nice. Well,

Unknown Speaker 33:40
I'm your daughter.

Scott Benner 33:41
That's not why you don't feel shrill to me ever.

Speaker 1 33:44
What's that mean? You know when Sanj laughs? Sanj, poor Sanj,

Scott Benner 33:49
you know when she laughs and it makes you like you want to cover your ears, makes you want to murder her, yeah, like that. You're never shrill, and shrill even means a little more like, oh god. Almost like, bitchy, like, or,

Arden Benner 34:03
you know what I really like about myself that I don't do and I will never do, and if I end up doing it one day, I would really like someone to tell me girls who end their sentence with

Unknown Speaker 34:15
like, Oh my god. Do

Scott Benner 34:16
you remember when vocal fry was really big? People go, Oh, my God, like that. Somebody told me online that I have vocal fry. What I don't though, I think they just mean my voice is really deep. So sometimes when I'm speaking, I think I just there's like a rumble in my voice. But vocal fry is specifically at the end of a word, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 34:38
I hate that.

Scott Benner 34:40
They say it's a mechanism of trying to sound smarter, like you're being thoughtful at the end. What makes

Arden Benner 34:46
you sound dumber?

Scott Benner 34:47
Don't the Kardashians do them?

Arden Benner 34:49
I don't know if dumber's a word. More dumb, more dumb? Is it? More dumb? Dumb, afied

Speaker 1 34:53
Dummy, Dippy, stupid doofus.

Scott Benner 34:59
Okay? Idiot, Jesus, very vibe. I

Arden Benner 35:02
thought we were like, getting up to that.

Scott Benner 35:05
You got to it too fast. Wait, so why don't so why don't people understand sarcasm? It gave us like, very like, if you're have, oh, my God, what was that? That's what it sounds like when Cole comes home. Oh, Jesus, yeah. Shakes. I

Arden Benner 35:19
thought we just got I thought we were about to get I thought homelander was here.

Scott Benner 35:23
It woke the cricket back up. Oh, my God, it did. Yeah, upsetting. That's

Arden Benner 35:28
how I feel when Cole enters a room. Honestly, you're upset, yeah, oh,

Scott Benner 35:32
he's home from basketball.

Arden Benner 35:34
I know I saw him leave. Okay, he's probably so hot about he's probably like, so hot outside. He runs.

Scott Benner 35:39
He goes out in like, 90 degree heat, plays basketball outside, then runs for, like, runs for like three hours. He looks exhausted when he comes

Unknown Speaker 35:47
back, but she'll watch love Island.

Scott Benner 35:50
Okay, so he should please stop watching Love Island, by the way. It's upsetting. God,

Arden Benner 35:54
they're so dumb. I love it.

Scott Benner 35:56
But okay, so you're watching that. Why?

Arden Benner 36:00
It's like a zoo. It really is. It's just like watching animals interact with each other, because they're

Scott Benner 36:07
not having real experiences even it's just like it's made up,

Arden Benner 36:10
right? They'll be in there for like, a week, and someone leaves and they start crying, and then I'm like, How is that possible? And then, you know, another guy wants to talk to another girl, and other girls, like, I just feel like you formed a connection, and I'm like, you have been there for seven days, and two of them you didn't know them.

Scott Benner 36:28
Does it almost feel like they're being sarcastic? No, it there's no sarcasm in their voice. They can't they're not capable of sarcasm. Yeah, you think sarcasm is difficult? Like, do you think you have to be able to hold two different thoughts in your head at the same time to be sarcastic? Because you know the truth of how you feel and you know what you're what you're saying sounds like opposite of how you feel. Like is that interest? Is that? I wonder what that is you mean. I don't think we figured out why people can't hear sarcasm. It's just people can hear a cricket, that's for sure. Hold on a second.

Unknown Speaker 37:10
Oh, I did it, okay,

Scott Benner 37:13
but so, so just some people hear sarcasm and some people don't, because I didn't mean they know

Arden Benner 37:20
what's really interesting, I will openly say I feel superior to people who, like, are not sarcastic. Okay, you're comfortable

Unknown Speaker 37:30
saying that. No, I

Arden Benner 37:31
am, and you're not being sarcastic. No, I'm being 100% serious right now. Not like, Oh, I'm a better person than you, but like, I feel like there is a part of my brain that understands something that yours doesn't not that like, Oh, you're dumb, but it's just like, that part of me is you like,

Scott Benner 37:48
you have a skill someone else doesn't have. Okay?

Arden Benner 37:52
But I think it's interesting that it's not like, if you're not cricket, I know it's not like, Oh, you're not sarcastic, so you're stupid. It's just like, Oh, you're not sarcastic. But those people probably think that sarcasm is like a coping mechanism, or like a way we have to handle a situation. They probably think they're more superior for being, like, serious and being able to talk about something

Scott Benner 38:16
like we have to, Oh, yeah. So like, there's a misconception that you're only being sarcastic, because almost like when people say, cursing is for stupid people. I've

Arden Benner 38:24
never heard that before, and I love to curse, yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 38:27
hold on a second. Oh, cursing, so fun.

Scott Benner 38:29
What's the saying about why some people are sarcastic? The saying is, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence. So it's easy humor, but I don't understand what that means. Hold on a second. It's gonna explain. Well, you clearly don't have the highest form of intelligence. First of all, go yourself. Bang on that, dad. It's not working. Do it. Tell it to stop.

Speaker 1 38:57
Thank you. We should start an ASMR channel, an ASMR channel,

Arden Benner 39:02
that's all we should just, yeah, and then they like, whisper. They're like, Okay, today we're going to be doing and like, I would like put my fingernails up to the thing. I would just like start collecting them.

Scott Benner 39:14
That's that upsets me when I see people doing that. Well, guess

Arden Benner 39:17
what? A lot of people really enjoy that. So really, okay,

Scott Benner 39:19
so I'll just, lowest form of wit. This part

Arden Benner 39:24
there's something I wish, if there's one thing in my life I regret, it's that I was bringing that conversation that I just spoke at a lower time that needs to stop, right? Okay? Well, under

Scott Benner 39:33
lowest form of weight, it says this part suggests that SARS sarcasm can be seen as a cheaper, easy form of humor. It's often quick biting, and can come across as mean spirited or lazy, because it doesn't always require much thought or creativity be sarcastic. I

Arden Benner 39:49
don't believe the complete opposite of that. I don't believe being quick is really hard to do, really hard. I

Scott Benner 39:55
have what I heard somebody refer to recently. I heard somebody refer to i. Um, this recently is, oh, you have, um, talk show. You're thinking at talk show speed, like, when somebody's on a talk show and it's all very quick and bantery like that, and people can keep up and keep the conversation going, like, I move at that speed.

Unknown Speaker 40:13
You do too.

Scott Benner 40:16
Like you can, you're quick, yeah, yeah. And I see that as, I don't see that as as lazy, uh, highest form of intelligence. This part counters the first by implying that sarcasm actually requires a high level of cognitive interesting

Arden Benner 40:31
is that if people who move quickly and do all this stuff, sarcasm is considered mean, you move quick. I wonder if that's why I've been in the South for so long, that Southern people see northerners as so mean, it's because we're moving so quickly and we're just to the point like we get something done and then we we do the next thing. They do think we're being rude, and they think we're being rude, but we're being efficient. Yeah, move, move, move, go, go, go. And then them, when they take so long and do all this stuff, I'm like OmniPod. And then the way they speak, it sounds condescending to me because of how long they're taking to get their thought out.

Scott Benner 41:07
You think all the gaps and in when they're not talking is like a little you

Arden Benner 41:12
Yeah, a little bit. Because I would totally do that if I was like, you know, almost

Scott Benner 41:16
like they're making you stand there while they're not saying anything.

Arden Benner 41:22
Yeah, it's like, you I feel like you could walk up to a lady in the south and she'd be like, Oh, honey, I love your skirt. But if I said that to someone up here, they'd be like, you

Speaker 1 41:33
asshole, but you think she really loves your skirt. But it's hard to take that way. Yeah, it's really hard to take I

Scott Benner 41:41
understand says, Why are some people sarcastic? People who are sarcastic often have a good grasp of irony, and they are quick thinkers. They can see the incongruity between what is said and what is meant, and they use that to their advantage in communications. Sarcasm can serve as a social tool, allowing people to convey criticism, humor or disdain in a more veiled or socially acceptable way than outright confrontation. Some people use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. I don't I don't like it there as much. There. It feels dirtier

Speaker 1 42:12
to me. It's cheaper, but it's true.

Scott Benner 42:15
And then among friends or within certain social circles, sarcasm can be a way of bonding and showing affection. We heard that earlier, sarcasm can be a part of someone's natural communication style. It might be how they were raised, or the dominant form of humor in their social environment. I definitely grew up around a lot of sarcastic people, and when I don't, there are times when I'm being sarcastic in my personal life, and I stopped myself, and I think I shouldn't be talking like this, um, because I'm not trying to tax people around me and make my

Arden Benner 42:46
whole personality with certain people, especially like parents. I cannot be sarcastic around a lot of people's parents, they do not understand what I'm saying at all. Yeah. And then I'm like, Oh, you're gonna take your children away from me as

Scott Benner 43:00
their friends. Yeah. But the positives are that it can be witty and entertaining, provide a way to interject, indirectly address issues, fosters a sense of camaraderie. The negatives, it can be hurtful or misunderstood, especially if the recipient does not recognize the sarcasm. It may be seen as insincere or passive aggressive, and can erode trust and respect if overused or used inappropriately, I can see where people could find it to be passive aggressive if they didn't understand your intention. Interesting. So it says, In summary, sarcasm could be seen as low effort form of humor, but it's actually requires intelligence and social awareness. I agree I'm intelligent and socially aware. I think that I've had conversations that I mean one way that are taken completely differently by people. I think there are people in the world who have a vision of who I am that is completely incongruous with who I actually am because they don't hear the sarcasm. Do you think there are people walking around who don't really know you? I

Arden Benner 44:03
think most people don't know me. I think that even people who hear this podcast won't follow it, dude. No, that's not I was gonna say, Wow, he thinks poorly of you guys.

Unknown Speaker 44:15
That's not what I meant. Like, still

Arden Benner 44:16
don't understand me. Because, first off, this is, like, basically 35% of who I am is what I'm giving off right now, because you have to hide some of yourself. Okay, it's like, completely true, not because you're an ax murderer or something, no, just because people will interpret something wrong or right. You know, like part of entertainment is like getting people on your side a little bit, and you're trying to make them relate to you in a way. And people aren't always going to relate to like, right? They want to. They want to feel like you like. They want to be like, oh, like, we're similar. Okay, so

Speaker 1 44:51
you have to kind of like vibe with them, but that that's unrelated, so you

Scott Benner 44:57
try to match other people's energy, yeah. No, you try to give them the part of you they think that you think they can handle.

Arden Benner 45:04
Yes, because I've seen like, I've obviously been on the podcast before, and I'll see like, comments people make about an episode or whatever, and they're like, talking about me, and I'm like, wow, you have me really, completely wrong. And they're not saying anything bad, but it's just like, they're not right. Yeah, the way that they perceive me is so off. It's incredible. I recorded

Scott Benner 45:25
an episode today with a woman who's the way she thinks or almost doesn't think about me at all, even though she listens to the podcast. Was so freeing to me. I She said what she said, and I thought, This is great. I will never again. Wonder how people

Arden Benner 45:43
perceive me. I wonder how people perceive me.

Scott Benner 45:45
I realize that it doesn't matter, because so many different people are going to perceive me in so many different ways. Don't

Arden Benner 45:51
you want to know like, what it is like, how they see you? No, because

Scott Benner 45:53
different what I'm telling you is that different people see you different ways. So you're No, I know when people there are people listening, there are enough people listening to you right now while you're speaking, yeah, that you are being perceived in a multitude of ways, yeah, and in some ways that you can't even fathom. And so my point is, is that it's not worth wondering about.

Arden Benner 46:12
I know that's why. Like, sometimes I'll see like people and I don't completely agree with them, or honestly, like, I think less of them, because I'm like, wow, like, I don't agree with what you're saying or this or that, but I'm just like, I don't actually know what I'm like, you have to give them a chance, because you don't actually know, right? You don't know shit about anyone, right?

Scott Benner 46:33
Exactly. Yeah, you're probably wrong about most of the things you think about other people's intentions and their thoughts. Yeah, that's my expectation. Because if I'm holding something back, so is everybody else right? Yeah,

Arden Benner 46:47
I think the only people I'm not that way with is like, like, our family, like, I feel like I understand what our what everyone would

Scott Benner 46:54
say. I don't think that I change very drastically, depending on my surroundings. And, like you said earlier, maybe that's a problem in some places, but in one place where it helps is like, with you, or your friends come over, or Cole's friends come over, like, I think your friends find this house comfortable, yeah, because there's no pretense between us and them. Yeah, I'm not pretending to be like an adult or smarter than that. I

Arden Benner 47:20
don't change who I am. I conceal who I am.

Unknown Speaker 47:25
I don't bother doing that. So like,

Arden Benner 47:28
I'll be, I actually don't think that I've ever been 100% of who I am with anyone. I think only myself. And then I'll give like 95% of myself to people. And then I'll give like 90% of myself, or whatever, like I would say, like our family as a whole probably knows 90% of me. So

Scott Benner 47:45
this is very interesting, because I always think I've made so many episodes of the podcast, and I am genuinely talking while I'm on the podcast, like the things that I say about how I feel about people, or how I feel about helping people, that stuff's all very genuine. Yeah. And I always think I wonder if my family listened to this, if they believe this is me or not. No,

Unknown Speaker 48:07
I believe that. Yeah, it's interesting.

Scott Benner 48:09
I know. I'm never sure exactly. Wait, can

Speaker 1 48:11
I pause this to crack my neck? Why don't you just crack your neck on the microphone and then we'll stop. Go ahead. Wait. Why stop? Oh, okay, then just crack your neck. Okay. Your neck was disturbing. When we're done recording, let's

Scott Benner 48:23
go back to two minutes and and

Speaker 1 48:26
two hours, two minutes and see if we can hear it.

Scott Benner 48:31
I have to admit that on the GLP meds, I was hoping your cracking would get better, because it's, it's um, we'll

Unknown Speaker 48:37
talk about something wrong.

Scott Benner 48:39
We'll talk about on another show, but I'm seeing I'm having all these people on the podcast that are having all these different like, Revelations with their health, or on glps. It's really interesting. Can

Arden Benner 48:49
I tell you an episode I want to do? Yeah, that I just thought about like I was thinking about it like I would say 15 minutes ago. You're gonna be so confused why it just came up. Go ahead. Do you know who Bridget Mendler is?

Scott Benner 49:03
She sings a song that was popular one summer hurricane,

Arden Benner 49:06
hurricane, and she was on Disney Channel and all that. Okay, we need to just talk about Bridget Mendler lore. Is

Scott Benner 49:15
it because you don't understand it? No,

Arden Benner 49:17
it's because it's so fascinating. Okay, she is so fascinating, and it like she was on Disney Channel, but adults who are listening will really enjoy this. She's a she's a full grown adult now. She has a family, she's married, but this girl went from being like a Disney Channel sensation to going to Harvard and MIT. She has like, multiple doctorates. I think people want her to, like, run for president. It's like this whole thing that's interesting, and we need to look into her. All right, we'll do that. She wrote hit song hurricanes.

Unknown Speaker 49:58
Ready on here. Huh, really.

Scott Benner 50:03
Also at some point we're going to do, what happens when you lose weight? Where does it go?

Unknown Speaker 50:08
Okay, all right,

Scott Benner 50:10
does that sarcasm you're okay? Or were you really disappointed on me for changing the subject that harshly? No, neither of those are true. What did the okay mean? I

Arden Benner 50:21
was, I was just gonna say something else, and I didn't say so

Scott Benner 50:24
most people, when they tell me, I love when Arden's on the podcast, because I feel like I can hear her eyes roll back.

Speaker 1 50:33
When you're like, uh, that I'm not an I'm not an iron but you're not an eye roller. I know,

Arden Benner 50:39
but a lot of I'll just look at you and say, okay, but

Scott Benner 50:41
a lot of people say that to me. I can, I can feel Arden's eyes roll back in her head when you're talking wrong. This is

Arden Benner 50:49
what I'm saying. People do not understand me at all.

Scott Benner 50:51
But do we understand anybody? And does anybody understand I will see people

Arden Benner 50:56
comment things like, Oh, my kids do this to me too. I have a 14 year old who says the same thing to me, and I'm like, Oh, you don't understand. I'm kidding.

Scott Benner 51:06
What if their kids kidding? And they don't understand that. Now, if they're kid's serious, you're joking, yeah, I'm

Arden Benner 51:10
kidding. We like, I don't think people understand how similar we are. So there are things that I'm saying, and I mean it on a completely different level than what's coming out of my mouth. But they're thinking, like, oh my kid says that, but I'm like, Oh no, your kid doesn't say this, because what's coming out of my mouth is not what I'm saying right. Now,

Scott Benner 51:27
you and I are incredibly similar, yeah, the way we think, yeah, yeah, okay. All right, well, let's go kill that cricket. All right, okay, all right, we'll find it together. Thank you for doing this with me, helping bye.

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