#1273 After Dark: Wilfred

"Wilfred" has more going on than fits in a blurb. Apple podcast paid subscribers are getting this episode without bleeps.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1273 of the Juicebox Podcast

Today's episode is a an after dark with a person we're going to be calling Wilford. There's so much in here that makes this an after dark. I don't know how to introduce it. I'm just going to scan my notes and tell you that I see the words traumatic interaction at the hospital bipolar, cocaine crack. And I don't even know a way to say this. His grandfather made a pass at him when he was okay just listen or adult. But I mean, I would if I was you. Those people paying to subscribe on Apple podcasts are getting this episode today with all curse words in it, so you should check that out. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin. If you're living with type one diabetes, the afterdark collection from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction, and so much more. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored by touched by type one. Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram and of course at touched by type one.org. Check out that Programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes touched by type one.org. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom G seven, the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing people together to redefine what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Jalen, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 14. He's 29. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. To hear more stories with Medtronic champions, go to Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox or search the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform. All right, well, you're being recorded. Now. Do you want me to introduce you? Would it be easier? Or it can you do it without saying your name?

"Wilfred" 2:38
Oh, I don't mind. Go ahead. I am I'm gonna go by Wilford Brimley because I think it's hilarious and I don't care. It's I grew up in the 90s. Anyways, I'm the father of a type one diabetic who was diagnosed October of last year, or I guess two years ago. So about a year and a few months now. He's been diagnosed.

Scott Benner 3:01
Okay, Welford, that's good. Do you really want me to call you that?

"Wilfred" 3:04
I don't care what you call me. But I just think growing up in the 90s. Like, ever since he was diagnosed. I was like, I'm gonna get a tattoo that because it kind of makes me laugh.

Scott Benner 3:14
Do you have type one? No,

"Wilfred" 3:16
he does.

Scott Benner 3:17
Just your son. Okay. So and your son was diagnosed recently in the last couple years? Yes. Okay. Is the or do we want to keep his age? Like vague or do you want to?

"Wilfred" 3:25
He's four years old right now. Okay. So he's a little kid when he was diagnosed like to maybe yeah. Oh, it was just after his second birthday. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Oh, it was miserable. Yeah. I actually didn't think anything was like I'm a stay at home dad. I am around them all the time. I didn't notice the weight loss and stuff like that. And my wife was like, you know, his eyes look sunken. And he doesn't look good. He was always fussy. Alright, I might cry. But I didn't think anything of it. We called my mother in law, who is also in the medical field as is my wife and she was like, he should take him to urgent care. And we did it because he was breathing. He was having the Coos MALLRAT respirations. Which I didn't know what they were, I was like, Oh, whatever. He's gonna get over this overnight. But we took him in and the urgent care doctor was just very nonchalant. Like, I can't tell you here but you need to go to the hospital. Okay, I was like, Okay, well, my wife has work in about two hours. So I don't so I was like, she works at a hospital so I was gonna go to her hospital with him and I went and picked her up even though he was like he should probably go straight there. I was like I wouldn't picked her up and took her to work thinking nothing of it. And I was on my way to her hospital. She said I don't think we should go to my hospital. You should drop me off and you should go to another hospital that's a little bit further away. But they have a they have a peds unit. I dropped her off. I went there. They could not get the IV in after we were admitted. It's hard, it's gonna make me cry because I was like holding him down trying to while he was screaming. Sorry, no, you're okay. You know, they poked, oh my god 1213 times trying to get an IV in because his blood was like syrup. And finally they got one. And they did a bunch of tests. And this is what I don't want to say it takes me off, or I don't know how it makes me feel. But the doctor comes in. After I'm like, I'm just sitting there holding him as he's like, you know, I don't know what the hell's going on. He just drank juice for God's sake. They just gave him juice and he comes in, he goes, Well, it's a good thing. You brought him in. He has diabetes. And he turns around and walks away. I'm like,

Scott Benner 5:43
what, like walked out of the room away?

"Wilfred" 5:45
Yes. Just literally turned around and walked away. Oh, geez. I was like, oh, Kay. I don't know. I didn't know what that meant, at that point. Like, I texted my parents and my wife and I said, what happened? And my wife knew more than me. And she was like, okay, she called her coworker to come take over for her so she could come to where I was. So she got a ride from one of her other co workers, and another co worker took over like, she was very luckily, because I was like, no, just stay at work. It's fine. Like, I didn't think it was a big deal. Like we were being admitted. But I didn't know that. I thought it was like, he has diabetes. They're going to take care of them tonight. And then tomorrow, we'll go home and he's going to take like a shot a day or something. And we have to check his blood sugar. Maybe like, a few times a day. I didn't know anything about it. Yeah, sure. I understand. And my wife was like, I'm coming to the hospital. And I'm like, I don't think you should like we need the money. We're not. We're not rich. Like we're about to have another hospital bills just stay at work. And she's like, Nope, this bigger deal and you think it is okay. She's right. I had no fucking clue.

Scott Benner 6:54
I mean, it's talks, the doctor walked in and dropped something on you like that with no context and wandered out again. Yeah, yeah.

"Wilfred" 7:00
Just just left me in that. I think it was like, what felt like an hour. It was probably like two minutes. And then the nurse and the pediatric unit came down in here. She had a wheelchair. I started to put him in and she goes, No, you this is for you. I was like, Okay,

Scott Benner 7:15
great. Now I'm the problem. I'm looking at Rosie. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, cool. Listen, I feel weird calling you Welford. But if it makes you feel any better, you're in the middle of touching just call me whatever your middle is touching story. I'm going to break in on my god. Am I gonna say Wilford? I'm not gonna do that. When Artem was diagnosed in that hospital room, you know, I felt like, I don't know if anybody can, can relate to this. But I felt like the fibers inside of my chest were being torn apart. Like I was being stabbed by tiny knives from the inside out in my chest. Like, yeah, that's what it felt like. So, you know, it's understandable to be emotional, and to be, you know, needing a wheelchair because I like I did everything I could not to cry in front of her. You know what I mean? The Dexcom CGM is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and did you know the Dexcom CGM is widely covered and most patients pay $20 or less per month. The Dexcom g7 is easy to get no matter your CGM coverage, head to my link right now. dexcom.com/juice box check out all the information but scroll down to that spot where it says get a free benefits check to see if you can get started today. The Dexcom G seven features a lightning fast 30 minute warm up so you'll have more time with your numbers. And it also has a new 12 hour grace period so you can swap your sensor when it's convenient for you. The follow app allows for 10 followers that's 10 loved ones who can keep an eye on you if you want. Don't forget the clarity app to keep track of your potentially one si and your time and range. These alerts are going to help you to stay on track because the Dexcom g7 can alert you up to 20 minutes before you go low or when your glucose is too high. You can even personalize your alerts enjoy greater peace of mind with the Dexcom G seven use my link dexcom.com/juice box to find out more. This episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box. And now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion Jalen.

Speaker 1 9:26
I was going straight into high school so it was a summer getting into high school was that particularly difficult, unimaginable. You know, I missed my entire summer. So I went I was going to a brand new school. I was around a bunch of new people that I had not been going to school with. So it was hard trying to balance that while also explaining to people what type one diabetes was. My hometown did not have an endocrinologist. So I was traveling over an hour to the nearest endocrinologist for children. So you know, I outside of that I didn't have any type of support in my hometown

Scott Benner 9:59
Did you try to explain to people? Or did you find it easier just to stay private?

Speaker 1 10:04
I honestly I just held back I didn't really like talking about it. It was just, it felt like it was just an repeating record where I was saying things and people weren't understanding it. And I also was still in the process of learning it. So I just kept it to myself didn't really talk about it.

Scott Benner 10:19
Did you eventually find people in real life that you could confide in, I

Speaker 1 10:24
never really got the experience until after getting to college. And then once I graduated college, it's all I see, you know, you can easily search Medtronic champions, you see people that pop up, and you're like, wow, look at all this content. And I think that's something that motivates me started embracing more, you know, how I'm able to type one diabetes. I

"Wilfred" 10:45
wasn't emotional about the diabetes at that point, because I didn't. I didn't really know anything. I thought it was fine. I was emotional, because they were like, you know, they had an IV team in there. And they were holding like, forcefully, they were talking about bringing in a restraint table. Oh, really? They were? Yeah, they were talking about bringing in a restraint table because they couldn't get an IV and I'm sitting there as dad trying to hold him. Yeah. And he's, he's a strong little, he's so strong. They were like, even the, the IV team was like, literally, we've never had a toddler that's strong. And they've got like, 12 people around him, I'm holding him. And then after that, I was fine. I was like, Oh, he's just, he's got diabetes. We'll figure this out. I'm traumatized from what just happened, but we're gonna this is gonna be easy. And then we went, you know, I won't give my location away too much. So we did go to the Barbara Davis Center. And that's when I really was like, I learned about it. On her braids just falls on your fucking chest. Yes.

Scott Benner 11:43
Yeah. All all the information keeps coming and coming. And it's, it's more and more overwhelming the start putting the pieces together about, like, short term and long term health concerns.

"Wilfred" 11:55
Yeah, that was the first time my wife was like, the strong one. And I was bawling my eyes out. And she's just like, I'll get the information. We're gonna figure this out. And yeah, she she was strong for me,

Scott Benner 12:08
thankfully. Well, that's wonderful. Yeah. And let's say, and you were a stay at home dad. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 12:14
And I Yeah, and I am, I wasn't planning on being one for this long. But after he was diagnosed, and my wife was pregnant when he was diagnosed, so once he was diagnosed, we made the decision that it's just gonna continue doing this until they're both in school full time. So I got at least another six years of this.

Scott Benner 12:33
You, you and I have a lot in common there. You know, I did not think I was going to be a stay at home father, as long as I was either. That was definitely not the plan. And then this all happen are like, okay, I guess I should say

"Wilfred" 12:44
it's a little bit depressing. Being a stay at home dad, we don't like you, you know, it's to lack of adult interaction. Is it easy to add this? Yeah,

Scott Benner 12:54
you have trouble with it? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 12:56
I've got severe social anxiety, I would call it. I, like literally can't even take my kids to the park if I don't smoke some weed. So I'm a I'm a recreational marijuana user. How

Scott Benner 13:10
does the social anxiety present? Like, what happens if you try to go out?

"Wilfred" 13:14
Oh, God, I don't, I just don't even try. Because my mind is like, well, you know, what's, you know, she's just imagines just like, I don't know, like, every time, I think about going out, and I haven't had any sort of like, wheat, I'm like, this is just that somebody's gonna want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to them. I want to go on a hike with my kids. And I don't want to talk to anybody. But so there's always people on the trail, and most of those people are friendly. And I want to be friendly, but I really don't want to talk to people. So if I smoke a little bit of weed who kind of helps?

Scott Benner 13:50
So tell me about I want to be friendly, but I don't want to, like

"Wilfred" 13:54
I'm not going to be mean to you. And so I'm not trying to say that. I'm going to be mean to somebody but I if I don't know I don't like talking to people.

Scott Benner 13:59
What? Okay, what what you're talking to me? Are you having trouble now?

"Wilfred" 14:04
Not so much.

Scott Benner 14:05
But are you Hi? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay,

"Wilfred" 14:10
it makes me more social. I don't like I don't like talking to people. If I'm like, myself, I'm like, very withdrawn. I just want to be with my family just with my kids. Like, that's it. I don't want anybody else around, including extended family.

Scott Benner 14:24
Did you have that going on as a child?

"Wilfred" 14:26
I have not so much. I think it kind of started in my late teens probably I got I just was like, kind of got fed up with people. Like I started to realize how much the world is kind of not as awesome as they want you to think it is when you're growing up.

Scott Benner 14:41
It's something happens specifically.

"Wilfred" 14:45
A lot of stuff like family

Scott Benner 14:47
trouble or money or,

"Wilfred" 14:49
you know, my mom's been gone since I was like four. She get lost or did she leave? She has her own addiction problems as though pretty much me and all of my brothers, which I'm the only one who acknowledges that I have one. So it's kind of funny ever all my brothers are in the same boat as me, but they're like, I'm fine. And I'm like, No, you're not. But yeah, so we all have that problem. My mom has been pretty much out of my life since I was apparently six, but I really don't have any memories of her at all. So the My earliest memory of her I think is when I was like nine or 10. Maybe I say, what was her addiction? Right now? It's currently crack is the new one. Oh, yeah. So it started off with alcohol, then, you know, cocaine, and then I made the decision to live with her when I was like 19. I was like, well, she likes to drink and smoke. Like, I'm like that I like to drink smoke. I went to live with her. I was like that she was not she was way. She's off the deep end like she does. She's She's professional. She's also bipolar. So okay, if you want to go into the other autoimmune things in the family, that's definitely one of them that runs in mind to your

Scott Benner 16:00
mom's bipolar. She started with booze went to coke. currently doing crack. How old? Is she?

"Wilfred" 16:08
60. Wow, look at her gone. 60 older than that. Maybe? I don't I don't actually know. But she's in her 60s.

Scott Benner 16:15
Does she hold a job? And has she? No, she's

"Wilfred" 16:17
never held a job. She has had jobs, but she has, you know, she, like six weeks or something? You know, she loses it.

Scott Benner 16:26
Do you think she has that anxiety about going out in public? Oh,

"Wilfred" 16:29
yes, definitely. Okay. And I'm wondering like, she's diagnosed bipolar. I'm not I definitely could see a not suit. Not as severe as my mom. But I could see I might have some sort of, you know, something. A little something. I don't know if there's degrees to bipolar illness or not. Bipolar

Scott Benner 16:46
perhaps? Yeah. Okay. Do you?

"Wilfred" 16:51
My brother definitely does. But whatever. We don't need to get into that. Right.

Scott Benner 16:55
So you have brothers who all have different addiction issues?

"Wilfred" 16:58
Yes.

Scott Benner 16:59
How about your father? Is he just in a corner crying? What's going on there?

"Wilfred" 17:02
Oh, 100%. Yes. My father is a saint. My dad is the I don't I don't know. If I were him. I would not be alive. That's for sure. I asked myself years ago, I don't know how he puts up with us. And he says I'm the best one. So whatever. I'm cool with that.

Scott Benner 17:16
It feels like we've set a low bar, but I hear what you're saying. Exactly. It's a very low bar that I remember your crack mom. Yeah. And you're doing way better than her. Thank you, dad. Yeah, I appreciate it. Just overreaching. But put your dad doesn't have any addiction issues.

"Wilfred" 17:32
No, no, my dad is it outside of the family is very clean. You know, he's a preacher's son. So happy you end up with your mom. Church. That's hilarious. Yeah, we don't want to get into the my feelings on religion.

Scott Benner 17:51
I love that your dad's at church as a young man all like earnest and everything in your mom's there like, oh, I can get these demons out of my head. And he's like, That girl's pretty.

Unknown Speaker 17:59
Like, here

Unknown Speaker 18:00
we go.

Unknown Speaker 18:01
Oh my god.

Scott Benner 18:02
Wow, what a match. Okay, so. And how many? How many siblings? Do you have? Like your one of how many? I am one of one of four. Okay, is there any type one in there?

"Wilfred" 18:11
There is not any type one on my side on my wife's. My wife has some distant cousins that are type one. Okay. Her dad is type two. My mom has the bipolar. Her uncle has the bipolar. Yeah, that's about it. Oh, and she's also PCOS. She has PCOS.

Scott Benner 18:33
Okay. That's a lot. I'm processing. Sorry. Also, I'm trying to stop from asking you like how close to like that Dave Chappelle character is your mom, but I don't want to do that. So

"Wilfred" 18:43
I haven't seen her in a very long time. But my brothers said it's pretty bad. No

Scott Benner 18:47
kidding. Like really? Like, just strung out. Terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, first of all, I'm sorry. That sucks. Like so. Okay. Honestly, I don't I appreciate that. This is your been your situation for a long time. But still, it's your mom and you know, you could have got like a different mom and you maybe wouldn't have to go through some of this so it sounds well I got an awesome stepmom now. So nice. Oh, your dad didn't strike out the second time. Oh, no, my dad. My dad. Good.

"Wilfred" 19:14
Good TV. We ran off a few girlfriends and then we decided on one we liked and he was like, Are you sure? We were like yeah, we're not gonna run this one

Scott Benner 19:20
off your boys decided she he that one. You're allowed to stay lady like Okay, great. It

"Wilfred" 19:26
actually happened there were there were meetings in the bedrooms of like, Alright, how are we gonna run?

Scott Benner 19:30
By the way? What a lottery winner she is stuck with you guys.

"Wilfred" 19:35
Oh, no. Yeah, she I won't get too far into it. But she was she was a profession lens to she's a lion tamer lens to it. No, not so much. But I think she knew what she was getting into because she's seen it so I say we might we might not be as bad as what she's probably seen in her profession.

Scott Benner 19:54
I said in her profession, she locks down nucular explosion sites. That's what you know, she

"Wilfred" 20:01
deals with mental health. No. Family Matters. Oh, I

Scott Benner 20:05
say family matters, not the TV show with Urkel. Yeah. She wasn't a producer on that or anything. will say divorce court. Oh, gotcha. All right. So she Yeah, I see what you're saying. Okay. So you have what you have going on. And this is before the kids even like your wife and you, like go out? Yeah, you smoke a little she knows that's gonna happen. That kind of stuff. Yeah. And

"Wilfred" 20:29
my wife doesn't smoke, but she's a proponent of me smoking. If I'm if I'm getting irritated or something. She's like, go take a hit real quick.

Scott Benner 20:36
Okay, do you actually smoke or do you like, like, dry? vape? Or how do you do it?

"Wilfred" 20:42
No, I smoke out of a bog. I just basically take one big bowl every two or three hours. That

Scott Benner 20:50
keeps you Okay. Yep. You're not worried about the bipolar thing in the the weed smoking and stuff like that? Oh,

"Wilfred" 20:57
no. I think, you know, my wife keeps me in check. If I was ever to be worried about then she would. She'd be there. I'm very lucky in that aspect. Can

Scott Benner 21:07
I ask what's the THC? THC level of the weed you smoke? Do you know what percent it is?

"Wilfred" 21:12
I mean, like, between 18 and 33.

Scott Benner 21:18
Okay. The 30 shut you off pretty good or no?

"Wilfred" 21:21
Oh, I mean, I've been smoking since I was 18. So not really. Yeah, I guess about 17. So I it's a daily thing. So I've got a pretty high tolerance. Okay, now those people who smoke that oil and stuff I kind of I've done that and the dabs. I like it. I'm not gonna say it puts me in the couch or anything like that. But it's it's not a I don't enjoy it as much as the flower.

Scott Benner 21:46
Okay. It was called dab. So that what they are? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. To call them God, should I bring up every time so he brings that up? Like, there were the kids running around dabbing all the time. Like I somebody said to me one time, like, do you think their parents know that the thing they're doing is mimicking the cough from when you dab? And I was like, I bet you they don't? Bet you they don't. So okay, so the weed helps you. How is the weed now that it's legal? Is it better or worse? Oh, it's

"Wilfred" 22:15
so much better. consistent? It's yeah, the consistency is what's what's better. Okay. You know, it's not, you're not getting a break and for breaking out steeds and

Scott Benner 22:28
the horrors you had to grow up with not smoking

"Wilfred" 22:30
out of a coke can pipes are very accessible.

Scott Benner 22:34
Now, in your note to me, funny, you don't mention weed and your note to me?

"Wilfred" 22:37
Yeah, no, because I also have an alcohol problem. Okay.

Scott Benner 22:41
I also have an alcohol problem. Are you? Would you consider yourself an alcoholic?

"Wilfred" 22:45
Yes. 100%. Well, I'm an addict, which is, you know, people are like distinctive about alcoholic. If you are addicted to something, you're an addict. So you're an addict. That's how

Scott Benner 22:55
you think of yourself. Like there are certain things you do, you're gonna get stuck to it. Alright, so are you drinking currently? Yes. Okay. So,

"Wilfred" 23:04
I wasn't when I signed up for this, I was doing really good. And I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go on and have it and I was like, and then you know, things happen.

Scott Benner 23:13
How old were you when you started drinking?

"Wilfred" 23:16
I didn't start drinking till I was 20. Oh, okay. I was actually believe it or not. When I before I was 17. I was the goody goody of the family. Like, you know, just I always had a girlfriend did good in school. I would call my dad and say, hey, my brothers are smoking weed out back because I wanted them to leave so that I could have the house with my girlfriend. You know, I was the tattletale back then. And then my long term girlfriend broke up with me and my brother was like, Hey, man.

Scott Benner 23:43
Did you tattle to get tail? Is that what you're saying? To me?

"Wilfred" 23:46
That's exactly what

Scott Benner 23:48
I thought you were saying. Okay, so I wanted to make sure you were like, I'm going to say they were smoking weed so they get out of the house so I can have the house to myself. I didn't think it was to make popcorn and watch a movie. I wasn't sure. So you don't start drink you smoking weed for two years before you're drinking? Yeah.

"Wilfred" 24:05
Okay. And I was doing really good in those two years held down a job was was great. And then I decided I wanted to start traveling. I guess at that point, that's when I really just like kind of hit went off the rails. Actually, I forget about a year or two before that where I lived with a heroin addict.

Scott Benner 24:25
Was that a roommate or a partner? That

"Wilfred" 24:28
was a best friend from childhood, who is still my best friend today and he's clean and sober. But yeah, he was probably the worst addict I've ever met. But I moved out of my parents house because I was smoking weed. I had a job. And my parents were like, well, you can't smoke weed here. I'll just go live with my friend Edie because his parents let him do heroin. Like whatever.

Scott Benner 24:54
Wait, did his parents really let him do heroin?

"Wilfred" 24:56
No, I didn't let him but they You weren't stopping him like

Scott Benner 25:02
you actually lived in his, in his childhood home with him. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 25:07
And I believe I had this like grandiose idea like, I'm taking care of him because when he would like, you know, he Odede once or twice, and I would be, you know, he lived, but I gave myself credit for that. It was like some stupid, like, I did something even though I'm just living. I'm literally just kind of like

Scott Benner 25:23
me. I'm the adult here. I'm handling things. Keep it everything up, right? Yeah, he should let her snorting it or what was he doing? shooting it?

"Wilfred" 25:31
Yeah, I remember he comes to me one time with a fucking syringe. He's got duct tape around the plunger. He's got it lubricated with chapstick. And he's like, I can't get it to push down and I need your help, man. It's already in the vein. And I'm like, I'll admit I actually tried to help him and I passed out while trying to help him. Never do that again.

Scott Benner 25:49
Wait, the the process of trying to push on the plunger like made you nauseous? It made

"Wilfred" 25:54
me pass out and he literally was like, in my mind. I

Scott Benner 25:56
was like, what if this kills him? Because then I did it. Yeah, I

"Wilfred" 25:59
just I just fainted. I've had some traumatic moments in my life. I guess you could.

Speaker 2 26:04
I was gonna say, Man, I think I know why you don't want to go outside. Jeez, that's I don't want to say that's insane. Because it seems derivative. But that's insane. Yeah, yeah. You think it's very, like wired in you write

"Wilfred" 26:20
all this? Yes, it's its genetic. I definitely believe that. Its genetic. I don't know. It also could not be because a lot of weird things have happened that could could have put me here. I mean, my grandpa has hit on me before. So that's another thing you could add to the story. I'm sorry. traumatization.

Scott Benner 26:35
Sexually, your grandfather made an advanced Georgia. Okay, can you tell me what that was? He has

"Wilfred" 26:43
Parkinson's for, like 16 years before he passed and I was a caretaker for him. I like the caretaker role before I fell into alcohol. Actually, that caretaker role is probably what if I look back on it, that's when I really started drinking, like very heavily is when I was taking care of them. A lot for a young person. There was one Yeah, there was one time when you know, he's can't stand up on its own and stuff like that. And I was picking them up and just kind of, I was like, Is there anything I can get you before bed? And he said, just put his arm towards my crotch? And he said, Yeah, I want you and I was like, alright, grandpa, we're gonna get you to bed. Now. This is okay. This is too much. And he can't tell your family about that. Because then, you know, your parents are like, they don't want your parents to look at their ad that way. Like, you know, you just kind of have to tell your therapist that and your sheriff just is like, oh,

Scott Benner 27:37
you should start doing heroin. No.

"Wilfred" 27:39
That's what your fellow therapists know. That's my that's my go out plan. You know, tell you're getting out of here.

Scott Benner 27:44
Well, we have fun. So after your grandfather says you have a pretty mouth or whatever. He said. What do you do with that? Like, you're 20

"Wilfred" 27:54
i right? I've taught yeah, that's, uh, yeah, it's approximately how old I was. I just kind of just laugh it off. I told him I told my oldest brother. And that's it was he was the only one that would understand. He kind of laughed at me with it. He was like, he was like, dude, grandpa's old and he's delusional. And there's a lot of things that there's a there's some, there's a lot going on there. There's a lot of things going on on that side of the family. Well, there's some suspect that you know, that marriage might have just been a cover up for some homosexuality back in the day.

Scott Benner 28:28
Oh, you think Grandpa? You think grandpa took on a lady who is your grandma and made a family to cover his?

"Wilfred" 28:36
I mean, they're not too far off on the family tree. Oh, they know

Scott Benner 28:39
that you think they're? They're kind of related ish? No,

"Wilfred" 28:42
there's like second or third cousins? What did they claim they didn't know until after they got married? Are you going to say

Scott Benner 28:49
anything? That doesn't make me make the face that has me caught between crying and laughing? Every time you thought like everything you say I go. I know you can't see me. But my mouth is open. I stopped breathing and I can't decide, am I gonna laugh or be horrified?

"Wilfred" 29:04
You can laugh. It's

Scott Benner 29:07
Jesus. I really appreciate you coming on the podcast who I want to say that. I really appreciate you coming on the podcast, by the way. Thank you.

"Wilfred" 29:14
I figured I've got something somebody's gone through.

Scott Benner 29:16
I don't know about that one. That was I mean, I'm sure it's happened to other people. But my goodness, that's something else. My grandfather was just like mean.

"Wilfred" 29:25
Yeah, no. Yeah, it was a preacher. Very nice. He

Scott Benner 29:30
was afraid he was a preacher too.

"Wilfred" 29:31
He was a preacher. Yep. Oh, God. Hold on.

Scott Benner 29:36
Hold on, hold on. Do I know them? No. I'm absorbing everything. You think that sounds familiar? There's a lady on here two months ago said that her preacher father used to go to like, bondage and like sadomasochistic dungeons. You heard that one love that episode was covered every episode. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So everybody should listen to every episode that okay, all right. I don't know. Are we gonna get to the point here we are right? So, I mean this your backstory is taking half an hour. I don't feel like we're anywhere near getting through it. But okay, so I what we're gonna talk. Well,

"Wilfred" 30:07
we didn't get through post diagnose your poor kids still

Scott Benner 30:11
in the hospital in the story Jesus got skip the rest of my child. Yeah, well, I think we've established who you are and why maybe you're that person that's good. Yeah. So you're I mean, you're a would you call yourself a functioning alcoholic or do you do blackout drunk? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 30:29
no, I'm very high functioning. I don't blackout. I don't drink hard liquor unless,

Scott Benner 30:36
unless it's Thursday, I don't know, what

"Wilfred" 30:38
are you gonna say unless there's, you know, unless there's an excuse to sometimes if I'm watching hockey, my wife's not work and you know, then fine. But, you know, I stick to beer 99.9% of the time,

Scott Benner 30:49
you couldn't have an ice cream sandwich while you're watching the hockey game or something like that, like, there would be nothing

"Wilfred" 30:54
that could. Like, it just calms my nerves a little bit when I and it's, it's sad. And, um, but I'm working on it. And when me and my wife are getting through this together, and I'm not, that's what it that's really, a big thing that I came on here to say is like, if somebody else is going through what I'm going through, like, don't be silent about it. Because I thought for sure I was going to come clean with my wife about my problem. And she was going to be like, just, you know, alright, well, I'm either gonna go to rehab, or you're gonna leave and she's like, No, we're gonna get through this together. We're always like, how long have you been together? Married? Oh, five years this month. When you get married? Does

Scott Benner 31:33
she know you're an addict?

"Wilfred" 31:36
Oh, I think she probably did. Yeah, I mean, I told her before the before we got married. There were some because we had our we had our first son. Oh, I got

Scott Benner 31:47
you. I was like, why we got married? Because I know girls, man. That's the thing. They would go out. Look over there. Then they leave while you're looking. Yeah. So um, no.

"Wilfred" 31:56
We knew each other for a while. And then she got pregnant and she thought I was gonna leave and I was like, Oh, shit. Like, I was literally when I met her. I was living in a van. I was living in a cargo van. You like the you know, the? Like paint vans?

Scott Benner 32:10
Yeah, same as the ones that pedophiles use to get kids with? Yeah, when I

"Wilfred" 32:16
met her I was I had broken up with my ex I called my dad and and like, I don't have anywhere to live and I can't afford rent. But you know what I could afford if you helped me with a down payment. And I got I ended up getting a van and was living in Florida just going I was living behind where I worked. And just like showering at the beach, like just doing living life. And then I met her. And we were together for, I don't know, months, not not a year, but over six months. And I had already basically proposed kind of as a joke because we were together for so long. And I was like, I think you this is gonna stick. And then she got pregnant, and she thought I was gonna leave and I'll say no, like, the next day I traded in my van for a minivan. I was like, I wasn't planning on this, but I'm not gonna let my I'm not gonna she I was like, What are your plans? She goes, I'm not getting rid of it. I was like, Okay, well, then I'm not gonna let the kid not have a dad. Like I

Scott Benner 33:17
say something as a public service announcement that you shouldn't take as a judgement at all. This is just for everybody listening. This has nothing to do with you. And you know, we're gonna make two versions of this episode. If you're subscribed right now on Apple podcasts. You'll hear this unedited. But if you're not this, a lot of this part's kind of probably be beeped out. But ladies, this is for me to you. Don't let a boy who lives in a van finish inside of you. There. There. I've done it. Well, yeah, okay.

"Wilfred" 33:45
In my own defense, Ed, she told me that she was

Scott Benner 33:51
Alright, hey, hold on, cuz

"Wilfred" 33:53
she was she had PCOS. She was working to pee. She has PCOS. She was working like a per diem schedule. So it was all over the place. After we started dating regularly. She kind of got she got a normal shift at work, not per diem. And she kind of started to regulate and I started to make jokes like you're gonna get pregnant, and she was just like, No, I'm infertile. No, I wish we I know. You've talked about people taking GLP ones and getting pregnant because they don't think that they can give fertile Well, I think that's what happens. Just without the GLP one. Here's

Scott Benner 34:23
another public service announcement. This one's for boys, boys. If girls tell you they can't get pregnant, don't finish inside of them. There. I'm just I don't know how else that they help you all this is a very simple idea. It was

"Wilfred" 34:35
the best thing I ever did. I don't think I'd be alive. If I

Scott Benner 34:40
didn't knock this girl up in your van you're saying you don't think you'd be alive right now. Tell me about that. No, no girl by the way. Did it happen in the van?

"Wilfred" 34:47
No. Didn't happen to the van. Pretty sure it was the shower but

Scott Benner 34:51
but was the shower behind a Home Depot or something? It was in her apartment. Okay. Yeah. Shower is a great place to have sex.

"Wilfred" 35:02
Sometimes it depends on sometimes the angle is hard. But yeah. If

Scott Benner 35:07
it's hard, then the angle is easy. Now. So see what happened. Like somebody said to me, Hey, don't bleep yourself in this one. And everyone's gonna be like, is this the guy I'm listening to about diabetes? They need to Shut the front door. So anyway, so being seriously, you think having a child really helped you? Yeah, definitely told me about that. If

"Wilfred" 35:31
my son wasn't born, I think I would have gone on. I don't know, if me and my wife would have got married I definitely would never have sold my van. I was like, I had a moped, I was driving around. You know, I was on Tinder. Just getting tail left and right, the best way to put it, but I settled down when I met her, and then she got pregnant, and it was done. But before that, if she didn't get pregnant, I don't know if we I just think I don't think she I don't think she would have stayed with me as this thing.

Scott Benner 36:03
That's very honest of you to say,

"Wilfred" 36:05
I think she would, she would have left me I would have gone back to doing my, you know, whatever, go on.

Scott Benner 36:13
I'm certain I'm still married because my wife was like, if I want another kid, I want them to all look the same. That's pretty. So I'm pretty certain that's why I'm here. Yeah. Plus, I do a good job around the house and stuff like that. But I hear what you're saying. Okay, so, and listen, I think that's very honest. And probably not unfair. Because I don't think there are a lot of ladies running around going. You know who I want to settle down with the guy in the van. Do you want to apologize now for ruining her life or no? She

"Wilfred" 36:38
misses her family. She doesn't miss Florida. Yeah, I don't care what Florida

Scott Benner 36:42
stuff also. This story has a very Florida man feel to it.

"Wilfred" 36:47
Oh, yeah, there. We could go into way more Florida stories. But yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 36:52
that's a state where, by the way, now there's a upcoming job industry where people are collecting Iguana is off of golf courses. Yeah, so

"Wilfred" 36:59
Exactly. Yeah,

Scott Benner 37:00
that shouldn't be a job.

"Wilfred" 37:02
Yeah, we quit selling them at the store. I worked at a pet store down there and we quit selling because there were too many

Scott Benner 37:09
people were just walking outside and grabbing one if they wanted one. I don't need to keep an iguana. I can see them outside of my door. Wow, geez. Yeah, it's another world. Some parts of Florida right are just different. Okay, so you've got this new diagnosis. I'm sorry. Is this your first? It's your first child because your wife's pregnant at the time of the diagnosis? Right?

"Wilfred" 37:29
Yes. First child wife is pregnant of probably like, she's four or five months pregnant when we get the diagnosis.

Scott Benner 37:36
By the way, do you get pregnant the second time on purpose? Or was she under the impression it wasn't gonna happen again? Well, we

"Wilfred" 37:40
were very, very much on purpose. We we have tried. had been trying for a long time. I saw a couple miscarriages and then I'm sorry, last one finally stuck.

Scott Benner 37:50
Okay. How romantic now? So, there you are in the hospital. You know, you're you're coping with drinking and weed. And now there's this incredible like, actually,

"Wilfred" 38:04
I wasn't I wasn't drinking at that time for weeks for about four weeks. And then he got diagnosed. And I think it was like two days, you know, yeah. Anybody in recovery will understand how easy it is to fall back. And when

Scott Benner 38:21
you weren't drinking, how did you accomplish that? How did you get to that spot?

"Wilfred" 38:24
I was I was very scheduled in what I did. I was going to a at the time, I should probably get back into that. But you know, right now I'm kind of focused on trying to sleep with a new baby instead of that. Do you

Scott Benner 38:39
think AAA would be valuable for you?

"Wilfred" 38:42
I find friends there that I wish I could get out with but I don't have like I don't actually like AAA because it's very you know, you need to find your higher power and I'm like

Scott Benner 38:56
you don't want yeah, I found that Yeah, yeah.

"Wilfred" 39:00
Thanks i Higher Power is me because I feel like I'm you know, I want to give myself the credit if I do something good. I don't want to give some fictional character on the sky credit for something that I do like

Scott Benner 39:14
have you tried to like

"Wilfred" 39:17
change it about people who give God credit about shit the doctors do I don't want to I don't want to get

Scott Benner 39:24
my I tell you what the part about the Superbowl I hate when somebody Thanks, God. That's your that's the hill you're gonna die on here for that.

Unknown Speaker 39:32
No, no. You know, I

"Wilfred" 39:34
you know, I was forced to go to church three times a week until I was 16. I kind of bit me bad enough.

Scott Benner 39:43
Alright, well, but my question about this is like, can you separate yourself from your life for a minute and look at yourself, like from a third party perspective? And like, tell yourself like, what is it I think that person should be doing? Yeah.

"Wilfred" 40:00
Yeah, that's easy. Is this I know what I should be doing. Yeah. And I know and I'm, I'm glad to do it. Because I don't what are the things mainly to quit drinking, and to, uh, I need to make myself a schedule again for things to do throughout the day, so I'm not just sitting there because for a long time after the diagnosis, and I would still say probably to this day, some days, I just stare at the sugar pixel or the, you know, I just I get a little bit obsessed over it. It's kind of my new addiction, which I should adopt, but I gotta kick the other ones and get this one into high gear. Although you know, how much higher Can I go? I'm doing pretty good with

Scott Benner 40:46
his with his blood sugar.

"Wilfred" 40:47
I don't think I think if I was where I was at, and I wasn't taking care of his diabetes, she's just left me by now to she doesn't like I can take her two kids as long as one doesn't have died. But she relies on me for this for that aspect of it.

Scott Benner 41:01
Now she's really stuck with you. I got you. I might. Yeah, you're like I'm not going anywhere. I got a place to live. Alright, well for it's not riding in the van ever again. Now. Wilford? No, Wilfred is gonna get a van again. Yeah, you're gonna need one, honestly. Okay, so I'm sorry. So he's diagnosed. This picture drinking back in? Is it like, like, Hey, do you drink like you smoke like you say you smoke like to moderate yourself. But are

"Wilfred" 41:31
you times you know, I enjoy breakfast beer sometimes. But most of the time we get up have coffee, and then I won't have one till like 11 or noon. And then it's like one every two or three hours. You know what I mean? Like I don't

Scott Benner 41:43
It's B and it's beer. Yeah, it's

"Wilfred" 41:45
it's Coors Light.

Scott Benner 41:47
I say are we saying Pabst Blue Ribbon are what are we talking about here? It's very,

"Wilfred" 41:50
you know, it's very light content. So it's not like I'm getting blackout drunk. But I'm, I definitely know what's not good for me. I just keep doing it. Because it's a habit. You know?

Scott Benner 42:00
It's you do with 12 pack a day? Yeah, no, no, maybe eight on a, like,

"Wilfred" 42:10
on a Hockey night. But I don't drink that fast until hockey starts and then I have like two during the game and then I go to that eight

Scott Benner 42:17
beers. Six or seven bong hits a day. Yeah. Okay. And you're functioning and taking care of the kids. Everything's okay there. Yep. All right. But you believe yourself to be an addict and you don't think you should be drinking percent? Okay. 100. It's

"Wilfred" 42:31
not well, it's not good for my body. Yeah, no.

Scott Benner 42:33
Well, I didn't think we were up to that part yet. But yeah, that's right. Right. But I'm talking about like, just being functional. Like,

"Wilfred" 42:41
it's the that's the sad part. I know. My wife's probably out there listening. She's in the other room. She's probably listen to be like, Ah, whatever. But that's the fucked up part about being an actor is like, once you're an addict, like if you start a habit. It's like, you don't even want to do it anymore. But it's habit.

Scott Benner 42:58
Yeah, no, I've heard people talk about having addictive natures and they avoid stuff like that and just pour it and other stuff. Because it because we can listen, it's nice to all sit around and say, You know what you should do should go to therapy. You should stop doing that. But but but I mean, in the meantime, you got to live every minute. That's that exists. So So you instead of swapping drinking for the diabetes management, you just added it. Yep. Okay, so now you have three things you're addicted to?

"Wilfred" 43:24
Yes.

Scott Benner 43:25
Is there anything else?

"Wilfred" 43:26
Well, you know, I don't I wouldn't call leading attention because it's more like a meditation for me, I think. Okay, the alcohol is an addiction and people who are like, they say they're California silver, like, I don't want to No disrespect to those people or whatever. But the people who drink and say they're California silver. I don't. I don't that's not my version of California silver. Like

Unknown Speaker 43:47
I thought California silver

"Wilfred" 43:47
was just weed. Okay, so maybe it is okay. I thought I heard somebody say one time that they only have beers, and they don't drink liquor, and they say, Oh, it's just beer and wheat. And I'm like, I don't subscribe to that being actually silver. Listen,

Scott Benner 44:01
if you were eating a milk, a coconut milk yogurt every two hours. I tell you how to addiction. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't I don't care

"Wilfred" 44:09
wife has a shopping addiction. So look

Scott Benner 44:11
at you don't like it. Let's throw it this way. Now. That lady's gonna make us go broke. Have you ever said anything? Once I came back in the house from the front door and I said, Hey, the UPS guy said Can you slow down his back hurts. My wife didn't like that at all. I thought it was hilarious. Also, the UPS guy did not say that. But he looked like he wanted to. So

"Wilfred" 44:37
I have said something to the Amazon delivery driver before? Yes.

Scott Benner 44:41
Can you stop coming here police.

"Wilfred" 44:45
Like, I was like it's the first door or I was like second door on the left.

Scott Benner 44:48
She's right over there. She's waiting for you. Any like,

"Wilfred" 44:52
I watched him and he went there and he dropped it off and I was like, Yo,

Scott Benner 44:55
does your wife enable you? Like are you in a codependent right relationship.

"Wilfred" 45:00
Ah, you know, to a degree I would say

Scott Benner 45:04
Can I say something? I don't mean I'm gonna say something because we're speaking very plainly but I don't mean a pejoratively. But is she fucked up to? Oh, no.

"Wilfred" 45:13
Well,

Scott Benner 45:14
she's your dad on this in this story not

"Wilfred" 45:17
on not on the same level

Scott Benner 45:19
not on the same okay, but she's been but like, is there some? How do I put this? Is you being fucked up family dysfunction being fucked up comforting to her because it makes her feel better about herself. No,

"Wilfred" 45:32
I don't think that's the thing so okay. Now she's if I ever get too out of line she you know, there's a reason she's the one that works. She wears the shoes, she wears the pants in the in the relationship?

Scott Benner 45:46
Well, I mean, if she is, there's one of the reasons you're a stay at home dad because of the social anxiety? No,

"Wilfred" 45:51
because that's one of the social, like you'll get. So if I go to a party, I clam up and I'm in the corner. But if I'm at work, and I'm doing something that I'm like making money, like I feel productive, like I'm, for some reason, like, I don't need any sort of substance I, when I work, I'm very social.

Scott Benner 46:09
Well, then do we not think getting you a job is a good idea? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 46:14
we do. Okay, it's kind of a hard, we're in a hard position right now. Because my wife makes decent money, we're in a very expensive area to live. The jobs that I could get would not pay, like even for daycare. So it's kind of like,

Scott Benner 46:33
what about a work from home thing? Is there something you get part time that you do from home that would give you a little bit of like, have that good feeling.

"Wilfred" 46:40
I've thought about that. And I've looked into it. And I don't know if I'd be able to stay focused, I need something that I really like, you can just do it whenever you want. Like, you don't have to have scheduled hours. It's just whenever you want to work, you come on and do it. And I'm like, I that's like what I would do. Because, you know, I got one kid under one and the four year old only goes to preschool 10 hours a week so far. So I'm

Scott Benner 47:04
gonna sound like I don't understand from it. And maybe I don't maybe I'm just trying to like help you paint a picture for the people listening who might not understand. But what if I said just fucking do it? Like, like, oh, yeah, be an adult and do it. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, could you? Could you push through it? Or would it cause a different problem? Like, I don't know if I I don't know if I could like focus on the job. You just said like, I have to tell you that every day in my life. I wish I was doing something else. And I don't just mean while making the podcast. I mean, since I've been an adult. I had to go to a sheetmetal shop. It was horrible. I fucking did it. I got I cut lawns for a while. It was horrible. I did. I had to collect people's debts, which made me feel terrible. I fucking did it. Like, do you mean like, there are days that I come in here? And I'm like, Oh, God, I've got to, like, record all these ads, edit these things together. Put them up. call these people. Send out these invoices. Do this thing here. I gotta go pay my taxes. I don't want to do any of that. I do it every day. Like what's the difference?

"Wilfred" 48:00
I think it's it's really my wife schedule. Like she says she works overnights. And she does 12 hour shifts. And so I'm kinda like, during those days, I'm awake all night and all day.

Scott Benner 48:20
Because you're trying to be awake for blood sugars. In

"Wilfred" 48:23
the beginning, that's what it was. Now it's because of of the baby. Okay, well, because op five. You know, they we get pretty good overnights most of the time. Great. It's the baby really quick. She does not sleep through the night at all. Never have doesn't do it. Which I'm getting used to. But she's almost one. I

Scott Benner 48:45
shall get there though. Exactly. Yeah. So So you need a different schedule. You need some sleep. I mean, the beer thing I don't know. Like I don't I you know, I don't have any, like deep insights about No, you're not to drink alcohol. Listen, I know some people who drink exactly like you. Do. You know what I mean? And they actually ate beers. They You look like a piker to them. Yeah, exactly, man, but they're but they're alcoholics for 100% of their functioning alcoholics will need to Yeah, and and but. But for every one of them that actually makes it through their life. There's a ton of them that don't, and it still has a lot of impact on personality and interpersonal relationships. It's gonna it's gonna 100% Fuck your kids up. Like, oh, yeah, growing up the child of an alcoholic isn't a legit problem. Yeah, I

"Wilfred" 49:37
don't even because I don't you know, it's not like, it doesn't make me I'm not an angry alcoholic or anything. I've never, you know, that's not good. But I don't even want my kids to just see the habit of it. Like yeah, but

Scott Benner 49:49
it's not that there's like a real there's a real kind of like, diagnoseable repeatable thing that happens to like children of alcoholics have certain personalities, like they don't know what to do. expect they're always on their toes. They think something's gonna go wrong. Like that's, you know, and then with your background, I don't I mean, you seem like a great guy. Like, you don't seem like you want to throw that on your kids. So no. Yeah, I mean, could you stop drinking for them?

"Wilfred" 50:14
Yeah. 100 Well, I'm going to because he's to the age where he's gonna start being like, man, you know, he's gonna start asking. So I definitely have to, for that reason, but yeah, what was I going with that? I was going with that? It's okay. But did we do?

Scott Benner 50:30
What did we just hit a pothole?

"Wilfred" 50:32
Yeah. ADHD moment.

Scott Benner 50:36
I've heard people call them potholes when you just can't remember what you're doing when you're smoking. My

"Wilfred" 50:39
I'm using my wife's laptop because it's better quality. And she got a notification about something for work tomorrow. And

Scott Benner 50:47
you're reading. It just distracted me. I was like, sometimes I'm like, I'm recording and something pops up in front of me. And I'm like, not now. Cuz I read it. Yes. Shit. Now I lost where I'm at. And I'm like, yeah, like, I have it all turned off. But once a while, I don't know, it comes back on. And I'm like, crazy. Okay, so, like, What stops you from saying, I'm going to stop recording with Scott, and I'm going to go through the beer out and I'm not going to have anymore. What

"Wilfred" 51:12
would happen if you did that? Nothing would get on with my life. Yeah, why don't I do it then? Have it? Yeah. All right. Well

Scott Benner 51:21
make a new habit. Yeah, right. Yeah, you're not? I mean, how does the living room look? Could it be clean? We'll make a habit out of vacuuming.

"Wilfred" 51:29
My house is immaculate. All right. Well, then how about about American? My wife would argue with that in my, to my standards. It's your boy

Scott Benner 51:37
standards. I've picked up some things. But I like honestly, I'm obviously no sober counselor.

"Wilfred" 51:45
I don't know. I love your therapy. You're my favorite episodes are the ones when you like almost are or a therapist or someone.

Scott Benner 51:54
I like how I yelled at you, like 20 minutes ago? Because like, I don't think that's supposed to happen in therapy. No, it is. Is it? Well, yeah, I mean, because there's a part of me, there's a voice inside of me that wants to be like, just fucking Stop it man. Like, just, you know, like, you're a reasonable intelligent guy like you, you understand the whole thing. It almost feels like you're willfully doing it. And if it wasn't for the idea that you have addiction issues, I would say, just

"Wilfred" 52:18
well, you could still say it because I do. And I do plan on it. But I'm not there right now.

Scott Benner 52:25
But you don't seem like you love the beer the way it's

"Wilfred" 52:30
not for it's not really for like to get fucked up. Like, you know, like some people use it to, to reach a level and

Scott Benner 52:38
take away their anxiety or get them a high, you're using the weed for that.

"Wilfred" 52:41
Yeah, I'm doing it out of habit. At this point. You're making

Scott Benner 52:45
it make your habit, water with ice. And like drink one of those every couple of hours or so like, seriously, if you think it's that easy to replace, then replace it. Because I think if you remove the beer, you might gain some clarity. And then

"Wilfred" 52:57
it's mentally not like, you know, cuz I'll literally like go to a store. And I'll just put it in the cart. And not even think about it like, Oh, I just you know, it's habit.

Scott Benner 53:09
And it's expensive. So the weed is like I get I get the smoking the weed for like, your anxiety or for stuff like that. But at some point, I mean, you can't hit the you can't hit that Bong, constantly all day long. Can you like I mean, because those kids are gonna get older but not go to school to? I mean, well, yeah, but you're not hiding down on them. But you're not going to hide the smell of weed from them. You do? You don't think I walk in your house right now? I know you've been smoking today. Unless

"Wilfred" 53:39
you go to the cabinet that has it in it.

Scott Benner 53:42
You know that gets in your hair on you or anything like that. Oh,

"Wilfred" 53:45
probably on me. Yeah, go outside.

Scott Benner 53:49
I think maybe it talks. What about smoking? It's not good for you. Yeah. But just a dry vape pen. Would that give you the same hit?

"Wilfred" 53:57
Yeah, no, I'm not. I have been a fan of those. I've tried to the edibles and I've literally like 1000 milligrams and it just doesn't do anything.

Scott Benner 54:06
I've seen some like I've seen a couple of like hardcore stoners use those.

"Wilfred" 54:12
Those drives, I just drive the ideas to come give me one of his I suppose yourself, each

Scott Benner 54:17
LED as To me that's a reference not many people, or maybe people will go I don't know. That's

"Wilfred" 54:22
okay. I get all your references.

Scott Benner 54:26
I just I don't know. Like, I mean, do you really? Like if you separate yourself from yourself again? And you look at yourself, do you think it's going to be okay, if I hit a bong all day long for the rest of my life?

"Wilfred" 54:37
Yeah, you know, I'm probably not going to for the rest of my life. But the you know, the weeds good. I tried to think of how to explain it. So

Scott Benner 54:45
I'm waiting. I'm waiting for an explanation because I don't I mean, I don't know that it's right or wrong. I'm just asking what you think.

"Wilfred" 54:51
I think we I think we're totally fine, but I definitely don't plan on doing it like I do right now for the rest of my life. I'm hoping I'll be able to have, you know, figured out how to manage my anxiety better? Right now just focus on quitting drink?

Scott Benner 55:05
Do you remember the after dark with the stripper? Yes. And I asked her what she eats. And she said Jack and Coke. And then she qualified it by saying she meant doing coke and drinking Jack Daniels is basically her diet. Yeah. And how she was like, oh, it's no problem. Like, there's you know, you know, I'm good like that. She sounds like you like right now, a few months ago, she contacted me to tell me that she stopped like, she's, you know, on the wagon. And she didn't realize about, you know, it's a personal message, maybe. But she said to being on the podcast really helped her like reevaluate herself.

"Wilfred" 55:46
Yeah, you know, kind of hoping what maybe happens here? He I mean, I don't I think I have myself pretty fairly evaluated.

Scott Benner 55:56
No, you actually sound like you do. It's just the at the end of the evaluation. It feels like you're giving me an excuse why it's okay. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 56:04
Oh, no, it's Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't think what I'm doing is okay. But it's, it's not good for me. But it's not good for my kids to see. Right.

Scott Benner 56:12
Yeah. And your relationship with your wife? And like, all that stuff. You don't I mean, like, you have like years to stay together and ignore each other. You don't want to miss that.

"Wilfred" 56:22
So not wrong about that?

Scott Benner 56:25
Do you really want to be high while you're not having sex through your 40s and 50s? Hmm, I want to be higher when I'm I want to be present for those moments. You scare

"Wilfred" 56:33
me? Because I don't know. I'm just hearing about my future sex life just

Scott Benner 56:38
here to scare people. That's my job. Hilarious. Can you tell me a little bit about like, being a pretty consistent day drinker? You know, smoking weed the way you do and managing diabetes? Like so. You said you're doing that? I think how's that going? reason

"Wilfred" 56:54
I'm still doing the self management the way I'm doing is probably because I'm still oh, what? What is still going through the steps of grief?

Scott Benner 57:04
She's like, No, that's very possible. For sure. Like

"Wilfred" 57:07
it's been so it's been over a year, but it's it's been the hardest year, you know, and I gotten really good at it. Thanks to your podcast. You know, standard deviation isn't great, but the kids for? He's got a 6.0 a one C so well, good for you. I'm trying to go lower. I'm aiming for five, seven, that's what I'm going to be happy. He's Omnipod, five, Omnipod? Five, Dexcom? Six.

Scott Benner 57:37
Okay. How did you accomplish that? Like, where did that? Where did that all start? Like coming out of the hospital? First couple of months,

"Wilfred" 57:45
we left the hospital. We didn't have anything. We were like, they were saying we're hopeful we're gonna get you a Dexcom. And I was like, okay. So it was like, you know, we left the hospital, we're gonna go to the BDC, three days in a row for training. On the first day, they were like, This is what we're doing today, learning about injections and all that. And then hopefully, tomorrow, we'll have a Dexcom for you. And they actually had Dexcom, I think, before we left, they were like, here's the Dexcom. So we had the Dexcom right away, which was great. Had the Omni pod lined up after we you know, because they're like, do you want t slim or Omni pod? Those are the ones that were we have here that your insurance approves or whatever else I did my research, don't want tubes obviously had the Omni pod for like five to seven months, I forget exactly how long it was. But we had it for a long time without using it. And I looked back and I'm kind of grateful that I didn't use it for a long time because I learned a lot about how the insulin effect is his body. But also that thing really helps you sleep. So I regret not putting it on sooner for that reason. Every time I go into the Endo, which has been a few times now they're like, Oh, so you made this change. They're very cool with it. They're like awesome. He looks like he's doing good. Do you have any questions? And I'm like, No. Do you need any prescriptions? You know, that's it? Like, it's, I did not think I would be there when that kind of bricks fell on me that day.

Scott Benner 59:19
Does that give you a feeling of accomplishment?

"Wilfred" 59:22
A little bit. A little bit of I'm not there yet. Cuz, you know, standard deviations. Not great. He's, it's like, I think in the 30s or 40s. My goal is to be between five five and five, seven. So people I talk to they're like, oh, that's your you're killing yourself doing that. I'm like, but I'm saving him so I don't care.

Scott Benner 59:44
Well, listen, I think you're doing a really good job with this. And, you know, I think that it's not easy to learn. You learned very quickly, you know, standard deviation, you'll that'll come along, you know,

"Wilfred" 59:56
yeah. Well that's I already know why that's happening because he's a tough otherwise, sometimes we don't Pre-Bolus You know, I know why it's happening. It's

Scott Benner 1:00:04
but you're able to manage a spike back down without causing a low.

"Wilfred" 1:00:07
Yeah, that's a lot. Sometimes there's a low but yeah, but that's

Scott Benner 1:00:11
a lot. Man, you've you've, you've come a long way in a short time. I

"Wilfred" 1:00:15
know, I just can't wait for them to like, do a little bit more. Like the day he comes to me. Like, when you sit around was like, Is there anything I can do that can help and you were like, stopped eating cereal. If he does that. I'm gonna bawl my eyes out. Like, why? Because it's, it'll be the day that he's like, hey, it's I'm trying to do everything without trying to let him be a kid right now. You know, like, I don't want him to think about his diabetes, although he's very, very possessive of his diabetes. We were thinking about checking his sister's blood sugar. And he goes, No, no, this is my blood sugars. No, he wouldn't let us check her sugars.

Scott Benner 1:00:52
The dirty little kid my meter. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 1:00:56
He's, he's very proud of it everywhere. He goes, Hi, I'm, you know, and then he's OS X as I, he Hi, I'm my name. And I have diabetes. Yeah. So you did, buddy. That's wonderful.

Scott Benner 1:01:09
It I mean, listen, that's wonderful. I can't let you off the hook for not giving yourself credit for yet. Like, what do you what do you have to get to to give yourself credit? Like you came a really long way in a difficult thing in a short amount of time?

"Wilfred" 1:01:20
I don't know. When I quit see into hundreds.

Scott Benner 1:01:25
Yeah. All right. Well, good luck. He's got diabetes, you're gonna see that sometimes you don't I mean,

"Wilfred" 1:01:30
yeah, I know. But when I quit seeing it on a daily basis, or on a on a meal to meal basis,

Scott Benner 1:01:36
could I get you to give yourself credit for how far you've come so far? 100% I'm doing great. Yeah,

"Wilfred" 1:01:42
I really think you are. Yeah, nearly lost it on the Walmart lady the other day, though, cuz she was like, he goes, I am. And I have diabetes. And she goes, my husband has that. I'm so so sorry that you're dealing with and I was like, Are you can you not be negative right now? This kid just is very happy. And you're coming down. Like, stop it.

Scott Benner 1:02:04
Did you want to die? 500 to be like, Heck, yeah. diabetes? Up top baby. No. Wish you probably could have that. What might have been the kids energy? Yeah. Well, in fairness, you hadn't had a beer in an hour and a half. So you might have been a little touchy. No, no, I'm just, that's true.

"Wilfred" 1:02:23
I always go shopping before that, you know, Oh,

Scott Benner 1:02:26
okay. Yeah. We're not drinking and driving with the kids, right? Absolutely.

"Wilfred" 1:02:30
Not even without the kids.

Scott Benner 1:02:33
Even without the kids. I don't even do that. On my own time, baby. Well, good for you. Come on. I got to be a little response. Well, there's, you know, there's gonna be a modicum of people listening to this that are like, you know, you didn't treat this very seriously Scott and stuff like that, but I will listen, I'm gonna tell you this. I think we're treating.

"Wilfred" 1:02:49
I love you, Scott. I don't care.

Scott Benner 1:02:51
I thank you. I think we're treating it very seriously. I think that this is an honest conversation about how a person in your situation feels and lives. And you know, to sit around and pretend otherwise is and I

"Wilfred" 1:03:03
just think there's probably somebody out there who's somebody like that somebody?

Scott Benner 1:03:08
I think every third person is like, I tell you

"Wilfred" 1:03:12
what, if that person is out there, and you want to reach out to Scott who can then reach out to me, that's fine. I'm down.

Scott Benner 1:03:19
Okay, listen, what do you have put me what am I your secretary? What just happened to

"Wilfred" 1:03:24
be middle man in this situation? You know, I don't want every but if somebody's going through that, you know, I don't want everybody to know my info, but I'll give somebody like that. I could hook up with them. Let's do this together. So basically,

Scott Benner 1:03:35
I'm running like a day drinker. Tinder template. Yeah. So you guys can all find each other. Good. Find out where your beer sales are, whatever. Like, why involved? I got a business already. I don't need that. But honestly, like, I find these conversations to be the most valuable. Like because, you know, somebody can come on here and say, like what you're supposed to say,

"Wilfred" 1:03:59
I think somebody might be my situation and not even know that they're like, Oh, are

Scott Benner 1:04:04
you kidding? Me? People are like, Wait, you can't drink a beer every two hours. Why not? You know, like, that's I like to drink it is refreshing. Or is that didn't help now. But like, you know, you can see it after talking to you like you can see the pattern of events, right, like you grow up in a weird household. There's the addictive nature with your mom, you know, even though she wasn't around you very long, you know, either rubs off

"Wilfred" 1:04:33
when trauma happens, it's almost impossible to escape it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:04:37
But it rubs off on you and or it's genetic to some level, like we're a mixture of the two whatever. You know, by the time you're 18 you're smoking weed, then you get put into a weird circumstance where you're having to like help a closeted gay man. Get dressed, who's got Parkinson's, and then you have like, just the anxiety and stress of that is already You do too much for young person, then there's the weird thing that happens, which it ramps it up. I wouldn't start drinking right there. So like, I'm like, but I'm not I don't have that kind of. That's the difference, right? Like, right, but you're just like, let's go. Like I got a lot of weirdness going on here a lot. I was

"Wilfred" 1:05:17
20 years old. I was like, my mom's an alcoholic, but I can do this, like, I'm gonna show her that it's

Scott Benner 1:05:22
easy. Do you really thought that? Like I can, like I can do this responsibly? 100% Yeah. Not a fear. I guess not. If you've got alcoholism like that. There's no, I'm not doing that.

"Wilfred" 1:05:34
And then the, you know, I do really good. Like, I've had almost a year sober at times. But this disease, like, once it happens, it's like, there's almost like it almost creates more traumas that you're, you don't realize they're happening. Like, right, right after his diagnosis. He didn't have a solid stool for three or four months. So we were constantly changing shitty sheets. And like, just he was had shipped blowouts three times a day, like he had what's called toddler's diarrhea, or into the pediatrician. And then he started having night terrors. And it's like, When is this gonna end?

Scott Benner 1:06:10
Yeah, that's not fun. Yeah, and then that pushes on you, and then you kind of fall into your stuff, then.

"Wilfred" 1:06:17
Yeah, night terrors is the worst. Like, there's nothing worse than your kid being like, almost, it seems like he's conscious. But he's freaking out, like monsters are trying to grab them. And you're like,

Scott Benner 1:06:31
probably having his own response to whatever happened. Yeah, you know, well, but now the thing is, is that if you look back at your own story, and then look at where you are, now, you have a finite amount of time right here to stop this from being your kids story. That's the thing. That I mean, that's where you're at, honestly, right. Yeah. So I think you got to do something.

"Wilfred" 1:06:55
Well, you know, I think my mom's method of scaring she she's doing the scare tactic. I think that's what she's trying to do. She's like, this is where you're gonna end up if you keep going. I

Scott Benner 1:07:08
think your mom is smoking crack to try to help you. It's a joke. That's optimistic. I'll show the kids what they don't want to be. Yep. Yeah, that didn't work for you guys. Like, you know, some people say like, so I should probably not try to take that tactic. Yeah, I don't think it's a I mean, it's a proven loser is what I'm saying here. As far as a tactic goes. Yeah, isn't it funny, some people see a behavior and they go towards it. And some people see behavior, and they run away from it. You are going you're going towards it. I went away from it. And then I was like, dang, I gotta go back. It's fine. I can do it looks I can manage it. So I'm going to be better than Yeah. Wrong. What would be a good replacement for the beer? I don't want to get an awful lot

"Wilfred" 1:07:53
more stuff to clean cuz I like to clean.

Scott Benner 1:07:57
That's a little tight by the cleaning thing.

"Wilfred" 1:07:58
I'm a little I'm a little, a little bit of a pain. Yeah, that

Scott Benner 1:08:02
happened a little bit. I mean, I just think I think you got a

"Wilfred" 1:08:05
wife thinks I'm OCD. But my therapist says I'm not so you have a therapist. I don't. That's another thing I was gonna bring up. I got we got one. Shortly after diagnosis and our insurance at the time only covered? Like for free sessions. Yeah, per person. So I was like, oh, like every three months or something. And I got like three of them out of the way real quick, because I didn't realize that at the time. And I was like, well, I'll save my last one. Now that I know, that's the case. And now we're on we got a better insurance plan. So we're both going back. Good. Well, that's a good that's what that's my next plan is.

Scott Benner 1:08:42
Can I make a suggestion? Don't make a plan. Just get off the call with me and then call the therapist and make an appointment. I think you need to plan. You're not the eighth team. You know what I mean? Well,

"Wilfred" 1:08:51
all right. Yeah. I'm waiting on some referrals at the moment. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:08:55
Yeah. But go towards it as fast as you can. Yeah. I'm

"Wilfred" 1:08:58
not gonna I'm not gonna sit on it. My wife is in charge right now. She's the one who's handling that. So I'm probably going to have an appointment next week. You know, excellent.

Scott Benner 1:09:06
That's great. I love that for you. I love that.

"Wilfred" 1:09:10
She looked into it after our insurance rolled over and she goes, it looks like we just have a little bit of a copay now for therapy and it's not that bad. And I was like, okay, and she goes, I want to reach out and she's Yeah, she's she's a badass.

Scott Benner 1:09:23
That's wonderful. I mean, it sounds like she really cares and she's trying to get everybody you know, I mean, since she stuck with you she would rather you probably be okay I'm gonna shank him yet.

"Wilfred" 1:09:34
I don't think maybe when we went maybe when little man can take care of himself she might

Scott Benner 1:09:41
just biding your time so smother you with a pillow says kids just letting me do

"Wilfred" 1:09:44
my job now. One day I'm gonna teach

Scott Benner 1:09:48
you one of them the vacuum and the other one to cook and then you're done. She probably got plans. Oh, I would imagine probably like drawn out like that. In Mallrats like blueprints and everything. If there's a reference, I knew you're gonna go. I did. And then pick any bam,

"Wilfred" 1:10:09
I get all your older references because I was like, my, my grandma was my main influence in my life after my mom pieced out my grandma would take care of us when my dad works. So she I would watch a lot of old shows. So I get all the references. Lovely.

Scott Benner 1:10:26
Oh, good. She and she sounded lonely. So she had time for you guys.

"Wilfred" 1:10:32
I don't know if she was

Scott Benner 1:10:34
well, bored. Maybe at the very good into. You know, before we started recording, we were like, you were like, I don't think I should use my name. I'm gonna say some stuff. Probably that, you know, maybe I don't want to be attached. Sure it was gonna come out. But did it actually come out? Or is there other stuff? Oh, I'm

"Wilfred" 1:10:51
sure there. I mean, there's definitely more.

Scott Benner 1:10:54
That's a world that is so interesting, where you said all that crazy stuff. And you're like, there's more. But when you think you don't, you don't have to tell me what all this stuff is. People are like, shut up and let them talk. But, but like, can you see how those things led you to where you are?

"Wilfred" 1:11:09
Oh, yeah. Those things and the influences that those things like? are like, yeah, yeah, I can see where they lead me.

Scott Benner 1:11:19
It's mental illness and addiction that kind of pushed your life in this direction. Do you think that happened to your mom as well that she had that going on? And in her parenting? I

"Wilfred" 1:11:29
don't know. Because I don't know enough about like, like her parents helped raise me more than she did. Which is kind of weird. I know more about them than I actually do about her. But they were not willing. They had never talked about I'll share my stuff. Yeah, like about what was happening? How

Scott Benner 1:11:47
does your mom support herself? She's 60 years old ish, and doesn't work and as a craft as welfare pays for crack?

"Wilfred" 1:11:54
I don't She's living with some, some guy who's old, like she is. And I think he might have some, like Veterans Assistance or something as well. And like, she, I don't know, I really, I really don't because I haven't talked to her in so long. But these are just assumptions that I'm making. Because listen,

Scott Benner 1:12:14
let me say this, just pull yourself together just so that one day you don't live with some old guy who has Veterans Assistance. Like you say never, but I don't know what's gonna happen to you. You don't either. Like you're doing wrong. Yeah. So I'm saying like, don't put your foot via cloud on the other side, there will be a clown on the other side of that door. And that clown might be a veteran who's like, Hey, if you sit here and do this, I'll pay the bills. And you're like, oh, okay, I guess I'm doing it. But seriously, like, like, give yourself some agency that make, you know, make decisions that allow you to make decisions. This

"Wilfred" 1:12:47
therapy is going to help a lot. I've done it before. It's been a long time since I've been when I got to go for those three sessions. The first one I really liked. But then we found out that she was also going to see my wife. And so I was like, well, I'll just go to a different person. And I did not like the second guy. So I'm going to my wife is going to set up something. I think she's like, You need to see a female. I don't think you can be honest with a man. And I was like, Oh, I don't know. I just think men are more. Like, just do this and do that. And you know, I want to cry sometimes. So I can stuff like that. And yeah, I don't need I don't want that. I want to cry. Yeah. Sounds like you need a guy who had all the fields because those episodes Oh,

Scott Benner 1:13:33
yeah. No, there's a lot of a lot of crying in Josh's episodes. But yeah, you need a mother figure to like, open up to where I don't think this is like, like any deep thinking on my part, right? Oh, no. Yeah, you already know. You already have my dad.

"Wilfred" 1:13:49
My wife has made it very clear. I have mommy issues. Yeah. No, I was pretty aware of it to before but

Scott Benner 1:13:57
I just I'd like to be I honestly, I'd like to see you be able to just go out without having a smoke.

I think that'd be a big deal for you.

You know, that scares? You? Know,

"Wilfred" 1:14:08
don't scare me at all. Okay, I think that'd be a big deal just doesn't seem appealing.

Scott Benner 1:14:12
Now, listen, I'll make a short list of things in life that aren't appealing. But I like you're not drinking the beer and going out once in a while straight and I bet you that moves you in the right direction.

"Wilfred" 1:14:22
Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, I was. I'm gonna get there. I'm not too worried about it. Well,

Scott Benner 1:14:29
I hope you check back in with me in a year and you tell me a story about how this all worked out? Or you can come back on and tell me how to cook rock. Okay, whichever ends up being your path.

"Wilfred" 1:14:40
Oh, probably not. It'll be growing mushrooms or something. Oh, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:14:44
Well keep it more of the hippie level.

"Wilfred" 1:14:46
Yeah, uppers aren't my thing.

Scott Benner 1:14:49
Why is cocaine so prevalent now? I

"Wilfred" 1:14:52
don't know. But it is. I didn't I've done it. I've done crack. I don't like it. I just they're not my thing. I've I've done everything but heroin and meth. So, I'm saving those for when I die smoke the crack or you shoot it. I smoked it. I've never shot anything. I'm not fancy. Okay, believe it or not before all this happened, I had a needle phobia. I know like it might have had something to do drag to push a plunger into my friends all I

Scott Benner 1:15:17
thought for sure, like when you said that you were going to be like, that's why I had to get my kid at Omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box when you have any definitely,

"Wilfred" 1:15:23
although you should. Omnipod is the best. Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:15:27
I don't know if you're selling for me right now. They're

"Wilfred" 1:15:29
probably like I could sell for you all day. I like all your products. So

Scott Benner 1:15:32
you don't think that the company right now is like not this guy. Not that Dexcom under the bus? You don't you don't think that companies are like, oh, yeah, we want to be the we definitely want to be the preferred product of day drinking weed smokers. But actually, you know what you might want to be the preferred

"Wilfred" 1:15:50
to work out to you want to reach out to a better health on this. Better

Scott Benner 1:15:55
help? Yeah. Oh, by the way, I do have a better help link better health.com/juice box if you want to get 20% off your first. Is that first month of therapy? I think it is. Yeah, it's such a weird thing having a podcast. Like when you started, I wish I

"Wilfred" 1:16:09
had the ability. Like I don't know, I don't have the social skills that you do. But it would be a convenient way to work from home. I feel like it actually

Scott Benner 1:16:18
is a very convenient way to work from home. But if you can't come up with gems, like, if it's hard, the angles easy, then you're not going to be able to do this, because that's really that's next level stuff.

"Wilfred" 1:16:29
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm not I'm not there. That's why I listen and don't.

Scott Benner 1:16:33
I'm a modern day. Henny Youngman over here. So but never

"Wilfred" 1:16:38
be on this podcast. And I heard in Africa, and I was like, maybe what are

Scott Benner 1:16:42
you? What does that say that again? I was I listened

"Wilfred" 1:16:45
to a lot of the episodes. I started from number one. And I was like, I could never be on this podcast. Like dudes too awesome. Like, he just knows so much. Like, I feel like an idiot. And then the first afterdark came on, and I was like, I could totally, I

Scott Benner 1:16:57
could do one of these. Yeah, I swear to God, this would I would do more of these. But they're not as popular as you would think they are the people who love the after darks really love them. But they get skipped a little bit by like, 15% of the audience. Yeah,

"Wilfred" 1:17:12
that's annoying, is there's a lot of valuable information in there for and I don't think people even realize it.

Scott Benner 1:17:17
I think so to actually but you know, everybody doesn't love everything. So that's fine. So that's why I tried to literally

"Wilfred" 1:17:22
skipped one of your episodes. And it's just because I couldn't stand the girls voice. I'm not going to say which one it was because I told

Scott Benner 1:17:29
you, but you'll tell me when we stopped the recording. Oh, yeah. Okay, thank

"Wilfred" 1:17:32
you. But you gotta give me some sort of gem that other other listeners aren't going to get for six months.

Scott Benner 1:17:37
I mean, listen, if I had chips, I'd send you on for sure. Yeah, like, you know what it means? Like, I just, I thought about that before, by the way, giving out prizes for listening to the entire pot because people come to me sometimes, like, I just finished the whole podcast and I'm like, wait, what? Like, I That's wonderful. Like, first of all, I can't tell you how nice that feels. But you know, to me, but the other side of is like, I've, I've like I've told my kids and they're like, Oh, that's too much of you. And I'm like,

"Wilfred" 1:18:04
I can't give you too much credit because I'm the kind of person that would have figured this out. But I would not have figured it out in a month. Like

Scott Benner 1:18:12
yeah, the podcast actually helped you like draw it all together that quick. Oh, it's

"Wilfred" 1:18:16
sped it up like crazy. I in the first month I was like I don't I don't I've I've listened to all the management episodes. I'm literally listening to it for therapy at this point. I know what I'm doing. I'm just it's therapy at this point for me. I

Scott Benner 1:18:30
hear that from a lot of people actually just listening for the comfort and everything but it so quick. Let me put this out here to other people who are like I can't figure out diabetes. This guy did he's a little drunk and high almost constantly and he's afraid to meet a person at a walking Park and he got out pretty sure any smoke smoked crack before and and he's got it figured out I want to know what your excuses Okay, seriously Can I get a review that says now? I don't know. I would love I would love a review that said I've smoked crack and even I understand the diabetes information in this puck. He's gonna do me a favor if you don't do that, by the way. But I think that would be my favorite review better than the one who said I love the podcast. It's so helpful, but I don't like the guy.

"Wilfred" 1:19:31
Got to admit, I think the first couple episodes I was like, I your sarcasm took a little while to get used

Scott Benner 1:19:36
to. Yeah, I could probably be off putting if you don't know. I'm

"Wilfred" 1:19:41
pretty sarcastic but I'm not as sarcastic so I was just a little bit like I got used to it pretty quick.

Scott Benner 1:19:46
I've got an East Coast sarcasm that's it's very finely refined. It's not it's not for the faint of heart. And especially, you know, those people in the West Coast. They can't like although I'm gonna set me I don't like to equate myself to the pocket. The podcast is really popular in California. But anyway, I love you guys. I love everybody. I can't believe how many. I can't believe that if I pulled up a list of where this podcast was heard that it includes 48 different countries.

"Wilfred" 1:20:11
It's insane. I know. I was like, one of your episodes you go into in the end, like how many people in the countries and I'm just like astonished. Yeah, no, no, I

Scott Benner 1:20:22
am to just die. So you're you're really

"Wilfred" 1:20:24
great with accents. Where do you think I'm from? Oh, why would we don't want to say though? Oh, no, but you don't think you're gonna guess where I'm actually where I was born? Oh,

Scott Benner 1:20:35
there's a little like Canadian, Minnesota in some of the things you say? No, seriously? Yeah, just a tiny little bit that mom. And and I hear from way far away from that. Hold on. And I hear a little bit of Seattle to note now where do you want to tell me if we can bleep it out?

"Wilfred" 1:20:54
It's a huge state. So it doesn't matter. It's Texas.

Scott Benner 1:20:57
But you're from Texas. That's how you found Florida. So easy. I was right there. I

"Wilfred" 1:21:03
think my southern has left me I guess

Scott Benner 1:21:05
there's no southern I get a little bit like almost Canadian once in a while. But your step Mom's got that vibe. Yeah, she's up there in the north. I think you picked it up a little bit from her maybe? I think so. Yeah, the attitude was more like Oregon. So that's why I was guessing like Washington.

"Wilfred" 1:21:22
Very hippie, I guess I would say so. That makes sense. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:21:25
No, I mean, that's fair. I've seen your mustache. Yeah, have to buy products for that or does it? No, no, that's that's pretty impressive. Seriously, that's a very masculine mustache.

"Wilfred" 1:21:39
I that's a that's a summertime thing in the winter. I have I let it grow.

Scott Benner 1:21:44
I have to tell you something. If that mustache is natural like that. Let bushiness. I see what your grandfather was reaching for.

Let's leave it at that. Go ahead

and find another podcast and I'll make fun of a man for being hit on by his grandfather. You're not gonna find it.

"Wilfred" 1:22:01
Yeah, dementia, you know, you gotta give him a little bit of Listen, we

Scott Benner 1:22:04
won't be looked like a boy. He knew one day you know what I mean? He didn't know who I don't think he

"Wilfred" 1:22:10
said my name. So

Scott Benner 1:22:13
my god, get go to therapy. I appreciate you doing this. My one let down here is that we were going to do this one, like, not like a bleep to Napoli version of it, and you really didn't curse that much.

"Wilfred" 1:22:26
You know, I think it's, um, it was raised by my grandma. I don't curse naturally a lot. But like I do. If I'm like, like, if I'm talking about you like and what you don't for me, and I say I love you. Yeah, it doesn't. That's not working for me. I have to say like, I fucking love you. Like, I cannot leave the eff out in a situation like that. But, and most of the time I tried. You know, my grandma's probably watching me. I don't know. I'm not religious. But I still feel that way. So

Scott Benner 1:22:53
I still think that lady's looking down on you hurt. Her

"Wilfred" 1:22:56
energy is out there. And I don't want I don't Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:22:59
you don't want to hear you're saying motherfucker or something like that.

"Wilfred" 1:23:03
Not all the time. What's your line? Only if it means something? Well, it's gotta mean something. What

Scott Benner 1:23:08
word would you not say?

"Wilfred" 1:23:10
No, I don't have a line. My favorite word is Conte. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:23:13
I didn't know you're going right there. But okay. Right now for stopping before you get me to say my favorite curse words and then people stop listening to the podcast or like I used to like that guy. But he said his favorite curse word and it made me very uncomfortable. Alright, man, you were great. Wilford. I think you did the real world for Brimley. A real service here. What? What an homage.

"Wilfred" 1:23:35
Anybody who's offended by that? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:23:38
get over it. Also, Wilford Brimley had a hell of a mustache?

"Wilfred" 1:23:41
He did. He did.

Scott Benner 1:23:44
Damn. All right. Well, then you're the wars. Cuckoo good show. What are we going to call this one? I mean, it's an after dark, but is it after dark?

"Wilfred" 1:23:51
Don't touch me. Grandfathers call me grandpa.

Scott Benner 1:23:54
I don't think we could do that. Okay, we're gonna think about this. Maybe I'll just go with I Am the Walrus. Work. Alright, it's good to talk to you, man. I really appreciate you doing this. Sincerely.

"Wilfred" 1:24:07
I appreciate you man. Take care. Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:24:10
Hold on one second. A huge thanks to a longtime sponsor touched by type one please check them out on Facebook, Instagram, and at touched by type one.org. If you're looking to support an organization that's supporting people with type one diabetes, check out touched by type on today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G seven and G six continuous glucose monitoring systems. dexcom.com/juicebox Jalen is an incredible example of what so many experience living with diabetes. You show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes define you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong. On And together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community where to share your own story, visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox And look out online for the hashtag Medtronic champion. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

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