Scott Benner 3/27/24 Scott Benner 3/27/24

#1155 Grand Rounds: School Nurse

Scott and Jenny discuss proper type 1 diabetes management in schools.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 1155 of the Juicebox Podcast

Welcome back everyone to the Grand Rounds series. I hope you're enjoying it. Today's episode is for school nurses. If you know a school nurse who'd like to know more about type one diabetes, send this one to them. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. If you'd like to help with type one diabetes research, you can do that right there from your smartphone or your tablet in just 10 minutes. T one D exchange.org/juicebox. They're looking for US residents who have type one diabetes or are the caregivers of someone with type one. You're going to help people living with type one diabetes, you may help yourself you're definitely going to support the podcast in less than 10 minutes T one D exchange.org/juice box please go fill out that survey. I cannot tell you how much it helps.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy earth.com Cozy Earth is where I get my clothing, linens and towels from they're incredibly comfortable and temperate. I love them. I really do love them. And I love that I can give you an offer code that will save you 40% off of your entire order. Just use the offer code juice box at checkout and you will save 40% at cosy earth.com This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Ever since is going to let you break away from some of the CGM norms you may be accustomed to no more weekly or bi weekly hassles of sensor changes. Never again, will you be able to accidentally bump your sensor off. You won't have to carry around CGM supplies and worrying about your adhesive lasting. Well that's the thing of the past. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox. Good morning Jenny. How are you?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:44
I'm fine. How are you?

Scott Benner 2:46
It's Monday, I'm on my way to the dentist after this. I don't know how good I am actually.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:50
Oh fun. Hopefully they find nothing. They say you have sparkling tea.

Scott Benner 2:55
This is the end of a thing for me. So this is this is the easy visit after the two where he's like, sorry for the pinch and then stuck a needle through the palate of my mouth. Oh, oh, sorry, for the pinch. What a way to put that the pinch, sorry that it feels like someone's running a hot poker through your face. Actually, our dentist is terrific. So I shouldn't say that he's very good at making injections. Today, we're gonna go over the school nurse portion of the Grand Rounds series. And this one is great, because we added it late to the list you and I did. But then through happenstance, I started seeing a mass flood of school nurses come into the private Facebook group. And it turns out that just it just took one person in a different Facebook group for school nurses to say, hey, if you're having trouble with helping kids with type one, you should go check out Juicebox Podcast. So like a serious influx came in. And I took that opportunity to make a post and say to everybody that's in there, 45,000 people in there, there's gonna be a bunch of new school nurses in here, new members that are school nurses, what would you like to tell them? And then oh, my gosh, Jenny, the post ended up reaching 18,000 of my members, which if you don't know how the Facebook algorithm works, that's generous. Because even though there's 45,000 people in there, it doesn't serve it to everybody all the time. And it's

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:21
interesting. I know nothing about the like people, they are looking at putting a picture in here for the algorithm. I have no idea what that means.

Scott Benner 4:30
Means the algorithm likes pictures, so it'll show it the more people and people like picture so they click on them. But this post got 170 replies, wow, after being seen by 18,000 of the members. Nice. And all I said was there's a large influx of school nurses who have just joined the group. I'd love to see a vibrant conversation aimed at them. What are your best tips? So that's what we're gonna go over today. Great. Yeah. So this is feedback from the community. These are from real moms and dads, and I have some input because I had a kid go completely through school. With a with type one diabetes, yes, I want to start by highlighting the anxiety that I felt our daughter was diagnosed when she was two. She was MDI for a couple of years. My first compelling feeling about getting a pump was I don't want another person to stick my daughter with a needle every day. Oh, interesting. That was just it. I mean, I don't know why that occurred to me like that. But I was like, I don't want that. So we got Arden and Omni pod. And that took away that one little thing, but you know, didn't really help anything else. So,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 5:36
right, it still means somebody else is pushing buttons. Yeah, right. And I don't know, like, I've always felt when I've gone to the doctor, and had to supply the thing to have them download. It's almost like taking a piece of my body and handing it over is kind of how I felt. And it feels very weird to hand that over. So I can imagine being a caregiver of a child or some, you know, or for somebody else. Yeah, the idea of that being touched, right?

Scott Benner 6:07
I'm glad you brought that up. Because I had this experience with Arden all the time, where I found, like, she's the nominee pod, right? So it's an insulin pump, that's tubeless. And the controller for it is therefore not attached to her. Right. But it has a physical distance limitation. It won't work if you're a certain distance away from somebody. And I used to have to tell her, Hey, stay still for a second, like stand here. While this thing makes a connection. It wasn't long, but it felt the humanizing to me a little bit.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:42
Yeah, I can see that. Because from a tubed perspective, you already have that mental piece of understanding that it's there. Sure, I have to sit here and a child might even not think about the fact that they need to sit there because the tubing clearly is a is a visible connection piece, also

Scott Benner 7:00
push a button on a two pump and hand the pump back to them. And then it does what it's going to do while they're walking away. And yes, before, I don't know, I just did something that always stuck with me that there was something not right about, even though it wasn't a demand, it was all done very kindly, but it was like you have to stand here stand here for a second. And it just made me think of that when you said, even just handing my data over to somebody else feels like I'm giving something away. It does. Yeah. So anyway, I would say keep that in mind. You know, when you're dealing with these kids that, you know, and you'll see as you go through the feedback here that there are a lot of opportunities to create moments where they get to feel poorly about things and and you're not gonna know they're happening, you know,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:44
and I think that in this same kind of line of talk, as a school caregiver or school nurse, that piece of hand the product over to me, when I mean, this is a beginning start of talking to the family, does the child actually know how to button push, and all you really do need to do is truly watch them push the button and make sure that the figures in the facts that they're putting into it are exactly what they need to be then great. Don't touch the product. There's there's no reason or anxiety,

Scott Benner 8:16
if they're going to do it wrong. Give it to me. If that makes the person feel like Oh, I'm that you lose your autonomy, right? Yeah. And I'm sure there are kids who aren't old enough or don't know how to do it or anything like that. That's one thing. But that is needed, you make a good point. I'm going to start here with this, this person just says I absolutely love our school nurse, she and the two ladies that helped her have become like, Mom, number two to my son. Oh, yeah. And the other diabetic kiddos at the school, I couldn't ask for better support system, and I have them, they're willing to learn more willing to help my child, I don't even think they realize how hard it is for me to give up control, but I completely trust them. Now, that's great. And many of you might be doing that already. But as we get through other feedback, you're gonna see that that's not everybody's experience. And I'm always the one the first one to say like, school nurses are no different than other health care professionals. You don't know who you're getting until you get them. And, you know, my problem always is that if you get somebody who's combative, or egotistical, or whatever might happen there and you have you get into this battle with them, you could just think this is normal and just take it. And that's, you know, upsetting to

Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:25
you. And as you bring that in, I think I've seen that more in working with families. I've seen that attitude, if you will happen a lot more with nurses who have and again, this is not all of them. But nurses who've been around for a while and have had experience with type one diabetes, or have an idea in their head about it, and how it should be managed. But it's very aged information. It's the old 15 and 15 rule right for treating lows, it gets stuck there. And no matter what is told to them, that's what they're going to do. And this is where those plans that you come in to school with, to care for a child who has some type of medical special need, like diabetes, those become really important and can be more of a teaching tool, then to say, Hey, I see that you, you didn't know what you were doing. But that was years ago, and we have to update this or each child that diabetes is into, you know, an individual same

Scott Benner 10:32
for every person, or even every food and people bring this up in their feedback, two main messages through through all these 170 comments are, please don't talk down to us. What I'm hearing is that that's how people these are their experiences and work with us. You know, like, yeah, and that that struck me too, is like, how did it become adversarial so quickly? I just want my kid to be healthy and in class and not missing time. And I'm assuming you want that as well. Right? How's it possible? We're arguing, you know, like, like, we're, we're literally on the same team. This person just says, Please don't talk down to parents about how they manage. This journey has been evolving over time. For us. It was quite emotional in the beginning. I didn't appreciate the discussions about checking everything through the doctor. Yeah, so it sounds like the school nurse anytime the mom said hey, could we change this or give her a little more a little less? Well, we'll have to call the doctor. I'm assuming from the school nurse side. That's something they have to do. But you got to see what it feels like here like I know what I'm talking about. Give them another half a unit I've lived through this 50 times right? Like on oh, we're gonna call the doctor with a law you're calling the doctor which is not going to get a response today. And maybe not this week. Right now my kid's blood sugar is going to be high all week long. Because you know, what's the point like at some point you got to be a an ally in this. If you take insulin or sulfonylureas you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most. Be ready with G voc hypo pen. My daughter carries G voc hypo pen everywhere she goes because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar and people with diabetes ages two and above that I trust. Low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily G vo Capo pen can be administered in two simple steps even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you storage evoke hypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use G vo Capo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why G voc hypo pen is in Ardens diabetes toolkit at G voc glucagon.com/juicebox. G voc shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma. Or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma visit G voc glucagon.com/risk For safety information. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth and right now I'm looking at cozy earth.com to see what's going on. I got oh look at this bamboo pajama set for ladies. That jogger pants for ladies looks like plush lounge socks. That's one of Oprah's Favorite Things. There's the bath collection. We love the waffle towels, but there's also premium plush bath towels. Everything that you see here can be had for 40% off with the offer code juice box at checkout. Even the sheets now we use the bamboo sheets, you may choose different linens I don't know what you're going to love when you get to cozy earth.com But we sleep on bamboo sheets from cozy Earth. They are incredibly comfortable. And I bought them myself with my own money using my own offer code juice box at checkout 40% off is what I saved you can as well at cozy earth.com today's podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM boasting a six month sensor. The ever sent CGM offers you these key advantages distinct on body vibe alerts with higher low, a consistent and exceptional accuracy over a six month period. And you only need two sensors per year. No longer will you have to carry your CGM supplies with you. You won't have to be concerned about your adhesive not lasting, accidentally knocking off a sensor or wasting a sensor when you have to replace your transmitter. That's right. There's no more weekly or bi weekly hassles of sensor changes. Not the Eversense CGM. It's implantable and it's accurate ever since cgm.com/juicebox, the Eversense CGM is the first and only long term CGM ever since sits comfortably right under the skin and your upper arm, and it lasts way longer than any other CGM sensor. Never again will you have to worry about your sensor falling off before the end of its life. So if you want an incredibly accurate CGM that can't get knocked off and won't fall off. You're looking for the ever since CGM ever since cgm.com/juicebox. You know.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 15:28
And I think another piece that adds into this, especially more recently is that a good majority of people are using some type of an algorithm driven pump. Yeah. And that brings in some adjustment to what the parents have learned how to navigate because they're with it 24/7, right every minute of every day, and they're looking at data, and they're analyzing it for adjustments and what to do and what works. And while school nurses have kids every day of the school week, their interactions with them are very momentary. They're right, they're not all the time. And so again, what they might have learned about something like treating a lower blood sugar, is there's a difference now with algorithms in how you treat and how quick you leave, how quickly and what amount you use in the same for highs. Maybe the pump is suggesting this amount, but you know a little bit better because of your experience. Those are things that, again, they technically have to be written down as a guiding post for the nurse to use. But they may shift and change through the course of the year, especially because kids grow.

Scott Benner 16:39
And even if they're not using an algorithm, they might be acting as one, not even knowing it, like oh, you know, correct after this meal, we always do a Temp Basal increase, or, you know, like, little adjustments to insulin, which in the end is what an algorithm is doing, making like, unseen adjustments. But these people might already know, like, Oh, I know that with popcorn, and this drink. She needs you know, X, Y, Z insulin, right? That's not going to be reflected in the orders that the doctor put together that said, like, you know, for every 10 carbs, it's a unit of insulin, right? Yeah, except for when she eats like this, or except after lunch, or I mean, after gym or something like that, like they might have? I mean, might they're definitely going to know something about this, you don't know. And then the touch point here is that you've put yourself in a position where if you're not being flexible as the school nurse, you are now in the power position, you're holding these people hostage, right? They're trying to do something with their with their health, you're saying no, you're not a doctor, you're not even their doctors. They don't know you, you know, I mean, you're the person at the school who's a school nurse, like that's a lovely job. And everyone's thrilled you're there. And thank god, you're there, because plenty of schools that don't even have nurses. But you can't become the I don't know the border guard and say, No, you're not allowed to do that, like I do this 24 hours a day when I'm not with you like why are you the you know, the end all be on this? I think that that's just important to hear if you're the school nurse, like, Oh, is that how that could feel? On the other side? I'm just trying to do the right thing. I'm following the orders here, right now. And

Jennifer Smith, CDE 18:20
I think too, because there's there's a lot to navigate in a school environment, right? There's a lot as you mentioned it before, that we don't really want kids to be consistently pulled from class, it decreases what they're therefore which is learning, right? And especially if that pull is always at the time of a class that's already kind of harder for the student or that they might be falling behind in because they're constantly being pulled from that class. So I think, you know, in using a lot of these tricks that as the parent or the caregiver, you've learned, you also have to think about it from the angle of the nurse as well, and the angle of your child in that we want to simplify as much as possible. So that, you know, little Lucy doesn't always have to go back and forth to the office four times a day to figure out what is typical coverage for this type of a meal. Maybe you don't feed that meal at school then, right? Maybe they're reserved for the weekends when you have the navigation tool, and you make the weekday a little bit more simplified. I mean, there are there are ways to work it on both angles. I think school nurses, they tried to do as well as they can in some school nurses don't even have coverage of just one school. They're not there all day. They might be navigating between five schools. Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:42
I've never met an ill intended school nurse. Right. Right. But I have dealt with some of them that were problematic for our life. Yeah. Oh, I'm, I'm quite sure. Yeah. So I know I've said this on the podcast in other places, but it very much fits here in second grade. My daughter had a standard time she'd go to the school nurse to have her blood sugar check. There were no CGM at that point. And she went every day, every day at this certain time. And then she'd come back. She was only gone for a couple of minutes, 10 minutes she was back, and we were on our way again. But she was falling behind significantly at math at like, really, really badly. And it, we didn't know why. And it wasn't till the following year, because her teacher carried over with her class. She went, she took took on the same class and third graders she hadn't second grade. And over the summer, she like literally called me and said, I know why Arden is struggling with math. And I was like, why is that she was while I was just sitting down and filling out my lesson plans and getting my book ready for next year. We are sending her to the nurse, right? Like two minutes before the math portion of the day. And she's missing the explanation every day, like every day, but she comes back and she puts her head down and tries to figure it out. She doesn't make you know, she doesn't say anything. But in a year and a half. Like we were literally I've joked about this before we thought like oh, maybe he's a little dumb. You know, like, like she was really she she was really struggling in math. And you know, it took a couple of years to like, get her caught back up again. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that for years and years after that, Arden believed she was not good at math. Oh, but she is, you know, and it's taken a number of like now that she's in college has taken a number of advanced like, mathematics stuff that you look I look at and I go I don't understand why numbers and letters are on the same piece of paper. And like, what's that shape? But she gets that now but lived a long portion of her young life thinking?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 21:46
I'm just not good at that. I'm

Scott Benner 21:48
not good at this. Yeah. And that's just from that one decision. Let's send her every day at 9:45am. Right.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 21:53
And it was a decision that was we

Scott Benner 21:56
had to do it.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 21:57
You had to do it right. And it circulated around one piece of her life, which was diabetes is circulated around when we don't have a CGM. This is the time that we need to have a blood sugar or some visibility to what's happening. Probably it was coming into snack or maybe it was just before lunch or whatever was happening. But you have to kind of mold all of these things together to make it work for the child. Yeah,

Scott Benner 22:22
if you go through these, this list of people, please let my kids stay in class, do everything you can to let them stay in the classroom. One person says, if you have the ability to go do what you need to do in the classroom, like don't even make them come to your office. You know, also, you know, there are a lot of sick people in the nurse's office, right? And I'm not looking to get sick. The you don't I mean, like I don't want the cold is going around the building. Like don't bring me into the small room with all the sick people. If

Jennifer Smith, CDE 22:51
you don't everybody is vomiting, please. There's

Scott Benner 22:55
some kids, they drink a juice. They're like, I'm good. They're like now you gotta sit here. Now you're sitting there for 15 or 20 minutes. And you know, right. Also, psychologically, I'm always with sick people. Right? Like the kid you intersect in the nurse's office on Mondays? Not the same kid you see on Thursday. Correct? All your brain sees is that I'm always with sick people. Right? And am I sick? You don't I mean, right?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 23:19
There's making a connection for the child of I have diabetes, it must be an illness. I'm sick i n. You know, unfortunately, that kind of crosses over into a lot of them. You know, what they might hear in the doctor's office about being safe and being careful. And you know, you're more prone to getting ill and like, kids hear an awful lot even though they may not verbalize or question what they're hearing. But eventually it kind of starts to sink in. So that's a very good point to make. Honestly,

Scott Benner 23:52
when Arden got into high school, the we were at the meeting in the summertime and the nurses like where your daughter and I were going to be best friends. And I was like, Listen, I don't want my daughter in your office at all if we can help it right. Yeah, I don't. Don't be friendly. I mean, you can be friendly with her. But like, don't keep her there. You don't I mean, this isn't a club. She's like, got the kids hanging out. I'm like, no, no, they're at school. are hanging out with you? This is not the sick kid club. No, thank you. Like, like, but she meant it so positively sure, you know, and upbeat. And then then there's a pushback. And then we had to explain, you know, listen, in the summer before art and went to kindergarten, I went to the elementary school that was local to me where my son had already gone. So I was a person who they at least knew. I went into the office and they said, Hey, I'd like to set up the groundwork. You know, for my daughter being here with diabetes. And they said Your daughter's not here. I said, No, no, it should be here next year. And they laughed, like literally stood the office and laughed at me. I was like, No, I really think this is something we should be ahead of you Yeah, there's like, no, no, like, we're gonna get your 504 plan set up. It's gonna be fine, right? I was like, Okay, I don't know anything about it, Jenny. I was like, my kid had only had diabetes for a couple years. I'd never send a kid with diabetes through school. And they said, We're gonna have a 504 meeting. And I was like, great. So they bring me in a couple of weeks before school starts. If they sit down to give me a piece of paper, I'm not lying to you had five bullet points on it, I'm sure. And it was the most basic stuff. And they were like, This is the plan we're going to follow. And I looked at it, and then I got the laugh at them. You're like, I know, I said, if this is all you know about diabetes, my kid's gonna be dead in a month. Like so like, this isn't gonna do it. She's five, she weighs not very much her blood sugar bounces around a lot. CGM is weren't a thing yet. Like, you know, like, this is right. Using going to work, you know. So I went home. And I read, I think three different 504 plans that were available online. I think I got one from the ADEA. I got one from JDRF. I got one from somewhere else. I read over them. And then I cherry picked from them the things that I thought impacted her. And I built a 504 plan. I brought it back and this is the 504 plan. And they laughed at me. They're like, we're not doing all this. And I was like, oh, no, you are. And then we got into it. Right. I did not win that fight. And about whenever the spring was, you know, so a few months later, they had a system like we had Oregon come down at certain times, I was able to get that done. Check her blood sugar at this time. Bring her back before recess. Check her blood sugar before she goes outside for recess. Check her blood sugar before lunch, give her insulin, check her blood sugar two hours after lunch. I think that's about how I had it set up. So one day, this little boy comes into the nurse's office with a breathing problem. And they had to give them a breathing treatment. And it was a lot of like it was unexpected. Sure. And you know, a lot of running around I guess in the office a little bit. But it happened right before Arden's recess. So they just forgot Arden they were supposed to call down to have her come up. They didn't do the call. She's five, she just was like, right out on roles right out on the playground. Now, Scotty had a backup plan. Okay, so all the stuff that was set up, I had an alarm on my phone. So I know I'm supposed to hear from them. At this time. I give a little bit of leeway. But a couple minutes later, I'm like, I call the nurses office. I said, Hey, you didn't call me about art. And the nurse goes up. Oh, Arden and then hangs up the phone. I was like, Okay,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 27:39
so like, can you get in your car and you're driving, sat

Scott Benner 27:43
next to the phone going, Oh, my God, like just my heart, my throat. Oh, and I get a call back. Obviously about 10 minutes later, hey, it's us. Arden's fine, and I'm like, oh, yeah, she goes, and she tells me all about the kid with the breathing treatment. I'm like, fantastic. I said, where, you know, how's Arden doing? Well, she was low. And then goes on to tell me how she's on the top of one of those turtle like jungle gym things crawling around, and they tested her blood sugar. It was like 52. So I took that opportunity to say, look, that stuff I brought you in the 504 plan that you laughed at me about this is why it's there. Pretty important. Yeah, you know, and we use that opportunity to move forward. But it was a it was a growing experience for them. Because they finally were like, Oh, that guy's not crazy. The thing he said was gonna go wrong, actually went wrong. You know, and that was the beginning of the relationship. Then those two nurses and I all through elementary school, we were like, thick as thieves because they trusted me that right. But I was a soothsayer, I predicted the future. Right? You know, and, but we had such a great process. And then I'll tell you that the what we did then is when art and went to like middle school after that, I brought those nurses with me to meet the nurses from the middle school for the first time. That's a great idea. Because they sat there, they're like, whatever that guy says. Just do it. And like like getting a you don't and that built that I had built in confidence then with the new nurse. And then we did it again. At high school. I brought the middle school nice to the high school when the high school nurse started pushing back, that middle school nurse was like, Listen, I have never seen a kid with a stable or steady blood sugar's as this kid, like, listen to what he's saying, you know, but there's a lot or Jenny, like it was a ton. It's

Jennifer Smith, CDE 29:25
an enormous amount of work. And then when you've got schools that really do give a lot of pushback, no matter what information and what data you provide, to prove what you're trying to have written into their plan of care. I mean, that is a lot of the reason that, you know, I actually encourage people that you sit down with your endo and go through that and even get their signature on it because as you said early on, many times they're gonna say, Well, we have to call the doctor about that. But the doctor signatures at the bottom of that plan If you're more likely to decrease the need to call the doctor because clearly everything on this plan was already okayed by the doctor

Scott Benner 30:09
I have or had when Artem was in school. I don't know the sentence Exactly. But there was a sentence in the 504 plan that said, you know, these are all the rules, but decisions about food dosing, all that stuff are adjustable by the parents. Yeah, that was it. You know, another

Jennifer Smith, CDE 30:32
similar line that, again, something usual written on a lot of people's, as parents have final say, or final decision in dosing, meals, snacks, low treatments, all of that kind of stuff. This is the plan. But, you know, if questions, call the parent, the parent has the final say, it

Scott Benner 30:51
protects the nurse, honestly. And also, I think, allows the nurse to feel a little comfortable, because, I mean, I can put myself in their position, the doctor's orders, say, you know, three units for this, and I'm like, No, do four. And they're like, Oh, I'm gonna do put an extra unit and so on this kid, send it back to class, so they can pass out, right? And then I didn't know, you know, like, so it's a big deal to get that into your 504. If you can, right? This person says, Please be careful about how you talk to children. They are sensitive, they know a lot. Don't comment on their numbers, or the carbs on their plate. Don't scare them about high low blood sugars. Be patient with them, because their blood sugars can affect their moods. This lady also says please, please don't ask me to do more than I'm already doing. Like, I have enough on my plate till I'm doing the best I can. I think that's a big deal. They're like, don't scare the kids don't try to it is, you know, I don't know, take what you think, you know, and pass it on to them in a split second in passing moment when their blood sugars are all over the place. Correct.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 31:54
And I think from that judgment standpoint, it was this person said something about, you know, don't judge on the carb kind of thing. Don't judge on the food in general, right? That's not your job. As a school nurse, quite honestly, there's probably somebody else in the background, who's already assisting the family to navigate proper nutrition and an intake and everything that might be needed. And you know what, maybe the kid has a lot of really considerable food preferences, right? Maybe the only three different things at lunch, and that's what has to be sent. And maybe it is 80 grams of carbohydrate. And as a school nurse, you're like, well, their blood sugar will look better if they didn't eat so much carbohydrate, that's not your business, just not their

Scott Benner 32:34
blood sugar would look better if their pancreas was working, right. But a lot of ifs in there, the no shame thing comes up over and over again, with the feedback from people like please don't shame my kid. It's all hard enough already. Open communication, big deal. You know, like, let's go back and forth be on the same team? Why are we fighting with each other? Like, that one's fascinating. You know why, right? Like the nurse is protecting their professional life. And, you know, and you're trying to protect your kids health. And you know, that in the middle are these orders that are probably not going to work most of the time. So, you know, sucks? Could you help us with our 504 plan, so that, yeah, I'm throwing that in there for school nurses, like people don't know what the hell a 504 plan is, when their kids are diagnosed, usually, it'd be helpful for them, if you could walk them through it, tell them how the process works through the school, that kind of stuff.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 33:25
And if you've worked with somebody who has a system that's working really well with type one, and you have their 504, obviously, getting rid of all the personal information that might be in it, but maybe have those as a good example, for families who are new that you're working with and are questioning, I don't even know where to start with a 504 plan. Or maybe you have a list of sites of available examples to be able to provide them with. And then they can pick and choose because again, all of these 504 plans being very individualized, you're very likely to find one that is almost similar enough to what you're doing with your child. And you can start it as a template that it works better than somebody else's 504 plan that's like, you know, not eating very much, or whatever it is,

Scott Benner 34:12
yeah, and make little adjustments to fit you. And I also I like to say to, Don't be unreasonable in it. Because when you start being like, hey, you know, my kid really needs a Ferris wheel, you start making big asks, or like, you're trying to take advantage of this. And then you don't get taken seriously, because you look like you're, you're grabbing. You know, like, I think that's important. I also, I like to remind people that usually as the kids grow, there's something on your 504 plan that was super important in second grade, that doesn't matter in fourth grade anymore. And if you want to be a real hero at your 504 meeting, say oh, you know, like line three there, we can strike that you guys don't need to do that anymore. Like it feels like you're giving something back to them. You know, like there's one less thing for them to worry about. So, you know, I think that's a good idea too, especially

Jennifer Smith, CDE 34:58
as things like recess and whatnot change. I mean, my, my little guy has two to three recess sessions a day. And my not so little older child has only two recesses once he gets to middle school, he'll only have one recess a day. So all those things are, as you said, their points of navigation from one year to the next that may change based on schedule, and what's going on for that child. And there might be some new things, there might be several things that are able to be taken out. Yeah,

Scott Benner 35:28
two opportunities in that example, to not replicate out of a classroom, for example, you know, that kind of stuff. This person says, I, our school nurses, terrific, I have nothing bad to say, but here's why she's terrific. She'll like discreetly pop into my son's classroom, check on him for a second, make sure everything's alright, slipped back out again, instead of him leaving class and missing that class time. But she goes on and on. But I think what she's really saying here is she has a school nurse who's putting that kid in the same polling that kids health at the same level as the mom does, yes. Like, do you know what I mean? Like she's, that's that extra effort that you have to put in when you you have a kid with type one. And

Jennifer Smith, CDE 36:05
in today's world, with the technology that we have, it's lovely that the school nurses even just popping ahead in to just visibly see that the child looks like they're okay. But I've gotten a lot of families whose school nurses are absolutely able and willing to do like, like Dexcom has Dexcom follow, or they might be using something like sugar meat in which they can look and follow online, they can even make notes about what was what was used for a treatment or whatnot, which translates right over into the parents. So it's a it's almost a seamless communication. And there's a lot less texting and stuff that kind of can happen. i There are there are kids, teachers and classrooms and even nursing stations that have things like was it sugar pixel and the glucose just visit they might have the name on, you know, so they know which one they're looking at. And again, that means that the nurse doesn't necessarily have to get up out of her office. She's just visibly able to see where are things going. What's this next child's schedule look like? You know, from that standpoint, it can be useful tools, technology

Scott Benner 37:05
was brought up over and over again from people especially because a lot of people do get into that situation where I think I've seen it, I'm seeing it shift more over the last couple of years. But in the beginning was CGM. So for people who are listening who don't know a continuous glucose monitor the device that the kids wearing, it's reporting back their blood sugar in real time that you can see on a number of different devices, right, like phones, Android, Apple phones, iPads, stuff like that. There was a time where they would say, well, we don't want that data, because then it's a liability, because now I know if the kids low, and if I don't react well or I don't see it for some reason, or my phone's not near me. Now it's my fault if the kid has a low blood sugar. To me, that was a really strange way to think about it. But it is that was the initial pushback from from school nurses. Like, I'm not at fault, if I don't know. So don't tell me. Some nurses were like, Yeah, give me the information. I want that. And more and more. I am seeing nurses following kids on CGM in schools, just to watch a kid's blood sugar for a day or two, it would take so much of your anxiety away, you don't I mean, you'd see what's happening. You can make adjustments or in you know, in concert with the parents make adjustments and not have all the worries that you had before. So embrace the technology, for sure. Right?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 38:21
Learn a little bit about it. I mean, that might be an additional session that you end up spending with the parents to learn from them. What what is the technology doing, especially if again, like I mentioned before, they are using an algorithm type of pumping system, learn what's the system really doing? How does it act, because all of them are a little bit different, right? And so it's really important to understand what one child system might do that another one's not necessarily going to do the same way. Yeah,

Scott Benner 38:49
I have some stuff here from actual school nurses. It says I am a school nurse, but I'm also a type one parent. It's extremely hard to follow doctor's orders when you know that that's not the right thing to do for the student. Luckily, I am the school nurse for my son so I can do what I want. But it's very frustrating when having to follow the typical standard orders that don't fit for everyone with other students. Yeah, then that's something to really remember is that you might have a great school nurse who is right there with you. I don't know why they wouldn't say that though. Like why why why not just like whisper go, Hey, listen, you know, I'm stuck here. Let's fix the water. So I can give me a little more autonomy here to help you write another school nurse on the school nurse and also a mom of a type one. school nurses with diabetics just have to understand that each student's diabetes needs are different. Just like student's educational needs are different in the classroom as a parent with type two a type one. What I didn't understand until working as a nurse in school is that you are held to the doctor's orders. Yes, the parents know how to manage, they know how to manage better. They know how to help keep the numbers in check, but I've got to do what the doctor put So on that piece of paper, yeah, so that's really, it goes all back. It's that one sentence on the 504. Yeah. Would you say you put it eloquently and succinctly?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 40:10
Yeah, it's just parents have final say it's dosing, snacks, treatments, etc. Whatever you want to include in that statement is that follow the orders. But parents have final say

Scott Benner 40:20
this parent says, I would just love to know what the nurse needs from me. Yeah, like, I want to help you help my kid like, so if your hands are tied, or you're having trouble with something come to me and tell me that let's see if we can work it out together. Right? That's excellent. This person made your point from earlier, don't settle for the way things used to be done. Yeah, a lot has changed significantly for the better for type one diabetes, for kids for health and safety, embrace the new technology, try to dive into it. This is exactly everything you said. If you've been at this for a long time, learn how to use an iPad, if you don't know how you figured out the apps that you can track the kids on, help us to push our kids to take, you know, good control for themselves. Sometimes an outside caregiver can really help the transition to more in dependency, that's a good point. Like, you have an opportunity there, right? Because the parents might be butting heads with a kid. But all of a sudden, you know, what's that analogy? I always say like, you know, if your kids play baseball, and you're the coach and your kids the pitcher, you never go out and talk to your own kid, you know, send a different coach out there, right? Not gonna go well. So work with the parents, not against them be an ally, stand up for my kids. This was interesting. Oh, that's a great one. If the district is making some ridiculous policy, or school administrators aren't allowing you to do something like for instance, a remote monitor with a CGM, you could use your voice to stand up. You could say, Hey, I know this is the rule. But these people are right. This would be great. If we did this, you know,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 41:49
and bring in safety whenever you're right. Very likely what the parents are bringing up and that you know yourself. It's a safety consideration. And if you can prove that what they're asking for actually increases the safety and decreases the risk to the school. That's a hit point.

Scott Benner 42:07
One of the best moments for Arden in going through schools regarding her diabetes care. It's also one of the saddest moments I've experienced. So I came up with something that I think is it's episode for the podcast. It's I think that episode is called texting diabetes. And there was this day where I was in the house and Arden was upstairs. And she I could see on her CGM, she needed a little more insulin. And I was about to get up and walk upstairs and tell her and I just didn't feel like it now post lazy and I was like, I don't want to do this. I picked up my phone and I was like, hey, I need you to Bolus a half a unit and admitted to later she goes, okay. And then I was like, Oh my god. That was easy. That was so easy. To move again. And my brain started racing. I was like, it worked from here to upstairs. It would work from here to down the street at her friend's house. Schools not that much farther. It would work from here. Oh, wait a minute. And then I froze, because I had trouble doing it at first. But I had trouble doing it. Because it turns out when she was in the house, and I felt like oh, if something went wrong, I was there to help. Right? Yeah. When she's not with me, I didn't have that same comfort. But then suddenly, I was like, well at school. I mean, the nurses there they have glucagon. They know what to do. I've explained it 1000 times. Like, you know, Arden was never a seizure at school. Like I don't want that. But I bet she'd be okay. Right. And then I stretch my legs. I was like, alright, well, now we're gonna start doing it at school. Arden's blood sugar's were never so good. As when she and I are in concert, we're just managing right through through texting. It's the it's the unsung hero of diabetes, texting seriously. And you

Jennifer Smith, CDE 43:47
may have also had leeway then in terms of what she could have on her person. I know some schools are really strict. And even if doctor writes that it's okay, or whatever their protocol is that things like, especially the older school blood glucose meters, or like the PDM for the controller, or what's now the controller for Omnipod had to stay in the nurse's office, it couldn't even stay with the child. Right? And so in that case, texting diabetes is a great idea. But you're not going to get anywhere because the child no longer holds their product to you. Well, I

Scott Benner 44:27
had to what did I have to do? I had to get her phone set up as a medical device in her 504 plan. That was the first thing I had to accomplish. Then I had to get them to put her phone on the teachers Wi Fi. Oh, so that we had, you know, stage stable communication. And that came with we had to go to a meeting where they got to look at Arden and tell her like you're not allowed to use your phone during school. Like like nowadays, I don't think it matters. I honestly I think that things have changed so much since then that's probably laughable to kids, but She took it very seriously. Like I told her, I was like, Look, this is a thing they're letting us do. It's making your day much easier. Like, you know, it's nice to say to kids, like your health is better, but kids don't think about that day to day. I'm like, Look, your life is easier. You're not going to the nurse. You know, if you need a little bit of insulin, you and I are talking it takes a split second, instead of you having to go through this whole rigmarole like, just be cool. And don't use your phone at school, right? One day she came home so seriously, she was so earnest. She goes, we got out of class early today. I was like, great, because I opened Instagram, do you think I'm gonna get in trouble? I was like, Oh, honey, I don't think anybody's gonna know. So

Jennifer Smith, CDE 45:36
it was like after getting out of bed, it was

Scott Benner 45:38
done. It was just the day was over. But she's like, I did open it while I was on the Wi Fi. And I was like, what an opportunity. I wish a teacher could have seen how much it meant to her to have that access. You know what I mean? But yeah, those are the things we had to do. Because the regular school Wi Fi sucks. Most of your buildings are built out of bricks and blocks, and you're not going to get good signals in some places. And that's going to panic the hell out of you. You know, when you can see the blood sugar, see it see it all of a sudden, it's just gone. So school teachers Wi Fi. In the end, they were very cool about it. I had a really wonderful experience throughout art in school. But I want to say this too. I recognized early on. When I came in that day, you know that that before kindergarten started that to those people I looked at in my mind. Like, do you mean like you were that you did? Yeah, I know. I wasn't I know that pre planning was the right thing to do. But to them, it wasn't something that we're used to I look, I look like a crackpot. And so I spent a lot of time not looking crazy. And I and I found the best way to do that is you don't over explain. Because diabetes has so many variables and steps and intricacies and nooks and crannies, that when you just start talking about it, you sound nuts. Like, you know, maybe you're like You're like because if the insulin goes into soon, and then she gets active, that activity is gonna bring her insulin down, then she might have a seizure, she has a seat like you You sound crazy to other people you're not by the

Jennifer Smith, CDE 47:03
way, you're not it's like a it's like a flow of everything that you honestly don't know. Right. But it's in terms of what needs to be applied in the school setting. That's all they need to know.

Scott Benner 47:17
Yeah, I'll also tell you, this emails that you send to nurses or people in the office that go over about three or four sentences make you look crazy. Gets into manifesto types. Yeah, you're also seeing it as a, you know, I hate to say like, seeing it as a, you know, a marathon, not a sprint, because it sounds, you know, sounds sounds douchey. But like it it is like, right? Like, you're not trying to get all the information to them today. Like, you know, it's it's a slow process, you're given an out a little bit by a little bit, you're building a relationship, you don't want end their people to they're just at work, right? You know what I mean? Like, don't, don't beat the hell out of them. They're, they're not, they're not, you know, they're just at work, like you go to work to you don't want people lump of extra stuff for you to do on all day. So pick and choose and, and try to, you know, try to not ask for more than is really necessary. Right? You know, it's all you're looking for is for your kids blood sugar to be stable and to be able to like, react to emergencies,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 48:18
and to allow them to also stay in class as much as feasibly possible. Right. I mean, that's again, what they're there for.

Scott Benner 48:25
This person said, you know, please be compassionate show patients over and over again, I want to point out how thankful people were in the feedback for the nurses and all the things they do this one person says, I think the Joslin diabetes Center in Boston has school nurse training sessions of maybe twice a year. Oh, yeah, that may be your local hospital has something like that? Yeah. Do you have anything to add that you think we might have missed? No.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 48:49
But that's interesting. Along the same lines, if you are a school nurse, and in your area there is a pediatric endocrine practice are several of them. It may behoove you to actually call and see if any of them have class type of education for people with type one. And that you could very well get some good information by just attending even one of those classes. Yeah. Right. Because that's free information. And while it is your time, yeah.

Scott Benner 49:24
Also joining the Facebook group for the podcast. Even if you just lurk in there for a couple of weeks, your understanding will lift way up. I don't want to end on a sour note. But I do want to bring this up. There is a line to like, you have to know your place a little bit. So I don't remember I honestly don't remember what it was but in high school, art in school nurse had a question about her care plan that she didn't understand. And instead of asking me are Arden she called our doctor's office? Yeah, no, yeah. And then I yelled at her a lot on the phone. So That's not any of your business. Like that is not uncommon, by the way, I see a lot. That happens a lot. Like, I don't know what you think you're doing calling somebody's doctor, but don't do. Yeah, yeah. And I want to say to this episode comes very much from the perspective of people who are trying really hard, who were very involved. And you may be also involved as a school nurse with people who don't understand a damn thing about diabetes and aren't putting any effort into it. But you got to not be jaded when you get to the next person who is trying, like, right, like, those are two different situations. I don't know how to tell you to help those people. I really don't. But, you know, right. Anyway,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 50:42
outside of giving them information about where they can get better. Yeah, information, go

Scott Benner 50:46
check this out. Have you heard you know, like, there's probably nice little ways to drop that in there. But saying things like, your numbers are crazy. And you're gonna, like, that's doesn't work, it doesn't work for doctors, it's not going to work for your school nurse. And anyway, I appreciate all the great school nurses that my daughter's had over the years. They were all fantastic. In one way or another. I would say that any stumbling blocks we came upon. I stayed calm, they stayed calm, we got past them. You know, the worst thing you can do, in my opinion, as a parent, is be the person who, when you walk into the building, or when the phone rings, they think Oh, it's this one. Like you don't you don't want your comes Jenny. your loins? Yeah, like, you don't want to be that person. Like, it's no, it's definitely not gonna have a good ending anyway. And I think too, as

Jennifer Smith, CDE 51:35
a as kind of a last point, it's also, you know, your child has one thing, or maybe a couple of different health things to navigate. And in those, I guess, instances, you expect the school nurse to become really knowledgeable about that issue. And you have to think that the school nurse isn't just there to navigate kids who have type one diabetes, they're there to navigate a whole host, you know, allergy medications, dosing of specific things for for irritations and allergies are through their heads. Yeah, there is. And so you have to understand that while you're, your child's needs are absolutely important. There are other kids who have needs that are just as important to and so expecting to establish some type of schedule that obviously works based on what's happening for the school nurse, ya

Scott Benner 52:30
know, it's, there's, there's a lot to consider there's a lot of human beings involved a lot of pressure. And, you know, I think there's some grace has to come from all sides to be perfectly honest, you know, and in the end, you're trying to help the kid be healthier, happier, become educated, and not leave with some sort of a feeling that they're, you know, broken or a problem or, you know, that kind of thing. So, anyway, I appreciate when everybody does, and I appreciate you, Jenny. So I'll talk to you soon.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. You spell that g VOKEGL. You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. I want to thank the ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and invite you to go to ever since cgm.com/juice box to learn more about this terrific device. You can head over now and just absorb everything that the website has to offer. And that way you'll know if ever since feels right for you. Ever since cgm.com/juice box. I'd like to thank cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and remind you that using my offer code juice box at checkout will save you 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com That's the sheets, the towels, the clothing, anything available on the website. If you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you're looking for some fresh perspective, the bold beginning series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CDC es a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years. And in the bowl beginning series Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698 In your podcast player, or you can go to juicebox podcast.com and click on bold beginnings in the menu. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation, but please give the private Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast a hell The once over Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes. The group now has 47,000 members in it, it gets 150 new members a day, it is completely free. And at the very least, you can watch other people talk about diabetes, and everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones, everyone is welcome. Go up into the feature tab of the private Facebook group. And there you'll see lists upon lists of all of the management series that are available to you for free in the Juicebox Podcast, becoming a member of that group. I really think it will help you it will at least give you a community. You'll be able to kind of lurk around see what people are talking about. Pick up some tips and tricks. Maybe you can ask a question or offer some help Juicebox Podcast type on diabetes on Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

#1154 After Dark: Sterling Silver

Sterling has type 1 diabetes. WARNING: This conversation contains the topic of physical and sexual abuse.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1154 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's show I'm going to be speaking with Sterling. She's 27 years old was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 23. She's a figure and commercial model. Her father was an Olympian. And at one point, Sterling was on her way to being a professional golfer. I want to let you all know up front that this conversation will involve physical and sexual abuse, so please be ready. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D. Drink ag one.com/juice box. If you'd like to help with type one diabetes research and are a US resident you're in luck because the T one D exchange is looking for you. The T one D exchange is looking for people living with type one diabetes or their caregivers to fill out a quick survey T one D exchange.org/juicebox. You can help type one diabetes research right from your sofa and it'll just take 10 minutes T one d exchange.org/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one touched by type one.org and find them on Facebook and Instagram touched by type one is an organization dedicated to helping people living with type one diabetes. And they have so many different programs that are doing just that check them out at touched by type one.org. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod and the Omni pod five. Learn more and get started today at Omni pod.com/juice box. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever sent CGM and implantable six month sensor is what you get with ever since. But you get so much more exceptional and consistent accuracy over six months, and distinct on body vibe alerts when you're high or low on body vibe alerts. You don't even know what that means. Do you ever since cgm.com/juicebox, go find out.

Sterling 2:34
My name is Sterling Hawkins and I am 27 years old. I was diagnosed at 23 in 2019 in January with type one diabetes. And I am I mean a summary. I'm a figure model my commercial model. I'm an art director and I manifest and that's just kind of how I get everything in life. So yeah.

Scott Benner 2:59
Excellent. Who named you? Was it for a superhero movie? Or like your name is terrific. I always think it when I say it.

Sterling 3:06
Yeah. My father, my dad named me and he named me based off the football player.

Scott Benner 3:13
Sterling Sharpe,

Sterling 3:15
yes. Because he really wanted boys. And he wanted to be a sports dad. And then he got two girls and he was like, Okay, we're still I'm still gonna be a sports dad. And I'm gonna name you that and then he did my sister Alon, which is he watched the Mulan movie and he's like, I like move on. But I'm gonna change it to an E instead. So

Scott Benner 3:41
that's what happened. Did he make you play sports?

Sterling 3:43
Oh, yes. I mean, we played tennis basketball. He was really into Serena and Venus Williams and he really thought as like to two black women and two black children. We could get better opportunity doing no sports that also didn't really have too many black people in it. So we did golf. And that's kind of what it dwindled down to was golf and we were we're headed serious. I was headed towards professional until I got diagnosed with diabetes. I got full ride scholarship to school for it. Wow. My my handicap was a plus one.

Scott Benner 4:21
Oh my god. I don't know what that means. But it sounds very impressive.

Sterling 4:26
It's impressive, but it definitely a long way from being anywhere in the top 10. But I was that that was kind of the the goal. My whole life. That's kind of how He raised us. He's an Olympian, too. He was in the Olympics in 1984 in the LA Olympics.

Scott Benner 4:44
Yeah, hurdles. No kidding.

Sterling 4:46
Yeah. So he got he got six plays because he actually hurt his knee. Going over one of the hurdles I don't know if it was that time but it he thought that they set it up incorrectly. So he hurt his knee during the Olympics.

Scott Benner 5:03
Oh, wow. Yeah. But by the way, because of the internet, this is fascinating. Sterling Hawkings was named the 2017 PacWest. Golfer of the

Sterling 5:15
year, I have a few news articles on me somewhere.

Scott Benner 5:19
That that's really interesting. Oh my gosh. And so, you and your talk while you're really talking? Yeah,

Sterling 5:25
yeah, I'm six one, but I'm mostly wearing heels most of the time. So I am six, five, which does not deter the five, six men, the five, six men. It doesn't stop them, they still come, they still come more so than the six foot men, the six foot men have a serious insecurity issue versus the five, six men throwing

Scott Benner 5:43
I'm going to tell you something that I'm gonna end up having to bleep out portions. But I just put up an episode with a blind woman. Yeah. Gets dick pics on dating. No. Yes. Oh. And they know, by the way, wow. Fascinating. Fascinating. Yeah.

Sterling 6:03
So it's like, it's like, she doesn't see it. But she knows because I'm writing that I sent it. And that's what's the exciting part?

Scott Benner 6:14
Yeah, I guess the assumption is, well, she's gonna have to show it to somebody to help like, anyway, I think that's a fascinating look into some men's like psyches. Yeah, I really do. And the same thing. So guys that are six, seven inches shorter than you come up to you with all the all the confidence in the world. And

Sterling 6:34
all the confidence without any type of respect.

Scott Benner 6:38
I was like, how does that happen? Um, because

Sterling 6:40
I've been I was in that. So I stopped going into the dating world after I only started going into the dating world. As surprising as this is as being a model. I only started this year, I was with my ex for about three and a half, four years. And he was the first one who even had the courage to ask me anything. And I just said, Yes, straight on the spot. I was like, Sure. And we lived together like six months after we dated. And we stayed through COVID together. And you know, he's a really great guy. But things just didn't quite work out the way that I had wanted. And I was like, Okay, well, I've never dated. So let's try that. And then I'm like, let's not do that. Again.

Scott Benner 7:22
I don't think you can give up after one tries throwing, oh,

Sterling 7:25
it was 250 Man I've talked to so try, but I, you know, I use my dad's diligence of doing 200% into something and I really did that. And I said, you know, I'm gonna take a break now.

Scott Benner 7:39
There is there is really something to it. My wife is I mean, five, nine. And that's not compared to you not tall. But compared to most women I meet the course of the day, she's tall. And she told me that she's like, boys like shied away from her constantly. All the guys, all the guys, this is not good for me. But all the guys she was looking for generally speaking, like we're scared to talk to her.

Sterling 8:02
Yeah, they're just they're intimidated when they know that I I'm really independent art and my dad grew up super independent. So I don't really take like, BS from anyone. And, you know, it's hard to get through to me. So it's like, it's not worth it. You know, so you know, being a model, and then having a sense of self to having a mortality stand and ground and being also very serious, like the intention to marry. whether, you know, through dating, it's like that seriousness, intention, is what I'm looking for. In some people, most people are not looking for that. And I've been through the age ranges I've been from I've dated people who are like, I've talked to people who are 23. And I've talked to people who are 36, which is, you know, on both spectrums of my age, and I just haven't quite like, figured out what area of group is best for me because they're all similar. Do you

Scott Benner 8:59
do you think people look at you like a trophy? Because you're, you're different because you're taller? Like, is that like, that is an example like you think, Oh, wow, I'll see if I can't get a tall girl. Or like, Do you know what I mean? Like, do you think that happens? Do you have any feelings for what happens? Yeah.

Sterling 9:15
Yeah, I mean, I think that definitely happens. I think, like, it's the idea that I'm not because even people and even men who are looking for relationships, they don't see me as a relationship. They see me as someone who is a trophy in that way. It was interesting when I first started, you know, going and talking to these dates. I only I actually only went on seven dates in the first month. Like I actually went out after that I didn't go out because one, you know, men were too intimidated to go out with me. They call it castering. Nowadays, when they say oh yeah, I'll take you out. Oh, yeah, let's do this. We can ride in my car and I'm like, okay, when and they're like, sometime

Scott Benner 9:59
at some For you kidding. Well, you're you're also you're unique looking. And you're pretty, but you're like, you don't mean like there's like, I don't know this Yeah. Into my psyche. Yeah. But you're unique and pretty at the same time. Yeah. Like, like, I don't like I don't look you in the face and think, oh my gosh, like, you've got to, like Sunday. Yeah. That that that kind of feeling. Yeah. Makes sense to you. Yeah.

Sterling 10:22
Yeah, exactly. I'm sure I'm sure isn't day has been through a similar run. So I should probably hold on to Tom Holland so fast. Like, this is like, I'm ready to get married.

Scott Benner 10:33
This boy is talking to me.

Sterling 10:37
Like that, it's not hard to get to me. It's just being confident and also getting to know me, I think a lot of these guys like, I do mostly show my art direction. Like, on my dating apps, or like, in person or anything, I mostly show my art. They go towards my modeling instead. And then they're like, how did you get into modeling? And I'm like, Well, do you want to actually hear the whole story about, you know, how I was raped as a child and molested through my whole life. And like, I couldn't wear clothes. And I thought I looked like a boy. And you know, like, going through this whole iteration. And then at the end of all of that, you know, and being like, I am naked in front of people because I wanted to take power in my body and myself. And I thought, you know, I'm uncomfortable about this, so I should do it. And at the end of it, they're like, Wow, you're just really pretty.

Scott Benner 11:24
This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by ever since. And ever since is the implantable CGM that last six months ever since cgm.com/juice. Box. Have you ever been running out the door and knocked your CGM off or had somewhere to be and realize that your adhesive was about to fall off? That won't happen with ever since ever since won't get sweaty and slide off, it won't bang into a door jamb and it lasts six months, not just a couple days or a week. The ever since CGM has a silicone based adhesive forge transmitter, which you change every day. So it's not one of those super sticky things. It's designed to stay on your forever and ever, even though we know they don't work sometimes. But that's not the point. Because it's not that kind of adhesive. You shouldn't see any skin irritations so if you've had skin irritations with other products, maybe you should try ever since unique, implantable and accurate so if you're tired of dealing with things falling off or being too sticky or not sticky enough or not staying on for the life of the sensor, you probably want to check out ever since ever since cgm.com/juicebox links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod five tubeless automated insulin delivery with the Omni pod five. Omni pod five is the first and only tubeless automated insulin delivery system to integrate with Dexcom G six. It's available for people with type one diabetes, ages two and above. And it features smart adjust technology and smart adjust is watching out for you by helping to protect against high and lows both day and night. Just like the Omni pod dash the Omni pod five is tubeless waterproof, and can be worn almost anywhere you give yourself an injection. Each pod eliminates the need for multiple daily injections. Plus, the automated insulin delivery system and CGM integration helps simplify life in so many ways. If you find yourself having FOMO fear of missing out on Omni pod, you don't need to all you have to do is go to Omni pod.com/juicebox To learn more, and get started today.

Sterling 13:49
Wow. And that's that's the end of the conversation there. I'm like, great. Thank you. It sounds like more than once. Thank you. Thank you for letting me know.

Scott Benner 13:57
Well, Sterling, I I'm going to ask you a question that I guess because you brought it up and you took me by surprise. You know, before we started talking, you're like, you know, how do you want this conversation? I said, Just tell your story. And you said it could get dark and I was like that's fine. I didn't know it was gonna get that dark. You don't worry. It's just not my I didn't start a diabetes podcast thinking I'd have conversations like this, but I certainly have had a number of them. So what do you mean, what happened? Like what happened when you were a child? Yeah,

Sterling 14:27
so I am so open to talking about this. And like before I even start is the reason why is because I wanted to be calm. And my goal is to be able to motivate people in the world. And to be able to do that you got to be vulnerable. And so I've been really learning about this healing journey and just talking about it more so that I can resonate with people. Because a lot of people look at me and they're like, Oh, you're so thin. You're so x, y z you know, and they don't know if they don't know how diabetes until they see my pump now that I have or they don't know my story until I told them that I was actually 50 pounds heavier, you know. And so, with that, that's kind of my intention when I tell people so I'm open to any questions or anything. But what happened was younger. My sister I think was about three, I was about five. And it was actually our we lived in a neighborhood. That was a cul de sac. And we had a babysitter who was one of my childhood friends who's unfortunately addicted to cocaine, and like all of that now, because his whole entire life was awful. But we grew up with her and she, she babysat us. And eventually, she, you know, I don't know how descriptive but just, she would basically physically abused me or my sister, if we didn't do what she said she would line us up outside the room, and like, I would go into the room. And then whatever, I had to do whatever she told me to do, and then she'd be like, go get your sister. And if I didn't listen, she would, you know, punish me. She would send my sister on me. So my sister was too young, like, I was too young to understand, but my sister was even younger. So she would prompt my sister to chase me on the room and like, hit me with toy trains. Like, gosh, so I would be running for my life crying, and I'd be telling her to please save me as a child, and she would just be laughing, and she thought it was hilarious.

Scott Benner 16:21
How much older was she than you?

Sterling 16:23
She was probably 16. Okay. So much, much older. Yeah. So she,

Scott Benner 16:30
she'd abused you physically have the two of you abused each other physically? And then she asked you to perform sexual acts on her. That's right. Yes. Well, yeah. So how long did that go on for?

Sterling 16:43
I don't remember. I mean, unfortunately, with a lot of my childhood stuff, I only remember, blips up until 20, up until I was 20. Because my brain just kind of turned everything off. So I don't know how long it went for or went on for. I mean, we stayed at that house for quite some time, I didn't fully tell my family until I was 23. Because I just didn't want like, obviously, the victim's point of view is not telling the family because you don't want them to worry, because you're already tired. So that's kind of how I was when I was growing up. I was very closeted, like I was very nonverbal. And a part of me like so I did get diagnosed with the possibility of ASD and ADHD, which also doesn't help my dating life. But, but I got diagnosed with those two, and I'm just not sure if the correlation is is with the trauma because it was so young, but there's nothing to compare to what what what I was like before that. Sure. And so I just was very quiet growing up, I have a lot of sensory issues. And yeah, it was just a very different person growing up. I was I felt like I looked like a guy like I felt super ugly. I felt I was 50 pounds heavier. And I couldn't figure out ever How to lose that weight. When

Scott Benner 18:05
you were 50 pounds heavier than you are now. How tall are you?

Sterling 18:08
I was probably like 511. I mean, I've been six foot like I'm 11 Six foot? Yeah, in high school, I guess.

Scott Benner 18:16
Would you call it like extra weight? Was it like strength? No, it was like

Sterling 18:21
bigger weight. Like I have all the stretch marks and you know, the tiger marks we call them from losing all of that weight. After I turned I think after I turned 19 I started I lost like 20 pounds, which was crazy for me to see. And then after that I kind of lost a few more. And then you know now I'm like around 170. So I used to be there and to 15 to 20. And I'm like at 170. So,

Scott Benner 18:50
how how old were you? You said you were in your late 20s When you are in your 20s Excuse me when you told your family about what happened with the babysitter but did you ever tell anyone else did you and your sister ever speak about it?

Sterling 19:04
No. My sister actually unfortunately for for her. She didn't remember it. But she did get Bell's palsy. She had Bell's palsy when she was very little. And I think it was the stress of that. But her she didn't know and after that she I think fully blocked it out to the point where we've talked a little bit about this or I've talked to my mom about this but she would just kind of play down or even the mullah molestation from other people like I've been felt up by homeless men. Even that growing up she'd be like, I don't see the problem.

Scott Benner 19:37
When you were younger that happened to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throughout my

Sterling 19:42
throughout my life up until I like regained. My sense of self was been around like 2223 Like when I got diagnosed with diabetes that changed my life. So like all the way up until 20 People would like, like in high school, they would come up and grab my breasts. You know, it wasn't like I was wearing anything revealing I would never I would wear like long jeans and like, obviously very closed off. But they would come up and grab me. I was very innocent and like with the, the homeless man situation. For some reason, it's kind of interesting. But for some reason, I was a very loving person, even though I didn't like to be touched. And so I was like, I always gave out candies and gifts to random strangers. And people. I don't know why I do this, but I still do this to this day. And I did that for him. This one guy, and he was like, I can't have candy. I'm diabetic. And he's like, but can I have a hug from you? And like, he wouldn't let me go. And he just felt me all the way up. And this was back when I was 13. Or 14, this was actually Christmas Eve, which didn't make it any better. But you know, I had a hard time telling that story. Because it's something that I decided to let him do to me. And I didn't realize, you know, like, don't touch strangers.

Scott Benner 20:57
I have two questions. Was it difficult to know that you had this experience? And your sister couldn't remember it? It wasn't

Sterling 21:04
difficult, because I didn't know, back then I didn't know what was different. So I mean, it wasn't a shared experience in the way of this is different from my normal life. I don't know how to explain that. It's just like, I don't remember anything before that. So I thought that was normal normal for a very long time, because I didn't understand what it meant to not be normal. You know,

Scott Benner 21:30
that. My My other question is, did your parents I don't know, I never asked if you grew up with two parents? Or how you how you grew up? It didn't No one notice. Like, or were they just in a situation where they had to use this babysitter, and they didn't have any other options? Like did no one notice you were unhappy? Or that you didn't you already mean the kind site?

Sterling 21:50
Yeah, so that's the other side of, you know, the issues that arose. And we don't really talk about this much. But I don't mind talking about podcasts, because I do want to have conversations about this is like my family life growing up was was not great at all. And unfortunately, my mom was getting off depression medication. And so she for 12 years, since I was like, nine was erratic, you know, all the way up until we were like 19. And it was just it, there was no, there was no reason for them to observe me, or ask me because the way that I was raised was very in, like, my dad wanted me to like, and my, you know, my sister to live vicarious. Like, he wanted to live vicariously through us. And so a sports you know, we never went, I didn't get to go to birthday parties growing up, I didn't really hang out with people growing up. You know, with my mom's side, it was a it was a battle of who, who loved her and who loved us. And you know, it was, it was a battle every single day to me kind of being the scapegoat. I have been called every single name under the sun, by my family on a daily basis. So they

Scott Benner 23:07
were either ignoring you or trying to turn you into something that they thought was gonna make money. Yeah,

Sterling 23:12
it was more like, you know, my dad's thinking of intention was like, Oh, she's gonna get a scholarship. And she just has this view of me of us being somewhere. I don't know if it was to make money or not. He doesn't really talk much about that. Or I didn't really notice. But

Scott Benner 23:30
my my kid played college sports, and I thought of it as making money. Yeah, I thought I thought of it as saving money. That's

Sterling 23:39
right. That's that's kind of how my dad thought, you know, it was saving money. Even though golf is very expensive.

Scott Benner 23:47
Yeah, I know. It's funny, like, we're gonna save money if this works out. If it doesn't work out, then we'll just keep carrying around your very expensive golf clubs and all the green fees and everything. That's, that's right.

Sterling 23:58
Yeah, yeah, he has a very different point of view, like my family right now, as a disclaimer, like, we're better now. Great. Um, you know, it's, it's a better situation, because I'm not necessarily living there. But

Scott Benner 24:11
it's much easier to get along with that, but you don't say.

Sterling 24:17
That's right. That's right.

Scott Benner 24:18
Do you have any other autoimmune issues? So

Sterling 24:21
I have hormonal issues. I don't know of any other autoimmune. The hormones like I have to take birth control, I had to actually got an IUD. Because right before I fully became diagnosed, which is like, you know, after my honeymoon is what I'm considering that which was three years later. Yeah. My body just like started with my periods, like halfway through for like, two weeks at a time, like my body would just drag so I felt like a stroke patient.

Scott Benner 24:52
Yeah. Where you had, like very heavy periods, or were they longer or

Sterling 24:59
Yeah, They're very heavy, they were very heavy, but it got to the point where like they would be late. And like my body and my feet would just like numb up. And so I had to go on something or, you know, I couldn't go work out I had anemia on top of that, so that's kind of the only auto immune that I have, like are the hormonal thing. I don't have any others that I know of like, I'm not even lactose. That was something that I joked around with with my sister when I first got diagnosed is like I'm not lactose you are. At least I have that on me. You know?

Scott Benner 25:38
And I'm winning.

Sterling 25:42
Yeah, exactly. I got that one on you. But that's the like, I don't think I have celiac. I've never experienced any type of things like that. Yeah, so I think that's like the only one that I know of that is that is at least prevalent right now.

Scott Benner 26:00
Check this out. ADHD has been related to autoimmune diseases, with epidemiological studies reporting positive within individual associations with several specific autoimmune disorders such as celiac ulcerative colitis, psoriasis. I can I can ever say this, this one Ankylosing Spondylitis type one diabetes. So I will tell you that a lot of people I talked to seem to have ADHD in their family when they when they have like, other autoimmune stuff.

Sterling 26:29
Yes, yes. And I only found out I had ADHD and probably ASD back in November of this last year. Okay, now that I'm so glad that I, you know, a lot of people told me to not seek out this information. They were like, just be quirky. And I for me personally to anybody, like I always say learn as much as you can about yourself because then you can at least utilize tools that can help you get through life and help you recognize why you do some things you know, my dad is definitely undiagnosed ADHD didn't know this growing up because you know, living with someone who has ADHD How can you know any different from the family you live with? You know, he he tends to, to move or his his emotions go up and down a lot, because I don't he doesn't understand. I think why he is the way he is. I'm really glad that I got diagnosed because it helps me see like, what, you know why I act certain ways why I'm so forgetful sometimes. Why can be a little erratic here and there hyper fixated, like, especially on people or crushes, and understanding that too. But yeah, that's really fascinating.

Scott Benner 27:42
So my last question around that stuff that I'm going to talk about how you figured out you had diabetes, but are there other people in your family lines that have type one?

Sterling 27:51
No, no, but not a single person? Okay. Oh,

Scott Benner 27:55
all right. Well, then, how did you figure out you had type one?

Sterling 27:58
So I figured I had type one, because I was I mean, I always tell people, I was like, I was going blind. Oh, you're going blurry. I

Scott Benner 28:06
that will make you Yeah, after right?

Sterling 28:09
That's, that's right. That's right. I was I was going to the bathroom a lot. I unfortunately, like, you know, I've also had a very terrible friendship life growing up as well. And it was, my friend actually kicked me out of her house a week before school was about to start. And it was super rainy season. And I, we found a place finally, and I was so happy. And I was like really happy. I was losing weight. Because I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm losing weight. I don't know how maybe it's because of depression. That will do it. And I was like, I'm losing weight and all of this. And I started going to the bathroom more like I couldn't keep it on my food. And I was driving. And I was actually like, blurry eyed driving, which really scared me. Luckily, my sister was there, I believe, and she had to drive us home. But finally that night, it was kind of sucky because the cars were not working. Both her cars like had broken down for some reason, and it was pouring down rain and I had to get to the ER and I was like, what is happening? And we had to kind of push the cars to get them to go to get one of the cars to go and we finally go to the ER and of course, you know, everyone that was there was like your blood sugars are high, but we can't help you because we're closing soon. So are like the it's just the er It's the what do you not the emergency room the place you go to before

Scott Benner 29:33
that? Of like, like urgent care or something like that?

Sterling 29:37
Urgent Care? Yes. Urgent Care. So we went to urgent care and the people that were there were like your blood sugars are high. I think it was like 315 which is is not terrible.

Scott Benner 29:50
That's funny. Now you're like,

Sterling 29:51
you're like I've heard other people.

Scott Benner 29:55
Well, it's sort of you probably weren't in decay yet. Or did they say you were I

Sterling 29:59
was Ain't no I wasn't in DK. I mean, I don't think so I really started in Fallout or anything. No one's but the thing is, is when I went to er, all the people that were kind of treating me were like, you're way too skinny to be diabetic, like that was all the nurses. Yeah. So no one was actually giving me any information. They're just like, you're way too skinny to be diabetic. And even before then I like had an inkling, I didn't really know about diabetes, but I just looked at my mom, I'm really good intuitively. And I just looked at her. I said, I think I have diabetes. And she's like, What makes you think that? And I said, I don't know. Well, I don't know. I didn't look it up. But I'm like, I think I have diabetes. I don't know what that means. And then they told me I had diabetes. I'm always

Scott Benner 30:44
interested when people like make that leap. Because there's some information in your head from the past. You just don't know what it is. And you start putting things together. You don't even know why so many people play that it's a it's very interesting. So how long were you in the hospital for

Sterling 30:59
two days, I was in the hospital. And we were just kind of sitting like I was sitting there. I always say, if you can help not go into the hospital, don't go. If you can figure it out yourself, just don't go because you don't get any rest in the hospital. Like they have waking me up at all different hours. And like when you're diagnosed with diabetes, you have no idea what that means. Because especially as an adult, most people are not going to explain it to you. Yeah, and I'm sure you've heard that a lot from everyone. And it's just like, You need to eat this food and right now. And if you don't eat this food, you're gonna pass out and you're like, what does that even mean? You're like, we just gave you insulin. I'm like, but what does that mean? They're like, doesn't matter. You need to eat this food. Yeah, nobody's

Scott Benner 31:41
really. Nobody's explaining anything to you. Did you have family around you at that point? Or were you on your own at the hospital?

Sterling 31:47
So I have my mother with me, you know, with my family situation growing up, like, unfortunately, for the first four years of my diabetes, no one in my family, like, decided to learn about it. So I was all on my own. And it was really, really hard. I did have my ex as was basically my caretaker. He knows much more. My dad pretends to ignore it. He loves ignoring it. And he's never been to a single like hospital visit. My mom goes once in a while with me to do these things. But I'm mostly like, on my own with most of this stuff.

Scott Benner 32:26
What would you say your level of understanding was in the first year? Oh,

Sterling 32:31
you know, like, compared to what I've known since I've met you guys and met the people who directed me to you and your podcast? Probably like 10%. Wow. Because I went on keto, like six months after I became Insomniac because no one explained to me how to use insulin. Even no one told me that Oh, no one told me to Pre-Bolus to how many what's my ratios to sensitivity? I don't I didn't know what any of that was man. And

Scott Benner 32:59
so were you not sleeping because you were fighting with blood sugars because you were scared to sleep.

Sterling 33:05
I was really scared to sleep. So I had a low. So I took and I've heard this story once before with the person who went running and obviously a lot of adults are Ladas. But it's like I took insulin because I wasn't fearful at that point of insulin because I was like, Oh, it brings me down to a certain level. And I didn't know I was honeymooning for three and three years, you know. And I took some insulin and decided to walk up a hill in San Francisco. And all of a sudden, all the dogs in the park ran up to me, and were jumping on me. And I was like, What are you guys doing? Like what's happening? And then it hit me. I was doing my best to tell them what are some of the owners? I was like, Do you have food? Or do you have a house near here? Like I have nothing because I didn't know to hold anything around me. They didn't told me tell me that they didn't teach me any of that stuff. And like all these people thought I was crazy. And they're like, why are you guys why are you talking to me? And they weren't helping me. And then one lady was like, there's a food store down the street. I can't believe I made it to the food store. I was at 40 at that point

Scott Benner 34:05
and shopping. Did you have a basket? Or were you? Did you

Sterling 34:08
know I was sitting in a park on the top of the San Francisco Hill?

Scott Benner 34:12
She grabbed some food just yet why you really did last for a while. How long do you think that all took? Or do you not have a feeling for it? What do you mean? What would you say from when you started walking and found people to when you actually could eat? How long do you think it was?

Sterling 34:26
It was probably like it took me 15 minutes to walk up the hill. I sat down for about 10 And then all the dogs are jumping on me about that point. You know like they were they could figure it out before I did.

Scott Benner 34:42
They were diabetes service dogs in training apparently.

Sterling 34:44
That's That's right. That's right. They're all really confused. And I was like, I love you all. And that's why I'm at the dog park but I don't want you to jump on

Scott Benner 34:52
me also. None of those people at the dog park have ever seen a movie when a dog looks worried you have to be worried that wasn't something like a I don't know. Well, nobody understood. I mean, you didn't understand you had it you didn't understand. So it's hard to.

Sterling 35:06
Yeah, I mean, you know, like, I think it was that in San Francisco, there's a lot of mentally ill people, and you can look normal and be mentally ill. And it's a lot of schizophrenia. And so the way I was acting, I basically tell people now when my blood sugars are low, I'm a drunk person without the benefits. Yeah, so I usually tell people that now, but that's basically how I was acting, because all I knew to think was in my primal brain was like, I need food. Like, I need food. And so I just kept telling people, like, I need food. And I couldn't coherently explain that. And they didn't get it. And the only lady who kind of got it just pointed me in the direction of a store. And she's like, there's a store down there. So I had to walk to the store. I don't know how I did that on like a 40. Blood sugar.

Scott Benner 35:52
Yeah. You know, Sterling, I started writing a blog in like 2007. And about diabetes. And one of the things that got me to do that was a news story about a man who got off a commuter train, and passed out. And he No one knows exactly how long he was lying there. But then the morning commuters came in, and they were going past them, like he's lying, like facedown in like a stone driveway. And people are mocking him for being drunk. And it took one person who had a family member with type one to recognize the low blood sugar incident and probably save the guy's life. And I started writing a blog thinking, well, maybe I'll educate people. And one day if my daughter falls over, someone might have like, it's a weird thought. But like, someone might have read the blog and known or something like that. It was like literally one of the reasons that I started writing a blog. But that's exactly what happened to you. You look disjointed, because you're low and people can't tell the difference. And people are busy. And like you said, other people around there might give off a mentally ill vibe to begin with. So they're probably not looking to get too involved. And there you go. And just by luck, you've made it to that food. That's pretty pretty.

Sterling 37:05
I did I really don't know how. But that scared me. And I and no one still explained to me diabetes, and like, even my endo was telling me hormones don't affect your diabetes, and she was a woman.

Scott Benner 37:20
Well, she was wrong about that. Oh, yeah, she

Sterling 37:22
was I was like, This is not right. I know my body. Like, I feel like something is weird. Something's definitely off during different times in my month.

Scott Benner 37:29
Yeah, you're using more or less insulin, and you're not even you're not even doing anything purposefully. So so what I mean, obviously, all these experiences lead you out to try to find your own answer. So how do you find them for yourself? So

Sterling 37:42
I became an insomniac, and I couldn't sleep through the night and I was eating pizza, and I was eating all of this stuff. And then I have my opinion on this, and it has changed or accidentally, but I found the only people I found was the Bernstein diet people. And so I went full keto. For four years, I'm still keto. But that's that's kind of how I survived was like well to take, I need to take less insulin. So the way to take less insulin is to eat less carbs. And that's the only way I knew how to even manage my diabetes on the day to day. Yeah, and I didn't even realized my diabetes wasn't even in full swing or effect until I had reached out to you guys and had been a part of the like, been listening to the podcast. And I was like, wow, I didn't even know I wasn't even like fully diabetic until that year, until last year. And that was really hard for me to kind of have to take in. Because I thought I was like already dealing with things on hardmode. And then I was like, wow, I just got like re diagnosed mentally. And it really sent me into a spiral and depression. I think that was like throughout all the things that kind of happened through my whole life. For some reason, I always had like a glimmer of hope, even though I couldn't see there was no light and a darkness world that I lived in since from five to like 21 but for some reason diabetes got me and like, that was the first time I thought about suicide. Really. And yeah, and it just like I was like, I can't believe I can't, like do this because I didn't understand much about it. And I felt like I couldn't even go walking. I felt like I couldn't do anything, because I didn't understand it. And then I my whole world had changed. And then I started listening like, I think I didn't go outside of my home for like two weeks. I like didn't take any figure modeling jobs. I didn't take any any type of commercial jobs like and I just sat there and I was just listening for hours to your podcast with you and Jenny, because I just I realized I didn't understand anything and and it was really overwhelming, honestly, to take in all that information, but I just decided to take as much as I could because, you know my dad had raised us to ask questions why? And so I was like, I gotta ask questions why? I know well, because I realized that my doctors weren't telling me or providing me with the information I needed. Yeah,

Scott Benner 40:05
I mean, good for you because you got desperate. And you started to panic a little bit. I mean, if you're starting to think about hurting yourself, then you're you're you're running out of ideas in your head about what to do. And diving into something like that, like you said, couldn't have been easy. And you did it. So that's really like, like weight of, like, take control for yourself. That's amazing. Also, you named the episode a couple of minutes ago, named the episode you named your episode a couple of minutes ago. Oh, what is my episode name? Well, it's got to be an after dark because of the story you told about growing up. But it's going to be it's gonna be called Hard Mode. I love it. Yeah. Well, because I love that whole life seems to be in hard mode. I'm hoping we're getting you to like, easy at some point. Let's see, as we keep talking,

Sterling 40:46
I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I mean, definitely we can I mean, we can go into my art and stuff, because that's what saved me.

Scott Benner 40:53
Yeah, no, I want to hear about it. I really do. But so you, you kind of absorbed the the management episodes of the podcast, and you got an idea of what you were doing. I also want to point out that you just told a story that exactly mimics my expectation of why people would die with type one who have adopted a very low carb lifestyle, why they're so protective of it, and, and why they almost proselytize about it. Like, like that whole story, you just told like, I'm not gonna go back over it again. But being desperate, not knowing what you're doing, having scary health issues. And then recognizing if I really take in almost no carbs, I will use a very little bit of insulin, and it will minimize those other issues. Like if you don't know how to use insulin, that is the only answer you can get to. Like, as that's your story. And so I've always maintained that I think that's how it happens. Because listen, I don't honestly, I hope people understand by now I've been doing this podcast for a long time, I don't really care how people eat, I don't care how you live it all to be perfectly honest. But the thing that I'm always interested in is when somebody who's newer diagnosed is in that position you are in, they're like, I don't know what to do. And my blood sugars are spiking, and they're getting low. And then a person who has found keto or very low carb or something like that, they come in, like, you have to do it like this. Like, they talk about it. Like it is life itself. And they're so protective of the idea. And, and that's why because it saved their life. They were Yeah, right. And that's why it becomes such an important thing. And and it feels like you really need to tell other people about it. But then you but you got more information at but you stayed low carb, so you like the lifestyle, but you're better at using your insulin now.

Sterling 42:45
So I so actually, before I even found your guys's podcast, I was reaching out to the Bernstein's groups and not saying a nice things, just saying factual things. No one helps me, no one came to my rescue. Sorry. And it was really tough to kind of bear that too. Because I was like, I thought you guys wanted to help people keep low blood sugars and all this stuff. I mean, there's a lot of propaganda where if your blood sugars aren't perfectly at 80 all the time, they look down on you. And that was really tough for me for a long time. Because that was all I knew was that group and me I didn't really know any other diabetics, someone finally like a light shine. She was a nurse and she was like, check out you know, you should check out these groups. I am staying the reason why I've stayed keto. I don't really want to be keto. But I've had so much PTSD with all of this stuff, that it's just a fear based thing at this point. I do want to be a little more freer with my carbs and like what I want to eat like I want to eat pork. Who says and I do want to eat pizza again. It's just understanding what I didn't understand it's going to take maybe a few years or two kind of free to gamble is like, yeah, because right now I'm actually on so I got on looping because my PDM stopped working. So I'm looping now.

Scott Benner 44:06
That's the that's the most interesting pathway to that you're like, Oh, my PDM doesn't work. I'll just start looping. Yeah,

Sterling 44:13
actually in my neighborhood, or in my, in my city in San Jose, there is a woman who works at tide pool. She I had talked to her last year to several times and then my PDM wasn't working at 12 o'clock at night. And my pump was about to go out. And I was already stressed out about being on a pump. It was like three days into being on a POM four days in. And I was like Well, great. This is the perfect scenario. And then she contacted me and they were telling me that they couldn't even send my PDM until July 5 Because it was July 4 Oh the holiday and I was like I had to wait two days Okay, and not guaranteed. So you mean I just contacted I was like can you put me on loop because I just the PDM just like broke.

Scott Benner 44:58
Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me her First name, I'll bleep it out because I feel like I know her and that she's been on the podcast. It's but she doesn't know you guys. Okay, then that's not the person I was thinking of. Okay. All right,

Sterling 45:09
I was one I really want her to like, listen to you guys, because she doesn't actually know you guys. She relies solely on on looping. She does the Bolus with her daughter. But it's really interesting because her daughter is on the opposite spectrum. She her daughter's eating 300 carbs a day. Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:24
I know. That's, listen,

Sterling 45:26
it's nice to see,

Scott Benner 45:27
your story is like you're first of all, you're very good at telling your story. And it's terrific. And I am having. So somebody's gonna send me an email. It says that this is creepy. But I really want to tell you how I feel like it's, I know this is crazy. But I you know, I'm getting ready to talk to you. I've like your Instagrams up in front of me and like stuff like that. And you are, I don't know. You don't look the way you feel about yourself. And you don't look like you're struggling. And it's so disjointed to hear your story then look at your picture because it doesn't feel like you're talking about the person I'm looking at. I was one I was wondering if that ever felt that way to you?

Sterling 46:13
Yeah, my dad raised us so you know, most people would never guess and every time I tell them like I do probably have ASD and ADHD they would never guess it because we kind of growing up we were ingrained into being poised. Yes. To dress how you look, you know, dress how you want to be approached, you're always being interviewed. I don't care if it's a janitor, I don't care if it's someone just cleaning the street and I don't care if it's a homeless man, you're always being interviewed Sterling. So you need to act that way. So that's, that's how I am so like, it's not noticeable.

Scott Benner 46:45
But even in your speaking like, not just visually, but like you talking to like nothing. All the words don't seem to match your you don't I mean, like your your your your life is a dumpster fire. But you don't you don't come off that way while you're talking. And you don't come off that way. When I'm looking at you. I'm trying to figure out why that is. And so that's the answer you were raised to, to present yourself in a certain way. That's correct.

Sterling 47:11
And also on top of that, I've always had a vision to change the world when I got diagnosed with diabetes that solidified it and made me less fearful. So I started writing poetry. I started going up and doing stand up like an open mics and became a little famous in that world. That's when I started doing modeling, sort of going to art directing and commanding people no one would ever expect. I'm actually an introvert. They always look at me, they're like, You're not an introvert. I'm like, Yes, I am. I just learned how to talk. And so that's kind of like, the direction. And so when people read and if you ever look at my art page, I have a ton of poems, and they're extremely depressing. I don't think I write anything, even when I'm in love. I write sad. And it's always either that or contemplative, because it's me processing my emotions. And people were surprised when that first started happening. When I first start expressing myself, they were like, Please don't hurt yourself. And like, at this point, I was like, No, I'm not even, you know, I'm not thinking about that. I'm just thinking about how can I express my emotions, because I never got to when I was younger? And how can other people, you know, step in their own light and be able to do that for themselves. I've gotten several emails and several DMS and all this, like, thank you so much for writing that it was really dark, but I really appreciate your art and you're helping me start to write again, or you're helping me reevaluate my life or I didn't know you were going through this. And sometimes like people don't know, I'm what I'm going through. And, and that's really important to me to like, be able to hold people when I'm talking to them.

Scott Benner 48:45
Now, I'm, I'm enjoying talking to you a lot. And it's just very impressive. You're young, and you've been through a lot. It seems like most of it you went through by yourself at one point or another. And I don't know you just your the way you're coming off is it's almost confusing, because I'm not sure why you're doing okay. But at the same time, it's very impressive. So you you think that expressing yourself through different artistic endeavors was very valuable for you emotionally? Yeah,

Sterling 49:18
it saved me. It saved me. Like when I got diagnosed, and I was sitting there in the hospitals, I quit golf, because I thought to myself, I'm like, I can't sit in a hospital bed, not ever having cried out of joy for something. Like when I was winning and golf, and people would interview me, I'd be like, yeah, it's whatever. It's whatever. And I was like sitting there and I was thinking I'm like, my life can't just be whatever. It's you know, it can't be whatever

Scott Benner 49:43
you go and success is expected. You can't be happy about it. Because that was that was the goal.

Sterling 49:48
Yes, yes. And and I love golf, too. But when I got into art, I really found myself and you know, initially when people first I started doing art or people would call me cringy to, like, you're not gonna make it to that's silly. You know, all of these fears people like to put on, but I never really listened. Because the thing is when you grow from a dark, dark space, there's nothing worse than where you were before. So everything that happens to me now every emotion or every heartbreak or whatever situation, yes, it's hard, but it's not the hardest thing I've been through diabetes isn't the worst thing I've been through. Yeah, you know, so So I take that really seriously. And like, you know, when people were like, Oh, well, art can be a second choice. And like, no arts are first choice. And yes, I'm slowly finally starting to get into manifesting into like, getting more finances from it and other things like that. But it's a journey. I mean, when you're building a house, it's not going to take a day. Yeah, you know, you know, it's

Scott Benner 50:51
funny, because you use younger words than I would use, which makes sense. Makes sense, because you're younger than me. But I was just telling my son recently, I'm like, you can just do something and make it happen. And that probably sounds like hocus pocus to people. But I made this podcast out of sheer nothingness, and a lot of effort and a lot of time, and I hit a lot of speed bumps where I didn't know what I was doing. Or people told me it wasn't going to work the way I wanted to do it. Like all of that stuff. And I just kept focused and kept working on it. And and that's right, yeah, you do it. And then it is. And I don't know, like, I don't know a better way to say that, like, you can conjure something up out of nothing. And, and make it real. So you

Sterling 51:39
can literally do anything you wish you want to do in this world. I tell people this every day, I'm like, you can do whatever, there was a woman I think I don't remember what state she was in. But an older woman, she was like 70, she would actually get paid a ton of money to pee in jars so that people could pass their drug test.

Scott Benner 51:56
Early, that is not where I thought you were going with that. But is that what she wanted to do?

Sterling 52:03
No, but I'm just saying you can do anything that's the world has provided and you know, you can make whatever type of income you want. Some people don't want to, and that's okay. And some people don't want to get there, they just want to be doing the thing. So it's when people limit themselves because of what society has told you, you have to realize you're not the majority, you are the minority, you're you yourself. And you know, just just your being like, you're just you. And so you really have to understand, like you're very different from that next person. And that next person's life. When if you understand that you're able to do whatever you choose to do.

Scott Benner 52:40
You mean, you need some sort of support around you, right? Like, you can't just decide I'm gonna get up this morning and work very hard on something that doesn't make money because I still have to stay alive and eat and everything. Like I had support. My wife was supporting me while I was building the podcast, obviously. But

Sterling 52:56
yeah, of course. And the thing is, you know, I think support comes in more forms than a person. And more forms. Like for instance, like, for instance, my parents, my parents bought our Victorian home through a government funding, where they gave them a whole entire historical loan to build their house. And they didn't have any money, they my mom bought another home for $1, because it was in the newspaper, and they were gonna move it and they just wanted someone to live there in San Jose, this was back when San Jose was still being kind of, like downtown was still being kind of built on. And so I think it's more, it's less about like, thinking about, Oh, I need the support from this specific place at this exact moment. It's more about like, I'm very spiritual person, trusting the universe, and it is going to as long as you're doing what you need to do, whether that is doing your full time part time job to get by, but trusting that there's gonna be money coming from some other place, because money is material, just like anything in this world. And you know, a lot of wealthy people I'm sure, we'll talk about this is like, they already know they're gonna get money. So they're high risk takers, because they know that they're gonna get money, and therefore their brain isn't blocked by that financial, you know, stability need,

Scott Benner 54:16
I'm comforted by the idea that money comes in it goes, That's right, that it's transient through your life, and that, that the goal is not to make a giant pile of it. And exactly right. So, you know, because at the end, I mean, a lot of really wealthy people die and they're still dead. So

Sterling 54:34
that's right. That's right. The only thing you can't get back is time, right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 54:38
So I like to think as long as it's coming in, and it's going out it's I don't get mad when it goes out. I get upset. Like sometimes I get nervous, but like, you know, comes in I'm like, okay, great. We have some sort of a flow here, and, and put your mind on other things and you have to stay. I'll tell you that when the better the podcast does, there is always Is this, there's this kind of carrot on a stick that tries to lead me towards just relax and like, put it on autopilot. Like, like, like, just let it do what it does like you, you love making the recordings, make the recordings, you don't have to work so hard or you don't have to do and I and I always stop myself because if I if I go in that direction, I get bored very easily to begin with. And then I just find myself wandering around like I'm like, oh, like I should be working harder or thinking of a way to make the podcast better find a way to reach more people like I mean, your story's insane. Like, I mean, honestly, we're not talking about today, because it's not going in that direction. But you're in a significant mental health and physical health crisis that you're brought out of, in some part from a podcast, which is ridiculous, you don't immediately get it's actually silly. But if it works, then isn't it incumbent upon me to find other ways for it to help people. And so like I'm doing that, today, when I get off with you? I am. I've just paid for a service that will transcribe, I'm starting with the bulk beginning series, it'll transcribe the series, and then it attaches an AI bot to each transcript. And it's, it's amazingly accurate.

Sterling 56:16
So you can tell what is it doing? Is it doing like captions for you? Well, it

Scott Benner 56:20
does all that which is fine, because we can make content with it that will help people read who would prefer to read but more importantly, you can ask the bot any question about the episode and it very accurately answers it for you.

Sterling 56:32
I like that, right? I love future things. I'm here for everything.

Scott Benner 56:37
I I'm such a I'm so on board with this right upfront. Like I feel like there's a way where we could eventually have all the information from the podcast, behind the scenes transcribed and where you could just ask a little bot like, you know, in this episode, how could I learn to do this? Or what does it talk about Pre-Bolus singer or whatever, and then it could take you right to that information.

Sterling 57:00
I love god I'm so on board for for that. And I think that's going to be really helpful. I know there's a lot of people in the art world or, you know, that have issues with AI situ and stuff. But for me, I'm like, it's just another tool. Just use it as another tool. If if really someone or an AI is you're feeling like it's going to affect you and your future, then you're not really putting as much energy into yourself and understanding that you're valuable. Like really genuinely do that. Because like with that AI it's gonna help people find I know I'm on your I'm on your guys's Facebook's quite often. And everyone's always asking what episode

Scott Benner 57:41
was the? Yeah, no. And I

Sterling 57:45
always ask him like, yeah, what episode is that?

Scott Benner 57:47
I'm up the butt of the company who made the stuff? I was like, can you make the bots embeddable into social media? Like, you know, could there be a Facebook post that said, hey, ask this bot, anything you want about this episode? And it'll launch I'm I'm very, very hopeful that it's going to work. And by the way, if it doesn't work, I'll pivot. Like, I won't try. Yeah, I won't go down with the ship. If it doesn't work. I'll be like, alright, I tried that. That didn't work out the way I expected. And let's try something else now. But at least I'm not bored and sitting around and just staring. Just letting this thing run. Like I want to keep propelling it

Sterling 58:25
forward. Yeah. And that's a perfect word for anybody. You know, who, who has a sense of like, business ship or making something new is the pivot word. I love that word. Yeah. Oh, yes. It's not working. Just pivot. Why stay there? I tell reason to be there.

Scott Benner 58:43
Ya know, I tell people all the time, like, one of the reasons that the podcast is, is popular is because when I see something not working, I can just, I can redirect myself. And I don't have to go ask six people in a meeting and they all don't have to agree and you don't end up in a situation where one of them their job was the thing you're trying to get away from. So they're like, no, no, no, we should stay with this. Like, you know, like, you lose all of those problems when you're streamlined. And anyway, how are you managing your before the looping? Did you ever do pins or needles or anything like that?

Sterling 59:18
I was MDI, I had my Nova log, but I never used it because I use regular insulin. So I was using syringes. And that was after two years, so I didn't actually have to use any type of I have to use Lantis. I use like two units of Lantis for the first year. I didn't use any type of insulin for food or the first year

Scott Benner 59:41
I had you on regular and Lantus. Yeah. Oh, wow. For two years.

Sterling 59:45
No, I was on regular Atlantis. Yeah. For like, yeah, for I guess the two years after that first year. That first year was kind of, it's kind of it's kind of easy levels.

Scott Benner 59:56
You did. You had a very slow onset. Super

Sterling 1:00:00
slow onset. Yeah. And I think being keto really did slow it down quite a bit. wasn't necessarily a positive or negative. It just made me a little more confused. I was like, Why do I need to take insulin now for food? That doesn't make sense? Yeah. But I took Yeah, I took regular and took Lantis. And then I also started taking Novolog for corrections because that for our fat rise, the regular insulin doesn't actually catch. So I was taking three different types of insulin and it was not fun, right?

Scott Benner 1:00:30
But now you're just Nova log in your pump. That's

Sterling 1:00:33
right. I'm just Nova log in my pump. I've been on my pump for about a month now. Wow. I love it. I suggest people

Scott Benner 1:00:41
scrolling. We were telling the Fourth of July story that was three weeks ago. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.

Sterling 1:00:50
I had to pivot. I was like, okay, looping wasn't gonna go on loop. I was gonna figure out what the pump was. I like figuring things out. I like seeing what's going on. And if I could figure it out myself, and then go on to assisted thing. But the universe said, No, I don't think so. This is going too slow for me. So

Scott Benner 1:01:09
we're gonna do this instead? Well, that's fast. Yeah, using the G six.

Sterling 1:01:13
I've been using a G six right now. I was contemplating going on to g7. But I'm like, I don't know, people. People were like, yes. And then people are like no about it. And people are like, it's whatever. So I'm not really sure throwing

Scott Benner 1:01:27
the information. Just remember, people don't come to the internet to share how well things are going. You know, I

Sterling 1:01:33
said that all the time. That's what happened. That's why I started that's why I haven't gotten a pump until like, last two months ago, because or like a month and a half ago, because I was just reading people's dumb stories, which I shouldn't.

Scott Benner 1:01:48
What you're doing is you're recommended. People are having trouble, they get lost. They don't know what else to do. They go and kind of word vomit on the internet. And then you think oh, that's how it is artists been using g7 since it came out. It's fantastic. So okay, yeah, sure. Then I'm

Sterling 1:02:02
gonna I just wanted something simpler, too. And I don't really want to tour away even though I'm keto, like if I decide to go off of it. I just don't like the mystery. Yeah, I mean, I don't like the mystery. Obviously. g7

Scott Benner 1:02:13
works fine with looping. So it's pretty wicked. Yeah, I just did the Arden did excuse me, the whole, like, put on her new g7. But didn't turn it on, let it soak in for a couple of hours before she put it on. Like that was happening during like the window. Because there's like a buffer at the end of the old sensor. There's a lot of cool stuff about the g7. So it's worth looking into. And listen, I'm not going to tell you. Like, I don't know how it's gonna work for you. You don't I mean, like, I don't know how any of this is gonna work for anybody. But our experience has been good. So yeah,

Sterling 1:02:47
and I really appreciate hearing your stories. I'm sure everyone says that. But honestly, like, you guys take chances anyway. And I like that. And you just like, you know, pivot if something goes wrong, there's a way to get out of there, you know, out of it. And obviously g7 is not like that crazy, but it's just the mindset. That was around things that

Scott Benner 1:03:08
was interesting for me, I want to adopt. I'm sorry, that was interesting for me to hear you say because I don't think of myself as a risk taker. But I guess in this space, I, I

Sterling 1:03:19
feel like you're a calculated risk taker. I feel like you kind of see your options. And they're like, Yeah, I'll be fine. Oh, yeah. Or this is the out, you know, which I am not, I'm very impulsive. But I am not at all calculated risk. I'd be like, Oh, I have to wait like six months before I decide.

Scott Benner 1:03:39
I do not do I don't do things without thinking them through extensively, but not compulsively. I just, I make sure that I have a i My wife tells me that my brain works backwards from now. So any question you asked me, my first thought is no. And then I talked myself out of the answer with with like data, and then if I can get to a point where I'm comfortable, then I'll move forward. My kids do that too. It makes our air makes Kelly crazy. Because Because she you know if you said let's go on vacation, I go no, we can't do that. Then Then like five minutes later, I'd be like, well, we probably could and then the I could get the time off and can we afford it? And then like and I work so I work backwards from no is what she says she would prefer five work forward from Yes. But I think that's how we end up with boxes that I don't know what they're for. And then I can't find them five days later. And it seems like we're buying stuff we don't need. That's That's me.

Sterling 1:04:33
I'm very I'm like I'm an INFP I don't know if you know the personality traits, but I'm like very whimsical. So I'm always let me tell you my dream. And we can go from there.

Scott Benner 1:04:43
I have all those thoughts. I just thought myself right at the end. I'm like, No, not yet. Not until I figured out how this is gonna work. I've had that feeling for years. Like since I was a kid. Like I wanted to do something big, but I didn't want to waste my time is how I thought of it. There's that if that makes sense. And I watched my son make a decision like that coming out of college too. And I was like, Oh, wow, he did the same thing. He was very willing to put a ton of effort into something but the minute he couldn't see the path to the end of it, he was like, I'm not doing this anymore. And, and he made any pivoted and made a good decision. So anyway, so yeah, what have we not talked about that we should have?

Sterling 1:05:21
I mean, I can quickly go over my art. I don't know if you saw my page, but I can

Scott Benner 1:05:28
quickly go over sterling. Hold on a second. I don't you get I like you. We're fine. We're doing good. Okay, okay. You fill time very nicely. I don't have to I know I'm not pressured to speak here. So alright, so where am I going to find this that so

Sterling 1:05:42
Sondra dot people is my artists page for on Instagram. I have it here on Instagram. Okay, that's right. So

Scott Benner 1:05:50
the this is, is this You photographing yourself? Or what am I seeing here? So

Sterling 1:05:56
when I first got started, I was actually I was having. So when I first got started, I'm actually going backwards. I used to have so I have a team, I have a makeup artist, I have a hairstylist, I have an assistant. And I had me when I first got started, I was just taking photos of me it was COVID, too. And that was kind of the reason why and I was having random photographers take photos of me. And then all of a sudden, these photographers I was spending around $500. On a shoot, I use a lot of flowers. I have a lot of florists that I work with. And I put around like 20 hours a time into each production. And so photographers when I first started doing my art stuff, they were kind of saying, yeah, so all of this art is my art. It's all mine. And you should be grateful that I'm taking photos of you. And then I was like, Okay, let's not do that. And then I went into and you can see a little below, there's like other people, these are all my photos. So these are the ones I actually point and click the camera, I come up with the art direction all of that I take it's about 30 minutes per photo to edit. So I use Photoshop and Lightroom. Presently now I'm going back to just being myself in it and maybe collecting like three other models and just really working on a really short, small team. And luckily now I do have photographer now who's a part of my team who's like, no Sterling, this is your art. I'm pointing clicking the camera today, I'm only here for two hours. And you've been going through all of this iteration for the last two weeks. And so I kind of like got into going more into like, what I look like in my world and in my point of view,

Scott Benner 1:07:42
so you kind of act and you're acting as an art director, sometimes you're using the camera, other times you're bringing in a person to operate the camera and to take a picture of your vision. Is that about right? Yeah,

Sterling 1:07:53
that's right. Yeah. So I come up with all this. Like I come up with a set designs, I come up with all the like I have over you don't I don't think you use Pinterest. But anybody who listens to this, I've have like 11,000 pins, which is a lot. Sounds

Scott Benner 1:08:08
like you've been busy. We're not busy.

Sterling 1:08:13
I've have like over like 100 different types of art directing boards to like 200 Maybe are directing boards. A lot of them have not even been used yet. But it's like my specialty. I learned how to sew even. I'm making this gigantic kimono right now. Because I'm pivoting to being more like just more artsy, I guess, like you're talking about how to make money and all that stuff. And I was kind of going down that right? Like, how do I make money, I started doing prints. I was performing poetry. And I was like, Yes, I can make money here and there with that, but it wasn't making me happy. And so right now I'm just focused on like, just creating, which is funny because like a lot of brands, even the brand I work for the laundry company gives me a ton of free stuff now, because I'm just being free about it more so. No one's deterred by my poetry so far. I'm surprised. Well, it's

Scott Benner 1:09:02
wonderful. Like you're you're really obviously very talented in a number of different ways. i You just said you were sewing Arden is has taken over our our, like our house. She's home from college right now and she's in a fashion design major at school. And she's like, I'm gonna make a dress this week. I'm like, okay, so she's like, I'm gonna need fabric and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Okay, so I'm like, out of the store with her. We're buying fabric together. And she's like, I'm gonna, this is the dress I'm gonna make but here's what I'm gonna do with the design. And she's like, I'm gonna put this swoop through it. And it's gonna feel like a Coke can. And I'm like, what she goes, Don't worry. It's not explaining it right. So then she sits down and sketches it all out. And I was like, Oh, wow, that's wonderful. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, what is that around the collar? And she goes, I think I'm gonna put like, soda can tabs there. I was like, okay, and meanwhile, aren't just even drink soda. They don't even know where it came from. She just saw something about that and said I'm gonna change this and make it kind of modern but make it pretty at the same time. I was like, oh, okay, I was like, Alright, go ahead, do it. And yeah,

Sterling 1:10:08
we'll definitely start noticing when she gets into it. Um, the amount of fabrics that we buy is a lot. Ya know, I know she's something that's a patience game, because it's like, why do you need this? And you're like, No, no, I just need this. Like, I just need this this thing. That's

Scott Benner 1:10:23
exactly what she's like. She's like, I'm just gonna get a couple of yards this because I like it. I think there'll be a place for it later.

Sterling 1:10:28
Yes, yeah. And it will not stop. I promise.

Scott Benner 1:10:31
I'll tell you the one thing that I don't this is not a job. But to watch art and go to a thrift store and put outfits together is fascinating. Like she just drifts through that place. Like it's like, like she's meant to do it, and grabs these things that no person would think, like, no reasonable person would go, these two things will end up in an outfit together. And she puts stuff together. And when she's done, you go, Oh, my God. That's, that's crazy. She's she's one of those people, she tells me that when she's at school, and somebody stops her every day, to tell them, I love your outfit. I love what you did with this. I love it. She's just like, I don't know, aesthetically, she's got like a great eye. So we're just trying to support that, like and with, without, you know, without saying it needs to lead to something. And that's one of the things that I've been, I'll tell you as a parent, I'm proud of that. We at least got ourselves into a position where we didn't have to say to our kids, alright, you're 18. Like, go do a thing. And it better make money. Because this is it. You know what I mean? Like, pick one thing be 100%. We're like, you know, we told our son when he went to college, we're like, just do whatever it is you're most naturally inclined towards. And then you can figure out how to make a living with it later. And with Arden when Arden said her two inclinations led her in one of two directions. She said, I think I could either be a very good lawyer, or I want to design clothing. But when she started talking about clothing design, in high school, she was not an artistic person, I would not have thought of it that way. She didn't spend much time drawing or sketching or anything like that. So in her first semester in school, she just sat at a desk and taught herself to draw. Like it was really, I wasn't very impressed by I don't I've told her but I don't know that she knows how impressive it is like she sat down and gave herself a skill she did not have previously. It was really something. So anyway, I love that you're doing all this terrific.

Sterling 1:12:36
Yeah, well, is she getting some manifesting power, if you want to hear I am right now real quickly, and how crazy my life has been. So basically, last year, I was really hurting financially. And I was figuring things out. I found figure modeling, which figure modeling is for most people don't know, I'm nude or portrait in front of artists, and they're studying anatomy, or they're doing oil paintings or whatnot. So I got into this, and people were like, that's like, that's the weirdest thing to get into. And what ended up happening was, is that I became, I just was like, you know, it's whatever. And I became like, I was like, I'm just going to be the best at it. Every time I go into something, I'm like, I'm going to be the best at it. You know? And all of a sudden, I just kept getting word of mouth. They're like, how do you keep getting these jobs? And I'm like, people just DM me. At this point. People just DM me. And they're like, I need you here. Can you come here this day? And I'm like, Yeah, I can be there. I can be here. And so I've been doing that for a year. And everyone was like, How long have you been doing this? And it was like about six months in like six months. And we're like, we're you're literally the best model we've ever had. Oh, cool. I'm like, Thank you. Thank you for

Scott Benner 1:13:47
you. And it's supporting, supporting your other stuff that you're doing. That's right. Yeah. So

Sterling 1:13:52
and I was like, thank you. And so that was about a year and a half ago now. And so finger modeling does take a toll on the body, you have to sit there in silence. And you'd have to put yourself in positions for a long time. Like I hurt my foot. This was kind of I'm kind of dwindling out of that because I actually am working for a laundry company. I want I walked in. So what happened was is like I was doing my finger modeling, but I wanted to get started doing art direct, and I'm like, I want to do art directing. I want to make art. And so I started following a lot of lingerie brands. And I went into I was like, Oh, this lingerie brand is in San Francisco. And so I went into the store and I was like talking to the lady and I was like I'm an art director. Like I'll do stuff for free for you. She's like, No, no, no, no, I don't want you to do anything for free for me, but I also don't need to art direct. I just want a model for me. And so I got into this whirlwind with this woman who, who is who was like one of the top 20 executives at Levi's Well, she she decided to quit she had a dream of building a luxury company and for her retirement. And so I like got into this world with this with this lady and I started doing commercial modeling for her. And then she's just like Sterling, I just love you so much like, we're gonna still do the modeling. But I want you to work for me. And basically, I'm getting $800 for 1515 hours of work each week. And its salary base. So if I can't do a day or anything, I still get paid. And she's letting me use her apartment, she gives me bags of clothes. And she's like, very into my poetry very into my art and wants to support me. So anybody who's like going towards anything, if anything is possible.

Scott Benner 1:15:42
And it comes in the craziest form, I was gonna say, you never know where it's going to work out.

Sterling 1:15:46
You never know where exactly, and it's really helping me because so taking away from figure modeling, now I can start focusing on sewing and making clothing and doing more production stuff and having more money to like, be able to support myself more independently, and you know, have all the benefits of things and still having a ton of time leftover to do what I want to Yeah, wow.

Scott Benner 1:16:10
It's great. Yeah,

Sterling 1:16:11
so that's where I'm at right now. I'm on an upward spiral. I'm on an upward bend from all the stuff before, but it's just about believing in yourself and really trusting that as you continue to work, just continue to work each day and like, you're gonna get somewhere. So with, even with art, and like, it's so cool to see that she's just drawing things on her own. She's like, I'm gonna do this. And you're like, I don't get that. But okay. It turns out to be interesting. My dad does kind of similar now. He's like, I don't see where you're coming from? Why do you need to use my bathroom? Again? I'm like, no, no, like, see, just just believe. And he's like, I really don't, but okay. And then he sees it. He's like, Oh, my gosh, these are all the ideas I can give to you and everything. And so just pursuing forward is amazing. And you providing art in that space to move forward? And I hope other people do. You just have to really trust its theory, because it's like, oh, my gosh, I really want to control whether it's our lives or somebody else's. But it's like, sometimes you just gotta trust the vibe. And as long as they're, they're moving forward in some form and direction, like, it's gonna work out in whatever way they choose to. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:17:15
it's very, it's very important not to have a preconceived notion of what things are supposed to be. That's right. It's kind of how I feel about it.

Sterling 1:17:22
That's right. And it's so much more fun that way to

Scott Benner 1:17:25
Sterling. Well, I've, I've made a small adjustment to my note about the title. Now I'm thinking after dark, Hard Mode made it because I like hard. I think maybe you came up hard. And I think it's turning you into who you are. So very, very impressive. And I really enjoyed the conversation. I appreciate you doing this with me.

Sterling 1:17:52
Thank you so much for talking with me. I really enjoy talking as much as an introvert I am.

Scott Benner 1:17:57
Listen, you were terrific. I have you never done this before.

Sterling 1:18:01
No, but I did go to school for multimedia technologies. So I had to do quite a few like interviews for school or else I'd fail.

Scott Benner 1:18:08
You're absolutely terrific at this. Tell people one more time your Instagram handle. So

Sterling 1:18:13
my Instagram is sonder dot people. It's so n d e r dot p o p l e and my name is Sterling Hawkins. And thank you for talking with me. Oh, thank

Scott Benner 1:18:27
you so much. I really appreciate you sharing all this with me. Can you hold on one sec? Yeah,

Sterling 1:18:30
yes again.

Scott Benner 1:18:36
I want to thank the ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Learn more about its implantable sensor, smart transmitter and terrific mobile application at ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Get the only implantable sensor for long term wear. Get ever since a huge thanks to a longtime sponsor touched by type one please check them out on Facebook, Instagram, and at touched by type one.org. If you're looking to support an organization that supporting people with type one diabetes, check out touched by type one. A huge thanks to Omni pod, not just my longest sponsor, but my first one Omni pod.com/juice box if you love the podcast, and you love tubeless insulin pumps, this link is for you. Omni pod.com/juice box if you're living with type one diabetes, the afterdark collection from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction, and so much more. Go to juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark. There you'll see a full list of all the after dark episodes. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation but Please give the private Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast. A healthy once over Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes. The group now has 47,000 members in it, it gets 150 new members a day, it is completely free. And at the very least you can watch other people talk about diabetes, and everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones, everyone is welcome. Go up into the feature tab of the private Facebook group. And there you'll see lists upon lists of all of the management series that are available to you for free in the Juicebox Podcast, becoming a member of that group. I really think it will help you it will at least give you community you'll be able to kind of lurk around see what people are talking about. Pick up some tips and tricks. Maybe you can ask a question or offer some help Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

#1153 Dia-Dyad

Riva has lupus and one of her children has type 1 diabetes. Her husband Adam joins us.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1153 of the Juicebox Podcast.

I'm speaking today with a married couple Raya and Adam, they have three children. One of them has type one diabetes rival also has lupus, and possibly a thyroid issue. Her mother had hypothyroidism, their child was diagnosed very early, so we're going to be talking about everything from breastfeeding to what they're doing now. Please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you'd like to help with type one diabetes research and you're a US resident, please listen up. The T one D exchange is looking for you. That's caregivers of type ones, as well as type ones themselves. All they want you to do is take a short 10 minute survey. And that's it you'll be helping with type one diabetes research, T one D exchange.org/juice. Box head over there. Now you'll be done before you know it. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by ever since the ever since CGM is more convenient requiring only one sensor every six months. It offers more flexibility with its easy on Easy Off smart transmitter and allows you to take a break when needed ever since cgm.com/juicebox. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one touched by type one.org. And find them on Facebook and Instagram touched by type one is an organization dedicated to helping people living with type one diabetes. And they have so many different programs that are doing just that. Check them out at touched by type one.org.

Riva 2:15
My name is Raya. I am a full time mother to three kids under the age of nine. The oldest is neurodivergent. Our middle is starting kindergarten. And our baby is two and he is our type one.

Scott Benner 2:36
So you're tired. It's a lot. Yeah, no kidding. Give me your oldest stage eight, eight. Kindergartens, what five.

Riva 2:47
She's nearly six. Happy birthday. And two.

Scott Benner 2:51
Okay, who else is here with us?

Adam 2:54
And I'm Adam, I'm Ravis husband, I'm the dad to all these three kids, and also lacking in sleep. I have a background in biomedical engineering. So I've really gone deep on a lot of details on the biology and the math. So that's kind of my role in this.

Scott Benner 3:19
How are we going to refer to your kids just we're keeping their names out of it, or

Riva 3:23
I'm really torn.

Scott Benner 3:27
Well, for now, why don't we just say, type one, kindergarten and neurodivergent how's that sound? Sure. All right. Well, and if you get more comfortable, we can do whatever you want. So private fair to say this is all Adams fault, right? Like you weren't after him. He came towards you does blame it on me.

Riva 3:48
Thank you. Thank you.

Scott Benner 3:49
Every time I look at my wife, and she's uncomfortable, I think Oh, I did that to her.

Riva 3:55
Thank you know how things work.

Scott Benner 3:57
I saw her she looked attractive. I started talking to her and now look what happened. Oh my gosh. All right. The either of you have any autoimmune issues. And you know what I've decided when I asked questions in there for both of you, let's just go to reiver first, so you don't have to wonder who's going to talk? Perfect.

Riva 4:17
I have, I think a non diagnosis. I have had a couple of doctors float. The idea of something called incomplete lupus.

Scott Benner 4:35
What do they say that is?

Riva 4:36
It's lupus that can't be diagnosed with a blood test. But the symptoms match.

Scott Benner 4:45
What are your symptoms? I haven't

Riva 4:47
had a flare and a little while. So hair loss, frequent UTIs frequent upper right respiratory, very tired, anemic, itchy, like rashes. And it seemed to coincide with postpartum twice.

Scott Benner 5:12
Okay. How long did you have postpartum for?

Riva 5:15
And I'm actually saying postpartum not visa vie depression

Scott Benner 5:23
just the time after birth. Correct. Okay. Okay, so then it lasted for forever when did this come up in your life? How long have you been dealing with this?

Riva 5:37
Um, I guess I started first feeling like something was amiss about a year after our first was born

Scott Benner 5:50
about seven years ago and you don't have any other autoimmune stuff, celiac thyroid?

Riva 5:58
Again, thyroid has never been able to be confirmed. That blood that's been floated to me. Yeah,

Scott Benner 6:08
right. But let me let me jump in here for a second. So a lot of your symptoms are thyroid, like not that things don't overlap ever. But what do you mean, it's not comfortable? What's your TSH been when they've tested it?

Riva 6:19
It's been normal every time every year of my life.

Scott Benner 6:23
What's the number? I don't know the number offhand. So figure out the number because TSH is an is an interesting one. The range I think is, I don't know, four to 10. They'll call normal. But any good doctor will medicate TSH over two with thyroid symptoms. So you could have a TSH of five which would be crippling your hair would fall out. You'd be tired, you wouldn't be able to get rested. You might have skin irritations, all this stuff, and literally like Synthroid and like two weeks from now you'll feel better. And the reason I bring it up, not just because I've heard it from so many people, but because this exact thing happened to my wife. She had Arden her thyroid went bonkers. We took her to an endocrinologist. They heard all of her symptoms, tested her blood, came back and said, Well, it's not your thyroid. That lab is normal. But that was exactly the problem. So, Adam, you're good with bio or if you're good with computers, pull up somebody's blood tests while we're talking and we'll take a look. But if not, Robin No kidding. Get off the phone. Call the doctor. Find out what your last TSH was if it's over like two 2.1 Tell them you want to be medicated for your thyroid. I bet you feel better in a week. My

Riva 7:45
mom has thyroid. You're gonna start screaming at me.

Scott Benner 7:48
I mean, not screaming because we're you know, we're not married, so I'm not angry at you. It's so ruining my life. But do you think non married people are listening going? What are they talking about? Just fine people. Yeah. Okay. Where do you try right? So, what does your mom have?

Riva 8:09
Like? I don't know if she has hypo or hyper. I don't. She's on Synthroid. She's

Scott Benner 8:14
Oh, she's so she's got hypothyroidism. Did they ever call it Hashimotos this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox. The ever since CGM is the only long term CGM with six months of real time glucose readings giving you more convenience, confidence and flexibility. And you didn't hear me wrong. I didn't say 14 days. I said six months. So if you're tired of changing your CGM sensor every week, you're tired of it falling off or the adhesive not lasting as long as it showed or the sensor failing before the time is up. If you're tired of all that, you really owe it to yourself to try the ever since CGM. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox, I'm here to tell you that if the hassle of changing your sensors multiple times a month is just more than you want to deal with. If you're tired of things falling off and not sticking or sticking too much or having to carry around a whole bunch of extra supplies in case something does fall off. Then taking a few minutes to check out ever since cgm.com/juice box might be the right thing for you. When you use my link. You're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful. Ever since cgm.com/juice. Box

Riva 9:45
No. And there was a great just like a breastfeeding gynecologist at Chapel Hill. Oh, okay. said Oh it says Hashimotos

Scott Benner 9:59
well It makes. I

Riva 10:01
was really excited about that. But it came back and she said, you're fine.

Scott Benner 10:07
Yeah. So breastfeeding gynecologist is going to be the name of my first sitcom that I write. I just decided everyone would tune in at least once. They'd be like, what's this about? Yeah, it was the way you said it a crack me up. But, but yeah, just get the number, or have it or have it retested or whatever I'm, Listen, I'm not a doctor, I'm an idiot. But I've talked to enough people. And I've seen it enough in my own family. Like, for instance, when my son got Hashimotos, he got his only symptom. Besides looking back, he was probably a little like, course, like his his, his temper was kind of like off like his personality. And but his hair was falling out, no one noticed because he had long hair. And he didn't notice because he thought that was just the thing that happened. He had low iron, at one point that we had to pump back up, which by the way, has never happened to him again. And rash was his big one. So if his body heated up, he would say that his skin felt itchy. Like, you know, the first couple days of summer, when you go outside, and your body's not used to the heat in the sun, and you get that flush feeling for a second. Like that would come over him. And then he'd break out in hives, waist to neck, and they would itch incredibly. And the only way he could make it stop was to like, go out like it was November when it happened. Luckily, he'd have to walk outside without his shirt on until his body, his core temperature came down, and then it would just go away. So I don't know. I don't want to get stuck on this. But let's just say if this is it, I'd like a Christmas card. That's all. But I'm not giving. I'm not giving you my address it just emailed to me. What else? Anything else? Oh, we got your mom with thyroid. Anybody else in the family? I

Riva 12:07
mean, Adam will chime in that his mom had ever thyroid removed. But there's nothing else. Like you know, we got the insert, type one in your family. There's one person. I think again, Adam can chime in, but his grandfather had what everyone believes is type two. We have been told by you know, few people floated the ideas, a great person at trial net actually. She said, You know, we didn't know. Back then. If maybe someone had type one and died before. You know, that was really discovered and may have been called Type Two diabetes

Scott Benner 12:50
still. Yeah, Adam, I like it when she tells me what you're going to say. And then says it. This is my favorite part so far. It's good for

Riva 12:58
him. Yeah, I'm

Adam 13:00
used to it. I just nod.

Scott Benner 13:03
Adams got a great story that I'll tell you now about his grandfather. Nothing bad. Nothing bad is gonna happen to say anything. You've done enough. Okay. Couldn't go after a different girl leave her alone. So the pandemic things were limited. How long have you guys been together?

Riva 13:28
almost 25 years? Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 13:29
You've been married for 25 years? Um, no, we

Riva 13:33
got married about I think 11 There's not an about there's an exact number but we don't need to 13

Adam 13:40
Oh,

Scott Benner 13:42
my God. Remember when I said my favorite thing was gonna be when rival told your stories. Now it's when she doesn't know how long you've been married. Or have you cloudy? You have like brain fog. Definitely, all the time.

Riva 13:54
I'm so tired. Like, Sawyer didn't era just set his name, but he didn't sleep like a normal baby. You know, he's getting diabetes. And now he has diabetes. So you know, I haven't been rested. For I don't know, three or four years. Three. On

Scott Benner 14:15
Saturday when you make Adam get up really early and let you sleep. And you sleep. And you sleep like 12 hours straight because you do right?

Riva 14:22
That's an eight on my on my mornings off. You

Scott Benner 14:26
wake up and feel rested? I feel better than I normally do. Okay? But rested like that. You even remember that feeling? Even

Riva 14:36
if I was physically rested? You know, there's a new mental load that has changed how I feel. Adam, do

Scott Benner 14:46
you notice it? Like I used to? I'll read you a little bit and you can tell me if you're on board. I stopped recognizing my wife's personality when she had a problem with her thyroid that nobody was dealing with. Not that Your spotlight couldn't just be lupus, but I she was just different. And no matter how many times I tried to explain it to her, she, she didn't know what I was talking about, like she just thought, you know, this is how I am. But she wasn't like, I remember her starting to take Synthroid and thinking like, wow, watch her personality came back and, and her temperament, all different kinds of things. But I was wondering if you've noticed anything like

Adam 15:23
that? I mean, it's it's been hard to disambiguate what's been the newly diagnosed type one diabetes load, and any kind of effect a thyroid disorder might have. Yeah. So I think we yeah, we both changed a lot since the diagnosis. Have I noticed the change? Yes, but not an unexpected one. And I'm sure I've changed too.

Scott Benner 15:53
So for everybody listening, not just due to, I would warn against the narrative. The Yeah, but this happened. So this is expected because this happened, like, at some point, you should try to start expecting better than that. And because I don't know if that makes sense or not, I don't know if I'm being does

Adam 16:16
we get started to experience it.

Scott Benner 16:20
Also, by the way, congratulations on being the first person to say disambiguate on the podcast ever. Wait, it was amazing. Alright, so we got your backgrounds, telling me a little bit about your son's diagnosis. What did you notice first?

Riva 16:39
I just explained this to diabetes startup yesterday, so it's fresh. So your was it seems like a very typical newborn. And we brag to everyone that he was our easiest, baby. But he was a newborn. So you go into that nadir. When we came out of the three to six month kind of newborn period. We expected things to naturally sort of start to get better, easier. And they didn't. They started to get worse. Sawyer stopped sleeping. He did not transition to solid food over time, from probably six months to a year started to cry. All the time. Change temperament, went from happy to needy sleep continued to deteriorate. We started to take them to pediatrician more for your checks. No, they would check to see oh, is he teething? All the usual things they may check for? Yeah. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. Around 12 months, his weight started to drop. And the pediatrician said, Ah, you're still breastfeeding. You know, you got to get some nutrient dense foods into him. Maybe breastfeed a little less. Had I breastfed him less. He wouldn't have been getting any nutrients.

Scott Benner 18:19
Because he wasn't gonna eat anything else.

Riva 18:23
He would try to eat sometimes not much interest in food. And we love food. We're like, our kids love food. And we were not novice parents. Yeah, right. And Adam kept saying, I don't think he eats food. When he would eat vomiting. We found out he had food allergies, milk, soy, egg, sesame, and they continue to mount foods that he would try. He would vomit or get hives.

Scott Benner 19:05
Do you have any food allergies or either? I do have shellfish. Is it hard for you to talk about him? Like he's a problem? Does it make you like while you were describing it? It seemed difficult for you. I was wondering why

Riva 19:22
because I'm we're both still so let down by the people who were supposed to be helping us keep a baby safe. We still feel really frustrated by the lack of big checks at these equipments. Urgent Care saw him when when he went to the ER for breathing problems. So many people had eyes on him. Nobody poked his finger

Scott Benner 19:57
and that went on for like six months.

Riva 20:00
Yeah, yeah. Probably about from age, one ish. Or maybe just before one. It's around Christmas time. And he was diagnosed the following summer. So six to eight months,

Scott Benner 20:15
when he was diagnosed, what was his blood sugar? And what did they say they thought is a once he was 472.

Riva 20:21
And Adam might remember, in the high eights,

Adam 20:28
it was eat something I can't recall exactly

Scott Benner 20:32
how close to comedy think he was. I think Lowe's,

Adam 20:37
he, I had picked him up a few times in the night. And he when he was crying, or whimpering and he was live. And this was a symptom we described to a doctor and I, we thought it was TV. I think at the time, it was probably low blood sugar. Yeah. And we thought maybe, okay, he's teeth pain. And so we would give them you know, ibuprofen, which is kind of like, full of sugar, the kids version anyway. So I don't know if that got us out of any kind of, you know, traumatic medical emergency medical experiences. But that was part of the symptoms we described. And I think probably very close. Yeah.

Scott Benner 21:29
But it See, isn't that interesting? It's another example of, like, lolling yourself into acceptance. Like, I mean, honestly, if, if it hadn't happened so slowly, right? Because that's what gets you if it hadn't happened. So slowly, if you would have randomly walked into his bedroom one night picked him up, and he was limp, you would have just gone right to the ER. Right? Yeah. But because it happens. So slowly, we start to accept it. It's the wrong word. But you know, it becomes normal. And then it's the same brain function that lets us gain weight slowly. You know, I mean, it's the same thing or make bad decisions slowly. We just, we get a little used to we cross that line, and then we wait. And then we cross it again, you just keep doing that, before you know it, you can't see that we're the first line was anymore. And you feel like you're in a place you belong. And and then that frustration? Have you talked to anybody about that? Right? But like, it's been a while, it's been a little while now. Like, I don't want you to feel mad forever about this. Because this, this happens a lot. I know it sucks. But you're actually one of the lucky ones. Because you figured it out.

Riva 22:40
I mean, I will say I'm one of the more hyper vigilant humans you might ever meet. And I don't get lulled very much. But it took us we were trying to put pieces together. You know, and I also am very intuitive, and are my gut and even Adam Scott doesn't have any intuition. We kept saying to each other, you know, in passing, something's off. And things not adding up. And we're intelligent people were educated, we have great social networks. So it's not to say that we were not trying to put a puzzle together.

Scott Benner 23:29
No, no, I don't, I don't think you weren't. I just mean that. It's the you stop seeing things. I don't know, it feels like you can stop seeing things for what they are because they so slowly creep up on you. It's the um, what is the frog in the pot thing, right, you can throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, no, jump right out. But if you put it in a pot of cold water and warm it up slowly, it'll sit there and happily die like that, that. I'm just always not that that was happening to you, but it happens to people. And so I just I bring it up in these conversations. So that, you know, people might stop for a second step back except, you know, look at their lives and go, Oh, we are nowhere near where where I thought we were. But the thing you're talking about? Listen, I have that to constantly thinking about things. What is that what's happening? It's not a fun way to live. But when you have auto immune stuff in your life that's kind of unnecessary. And even that like, intersecting each other in the house or during the day and going Did you notice that this happened? What did you think of that? And then having like a four minute conversation, then continuing to move on? I've, I've lived through that moment, a few 1000 times. So I definitely know what you're talking about. I just mean, You sound angry that nobody gave him a finger stick. And I understand why and it's reasonable, but at some point, I mean, but I took garden to the doctor for weeks about things and they were like, Oh, it's this it's that it's the Hand Foot and Mouth is came back. That never happens. Like the doctor who's a friend of mine actually said, that never happens. That's weird. And then we just kept moving. I called him again, I was like, hey, you know, Arden just had a bowel movement. And I was able to with my fingers, crush it into dust. Oh, she's just dehydrated. Try this. But I mean, think of that explanation, like there were like pebbles, that if I squeezed both sides of the diaper just exploded into dust. Does that sound like just dehydration to you? Right. And so these things happen on and on and on. But in the end, no one's looking for this. And I've seen a number of years ago now. One organization was it beyond type one, one organization got it in their head that they were going to contact every pediatricians office in the country and give them literature about this. And they tried, and they got volunteers and it fell apart eventually, you would think it's such a simple thing. But it's credibly difficult to do, you know, to make the do that advocacy. So this is a great way to bring out that story. And hopefully people will share it and not go through what you went through. Because your son, you know, really could have had a very poor end, if somebody didn't figure it out. But they did. So now you're breastfeeding, a kid a baby with diabetes a year and a half old with diabetes. Is that right?

Riva 26:28
Yeah, he's two now. And I weaned him. I think in May.

Scott Benner 26:35
Okay, about four months. Yeah, yeah. So how long did you do breastfeeding with type one, four.

Riva 26:40
So he was diagnosed a couple days shy of 15 months. And he was March April. Like 26 months? I think when I read him.

Scott Benner 26:51
I was that was it hard to Bolus for? Was he? Amy, do

Riva 26:57
you need to chime in? Yeah, this this was pre agreed to?

Scott Benner 27:03
Adam, you're allowed to speak about this. And even though you have no intuition, I think you will be a reasonable person to talk on this subject.

Adam 27:11
Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence by both of you.

Riva 27:16
So

Adam 27:18
before diagnosis, or was feeding on demand. And that was the first thing we had to get our heads around to not do that anymore. So that was a tough transition, especially because, as Rob mentioned, he wasn't eating food yet. But once he started having insulin, he started eating everything. So that was a easier transition than we thought it might be. We talked a lot about transitioning him off of breastfeeding very quickly. But we decided that it would probably be really hard for him and Arriva to do that right away, especially after he's gone through this really traumatic week long hospital visit. So that was kind of the decision point to keep doing it. We revisited and since made around a lot. But Pre-Bolus thing became very key to maintaining any kind of breastfeeding regime. And so we were really glad we found the juicebox community and then that helped us with a lot of it.

Scott Benner 28:48
So the breastfeeding without a Pre-Bolus was shooting blood sugar to where

Adam 28:55
400 How quickly pretty quickly. The ask as I described arrive as we were trying to take an unknown are containing liquid or no quantity of it. And then unknown amount of carbs in the quantity. That's what we started with.

Scott Benner 29:21
We don't know what's in here. And exactly and did you always feel comfortable that he latched and and drank?

Adam 29:29
Oh yeah, he was he was a good you know, breastfeed her by that good little nursling he will always latched and Robin he were quite a you know dyad so the

Scott Benner 29:45
way we got around it. I gotta tell you, you're gonna use dyad on this podcast, you're gonna have to define it or you're gonna have trouble people are gonna be like a team.

Adam 29:57
A team just means two people on the team.

Riva 29:59
Do I just you know,

Scott Benner 30:03
I got people out there listening out go on there a dyad What the Hold on a second, they're Googling like crazy. So, so that So okay, so you, you know he's going to eat well. What's is it still difficult to make that decision the first time like we're gonna give insulin before food?

Adam 30:23
Well, we started looking at what the hospital was telling us to do. And it just wasn't adding up. For me logic wise. It's like, wait a second, you want us to wait until after he eats till his blood sugar's rocketing up, and then give insulin just didn't make any sense to me. So we started, you know, when we were like laying claim to inventing Pre-Bolus or anything, but we started getting the idea that, well, this isn't really a great idea. Bolus after eating. And then as we became more familiar with the juicebox community was like, Oh, this is kind of what, what, what makes more sense. It's like, give him some insulin before and if he happens, do more after isn't always taught them up, right? What

Scott Benner 31:22
allows you to hear what the doctor told you see what's actually happening and make the leap because I find that's where people get stuck. They see it may make sense to them. But they can't go against what they've been told.

Adam 31:40
Yes, on my end, it's delving deep into the biology of being really, really often and in that. And I guess at some point, you just got to believe that you know what you're doing. And that, while an endocrinologist knows how to manage all this, they're not in the weeds, like you're in the weeds. And you have to make decisions on the ground that they're never faced with.

Scott Benner 32:13
And private. How and how in the world. Did you allow this dollar to make this decision? Like, what did you What did you what? But But were you guys on board? Did you have a conversation about it?

Riva 32:26
I discovered juicebox when Sawyer was sleeping on me, in the NICU, the first night. I read a thread where like someone was asking for advice for their newly diagnosed baby or toddler. And everyone rushed in and said, Don't leave the hospital without a CGM. And listen to juice box. That's great. So when the I started seeing people the next morning coming into his room, and I said, I want a Dexcom today,

Scott Benner 33:01
how'd that go?

Riva 33:05
I think they thought it was really interesting that the sleep deprived person in a traumatic situation with a little baby was demanding to still breastfeed and to have a CGM. I was really empowered by reading juicebox all night. I'm glad. That's

Scott Benner 33:28
really I don't know, makes me feel. I don't I don't know how to explain it to you. We don't have a therapist here to explain to you how I feel. But thank you. You made me feel nice. I'm happy you found it. How did you find it?

Riva 33:39
I just Googled, really. And somehow, I'm not even on Facebook. But I got an account that night. Somebody said do this. Read this person? Yeah. And I know probably, I could guess I have theory of mind about how maybe that makes you feel. But it's the truth. You changed our lives. I'm

Scott Benner 34:03
glad. I'm glad I'm glad it's going better. And that you honestly that you started so soon. That's the part that makes me the happiest, because I've just heard. And I've just heard too many stories about people who get on the wrong path and takes you know, you get lulled into believing that's the right path. And then it takes years and and sometimes medical issues for people to wonder out loud. You know, maybe I should be looking at something else.

Adam 34:29
That's terrific. Good for you.

Scott Benner 34:31
You actually got them to bring you a CGM in the hospital. Now they

Riva 34:35
brought me a sample. That's cool. That's very cool. And no one knew how to place it. So they pulled somebody whose husband had when she came in. I was in the shower in the hospital room. And Adam, you know, stuck it on his arm and click and we didn't have the right phone for it. Adam found an old one image Word house, I will say from diagnosis onward like it was on for Adam and I, we just jumped into, like, let's do this. Right. Let's try to continue to make an awesome life for our family. It's not to say didn't push us down. We could pretty ground down by course.

Scott Benner 35:25
Yeah, that's pretty much to be expected. You know. And on top of that, we're not even talking about it. But me just said at the beginning, your oldest is neurodivergent. But what is that? What does that mean?

Riva 35:36
I was trying to think about how much of his story I would want to tell. Just to say multiple overlapping diagnoses. Intellect north of 99th percentile. percentile. Super awesome. High needs kid.

Scott Benner 35:54
Okay. They come with medical issues. Newly

Riva 35:58
Yes, yeah.

Scott Benner 36:02
Yeah. Okay. Well, so you were pretty tired to begin with? What makes you? What? What made you keep having children? I don't I'm not judging you. I'm just it's a I think it's kind of a reasonable question. What like, when you when you hit a struggle in the beginning, I mean, it slowed us down. I think we thought we were gonna have three kids. So

Riva 36:24
we love having a family. We wanted to build a family. And I wanted four kids. So we're stopping. It did slow us down.

Scott Benner 36:33
Do you want to just try one more time?

Riva 36:36
We are now we're unable to and we're all too old and poor now.

Scott Benner 36:40
Oh, poor don't even have enough energy to have sex? What are you talking about? Wait, how do we make the I can't do that. Nevermind.

Riva 36:51
What's your name again?

Scott Benner 36:51
Yeah, no kidding. Kelly joke sometimes. And she's like, what if we had another baby right now? It's like, I would probably die. I was. Like, I would just shut off. It's not the desire, like the thought of doing it is like kind of exciting, right? But I don't know where the energy would come from. I really don't. I mean, RT is home from college for a few months. And it's fantastic. But she's going back in like eight days. And there's part of me that's like, Oh, good. I'm having trouble keeping up with just the extra laundry. That might be a comment about her clothes. Being a clothes horse, too. I'm not sure. But but nevertheless. So you come home with a CGM. You find a phone you're running. You're seeing things so you get to be more aggressive with the breastfeeding because you can see it. That's kind of brilliant. Injections at that point. Yeah. Yeah. How long did you do MDI for a pen? Yeah,

Adam 37:51
it was two months. Not long. Well, we, they were really good about getting us the paperwork we needed, because Omnipod had just come out. He's on Omnipod. Five. But it had just come out a few months before that, and it wasn't approved for, you know, at the time, he was 15 months old. So that we had to get special permission to use it. And a few other things, but once that all came through, there was a backlog of training, and you have to do the training before you can use it. So we were kind of chomping at the bit. Even for two months. We were like we know this is gonna get way better. getting in the weeds on the epi pens come in point five. increments are not epi pens, but insulin.

Scott Benner 38:51
Yeah, units. You

Adam 38:53
probably remember Scott but the point five increment is not that accurate.

Scott Benner 39:01
And often way too much when there's smoke. Yeah.

Adam 39:04
And so we were doing the best we could. This is to parents hitting it with everything we could. Best days

Scott Benner 39:14
were 45% or what was the range we're trying for?

Adam 39:19
I mean, we're overachievers we wanted said

Scott Benner 39:25
that all you were shooting for him is 90% of what range? What was your level? What was your high in

Adam 39:30
with MDI? Yeah, I think driver got one day at 90%. And then

Scott Benner 39:41
yeah, you didn't hear me twice. She's gonna give it to you now. Go ahead, driver give it to him.

Riva 39:47
He's wondering what size ranges? Oh, so I think it's 70 to 180 70 to

Scott Benner 39:54
180. How many nights will he have to sleep on the sofa for that? What You've just done now, Adam. Yeah.

Riva 40:01
No, it's fine. Thank you for saying that. It's Okay Adam, you can you can still sleep in, you know, in

Scott Benner 40:10
the room. The room on the floor next to the bed. I don't know prop one sheet and a half a pillow. Now I'm just teasing you guys have actually, I I actually recognize your your banter from my wife and I like so. It's it's sweet. Like I don't I wonder if people hear it the way I do but I hear it is very playful and and, and loving actually. So. Yeah, yeah, you big dummy. Now. I don't believe we've shared with people you both hold a PhD in something. Is that correct? That's correct. Yeah.

Adam 40:44
She got hers first. Of course.

Scott Benner 40:49
No, I It's why I'm doing making fun of you. Because I imagine your IQs are like 150 And

Adam 40:56
that's not very nice to make honest people's intelligence. They're not smart.

Scott Benner 41:01
Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I didn't consider it but I you do make a good

Adam 41:08
we get made fun of a lot of just

Scott Benner 41:13
Yeah, is nothing this is gonna sound fairly elitist for a second, but I haven't. I've never said I have a fairly high IQ. I guess I do a good job of like, being blue collar on TV, because I am. But um, I've mentioned it in the past. Like, I was adopted by like, lovely blue collar people. I grew up very, very broken blue collar. But my, my IQ is pretty impressive. Probably not compared to yours. But I love it when I meet somebody who I think oh, I am dumb to that person. That's interesting. To real moment when you're like, oh, oh, I'm an idiot in this scenario. Like, okay, anyway, keeps me I like it. It keeps you from, you know, getting to fool yourself. Anyway, after we're done recording, we'll all compare IQs rather than when there's Oh, please, it's not much fun. First of all, there's a thing people don't want to hear about. And actually, my wife is the only person I ever met, like, personally, whose IQ is higher than mine. And I was like, Well, this is a good move. I'll get like this girl, because she can keep me in line. So, okay, so you go, do you go to a dash First you go right on the pot five. Right to five. Okay. And the what were the Basal needs at that point? You remember he

Adam 42:43
was prescribed point one? units per hour? One? Okay. When we were NDI was two units of Lantus per day, once a day.

Scott Benner 42:58
And so the pump worked for you was no trouble

Adam 43:00
is doubled our time and range instantly. Wow.

Scott Benner 43:05
Jeez, that's amazing. And you the algorithm works well for him. No, no. So how do you make it work?

Adam 43:15
So let's put a caveat on that. It works really well at night. And we sleep better for it. So huge when right there. During the day, it would pause insulin too frequently. And too long. My theory is because he was getting point one per hour. That's a rounding error to most users of the Omni pod five is my guess. And so he would just give him enough basil. And then he would rock it up when we feed them. So we run intricate Basal programs during the day now. And then flip them over to automate it at night.

Scott Benner 44:06
Good for you. You think when he gets bigger, it'll be easier. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's part of me that thinks you're going to be able to rattle this off the top of your head but just if you can't specifically just generally like what is the Basal profile you set up for him that works during the day?

Adam 44:22
That's an easy question. It has heard we talk about it all the time and when the adjustments we make so he begins the day with what we call breakfast basil. And that is his so his regular basil rate now is probably point three or point four per hour. And he gets point nine an hour for three hours through the brackets that make sure that anything he eats doesn't send them

Scott Benner 44:55
out a ranch. Yeah. What's the time for that? What time of day is that? Three out was

Adam 45:00
530 to 830 in the morning, okay,

Scott Benner 45:04
where's the go after the point nine.

Adam 45:07
And then we stepped down to point 7.5 Over the next two hours because at that point is going to try to take a nap.

Scott Benner 45:19
Okay. But the foods still having some impact. Exactly. Okay.

Adam 45:25
So we still need to get insulin network up and feeding itself. Now

Scott Benner 45:33
do you ramp it back up for lunch?

Adam 45:35
Yeah, so we ramp it down for nap. And he gets point to an hour when he's sleeping. And then sort of at one o'clock starts, right, we start ramping it up again. And he generally wakes up between one and 130. And he'll have something to eat soon after that it doesn't wake up super starved, or like he's missed lunch or anything. But we usually try to let the Basal the head a little heavier basil soak in, and then we

Scott Benner 46:07
feel Yeah, that's amazing. You guys are doing a great job. You know, right. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, like, I mean, it's nice to hear, but I imagine you're aware. How often do adjustments need to be made? As he's gaining weight? Time? How do you do it?

Adam 46:25
Yeah, so we usually find we have to go up his Basal rate a little, every few months. When he gets sick. We have other basil programs we run, depending whether it's a rhino virus where he needs more basil, or if it's a gastro virus, and we'll need less. So there's a kind of be adjustments you made. Yeah. And then also growth hormone. Which can really,

Scott Benner 46:54
and you're seeing things off. You're seeing that overnight, mostly. Mostly.

Adam 46:59
Okay. Sometimes we see it a nap, but mostly at night. Okay, he'll just kind of start going diagonal up not stopped for a couple hours. And we Bolus sometimes for that. It's getting really up there. But mostly we let the Omni pod take care of it.

Scott Benner 47:18
I wish I had you guys slow march. I wish I had you guys. When Arden was to see me back then with those half unit insulin pens and or syringes and juice boxes everywhere and testing while she was napping constantly and staring at her while she was napping and wondering what the hell was going on with that stupid meter and nothing else? Yeah, I wish somebody would have. I should have made this podcast sooner for myself as well. I was thinking while I was listening to you, because you're having him as crazy as it sounds. And it does sound crazy. You're having a much better time at this than I did. So.

Adam 47:55
I'm glad we think that all the time. We're very grateful for the advanced medical devices that we have. We think how much harder it would have been even a year before.

Scott Benner 48:05
Oh, no kidding. It's you. Jeez, I wish I still had that old meter. So you could say it was my all my gear was a meter and test strips. And these just needles that were everywhere. That um, we still have some by the way. Like, like, if we ever give Arden an injection like we're like, Hey, I'm not sure if your campsite bad or not. Like let's try to inject here. I'm working from needles that we bought, I mean, roughly 11 years ago that are still in a drawer where they work great, by the way. But um, yeah. So every time I pull one out, it's like a, I get into a time machine and go back to a time when I was just panicked constantly. And really exhausted. So. Okay, so Omnipod five is doing great for you overnight. You're using it in manual mode during the day. My last question about that is was there a learning curve of switching out of manual into auto and out of auto into manual?

Adam 49:07
Yeah, we tried running it in auto during the day when we first got but we would get these really big spikes when he was eating. And so we kind of decided, okay, well, we at least have to put it in manual during the day and we'll do the prescribed Basal rate. And that allowed us to make these intricate basil programs that we use now with breakfast, basil, Sig basil, and all that. So,

Scott Benner 49:38
Adam, what about when you're coming out of the daytime out of the manual? And you've been using much more basil than the algorithm expects? Do you have trouble with Lowe's coming out of manual into auto or have you figured out how to do that pretty well? Yeah,

Adam 49:53
it seems to be pretty good at it. We haven't had much trouble with that. Again, overnight. ate it kind of depends on the night of he's gonna get growth hormone.

Scott Benner 50:05
Yeah. Okay, so it's not been a probably, yeah, not

Adam 50:09
really not a persistent one. But maybe Robin wants to chime in on a little bit more on that.

Riva 50:15
But I don't really understand the question. So

Scott Benner 50:17
my thought my, what I'm seeing with some people is if they do manual during the day and then go into automation, the automation, if they come out of it with a big like, insulin on board, but number, the automation can't stop a low that's coming. So you have to kind of learn when to flip it back into auto. And I was just wondering if that was the thing. It doesn't sound like it was a problem for you.

Riva 50:40
I mean, we, we, you know, we're calculating, you know, what's the IB? What are the cops on board when we're putting them to bed. But sometimes we get it wrong often. So we're putting a sweetheart in his mouth while he's sleeping. Or, you know, we were watching it if he's gonna go low. We just, you know, treat him and keep letting Otto do its thing.

Scott Benner 51:08
Ya know, it sounds like a good plan. What am I not bringing up that I should be? Well, what do you want to know about breastfeeding? A beedis. Baby.

Adam 51:27
I mean, I could explain how we kind of got to a point of being able to

Scott Benner 51:31
Bolus well for it. Yeah, please.

Adam 51:35
So in the hospital, they told us that breast milk has two grams per card, per ounce. And so that's what we went with for a while. And trial and error. Most of the errors showed us, that wasn't the case at all. Even when you'd have what Rocco would say, an ounce a small amount, he would go up really quickly, to idle up or straight hot. And so we gradually started assuming it was more carbs per ounce. And Dr. I got better at estimating the number of ounces that she had available and that he would eat. And so we gradually got to a number of five grams per ounce, okay. And that's all really dynamic, too. We have to go with an average. There's lots of people that's just to get your breast milk analyzed for the number of carbs and in but Rive can chime in and tell you how dynamic that number actually is. So even getting tested once it's just a snapshot in time. That

Scott Benner 52:48
is, is it impacted reiver By what you eat. Or no,

Riva 52:54
I don't know that carbs specifically, are impacted by what I eat. But I can say that generally, the composition of breast milk is at Adams using the word dynamic. So where that's often used, breast milk starts out very high fat for a newborn, it'll change over time. The milk that's at the front of your breast is higher in carbs, and lower in fat. It's called the for milk. Okay. There's been milk that if the baby would keep eating, it's called Mind milk. So that's got the fat. If the baby is sick, the milk becomes fattier iron protein. Yeah. It develops antibodies that are specific to a baby's a virus a baby may have.

Scott Benner 54:00
How do it know? How does it How does it know what's I mean? That's crazy. feels it feels a little crazy, but that's amazing.

Riva 54:09
That's amazing. Yeah. There's receptors in the nipple. Adam wood. I don't know. Maybe you know more about science of it. But that when the baby's when the virus in the baby's mouth was transferred to the nipple. It changes the milk over the course of a couple of hours and days.

Scott Benner 54:31
That's insane. He actually went to a feed Sawyer, he just sent a note. So

Riva 54:35
okay, I was going to ask him to go feed him.

Scott Benner 54:39
So somebody will do it. So you're telling me that that's insane. So the virus that's in a baby? The nipple senses that changes the milk to help the baby?

Riva 54:51
Correct. It's like personalized medicine. Oh,

Scott Benner 54:56
I didn't know they could do that. Yeah, what else can new policies that I don't know about. I'm not gonna Google that guy ever. Yeah. Right, what'll happen? So that's insane. It really is. Can I ask, like a mom question? Your middle one? Do you think? Do you worry about that the, like focusing on needs that, then you run out of time, oh, if your oldest needs things and your youngest needs things, that your middle ones just kind of chugging along.

Riva 55:30
So she's our only girl, I did find out recently that siblings of kids with differences in disabilities are sometimes called Glass children, really, because for two reasons, one, prep, they may become fragile, you know, the idea that they may be not having their needs met. And then also that they report a feeling that their parents maybe looked right through them, you know, I looked past them, when they're growing up, we worry about all our kids in the sense that we want to walk with them on their journeys, and be the supports that they need. So some of them are in something called child centered play therapy. Some of them have their needs being met. In other ways. The best support we can give to her is to put her in public school and have her in front of opportunities where she can do her own thing. Nice, it's good for her, she loves it, it's a good fit with her personality to kind of be out in the world. Good.

Scott Benner 56:58
That's excellent. I think being aware of it's probably one of the best things you could do. Yeah, yeah. Because the example I always kind of fall to is even, even in families where there's no trouble data like that you can just point to easily. Sometimes you just have a kid who doesn't need as much help with their homework. And the parents give more help to the one that does, and you can later get reported back as they get older. Like, you know, nobody helped me with my homework. And they'll say like, I didn't need it. But that's not the point. That's not how it feels, you know? So sometimes it's just nice if your parents turned to you and are like, Hey, how's it going? You need help? Yeah. And there's only so many hours of the day. It's just Gosh, this amount of time just isn't enough time. Do you see a light at the end of this tunnel for you as far as time and effort goes?

Riva 57:58
Like I think Adam said, just recently, we've graduated ourselves from the quagmire to just a pickle to now. We were trying to figure out what's this season called? And, you know, Adam, the other day says, I've got it. This is the new normal. And it felt really good to think now we're just living.

Scott Benner 58:30
Yeah, just this, maybe every moments not going to be our and that you can do like you're really you guys have like a different rhythm now? I

Riva 58:41
think so. Yeah. Yeah. One of the main challenges we have now and I would say have had since diagnosis is that Sawyer is little, and babies and toddlers are annoying. It's a lot. His toddler newness is often harder to manage than his diabetes.

Scott Benner 59:11
Yeah. Oh, that's, that's kind of nice to know, don't you think? Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's very nice to know, actually. So the diabetes as it becomes more familiar, and your experiences build up, you start kind of knowing what to do more intuitively. It does fade into the background.

Riva 59:30
Yeah, I remember you saying that. Maybe you say it all the time. But you said on a podcast I listened to maybe one or two weeks post diagnosis. You said one day it just fades into the background. I think I really held on to that. And in the wee hours of the morning, when things were difficult and like you just said When Everything Feels like a nightmare. I just thought you know, event Really, this will be part of our lives. And we were already tuned into what I refer to as differences in disabilities, because of our oldest, we'd already become sensitive to parenting a child with the unique path. And we hope that this would sort of fall into some kind of rhythm to eventually. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:00:27
I mean, and yours is positive rhythm to some people fall into a negative one where they just don't understand the insulin or, you know, and yeah, then that just becomes a completely different story. So your story is, it's so weird to say, because I know it doesn't feel like that probably was it's a real it's a success. You know, you have a success story here. It's wonderful. Honestly, I feel really good about it. You're too tired to feel good about it. But from the audio feel good about it. Good. Oh, that was back. That was nice. What, what did he was that?

Adam 1:01:04
Oh, I gave him iron bar. So it's got nuts and little bit of chocolate.

Scott Benner 1:01:14
Was that for a low blood sugar or just hungry? He

Adam 1:01:16
was trending down. So it just kind of, we're not in the treatment territory. It's just a good thing that I'll bump them up and be pretty even.

Scott Benner 1:01:28
This doesn't need insulin because of the situation.

Adam 1:01:30
Yeah, he's gotten kind of gastro budgie the last day or so. Okay, so we're trying to like, ramp down the basil, but I think we've got a little too much on right now. So he was just calming down more than he should have been a little heavy.

Scott Benner 1:01:47
Yeah, I've been. I'm trying a new algorithm with Arden. So I just put it on, like 24 hours ago. And I'm still doing a lot of staring, trying to, like, is this right? Do I turn this knob? Not yet? Maybe what is this happening? That'll go on for a couple of days, where we decide if we're gonna try this one for a while or not. But um, anyway, it's it's uh, it sharpens every sharpens my skills aren't like, why are we doing this? She's like, loop theory works great. I was like, I know, I'm like, let's just try this and see what happens. So you could always just now that they're just, you know, when you do DIY, it's there's just two apps on our phone, like it just shut one off and try the other one. And if you don't like it, you can just restart a pod with the old one and just go right back to what you were doing. So given Iaps a shot, and seeing how that's gone, which I can say on here, because nobody will hear this for like six months. So plenty of time to cover myself. Okay, like so let's get to the most important question. And I'll let you guys get back to your life. When you listen to the podcast. It's on two different devices. Right. So I get two downloads. It's not just one.

Riva 1:02:58
I read the transcripts.

Scott Benner 1:03:01
Oh, forget my question, then. You. Thank you for bringing that up. I never know who the hell is looking at this.

Riva 1:03:12
Mom's mom's.

Scott Benner 1:03:15
So you read the podcast.

Riva 1:03:17
I have to read it. Our kids. So our oldest is homeschooled. And saw us here. They're always with me. And we're pretty careful about what content they hear. And especially our oldest is, you know, understands everything he hears. So I read them on my phone. When I'm putting someone to bed. When I'm cooking, I have an open reading it bits and pieces.

Scott Benner 1:03:51
I'm not appropriate for your nine year old is what you're saying. I agree with you

Riva 1:03:55
listen too much. Oh,

Adam 1:03:57
I also try to make sure they don't get a huge heavy dose of diabetes. talk all the time. I

Scott Benner 1:04:05
think that's yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. I also don't think I'm appropriate for nine year olds in case any Well, that's who we were just being kind. No, oh, you're Canadian, I didn't realize

Adam 1:04:20
will apologize for that after that.

Scott Benner 1:04:23
explicitly and for hours. We're so sorry. We don't know why. But no, that's so cuz I that's the thing, right? That's like an expense for me. And, and it's time and I do it. And I'm like, is anyone looking at this? But I know I know people do. It's just so hard to imagine. Like for people who wouldn't think to do it, if that makes sense. But I'm glad it's there. That's great. They're getting better and better. I was looking into a new company recently who runs the transcript. And at the same time each transcript gets its own AI bot. And so instead of asking a question of the whole website, which AI doesn't seem to be up to steal, it is very good when you only give it a few 1000 words. So for example, Jenny and I didn't, what do we do a math of Basal insulin or ISF or something like that, where we just have like a super chatty conversation about how to set up a setting. And I've been messing with it. If you go to that AI and say, I weigh this much. And I forget what else you have to say to it like something very simple. What's my insulin sensitivity factor? Like what's a good starting place for it? It actually goes through the text and comes back and gives you an answer. Crazy. So yeah, so I have an imagination where one day you'll be able to go to the website and ask diabetes questions and get rock solid answers from out of the AI coming out of the tax. So anyway, that's all one of my long term goals that I don't tell anybody about. So anybody who's listening right now, don't bother going and looking because I didn't do it yet. But it's but it's happening. So Oh, I'm so glad you do that. Alright, so fine. So you can't just download them and delete them to help me I don't understand. Right? I don't really ask for a whole lot.

Riva 1:06:17
I can't do that.

Scott Benner 1:06:20
It's, we're on on to one of our best months ever. As we're talking. I'm looking at the countdown for the next 36 hours on Michael, I think we're gonna make it to a pretty cool number. So anyway, you guys were terrific. I really do appreciate this. Thank you so much.

Adam 1:06:36
Do you too? Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 1:06:38
no, it's my pleasure. It really is. Yeah, we're very happy to give back. And you definitely have this is a terrific conversation. So I mean, this is how the podcast grows, everybody gets done. And they'll say to me, like, we'll get on recording, and sometimes people will go, I'll understand if you don't use that. And I'm like, why? Like, I don't know what you're saying. I was like, No, how many of these do you think I've never used? Anything I've just recorded and going not that one? Not that when I'm you've pretty much heard every conversation I've ever had with people with diabetes. And, you know, everybody comes from a different perspective. And I think in the end, it ends up helping somebody so terrific. So seriously, yeah, I appreciate it. Can you hold on for a minute for me? Yeah. Great. Thank you. So

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one touched by type one.org. If you're looking for a great organization to support someone who's supporting people with type one diabetes, the way you would like you're looking for touch by type one touched by type one.org. Or find them on Facebook and Instagram. There are longtime sponsors of the podcast, and they're out there doing great things for people with type one diabetes. A huge thank you to ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Are you tired of having to change your sensor every seven to 14 days with the ever sent CGM, you just replace it once every six months via a simple in office visit. Learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox. The diabetes variable series from the Juicebox Podcast goes over all the little things that affect your diabetes that you might not think about travel and exercise to hydration and even trampolines. juicebox podcast.com Go up in the menu and click on diabetes variables. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, but everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes, and you're looking for support, comfort or community check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com