#873 X, Y and Zed

March 21, 2023Scott Benner

Mellisa has type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 873 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Melissa is an adult living with type one diabetes who has had a shift in her thinking and her health. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Were becoming bold with insulin. Hey, listen, if you'd like to help out with T one D research, you can do it right from your home at T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box just join the registry and complete their survey when you do your answers. We'll help people living with type one diabetes, they may help you and they're going to support the podcast T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box 130 5% off your entire order at cozy earth.com You can get it by using the offer code juice box at checkout. And speaking of saving money, I have a sponsor called Better help.com. And if you use the link better help.com forward slash juicebox you will save 10% off your first month of therapy links in the show notes links to juicebox podcast.com. Click on the links support the podcast. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med now us med is where Arden gets her Omni pods and her Dex comes from and they carry way more than that. So check them out at us med.com forward slash juice box or by calling 888-721-1514 That's how you get your free benefits check and get rolling with us med this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox.

Melissa 2:11
My name is Melissa and I'm a type one diabetic. I have been diagnosed with type one since May of 2006.

Scott Benner 2:20
Wow. And obviously you're from Detroit.

Melissa 2:23
Of course. I'm from Australia. I'm in the state of Queensland, and live on a nice little spot called the Sunshine Coast. Well, that

Scott Benner 2:35
sounds lovely. Yes, at the moment, it

Melissa 2:37
is absolutely pissing down. So not really.

Scott Benner 2:43
That hot there? No,

Melissa 2:44
usually Yes. But we're in our winter at the moment. So it's I shouldn't complain. It's I think we had a high of 15. Today was our high. Wait. So that's about as cold as it gets

Scott Benner 2:58
Celsius, right? Yes, yes. There's like a massive heatwave everywhere else in the world. And you're just Yeah, yeah. It's not too bad. It's wintertime, it's about 60 degrees, everything's fine. I woke up yesterday and turned on the news. And it was a hay. It's 115 degrees in Texas. And I was like, Wow, are they alive? Like how does that work? You know, but no, of course, How hot does it get there in the summer.

Melissa 3:29
Um, we can get up to around about high 30s to sort of low 40s. But we usually like there'll be a like anywhere like a heatwave period, usually around the middle of January, and then it's gone. And then it just starts sort of tapering off from there. Well, that's

Scott Benner 3:51
not much cooler than what I was complaining about here. So I just I woke up today and I was like, uh, hopefully there's no word of like, blackouts and things like that. Do you guys do air conditioning there now?

Melissa 4:05
Yes, you do. Yes. That is a necessity because it's, it's only like, we say that by about mid August is we have like a we call it like a shows or like a carnival type sort of thing that happens in Brisbane, the city of Queensland basically and they once that's over and done with winters pretty much finished, and it just starts getting hotter from that point on basically like, yeah, so yeah, it doesn't really last very long. We've sort of got about a month and a half or two months worth of coolish that I'm still walking around and a T shirt and a pair of like, you know, shorts and just put a jumper over the top and it's usually okay, so

Scott Benner 4:53
every every person my wife works with from Europe right now. They're on their calls and they just love it. they're melting into their desks. You know, they're slumped forward and my wife said, are you okay? Like there's there's no air conditioner here. And a lovely woman from France. She said, there's no air conditioning here. She, she told my wife, she thinks her cat isn't doing well. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I was like, what do you what has like get an air conditioner? And then Yeah, apparently that's just not what they do. So

Melissa 5:20
no way you wouldn't be Yeah, no, I imagine. Oh, anyway,

Scott Benner 5:24
that's what you get for being right. Your electrical system just can't hang. I'm assuming, I wish I knew. Because my son asked me is like, Why the hell don't they have an air conditioner? I was like, I think if everyone started plugging in air conditioners, the grid would fall apart on them. So I don't know. I have to figure out why.

Melissa 5:45
I don't know. Probably be surprised.

Scott Benner 5:49
You're like, this is not why I came on this podcast, you moron. So let's get

Melissa 5:55
the things that you can think about at 11 o'clock at night.

Scott Benner 5:58
Yeah, right. And you're straight, I'm assuming?

Melissa 6:01
Yes. Love it. Keep my brain awake.

Scott Benner 6:08
When it's earlier, listen, it's not early here. It's nine in the morning, right? But I haven't done one in like, I don't know, I like strategically started setting up my times a little later in the day. So last night, last night. Everyone's around and I'm like, I gotta get the bed.

Melissa 6:27
And they're like, You were prepping for this. Like I've been I'm like, I need to stay awake.

Scott Benner 6:33
Why am I I have a nine o'clock tomorrow. And my wife goes, my first meeting is at seven. I was like, listen, that's your problem. I was like oh, no, you should have started a podcast. He's not taking like a Normie job. But I have to be going at nine. I was thinking I have to be thinking she goes Do you think I don't have to think in the morning. I was like, I don't know what you do. That's not my problem. Again, listen, decisions were made. You are where you

Melissa 6:58
are. That's right. You made your bed.

Scott Benner 7:02
Go down there and make us some money. Damn it. Yeah, exactly. Kids can't mooch off this box if

Melissa 7:12
this is true.

Scott Benner 7:13
I listen. I say all the time. Sometimes I say things in these podcasts because I'm, I hope my kids hear it one day. My son just graduated from college. And like I'm all about not like I'm not like right up his butt like Go work right now. You know, but yeah, it'd be interesting if he was a little more motivated.

Melissa 7:32
Yes.

Scott Benner 7:33
That's a very interesting separation. I'm saying

Melissa 7:39
Come on, little buddy fly.

Scott Benner 7:42
And it's, I don't know. He's doing fine. I just there's part of me that wishes that one morning I'd see him get up and just full of them and vigor and be like, You know what I'm doing today. Finishing that resume like great. Got your degree. Could you go see if someone's interested in hiring your police? Anyone? Yes. Yeah. Yes. That is fair. All right, Melissa. So you're how old? I am. 34.

And when were you diagnosed?

Melissa 8:11
I so I like many others I have listened to on your podcast was diagnosed will misdiagnosed as type two, just before my 18th birthday. So it was a couple of days before Christmas of 2005. Yes, I

Scott Benner 8:32
have when you're 18. I'm assuming you were finishing school or had just had just just okay. Were you did you go to what would you guys call it uni?

Melissa 8:46
Uni isn't it? Yeah, next step after high school, but I didn't. I had gone straight into a like a traineeship. I know what the equivalent would be. But like, yeah, basically just going straight into work and doing a course at the same time in the field that I was working in. You know,

Scott Benner 9:05
the little voice inside of me that wants the podcast to be just as much fun as possible. Like you were like, you're like what I did was I'm like gun running, say gun running. In my head, I was like, what would be more interesting hooking your gun running? I hope she says something good. You know, you're like yeah, with a training. First off, I was like, God damn it.

Melissa 9:26
Boring. Yeah, tell me about it.

Scott Benner 9:28
I learned how to count cards. Scott. I went to Las Vegas until I got arrested. It was amazing. Let me tell you about my cocaine habit. Nothing. You're like no, I got a job. Oh, I

Melissa 9:38
wish my life was more fun.

Scott Benner 9:41
Well, what I've just described I don't know if it would make it more fun but

Melissa 9:44
this is true. More complicated, at least. Anyway. Yes. Not

Scott Benner 9:48
denigrating your decisions. Good solid.

Melissa 9:53
Yeah, no and you know, I think I in red Respect, I'm definitely glad that I was diagnosed at the time that I was. My grandma. So my mom's mom was diagnosed with gestational diabetes after she had my mother and that was in 1960. And I think my grandmother was around, you know, mid 30s, I think. And she basically just, as my understanding of it, it just somewhat developed into sort of being insulin dependent after having my mother. So she passed away a couple of years ago, but bless, she was definitely my inspiration. She had lived her whole, you know, diabetic life. And pretty much had absolutely no complications, like, you know, like, other than just the normal general things that you get when you get older and older and older. But nothing, there was a there was nothing she she looked after herself, she, you know, did everything that she had to do. And I just remember looking at that and thinking, God, I hope I don't get that. Still, like, you know, until I did.

Scott Benner 11:20
You might have jinxed yourself. I don't believe in that. But it's

Melissa 11:26
the amount of times that I had things come up in my life prior to having diabetes and thinking, I remember when I was learning to drive, and the instructor got a horrible phone call from a son or daughter or whatever, and was, you know, went on to explain to me that they were a diabetic and had a really bad low and I had that general sort of understanding of it. From my grandmother and everything, and you know, then I remember her just like sort of telling me like, Oh, this is awful. And this is so horrible. And thinking, oh my gosh, like, you know, there are other people that, you know, obviously have this and have really, really bad times with this. And I only really knew my grandmother who was doing, you know, like, she just went about her day. And I remember thinking again, God, I hope I don't get this, like, I hate needles, and this would really suck. Like, no one really loves needles. I don't think but I always

Scott Benner 12:28
think that when people say like, I don't like needles, I thought I always think like, do you imagine there's a bunch of people running around?

Melissa 12:35
Like, I love it. I love a good needle.

Scott Benner 12:41
You know, when people started telling their stories, you know, and this was crazy, because I don't like needles. Like, really? Tell me more. It's fascinating. Could you just say you're a gun runner, please. I'm trying to get downloads here.

Melissa 12:57
Oh, I love this. I hopefully there's something exciting coming.

Scott Benner 13:01
Anyway, so. But I take your point. Yeah. So you just happened to be in this this like, random situation where you got to see somebody struggle with diabetes around how much? I mean, I don't know how old you have to be to drive in Australia. So how old were you then?

Melissa 13:16
Um, I would have been around 16. So it would have been, yeah, about a year to two years before diagnosis that I had had that and that was really the like, I'd never had any friends growing up that had it. So I didn't have anyone that was in my general circle of people that had it. And that was sort of the that was sort of the first time that I had sort of encountered someone else other than my grandma. And it was God awful. Like, it was you know, like the ATM like my grandmother was, you know, after having it for so long and being diagnosed when she was she was you know, she would never inject herself in front of anyone she would always go to the bathroom she would for all intents purposes you would have never have known that she was a diabetic except for the occasional low and you know, you could tell them but yeah,

Scott Benner 14:12
did the driver's ed person make you drive to the house for the kid where the person was like,

Melissa 14:17
No, like you're no but it was it was scary enough though that like that was almost what I was sort of expecting like, I did say to her like do Should we just like do you need to go like yeah, because she was like calling people to try and like sort this out. I don't know how old her her kid was but um I just remember thinking like this is like, like that there was that sense of life and death and really not.

Scott Benner 14:44
Again, it was just hoping that your first driving experience was you like mad driving in the movie, you know? And you don't know what you're doing and it says like student on board anyway make for a great movie. Yeah. aren't in so in New Jersey, you have to drive for six hours with uh, everything in New Jersey is about making money for somebody else. Like you're not allowed to pump your own gas and they can hire people to pump your gas, which I'm like, Okay, that seems reasonable. Right? But when you convenient Yeah, well, listen, it's convenience is it's lovely, but I like that they're making jobs like there's nothing wrong with that. But the drivers that thing is you have to drive with a driver's ed person for six hours before you can go. I don't know before you can drive on your permit after that. Yep, so Arden's out, like on her second time, and she's with this woman, she goes, that I don't even know how to describe this lady. And I was like, okay, she's like, she was rough. And I was like, okay, and I said, all she talked about, like, imagine this woman in her 40s were the men she had been with before. My daughter was like, 17 going like, Oh, that's amazing. Great, this is lovely. And so you know, this, this adult on making air quotes is, you know, got these kids trapped in a car telling her war stories of my daughter's like, I just needed six hours. If I listen to you, will you pass me? The first day is all very easy. On the second day. They're doing a little more. It's ramping up a little bit. The woman gets a phone call and says no, no, no. Now we can come. Yeah, no, this one can drive. I can tell him I will my daughter's like, wait, what? And then she suddenly took her off this little route that they have for the kids to get them going and just took her right out on the highway to somebody's house to drop off like a certificate or something like that. It's like I was her Uber driver. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah,

Melissa 16:36
that's awful. I thought you were gonna say that you will get she was gonna have to drop her off for a booty call.

Scott Benner 16:42
From from artists description. She's like, I don't think these stories were real.

Anyway, I people, right, I have to make a note for myself to see if she can remember a couple of those stories next time ever on the podcast? Seller drivers. It's hard. Yes. All right. So you grew up around your grandma, mom, it was there. But it didn't seem awful, because she was kind of keeping it to herself. Yeah, yeah, one story where this happens, then you then you're off to work after school, and how does it present?

Melissa 17:16
I remember, like I was that typical person who very rarely ate breakfast, and by about 1010 30 would start getting very shaky very and just sort of like, just generally feeling like that would have been definitely low symptoms. I imagine. And by that time, I like. Just remember sort of thinking there was obviously something wrong. I had self diagnosed myself with Ross River fever with absolutely no reason to think like there was absolutely no valid reason for me to think that that was what it was other than it was like, well, it's not anything else. And that's something that simple to you know, fix, hopefully. So I remember going to that sort of happened.

Scott Benner 18:03
Hold on. You said something that I've never heard of before. Is it Ross River fever? Yes.

Melissa 18:09
Yes. It's a mosquito borne like, virus thing that just makes you feel like so. Yeah.

Scott Benner 18:16
Everyone who ever thought I might go to Australia one day was just like, yeah, no, thanks.

Melissa 18:20
Yeah. There's plenty of nice things but you don't want to get don't get eaten by the mosquitoes.

Scott Benner 18:29
Remember that King Kong movie where they lived on that island Scott? fighters came? It's not like that here at all. Don't worry.

Melissa 18:38
They're not big, but there's just lots of them.

Scott Benner 18:40
So what just told me the symptoms that made you think you had Ross River Virus,

Melissa 18:46
I was just the fatigue. The just the all over aches that like the tiredness and I had sort of that was pretty much like, other than I didn't really sort of link the symptoms of the shakiness or anything of being anything other than geez, I probably should eat something. And just sort of I remember going in at around about October ish. And at that time, I didn't really have a GP, like a general doctor or anything. And just going into one that was close to work. And you know, she did the whole, you know, Yep. Cool. All right, we'll just run some Bloods and we'll see what's going on. Cool. And then of course, you know, I didn't bother following that up straight away. So time had passed. It eventually got them done going back, blah, blah, blah. And then she sort of by memory. I don't know whether that then she ran another lot of tests, potentially, I think. And then it was it was like it was a couple of visits. Before we got to the point of where I remember her, telling me that my HPA one C, I think was 12. My memory and my fasting blood sugar when she checked it, there was like 15. Lola wasn't fasting, but it was, yeah, at the time was 15. And she was like, yeah, no, you have type two diabetes you are like, and at the time, for context, I was probably I'm about five foot six. And at the time, probably weighed around about 80 kilos, I don't know what the conversion is. And she's done her little BMI calculation and pretty much said, you're about 20 to 25 kilos overweight. And that is the reason why you have type two diabetes, that was that was her first sort of go to she said, You need to go on a low GI diet. And I'm going to give you some Metformin. And I will see you back in a couple of weeks, and we'll go from there, test your sugars get a glucometer. And that was sort of the long and short of it. So I remember when I told my parents how angry like, my dad doesn't often, you know, he's the sort of person who doesn't get disappointed. He's, you know, man of few words, and he was so angry at me. He was like, not like, not directly at me, but I think obviously angry and upset that this was the situation. And that was the only emotion that he knew at the time. But it was it was, it was crap. Like, it was such a horrible feeling. And then, you know, mums, sort of, you know, thinking, Oh, it's all my fault. You know, it's, you know, it's, you know, her mom's got it, and all this sort of, and unlike that, you know, at the time, I was sort of like, well, you know, they're telling me that I've done this to myself. And so I had all of this awful. Yeah, so

Scott Benner 22:19
don't be sorry, did your dad expressed that he was mad at you? Or did you feel it from him?

Melissa 22:25
Um, I'm on a bit of both. I think he was very short with me and very snappy at me. And I think he had even by memory, I remember being at the place in my house, but I can't remember exactly the words that he said. But it was it was very aggressive. You know, it was, you know, like, very blaming and very aggressive. And that, that hurt me more than anything because it was, you know, like when the person that you don't expect to say something says something and, you know, you catch him more than Yeah, yes.

Scott Benner 23:07
That that none of that was true. And you're going on was that What's that process like for those couple of weeks you're doing Metformin? It's obviously not helping and, and you're waiting and waiting and waiting?

Melissa 23:21
Oh, I felt like I was just chasing my tail that literally so it was I remember I started taking the Metformin she increased my doses Well, I think I can't remember whether I'd gone back to her or whether she'd given me the instructions to sort of go well if they're not if your levels aren't x by this point. Then take two tablets or you know slowly increase your dosage and then I started getting all the lovely side effects from Metformin the upset stomach and the bitter nausea so you know was having to double dose up on every you know, other thing to counteract all of those my sugars were awful you know, there was there was absolutely no improvement based on the Metformin so I remember going back to her and she said to me, you're obviously not eating well enough because look at your levels. And I just like

Scott Benner 24:20
you are you are falling Oh, yeah,

Melissa 24:23
yeah, yeah, I remember for Christmas day. I had eggs for breakfast. And I had one piece of bread with cheese and chicken on it for lunch and also for dinner. Like I was you know, I like again bread. Exactly. Come on, like cut me some slack you know, like, no, no, no treats No, nothing like I I very much She took what she said is serious and thought, oh my gosh, like, I don't, I don't, I don't want this, like, if I've done this, then you know, I need to do something about this. And she, you know, made me feel like I was, you know, this was all my fault. And in my knowledge also was as you know, sound as it was, you know, when she said to me, you just need to eat low GI food. You know, look for the labels that say low GI. It didn't really give me anything. So I remember

Scott Benner 25:37
Dr. Not a witch doctor, right? Yes. Oh, yes. We're now in the middle of like, nowhere in a hut or something with this happen?

Melissa 25:46
Oh, no, no. And you know what, like, this is the this gets this gets that I have, I feel like I must be a magnet for really awful doctors because I feel like this is all I've encountered. We've got an abundance of dumb people over here.

Scott Benner 26:03
So that job you got after high school was with the travel council for Australia

and get some Ross River fever and treated by dumb people when you have to go to the doctor.

Melissa 26:20
Oh, yes. Don't move over here looking for a doctor if you think you've got diabetes, or Ross River fever for that matter. Because you're absolutely stuffed

Scott Benner 26:27
with a you have to keep talking because at the moment your episode is called Chicken bread with cheese. So don't think that's brilliant. Hey, Have I ever told the story about when I spoke in the Dominican Republic? No. So I I accepted an invitation to speak about diabetes in the Dominican. And they asked me to come to talk about management in in depressed areas where people didn't have money for stuff. So I wrote some stuff for myself, had never been to the Dominican Republic got there realized that my idea of poverty and their idea of poverty were not the same thing. But I figured why I have to, I have to rethink what I'm going to do. But they wanted to take me to dinner first. So I arrived at my hotel where a hotel employee is sitting out front on a lawn chair with a sawed off shotgun. He was the security and I went inside and I started walking upstairs thinking I've made a significant mistake. And so I and that was saying yes to the thing is what I was thinking. So I go upstairs, I get packed, they say they're gonna come pick me up, come pick me up in a van, I get in the van. We're driving along. And a mosquito flies through the van. And I'm with like two people who came in to speak and three locals and the driver and the locals just push themselves away from the center of the van to the edges of the van and they're like, don't let it get you. Oh my god. I'm like, what is happening? And so I'm like, it's just a mosquito. I'm thinking and then one of them very artfully kills it. I was. And I mean, I had to ask because I mean, I don't want to get bitten by a mosquito. But what just happened here? And my, my best recollection of one of them was like, you get chimichanga I forget what they said. And that wasn't that wasn't me being like, insensitive. I really don't if they said something similar to that. And and they said if you get that you will just have diarrhea for months. And I'm like, I'm like can I go back to the hotel and see if the shotgun guy and I can like become friends like I was this all happened to try my chances there? Yes. All became within like a half an hour of me being there. I was like, that's the security guy. And if I get bit by a bug that I can't see, I'm going to poo for a long time. I was Oh, goody. I'm so glad. Okay, anyway, great trip. It really was good. I just had to learn to dress like a local, which meant, like you wear pants when it's 1000 degrees outside. So I figured that in long sleeve. So I did all that. And the talk was really interesting. I've never since then or before spoken through a translator. But it was really amazing. Like I stood in front of a crowd of a few 100 people. And in the middle of the crowd, there was a person in a soundproof box. And she spoke English and then whatever local language was best for everybody to hear. And I spoke you could hear my voice over the speaker. And then everyone watching me sort of looked at me blankly for a second. And then she translated it and then they nodded along and then I found my rhythm and it was really cool actually going on the trip was amazing. Aside from the shotgun guys and the the mosquito

Melissa 29:52
mosquito Nice.

Scott Benner 29:54
Yeah, well, literally. Yeah, it wasn't just the mosquito with a bad attitude is gonna make me poor myself the death rate and other things like joint pain and like they just described it as like your life will just end for a few months and if it goes away, you'll be fine afterwards I'll say, Oh, awesome, great. Anyway, oh my god. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Melissa 30:17
I don't know, mosquitoes suck.

Scott Benner 30:21
Is that where you took out of that? Because I took that hot water hot weather places are to be avoided. Well,

Melissa 30:29
it's so much nicer than cold weather.

Scott Benner 30:31
Oh, hold with it. Yeah, that's obvious. But the mosquitoes can't live in the cold. So who knows? Well, yes, I'm so sorry. Let's get back to where you are. Every doctor in Australia is terrible that you've met

Melissa 30:44
girl down? Yes. Yes. So yeah, no, she, I think the next words that came out of her mouth. Were if you don't start if you shouldn't be your blood sugar levels, don't start improving. I'm going to put you on insulin. And threatened to me with it.

Scott Benner 31:01
Oh, great. Yeah. I mean, you were there. I think if you knew better, you'd be like, yes. Can I please have the hand please?

Melissa 31:08
Please give it to me. I think the thoughts that come into my head was good. No. You're not giving me that. That's, that's a that's a no from me. And I that was the last time I saw her. And I think within it wasn't, it was probably a week or two, I had gone to my original sort of family doctor and explained everything. You know, this is this is what's happened. This is how it's come about. And she basically just said, Look, you know, you you don't fit the profile. You know, yes, you could lose a couple of kilos. But that's that. That's neither here nor there. Like that's, that's irrelevant. I think I'm just gonna send you straight to an endocrinologist. This is this particular person I'm referring you now. And basically went to him and that's when he diagnosed me in the May and yeah, had said that it was just like an onset. And yeah, he put me on Nova mix.

Scott Benner 32:20
How long did that whole process take from the first doctor getting it wrong to the next one getting it right.

Melissa 32:27
Um, December through, so through to the maze. So five, six months. Wow, that sounds of being on the metaphor. I remember I was. I can't remember whether I was on Metformin first or diabetics first. But I remember being on both of them. It was I think it was a matter of well, that's not working. Let's try this one sort of thing.

Scott Benner 32:50
I want to I want to find out what happened next. But first, I need to tell you, my chimichanga thing was not far off. Is it chick? UNGUJA?

Melissa 33:00
Oh, no. Are you what you were pretty spot on?

Scott Benner 33:04
I'll tell you right now. Sounds awful. Those c h i k UNGUNY. This is many years ago so that I even came close to the sounds I'm pretty impressed by because, yeah, no, no, I'm so happy with myself. I love it. Yeah. Did I didn't just randomly say malaria or like a, like a more common word that would pop into my head that I was like, No, I remember it started with me. Chunga sort of was like CH and then there were a lot of letters afterwards. That's how I there's a look into my brain. Love it frightening, frightening place that it might be. Okay, so were you receptive to getting insulin?

Melissa 33:49
When, when he went when he sort of was able to just sort of say, okay, everything that that previous doctor had said was a load of rubbish. Listen to me. And

Scott Benner 34:04
sure about it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yes. Your situation that you're willing to do that though, right?

Melissa 34:11
Yes, I was in at the same time, I think going back to my original sort of like family doctor, and her sort of saying to me, you know, I'm going to send you straight to this guy. I really trust him. He's brilliant. Yeah, hasn't got the best bedside manner. Like Well, I'm not used to that. As long as he's not done

Scott Benner 34:43
that seems reasonable. Yeah,

Melissa 34:45
yeah. Yeah, lower my expectations. And he was he was good, you know, definitely didn't have a bedside manner at all, but was to the point and explain things in a way that made sense to me. which bought the trust? He? Yes started me on the Nova mix. And I sort of you know, went on to, to do that I think I think by memory. My next HBA when C was around nine ish was, I think by memory the next one that I'd gotten when I was with him. So seeing is that I'd had really no management for that six month period other than being on tablets that just make you want to spew. It wasn't too terrible, not great, but it was what it was. And, yeah, you know, just getting the dosage right. And got to a point where that wasn't too bad. You know, went to the dietician went through all of those things. And I think pretty much I got to a point where I was at that seven ish. level, and then it was

Scott Benner 36:12
like, start feeling better.

Melissa 36:14
Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, have

Scott Benner 36:18
the wherewithal to go to your father and talk to him about what happened in the beginning.

Melissa 36:23
I spoke to him, I think it was that next day, and just said to him, by memory, I think, you know, I, you know, I can't help this, like, I can't, like I can't do anything about what it is. I'm just going to try my best, you know, to try and make this as good as I can. And, you know, they I think once the shock of everything had sort of settled. They were both on board with trying to do as much as they could to try and help from a supportive sort of standpoint. And again, you know, it was nice having my grandma my grandmother around because she was, I think I didn't find this out until after she had passed away but from other family members that she she held quite a bit of guilt from from what they had sort of said in regards to me also having diabetes.

Scott Benner 37:36
That's terrible. Yeah, huh. I shouldn't have done that. Do you have chi?

Melissa 37:41
I do. I've got a five year old little daughter, Sophie.

Scott Benner 37:44
Congratulations. That's lovely. Yeah, I'm sad to hear she felt that way. Yeah, you know, what, um, I had a question. I think you said something sad and zapped it right out of my head. Dammit. Does your blade do what your dad did? I'm gonna blame you. How's your phone

Melissa 38:10
my brain

Scott Benner 38:11
No, no, I Dad Hold on, Dad. Come on, Scott. What the heck? I don't know. That's gone.

Melissa 38:23
I'm trying to think of where my brain was was sitting at that too.

Scott Benner 38:26
You know, we'll do more of that. We'll just put the ads right here.

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It Okay, and then it's I wish I knew which ads were going on this one I do. Um, off the top my head for you right now, because I'm feeling a little late. I think. I think the people paying for them would be just thrilled. Every once in a while I do want to I think I don't I don't think they're gonna like that. Oh, I like it. That's all that matters good with me. I think it's fun. So I didn't mention Dexcom very much live is still in the Dexcom. Man, I still enjoyed the conversation. And I did. I said the link. It's good.

Melissa 42:00
Oh, I'll I'll say enough about Dexcom and all the right ways. Very much.

Scott Benner 42:07
Kidding. I guess let's pick up there then. So you're you're at that, you know, a young age still? Are you? Oh, I have my question. Sure. Sorry. I walked in circles to get to it. No, no. What's it like? It's just kind of a deep question. It's not, it's not on track with our conversation. So I apologize if it feels like it's out of left field? No, what is it like to, to have that realization that the kind of so called promise of being alive isn't being fulfilled to you, meaning, meaning you 10 fingers 10 toes, you can walk you can run, you can think you can go out in the heat, you can go out in the cold, you need something like what happens when you realize like, wow, most people get this I didn't get it.

Melissa 42:55
I remember there was definitely a sense of a feeling quite broken. And but at the same time, I think I used a bit of denial to sort of get me through and just sort of a bit of fake it till you make it sort of thing like I've always sort of tried to frame even from the from the beginning frame it as you know, surely this is a good thing, like I'm not the best eight or I'm not the best person with X, Y and Zed and you know if this is something that's going to kick me out the Assabet and make me a bit more accountable to hopefully, you know, having a longer life. That's a good thing. Like I'd sort of Yeah, I don't feel like they I know that there was that sense of feeling broken, but majority of most of it was sort of me trying to convince myself that No, no, no, this is okay. This is a good thing. This is making you be better. So that's Yeah,

Scott Benner 44:13
okay. I appreciate that. I wonder sometimes if people realize I'm just asking questions of people I want to know from about Arden No, I think that's fair. Yeah, I I'm just using the podcast for myself. I'm as amazed as anyone else that anybody's listening to it. So you may have moved chicken bread with cheese to X, Y and Zed Oh,

Melissa 44:35
oh, I do love x y and Zed I use it every day.

Scott Benner 44:40
So Good on you because the chicken bread with cheese was in my opinion. It happened too early in the podcast episode I like people to have to wait longer to find out why the podcast isn't named. Gets my brings my listen through rate up Melissa which believe it or not helps with the advertisers they they like to know you're making it past the ads. You know they mean

Melissa 44:59
you 100% I remember when when I, which we'll get to towards the end of my story. But I remember when I first started listening and not having any context around why you named each episode why and what you did. So I was looking at all of these titles and going oh, yeah. I don't know why I was so confused. But yes, now you don't judge a book by its cover, and you just listen to them all, because they're all great.

Scott Benner 45:38
I've gotten so much advice from people along the way. And none of it's been right. It's fascinating. You have to put what the episodes about in the title. I'm like, I don't know, I'm not going to. And and you have to do this. And you have to do that. And, you know, one person told me that I need like, a recipe once in a while, because people would diabetes like to get recipes. And I was like, Oh, I'm not doing that either. You know, you have to let people talk. And I'm like, Yeah, I mean, I do. But I want to talk to like, you know, it's, it's not just a it's not a repository for people to just blather on. I have to tell you. Most of this is interesting. I recorded one the other day that for the first time I thought I might not use this. Oh, I've never had that thought before. Eight years. Like not like seriously, it's what is it? 2022 I can't keep track the COVID really messed me up. I don't know where I'm at. I thought it was gonna come back. But I don't know what day it is. I don't know what year it I don't care anymore. But yeah, it doesn't matter. But uh, yeah, I the person just I don't know that they answered one of my questions. Yeah, right. And what they said just rambled and went in circles. And I don't think it was purposeful. I think they just they weren't good at having the conversation. I think they thought they weren't. I'll have to listen back to it. Oh, and I will. But if it makes my brain is numb as it did the first time. It's gonna be the first time I just go. Hey, so no, yeah, the microphone didn't work. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'll say exactly, because I feel bad about it. But I got to the end of it, and I thought my might be the only one that ever hears that. But anyway, like I've gotten like a ton of bad advice. One of them. One of the people told me that I can't tell anybody how I manage Arden's blood sugar's Yeah, right. Yeah. Can you imagine this podcast if we didn't talk about that? Oh, God, would that be again? dumb people? Yeah. Not just doctors. Melissa, nice dumb people are not just doctors. Oh, this was just an Australia that can be your title. But I for so many people, I for some reason picture Australian people as less. Woke i guess i Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Although not and I they locked you guys up pretty good during COVID You took it? So I don't know what to say about that. You know what that like?

Melissa 48:06
I think there's an element of like, even still, like, we're so chill, like, so relaxed about things like there was different states in Australia that got locked up harder for a lot longer than what Queensland in particular did. And yeah, like we've we've, we've, we've been very, like, you know, like, I know a lot of people who have gotten or gotten sick and you know, and it is what it is sort of thing but you know, we've all remained very, very relaxed about it sort of thing, which is Queensland, Queensland mentality.

Scott Benner 48:46
Just chill out is everybody Hi, Kate. Melissa, what are you trying to tell me right now? Yes, yeah, a little bit but he's just a little stone sitting on the beach

Melissa 48:59
almost. Yeah, there is probably a higher I'm not painting a very good picture for you, but it's probably Yeah, we've got great beaches. And when it is sunny, it's lovely. But there is probably a higher percentage I reckon now sort of between where I'm at and sort of the border for the next state that are just very much that that you know, they're all very much

Scott Benner 49:32
don't worry you're not the

Melissa 49:35
boss and all that sort of stuff. Not that the you know,

Scott Benner 49:38
how could you say the beaches are great Don't you have great white sharks all around that island of yours?

Melissa 49:44
Gathering That

Scott Benner 49:47
is ridiculous.

Melissa 49:49
Well, I consider out like where where I'm at we like shoulder shocks and stuff, but we don't Get like if you go any further north than where I'm at you start getting killer jellyfish like these jellyfish and no doubt the site like I've you know they're they're tiny they're tiny like the size of your thumb called era Ganges and they can they can kill you and so can normal box jellyfish too I suppose but you know they we don't get crocodiles for the most part here in our in our waterways as such we don't so yeah we're a little bit more sheltered which is nice I like

Scott Benner 50:38
that you think the statement we don't get crocodiles for the most part is comfy and

Melissa 50:45
I had to think about that because I remember there was you know there's that one time that you know one just happened to slip down the street so to speak

Scott Benner 50:57
that's the first one that's the first thing you said that felt like double entendre to me remember the time the crocodile slipped downstream? We drank so much think I just made up the same for those sacks? I'm writing that. I want credit in the lexicon when it happens.

Melissa 51:27
Oh, that's hilarious. Okay.

Scott Benner 51:30
I'm awake now. Melissa? Okay, we're good. Love it. How do you get how do you manage it? Like you mentioned Dexcom like you have it now but you didn't have it? Obviously back then. It didn't exist. So how was management I just see mostly went from crocodiles slips downstream to how did you manage your diabetes? People really have to appreciate my my prowess at some point.

Melissa 51:53
Oh, I love it. I love it. You you've got a way of just getting right back on track again. It's like okay, and

Scott Benner 52:00
right back off track again to give myself credit for Okay,

Melissa 52:07
nothing wrong with that.

Scott Benner 52:09
Yeah, what did you start with? I, eventually this podcast is gonna have nothing to do with diabetes. At the end, we're gonna be doing movie reviews, I don't know what's happening.

Melissa 52:19
That's okay. Um, so I had Yeah, the Nova, the Nova mix. And I had an Accu check, go meet up. And pretty much just used that right through by memory until around about might have been maybe 2012 2013 ish, I reckon. And pretty much between that point that sort of six to seven years, to be honest, just seems like an absolute blur. Like, thinking back, I can't really recall. Anything that really affected me positive or negatively when it comes to diabetes, like I was, so I just did the bare minimum. And just, you know, I would, I would check my, my, you know, my blood sugar was a couple of times a day, I would, you know, the Nova mix would do just what it had to do. If it was high, it was high. Like, there wasn't anything else I could do about it sort of thing. And there was never any, you know, worried about changing anything. And again, I was none the wiser and didn't really know. Anything else. So it just kept doing what I had to do just kept, you know, living the way that I knew how and didn't know anything else other than that way. And then I

Scott Benner 53:57
did that lead to outcomes that were less than, than valuable, or did you not even? I mean, how are you even checking on your health in the beginning?

Melissa 54:07
I reckon I probably like, for the most part, I don't think like I never, I've never, never been into debt or DKA. I've never had a really bad low, not to the point of where like I've had to give myself glucagon a couple of times, but I've never had a really bad instance at either end. I would I was not getting my A onesies checked regularly. I would sort of do it if I had to, or if the doctor was like, Okay, we'll check it while we're in the clinic now. And yeah, very rarely, very rarely was, you know, I'd get my bloods done maybe once every, you know, six to 12 months again, when I was sort of like frowned upon and forced to you know, there was times I remember, you know, I went on a on a holiday up to the top of Queensland. And Mike, I don't actually have any strips and was just completely unfair, like I'm fazed by it. Yeah, I should probably buy some. And that was sort of that was that was all that sort of entered into my mind. godson never used them was just like, oh, well, I'm on a holiday. And I think because, you know, I would go and get my onesies and they were coming back, you know, sevens and eights. You know, no one was, it was it was never enough to be a red flag. And again, knowing none of the wiser in terms of like, the equal parts lows that I was having to equal parts highs, that was, that was why I was getting those numbers, like understanding that now. But yeah, like I was just doing the bare minimum, like I was, you know, eating as I wanted to, I've always been quite into exercise, like gym stuff, and everything. So I was still maintaining a relative amount of exercise. But that was sort of about it. And then I met or not met have known my husband since we were 14. So long time. And we got married last year, we've been together for 12 years. So probably around the time that just after him and I had sort of gotten together was probably the time where I was like, I really need to get my into gear, I need to sort my life out, I need to get my health on track. Like, I have something serious, you know, that I have to be accountable for and to rather than just myself.

Scott Benner 57:01
We're obviously for those eight years in between. I think I did the math, right. You knew each other for a long time. But you've only been together for 12 years. What happened there?

Melissa 57:11
Ah, with my previous partner before, we were all friends. And I think because everyone knew that I had diabetes, but it was very much. She's not worried about it. We don't have to be worried about it. Like they were none the wiser, because I was so okay with everything. If anyone ever asked, yeah, it's fine. It's good. And yeah, like I just, I would never go into detail with anything. Like, we'd never, you know, anytime my parents would ever say how was it? I would just give them the bare minimum. And it was always positive. And never really wanted to burden anyone with any of that. Even though I was feeling like, you know, I could like No, I didn't know that I could be doing better at the same time because they were like, I think while there was never this sense of okay, well, you know, let's try for a six A whimsy, or let's try and improve that seven or eight. It was just like, yep, everything's fine. Cool. Yep. Cool.

Scott Benner 58:26
The number comes in a place where the doctors like, that's good. And it doesn't matter how poorly you got to the number. Yeah, kind of rest on that as your Yes, sir. Yeah.

Melissa 58:35
Oh, 100%. And again, like, you know, having diabetes for 16 years and only knowing and really understanding all of this. Since listening to the podcast in the last 12 months. It's like, like, seriously is dumb people there was there was too many dumb people around here that are giving enough good quality information. The whole like a person you know, shouldn't have to have diabetes for this amount of time without getting that general understanding.

Scott Benner 59:07
How much of of your comfort with it being where it was, do you think was your age and how much do you think it has to do with your initial experience and not end? I'm gonna say to seeing your dad's reaction. There's no way you wanted him to know anything was wrong after that, I would imagine.

Melissa 59:27
I think every part of that affected the way I looked at it. My mum has never been in good health. She's an alcoholic. She has had thyroid cancer and had her thyroid removed. She had epilepsy, which was somewhat induced by we the doctors could never pinpoint whether it was due Due to anything in particular, like they'd sort of thrown around the thought that it could have been induced by low blood sugars, but she was never diagnosed as a diabetic. So all of these other health factors that I've sort of grown up with and lived with prior to my diagnosis really sort of shaped my, my outlook and what I chose to tell them. Because it just it was just it was just easier it not existing to them.

Scott Benner 1:00:36
I mean, I understand it's, yeah, I think really, we all kind of want things to go perfectly, you know, like, Oh, I got sick and my family jumped right in, they were just, you know, they were just right there the whole time. But I don't think that that is what happens for most people. I think that idea of the hope that everything's okay. Or it's just a new level of okay. Is, um, I mean, I think it's on everybody's mind, I don't think they think about it consciously, but nobody wants to walk around thinking, Everything's bad, everything needs effort. Here's a list of things we don't do anymore, because we do this instead. You know, like, there's an idea of like, staying normal, stay positive, keep going ignore the stuff that's too hard to deal with. I never felt that way. I was, I was always I don't when doctors would say like, oh, this is great. Hey, once he seven and a half, that's great. You're doing great. I was like, No, I don't think I am. Like it's weighed close to the red part on the chart here on the wall. You know, and, and, you know, don't the one that I think the one that pushed me towards this was that I didn't have to worry about high blood sugars, because she was too young for it to hurt her. And I thought nothing about that sound scientific at all. You know, like, like, What do you mean? Like, there's a certain age where we're a detriment to your body is, it's a gimme, like, it was just that it's a mulligan, or I just I was just, I've never been golfing in my life. It's weird that I reached for that. But, but you don't mean like, it just doesn't count doesn't count? Because? Cuz she's four? I think I don't, I don't think that's right. You know, like, so. I don't know. And it was wasn't for me, it was for somebody I cared about which, interestingly enough, you just described the same thing that everybody else describes as an adult that comes on here, which is you really didn't take care of yourself until there was someone in your life that you wanted to be okay for? Yeah. 100%. And I'm not a psychiatrist, but I guess watching your dad grow up with a spouse who was sick, you didn't want to be that person to this person you're with now?

Melissa 1:02:45
Oh, 100% 100%. And it was, you know, I think it was definitely that it's time to, you know, be an adult now. You know, it's time to batten down the hatches and start looking at what a future actually looks like, you know, are we going to have kids all these sorts of things, and I remember going to that first appointment, and I had, like a student doctor at the endocrinologist office, sit me down and ran through everything. And I think at that stage, my one C was low eights. And I remember him saying to me, at the ripe old age of probably around about 2024 2025 or so, if you keep going this way, you're not going to make 40

Scott Benner 1:03:47
No, that's not Oh, Mike. Yeah, right. Okay. Well, I gotta go

Melissa 1:03:52
far out. Like, yeah, like it was, it was it was it was equal parts, like urine oil. And you know, are you actually serious though? And it absolutely scared the shit out of me. Like I thought, you know, I That's That's not okay. That's not fair. Like, you know, I'm here on I'm I'm ready to go now sort of thing and

Scott Benner 1:04:18
I'm not letting diabetes slow me down.

Melissa 1:04:24
I'm, I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Like I'm you know, and he sort of, I don't know, it was just it was such a he, what like I had sort of gone in there in that state of you know, I'm ready. You know, I'm ready to be compliant. You know, I'm not I don't want to be the person that you're putting, you know, the strike marks against and stuff like I'm ready to listen now sort of thing and he just thought I was full of it like, and really just made me feel like you know, no, no, no, you're you know, you You're gonna die if you keep going this way, and I'm going to scare you into thinking that you really, you know, make sure that you really get it. And when I said to him that I was, you know, hopefully wanting to start a family and this is this is my motivation and he then passed me on to my now, endocrinologist and she has been amazing. She she is she is equal parts amazing and stunning and lovely and kind and supportive, and, and everything that you can sort of hope for, which has just made things so much easier.

Scott Benner 1:05:39
And I asked you to be introspective for a second, because it feels like you're describing a scenario where a doctor heard you say something that made them think, Oh, this one's ready, and slid you over to the other side of the ledger. Like, oh, we can start helping her now. It is there anything about you? That would indicate that you weren't? Like, like, was that doctor assessing you correctly? I guess? That's my question.

Melissa 1:06:05
I think, I think because there was such a massive time between me saying and then do my endo and not seeing them. I had had my when I first got diagnosed, I was seeing an endo and a private practice, and then didn't like he then I don't know where he went and then ended up having to try and find another one. And it was that awkward stage of sort of a not really wanting one and also sort of needing one at the same time. And when I finally got to that stage of where I got referred to them, I think he was just sort of looking at me like, Well, you haven't seen one in at least the last two years.

Scott Benner 1:06:51
Okay, you know, it wasn't because he heard I want to have a baby and I want to do all this it was because he's like, you haven't taken any he was, so he kind of he kind of became your parent there and put you on the road? I think so. Yeah. It's interesting, because you hear people say, the doctor didn't do enough. Or, you know, they could have tried to help me with this, or blah, blah, blah. And then you hear doctors say, Well, don't listen, people aren't ready to take help, and yet forced them. And to me, it seems like it's I don't know, I don't know if if it's a little bit of each side blaming each other? Or if Yeah, or if each side's right. In some scenarios, I can never tell completely, or if it's just not something I'm ever going to quite figure out. But, you know, it's,

Melissa 1:07:40
I think you're definitely right in that in like, in this case, most definitely. Because he had all like, uh, he had all the right reasons to think that I was, you know, and I know that I wasn't compliant. But it was it was that sense of frustration of being like, come on, like, I'm here. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm raising my white flag. I'm asking for help. Don't make me feel even worse than what I already do, in a sense, like, yeah, that was that was probably the thing that sort of put me like, while I felt like I was taking a step forward, it sort of also made me feel like I got kicked back a couple of steps. How so? I think it's sort of it was I remember feeling quite I wouldn't say traumatized as the word but to an extent like it sort of put me in a place of where I was like, Okay, I better be good I better be good I better be good and and really over focusing like you know, really micromanaging things as much as I could for periods after seeing him thinking you know, if I don't do this I'm gonna die like it was everything like was so catastrophic. And there was no happy medium for a period of time.

Scott Benner 1:09:07
Well, what what did you do that what were the steps that you took to bring yourself from where you were to where you are now and where are you now? Like, what do you have better variability? Yes, up and down. What's your aliens? Yes.

Melissa 1:09:18
All of the good things. So my endo at the time put me then on to Lantis and over rapid that was our first step taught me how to do all of that. Prior to my pregnancy in 2016, I'd gotten my a one C down to 6.8. I got a pump, the April of that year of 2016. So I got the Animus pump that made a massive difference again, so having, I think having you know going from When she new found out that I was on the Nova mix and then sort of suggested going on to, you know, the Nova rapid and the Lantus and on my arm more injections like this is, you know, God, God awful. And she's like, No, no, no, this is going to make a massive difference, like you're going to have freedom. Like it doesn't it doesn't get to, it's not going to seem like it. But it is, like, okay, and then I got the gist of what she meant, and, you know, really started to, you know, micromanage things, and, you know, doing so much better, and then the pump, you know, coming up and knowing how much more freedom again, having something attached to me all the time. So, yeah, sort of, you know, flash forward to now, and I have a 5.8 a one C, I am on the tandem with Basal IQ, and have a Dexcom G six, and have had so for the last three years, I've had the Dexcom Yeah, for the last three years had the G five and then transition when it got approved in Australia to the G six.

Scott Benner 1:11:07
Yeah, that's amazing. Good for you. Yeah, that must feel it. Yeah. Right. Oh, yeah.

Melissa 1:11:12
Honestly, like, I think the turning point really was, basically everything sort of continued to happen in a very, very much the same sort of way between, you know, I, all throughout my pregnancy, I tried to manage as best as I could, had my daughter, my one C went back up a bit, you know, trying to balance being a mother and looking after myself and looking after another person. And then getting basically to 12 months ago, and got married in June of last year. And went to my Endo, and again, I've managed seven eight onesies up and down, you know, for the last few years, and I think my one C was 7.7, point six or 7.8 or something after the wedding. And like, okay, something's got to give Like the old like, I've, you know, I don't feel okay about this, like, you know, I'd been fighting pretty much with my diabetes educator for the previous six months, you know, her trying to just ask butting heads trying to manage. manage things. She was always like, you know, why is this happening? And I'm like, I don't know. I really don't understand why I like and it was frustrating for me because she was questioning, you know, my, my daughter, and but I didn't understand it either. And, you know, she was thinking, you know, what did you eat here? And I'm like, No, I told you I didn't like, I don't know why it's just shut up like that. I don't understand. No one sort of, like, I'll go given a Dexcom boot with absolutely no context on what to do with it, other than this is gonna save you from testing. You know,

Scott Benner 1:13:07
I didn't know that you and I were gonna learn this at the same time. Is that what's happening right now? Yeah, yeah.

Melissa 1:13:13
Oh, I know. I'm like, seriously, like, it just, it felt like it was all very much like, like, since I don't know, like, since listening to so many other people's experiences. And you know, I'm sure they've, they've all probably had similar ish times as well, where there is that sense of, okay, well, I've been given a piece of technology or equipment, and not really any instructions on how to use it, but it just sort of was like, Oh, here's a pump. They go Go for it. And it's like, oh, okay, cool. Oh, I've got maybe I'll wait. And you know, like, everyone does for a period of time, I'll wait until they tell me to, you know, bumpity here and whatnot, and didn't have I think it's that I didn't feel confident or comfortable having ownership of my own health.

Scott Benner 1:14:05
Okay. And you're waiting for somebody to tell you what to do.

Melissa 1:14:09
100% 100% That's exactly what it was. And I remember I went through it like the beginning of last year and was like, you know, I was never a podcast person. Never listen to anything. I was like, No, thanks. I don't do that. And my drive to work is about 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back, so I started listening to some self helpy sort of stuff and whatnot. And then remember having this thought of, you know, maybe I could listen to something that might actually help me. You know, these are great, but like, I could be doing something more practical. With this time if I'm gonna, you know, whilst I was in the, in the realm of listening to podcasts, and that's what made me stumble. You know,

Scott Benner 1:14:54
getting your chakra in line wasn't helping you. Yeah, no, not at

Melissa 1:14:58
all. Not at all. Yes. No, no, no all the journaling in the world is not going to do anything for my blood sugar's.

Scott Benner 1:15:04
I kept writing down how I felt, am I a Wednesday didn't

Melissa 1:15:09
surprise, surprise.

Scott Benner 1:15:11
We used to do an episode about Pre-Bolus thing and see what happens.

Melissa 1:15:14
Exactly right. Yeah, yes. And that's exactly what I did. That was it was that was the thing that I was butting heads with my doctor about so much because I remember when they started looking at my time and range and sort of going, Oh, well, you're only like 30% time and range. And I'm like, where am I meant to be? Like, oh, well, you meant to be at 70%. And I'm like, oh, okay, well,

Scott Benner 1:15:42
okay, would have been cool if someone told me that. And by the way, how do I do that?

Melissa 1:15:46
How exactly, exactly. And I was still stuck in that, that realm of take eight jelly beans, wait a bit, have a sandwich, wait a bit, and just keep loading it all up, and then you'll be okay, you're not going to die. And it like saying it now makes me makes me feel really dumb? Because it took another educator at my clinic who was also a diabetic to say to me, have you ever considered just eating less? And you wouldn't have that be suck? And I'm like, Well, you know, I didn't

Scott Benner 1:16:26
hold on a second. You're saying carbs are making my blood sugar go up? Hold on. Wait a second. Hold on. I feel like I feel like your crocodile was just going up the waterway. I don't know what the straight stream exactly. I don't know. I forgot my own saying. That's embarrassing. And

Melissa 1:16:54
that's exactly what it felt like. It was like, What is this that you're telling me? And she's like, all just like, try having four jelly beans. Don't have you know, if you're, you know, 3.6 just have a few jellybeans you only want it to go up to five. And I'm like, watch this whole time I've been eating eight, and then having a sandwich or a glass of milk. And then I'll go up to 13. And then you know, and I'm playing that roller coaster ride. And yeah.

Scott Benner 1:17:21
How about instead of listening to a podcast about quilting? You find something? I know it's relaxing at all. But well, I'm very happy that you that you landed where you did it sounds? I mean, exceptional the change? Oh,

Melissa 1:17:38
100%. Like it's, I remember, I think, ah, one I think the first episode I listened to was Chris rude in 200. And something. And I just recently it was yesterday, listen to the second one that you did with him. And I tell

Scott Benner 1:17:58
you before you finish your story, I just booked him for next year yesterday.

Melissa 1:18:02
Oh, that's exciting. How funny. Oh, my God call him

Scott Benner 1:18:05
doing something on Instagram. And I was so touched by it that I just commented. And then he reached out and said, Can I get back on the podcast? I want to talk about mental health and diabetes and stuff. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, I can't have you on for like, a while because my schedule is so full. I was like, but go grab a date. So he did yesterday. So that's cool. That's awesome. Oh, all the planets are in a line. That's awesome. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Listen to Chris.

Melissa 1:18:28
Yeah. Yeah. And again, I think, you know, it was just that time and place like I had been following Chris, for a period of time prior to seeing him on like with the podcast, because he was, you know, the diabetes community. I did I do CrossFit and have done powerlifting. And then, you know, found him through all of that and was just in awe of all of the things that he does and everything like that. So seeing him his name attached to the episode and like, oh, cool, someone that I sort of not know, obviously, but know of oh, what I'll listen to this, because I know what you know, we're not talking about you know, anything else so I get Yeah, so listen to that. And I thought that you know, yep. Okay, like, like everyone else that's, you know, come and spoken to you and it's like, wow, this guy doesn't like it took me a while again, having absolutely no context about you at all. And realizing I think might have been might have even been in that episode. It might have been probably until I listened to maybe two or three that I'm like, you don't actually have diabetes. It's your daughter. That's incredible. You are incredible. You are in you know, and just sort of and just being in awe of the fact of again, you know, as everyone has said that you know that you're able to do what you do because it really has is made such a difference.

Scott Benner 1:20:02
I'm glad. That's wonderful. I appreciate you saying that too. Thank you. I was really proud of myself for not saying something stupid while you were doing that, because when I hear you ramping up to say something nice to me, I'm like, just deflect with humor. Just don't just say something. Oh, this is the part where you say something nice about me. Let me be quiet and listen, which is me. Me going, Oh, I'm so uncomfortable. Please stop. But at the same time, I need you to talk because it's a podcast. Like, if we were in public, and you started talking, I'd be like that, I get it. Unless I helped you. Thank you stop. Thank you. Yeah. It's gonna help it really just stop. Okay. So, but I don't know what's wrong with me. I bet but I'm doing much better. You have to admit over the years. Like of like listening to somebody say something nice about the podcast. I am, I think, eight more years, I'm gonna be a couple more. Guys, I'll just keep hanging out listening for the time when I just accept a compliment, like an adult. So

Melissa 1:21:06
oh, it's, it's, I think, again, it just reiterates even more. So when, you know, in in reflection, when, you know, pretty much every time I speak to my educator or even to my Endo, and I'm like, Yep, this is what I've been doing. And, and I'm telling them what I'm doing with my health. And you know, I'm in control of what I'm doing. And they're just like, Yep, cool. Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, these aren't these aren't my ideas like, this is this is from a great this is from this is from high above, like, you

Scott Benner 1:21:39
know, I've got to say something. I'm still stuck. I got hung with the art of being sarcastic on her episode. She goes, I know, everyone thinks you're a diabetes God or something. I forget exactly what. But somebody called me that online the other day, and I'm like, please, don't please stop doing that. Like, it's very uncomfortable for me. No one cares about me malice. And like, I see someone right that I'm like, don't say that. Like, please. I don't want anyone to hear you saying that. Because now I have to come in and be like, Oh, no. And that it looks like false modesty. You know what I mean? Like, where I'm like, oh, like, you know, like, like, if a guy scored a touchdown, well, you don't have any real sports, so you don't understand what I'm saying. But if somebody did something, if somebody did something exceptional at a sporting event, and then at the end, they were like, Nah, it's it was nothing. You're like, bullshit. It's nothing. You're so much faster than everybody else. And so I can't win as my point. Like, there's no way for me to jump in and say, oh, you know, that's so I just end up saying things like, that's very kind or because I don't know what to say. Like, what am I supposed to say? I am really good at this. I mean,

Melissa 1:22:50
100% Thank you. Yes, I am. I am God know

Scott Benner 1:22:56
how uncomfortable that is. I don't feel that way. I want everyone to know that's listening. Those were Melissa's words. And I don't like

Melissa 1:23:04
that lol agree with me though.

Scott Benner 1:23:06
All I did was just I stepped back and I was like, I have to figure out how this insulin works. I'm using it wrong. And then, and then I figured it out. And then I found ways to talk about it that are relatable and easy to remember. That's all

Melissa 1:23:20
Oh, 100 it's, it's still surprises me. Like now that I'm in a place where I feel comfortable being able to explain things to my you know, healthcare people that there is the they don't see that they don't see the sense of like, adapting the way that they're trying to teach people so that it lands like It's like they have one teaching style, and they assume that everyone's got one learning style. And if the two don't meet in the middle, then you're stuffed.

Scott Benner 1:23:57
Unless the listen it's unfair, because there's only one God. So what are you expecting from these people? Exactly? Exactly. Exactly. What they lack in my opinion, and from my experience, it's the ability to tell a story. It just Yeah, that's what this is really

Melissa 1:24:15
creativity and just this Yeah, they will. As I said, they're all dumb. They just

Scott Benner 1:24:23
this is a good place to stop before you alienate the rest of that island. And it's an island right? I'm not wrong about that.

Melissa 1:24:30
Technically, yes. No. Yes. Yes. It's an Ireland big one. Yes.

Scott Benner 1:24:34
When are you guys going to invade New Zealand and just turn that into like a like a Health Report for yourself or something like that? Is that No,

Melissa 1:24:42
there's a way little while away from us, like we have we have Tasmania which is like the equivalent of Sicily at the bottom of Italy sort of thing like it's tiny little tiny little place but yeah, New Zealand is I think it's like a was six hour flight from it's not

Scott Benner 1:25:02
as close as I think it looks very close on that map thing. I don't know what to do. And I've had a number of people on from New Zealand were lovely, by the way, so

Melissa 1:25:09
100% I've got heaps of friends in New Zealand. Yeah, lovely.

Scott Benner 1:25:12
Alright, let's have a listen. I appreciate you doing this very much. I thought this was wonderful. I appreciate you being kind and let me be a few minutes late. That was that was very nice to the part. Yeah, the part where you refer to me lovingly, I enjoyed on I don't want to say otherwise. I'm just thrilled that neither of us was bit by anything deadly during this you probably more than me. I'm never coming where you are. Because I'm scared to death of the wildlife. I just want to be clear about that. And I don't want to be on a plane that long. Those are my pretty much my two reasons. But it sounds like I mean, let's I was gonna lie and say it sounds lovely. But it sounds like California has what you just described to me. So I don't know what

Melissa 1:25:52
pretty much. Not that I've been to California. But that's how I would imagine it also being Oh, what are we

Scott Benner 1:25:59
gonna do? Well, for all my killed by Heatwave, I look forward to this coming out and so people could hear

Melissa 1:26:03
it. Very much. So I'm very excited to cool. Now you

Scott Benner 1:26:07
were terrific. Really. I appreciate you doing this very much. I know you stayed up late and and that is do you know there's a picture of a platypus in front of me the entire time you were talking those are from right. Yes. I never once mentioned that because I'm I'm really I'm maturing as I get older. Pardon drew a picture of a platypus on my whiteboard in front of me. And then she wrote something next to it that I can't tell you because

Melissa 1:26:36
it's super appropriate.

Scott Benner 1:26:38
Anyway, all right. Well, thank you very much. Love it. Hold on one second. Thank you. Oh, of course.

Melissa 1:26:43
No dramas doe.

Scott Benner 1:26:52
A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. you spell that GVOK E. G L you see? Ag o n.com. Forward slash juice box. And thank you us med head over now. To get your free benefits check out us med.com forward slash juice box or if you want to use the phone 888-721-1514 Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.