#870 The Alaska Principal

March 16, 2023Scott Benner

Molly has type 1 child with diabetes and she is a school principal.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 808. And welcome to episode 870 of the Juicebox Podcast what happened to my voice there when we

Molly is the mother of a child with type one diabetes, and she's also the principal of a school. So we have this very cool kind of hybrid conversation around like 504 plans, but also being a parent, but also they live in Alaska. So, I mean, that's different, right? You're gonna love it. Just listen, you know what I do? Settle in. You're ready, you feel it? Alright. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. Yeah, they're great. I just went into the Frosted Flakes rhythm there for some reason. Sorry about that. If you are a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox and complete their survey. You're going to be helping research by doing that. It's HIPAA compliant. Anonymous, it'll take you 10 minutes, T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Don't forget cozy earth.com. Use juice box at checkout to save 35% This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med now us med is where Arden gets her Omni pods or Dexcom and a lot of her diabetes supplies us med.com forward slash juicebox head there right now to get your free benefits check. Or you can get that benefits check at 888-721-1514. Let us med bring your diabetes supplies the way they bring ours. If you've been thinking about talking to somebody and are considering online therapy, check out better help@betterhelp.com forward slash juicebox Juicebox Podcast listeners get 10% off of their first month of therapy at my link. Better help.com forward slash juice box. That's better help h e l p.com. Ford slash juice box.

Molly 2:34
My name is Molly, and I live in Alaska. And I have two kids. My daughter is 19. And my son is almost 16. And he's my type one. And I have been a teacher and I'm now a school administrator and elementary school principal.

Scott Benner 2:53
Wow. Born and raised in Alaska moved there.

Molly 2:57
moved here when I was 19.

Scott Benner 3:01
When you were 19 on your own or with your family.

Molly 3:06
Following a boyfriend

Scott Benner 3:09
I was I always wait for following a boyfriend or escaping a crazy parent. Yep, wasn't sure which are both who knows, you know?

Molly 3:18
Pretty common story. I came up here for a summer job and then stayed.

Scott Benner 3:22
So the original plan was just to hang out for the summer work to pay for your life and then head back. Yep. What kept you there?

Molly 3:31
Oh, it's just an amazing place to live. Really?

Scott Benner 3:34
That's excellent. I do know people who also said they were going to Alaska for a little while and they never came back. So yeah, I assume they have been killed by a polar bear. But I don't know a lot about geography or nature. So yes,

Molly 3:49
well, I knew there would be I knew you would talk about bears or moose. I was going to tell you as lakes how to hitch up my dog team but

Scott Benner 3:56
there's no way you don't have a husky.

Molly 3:59
I do have a dog and she is a I like to call her a reject sled dog. She is an Alaskan Husky breed, which is what they use for running the Iditarod. But she didn't make the cut. She's lazy.

Scott Benner 4:14
Molly, do you think that when I say my silly things, and then they come true that it's funny or scary because I can never tell which

Molly 4:24
it's funny. Okay,

Scott Benner 4:25
because you have a husky and I have a husky but I don't live

Molly 4:29
in an igloo. Well, you Sam, who knows

Scott Benner 4:31
what you'll lie about today? There's no way I don't know when you get embarrassed, like, oh God, we do eat raw salmon right from the river. How does he know that?

Molly 4:41
We do eat a lot of salmon.

Scott Benner 4:45
But not with your hands like Smeagol Am I correct about that?

Molly 4:48
Correct? Correct. Way to cook it.

Scott Benner 4:52
Would you eat it? On a bagel? Maybe it was a LOX? Yes, I would say well then I was pretty much right. Okay. So you have I'm sorry to children. You said 1916. Yeah. 16 year olds, the type one boy or girl, boy diagnosed how long ago? Almost two years ago. Okay. Was that a surprise?

Molly 5:15
Yep, yep, for sure. No history of type one and either of our families. No major auto immune things. There's maybe some mild allergies on my side. And he had, he's had allergies since he was small. But nothing. Nothing major.

Scott Benner 5:38
He's allergic to ice.

Molly 5:42
When he was when he was a baby, he was allergic to cow's milk. So I used to joke because he used to, I used to buy a really fancy cheese for my then what like to and three year old because he couldn't have cow's milk cheese. So he had goat's milk, cheese and sheep's milk cheese. But he kind of grew out of that. And he has hay fever now seasonal allergies. But that's it. That's about

Scott Benner 6:10
it. Hey, the boy that you fall into Alaska, the kids that are no, no. Okay. Is that? Is that kids still in Alaska? No, okay. Well, he left and you stayed. Can we not talk about diabetes and just talk about the year that you lived in Alaska with that guy, please.

Molly 6:32
That's a really long story. We don't have time for that.

Scott Benner 6:36
So far, that's what I find myself caring about. But you seem like a reasonable person. I'm gonna move in the correct direction now. But I want to hear about what I assume was, I mean, drinking and debauchery and then cheating. And then somebody got caught. And

Molly 6:52
oh, it's less, it's less dramatic than you're thinking.

Scott Benner 6:56
Trying to turn it into an after school special. That's all. Anyway, well, I'm glad that you stayed and, and made a whole life for yourself. You became an educator, obviously, did you go to college in Alaska?

Molly 7:11
I did. I was working seasonally up here for a while and then decided to go back to school and get my teaching degree. And so I did go back up here and eventually got my credential up here and started working.

Scott Benner 7:26
And so how long did you teach before you became became the man? Because you're the principal now?

Molly 7:34
I am. Yeah, I taught for six. I think about 12 or 13 years in the classroom.

Scott Benner 7:44
Okay. How old are you? Can I ask? I am 48. Do you not know or did you not want to say? No, I have to

Molly 7:53
think about it a little bit. Because, you know, you forget I understand.

Scott Benner 8:00
Okay, so it's been 29 years since you follow that stupid boy to Alaska. It looks like you met another boy. Probably stupid but nicer and you like him, and made a couple of kids with him. became a teacher taught for a while. moved into the administration side. How long? How long have you been in that side of it?

Molly 8:21
This is my fourth year.

Scott Benner 8:22
Okay, so pretty free recently, then. Yep. Yep. Okay, what made you wait a minute? Can I ask a question that's not attached before we move on? In my head? Yeah. How does the sun work in Alaska?

Molly 8:38
Well, it's summertime right now. And it's July. So we have a lot of daylight. And I think the sun is setting. Gosh, I would have to look it up. But you know, if I go to bed at midnight, it's still light out, it's maybe getting dusky. And when I get up, it's bright, bright day. So where I am, we have I think, at the height of summer, we have over 18 hours of daylight. And then in the winter, it's darker. And it's not dark all the time it gets it gets fully light in the middle of the day. But I would say in the middle of winter that you know, the darkest time in December, it's maybe starting to get light between nine and 10. And then it's starting to get dark, like between three and four in the afternoon.

Scott Benner 9:30
So just from nine or 10 in the morning till three or four in the afternoon during the wintertime. Yeah, okay. All right. Sorry. I just, I have a note here that says ask about the sun. And I know I'm gonna start asking you about diabetes and stuff. And the whole time you're talking I'd be thinking, I wonder how the sun works. And now that I know I feel I feel better about it. And I never knew if that was a television thing you understand I'm saying,

Molly 9:51
right. Yeah. Or it's real. The Land of the Midnight Sun is is the real deal.

Scott Benner 9:57
How would you get a name if it wasn't real then that's that's Okay, so there's no autoimmune in the family, some light stuff around allergies. So how does the how does the diabetes present for your son,

Molly 10:16
um, just pretty typical symptoms, although the thing that threw us is he never said he was thirsty all the time. He said his mouth was dry. And he just kept saying, my mouth is so dry, I can't figure out why my mouth is dry. I assume he was probably going to the bathroom a lot. Although he wasn't always drinking a ton, he would just swish water in his mouth and then spit it out. Because his mouth was dry. And just tired, you know, lethargy. I, he had started taking allergy medication, because his seasonal allergies had been getting worse. And so when we were trying to figure out what was wrong, I looked at his box of it's just the over the counter allergy meds, and the side effects were dry mouth and lethargy. And so I thought for sure, oh, it's the allergy meds, and we'll stop taking those and he'll be fine. So of course, that didn't work out. He just kept declining. So eventually, and it was during COVID. So this was July of 2020. Okay. So, you know, not so easy just to go to the doctor, but we had finally decided, okay, yeah, we need to take him in. So first step is to go get a COVID test. So we took him to the urgent care to get a COVID test. At that point, they were just coming out to the car to do the test. So they did that. They asked him questions, you know about how he was feeling. And basically said, Okay, we'll call you with the results. We think you should just go home. But if he gets worse, I think they were suspecting appendicitis, maybe they said, if you know, if he's if his stomach pain gets worse, go to the ER. My husband had taken him to that appointment, and I was supposed to meet him there. And then and take our son home. I got there and I looked at at our son, his name is Jack and I looked at him, I said, Oh, I'm not taking them home. There's no way he's like He had declined even more. So can we live about 45 minutes from doctors and hospitals. So I wasn't willing to take him home. So we were able to get him inside the clinic for another for another look. And then he was you know, at that point, he was vomiting. I mean, he was in DK for sure. And as soon as the doctor asked to smell his breath, I knew exactly and like, oh my gosh, it's diabetes, you know, I have a little bit of just kind of basic first aid training and stuff. And my husband is he's also a teacher, but he's also an EMT. And so we kind of knew the basics, but it just until she said, Let me smell your breath. It didn't really click

Scott Benner 13:09
is the fire chief, also the mayor? Sorry, I know, I held it. You couldn't wait for the doctor to come in on the wagon train. So I don't know how I'm supposed to hold it all in.

Molly 13:23
This isn't. This isn't a major city we're in. We're in the biggest city and Alaska says,

Scott Benner 13:27
you know, I'm just kidding. I like it when Canadians are like, I live in a city and I'm like, do you and then it's Toronto or something like that? Oh, my God. Whoa, okay. But, but okay, so but still 4045 minute drive. And you're saying that in the time? From what you saw him last just that day till when you saw him at the doctor's office, there was a noticeable change.

Molly 13:50
Yeah, you know, he just had that look, I just it he just didn't look right. I just said no, he needs to be seen. Do they keep

Scott Benner 13:59
you in the hospital? Or how did it work with COVID?

Molly 14:02
Yep, he was admitted. You know, they told me to drive to the ER. So we did. And we were in the hospital, I think maybe two and a half days. So that because he was in the pediatric unit, they allowed both parents. But there were some restrictions. I think, like we couldn't come and go during the day, we could leave once and come back, but you couldn't come and go and so we took turns spending the night but then we were both there for the diabetes education piece so we could figure out what's going on. Okay.

Scott Benner 14:44
How did he handle the news?

Molly 14:47
He handled it really well. He and I think it's because apparently he's he's pretty mellow. He's pretty even keel kind of person. But also he had A friend all growing up that had type one. And he had a pretty close, there were maybe four or five of them in this in this friend group, and she was always one. And so I think it was, it didn't seem too abnormal are weird to him. It was like, Oh, she's got, like, I have what she has.

Scott Benner 15:21
Okay. Yeah, somebody who's living well, and he sees all the time and seems

Molly 15:26
right. And she seems very normal and functional. And she does whatever she wants, and it doesn't limit her at all.

Scott Benner 15:33
And that hasn't changed over time.

Molly 15:37
No, no, but he also, I mean, it's interesting, because he's a teenage boy. So he doesn't talk much. And that's kind of how he is anyway, you know, lots of one word answers, hates talking about diabetes doesn't, doesn't even want to acknowledge really, that that's a part of his life, or that that's a big part of his life. Kind of reminded me when you were when you had art and on how she just, you know, kind of blows it off. Like, whatever. Yeah. He has that attitude.

Scott Benner 16:10
And would you say he's 16? Now?

Molly 16:13
Yeah, he'll be 16. In a couple of weeks,

Scott Benner 16:15
you might have four more hugs, you can get the next two. Right. Oh, yeah. That's where I see you.

Molly 16:24
I realized that.

Scott Benner 16:26
Can mommy get no, okay. I'll just keep paying for the house.

Molly 16:31
The least favorite thing that I say to him is, well, I heard on my podcast, or the the juicebox guy says this, that he wants zero information about diabetes from me, and most of my information comes from you. So he really dislikes you without ever having heard you.

Scott Benner 16:52
Oh, I can appreciate that. Also, there's a kid in this house with diabetes, it doesn't want to hear from the juice box guy either. So it's a pretty common thing for for that to be perfectly. And if you can use me to deflect I actually think that's a good idea. as I as I heard you saying and I thought oh, people should use me like the doctors use the nurses. You don't even they're like, Oh, the nurse is gonna come in now and give you a shot. I'll wait out in the hall. So you'd like me when this is over? Like I could be the nurse with a needle and you could just be the person who's like, I'm sorry, this has to happen. But the guy said, right. Yeah, well,

Molly 17:24
I do stay. I don't say you know, I think you should try this. I always say, you know, all my podcast guy says that you should do this.

Scott Benner 17:33
You know, I always used to take that as, as people saying that I knew, but now I'm thinking everyone's just hiding behind me. So they don't have to deal with their kids. All

Molly 17:43
right, because we know what I mean, especially as an educator. I know that. Kids don't want to hear anything from their parents. Their parents don't know anything. Yeah. So as a teacher, I can tell kids things and they'll listen. And if their parents told them the same thing they wouldn't. So

Scott Benner 17:59
do you think they actually listen to other people or they just don't have the nerve to yell at other people?

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Molly 22:11
I think it's I think it's a little about

Scott Benner 22:12
both. Yeah, Molly, you just got all serious. Molly's a principal with your answer there. Stop messing around, you're like I have a real thought on this. Hold on a second. Do you? And that is why you wanted to come on the show. Right? Because of your background education. What you see with 504 plans and and what you

Molly 22:29
Yeah, I just I saw a lot of people asking questions about five of fours. You know, I'm not a 504 expert, but I definitely have that school perspective as, as a classroom teacher, I had students with type one, before I knew anything about it before my son was diagnosed. So I, I have that perspective. And then now as a principal, and as the one at my school who is responsible for writing 504 plans and, you know, working with my son's school to write his plan. Just wanted to you know, I think like most people say when they talk to you, like we've learned a lot from from you, and from the podcast, it's really helped. And if there's a way that I can help, or give somebody some information that might smooth their path. And I want to do that, I appreciate

Scott Benner 23:17
that. And we'll we'll see what you know. So I'm just moving the last 504 plan I've ever made over to this computer, so I can pull it up while we're talking. Because I haven't looked at these or thought about them in a while. It's funny, something that I thought was so important, at one point, became a throwaway document as art and got older when we really just didn't need it anymore. And it was just right thing we kept going because that's what you do sort of want to do.

Molly 23:48
And I feel the same way. I mean, I, you know, was very involved in in creating Jack's fi before when he first went back to school. And now I you know, when he when they call for the annual review, I have to remind myself what we put in there. And yeah, and a lot more relaxed about it now.

Scott Benner 24:08
So do you have them? Do you use a template when you make them? Or do you let the people I asked because the first time I brought in my 504 plan. They were like, This is not what we do. And I was like, Well, I've already done this. So we're all good. And they said no, no, we'll take your document and put it into our document. I was like, okay, like this is a formatting thing is what I thought at the time. And they took like my, I don't know, three or four page, like thankfully typed out documents, probably actually two and a half pages when you take out headers and etc. And they turned it into like four bullet points. And they handed it to me and I said, This is it. And she was going into kindergarten at the time and they was like yeah, this is it. This is This is enough. We have other kids here they said with diabetes. And I said if you try to keep my daughter alive with these four bullet points, she He's not going to make it a month here. And then I said, I really think we should go over mine. And that was the first time I pushed back and got them to I got them to sit down with my document to see that just because it had words in it didn't mean that it was trying to trick them or put them in a bad position or anything like that. Right? Yeah, but

Molly 25:21
I don't I think he, I think every district probably has their own format. So yeah, we have a template that we use. It's, you know, specific to our district. But, you know, the 504 the rules and laws and policies that that govern fiber fours and IPs are our national laws. So we're all conforming to the same thing. But how we do it, I'm sure varies district by district. So I am by no means a 504 expert, but I, I have some familiarity with how we do it in my district. And it is, you know, it is just taking those ideas that that you bring as a parent, and fitting it into our format, and making sure it looks right. And then you know, I'm fortunate that I'm in a big district and I have people that can review those documents for me to make sure that they're just as they need to be and legally compliant. And

Scott Benner 26:19
I know that Ardennes at one point Ardens 504 plan became the, like the one that people in town used. And then I think I noticed that the school was not happy with me because it was okay if it was for one person, but then all of a sudden, people were coming and be like, we're gonna use this fiber for plant. And they couldn't argue with it, because we were using it. And that became an issue. And then of course, it went on the internet eventually. So I think people probably all over the country use it at this point,

Molly 26:45
right. And that's how it works with all 504 plans and all disabilities that, you know, if if your child is dyslexic, then you know, there's 1000s of those floating around on the internet that you can find an advocate for but you know, it's a legal document, and we're required to provide everything that's in there. And so from the school side, you know, that's why we are a little more conservative, or we're gonna question your two and a half page document and and say is do we need to have everything in here. And, and part of the trick, I think, too, is that in this probably varies district to district and state to state. But, you know, we have a medical document, the diabetes care plan in our district that outlines medically what happens. And then the 504 is really, you know, just making sure that students can access their education equally with other students. And in to me, those are two different documents. But part of that is because my son was in high school when we were doing this and he was already fully independent. One of the nice, nice things about him being diagnosed older is that he's, he was fully independent from the beginning. You know, we had to learn how to give him shots and were in the hospital, but he always did all his own shots. And now he's on a pump. And he, you know, he he's completely independent. Yeah,

Scott Benner 28:14
yeah, I am. I want to ask you something. I feel like you can't answer. But because if you can't, you're fine. But is there ever I always felt like there were things in our 504 plan. They were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do that. And then they just never did. And it was little stuff like, you know, I was like, I want the bus driver trained. And for years, they'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then one year, it actually happened. And I noticed the year that it actually happened looked a lot different than the years they told me it was happening. But I think to your point, the school looks and says, We can't get this accomplished. Even like the guy that drives the bus works for a third party company. I think that was the holdup. I think it took them years to talk to the bus company into allowing one of their employees to come to the school for a training session. And is that the kind of like, is that most of the time? What the What the? I guess the trip ups are? Is that you? You don't have the ability or the staff or?

Molly 29:17
Yep, yeah, we don't have the ability or the staff or the money. You know, I'll say I originally went into my son's five before asking for the bus driver to be I don't I don't even think I use the word train. Like I just wanted the bus driver to be aware. You know, like if if he came across Jack passed out on the bus that maybe he you know, have an idea of why and and he my son has a his best ride is almost an hour both ways. So you know, there's there's a good chance something could happen on the bus. And they told me no and I didn't push back on that. And I do know it's because exactly what you're saying. They have The school district doesn't have any control over that driver. They don't train the driver, they don't employ the driver. You know, right now we have school bus driver shortages. We're lucky to have a driver. And it just I think, I think that they couldn't imagine a system where they could uphold that.

Scott Benner 30:21
Yeah. So then once you say yes to it, now you're bound to it. Right. So,

Molly 30:27
and bound to it in the in the, in the sense that just like you said, are there some years where not everything in the five before is happening? I would say that certainly could happen. And that's when parents need to advocate.

Scott Benner 30:41
Yeah, right. And how do you do that best? So when you? You know, listen, sometimes you're in a situation where people just aren't being helpful. Sometimes the parents are unreasonable, but but in a, in an apples to apples situation where, you know, everybody's doing their best, and it's not working out? How do you handle that? Like, what's the best way to approach you, I guess,

Molly 31:03
calmly without freaking out. I mean, for everything, I mean, it just general basic life rules, right, realize that everybody's trying to do their best and, and try and bring everybody together. I think that's, that's a big one. And, you know, I think it's interesting, you know, and you talk about an acknowledge, like Juicebox Podcast listeners are, you know, they're their top tier people, I think, you know, they, they understand and are really engaged in, in their own care or their kids care. And I always find it interesting that it's widely acknowledged that there are some uneducated endocrinologists, right and, and you kind of have to advocate for yourself with your Endo, and find the right person. But then I hear people when it comes to school, like they expect the school nurse to be the be all end all and know everything about type one. And they're a school nurse, you know, they had probably, I don't know, a week of diabetes training when they were in school, which could have been 2030 years ago, you know, and they're managing, I've got 350 kids at my school, and, you know, not to mention COVID, but even before COVID, there's, there are a lot of medical needs in the school. And so to expect your school nurse to, to be able to manage or to know everything that is going on in the type one space, like, like we as parents do. And there's really involved parents, and it's just totally unrealistic. So approaching, you know, an issue or your advocacy advocacy with, with that in mind that, that we're trying to do our best. And we've, we've got a lot of things on our plate. And, you know, your child is one student in our school with significant needs that we need to meet, but that, that we're trying our best, and we don't know what you know, and we don't know why you're asking us to do what we do. You know, I'm really anxious now, for I haven't had, as principal, I haven't had a type one student in my building, yet. I had one. When we were in COVID. During COVID, we were not in person. And so but I'm excited now to be able to say to a parent, like, No, I get it. Yeah, I know what you want. And let's work together and make this happen. You're making me

Scott Benner 33:41
think that like there's, you know, people have a job description. And the what you might want from them might not be their job description. So you might trip into an administrator or a nurse who's willing to go the extra mile or comfortable going the extra mile. And the you may meet some who aren't, for whatever reason, maybe they just don't have the bandwidth. Or maybe they don't, maybe they're like doing you a favor. And maybe they're like, Look, you don't want me involved in this. I'm the wrong person for this, I can do the job, but I can't do this extra stuff, or I don't have the time, or I just don't want to and it's not my job description, like whoever you run into. I think the only chance you have is to start having more private personal conversations with them and just hoping that you can come to some sort of like a human agreement, I guess, and see if you can't get them to be in love. I've always been kind of amazed at the number of people who would not be willing to be a glucagon advocate, for example. Hmm, lots and lots of teachers were like, No, I won't do that. I won't do that.

Molly 34:44
Yeah, and I will say as a as a teacher, when I had type one students in my class and we were going on a field trip and I taught fifth grade. Mostly, I think that I had two type one students that I can Think of, and we'd go on a field trip. And I think maybe one time the nurse went with us, but then another time, she didn't. And so I carried the glucagon. And I remember going through the training. And it was super overwhelming. I mean, a field trip is a super chaotic day for a teacher, and you've got, you know, 25 kids, and they're all amped up. And, and you have a variety of needs between those kids. And then you have a student who you're being told, you know, could die if you don't give them this, and you have to mix this and put it, it's super overwhelming. And there are definitely teachers that said, No, I'm not comfortable with that. And, and I get it, I understand why they would say that. It's, it's overwhelming, and you just don't know enough. And you have so many details in your head. You know, I wish I knew what numbers to be looking for. I remember like that day of the field trip. But if you asked me a week later, like what the normal range should be, or what numbers I'm looking for, I wouldn't have known. And this was before Dexcom, you know, so we weren't getting tons of data. They were supposed to do a fingerprint, and then tell me what their number was. And I had to have a little cheat sheet. And again, yeah, like a week later, I wouldn't have known

Scott Benner 36:15
Yeah, no, I understand. I mean, I do understand, I also understand when people are in that position, usually for the first time or so their kids are more newly diagnosed, they're already freaking out, they sort of don't know, either. I think that's an important piece, too, is that when you're a new parent, you're going off of the information that was given to you, which, you know, we talked about in the podcast, a lot might not have been rock solid to begin with. And now you're trying to make sense of spotty information, and then pass it on to somebody else who's probably like, either, like, I don't understand what you're saying, because I don't know anything about diabetes, or you're saying some stuff I don't think is right. And you think Well, no, it's gotta be right, I got it from the doctor. You know, but how many people come on the podcast and say, my doctor never told me to Pre-Bolus my doctor never told me fat would make my blood sugar stay high because of slow digestion, like, you know, hear all the things people have never said. Or, you know, even said to people incorrectly, so you can see where the game of telephone could get messed up pretty easily.

Molly 37:15
Oh, definitely. And that's it. I mean, even all the more reason to come in, calmly, and with, you know, with the attitude of, let's work together to figure this out. And let's build this relationship so that it can turn into something where, you know, I'm comfortable calling you and asking you to change this or do this. And, and same thing, on my end, I'm comfortable calling you and saying, Hey, we had this happen today. How should we fix this? And when people come come to me with that attitude, then it's just so much easier for me to work with people and help them get what they want. Versus the parents that come in and say, you know, you violated my 504. And I'm going to sue you and my lawyer is gonna be contacting you later today. Yeah, you know, it's like, when people do that, and I, and I understand why, and you're totally right. At the beginning, when you're first diagnosed, it's super overwhelming, and you want the best for your kid, and then that's where you're at. But when some when a parent calls me that way, then I have to react differently, right? Well, I have to be, you know, takes me probably five times as long to compose the email because I have to double check every word and I have to have somebody else read it. And I probably have to call the district office and, and double check to make sure. Versus if you just call me and say, Hey, this is going on. What do you think I can have a casual conversation, we can probably problem solve something right there.

Scott Benner 38:41
Aside of diabetes, aside of diabetes, even I've had a number of conversations with teachers over the year where I started to go, Listen, I'm not trying to cause a problem. I know your job is hard. You know, I know it's tough to, you know, some of the parents in this town are difficult. Like, that's not my goal here. I don't I'm not trying to be right. I'm just trying to make things okay for my kid. And can we work on this together? Because I think the first time I have a little nutty, you're gonna remember that. And then forever and ever, that I'm the guy that came in there and, like, seemed unhinged, and you're always gonna remember that about me. So I tried.

Molly 39:21
Unfortunately, that's yeah, I try and give everybody the benefit of the doubt. But yeah, you do remember that?

Scott Benner 39:28
Yeah, here's the lady that threw the papers across the floor. I just gonna stand here and smile and try to get through this. You just you lose your I don't know. I think you lose the ability to have a human interaction at that point. And you've now turned it into something like you said, like you have been an aggressor in the past or on reasonable and now you have to start running things past lawyers and you know, talking very carefully and it's just, I don't know, I you know, one time I think we were setting up I think it was back when Dexcom was first around. And we were setting up art and being able to have her Dexcom receiver on her desk during state mandated testing. And we were making, making our way through it. And it was going, okay. And the superintendent called my house to talk it over. And I promise you, Molly, I don't remember the context at all. But within 10 minutes, he and I were screaming and cursing at each other. And we knew each other, like, he's a person who lived in town, you know what I mean, and by the way, a lovely man. And, and we yelled at each other, like, we were about to have a bar fight. And then we stopped. And he went, I'm sorry. And I said, Me, too. I apologize. And then we just kept going. And later I said to my wife, I know this might not be the right thing to say, but I was like, only two guys could do something like that. We were just like, I mean, Bali, I swear to God, he was he was cursing at me more than I was cursing.

Molly 41:05
Well, I will say that brings up an interesting point, like with state testing. And and you asked about the template that we use, I will say that the verbiage that we use that we typically use in five oh fours, and the verbiage that comes with state testing guidelines, has not kept pace with diabetes technology. And so there's a real disconnect there. And as an educator, whether it's a teacher, or a principal or a building test coordinator, I can lose my license if I violate a state testing guideline. And so I can see where that you know, a dispute or a disagreement over an electronic device and the testing environment.

Scott Benner 41:48
And we were breaking totally go through the roof. We were totally breaking new ground, I was pressing the state, like the state was like, we can't do this. And I was like, oh, no, you can and we're gonna figure it out together. And you know, when it was all over, the then principal of the school, she moved on, but she pulled me aside afterwards, she said, You know, I really have to thank you for going through this, because now it's so much easier for us to do this with all the other kids. She's like, well, you needed one person to just make an issue of it point out a way that it could be handled. And she said the biggest piece ended up being the education part, meaning meaning me reasonably explaining to the person from the state why this was necessary. Exactly, you know, and they probably didn't,

Molly 42:37
that's where people just don't know. And, you know, the 504 coordinator is, sometimes it's a principle, sometimes it's a school counselor, we have no medical background. And so just coming in with that calm attitude, and be able being able to explain, you know, why you why you want something in the 504, I had to explain to the counselor at my son's High School about, you know, I wanted something about being able to test, I can't remember the exact wording we use, but basically, like if he's showing up for a high stakes test, and he's super high, I want him to be able to take that at a different time, because that affects him cognitively. And they didn't know that, you know, they didn't really know that there were the or the extent of the cognitive impairments of higher low blood sugar, right. And, you know, my son's a really bright kid, and he's, he's going to do well on this test. And I don't want his diabetes to impact that in any way. So taking the time to explain that to the counselor like, no, here's why I'm not just saying like, he woke up and he has a bad day. So he gets a do over. Like his medical condition could be impairing his ability to show his best effort on this assessment, one of

Scott Benner 43:59
the problems is that there are people who would use it to gain advantage. And so that there are Yeah, there are any having to defend against that, then. Yep,

Molly 44:08
yep, there are. And I will say that the one thing to do, of course, you know, most people, I think, at this point in their final fours, if their kids are on, you know, Dexcom or whatever, have the phone as an accommodation. And I will say that, I would bet that 95% of kids at some point in school, misuse their phone, and my son has done it, I know he's done it, where he pulls out his phone, you know, to, quote check his number, and then he's distracted like kids don't have the ability to not get sucked into their device. And, and that's where I think parents sometimes have a hard time understanding. You know, every every parent thinks that their kid is always You know, perfect angel in school or most parents?

Scott Benner 45:04
Their kids are little apples, right?

Molly 45:06
Well, thanks. They do things that you wouldn't expect, like your perfect diabetic Angel actually does scroll through their phone at times. You know what, they're not just checking their number. And I have gotten to Jack's teachers and said, Okay, here's the deal. If he's checking his number, he pulls out his phone, he looks at it, and he puts it away. There is no scrolling in the Dexcom app. If he's scrolling. He's, he's not using it for what it needs to be used for. And you can tell him to put it away. And, you know, I've told him that, for me, the phone is a privilege, like, yes, it makes it a lot easier to check. You don't have to pull your pump out. You know, he's on a tandem. You know, he could, he doesn't have to have his phone there. He could look at his pump to read his Dexcom. Right. So I'm allowing him the convenience of having his phone, but he has to try and manage that. Yeah. And not be a pain in the butt first teacher.

Scott Benner 46:06
If you're gonna stick all your text make sure nobody sees. That's right. That's what I was gonna I was gonna roll through Arden's 504 with you a little bit. So we haven't broken down into little, by the way, I have to just tell you first the word accommodations was misspelled on this document, not not typed by me. And I will tell you that I don't think I live in a in a dingy place, you know, where you expect the schools to not be on par. But I have never been emailed. So many misspellings, and writings that don't make sense as I have while my children are in school. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. The amount of times that you get like you learn to not even look at the first email, because the second email was going to apologize for what they didn't do in the first email first certain. And it was just, I don't know, it didn't fill you with a ton of hope. In case you're wondering. Anyway, with that memory in my head, I pulled this document up. And in two seconds, I thought, yeah, I really think there's two M's and accommodations. And so anyway, so we had it broken down into personal right, it was sort of like all the staff will be trained. The nurse has to designate a person, it actually says the nurse shall designate in constitution with a board of education employees of the school district who volunteer to administer glucagon. So there's a there's a passage there, they eventually would find people. The teachers are trained to recognize type one, emergency indicators, and look during large group portions of the day, including recess assemblies, etc. It describes that Arden is going to be carrying a bag or a purse, and it tells what's in it, it tells you what to do in the event of a hypoglycemic event. And it actually walks through, like give her a juice, then do this, if she's not compliant. And drinking the juice, you're allowed to do this or be more forceful with this. It actually says in here, this goes back aways it says district personnel have a parent's permission to restrain Arden, if she becomes combative during the application of a glucose gel. And we put that in there so that they wouldn't feel like out. She flipped around twice. We'll wait for 911 like we were trying to think through everything that might happen. And of course, none of this ever happened. But if Arden becomes unconscious before, after the juice, the nurse will you know, and then in steps do the glucagon here's how call 911 Call the parents, you know, etc. Like it all kind of broke down that way. We added later in time to the glucose testing and insulin dosing section that Arden cellphone is considered a medical device. That is such a big one now. Yeah, you know, it's permitted to be with her at all times. Her proximity to her phone is crucial. Because some teachers in high school, remember the thing where they just used like, they'd hang a shoe tree up. Yeah. And maybe like everybody put your phone in there and go sit down. You know, Arden had to make her wait for that, to be honest. We're going to a concert, a comedy concert in a couple of days. And we had to call the venue yesterday and say, Listen, you know, it says that you're going to take our phones and lock them in bags. You can't do that. Like you know how bow but you don't start with you can't do that you start with here's our situation, is there a workaround for this? And they say, oh, yeah, sure, do this, you know, but I found it's very um it's, um, it's always interested in May, right? Like, you're working for somebody right now, Molly, right. If I come in and I start questioning the rules, I'm not questioning you. But it is hard not to feel that way if you're you so So a lot of times employees will start defending the institution as if the institution is themselves, which is why you call the comedy venue and say, Hey, here's something we have going on, can you please tell me what to do about it, not start telling them what to do, because they're like, it's not your job. It's easy to get kind of like, I guess the bras go up against people.

Molly 50:20
Anyway. Yeah. And I think, you know, I was just listening, you just put up an episode with a teacher, mom. And she was talking about that, that I think, as parents, you know, we get used to having to fight for things. You know, I think of insurance companies, I would say, if I didn't have to work, maybe I would just spend my time fighting with insurance companies and trying to make a change there. Because that's, to me, the most frustrating piece of the whole diabetes spaces is health insurance, but we're just kind of programmed that we're gonna have to fight for our kids and fight for what they need. And every little thing, like, you just want to go to a concert, or you just want to go to do this. But you're gonna have to make the phone call and explain the situation and, and we're just kind of programmed to do that. It's just, it's just the way you go about doing it. And again, when you're calling the venue, you know, that person answering the phone doesn't know about type one, they don't they have no idea that your phone is your, you know, your link to your glucose monitor.

Scott Benner 51:23
It sounds insane. If you don't know what it sounds like, is you want to keep your phone so you can record this concert for an excuse to why to do it. Ya know, it's the whole thing is communication. I don't like Mali, I don't want to give it away. But most of life is communication. So yeah. You know, it's funny, we have one in here, really interesting. And it's something we figured out a couple of years in, that they'll do their best in conjunction with the Transportation Director to make the bus route beneficial to Arden. And that was a thing where she used to get picked up first in the morning, and then in the afternoon was dropped off last. So it was always maximizing the amount of time she was on the bus. So one time we explained to him like, listen, here's what could happen. I think if you minimize the time she's on the bus, everybody be happier. And they came back a couple of days later, they said, Hey, we were able to rework the bus route. And now Arden gets picked up. Like she was like picked up three from last before getting to the school and dropped off. Again, three from you know, she was the third drop off. And it wasn't fun for anybody. And I don't think the person who had to rework the route was thrilled. But they figured it out. And you know, and it ended up being I thought beneficial to everybody. And I did point out how it would benefit them as well. Which is a is a big point of all this because when we went to texting, the school didn't really like that idea at first. And the way I sold it to them was like, Look, if I'm texting with her, and she and I are making decisions together, I really think there's no legal, like, legally, we made the decision. Like, it kind of gets you off the hook. And at that idea they lit up about. Yeah, and I kind of like since it didn't happen to you. I want you to if you're comfortable to talk a little bit about how exciting that must have been for them when I said, Look, you know, let's get you off the hook here on these insulin decisions. Do you think they were thrilled when they heard that?

Molly 53:25
Oh, sure. I mean, I mean, we have people threatening to sue us every day. So so I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a consideration. Yeah. So yeah, definitely. No, no. And I totally agree. I mean, and that's again, where the education, taking the time to explain how you're managing and how this is going to make it easier for the school. Not to mention less liability, but just easier. Because your indirect communication. Yeah, you need to explain how that works. I felt like 504 for Arden is interesting because it's it's definitely more on the medical side than then I would have in my school or in our district. I think just because we do have that diabetes care plan as a separate piece, so. So like my son's 504 In high school has a lot less medical and more about what he's able to do in the classroom. My big thing was, I don't want them leaving the classroom. Right. You know, there's a lot of content. I know you had mentioned one time about, you're worried about Arden's math, and then it was just that she was going to the nurse every day at that time. Yeah. And and that's a big thing. We talked about, you know, engagement in the classroom and, and that's, that's key. And so if you're leaving the room every hour, or even if it's just a couple times a day, that's that's missed instruction. And so for me, I want for my own child and for my students in my school I want every student in the classroom all the time. Yeah. If that means the nurse comes down or if, you know if kids on the Dexcom and the nurse can follow. I just I just want kids in classrooms.

Scott Benner 55:14
No, I mean, it was it happened in second grade. And it's so impacted her. It stayed with her for years, it took her years to rebound from that, from basically not being at the math, the math direction part of the day, every day, she'd she'd see a couple of minutes of it, then miss the middle chunk, and then come back when it was time to do the work. And she was significantly behind, like to the point I've said it on here before where she thought she thought she was just not adept at all. And I mean, there were times where we were like, well, at least we won't have to pay for college. You know, like because she's she seemed really dopey you know about that. And, and it turned out she just wasn't getting the direction. Yeah, you know that people underestimate

Molly 55:57
the impact of missed time. Yeah, because there was a missed instruction. We have, you know, the kids that come 15 minutes late every day, like while you add that up, they're missing days upon days of of instruction. And yeah, they're not reading well, because we do phonics first thing, and they're missing that, you know, and that's exactly the impact. Yeah,

Scott Benner 56:19
no, it's exactly what ended up happening. And she rebounded from it. Luckily, I guess. But it was hard for and nobody knew what happened, right? Like, no, like, we weren't there. Like how would I know they do the exact same thing at the exact same time every day? Like I didn't, it stands to reason now that you say it, but at the time, they were in second grade, like in my mind, they're just like, they're just like little ferrets running around in a cage. And every once in a while, you get them to look at you and you say letters at them. And then they run around again, like I didn't know what they were doing, you know. But But I think that's a big deal. Like not missing class time. But I was going to tell you like your 504 plan is is a pretty complete document. We used to do an IEP, I think they call them IEPs. individualized, something plan. Yeah. Education Plan. Yeah. And we just at one point, I was like, can we just leave this on this document, and they were like, sure, and we just sort of left it there. Because then there's a breakdown of how to handle snacks and meals for Arden. And it's little stuff like Arden gets to finish her lunch. You know, she eats at the same time every day, if there's an unforeseen change in the schedule, you tell us as soon as possible. Like that kind of stuff, you know, she has unfettered access to the bathroom, you know, stuff about environment around her like, you know that she's going to have to have access to her bag, you know, to her CGM. At that time to her on the pod controller, glucose, food etc. We double down on the cell phone, it's mentioned twice in there so that it can't be lost. And then testing which you brought up. You know, we we started to put a plan into place when she was younger, where when a test would start, she would write her blood sugar on the top corner of the test. And if the test came back differently than you would expect for Arden's you know understanding of the material, you could point to that and say hey, your blood sugar was pretty high can we do it again? And the truth is it never really came to fruition because it soon after we put it in I guess soon after we put it in index calm became really like a viable part of how we managed her blood sugar's just didn't get that high that frequently. And so it became but I still think it's a great idea for people just getting I

Molly 58:39
think, I think that a 504 Just in general in an IEP. It's just like the insurance policy for parents, right. I want it to have everything in there just in case and and hopefully you never have to deal with with something like that. You know, I hope that my son never shows up for a test and he's high and we have to think about should he should he redo it or, or any of that. But if it happens, I want something in that document that says we have the right to do this at a different time.

Scott Benner 59:11
Yeah, right. We can we can just call do over and do it again. She had during her art it took her SATs in a room privately with a teacher that she knew. And there was a time where I texted so the way we had it set up actually I can read it to you that I can tell you that it says allow for medical induced breaks if art needs to check her blood sugar per that and then that's all we asked for. And then the state testing coordinator added that art and cell phone may be on and present in the testing site but must be in the Proctor's possession. So the way we handle that was art and would give the phone to the teacher and say, Look, if there's a problem, my dad's watching, he'll text this phone, you can answer the text and then like decide what to do next. So we did that that way. That worked fine. It says they all the tests, excuse me, the state also added during a medically induced break art and may be given her testing materials too. So Arden has to give her testing materials to the proctor to hold. Then she can text about her blood sugar information to a parent. The proctor will look over our shoulder as she texts to ensure only medical information is being shared. Yeah, and the state also added if Arden needs to share medical information via her cell phone either due to an incoming text prompting her to do so not feeling well, or monitoring alerts, she must close her test booklet and answer sheet move away from the desk and retrieve her cell phone from the proctor again, the proctor will watch over our shoulder. So clearly what the state is worried about is cheating or taking pictures of the test. Yes, that's what they're worried about. Right? Because there are people who sell like they get a whole picture. So those tests and you sell them? Oh, yeah. Right. Because that's the business. Yeah, it's great because your kids not gonna get to college and then still be the same dummy that couldn't do well on the you know what I mean? Like, what's the point? Exactly, I got into a better school. Now, I don't understand what's happening here. So anyway, I mean, unless I could lead could Photoshop me in like a rowboat right or something like that, then I could just get any college I want. But, but um, this worked really well. And if I'm being honest and Arden's out of school. Now, I don't want to out anybody. If you asked Arden, if anybody ever looked over her shoulder while she was texting about our blood sugar? She would tell you, they probably did it, because it's a very human thing once you're in the room and the door is closed.

Molly 1:01:32
Right? Yeah. Right. But again, it's it's in place, and all those safeguards are in place. And so everybody can feel good about it and sign off on the plan and know that the integrity of the test is secure, and that she's going to be safe. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. I have some similar statements in my son's 504 for testing, but he, you know, kind of goes along with, he just doesn't really want to make diabetes, a topic at all, he doesn't, he doesn't want to be in that separate room. He wants to be in the same room with everybody else. So I had to work with the counselor to say what, you know, what can we provide in the same room? Yeah. So we know, the big one is usually just food and drink, like I just want him to have, you know, he doesn't. Like I said, he doesn't need his phone. But that's partly because he's on a tandem pump. And so he can look at the pump. Yeah. And I had, but I had to clarify with them that the pump is not an electronic device, because you know, the rules say no electronic devices. The pump is a medical device that has electronics. And if he's looking at it, it looks like this. And this is what he's going to do. There's no, you know, it's not connected to the internet. He can't take a picture with it. But we had to go through all of that to make sure that they were going to feel comfortable having him in, you know, the general ed setting, right? Because it was important to him. He doesn't he doesn't want to feel like he has to go to this special room.

Scott Benner 1:03:04
Arden went back and forth on that show, there were times where she's like, I just want to stay in my room. And we've done that. And there are times where she's like, Hey, they set me up with a proctor. And I was like, Oh, they're not supposed to do that. And she's like, I don't care. And that was it. Just like, I'll never forget the time it happened. She's like, you know, she texted me. She goes, I just took a test with a proctor. I thought that wasn't supposed to happen. I said, it's not. I said, Do you want me to fix it? She goes, No, you know, it was nice. And I said, Okay, that's nice and quiet. Nobody was talking, I got in and I got out. Plus, like little things like, you know, once you finish this part of the tasks, you're supposed to wait till the next time to start. And and the teacher would inevitably go, Hey, listen, if you want to start now it's good with me. Can we get out of here? And I'd be like, Yeah, sure. Let's go. And so you know, again, it's funny, isn't it? We write it down so that you said it earlier, so everybody can feel comfortable. But then we all just coach whatever the hell we want to do anyway. Yeah.

Molly 1:04:00
Well, and it's important for me to know, like, even though Jack wants to downplay his diabetes right now, I just want him to understand that he will have to advocate for himself, you know, and you do it before the fact you know, you don't do it. When you get your test scores back and you bombed it because you were, you know, high the whole time or whatever. You make sure that that people understand the situation beforehand, on the off chance that that you might need to call called out into play. We've always

Scott Benner 1:04:32
been very careful not to use diabetes as an excuse, or to even have the appearance of using it as an excuse. And we did a really I'll tell you, we were really just like boyscout honest about it the entire time. Like the last I think the last two weeks of Arden senior year, she had she just I don't know pretty she got behind on something. She was up late working on something and she says to me in the morning, can you just call and say my blood sugar's low. And I said, she goes just one time. I don't want to go in. And I was like, Yeah, all right, whatever. So, and she was only late like she was late. And it was one of the I don't know if people like get this. But in Arden's senior year, the last couple of weeks, they were just, I don't even understand you guys sometimes what? Maybe it doesn't happen at your school. But what passes for instruction. Sometimes she's like, well, we're just sitting in the common area, because that was the weirdest thing I've brought up on the podcast recently. But the weirdest thing that changed from when I was in school to when she was in school, if your teacher calls out sick, you just don't have class that day.

Molly 1:05:42
Yeah, I heard you say that, that. That doesn't happen in our district. But I can only imagine that it's because there's a shortage of subs. I mean, I had a lot of days during COVID That I could, there was no sub available, right? But I'm Elementary School. I can't tell kids to just go to the comments and entertain themselves

Scott Benner 1:06:02
make talks because I think that's what happened. No,

Molly 1:06:06
I have to provide an adult, they might not be getting the instruction. They'd be getting in there with their regular teacher, but you know, they are supervised and they're doing something.

Scott Benner 1:06:17
Well, I'm sure there was an adult with them, but I'm making air quotes. She just like she'd come home. She'd be like, hey, check out these pictures. And I'm like, what was there a dance party? She goes, Hey, this was during, you know, English, the guy didn't show up. And there's 40 kids there. And they're just like voguing and like, I don't know what they're doing. You don't even like, Okay, I was like, well, good luck in life. Yeah, I hope you understand English. Anyway, did you? I'm so sorry. Because we're like talking for an hour already. And I has this gone any way that you considered? Or did we not cover things that you wanted to talk about? I

Molly 1:06:56
want to make sure I know, I think it's, it's gone? Fine. I, like I said, I just I hope I can provide something that's useful for people and dealing with their schools. And yeah, I hope I've done that.

Scott Benner 1:07:10
So come to them. So come ahead of time. Right. Be don't yell. seems like an obvious so I'm very Reasonable. Reasonable can even be angry, just reasonably angry, please. Sure.

Molly 1:07:24
I mean, I think one thing I've learned as a principal is that, you know, I get I get complaints all the time, you know, people have issues with what's going on. And, and usually, it has not a lot to do with, with what people are actually complaining about, you know, usually it's, it's something else that you're frustrated about, or, but but we're dealing with people's kids and, you know, people send us their very best product. You know, nobody's purposely not trying to do the best for their kids, including us on the school side, you know, we are, we are trying to do the best for your child and and every other student in the school. And, you know, with diabetes, I think as parents, we can sometimes put our blinders up. And because there are life and death situations. And

Scott Benner 1:08:15
where you say, Well, is there a time though, when you go, Look, I don't care about reasonable, I don't care what you have the ability to do? Like there are some things like this has to happen. And those things, they do end up happening, right?

Molly 1:08:27
Yes, yes, I think for the most part, you know, I think the part where maybe, maybe you and I would disagree is the extent of the tight control that we can have now, because of the technology. You know, at what point is that still reasonable that that your that your child has, has the same control every minute of the school day that they would have if they were at home with you every minute, right?

Scott Benner 1:09:03
Well, that's why the texting, I think texting is the unsung hero of diabetes, kids. And you know, because you can take other steps out, you can remove people who don't really know what they're doing to begin with, or don't have the time, you know, even if they didn't know. And I think that direct communication also allows insulin to be used more effectively to because you're not saying not waiting for a beep and then walking into a room and then waiting in line behind three kids with bruised knees and don't eat meat and then find right bolusing for your meal or whatever. Right Yeah, I but I see both sides like I really do like I I love that you're presenting your side of it. And I also think that it is not unreasonable for a person to want their kid to be healthy or for a newer diagnosed family who really doesn't know what they're doing to just be like, frazzled, get right and everything and everything seems out of control. Roll. It's interesting, though, isn't it that I guess there's not enough kids? I guess, thankfully, in places where people just know where there's a system where they're like, Oh, no diabetes, sure that happens here all the time, or even with the state like that. You don't you don't have to explain to the state, this is an insulin pump. It's not a you know, it's not a handheld, you know, gaming system. Like, your son can't be the first person to take an SAP and, you know, in Alaska with an insulin pump on, right, like how right

Molly 1:10:28
I just think it's just changing so fast. And everybody's different, right? I mean, I don't feel I mean, I guess I have been teaching a while. But, you know, when I had students in my classroom, the technology was totally different. Right? You know, and then and even now, it's changing fast. And it depends on what system you're using, you know, if you're, you know, tandems different than Omnipod are different than emanate MDI, en, and what you need is going to be different based on that. So it's so individualized and how people manage and and how parents manage versus how much kids manage and at what age there's just so many variables that it's it's unreasonable I think for for school officials who aren't medical professionals to have any idea about what what you want as a parent, or how best to manage your child because it's all individual.

Scott Benner 1:11:23
Molly over under, let's set the number at 10. How many day drinking parents have you had to deal with in your career? Over Under 10?

Molly 1:11:33
Over Under 10 individuals over 10?

Scott Benner 1:11:38
Oh, definitely. I'm here to give Billy his lunch. It's a bottle of vodka Do you want to do? Was there another bag in the car? Did you want to get the other bag? I just I don't know.

Molly 1:11:52
We we see lots of things in school, I would say the one thing that maybe parents don't realize in elementary school is is how much their their little kids talk. And you know, everybody, you know, if you're six, whatever happens in your house, you think that happens in everybody's house. And so you just talk about it as if it's, you know, a typical everyday thing. So,

Scott Benner 1:12:17
you know, all the dirt like the infidelity and the town and like everything, it comes to the kids, right?

Molly 1:12:22
They I mean, they just tell you, in the same way that your child might say I had Cheerios for breakfast, somebody else's child may say something, you know?

Scott Benner 1:12:33
My, my neighbor comes over on Wednesday nights and my dad goes to their house. Really? That happens. Okay.

Molly 1:12:41
So let's just say whatever whatever happens.

Scott Benner 1:12:45
I feel like you have a book. I feel like every teacher has a book in them of just things that they've seen or heard. Oh, I'm

Molly 1:12:51
sure they could. There weren't, you know, last potentialities.

Scott Benner 1:12:56
They rattled each other these kids to in there just the openness. Like you learn about the other kids through kids, the way you learn about like home stuff, is it? Oh, yeah.

Molly 1:13:06
Well, and I always tell, you know, if I'm dealing with discipline issues, and I have to call a parent, I can't name you know, other students that were involved. But I usually just tell them, I said, just ask your child what happened? They'll they'll give you lots more details than I can I have to tell you, they'll tell you exactly who said what, I have a

Scott Benner 1:13:27
completely different in the age of the internet feeling for what teachers must go through. When more recently I saw an educator educators like physical appearance attacked on a public Facebook page by a parent who had just, I guess, been frustrated, and decided that, you know, they were gonna vent like a five year old online, and then started attacking the guy personally. And I was like, what is happening? Like,

Molly 1:13:56
yeah, that would be my other piece of advice is come talk to your school first before you post things online.

Scott Benner 1:14:04
You don't think go into your the Facebook page is the way to take care of it. I've seen so many reasonable things worked out that way though.

Molly 1:14:11
Right? I know it always it always de escalates.

Scott Benner 1:14:15
Fine, absolutely fine. My wife says to me the other day, it doesn't matter what side of the perspective is on she goes. There's the woman in town explaining January 6 to everybody in the Facebook group for the town right now. And I was like, What's that now? And and she's like, Yeah, she's she's explaining all of her theories and things she knows for sure. And blah, blah. And I was like, and this person if you met them, like, like, and you bumped into them, you think like this normal person. And by the way, I didn't say I don't mean that her opinions were abnormal. I mean, the idea that she felt compelled to like, go on Facebook and explain it to everybody, right my mind. And then when something happens at this or, and someone else agrees that Oh, this one isn't good or this one is like that, then it just turns into a free for all. Yes, fascinating. Anyway, I don't know. It lowers my expectations for adults when I see that stuff. It's really, it really does. And if you're listening right now, you've done some of that. Stop yourself. I mean, honestly,

Molly 1:15:23
just I mean, like you said, it's just communication, just talk, talk to the people

Scott Benner 1:15:27
directly step away, step away. It's okay. Just just go take a break somewhere before you start bad mouthing a guy who makes $45,000 on the internet for what he looks like, just like, how about he's trying to get an amen. And you don't know his life. But anyway, Molly, this was terrific. I appreciate you doing this very much. Well, thanks for having me. Yeah, of course. And we didn't make fun of Alaska at all. Almost.

Molly 1:15:50
I know. There weren't I thought for sure. Yeah. You know,

Scott Benner 1:15:53
Yeah, but you're not more on there. You bring a you bring a different like you have an East Coast feeling to you.

Molly 1:15:58
Oh, an East Coast. Wow. I grew up on the West Coast. You really interesting. I don't know if that's a compliment.

Scott Benner 1:16:04
I feel like you're like a no bullshit person, Molly.

Molly 1:16:07
Oh, well, I would. Yeah, I would maybe describe myself that way. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:16:11
Yeah, that's just what I mean. Like, I don't think there's a lot of room for shenanigans with you. Anyway, you probably have to go kill a beaver for dinner. So I'm gonna let you go. I know you don't live in a place where there are other people. Your kid is on that bus for an hour.

Molly 1:16:30
Yeah, we are. One of the we're kind of in a 45 minutes from the major city. So is that

Scott Benner 1:16:39
city where Santa lives like what are we?

Molly 1:16:43
Well, Anchorage is the largest city in Alaska. We are 45 minutes outside of Anchorage. So for a long time, the school in my town is a K through eight school. So my son had a like two minute commute to school and it was the school that I worked at. So that was super convenient. But the High School is in Anchorage. Alright, so for high school, he hasn't when your long bus ride when

Scott Benner 1:17:09
you grow up in Anchorage? What, what is it? Like if you want to stay local? What do you expect to do for work? Is just anything like Yeah,

Molly 1:17:19
I mean, I think anything you would do in a typical city, we have an anchorage. I mean, we have a lot of, I mean, in addition, I guess the Alaska specific things would be maybe, you know, resource development oil industry. There's a there's a lot of jobs in that sector.

Scott Benner 1:17:36
I just imagined canning or bartender like I don't have everything. It's that stupid TV shows. The only thing I've ever seen a fan of Lascaux. What does that?

Molly 1:17:46
Right? Yeah, I don't think well, there's all sorts of TV shows about Alaska. Now. We got the crabbing ones and the Alaska State Troopers and the survival.

Scott Benner 1:17:57
I met Northern Exposure.

Molly 1:17:59
Right. Yeah. Well, that's that's probably more realistic for a small town. I don't think that I think that show was you know, not for a big place like where you live but not Anchorage. Anchorage is a city like any other city and we have

Scott Benner 1:18:12
tell everybody a professional football team you have and the baseball and the hockey.

Molly 1:18:18
Well, we don't have any of them. I mean, we do have hockey, but a lot of people

Scott Benner 1:18:23
that's walking Molly You can't count on people have to go from place to place on ice skates. A

Molly 1:18:30
lot of people go to Seattle or things that you know, other places for their professional sports for $20.

Scott Benner 1:18:36
I couldn't point to Atlanta to Anchorage right now. Like, if you just show me like, in fairness, I probably couldn't point to where I live either. But I have no idea where you're at. I mean, I know Alaska is like that like little like nubby thing at the top next to Canada.

Molly 1:18:53
Well, it's just you know, floating down. It's by Hawaii in that little box. Okay, I thought the west coast

Scott Benner 1:18:58
and you can see Russia from Alaska. I've heard Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. So that's what I know. It's all true. Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you very much. I do appreciate it. Hold on one second. Okay.

A huge thank you to Molly for coming on the show and sharing what she knows with us. I also want to thank us Med and remind you that you can get your free benefits check at us med.com forward slash juice box are by calling 888-721-1514 And of course our newest sponsor, better help better help.com forward slash juice box use that link to get 10% off your first month of therapy. I want to thank you so much for listening. remind you to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes with over 35,000 members in it. That's pretty budget I hope you have a good day I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast