#865 Go Marry Your Sister

Denise is the parent of a child living with type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 865 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I'm going to be speaking with Denise, she is the parent of a child with type one diabetes. And for the life of me, I'm not certain what this episode is about, but it was fun. So that's all I can tell you for now. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. If you have type one diabetes, or are the caregiver of someone with type one, and you're a US resident, you are perfect, because you can take the survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. This whole effort will take you fewer than 10 minutes and you're going to help type one research immensely. You're going to support the podcast and you're going to help yourself you'll find out more at T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Go fill out that survey. Don't forget to finish it. Finishing the survey is important. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash Juicebox. Podcast this episode of The Juicebox Podcast as to sponsors first sponsor, Omni pod five, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box automated insulin delivery with your Dexcom G six. All in that little tubeless thing I'm gonna do they call the on the pod five, you gotta go get it. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Then next, the next and the next. Don't forget, by doing by Benga. Boom, bye, Papa. I'm sorry, I'm looking for a link. The next sponsor of the podcast is us med now us med is where we get Ardens Dexcom G seven and Omni pods from you can too. They also have libre three other pump, they got stuff. I'll tell you about it later in the show us med.com forward slash juice box to get your free benefits check or you can call 888-721-1514. Get your diabetes supplies the way we do from us med.

Denise 2:36
So my name is Denise and I have a son who is nine years old. And he was diagnosed about a year and eight months ago with type one. At the time, he had an A one C of 16 and a blood sugar of 910. Which is just mind blowing to me still. And the funny thing is that at the time, we saw pediatrician the week prior for well baby on the base, actually. And I had mentioned my concerns to him. And of course he missed it just like every other pediatrician. Unfortunately, I don't want to give them a bad rap. But it seems like a lot of pediatricians don't seem to detect this early enough. And then kids end up in the ICUs.

Scott Benner 3:27
What What were your concerns that you went to the doctor with?

Denise 3:30
So he he was really thin. But he was also growing in height. But we were concerned because it just seemed like too much. And we would be eating dinner and finish up the meal and the minute we would like clean up the plates or whatever he was in the pantry grabbing snacks. And I actually was getting mad at him because I was like, Dude, we just ate and if you were that hunger, you should have had like seconds of the meal and not plan to go binge in a cabinet. You know. So I was like getting really mad at him, you know, and I feel terrible still thinking about that. You know, little did I know he was like wasting away. But at the time, I thought it was a growth spurt like every other parent. And obviously now when you look back on those pictures during that timeframe, he was like, Somalian style. Like I could see all his ribs. It was it was terrible. So

Scott Benner 4:27
when you saw it a little then you just didn't see it for what it was.

Denise 4:32
I feel like when you live with somebody, you don't Yeah, you don't see it to the degree that it actually is, like you said I knew he was thinner, but I also knew he was growing and so I was like well, he's stretching out so that's probably why he looks thinner. And you know he grew in height so I expect here soon he will also put on some weight, you know?

Scott Benner 4:55
No, I mean makes sense. How long do you think that was going on for?

Denise 4:58
I mean with Send a one C like that, I would guess a good chunk of time. I can tell you this, I knew something was wrong. My husband and I both did, we were both concerned about his weight. But it was also during the time of homeschooling. And so we also were nervous about his emotional like outbursts. But we attributed it to, you know, learning from home and his, his, he didn't really like it at all, so, but he would just sit there and cry about having to do homework and stuff. And we would get really frustrated because nobody liked it. But we expected he would do the work and kind of suck it up a little bit more, you know, but he would just like sit there and pout and cry and whatever. And we would get frustrated because we needed him to do what he needed to do for school because we had no alternative, you know. So we knew he was more emotional, we knew he was super thin. We knew he was eating a lot. And that was pretty much it. And when I took him to the pediatrician, told him he was really thin. And we were concerned, but that he had also grown in height and he he never even lifted up his shirt to see like and do a thorough assessment. So at the time, I just took his word for it. And I was like, okay, pediatrician says it's a growth spurt, we're good. So when I got home, I still was worried about it. And so I was, you know, investigating things. But the thing that really clued me into the fact that it was type one was that we so we were getting ready to move to Virginia because we're military and my husband needed to do training for us to move to Slovakia. So before we moved from Vegas, I was like, I'm gonna get everybody set up with all their health appointments. That way, when we get to Virginia, we're up to date. So we went to the pediatrician, and then shortly thereafter, we had eye doctor appointments for all three of the kids. We lived in Vegas, of course, it was really hot. But on the way to the eye doctor, my son was like, Mom, I'm so thirsty. Do you have water? And I was like, No, I actually forgot a water bottle. for you guys today, unfortunately, which I never did, you know? And he was like, Oh, I'm so thirsty. And I'm like, Ben, I have no water bottle. I'm gonna need you to kind of suck it up a little, you know. And so we drove to the eye doctor, and we were waiting. My son's appointment was like the second one. So my daughter was like, in the chair with the optometrist or whatever. And he was like, Mom, I'm so thirsty. Like, can you ask them? If they have water fountain or anything? So I'm like, Hey, I'm so sorry. Because I'm like, embarrassed about the urgency of this. Because we weren't going to be out long. I was like, you could be fine. It's not really that big of an issue. Made it longer without water, you know? So I asked them, I said, Do you guys have a water fountain or anything? And they said, No, and they gave me know your standard plastic bottle of water and he slurped that whole thing down and like one breath. One goal. And so I was like, wow, you were really thirsty, and I apologized. And so then everybody, you know, had their eye doctor appointment. And I was like, you know, while we're all in the car together, we should just go get breakfast because it was like, you know, it was like the middle of Coronavirus, but we had been locked up for so long. I was like, let's just go get some breakfast. It was like the first time we had gone out in Muncie. And so we sat down to breakfast. And you know, the kids all had those standard sized OJ cups, you know, like diner style. And he again, drank that and like one gold. And then the girls, my daughters still had some orange juice left. And he asked for theirs at the end of the meal and gold those down. And so then this is after the pediatrician appointment, I was told nothing was wrong. So you know, the whole time I was freaked out about this, trying to figure things out. But I do have a nursing background. I'm an RN, and I also have an occupational therapy license. So I had some medical knowledge. And I knew things were wrong. But of course, you live with someone and you're like, Oh, he's fine, but I know something's a little off. So at that point in time, I started getting into his medical records, you know, because the base you can access all of your electronic medical records. So I went through all that. And the funny thing was at Nellis Air Force Base, they were switching from one database to another. So it was like TRICARE online, switched over to MHS Genesis, which I know no one cares about. But they were like literally literally right in the transition of the two. And so what I think happened was that the provider didn't actually look at the growth charts because when I went in there, I noticed he was gaining and height but losing weight, which is not the normal trajectory of a you know, kiddo, and it's not what's supposed to happen they're supposed to gain weight and increase in height. So that to me I was like, Oh my gosh, something is seriously wrong. And then I put two and two together. And I was like, You know what, I'm just gonna go out and get a glucometer. Because these seem like symptoms of type one. So I told my son and my husband, I said, I'm going to Walgreens, I'm going to get a glucometer. It's just a little test, it was a weekend, and we live 45 minutes from the base so that I could get my masters out there in Vegas. I didn't want to drive all the way to the base, because I was like, if this is nothing, I'm wasting all of our time. And I'm going to feel like the biggest idiot. So I'll just take matters into my own hands, spend the 20 bucks, and then I'll have peace of mind as we go through this weekend. So I did that. And I took my own blood sugar first, so I could show my kid what it was about and that he'd be okay. And then I took his, and of course, it read high, which I think is already 600 plus. So I said to Ben, I said, Hey, I'm gonna need you to go pack your stuff. We're going to the hospital. And we're probably going to be there for a little bit. And I tried to explain in a kid friendly way, like what diabetes was and how I was 99.99% Positive. That was what was going on. And of course, he was like, super angry with me. Because as a seven year old, you're like, it's your fault you picked up on it. Like, if you hadn't figured this out, I wouldn't have ever had this disease. You know, that was kind of the approach he was taking with me just crying and screaming like the whole way to the hospital, which made me feel like the biggest piece of crap, you know, well, but I knew it wasn't my fault. You know,

Scott Benner 11:34
let me jump in for a second. So, I mean, you alluded earlier but didn't really like follow up on it. Like he was having a lot of outbursts and having a lot of trouble with his, with his composure, too, right. And so you thought that was because like, everybody was like, Oh, we're gonna lock these kids up and make them learn online. That's gonna make them crazy. And you were like, oh, what's happening to my kid? Great. That's what you thought. Right? Exactly. Yeah. All right. And so I mean, God, a 16. So seriously, I asked you this earlier, and you said a big chunk of time. But but think on this again? How many weeks or months Do you can you look back and see the skinniness? Or whatever? Like, how long do you think it's possible this was happening for?

Denise 12:18
I don't even know. I mean, and a one C measures the blood glucose over the last three months? So I don't know, probably like six to eight months prior, maybe I don't even know.

Scott Benner 12:32
Maybe it was okay. What about the outbursts stuff? How long was that going on? For before diagnosis? Pretty much

Denise 12:39
since the beginning of the kids learning from home.

Scott Benner 12:44
How much time is that?

Denise 12:48
It was probably like four months or so by that point.

Scott Benner 12:51
All right. I just wanted to try to put some sort of reference. Okay. I appreciate it. I know you're it's, and I'm racking my brain. Basically, what I'm saying to you is Hey, Denise, how long were you not noticing the kid was dying?

Denise 13:05
Yeah, but that's the funny thing is well, go ahead.

Scott Benner 13:11
No, no, no, that's not the point. Like, you know, I'm not I'm obviously not saying that. I just wanted to apply some context to it, because then they won't save 16 is huge. So when they get him in there. What's the process? And how long does it take them to start bringing his blood sugar down?

Denise 13:27
So I show up and I'm like, Oh, hey, by the way, no one was in the pediatric er at the time, which was awesome. But I was like, Hey, I'm a nurse. I bought a glucometer. I checked his blood sugar it read Hi. I know that he has type one. Or at least diabetes at the time, you know, but he's been and we have a healthy lifestyle. So I assumed it was type one. So anyway, and they took him back right away. And then they were really surprised that he was doing so well with a blood sugar and a one C So hi, he's

Scott Benner 14:06
a little closer, a little closer to the microphone. Okay,

Denise 14:09
better. Yep. Okay, so they were super surprised that he was functioning so well with such a high blood sugar and a one C, because most individuals with the same numbers are typically like in a coma or in an ICU, at least, you know. So at that point in time, they were telling me I was like, it's type one, right? And I'm assuming because in your head, you're, I know this is wrong, but in my head, I was like, well, we eat well, and we're not fat people. And I know that's really wrong. But that was like what I thought at the time, because you know, my dad had type two, he didn't take care of himself. He ended up dying really young. And so I know the trajectory of a lot of people with type two in general, I've seen the complications associated. I know that a lot of the people that do have type two tend to not actually manage your blood sugar appropriately and, and then they end up with tons of complications. So in my head, I was like, It's not tied to like, tell me it's not type two, I want to know that

Scott Benner 15:13
type two didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, so type two seems worse to you.

Denise 15:17
Yes. And I know that's wrong. It was just like, as a parent, and unfortunately, I tend to be a perfectionist and a lot of ways I needed to know as a parent that I wasn't the reason that I screwed my kid up. This was what I told myself in my head, you know, and I don't mean to offend anybody that has type two, but this is like, what I processed at the time, you

Scott Benner 15:40
know, I appreciate you being honest. Yeah. So because it's just, it's, it's, it's such a human thing, right. You know, like, even in the middle of that situation, where you're like, there's something really wrong with my kid. There's still a portion of your brain that's thinking like you did. Don't worry, you didn't do it. It's okay. Like, yeah, it's exactly in there. What's that? I said, you have a cheerleader inside. They're trying to try to help you not like fall apart, basically.

Denise 16:11
Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I needed to know, it wasn't my fault, too. You know, like, I feel like with type two, I know, kiddos, get it. But I do also know that it's a lot of times related to the types of foods they're eating and their sedentary behaviors, you know. And I just needed to know, that wasn't us, even though I already knew that in my heart, you know,

Scott Benner 16:35
did it? Did you ever think about it later? That like, because what I mean, how does it it doesn't matter. In the end, like, right, you have this emergent problem. But in the end, did you have a one someone told you? That's definitely type one. Did you have a letdown? I was relieved.

Denise 16:52
Yeah. And even the doctors though when we were in the ER, they're like, we can't guarantee it's type one. Because normally type one kiddos with these numbers are, you know, they've Crumped and they're in the ICU, or they're in a coma. So the fact that he had compensated so well, for so long and had such high numbers, they, they could not like guarantee me that that was what was going on. And obviously they had to check the antibodies and everything anyway, but but they were not sure. And they were totally surprised when he came back as a type one. And I like you said I was relieved, because I needed to know that it wasn't my fault as a parent.

Scott Benner 17:32
So are there any autoimmune issues in your, on your side of the family?

Denise 17:37
My mom and my dad both type two. And then my brother has colitis. And actually my sister just got diagnosed with colitis. So yeah, unfortunately, a lot of my side, my husband side, also colitis. But no type one.

Scott Benner 17:58
I'm, I never say this, but I always think it and I'm gonna just say it here, because you seem like you can take it. Was it okay? I'm, I'm I'm never not fascinated when I asked people about auto immune in their family. And they skip over that I asked them about autoimmune, and they just start listing health ailments. And how many people say, Well, my dad has typed too, and I always liked it. There's this little guy, right? Yeah, there's this little part of me that always wants to go.

Denise 18:29
Hi, no, I'm sorry.

Scott Benner 18:31
You don't need to be sorry. It's such a common thing that happens. I think that it's an association thing. I think, yeah. First thing they think of is diabetes, diabetes. So hey, no, there's no type one but there is type two, and and colitis is very well, autoimmune. Yeah. Right. And then I'm sorry. You said on your husband side.

Denise 18:52
He also has the colitis thing is his brother. Yeah, you're right. I just, I assume you can make the connection that clearly the Type Two is not the type one and therefore it's not out. Oh,

Scott Benner 19:04
no, no, no, of course I can. And you know, you know, I'm just right. It's just happened so many hundreds of times that I was just like, funny point. I have to point this out. So here we are, Denise. I pointed it out on your ass. Sorry, the mold

Denise 19:17
of the people you interview. Oh, that's

Scott Benner 19:21
how long did it take for him in the hospital to get down and how long do they have in the hospital for?

Denise 19:28
So we were in the hospital for days. And we actually averted an ICU admission they had to get like it was his sodium down. And so they were pumping him with fluids. And they said if they couldn't normalize it while we were in the ER that he would go to the ICU, but luckily they were able to get it back on track. And so we ended up going to a standard pediatric unit. And all of the pediatricians that we saw during that four day stay, they were all floored that he ended To up on a normal pediatric floor and then I had caught it in time, because they said like 99% of the kiddos they see with new diagnosis. Do new diagnoses end up in the ICU?

Scott Benner 20:12
Yeah. Was he doing the panting what does that called?

Denise 20:18
No. Oh, he was totally normal. No. He had no symptoms other than eating a crazy amount. He was emotional, but I didn't I didn't recognize that I thought he was just being an annoying seven year old and he was said you know that was it? He was totally normal every other way. Interesting. Kussmaul respiration respirations Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 20:43
but okay, so Alright, so now you're so you're I'm trying to track it because your military move on this was happening in Vegas right? I guess Yep. He gets out of the hospital what what kind of gear do you start with?

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Denise 24:14
we did not have a Dexcom. I begged. I begged them, and they would not do it. They said you have to wait till your endo appointment. I was so pissed. This wasn't even the military hospital. This was sunrise children's. They would not do it. Because at the time when you have four days on your hands, all you're doing is researching and actually I'm pretty sure I found you during that hospital stay because you know I'm like batshit crazy when it affects my camera. I spent all nights and days just researching all the things and I found out about Dexcom and I found out about you because nobody told me about you or your page.

Scott Benner 24:51
So you just found that on your own. Yeah.

Denise 24:55
So I beg them for Dexcom they wouldn't give it to me. And so we left with a a glucometer and MDI setup

Scott Benner 25:04
and how did his his overall behavior change as his blood sugar's came down,

Denise 25:12
he was still really angry with me for a while he, he just couldn't internalize the fact that he was going to have it whether I had found it or not. And so I remember him like telling me how mad he was with me. Because we shared a bed, you know, I had the option for like a pullout couch. But I didn't want to be on that we, we laid in the same hospital bed together. But at night, one night, he he told me how mad he was. And, you know, he was still very angry and emotional at the time. So I remember just laying next to him. We were both just crying. It was it was hard. But yeah, over time, things definitely improved.

Scott Benner 25:53
Such a human Denisa isn't it? You need people and you want to be around people, but really, they just try to kill you. Yeah. Yeah.

Denise 26:03
Especially your kid telling you that they they're so mad at you. And it's all your fault. Like, imagine that, like, in your heart. You're like, I did what's right, I saved my kid. Everybody else tried to screw him over. And he hates me now. How do you not lose yours? In that moment? You know,

Scott Benner 26:21
it's a it's not great. I mean, I would I trade my children. No, but you know, it's tough. It's just a really

Denise 26:29
that out of the mouths of babes moment.

Scott Benner 26:33
It's such an interesting thing that, um, the I mean, there's so many cliches, but like, you know, you heard the ones you love the most like all that stuff, even and not that he's trying to do that. He's expressing how he feels. And he's got a limited perspective on the world and understanding what's happening. So I mean, I don't not understand it. But on your side. That's an academic exercise explaining to yourself it still feels the way it feels. You know, that's just it's that sucks. I feel free there. That's a that's not pleasant. Over time. Has that gotten better? Are you still the Oh, yeah.

Denise 27:05
Yeah, I actually asked him so I was like, trying to think about what I would want to talk about today. And I asked him how he felt about the whole situation and, and if there were any positives, or whatever. And he said, The drawbacks are, how annoying it is that I make him dos all the time, and how annoying it is for him to wait for food. And then the positives. He said, I get delicious snacks and yummy stuff when no one else gets like so we just moved to Slovakia. And there's like this really awesome Italian market with like legit Italian cannolis and cheese and all this delicious stuff. And so we had a box of like delicious Italian cannolis in our fridge and my husband in the middle of the night. He was low and he actually ran him up a freaking cannoli. So my son was like, Yeah, like that other time when I had the cannoli, daddy woke me up and give me a cannoli to raise my blood sugar. I was like, Yes, pretty friggin lucky did

Scott Benner 28:12
bakery delivery at 2:30am, right?

Denise 28:15
I know, I would not do that. I was like, Dude, you're gonna get a couple of glucose tabs in night. My husband, the way

Scott Benner 28:22
you're thinking there are times where I feel like, I feel like I'm standing in a dark room talking to Arden. And we're, we're negotiating over what, you know, sounds good for her to eat. And you know that you have like a span of time before she gets so low that it doesn't matter. It's just gonna be juice, right? And you're standing there, you're like you sure because there are times she doesn't care. Like she just wants to bring her blood sugar back up. It's not a big deal. But sometimes she wakes up and she's hungry. And she'll go, No, you know what I want? That's exactly what happens. He's like,

Denise 28:56
can I get up later? Yeah, could

Scott Benner 28:59
I get this and you know, you're walking through the house, the dogs look up, like, Why are you awake? And like, It's not my fault. It'll like, go back upstairs with a handful of stuff. And like, what about this? What about this? But anyway,

Denise 29:12
that makes the parent of the year and those moments?

Scott Benner 29:14
Well, you would think but the award has never arrived. Denise no one's actually set it out.

Denise 29:19
Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing. When I was talking to my son today, I was like it realized I don't, I don't want to annoy you for fun. Like, it's not fun for me to annoy you. You know, I said, my main goal is to keep you healthy and strong so that you can live a normal, healthy, happy life. You know, I said I would annoy you till the cows come home just so that you can have a normal happy life, you know,

Scott Benner 29:43
so true. So it's quite a it's quite a balanced, that's for sure. And you're saying now he has Dexcom and does the pumper Does he still do? Yeah,

Denise 29:52
he isn't too slim. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:54
Are you using the control IQ?

Denise 29:56
Nope, we're in sleep mode. 20 470 Wait

Scott Benner 29:59
control like you're using the algorithm?

Denise 30:03
Well, so technically you have to turn control IQ off for sleep mode to run. Okay. So basically with sleep mode on, the Basal itself just increases or decreases, pending his blood sugar.

Scott Benner 30:19
So sleep mode sort of turns into Basal IQ.

Denise 30:22
I guess I don't know anything about Basal IQ. It is the Basal rate. So I guess that makes sense. So interesting.

Scott Benner 30:27
How long have you been using it?

Denise 30:31
A pump itself or

Scott Benner 30:32
the pump?

Denise 30:35
We got it in Virginia. Once we moved our endo in Vegas, she was great. But she was like you guys are moving. So you might as well just wait. So you get set up in Virginia. And then we got it. So I think we got it maybe about March of this year. So no, last year previous? Yeah. Maybe we've been using it about 1415 months.

Scott Benner 30:59
It's interesting. You you measure all your time. With landmarks.

Denise 31:05
Assignments? Yeah, totally.

Scott Benner 31:07
It's it's very, it's very interesting. So you went from Vegas to Virginia, and brain year for a year, but now recently, you moved overseas?

Denise 31:16
Yeah, we're in Slovakia. We're in Bratislava, the capital.

Scott Benner 31:19
How long do you think you'll be there?

Denise 31:22
Three to four years? Definitely three at least. Is

Scott Benner 31:26
that a longer assignment than normal?

Denise 31:28
No, about right. Yeah.

Scott Benner 31:31
How did the kids go to school.

Denise 31:35
So they're not in school yet. When we got here, they had like two weeks left of their school. So I didn't want to put them through that at the very end of the school year. So I figured I would keep them out until they start again, which they will start August 25. And so my husband's affiliated with the embassy out here. And the embassy pays for them to go to a British International School. So they will be going there. Come August 25th.

Scott Benner 32:06
And that's that's an English speaking school.

Denise 32:08
Yeah. You know how much money it is? If I had to pay out of pocket? If you'll tell me I want to know 20,000 euro per kid per year,

Scott Benner 32:18
20,000 euros per kid, even like

Denise 32:20
Fathom without would be like,

Scott Benner 32:25
I can look it up right now.

Denise 32:27
Can you imagine? Like, I can't even I mean, I feel really grateful for my kids to have this opportunity. Holy cow.

Scott Benner 32:35
20 grand a year for each card?

Denise 32:38
Yeah. And then it's more for meals, which I don't even know what we're gonna do about that. Is there like, legit like home cooked type stuff over in Europe? Because it's not like cafeteria nasty food, like the states. And so I'm nervous about that already thinking about how many kids will actually bring lunch from home? And will my son want to do that? And if he does, like, what does that look like for me? You know, is the website even going to have nutrition facts on it for me to try and figure out a carb? Or a number of units prior to a meal? You know,

Scott Benner 33:14
are the meals extra money? Or does it come for the 20?

Denise 33:17
There extra money, we do have to pay for that. But they also have a bus that can pick up our kids from the door. And that is like 15 euro per day. But we don't have to pay for that, thankfully. Can you imagine you're already paying 20,000 euro per year, and you're also having to pay for transportation for your kid like,

Scott Benner 33:40
what the heck, but they get a nice fillet at lunch? Yeah,

Denise 33:44
I don't know, we'll see. But you have to pay for the meals, I will have to pay for that. I mean, the people have been really nice. Hopefully, there's no diabetic mothers or fathers that follow your podcast. So I won't have friends anytime soon. If so,

Scott Benner 33:58
you know, in my lifetime, when I was a kid growing up, my grandmother made school lunches at an American school. And she would get up every morning. Like, you know, five o'clock in the morning, she'd go to that school and prep and make by hand 1000s of sandwiches. Like, you know, real ingredients, like, you know, that kind of stuff. She'd finished those sandwiches up, and then she'd go home. It's all she did was make sandwiches every day for those people. And in just 10 years after she was doing that, and I was in high school, you know, 1015 years after, you know, I was I grown up knowing her doing that. They were down to like frozen pizza and like here, you know, like, so sad. It's really disappointing. You know, Arden said this year at school, and they blamed COVID But they didn't have any they just didn't open the cafeteria. So it's all packaged right by packs of chips. Yeah, that kind of stuff, but they didn't. And yeah, it's

Denise 35:05
disheartening because a lot of kids don't have parents that can provide them healthy meals at home, either. You know,

Scott Benner 35:11
I've had a half days where she was home by noon 1230. So she could kind of go in and come out. But if she got hungry while she was there, she was stocked with potato chips. That's all they had. And $15 a day to feed to transport your kids. Probably another 15 to feed them. 30 Yeah, it's nice how they pay for the school, but don't don't pay for you to feed them while they're there. Yeah, right.

Denise 35:36
I think we'll be packing lunch anyway, though, to have control.

Scott Benner 35:42
You know, you've used that word about six times that he's Do you want to tell us about your mental disorder.

Denise 35:48
I will curse you out right now. But I'm going to try and keep this clean. twice already. But I would throw an F bomb in there for you right now.

Scott Benner 35:56
Tell me about a little bit like what? Why? Like, what about it? Do you feel like you're too soon into diabetes to start eating like food that's being prepared somebody else somewhere else with? It isn't yours.

Denise 36:08
So with him, I think with the Pre-Bolus aspect. And even their schedule, I'm not sure how it works. I don't know if they go out to play and then eat or if they eat and then go out to play. I know they have a one hour lunch break. And I don't know, I don't know what the food looks like. And I don't know anything about the delicacies here and what the carb count might even look like. I think I never let him by when we were in Vegas, or Virginia just because I don't know. I like to have control over what they're eating. I don't know. I feel like the food is usually crappy, obviously, in the States, and so we just didn't bother there. But here the food will probably be a lot better. But how do I dose for that when I don't even know what it looks like, you know?

Scott Benner 37:10
So is this. So how long have you been there?

Denise 37:14
We just got here. I think we're here like almost a month now. Okay.

Scott Benner 37:17
All right. So yeah. Have you gone out for a meal? Have you eaten? Oh,

Denise 37:21
yeah. Yeah. I would need to see the menu to see if I even know what these meals are. I can tell you the top meal in the areas brings over a Hulu ski, which is like almost like little dumplings with sheep cheese. My kids really like it. They say it's like like Slovak mac and cheese. What's it called? pretty yummy. Britain's obey Hallelu ski. Our Y and DZOV and then Hulu ski is Ha L Yes.

Scott Benner 37:59
Ky. The Internet right here. Do

Denise 38:02
you find it out?

Scott Benner 38:02
Yeah. I want to understand what we're looking at here. super yummy.

Denise 38:06
It's almost like a new key concept.

Scott Benner 38:08
Bacon potatoes cream soft cheese flour. Yeah, you just said yeah, like it's pretty good. To medium potatoes, a cup of flour, a teaspoon of salt. 150 grams of smoked a regular bacon, half a tablespoon of vegetable oil. 125 grams. Britain the or other soft cheese like feta goat or cottage cheese. 50 milliliters of cream that are optional. Hold on a second. Are you gonna make it? I mean, I'm looking at it now trying to figure and it looks like

Denise 38:44
I don't know what's going on. Okay, almost.

Scott Benner 38:47
What I'm looking at is a plate that looks like lumpy white stuff with hunks of bacon.

Denise 38:53
Yeah, basically. Yeah. Hopefully we're not offending anyone.

Scott Benner 38:58
I'm not a fan. I'm describing it very accurately. So

Denise 39:03
here's what's objective data.

Scott Benner 39:05
Here's a here's a recipe that has six stars. Hey, somebody likes it.

Denise 39:12
Finally Great. Try it and report back to me. Oh, I

Scott Benner 39:16
have to hold on a second. Well, I mean, it's just it sounds like alright, I can't believe I'm doing this finally great to potato into a bowl keeping the juice out of flour, egg and salt. Stir with a wooden spoon at water stir until lumps are smoothed out though is not too runny at flour. If too thick add water. Large pot bring water to a boil add salt transfer potato dough into boiling water by using spatzle maker or push the dough through a large grater or colander. Thank you gently boil for seven to eight minutes until it floats I was it's like it's like it's like okay almost like me while me off by the big toe crest. I think the cubes strain It sprinkle the bacon on top and pour the rendered bacon fat all over it. Salt. I got a salted afterwards bacon that's not going to handle.

Denise 40:09
It's very healthy. Yeah.

Scott Benner 40:11
So what this sounds like is flour and a potato and bacon. And cheese. That's hard to go wrong.

Denise 40:18
Yeah, right. All the best things rolled into one so

Scott Benner 40:22
interesting. Denise, that you said you don't want your kids to have any junky food.

Denise 40:29
They have plenty of junky food, it's just I need to know how to control his blood sugar at school. Dude, we've had so much ice cream since we moved here, you would be floored

Scott Benner 40:40
because because you know how to Bolus for ice cream?

Denise 40:43
No, it's everywhere. And it's delicious. I mean, and really have become a real slacker with like, counting carbs. I just like eyeball it. I don't know if this makes me a good mom or a bad mom for diabetes, but I just eyeball it. And I'm like, You know what, let's just get two units on board right now. And then I think this is going to hit hard. So but we have the protein, it's not going to hit too hard. But once it does, it's gonna go real high. So we'll just like reconvene in like an hour. And then once I start seeing it rise, I'm like, Okay, let's hit it again with another three. And that's kind of how I do diabetes. Now I'm like, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But it's kind of fun.

Scott Benner 41:27
It's just sort of how I do it. So really, like, do

Denise 41:30
you ever like say, just looks to be about 50 grams of carbs?

Scott Benner 41:34
I mean, you do that? In a sense. Yeah, every time but not, but not in the way that you're imagining? I don't I don't look at it and think, Oh, that's a cup of this. And I end on the bag, right says this match? You know, I look at the plate. And I'm like, it seems like this much, you know, and if what, you know, if, if I think it looks like 60 carbs, and when she enters 60 carbs into you know, the algorithm. If the suggested amount of insulin is about as much insulin as I think that plate needs, then I go okay, well, that's it. All right. And then I just then you just watch it. And if it goes up, then you go after it again. Yep. And very infrequently. Is it too much. Although we used too much at a lunch yesterday, sort of how long did she go? She had to she had to do something like three hours later, she needed to like she had to take in carbs, like three hours later to stop. Like a drifting 60 ish blood sugar. It was a salad. Just the salad had stuff on it. And I was like, you know, that looks like this many carbs. We were in a restaurant and have to admit, I gave her a number that assumed that she was going to take a couple of bites of what I was eating. And then she just never did. And then it held so well for the first two hours that we kind of were like, Oh, we might have had this. Like we're I guess we're okay. And then in the like, two hours, 30 minutes time started getting a drift. And then we had to we had to jump in and do something then. Gotcha. But you know, still it was a salad, like a big salad in a restaurant. And we Bolus like 30 carbs for it. Wow. So we were almost right. So I would think that salad needed more like, it was probably more like 2022 Maybe carbs. And had she just had a couple of bites while I was eating we would have definitely been right, but tried. So you wrote maybe the most expansive note to me of anybody in the last two years asking really? I guess you put so much information there. I want to be that bad? No, I just want to be clear with you that I did not read it. So

Denise 44:07
I don't even remember what I wrote. So it's cool,

Scott Benner 44:09
small novel, I wouldn't even know. Yeah, it's a small like, you know, like, you know, not a, it's not a full novel. It's not a full book. But you know, Ben Franklin used to put together those little readers for people. He'd be like, here's common sense. Like it's sort of on that, that that level. Um,

Denise 44:25
that's really funny that you read it.

Scott Benner 44:27
You You know.

Denise 44:31
Now I know for next time

Scott Benner 44:34
how presumptuousness.

Denise 44:37
Know what all right if I ever come on again, and it'll be the F bomb, and then you

Scott Benner 44:43
fill in this jackass you don't even read this.

Denise 44:47
Go blank yourself. Yeah.

Scott Benner 44:50
I've, I've run my eyes over it before we started. But I don't want to. I don't want to know I don't want to put myself in a situation where we're just reading from a list. Yeah, no.

Denise 44:59
I appreciate that.

Scott Benner 45:00
But it's interesting because, yeah, but it's interesting because you wrote this probably six months ago, I'm guessing. And you're worried about your son's health when you make the move to where you are now? And you're still worried about it, aren't you?

Denise 45:17
Oh, yeah. That's like my life, unfortunately. Yeah. What it weighs heavily on you?

Scott Benner 45:24
What's going to take that worry away?

Denise 45:27
Um, nothing.

Scott Benner 45:30
Is it a real concern? Or is it honestly, is it? Is

Denise 45:33
it? No, I mean, we function fine. But I can tell you, there's always in the back of my mind, I really hope that I can send him off to college, if that's what he chooses, after graduation, knowing that I've done the best for him, and he will have zero complications at that point in time in his life that are associated with my and my husband's, you know, dosing, and treatment of his diabetes.

Scott Benner 46:02
Can we talk for real for a second, like we're friends? Yeah, I know you're at

Denise 46:08
D Nice.

Scott Benner 46:13
Last night, I'm going to deviate for a second I'm gonna go back to my last night, a person in the Facebook group was asking people questions, and people were giving a lot of good answers, but they seem to still be discombobulated. And I was up late editing a show. And I thought, well, let me see if I can't, like, be valuable here. And I asked, I asked to see a graph and they put a graph up, but then they were pretty clear that this was not a standard graph. And you know, that other people had been involved in the Bolus thing and that they were getting back involved in it. And, and I said, Okay, well, the graphs, like a little scattershot, I thought to myself, and if they're telling me this isn't the norm, then that's fair, like, so I answered back. And I said, Well, you know, why don't you, you know, get back in the game and send me a graph in a couple of days and just tag me at all. I'll take a look again, if I can. And in the meantime, I gave some, like high level ideas of what I thought I would concentrate on based on the graph I'm looking at, well, this this person did not like they did not think that my, my, my response was thorough enough. valuable, and they began to like, in 15 years of doing this for people bashes. I've never, I've never been spoken to like that before. Oh, and and I immediately thought, this person isn't a isn't a bad situation. They turned on me in, in it splits. It was like, it was like, defensive, it was like petting your favorite dog, and it biting you after it knowing you forever. I was like, I was stunned. I was like, You know what I mean? Like, like, I went back to, to have a back and forth. And the response was, so just, it was just so out of bounds for what was happening. You know what I mean? Like, there was no even like, slowly I turned, it was just like zero to 100 miles an hour. And I tried to respond and to, you know, I was like, Look, I think maybe we're just having a communication issue here. Because I know you what you're receiving right now is definitely not my intention. And I'm I'm very willing to believe that what I'm receiving from you is not your intention. Let's just start over and then they just deleted the whole thread.

Denise 48:26
Hmm. So they stay on the page? Or did

Scott Benner 48:30
they just stay on the page? I wouldn't, I wouldn't block them. I would have been happy for the person to continue to tell me how they felt like, yeah, you know, like, it just seemed like they were overwhelmed. And I could be wrong. Maybe I'm just okay. But I know what I said. And I'd be hard pressed to think that anybody would read it and think you're just being a jerk. I was not I was trying to help. Yeah, I just did not offer what they wanted. And I think I think there's

Denise 48:57
something deeper going on at that point, you know? Yeah, I think it's a perfectionism thing, probably to like, I don't want you to see my flaws. You know? I don't know. Yeah. Because I think people internalize the numbers a lot. I know that I do. Like, I feel like the biggest piece of when my son has a bad day. And I know, that's not a healthy way to live, but I can't help it because I know 90% of the day, I'm the I'm the one responsible, like, my husband helps at night and stuff. But right now he's in a vault, you know, he can't even take his cell phone. And so it's me, you know, when you have those days that are really crappy. Like, it's really hard to separate the fact that this is not you, you're not a bad mom, you know, like those kinds of things that go through your head.

Scott Benner 49:45
So I brought that situation up because over the last hour, aside from the first 10 minutes where you couldn't make any of your stuff work, which oh, by the way, I will I'm going to put at the end for people to hear just I wanted to make that clear here. So hang on a second. You're gonna hear Denise tried to make her headphones work. But no one will listen. Don't worry, Denise,

Denise 50:08
they'll probably let well, people I know that are going to be listening to laugh.

Scott Benner 50:12
Everyone's gonna hear they're like, oh, yeah, I do want to hear her fun for, but I brought it up because you're, you use you've used language for the last hour. That is over and over again, telling me that if he's not okay, you're not going to be okay. And and I mean, on a psychological level, but you seem aware of it?

Denise 50:40
I am. I know. I'm all about it. I mean, I have anxiety for sure. And I know I have perfectionistic tendencies. So I'm aware, I just don't know how to make it better. You know, I don't know how to separate the two like right now I feel that I am the type one diabetic, almost, you know. But it's worse, because it's my kid, you know, and I'm 100% responsible for his well being right now. Like he is not making these decisions. He and I work together. He has as much opinion on it as he wants. And I'm not going to overwhelm him by giving him more than he wants right now. But with that being said, it's me. And it's my husband, my husband's awesome and he helps when he can but he's not always home. And he, like I said doesn't have a cell phone on him. So doesn't know what his numbers are half the day, you know?

Scott Benner 51:33
Oh, yeah. Did you ask me not want a cell phone?

Denise 51:37
He's not allowed. He he has a, you know, secretive kind of job. Oh, I see. Yeah, you can't bring any technology. I'm with him when he's at work. Duty is not like Fred Flintstone.

Scott Benner 51:52
Would that make him a Luddite? If he didn't want to use technology? I have to find out if I'm right. This might be me showing off and I know what Luddite means. Or it might be me proving rare a person opposed to the new technology or ways of working a lot. I think. Speaking of big words, are you martyring yourself at all?

Denise 52:16
No, I don't think so.

Scott Benner 52:17
You don't think you will just be like, it's on me. It's all me. I might as well have diabetes. He's involved. He's

Denise 52:25
a he's a baby. You know, that's the thing. Like, he's not a baby, but he's not obviously making the decisions that affect his life from here on out, you know, and working as a nurse and seeing tons of type one, or type two complications. My dad was on dialysis when he died. Actually, he wasn't on it. When he died. My mom donated a kidney to him. Because he was on dialysis. Like, I don't know that I can let those things go. I've seen too much. I've seen amputees. I've worked with amputees. Yeah.

Scott Benner 53:00
Yeah. You have a bigger perspective. Your mom has a two as well, right?

Denise 53:06
Yes, but she didn't at the time. My dad had type two since I was like in third grade.

Scott Benner 53:12
And she No, I have a bigger one. Now. I don't even care about you or your kids. They were a perfect match. I was gonna say your mind blowing. How long were they married when she donated that kidney? Like how old was she

Denise 53:22
God a long time. I think my dad was diagnosed when he was 40. He died when he was 60. So that was maybe when he was 50. Something. They were married a long time they got married when my mom was 18. And she's 70. Now

Scott Benner 53:38
so Okay, so they married when they were 19 in his 50s. So 30 years later, your mom gave him a kidney? Mm hmm. I have been married since 96. Let me do the quick math on that. 2006 16 Hold on a second then forced 20 That's 24 That too. I've been married like 26 years. I'm not 100% certain that Kelly would cross the street to save my life. And you're telling me your mom gave him a kid? Did she love him? Or was she scared which wasn't?

Denise 54:09
Probably combo. She loved him. They had a really good relationship overall. That's really we have we have pictures of the two of them and hospital but it's like being wheeled back at the same time stuff is mind blowing. Lovely. Pretty beautiful and sad all at the same time. Listen, if

Scott Benner 54:29
Kelly ever listens to this just tell you like you better not need an organ. Don't ask me

Denise 54:34
because I don't know what my choice is going to be. I don't want to be put in

Scott Benner 54:37
that situation. You know what I mean?

Denise 54:40
Oh my god, I think you need to have her watch or listen now.

Scott Benner 54:43
All right, well, I don't want to have to shine a light on this. See where I'm gonna when

Denise 54:48
I feel like I need to like tag her. Is she on your page by the way? I think you need to let me know. I don't think that's important when it when it airs. I would be like, Oh Hey Kelly, this episode. You really want to listen to it.

Scott Benner 54:59
Don't worry, please Just last week when I talk about and I'll say, Oh, I just talked about how I don't want to give you an Oregon.

Denise 55:06
You better keep your blood sugar in check. You don't need I

Scott Benner 55:09
don't need any kidneys. I'm not giving them.

Denise 55:12
But yeah, there's not a lot of organs you can do it in anyway,

Scott Benner 55:15
I just found it really nice that people who were together that long would do something like that for each other. I usually imagine when people are together for that long, they're just they're out of convenience. Yeah,

Denise 55:25
they hate each other. Like,

Scott Benner 55:27
I don't want to go through selling this sofa.

Denise 55:30
Right. Right, or I need his medical benefits.

Scott Benner 55:34
Yeah, you mean the guy with the money? He's okay. He gets there. But not that that's really that's a I mean, it's a real indication of something. Giving somebody giving somebody a kidney? Yes, for sure. No. How long did it by him?

Denise 55:48
Oh, gosh, probably four or five years. Maybe I'd love to ask him. He thought he had COPD. And she gave him a yeah, he was in the Navy. He smoked like a chimney. We my sister and I used to like break his cigarette, his cigarettes. And we eventually got him to quit. But you know, the damage was done. So he was on oxygen and everything. And yeah, it wasn't dialysis at that point.

Scott Benner 56:20
snap decision, your husband needs a kidney. You given it to him?

Denise 56:25
Don't do this to me. I think as long as I don't know, you know, my situation is different. Got to know. I mean, with two parents with type two.

Scott Benner 56:39
Do you think you're getting? So I

Denise 56:41
don't know. Because I feel like I'm screwed. I'm gonna end up with type two, regardless of my lifestyle choices.

Scott Benner 56:48
I see your point, but I don't know. Like,

Denise 56:51
I think I would. I think I would. And then I'd also be concerned at the same time for my own future with the potential for myself to Andover type to see it's

Scott Benner 57:01
interesting. I thought you were gonna say I'm saying if I was gonna give anyone a kidney, I would give it to my son. So I want to hold on to him. I never

Denise 57:09
even thought about that. But yeah, absolutely. But who knows if you're even a match. That's the other thing. You know? I can't believe still to this day that my mom and dad, you know, we're a match. That maybe they were brother and sister. But I turned out damn good.

Scott Benner 57:27
You don't have a tail or anything like that?

Denise 57:33
Oh, god, that's gross to think about.

Scott Benner 57:35
Which part you having a tail or your parents being brothers?

Denise 57:38
My parents seems siblings.

Scott Benner 57:42
Definitely holding on to that excuse for oh my god, I'm saving it in case it needs it. I'm sorry.

Denise 57:47
Go see. That's a really good excuse.

Scott Benner 57:50
It's such a leap. Like when people donate organs. I mean, I find it to be one of the like, really major kindnesses. You know, it just it's just a big leap. You know? Yeah. I mean, it's not like you're letting your neighbor use your other weedwacker like, I got this one stole it's crazy. It's a crazy thing to do. I mean, a lot of respect for people who do that. I

Denise 58:14
really selfless. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Scott Benner 58:17
Okay, so I want to go back to your anxiety whole life.

Denise 58:22
You know, I think so. And I don't think I recognized it until my adult.

Scott Benner 58:29
Just thought you're on top of stuff.

Denise 58:32
Yeah, I mean, my childhood was a little rough. So. So I think that kind of makes you a little more anxious. And then like, I distinctly remember my sister and I, we were both camp counselors. And she was a camp counselor like the year before, when we were in high school or whatever. She and I are three years apart. And then I had just, I just got in my car. And I was like a brand new driver. And my sister and I were both driving separate cars to the camp but I'd never been there before. In this was like before the time of GPS or whatever. And so I was falling behind her. And she I think was trying to show off and so she passed this car in front of me. And I was so nervous about getting lost that I to pass the car without looking in the other direction and seeing this 18 Wheeler coming towards me. So I distinctly remember him like laying on the horn because we almost had a head on collision. Well, I almost had a head on collision with like an 18 Wheeler. And when we arrived my sister's like, I can't believe you pass that car. I should have never passed the card and think you were gonna follow me and I was like, Well, I was so nervous about you know, getting lost. I don't know my way around here and yeah, so I think that was a you know, first indicator where I realized But I probably needed to chill out.

Scott Benner 1:00:02
So your anxiety was so overwhelming that you were willing to put yourself into a harmful situation just to not have the feeling of oh, I might get lost falling apart. Yeah.

Denise 1:00:11
Yep. Yeah, that feeling of being out of control it couldn't handle. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:00:17
And so what do you do you do anything for it.

Denise 1:00:21
I mean, I've talked to therapists and stuff, I do meditation, when I'm exercising, I'm in a better place, I think overall, but have kind of come to accept that this is my norm. And I really don't think diabetes has helped it at all. I think it's made it worse. I think, if you have perfectionistic tendencies and anxiety, diabetes is like the worst condition for you to have to deal with in my eyes. Because there's so many numbers, you know, there's so much objective data, you go in every three months, and you get an A onesie and time and range, you know, and, and that's a reflection on, you know, how well you're managing. And so even if it's three months later, and your agency and time range go down, just by a point, you're like, Gosh, I really screwed up, at least for me. And of course, it's not my disease, but it feels like it right now. Because I'm the one managing my head. Do you have any

Scott Benner 1:01:17
idea of what age or what situation you'll want him to be in when you start giving him some aspects of a responsibility?

Denise 1:01:27
I mean, he has responsibility. I have him like, pull things out for a meal and, and figure out how much to dose for instead, but not when he's away from me, you know, and he plugs everything into his pump by himself. I just do and he feels comfortable with but he gets really annoyed by having to do too much, you know, he doesn't like to be interrupted while he's playing or whatever. And that's, that's the real disservice with the T Slim is. I can't just take the PDM because there is no PDM it's the pump, which he wears, you know, so I have to be nagging him, or I take it out of his belt and do it for him. You know, so does this and I know T Slim is coming out with the update, but it's not out yet. And I really look forward to that to reduce some of the pain in the ass burden for him, especially on nights. And we have like a tricky meal, you know,

Scott Benner 1:02:25
do you. So what you're describing to me makes sense, because he's nine, and I hear everything you're saying. And at the same time, I imagined that there are people listening who have had type one diabetes for 30 years who are thinking like, yeah, let that kid do more like that kind of stuff. Like, are you worried that there's a tipping point somewhere where he could go so far in the direction he's in now that you can't get him back? When it's time for him to take over? And do like, feed it a little out like what I used to do in Arlen was little. And we still do it now to some degrees, we kind of played that game where food would come out like like, how many carbs do you think that is? Or how much insulin Do you think that is? And or I do that? Or when our when our blood sugar starts going up, I asked her leading questions to teach her know, like, hey, was there any fried food in your lunch? Even now, today? I still do that. And it makes her think and then she'll go, Yeah, I had French fries. And I'll say, oh, we should Bolus for the fact that and you know where she says no, when I go, Okay, well, what did you eat? And so I'm teaching her without? Well, I mean, Denise, if I'm being honest, I'm doing to her what I'm doing to all of you, but I just I'm teaching her without letting her know she's being taught.

Denise 1:03:40
That's a good idea, actually. I mean, I do mention what I think happened in that moment, but I don't ask his opinion on those things. I mean, there have been times where he's like, I'm gonna take another tab too, because I'm starting to not feel good or whatever, you know. And we do talk about what I think is happening, when it's happening, and why it happened, and how I messed up or how we messed up. Well, really how I like, yeah, I should ask his opinion. For more. I like that idea, actually, like, just make it a game and not have him feel like I'm grilling him, you know, because I don't want to make it a burden. And based on what I've read in the beginning, I, I didn't, I just wanted to take his lead on things because I don't want him to have burnout when he goes off to college and be belligerent and not care at all and end up in the ICU or something. You know, you

Scott Benner 1:04:39
also don't want him to not know what he's doing.

Denise 1:04:41
Yeah, I know, like, how do you find that balance? So, you know, I

Scott Benner 1:04:45
just told you what I thought so

Denise 1:04:48
probably, I will implement ASAP.

Scott Benner 1:04:51
So like yesterday, we were coming home from lunch, and we had like a nice 20 minute ride and I said, Hey, I'm going to explain how your algorithm works to you She knows what and I was like, I like the background of it. I'm going to talk you through it a little bit. And she's like, Oh, that sounds so boring. And I said is going to be very boring. I was like, but just let me go. I was like, we're driving. And I'm talking like, you understand. I'm saying she's like, Yeah, and I looked over it again. She goes, I'm getting tired. This is so boring. I said, we'll just let me you know, fill in a couple more blanks for you. I've been doing that for years. Like I remember, I remember the first time we had a real conversation was after an endo appointment. And she showed some interest. She said, What could I do to bring my agency down? And I thought about it. I said, if I could ask you to do just one thing, until Daddy can figure things out a little better. Could we stop eating cereal for breakfast? That would be terrific. And she's like, if that'll help, I'll do that. And so she did that, which gave me more time to figure out things like this was many, many years ago. And, and ironically, of course, she doesn't even eat cereal anymore. But you know, there was enough time where I actually could figure things out back before I was good at polishing for things. And then I was able to take what I learned and then reapply it to cereal. And that's what I need. Hold on a second. This is unconscionable. My wife has one job in the world. To actually that's not true. She has three jobs. I'll tell you what they are. Make money. Tell me reasons why we can't have sex. And keep that dog quiet while I'm recording. The three things, three things

Denise 1:06:38
bring the dog in and I'll whisper sweet nothings in its ear. She's

Scott Benner 1:06:42
good at the other two things. Why can't she do this?

Denise 1:06:46
Probably because there's someone out your door or something. I

Scott Benner 1:06:48
don't care. There should be an urgency, a snap in her step. She should that dogs should bark and she should think Scott is recording that podcast is a very, very popular podcast. It cannot have dogs barking in the background. Let me leap to

Denise 1:07:01
know what people like to hear that you're like a normal human.

Scott Benner 1:07:05
Like, I don't know how normal I am.

Denise 1:07:07
Because I Googled earlier, right? You're not normal, actually. But

Scott Benner 1:07:11
I have a chart in front of me right now in case we want to play a game where we get to guess what US state it's legal to marry your cousin. And that's just based off of what you like, philosophize about your mom. Nice. Mostly. By the way, the answer is way more states than you think.

Denise 1:07:27
Well, there's so many Utah.

Scott Benner 1:07:32
I don't know what you just said because I love people in Utah, but I'm gonna look right now and give you us Hall. It's gotta be Utah. Yeah, only if both parties are 65 years or older, or both are 55 or older with a district court finding of infertility of either party.

Denise 1:07:49
Wow, my so old,

Scott Benner 1:07:52
cuz they're like, Please don't make babies when you're with your first cousin. I guess it makes Are you allowed to have sexual relations or cohabitation? If your cousin's in Utah? No. But there are plenty of states where you are legally allowed to

Denise 1:08:08
do it. Like where appears Don't tell me it's New York

Scott Benner 1:08:12
there's an interesting one in Wyoming you can't get married. But you can do the sexy part

Denise 1:08:21
Oh, wow. Is there an age limit?

Scott Benner 1:08:24
Not on not in Utah there's an age they're not in Wyoming there's an age limit in Utah. There's an age limit in Indiana you have to be over 65 in Illinois both over 50 were one is in fertile so you can be 35 if one of you can't have a baby. Arizona

Denise 1:08:44
How do you prove that you have to go to the doctor and prove that you're infertile?

Scott Benner 1:08:47
Have sex with your cousin nobody gets pregnant I don't know like it's the whole thing. When I googled that and there was a chart I was like

Denise 1:08:56
get out of here you know people are looking it up if that chart exists oh

Scott Benner 1:08:59
my goodness you have no idea i all i all i googled was married to your sister.

Denise 1:09:06
And you're gonna get like all kinds of all kinds of weird ads face to face.

Scott Benner 1:09:11
You brought this

Denise 1:09:14
I want to know like I need you to screenshot those and send them to me like what kind of ads you're getting on Facebook. Now it

Scott Benner 1:09:20
was your brain that brought this up. It has nothing to do.

Denise 1:09:24
You're gonna get like polygamy to polygamy, ads and

Scott Benner 1:09:28
there is just so like, what is it called when you date your sibling? While cousin marriage is legal in most countries. And a functional at marriage is legal in many sexual relations between siblings are considered incestuous almost universally Yeah. Okay, well, good. Oh, my goodness. I don't know how you made me think about these things. But you did. You're talking.

Denise 1:09:53
You gotta keep it fun around here, right?

Scott Benner 1:09:55
I don't know that. I'm not calling that fun. In case you're wondering where I draw the line for fun

Denise 1:10:00
Yeah, it's it's awkward and disgust I'm

Scott Benner 1:10:03
adopted. I can't even think of my cousin that way. And I've literally they they're not related to me in any way shape or form for real. It's just we grew up together.

Denise 1:10:11
Yeah. Hey, have you ever found like your birth mother and father know if you want to answer well, I mean,

Scott Benner 1:10:19
not have no. Suddenly we're on your podcast and he's been okay. Sorry. So when Arden was born, Kelly pressured me. And I'm using the word pressure to accurately pressured me to find out about my, about my natural parents. She wants to know for she said back then health reasons which never really panned out at all. We found we were able to find my birth mother who was already passed. And that was, I mean, when Arden was little so like, I don't know, 1718 years ago, and she had died in her 40s. We learned that she had a big family. And we contacted somehow contacted the family I think, an attorney that it for me, and then one person said they'd be open to speaking on the phone. I spoke to her one of her sisters. She described that my natural my birth mother was depressed her whole life. Because she gave me all the way she made it sound like it wasn't really her idea completely. Like sound like a lot of family pressure, maybe. Young. Yeah. And young guests, not really young, but younger. And she died. So I guess the depression turned into obesity. And she died having surgery trying to have like, like a stomach stapling or gastric bypass or something like that. She had a heart attack, I think in her 40s. And that said, obviously, I have no real emotional connection to the story. Right? So it's just the person then they had no, no idea who the father was, at least that they would say to me. Then later as the conversation went on, she described if you hear from your uncle this don't answer the phone. If you do this, don't answer the phone. Don't talk to that. And I was like, I'm out. And I never. I never ever watched him again. Yeah, too much drama. Yeah, so it turns out if it wasn't for adoption, I would have grown up in the mountains in the south somewhere.

Denise 1:12:35
Oh, dang. Yeah. southern twang

Scott Benner 1:12:39
Can you imagine? What if I had all these thoughts? And I was like, you know, living in a pickup truck in the woods. People would not be there but yeah, I don't think about it ever. I like the idea I've said here before I like the idea that I felt like as I was growing up, I felt like I was a new country and I got to make up my own walls. I always thought that was

Denise 1:13:02
so that was cool. Anyway,

Scott Benner 1:13:05
and I still live by those rules now the nice

Denise 1:13:08
nice I marry your sister

Scott Benner 1:13:14
are you trying to name this episode Denise?

Denise 1:13:19
Oh, ah you know what I always get a kick out of figuring out why you name the things you do this

Scott Benner 1:13:26
go marry your sister's a strong contender for this one.

Denise 1:13:29
Okay, what are the other options? I

Scott Benner 1:13:31
don't know whatever that food was called and friends of a Hiller ski Denise's anxiety one of the other I don't know.

Denise 1:13:39
No, leave that one out. You know, I know how to say I need help in Slovak. Oh yeah. Go ahead. It's put rebel Yeah. Promotes do people on the street but I will put caribou EMA promotes

Scott Benner 1:13:57
and people on the street don't speak English.

Denise 1:14:01
Young people do I'm actually taking Slovak lessons and I have been talking with her about learning more medical Slovak in case my kid gets admitted here. I pray he does not.

Scott Benner 1:14:15
Do you think you're going to get come along at all learning the language or is it hard?

Denise 1:14:21
Yeah, I mean, I know some stuff. I know how to order. I know how to say. Here you go. I know how to say good morning. Good day. You know? I'm sorry. I know some basic stuff.

Scott Benner 1:14:36
Are you obviously American? Oh, yeah.

Denise 1:14:39
I mean, I try to dress like I'm not but I stumble when I'm trying to use Slovak. You know, it's hard

Scott Benner 1:14:47
about visually. Like, can I look at you in that setting and think you don't know I'm here.

Denise 1:14:52
No, I don't I don't. I think everybody kind of looks a little different. I mean, everybody's white here. Okay. But I'm also white case you're wondering. Yeah, but people have all different hair colors and stuff. Yeah, I was just wondering, look like

Scott Benner 1:15:12
anything. I didn't know if there was an aesthetic that you don't fit somehow or No,

Denise 1:15:17
no, I don't think so I think you could blend in as long as you could speak and dress properly.

Scott Benner 1:15:22
Gotcha. How is it getting your medical supplies? It's all is that all through the military? Yeah,

Denise 1:15:26
I want them to talk to you about that, actually. So

Scott Benner 1:15:29
why did you bring a possibility of your parents being related? And not just

Denise 1:15:34
I mean, it was kind of a fun thought I thought it better not be true. I know. It's sad, but it's pretty funny to think about. So I can tell you this. So before we even got this assignment, we knew it was on the radar, because the whole reason we moved from Vegas to Virginia was so my husband could take Slovak classes and learn how to do his job in Slovakia. And so we were approved prematurely because they had to go through an approval process before they moved us to Virginia, because there's no point in taking these classes if we weren't going to be approved for the assignment to Slovakia. So then he goes through all these classes, and we knew we would have another medical board that had to meet again, Denise

Scott Benner 1:16:20
microphone again. Oh,

Denise 1:16:24
okay. Can you hear me now?

Scott Benner 1:16:25
Yeah. Where'd you go? What are you walking away from the computer?

Denise 1:16:28
No, I just sat up a little bit. Is this good though? Just get up. I'm in the most uncomfortable,

Scott Benner 1:16:34
I don't care. That's your problem, not mine.

Denise 1:16:36
I'm glad it's working out for you. So anyway, so we knew we'd have to undergo another medical board prior to actually leaving Virginia and moving to Slovakia. And so that second Medical Board, we were actually denied because of my son's type one, because the military doesn't typically move type one families overseas. And if they do, they're gonna go to a base that has a larger military medical facility like Lakenheath in England or, you know, launched or Germany has a big, like the biggest military medical hospital so they have more of the resources to manage it easier. So the board that met they were not keen on the idea of sending us out here, because Slovakia is not a first world country medical system is very different. They were concerned that we wouldn't be able to find a English speaking endocrinologist for him. So there was a myriad of reasons why they didn't want us to come here. But obviously, people out here have type one and type two, and there are providers. And there are ways to get supplies. And there is a Facebook page for military families that are stationed overseas with type ones. So I did a ton of research to make this happen, because it's like my husband's dream job. And I wanted it to work out for him. But I also obviously wanted to keep my kids safe in the process. But I knew if we did the research, we could be just fine. So anyway, so we had to do like a rebuttal. But my husband in the interim was like crushed, because we thought that that was going to be the end. And you know, we were going to submit the rebuttal. But chances are that we weren't gonna be able to come here. Which would mean he did all of that Slovak language learning for nothing, all of those other classes for nothing like that whole year of his life was a complete waste and all that hard work that he put in, you know, so we submitted the rebuttal, and then we were approved. So with that being said, by that point in time, we had already researched endocrinologist and the supplies and everything because we had to submit that and we you know, I'm very well prepared on that kind of stuff. So I had reached out to a foreigners in Bratislava Facebook page and asked if there were any other type one mothers. And if they had a pediatric endocrinologist that they could recommend, and there was one person who I believe is on this page now, because I actually told her about it at the time. She reached out to me and said she had a 13 year old type one, and that her daughter saw this one provider, but she didn't love that provider. However, she knew that the other provider in the office was much better. And she recommended that provider. So we reached out to her and she was like, incredible about getting back to us like I love Europe in the sense that there's no gatekeeper like there's no nurse sitting at the desk preventing you from speaking with a provider. Like she wrote us back that day. We were like, these are all our concerns. Are these going to be able to be managed? You know, like, is there a hospital that can see him in the event of ketoacidosis? Like, do you have glucagon? How would we get her insulin? Is it possible that he can use a T slim blah blah. So she's asked So in Bratislava, initially, we were planning to just go to Austria because Vienna is like an hour away, and their medical system is really great. But Vienna like Austria itself, they don't have the ability to write scripts for the T slim because it's not approved in Austria. So in Bratislava, the T Slim is approved, so we had to find a provider in Bratislava. So she was awesome from the get go really responsive. And when we got here, we were supposed to just meet with her so that she could just write scripts for her for us. And then we had an appointment with her like, a week or two later, but she was so awesome. Like, the hospital is sketchy as you know what looks, it looks like something you would find in a scary movie. At like a psych hospital with like some Red Rum going on. When we pulled up, I was like, oh my god, this is our life. And I know this is really wrong. And I'm not trying to offend anyone in Slovakia, you guys are great people. I just need a preface with that. But it is not aesthetically pleasing at all. It does not look like an American hospital at all. But the provider was incredible super kind. We wanted her because she has type one herself. She's probably late 30s, maybe super nice, really kind to my son wrote all the scripts we needed. We've received insulin here from one of the local pharmacies, the scripts that she wrote for the Dexcom and the T slim, we actually submit them to CBR medical who's out of Germany, and they actually have our first shipment on our way to us. Which is cool because they give us a six month ship and at once which is really nice because dealing with advanced diabetes, I had to you know, message them or whatever call them every three months, which was a big pain in the ass. So yeah, so far things are going well. TRICARE our insurance didn't want to pay for her. They had one other provider in Brighton in Bratislava, that apparently was TRICARE approved. So when I reached out to them, because I was already adamant about seeing this other provider because she was so good to us. And we had established rapport by the time we got here. TRICARE was like we will authorize two visits. But we need you to see the other provider because she's in network. And so I called her to try and make an appointment with them. And she's like, she's booked up and she doesn't even take insurance, you'd have to pay out of pocket. I'm like, What's TRICARE talking about? So then I told TRICARE. A, I couldn't even speak with a woman B, she's booked out for like months and see, she's not even taking insurance. So I don't know what you're talking. Like, if that's the case, you might as well play it pay for the provider that we want, you know? Yeah. So they've approved her, thankfully. So,

Scott Benner 1:22:53
Denise, your connection is getting noisy. So this is an opportune time to say thank you. It's okay. Don't worry. We got through as best as we can. And if people want to hang on for the next 10 minutes, and let us know how hard it was to get you on they can. But it was, it was really nice to talk to you. I hope we thank you. I hope we talked about everything within reason that you wanted to. And did you did you have a good time?

Denise 1:23:17
I did. Yeah. You're fun to talk to. It'd be fun.

Scott Benner 1:23:21
That's true. No, I'm just saying Oh, thank you. I mean, no, I really do appreciate. Can you hold on for one second for me? Yeah, thanks.

A huge thank you to neat. Hey, first, I'd like to thank Denise for coming on the show and sharing her story. And I'm going to thank all the above makers of the AMI pod five and the Omni pod dash and remind you to go to Omni pod.com forward slash juice box links in the show notes, links at juicebox podcast.com. And of course, U S med.com. Forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514. Listen, switching is not fun. Looking into new things isn't fun, but some quality stuff here for you to think about on the pod, US Med and the rest of the sponsors. And if you hold on for just a second, I'm going to play you the 10 minutes of Denise not being able to get her I was going to curse not being able to get her computer setup. Here we go. Oh, before I do that, let me say thank you so much for listening.

Denise 1:24:31
Hey, everyone, my name is Denise and I am the mother of a nine year old type one diabetic child. He's been diagnosed I actually did the math before I came on a year and eight months ago. And at the time he had an A one C of 16 and a blood sugar of 910

Scott Benner 1:24:53
days. Do you remember before we started recording that you said I turned up the volume? Yeah, can you turn it back down a little bit? Yeah, let me hear that.

Denise 1:25:02
Can you hear me? How's that?

Scott Benner 1:25:05
I'm gonna need you to speak another sentence. So he was diagnosed what was his a one, two?

Denise 1:25:10
It was 16 actually.

Scott Benner 1:25:13
Okay. All right. I don't know if like, it turns out a little more. Okay. Am I like super loud sound like Darth Vader

Denise 1:25:22
is that? Oh, cool.

Scott Benner 1:25:26
That might be better. We'll try again. Okay, wow. So a year eight months ago, how old is he now? He is nine. Nine was the seven or eight when he was diagnosed. He was seven.

Denise 1:25:37
October 24 will make two years for us.

Scott Benner 1:25:42
You're up on two years. Okay. Any other kids?

Denise 1:25:47
I have two others. He's a middle guy or only boy. And we have an 11 year old and a seven year old.

Scott Benner 1:25:55
Denise Denise, Denise, Denise, I gotta figure out what to do about your microphone shoot. So you're talking and then behind your words, or? It sounds like it's okay. I think it's just the mic.

Denise 1:26:09
I go down lower. I don't know. Can I test it?

Scott Benner 1:26:12
I mean, if you've if you've been turning down the volume on your end, I don't hear any difference on my end. Really? Yeah. Well, crap, do you have like Apple headphones, just the white wire ones?

Denise 1:26:26
I do, but I can't find them. We moved and I seem to have like misplaced them.

Scott Benner 1:26:32
Is there? Are you using a Mac or PC?

Denise 1:26:37
A Mac? Is there a way to like test your settings and fix them? I'm like kind of computer illiterate unfortunately.

Scott Benner 1:26:44
Are you using the zoom app? Or are you using? Like just a portable app? Alright, so why don't we try this? Or you're on a laptop? Okay, so why don't we try it on my phone? Maybe? Well, I think it's the headset mic. Okay, there's my is my estimation. So if you click on Zoom, and then go to the top left corner where it says zoom.us of the screen all the way up to the top left.

Denise 1:27:14
My screen is like, minimize. Okay, here we go. Top left. What does it say? So it's not aimed at us.

Scott Benner 1:27:22
Okay, you see that? And when you click on that, you go to Preferences. It's the second choice down. Yep. And then audio. Okay, okay. So right now the microphone. What is it set at?

Denise 1:27:38
The input volume, is that what you want?

Scott Benner 1:27:40
There should be after you've clicked on audio on the left, on the right side of the screen, it should say speaker than test speaker and then next to test Speaker It tells you it's like a drop down box. It tells you what Speaker you're using. That should that's probably the headphones.

Denise 1:27:57
Okay, so yeah, it's like in the middle ish. A little further. Now you're

Scott Benner 1:28:02
answering the wrong there's no there's no numbers. Scott. Denise. No, I'm not asking for a number you need you're not listening to. So there's a drop down box next to the word the button that says test speaker next to it on the right is a drop down. What is this Denise's be solo. Great. Now when you move down to microphone, it says test mic and then what's that set toe? That also says the same thing. What are your other options when you click on it?

Denise 1:28:29
built in microphone try that. Is that better? There we go. Can you hear me?

Scott Benner 1:28:38
Yes, that's better. All right. So can you still hear me in your headphones? Can you hear me? Hello? Denise Denise, can you hear me?

Denise 1:28:53
Yeah, so I put on the built in microphone under microphone. Should I? I couldn't hear you at all when I did that. Should I do built in output on the speaker thing instead?

Scott Benner 1:29:05
No. I was hoping for you to use your headphones as the speaker and the microphone on the laptop as the microphone.

Denise 1:29:12
Okay, I couldn't hear you.

Scott Benner 1:29:15
When you did that. You couldn't hear me in the headphones anymore. Now. When you change the microphone, then you couldn't do you have any other headphones

Denise 1:29:26
my kids do.

Scott Benner 1:29:27
So that's what we need because the mic on their laptops. Great. Yeah. And so

Denise 1:29:33
let me see if my daughter can grab some real quick. Take your time. You know what, though? I think they have a wire. I don't know if she has wireless.

Scott Benner 1:29:42
Why? Why do you have these wires? Is that better? Or it's probably better

seriously, take your time.

Denise 1:29:54
Do you have headphones? Can you grab them real quick please? This is gonna be my best setup. So

Scott Benner 1:30:04
first of all, don't be sorry, because we're going to start over. Okay? But I'm putting all of this at the end of the episode so people can listen to it. I've been I've been thinking about doing this for a while now.

Denise 1:30:15
Sure. I would like to curse but I'll be nice

Scott Benner 1:30:20
because I'll bleep it out later.

Denise 1:30:22
Okay. All right. So I have these wired headphones

Scott Benner 1:30:28
now. Okay, so I think you have to turn off disconnect. Yeah, just literally power them off

Denise 1:30:43
Okay, how about now?

Scott Benner 1:30:45
Well, I'm always gonna be able to hear you because you're using the mic on the laptop. Can you hear me in the headphones?

Denise 1:30:51
I can just slow How about can you talk again?

Scott Benner 1:30:53
Hello, testing. Hello. Hello.

Denise 1:30:56
That's better. My voice better now or am I still Darth Vader?

Scott Benner 1:30:59
No, you're good because that you're not using those horrible Beats headphones. They're like frickin expensive. Our horrible. Bluetooth Bluetooth sucks. That's why

Denise 1:31:10
Oh, yeah. Well, that makes me want to like, write them a nasty gram.

Scott Benner 1:31:14
Well, now you're now you're all staticky. though. What are you doing?

Denise 1:31:18
Well, I was moving for a second. Hang on. Just get in position. All right. Can you hear me?

Scott Benner 1:31:25
I can. So if the laptop is on the desk in front of you, or something like that, I imagine.

Denise 1:31:30
It is actually sitting in my bed with a laptop on top of the pillow. Is that a bad situation? Should I put it on the dresser?

Scott Benner 1:31:40
I'm just wondering, I can't wait for people to hear all this. I'm just wondering if you couldn't bring the laptop microphone closer to your face?

Denise 1:31:50
Where is the microphone?

Scott Benner 1:31:52
It's on a laptop. Just bring the laptop close to the knees have you? Better about now, it's pretty good. Just keep your face in one orientation. You know? I mean, like, don't start looking into other corners of the room while you're talking and stuff like that. Okay, all right, because I will be frozen in place because the mic is in this in the central location. Okay, so now I have the last thing I have to figure out is the staticky thing. I'm not sure what that is. Which it didn't. It is.

Denise 1:32:22
Don't mean to relocate to a different parts of the house.

Scott Benner 1:32:26
I mean, are you moving around right now? No, no. Interesting. Unplug the headphones for a second

Can you hear me through the laptop?

Denise 1:32:42
Now,

Scott Benner 1:32:43
can you hear me through the laptop?

Denise 1:32:46
I can hear through my headphones. Plugged you and then I couldn't hear you at all.

Scott Benner 1:32:50
Okay, so I'm in your headphones now. There's something there's a lot of noise. I don't know what it is. You're not moving or scraping or moving blankets or something like that? Nope. Okay. And the Bluetooth or the bluetooth headphones definitely off. Yep. Okay. What was that? What were you just doing just now?

Denise 1:33:16
I was just moving. Okay. I'm not moving right now.

Scott Benner 1:33:21
A Sure. Yes. Like, like, just now like you're not moving at all. Like you're not rustling something?

Denise 1:33:29
Oh, I was laughing. So now. Theater.

Scott Benner 1:33:33
So wait, so the computer is moving when you're laughing? Well, it's

Denise 1:33:37
on my chest. Yeah, we

Scott Benner 1:33:39
don't want to be in that situation. That's

Denise 1:33:43
when we put it on the dresser. We'll see if that defies problem. I'm gonna be in like a padded room by the time we're done here. I'll put it on the floor. I don't

Scott Benner 1:33:55
want to give you pressure here. But this better be a good interview.

Denise 1:33:59
Right? Okay. How is this?

Scott Benner 1:34:04
I mean, you don't have to, like speak a sentence. How about the rain falls? No. How's this? That's better. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, now it's right. You're Are you farther from the laptop now than you used to be?

Denise 1:34:20
No, I'm like right up on top of it in the most uncomfortable position known to man

Scott Benner 1:34:24
back up a little bit because it's not loud. About now Hey, there, don't know now. 20 minutes later, if I took the last 27 recordings I've done and adds up all the difficulties someone's had getting set up. They don't they don't best to you right now.

Denise 1:34:51
Good. Makes me feel better. We're gonna get you.

Scott Benner 1:34:53
Yeah, we're gonna get you. I don't know. Some sort of a website where people can send you headphones. All right, so you hear me through your ears in like in your headphones or you through my

Denise 1:35:05
ears. Excellent. Okay, so my headphones, I am in position and ready to go. Nice let's Shall we freakin begin.

Scott Benner 1:35:19
We absolutely should go ahead and introduce yourself again.

Denise 1:35:22
Okay. All right.

Scott Benner 1:35:26
Hope you enjoy that if you're still here, you should check out the private Facebook group a fantastic place for community. Right now someone is saying something that you need to hear. Or they're asking you a question that you can answer Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook private group, absolutely free 35,000 members. It's a really terrific. Alright, that's long enough. I'm gonna let you go. Have a great day. I'll talk to you soon.

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