#574 Swiper and the Map

OmnipodJuicebox PodcastDexcomInterviewType 1 Diabetes

Nov 9

Ariana is the mom of a young type 1, she also has her own struggles.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello everyone, and welcome to episode 574 of the Juicebox Podcast

Ariana is on the show today she is the mother of a young girl who has type one diabetes. And Arianna has some struggles of her own. Today we're going to talk about all of that on the Juicebox Podcast. While we're having that discussion, I'd like it if you could remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box and fill out the brief survey that you will find there. That's it. You'll help people with type one diabetes and you'll support the show T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. Looking for community around type one diabetes, look no farther than the Juicebox Podcast group on Facebook Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes over 17,000 people talking everyday about type one

this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored. I just pause so long that I forgot what I was gonna say. Let me do it again. This episode of the podcast is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. Head over to contour next one.com Ford slash juicebox. To learn more about the most accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter that I've ever held. There. See I got it no problem. There are links in the ship. Boy, I'm a mess this morning here. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at Juicebox Podcast comm to these and all of the sponsors. Please click the links. Alright, here comes Ariana

Arianna 2:28
talk and you talking at the same time?

Scott Benner 2:31
Hold on, you're being recorded now. So you know okay. It's weird. Okay. It's Oh, it's weird. Just not hearing just my voice.

Arianna 2:38
Yeah, I've seen pictures of you and heard your voice but not together at

Scott Benner 2:43
the same time. I have to admit, I don't normally look at people while I'm doing this, but I enjoy watching your smile. So Oh, yeah. Like you seem happy at the moment. And yeah, I've deluded myself into believing that's because you and I are meeting and you're happy? Yes. Oh, is that true? Yes. My wife ever hears this. I'm leaving this part in. Okay. So go ahead and introduce yourself.

Arianna 3:08
I'm Arianna. And I'm Dora's mom. She is almost eight, and was diagnosed. A little less than two years ago.

Scott Benner 3:20
Okay. So she was diagnosed when she was six. And I am now under a lot of pressure to remember as much about Dora the Explorer as I can so I can make silly jokes throughout the hour. We'll see what I can. At the moment, all I have is Swiper in the map. So we'll see where I go from there. Okay, she was diagnosed two years ago when she was six. Yes. Okay. Do you have type one? I do not know. Do you have anything celiac? Thyroid?

Arianna 3:50
Nope. Allergies.

Scott Benner 3:52
I have allergy sometimes to How about in your family line? Your mom Grandmother, father?

Arianna 4:01
No. In our family, there's type two, and gestational. And very, very distant. Like, great, great. Great. Great. Great, great aunt had type one.

Scott Benner 4:17
Yeah, that's a that's family line. Alright, and I can't the Dora have a dad. She has a dad. No, not your Dora the one from the cartoon?

Arianna 4:29
I don't know. See.

Scott Benner 4:30
That's what I've been thinking for the last 30 seconds. I'm like,

Arianna 4:34
I know Dora the Explorer. How to Mom. All right. Well,

Scott Benner 4:37
I mean, everybody gets a mom. But I mean, I guess everybody gets it, dad. So hold on a second Dora the Explorer, this assistant father.

Unknown Speaker 4:48
Yeah

Scott Benner 4:54
she does have a father. His name is Cole Marquez. He's the father of Dora. Isabella and a husband of Miami. He and his wife appeared in several episodes of Dora the Explorer. I hope he gets residuals. Okay, I don't think he I can't believe that. Okay. Dora has a father. How about your father? How about your daughter's father? We all together. Yeah. Nice.

Arianna 5:23
Watching them right now inside.

Scott Benner 5:27
Alright, cool. So we have a nice little family unit going on. Are there any other kids?

Arianna 5:34
Yes. A three year old?

Scott Benner 5:36
A three year olds. Oh, wow. Okay, cool. All right. So why did you want to be on the podcast?

Arianna 5:44
I wanted to talk about the struggles of the caretaker, with their own mental health and how it impacts the management of the child's diabetes.

Scott Benner 5:59
Okay. Is this something you're just wildly concerned about? For other people or something you're going through?

Arianna 6:06
Something having gone through?

Scott Benner 6:08
Let's start at the beginning then which is the best place to start. When Dora's diagnosed, can you kind of describe how it made you feel?

Arianna 6:21
A sense of relief?

Scott Benner 6:23
Oh, okay. Well, there was an answer I didn't expect. So she had been sick, I'm guessing and you didn't know what was going on.

Arianna 6:30
She had been having night terrors for about two years. And I'm pretty sure that that was her first symptom. Could they tantrums during out throughout the day, because of a lack of sleep? Right. And, you know, then it progressed. And about nine months before diagnosis, I took her to the pediatrician about her excessive water drinking. And she brushed it off as allergies. Okay, then we moved States

Scott Benner 7:14
took it away from that doctor for other reasons.

Arianna 7:18
For other reasons, um, and when we moved, we unknowingly traveled 16 hours in a car with the type one diabetic. And we had to wait about six weeks to see her pediatrician here. And she was very concerned, she was shocked that the pediatrician before brushed it off and came up with a game plan. And we found out two hours later, four hours later that her blood sugar was 1070.

Scott Benner 8:01
Jesus. That's insane. And that was the beginning. Well, let me go back for a little bit. Next question then. So dealing with night terrors for a long time with a young child. I mean, even if that's the only thing that ever happened. That seems like a lot. That's not something. Yeah, like when you're like, 1820 25 like you don't want me to get married and have a kid like you never think it'll wake up in the middle night screaming like someone's trying to murder it. So she was there. She wasn't she just seemed gone. Yeah. Alright. Okay. And so do you? Do you? Are you supposed to wake them up? Like, what's the process.

Arianna 8:43
Night terrors are similar to like night walking, or sleepwalking? Where you don't really want to wake them up because they're not awake. So basically, we tried everything not to get too deep into that still processing all of that and therapy. But it was tough, cuz some of the time I was pregnant, and then had a newborn and my husband was working nights. So it was not a fun situation. It definitely played a factor in my mental health.

Scott Benner 9:21
Okay, so that so let me let me ask you prior to this, did you have any issues with your mental health prior to that?

Arianna 9:29
Um, yes, but nothing to where I needed to seek help.

Scott Benner 9:37
Okay, so what I felt you felt okay. Can you give me like a brief like high level overview of how you felt prior to that, like what are the some of the things you were struggling

Arianna 9:47
with? Oh, um, some of its personal don't, but some of it was very last down. I was not present in my body. For context, my diagnosis is PTSD with depressive mood and anxiety. Okay. So some PTSD from a personal experience when his daughter was really when door was really little. That got suppressed a little bit. And then as the night terrors continued, it exacerbated everything, to say the least.

Scott Benner 10:37
Alright, so I'm very interested, but I think us having our video on is messing up our signal. Can you shut yours off? I'm sorry. Yeah, but let's see if that if that helps a little bit. So, okay, so you had something going on, we're not going to dig into. And it was, you know, it was there, and you were managing. And then you have a new baby, only a few years old, and she's having night terrors. And then that sort of just pushes you a little farther, I guess. Yes. Okay. And then it pushed you have much farther? Yes. Do you have context for why? Meaning? Was it the concern for her? Was it the adrenaline from someone screaming in the middle of the night? Like, was it the wonder of is, when is this going to happen? Like, what about it? Do you know?

Arianna 11:29
I'm, I'm sure lack of sleep played a huge factor. Because at the end, so in the last six months of her night tears before diagnosis, it was guaranteed she would have at least one that would last at least 30 minutes in the middle of the night. But then they continued. And sometimes it was two or three times in the middle of the night. Mind you. I had a new one. Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 12:00
So it kind of mimic the unpredictable scheduling. Some people will talk about low blood sugars, like get a low blood sugar overnight, you fix it, you think, Oh, this is it. And then 20 minutes later, it's low again. And like that, and so there was never the idea that a you were safe to go to sleep or be that even if you fix the problem, that it was gonna stay fixed.

Arianna 12:22
There was no fixing, and I had no one to help. She just lived through

Scott Benner 12:25
it. Yeah. Oh, so it's a process. So it's a problem. Additionally, that there's no fix for it. So there's just Wallaces happening. You just hold her or what do you do? Are they violent?

Arianna 12:44
I don't remember much of her night terrors other than they were horrifying. To have to not see your child in your child is an experience that's

Scott Benner 13:00
interesting. So she's like a zombie. And there's no connection to the kind of vessel you see in front of you in the person, you know?

Arianna 13:07
Yes. And her lack of sleep affected her daytime mood. Yeah. So it was a never ending cycle.

Scott Benner 13:17
And then are you saying that she goes on insulin and night terror stop? And that's that?

Arianna 13:21
Pretty much?

Scott Benner 13:24
Huh? Did a doctor offer you any explanation for that?

Arianna 13:30
Um, one of the diabetes educators in the hospital said she probably was type one for a while because of how high her agency was, and that it's not uncommon if you're sleeping and have high blood sugars to have wacky dreams or have nightmares. Okay. So, in my belief, and knowing my child, I'm 100% positive of the night tears were a result of high blood sugars.

Scott Benner 14:11
And they have stopped.

Arianna 14:13
Um, I think we had five diagnosis. And that was in the first two months after diagnosis.

Scott Benner 14:29
So in the last 18 months, you haven't seen one? No, oh, wow. Well, then let's hope that that was not. Yeah, but that's crazy, isn't it? Yes. So you, you move, luckily, and get to a doctor that understands that, you know, extreme thirst and small children's not to be ignored. You get your diagnosis. Did when the night terrors stopped? Did you go huh? Like is that The first time you saw the connection between that and diabetes like I imagine she wasn't diagnosed with diabetes, and you were just like, well Torres diabetes. I imagine these night terrors are gonna stop now that we give her insulin. Like I bet you you were surprised when they stopped.

Arianna 15:13
I'm sorry, I'm thinking Don't Don't

Scott Benner 15:19
be sorry. dramatic pauses are great. People aren't sure if you're crying. Oh, I wonder if she's upset? Do you think he made her upset with a stupid questions? People are not upset.

Arianna 15:34
I think I was more surprised at the light that returned in her eyes that had been missing. When she had been on insulin for 12 hours. It's quick. And then I knew like she had a massive night tear in the hospital that kind of scared some of the teaching doctors had X ray her foot. I won't go into details. Um, but I knew she had returned.

Scott Benner 16:08
That insulin hits her and you just sort of see the life come back and the person you know, in their face and everything is there all of a sudden?

Arianna 16:15
Yeah, took a while, you know, but I saw signs that she was back. And I knew and I knew in that moment that things were were better. There was a answer to the night tears. There was an answer to the mood there was I was gonna get my child back.

Scott Benner 16:35
Does that relief? lessen your burden?

Arianna 16:42
Um, I mean, it creates a new burden of caretaking.

Scott Benner 16:47
Well, yeah, no. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's what I was getting to, is it you you went from like, these night terrors, and this worry and, and the struggle of dealing with them and the endlessness of it too well, the night terror stuff put, we switched it for diabetes. And I was wondering if at least that felt my guess then it wouldn't have felt manageable in the beginning. It never feels manageable.

Arianna 17:11
Um, you know, I, some of the parents on your podcast, I've heard them be devastated. After diagnosis, I do not have that. I had, like I said, sense of relief. I had hope that was gone for a while. And while managing diabetes is not fun, or easy. It it was healing in a way. And it was a relief. And it I knew that my daughter was okay.

Scott Benner 17:57
Okay. I think having answers is an incredible relief. And even if the answer is, you know, you have to use insulin now. And there's parts of your pancreas that aren't working so great, etc. At least it's an answer, because the the not knowing to me is maybe just as bad as the knowing, you know, like, at least we know, you can do something. Yeah, yeah. All right. I believe in that. Okay, so what was management? Like in the beginning? I mean, what what did they teach in the hospital? And what was it like when you got home?

Arianna 18:33
Oh, um, you know, pretty much the standard of don't die rules for sure. I was actually lucky that one of the, actually, one of the diabetes educators in the hospital was type one. And the other had children that were type one. So they were living in it. And I didn't get the 1515 rule. I got the 10 grams of carbs for 15 minutes. Rule. So not as bad I couldn't imagine if we did 15 But she at least had the hay Dora's kind of small. We don't need 15 would probably be too many carbs for her. But other than that, you know, checking in. Oh, 274 Right now she's a month into diagnosis. That's fine. We're okay with that sort of thing.

Scott Benner 19:39
How much does she weigh when she was diagnosed about

Arianna 19:42
like 4849 pounds?

Scott Benner 19:46
Does she put any weight on afterwards? Haha, yes. Right. Because she it seems like she had it for a while.

Arianna 19:54
Yes. Um, yeah, she's she's a solid now.

Scott Benner 20:01
Oh, well, that's great. Hey, listen, I have a weird question that you might not know how to answer. If she didn't have night terrors. Was there other indicators about her behavior that would have led you to believe something was wrong?

Arianna 20:16
Yes. Can when I realized that it was really wrong, we were in the process of moving. So, and I obviously didn't trust her pediatrician. So what was I going to do? Um, yes, her obsession with water was so bad. It was traumatizing. Her obsession with food. Like she ate as much as a 300 pound football player would eat. Um, he didn't necessarily

Scott Benner 20:55
I'm sorry that that flourishes eating was that at the end before diagnosis or Had that been going on for a while.

Arianna 21:04
It increased over time. And I just thought it was a growth spurt for a while. And then it continued in three full breakfast, and then a snack and then two lunches and snacks. And like three servings of dinner is ridiculous.

Scott Benner 21:23
Yeah, there's a physiological reason for that. Arden, at the very end was like, could barely move. She was just she was a husk of a person. But still, if you put food in her, she ate like, shit, like a little kid you find in the woods in a science fiction movie. You know what I mean? Like that, like she's been gone for three months. And here they put food in front of you sit there and just like, pushes it towards her face. Arda was eating like that at the end and would explode. Yeah. With your and not passing bowel movements, or Yes.

Arianna 21:58
Oh, yeah, fine. Totally. I

Scott Benner 22:00
was fine.

Arianna 22:01
The thing. The thing that changed like was her body. She didn't really lose weight, because she was eating all the time. She was full of food. But she got incredibly skinny, but had like a pregnant belly.

Scott Benner 22:16
Interesting. At the, the handful of days before Arden's diagnosis, she was still in a diaper. And her bowel movements were hard. They were crushable like you, you could pinch them and they would break apart like, like a dirt ball that baked in the sun. It was yeah, she could barely get them out. Just really, I don't know I enjoying. I'm oddly enjoying talking through this with you. Because I am assuming it's in the last two years now that you know more dawned on you that she was really on the edge of death your daughter?

Arianna 22:52
Yeah, she um, yeah, there was some some real stuff going on that was extended, but, you know, health care providers that actually listen to you. Big deal, um, is incredibly important. And I'm so thankful for her pediatrician. And the fact that we moved and thank goodness nothing happened. I mean, feeding a diet unknown diabetic. pancakes and syrup while in the car, like it could have been disastrous.

Scott Benner 23:23
Yeah, you were close. You really were I wonder how long it was like that. But I mean,

Arianna 23:28
and she was the craziest thing she was only mild DKA

Scott Benner 23:33
Yeah. Well, it's interesting if her body was kicking back in once in a while and fixing that blood sugar and then driving it way up again and then you know, you could see why our by our system was all messed up and were those night terrors and everything. Okay, totally

Arianna 23:49
look back and have answers and go oh, yeah, she was eating because she was starving to death but and just the energy was so low. I'm like you don't go to a brand new park and then just sit on the grass. So there were things that were for sure going going on. But

Scott Benner 24:14
we stood in front of the ocean and she did not appear to know it was there I remember that I remember putting her down on the beach and she didn't have any reaction to that at all. She just scary stood perfectly still. Yeah it's interesting in hindsight, right? Where you can go back and figure out afterwards you know, like after like your, you know, your your spouse of 20 years cheats on you. You start going Oh, nobody gets fro yo every night it's seven o'clock. I should have figured that out. You know, there's there's the things that looks super obvious afterwards that during their during it, you just don't say, you know, totally,

Arianna 24:51
and we were living with my mom. Before we left willingly. Everybody thinks it's odd and I don't know In she's a retired nurse from the ER, and she was like there's something off. But like, I don't really know, like it was clear as day in our eyes. But like, she wasn't necessarily like dying. So was I really going to take her the ER, like I didn't with a newborn, I was highly confused. And then we moved in three weeks. So then it threw everything off.

Scott Benner 25:29
So are you younger, too?

Arianna 25:32
I'm almost 32.

Scott Benner 25:33
So you just look really? Alright, nevermind.

Arianna 25:36
Yes, I do. Like you.

Scott Benner 25:37
If you told me like, if you told me you had her when you were 12? I'd be like, Yeah, I believe that. Because you, you look very young. So I get that all the time. Yeah, I just wanted to be certain because that could be a contributing factor. If you are a really young mother, it's easy to not be as thoughtful about stuff like that, you know,

Arianna 25:58
I was very in tune with her. It's just you have a doctor that doesn't listen. And then you don't trust that doctor? And then what do you do? Like I don't? What was I supposed to? Like? I really don't know what I was supposed to do other than nobody wanted to take our insurance at the time. And I had a newborn like, we're planning on moving like, at a certain point. It's just kind of like, well, we'll get a doctor when we get there.

Scott Benner 26:29
You needed somebody in that moment to step forward and say, Hey, I see there's a real problem here. We're not coming to a resolution. I'm going to help you figure out what this is not put it on you to do the exact right thing with the exact right person that I think that happens with a lot of health care. Yeah, I don't I don't think it's I don't even know that it's anybody's fault. But it's just that if you don't, if you don't ask the right questions, and have the right things occur to you, and how are you really in control of that? Then you don't even know the right questions to ask to spark an idea in a doctor's head. And, you know, I've just learned over the years that there have been as many issues resolved in my family medically from us figuring it out. Yeah, maybe even more so than from a doctor figuring it out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So.

Arianna 27:26
And then, honestly, it was lack of her pediatrician. Because so we had one appointment. I can't remember if it was November or December before her diagnosis, where she goes, it's just allergies, come back in a month, came back in a month. It wasn't getting any better. I stopped counting how much water she was drinking at 100 ounces. And that wasn't even the whole day. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 27:54
Well, here's the truth. But it's, it'll seem a little disconnected. But my son was given a steroid pack for something. And he was told, like, in a week, this will be better. Well, three days later, it was worse, not better. And I drug his as right back to the doctor's office. I was like, This isn't working. And I think most people would have just waited the four days. I just I don't I've just been through this one too many times. Do you know what I mean? There's Yes, once common sense, but you don't. But I'm not judging you either. for not doing that. I'm just saying that. It's it's uncommon for somebody to do what I did, and more common for someone to do what you did. And the

Arianna 28:33
only reason why I waited was because Oh, and she had said give her Claritin, I stopped after two weeks. I was like, this isn't allergies. I'm not giving her clarity and just to give her clarity. I have allergies. I've lived with them my whole life. I know what allergies are. It's not allergies,

Scott Benner 28:51
and excessive. Excessive thirst got you told Claritin for four year old five year old. Yes. Wow. Was it really a doctor? Did you meet this person at a strip mall by any chance?

Arianna 29:06
Um, no, she was her doctor from birth? Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:09
Geez. Well, hopefully it's really you're good.

Arianna 29:13
I'm just I had issues with this doctor. I took her. For example, I took her when she was little for a diaper rash that I was 100%. Certain that was thrush. On the Friday. She said it's not thrush. Fine. Then I went home. We spent the weekend it continued to get worse. If you let diaper rash thrush get worse. It starts to bleed. Let's just say that next Monday. I took her back to the same doctor. And she was like, oh, yeah, it's thrush.

Scott Benner 29:48
She figured it out. I told you that don't get sick on Fridays. That's a bad idea. You get I mean,

Arianna 29:55
like yeah, just imagine any issues.

Scott Benner 30:00
At three o'clock in the afternoon on a Friday, I come to you with a big problem. You'd be like, Oh, I'm so close to the weekend. Are you sure you can just wait three days for?

Arianna 30:10
The same thing happened with my second daughter? She told me it wasn't. I was like, it's thrush. Please just give it its thrush. Stop. That's interesting. So we already had issues with her. But there was the type of insurance we had we are lower income. Nobody was taking new patients with our insurance, so there was pretty much nowhere to go. So I just said, fine. It's allergies. I know it's not allergies. But whatever we'll try. It waited two weeks. Claritin did nothing. So I stopped. And then I decided to monitor and her water intake and stopped counting because I got to 100 and was done. Hey, we are back.

Scott Benner 30:59
I want to ask you a question. When you said we couldn't able to take our insurance. We're lower income is the inference that when you don't have a fancy insurance policy to throw around or money to pay, co pays or or you know, a doctor cash if you have to? If you can't get help, then you're I'm asking I don't know. Like, do you get less qualified doctors? Yes. So you get like the ones that couldn't get a job where they do take insurance and they can charge you more money, etc.

Arianna 31:36
I mean, they're definitely they have too many patients. Um, and you're kind of stuck, because the amount of paperwork that they have to do is more than they want to do. And more than they get paid to do. I do feel bad for them. Don't get me wrong, they have a lot to do. And pediatricians have child's lives in their hands. And they have to also deal with the parents too. So I do have an understanding. But it it wasn't just them. It was also me too. You shouldn't have to go to the ER and see your doctor six times before getting a referral to an OB for an ovarian cyst. So it's not just that, yeah, it's not. And it's also the area we were in, right? overpopulated makes a difference to Yeah, where where we're at now. Oh, we have absolutely amazing doctors, and the same type of insurance. And I, I wouldn't change it for the

Scott Benner 32:41
world. Okay, that's interesting, because that's what I was trying to figure out. And I'm not I'm not generally saying that, you know, it's not like the chef at John George doesn't work at McDonald's. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that, you know, you start getting people with fewer job opportunities. And then you get and then you put them into it's not it's not a condemnation of the person. It's more of the system and just the I'm trying to look at it the way it works. Not for sure. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like there's just the way the mechanism works. So yeah, you know, if you're in that scenario is yeah, it's it's an unfortunate scenario, it really is. So, but now, having gone through all of that, you're also still you and you still have the issues that you're dealing with. So are you seeking out like therapy mental health like through this entire thing. G voc hypo pan has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is G voc hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about, all you have to do is go to G voc glucagon.com. Ford slash juicebox. G evoke shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit G Vogue. glucagon.com/brisk. Just going to remind you here again, T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Take the survey if you're a US resident. I just saw it again online the other day, someone put up a photo of their meter and their Dexcom. Why does this Dexcom not work? Look, my meter says this and Dexcom says that while they're holding up a brand new Dexcom, right, that's the latest and greatest technology that they have. And they're holding up a meter that looks like it's 35 years old and has been hit by four different cars. And for some reason they think the meter must be right. Well, I get that idea. And meters are amazing and everyone should have one but you can't use a junky one and then expect it to give you good results. Instead, you should find an accurate meter, something that is cutting edge, like the Contour. Next One, the Contour. Next One blood glucose meter has Second Chance test strips, which means if you touch the blood and don't get enough, that's no big deal, you just go back and get the rest, not to say that it needs a lot of blood, it doesn't. But I'm just saying, you know, sometimes you mess up. And you don't want to have to waste the test trip or have to wonder if the test result is inaccurate, because you've put on some blood and then come back and put on more Second Chance test trips. The Contour Next One is also easy to hold. And it's easy to transport in your purse or your pocket or wherever you keep your diabetes gear. It has an incredibly bright light for dark times, you know, not like dark times, like what was me, I can't get out of this funk. But when the lights are off, and there's no sun dark times, I guess I should have said at night. It's too late now. And it has an amazing app, if you want to use it, it'll sync to your Android or iPhone. Now if you want more data, right to track, it has that. But if you don't want to use the app, it doesn't matter, you can just use the meter by itself. And it's wonderful. It is literally the easiest to hold, most accurate meter that I've ever used with my daughter. Contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. On top of all that it's a really comprehensive website, website. Did I say website the first time, it's a really comprehensive website, that will explain everything you need to know. And you can even see other meters that they have there. In fact, there's a test strip savings program, you could look into some people are eligible to get the meter for free and the meter doesn't really cost very much. Actually, it could cost you less in cash than you're paying for your current meter through your insurance. And that crazy, you might be paying more through your insurance to feed test strips into your old janky meter that doesn't work, then it would cost you just reach in your pocket to buy the Contour. Next One. It's amazing. I mean, I'm not sure if that's going to be the situation for you. But you should go find out contour next one.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes, links at Juicebox Podcast COMM When you support the sponsors, you're supporting the show.

Arianna 37:19
Yes, slow. On top of the night tears and having two kids, I noticed I needed some help. I was not feeling I was not there. So I'm where we were living before I sought help. And I saw her for maybe six months, maybe a little more. And then we moved on. And I thought I was okay here until I wasn't. And then my doctor was like, I think you should see a therapist. And I said I pretty sure you're right. Um, so I I sought out a therapist, which is a feat in itself. And I found one that I absolutely love who actually gave me a diagnosis. I hadn't had a diagnosis prior, or that I knew up. And I've been seeing her for about six months, and things are so much better.

Scott Benner 38:30
Hey, this is gonna maybe just be 100% Wrong. But have you ever been tested for hypothyroidism? Or Hashimotos?

Arianna 38:39
Um, I had my thyroid tested. Because my cycle decided to disappear. And it came back normal.

Scott Benner 38:52
What came back in range? Or do you know what the number was?

Arianna 38:58
Um, I could probably look through my stuff, but it came back in range.

Scott Benner 39:07
Sorry about that. The reason I ask is because the range for thyroid and this might not be your case, but but lack of energy, depression, hair loss, menstruation changes, all kinds of different things are controlled by your thyroid. And you'll get this test and they'll say oh, it's in range. But there are like ninja level thyroid doctors that will treat your thyroid level if your TST if your TSH is over two and there are plenty people who will come back at four or five and they'll be like, Oh, you're in range, you're fine, but a tiny bit of hot thyroid hormone ends up changing a lot of that stuff for people. So I've known people who and spoken to people who thought they were depressed who I really needed a thyroid medication who, you know, thought they had all other kinds of issues that need a thyroid medication. So like when you go look at that test, if that TSH is over two, it's worth going to a doctor that will treat your symptoms, not just the number. Does that make sense?

Arianna 40:21
I also had whatever the testing is for autoimmune diseases, because of allergies. Um, and because Dora has an autoimmune disease. And it came back negative. So

Scott Benner 40:41
they are the the, the antibody testing, they did that during the thyroid

Arianna 40:47
was separate. But yes, everything. Everything came back. Normal.

Scott Benner 40:54
Okay, yeah, I saw I can be 1,000,000% Wrong. I just get real sad when I know that people miss that. And it's such a simple thing.

Arianna 41:01
Oh, totally. There is some thyroid issue in my family history somewhere. I don't know exactly where but I've been told by my mother. That

Scott Benner 41:12
is, yeah, I would want to know what your test said. It came?

Arianna 41:17
Yeah, things came back in range. And you know, while there's always the possibility of, you know, something like that, I can tell you therapy has completely changed my life.

Scott Benner 41:32
Yeah, I'm not disregarding any of the things that you figured out your mental health at all, I was just saying, like, for everybody listening on top of you, like, you have to understand that when I'm doing this with you, I'm also trying to think of what the people listening are thinking about too. So of course, I'm doing a little of both talking to everybody. And just you at the same time, I tricked them. By talking to you, do you see what I'm saying. But I'm talking to the rest of you, unless you're hearing my voice in your head when you don't have your earphones on. And that in that case, that's not real. And you should see. And for all of you ladies that are talking lately about on popping up in your dreams, it's weird, but keep telling me, it's also under, thank you very much. Okay, so you're, you're getting better. And at the same time, you're figuring things out for your daughter. But to go back to what your email said about how the diabetes impacted your mental health. Is there anything you want people to know? Is there something you wish you had known? What did you figure out? And then I want to ask you some stuff about type one.

Arianna 42:41
I think I figured out that it's okay to let go a little bit. Because, because it's okay to let them be a kid. It's okay to focus on yourself. It's okay to not have perfect graphs, it's okay to continue to put in the effort. And all that it takes to learn and manage type one with a growing child. But it's also okay to take a step back and realize

Scott Benner 43:22
you don't have to get it all right on the first day.

Arianna 43:26
Well, even over time, I worked really, really, really hard in the beginning, I studied her graphs I headed down and then we got the pump to swim. Yeah. Things change, it's a totally different world and realizing, okay, you have to go back to basics. You You have to almost relearn diabetes, it's okay if extend Bolus does not work for your child. And it's okay to let go of striving for a number in the fives and a one C in the five, which is incredibly wonderful, but not at your own detriment. If it's hurting your mental health and doing more damage for you than good. It's okay to step back. I'm not saying sitting within a one seeing the 10s is okay. But it's okay to let go of the graph studying it's okay to put your oxygen mask on first and realizing that they're getting insulin that they probably weren't getting before, and that is absolutely better than nothing. And it's okay to step aside and focus on You so that you can be in the best spot possible to teach them how to manage their own diabetes. Okay.

Scott Benner 45:13
I, so there's a tipping point. And if it gets too far one way, then you're no help at all. Yeah, right. Yeah. And so you're trying to keep a balance of your sanity? and general health about type one? Yes, I gotcha. It's easy for the overwhelming nature of learning about type one to consume you. And then yeah, how to get lost.

Arianna 45:45
Yeah, and if you're somebody that has, you know, anxiety, and some of my anxiety has to do with her numbers, I've had to stop looking at her graph as often. Because it was it was taking over, it's, it's okay to, you know, I went from having her alarm at 122, putting out 150 for my own sanity. And that's okay, because we're still catching it early, and readjusting my goals for her, because she's healthy, she's growing. She's learning, she's smart. All of these things. She doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to get her diabetes, perfect. If it takes, you know, five minutes of showing her because she's younger, how to read the nutrition label on something and judge how much she's eating, and how much insulin she's going to need, along with having her do the math herself. So teaching her those things, and maybe not getting insulin in her five minutes sooner just to do it. That's okay. Because she's learning something out of it. Okay, it doesn't have to.

Scott Benner 47:16
I'm sorry, I cut you off. But it was there. Was there beyond your own motherly instincts and your desire to do well for Dora? It? Was there anything that made you feel like everything had to be perfect? Like, why did everything? Do you have a knot? Why, like, tell me why? Because you're wrong. And you know, but do you? Can you imagine what the influences were? That made that feel like the most important thing in the world?

Arianna 47:46
Yes, because when she has high blood sugar for too long, I can see the child pre diagnosis. Okay. The mood changes. I was worried about night terrors. I was worried about the tantrums that happened I was worried about she fights with her sister more when her blood sugar is higher. So I was concerned about keeping my child that I got back.

Scott Benner 48:20
So where are we? How long did it take you to figure out that you couldn't do that?

Arianna 48:29
Um, a little over a year.

Scott Benner 48:33
Okay. And where's her a onesie at now? For example.

Arianna 48:39
I have no idea. We haven't had it. The last time we had it. It was a 5.7. And I felt which was great. And wonderful. And I cried, and I remember hearing your voice in my head, saying, This is what it feels like to you know, you're like, Hey, keep doing what you're doing. Like, see you next time.

Scott Benner 49:04
Yeah, like, it's just gonna stay here and you're just gonna keep it so. So are you tracking are on any kind of app right now? Like, since you've kind of made this adjustment to not being so closely guarded about stuff? Do you know? Do you know? I mean, can you guess where it is? Like through Do you have Dexcom? Like through clarity or sugar majors? Yeah. And I don't look at it. Okay.

Arianna 49:29
Um, I think a lot I mean, I look at it every once in a while just to see where she's at. But she's probably under 6.5. Like, I want to say on average, her blood sugar's around 120 Like an average for the day. But I I manage as we go, and I try not to look at I try not to Look at it so much, because I try not to keep her in the two hundreds. So I know, I know that she's okay. I know that, you know, above 140s, you know, there can be long term damage and yada yada. But I know that on average, you know, I do have my goals, I'd prefer her to be under 100 When she wakes up, I'd, you know, I look to make sure how stable her line was, if it was 150 all night, and stable. I'm cool with it. I'm not gonna like, I can't lose the sleep over it anymore. I can't hurt myself over it anymore. while still being safe. And acknowledging what's happening. I still try to catch the highs. Like I still, I still try to catch the lows, but I'm not so Dare I say obsessive over it?

Scott Benner 51:03
Do you think that they'll be enough time that can pass where your growth and understanding of how to do things in general will just lead to lower stability without trying?

Arianna 51:17
Oh, I've done it for sure. There's been days where I'm like, her blood sugar was around 100 all day, and I barely thought about diabetes. And it was super easy. So there's totally been days like that. But I think for my mental health right now and the things that I'm processing in therapy, that I I need to stay here for a moment. Need to continue to process you know the time in my life when she was having night terrors and how that affected me and I have more processing that I I have to do, but I will come back to it. Like I still every once in a while maybe like once a month I come back to Okay, let's reevaluate what's been going on like her her Basal rate at this time probably needs to be adjusted or you know, but I do give myself some more leeway, but she's not. And I think because I worked so hard in the beginning and got her a one C down to a diagnosis, she was 17.6 to a 5.7 in just over a year. Well, I think I gave myself some leeway to cut can I give us grace? Can

Scott Benner 52:45
I ask a question? If like this is hard to imagine, cuz I'm gonna make you make something up. But if whatever happened to you personally, the gave you the issues you have and the PTSD and all that stuff. If that did not happen in your life, do you think the diabetes stuff would have been less overwhelming?

Arianna 53:06
It probably would have been more how so? Um, I've learned far too much about myself through processing all of my traumas, and kind of what makes me tick. To to know that this is this is just something if I hadn't dealt with those things and learned what I've learned. It would have been harder.

Scott Benner 53:48
Are you saying that your trauma drove you to learn more about yourself which create a betterment that would not have existed without the trauma you wouldn't have gone and looking for that Betterment without it? Yes. Okay. So you have a better clearer understanding of who you are and why you do what you do. But you still have the residual effect of the actual thing that happened to you. Yes, okay.

Arianna 54:13
I, I have an understanding of what makes me tick, I have more understanding of coping mechanisms, and my communication skills have gotten so much better. And it's just made me that much stronger. Mentally. Then, like, I probably would, I probably would have had the same feelings that some of the other parents have just devastated and wishing for the normal. And, you know, just that loss that happens. Don't get me wrong. I grieved some of those things too. But going through what I've gone through, gave me this fire, this determination and strength within myself that I don't think I had before.

Scott Benner 55:21
Is there a pathway that you're looking for or aware of? Or is your therapist helping you? I mean, I want to ask you, okay, so to boil it down to simple stuff, right? If, if I walk outside and somebody throws a rock at my head, and it hits me in the head, and it causes me damage, and I can do the work to come back from the damage that it's done, but I can't seem to let go of the memory of the rock being thrown at me. So every time I go outside, I have this underlying anxiety. How do we let go of remembering that the rocket thrown at me? Is that possible? Is that are you hopeful about that? Or is that not something you're considering right now.

Arianna 56:09
There's so something I've personally been working on in therapy and what my therapist calls timestamping. So, and I'm no longer living in my trauma, there's a timestamp, that feels like a time that happened. Whereas when you're still in that trauma, it feels like it's still happening, you still like you still feel like you're in it. So some of my trauma has been timestamped, some of the trauma that has come from the night terrors, and all of that prior to diagnosis hasn't fully been time stamped yet. So it's something that I'm working on. I think, once I process some of that, and get some of that time stamped, it'll definitely bring me to a place where I can be more. I don't want to say more active in her diabetes management, because I'm still active. I'm the sole caretaker, I do all of that. All right, where I can come back to it with a more

clear mind a more present mind. So processing it is definitely needed. But I needed to process the other stuff. First.

Scott Benner 57:46
I don't have anxiety. But I know enough people who do and I've spoken to so many people that have that. I understand it, I think enough, you know, but I don't have any, like personal contextualization for the idea that that you always feel at like, I never feel anxious about anything. And so like, you know what I mean, I know, you've probably heard that and you're like, well bottle that because that I would like and so and so I can deal with and I think many people listening to this, who don't have anxiety, who I'm sure feel for you right now, but don't, again, have any context for it. They don't understand like when something goes wrong, I fix it and then I I never think about it again. And I never wonder if it's going to happen again. And that's a I'm realizing talking to you and having talked to other people in the past. What a just a general blessing that is to not have to worry about that. Because otherwise, you just always feel like a saber toothed Tigers gonna jump on your back and rip your head off. And you have that, that that heightened sense of whatever that is inside of your body. So do you take medication for that? Or is it just therapy you're doing?

Arianna 59:00
Oh, yes, I am on daily medication and then I have what's called emergency medication.

Scott Benner 59:08
So something like a panel or something like that if you have an attack, I'm guessing like to say but like in that in that range, like something that like lowers your heart rate and shows you the hell out like a lot of stuff.

Arianna 59:21
Yeah, it definitely brings me down to level two. Yes, so when there's some high stress stuff, I definitely you use that and along with my therapy coping mechanisms. I I try not to take the emergency medicine. Too often I tried to use all my skills and coping mechanisms first, but it's there when I need it.

Scott Benner 59:53
If I said to you, if I said fill in the blanks, my spouse does or doesn't understand my anxiety? Is it something it's difficult to explain to another person even though they're with you?

Arianna 1:00:10
Um,

Scott Benner 1:00:11
do you think the people around you really understand how you feel when this is happening? Or that it's happening constantly?

Arianna 1:00:19
These see you, I think I'm, I mean, I'm kind of, you can see to my face. Yeah. I don't think he knows what it feels like. But he knows what it looks like.

Scott Benner 1:00:35
And then what can he do for you in those moments? Is there anything?

Arianna 1:00:42
I'm currently learning some of that I'm helping, like, for, for some reason, his way of helping is I did the dishes. And I'm like, Cool. I didn't have to do it. It's one less thing that I have to worry about. And so taking some of that does help. But it's always the dishes for him.

Scott Benner 1:01:06
Well, you realize, in a boy's head, they're like, I gotta have sex with you. Like, that's the only thing we really can think of. And so then from there, like, I guess we're do the dishes, like, if that's real? I don't.

Arianna 1:01:17
I got kind of lucky. Well, yes. Those are lots of his thoughts. He's very aware of. Yeah, no, I'm not even touching that subject at the moment.

Scott Benner 1:01:28
I have to tell you, there are a large group of men who are listening right now, in the middle of like, you know, if you if you went down in a plane crash in a cold place, and you'd look like you're gonna die on the side of the mountain, the guy would be like, I don't know if sex would help. But if it would, I'd be willing to do.

Arianna 1:01:43
Yeah. Trust me, like, you'd be like, could

Scott Benner 1:01:48
you make a fire? And you'd be like, alright, but

Arianna 1:01:53
hey, is it like, the kids are asleep, like, what's going on? And I'm like, her blood sugar's at 200. I'm trying to get it down, leave me alone.

Scott Benner 1:02:03
So all of my ideas don't sound relaxing to you. I guess I'll go do the dishes.

Arianna 1:02:09
Like, fine. I mean, they're asleep. I'll play video games. Now. It's whatever, while I'm sitting there, like, will catch that.

Scott Benner 1:02:18
So what you're really saying is it makes sure I'm understanding is that unlike a person who doesn't suffer, the way you do, everything, the idea of everything that needs to be accomplished weighs on you, and ups, your anxiety. And so if someone can just come in and grab one of those packages, and throw it off of you, it's a lessening effect for you. But is there any time when it's gone? Do you ever just think, Oh, well, I'm not upset or worried or concerned about anything? Does that ever happen?

Arianna 1:02:52
Yes, but that is new.

Scott Benner 1:02:55
And that's for the therapy? Yes. What are some of the things that therapist taught you that are helping you?

Arianna 1:03:02
Um,

Scott Benner 1:03:04
please don't tell me you're going out and murdering, like, blunder bridges and stuff like that or something. Right?

Arianna 1:03:11
No, like, I'm

Scott Benner 1:03:12
sacrificing goats now. It's, it's really relaxing.

Arianna 1:03:19
Okay. Know, some of it's just come with processing it. Before. This, the therapist I have now I physically could not talk about some of my traumas. Like, physically, they'd run in my head, I'd say, Okay, I'm going to say it now in my head, and they'd get stuck in my throat. And instead, I would just cry. And I have found words, I found my voice with therapy. So finding my voice. And words for things allowed me to continue to process instead of it just playing in my head and getting stuck in my throat. So talking has helped. Being able to be vocal has helped. And then with that, I've learned I'm not living in it anymore, that I can sit in the present in my body and breathe and know where I am. And not feel like I'm stuck somewhere else. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:04:51
I want to ask you a question that I want to also tell you that you shouldn't feel any pressure to answer but I want to keep it really general but I just feel like you've shared so much valuable stuff here. But we lacked this specific context. So would you say that at some point? So let me just make some guesses out loud? If you want to say yes or no, that'd be great. Or just tell me to stop asking, but someone hurt you at some point. Is that right? Like it was No, it wasn't a person. Okay? Was it a physical or emotional injury?

Arianna 1:05:29
Um, oh,

Scott Benner 1:05:31
both. Okay. Something you feel like you had fault in or something, you know, was not from your hand at all.

Arianna 1:05:42
But I had fault. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:05:47
You carry a lot of guilt from it.

Arianna 1:05:52
I wouldn't say guilt, I'd say sadness.

Scott Benner 1:05:55
Okay, like one of those. If I had a time machine, you know, where you'd go back to and what you wouldn't do that kind of stuff.

Arianna 1:06:04
I would probably still make the same choice.

Scott Benner 1:06:07
Interesting. Because at that time, you wouldn't have been able to make a different choice, or because it didn't look like a bad choice in the moment.

Arianna 1:06:15
Logically, my, my brain is very logical, logically, completely right decision. Completely what needed to be done. So that's okay, but doesn't mean it takes away.

Scott Benner 1:06:37
What came. So you did the right thing for the right reason, but the outcome impacts you that right. Yeah. That's interesting. I almost like that. You're not going to tell me what it is.

Arianna 1:06:52
I mean, no, don't tell me. Warning. I can tell you seriously,

Scott Benner 1:06:56
you'll tell me but you won't tell everybody else. Yeah, oh, hell, then we'll get off. And you can totally tell me Yeah, screw the rest. I still gave you a good podcast. And so did she, okay, you can't be mad about that this is private. Well, I'm happy that you feel better, and that your therapy is moving you to this place. I'm happy that the diabetes stuff is manageable, and in a good safe spot, and that you feel like you might go back to it later and tighten it down. When you have the ability to it is super commendable, that you were able to take some time for yourself and some space for yourself. A lot of people struggle to do that. And you figured it out pretty quickly. It sounds like you were pressured into it by your circumstances to some degree, but still a lot of people still don't bend they just go down with the ship. You know, they mean you were like how about if we all stay alive when we figure this out and spread some of this horror out over over time.

Arianna 1:08:00
Not to get too morbid, but it got to a point where I couldn't continue living this way. But there was no choice but for me to continue living because of Dora. So I had to I had to make that choice to you know, put on my big girl pants and put work in it had to be done. I have

Scott Benner 1:08:35
to say that I imagine I could be completely wrong but I imagine that most people live in that general space that things that need to be done feel bigger than what you can accomplish that sometimes they don't feel in any way like a satisfactory lifestyle for you. You know people think oh I wish I was doing this or I wish I didn't have to do that but I do think that most people just do what they need to do. And I wonder if I'm sorry I wonder how much of like more recent society gives people especially in in in places like American other you know you know other countries like that that have the thing excuse me concentrating on the fact that I have to clear my throat instead of talking people that have conference like this you know even you know you the poorest people in America live better than other people in other places in the world right? Like if the idea that everybody can like we raise our kids like you can be president which I guess is not as great as it used to be but you know you can be president you can be the accompany you could be rich, you could be famous, you can be an athlete, we no one ever just like hey, you know what you could do? You could probably manage an Arby's like, you know, we don't talk like that, so expectations are super high for success for money when you're younger, and for happiness to everyone gets promised happiness. And I don't know that that's exactly the way life works. I don't think we all get to run around with our like two and a half kids and a Volvo station wagon and a house it has like, you know, it's got an acre, like I don't think most people have like I don't think that's really how it works out for everybody. My husband's grade he's home by 430 helps with dinner. You know, I wear you know, like it's not it's not Leave It to Beaver, I guess is the way I'm trying to say it. And, and yet people fight against it constantly, and it makes them miserable. The the expectation for perfection makes people miserable. Instead of just going like, this is my life. This isn't so bad. You know what I mean? Like, I'll be happy here.

Arianna 1:10:50
Sitting sitting and gratefulness is is highly important. Yeah. Be grateful for all that you have. I've had this conversation with Dora, where you know, she has days where I hate diabetes is what she says, I wish I didn't have it. Boy, do I wish you to have it. But be grateful for the technology that we have. Be grateful for the type of insulin that we have. Be, you know, just to even say yes, it sucks. I'm not saying that it does it. I'm not saying that's not hard. It's for sure. Not fun. But hey, you have this really cool piece of technology that people like, worked really hard on to make it so that you don't have to have a strict regimen like eating regimen and insulin regimen, where you can pretty much say, hey, I want a piece of candy, and then get the piece of candy.

Scott Benner 1:11:59
Yeah, there's a lot of a lot of perspective that comes with knowing that, you know, prior to 1920 ish, you would just be dead if you had type one diabetes. Like that's, that's not that's 100 years ago, that's a very short amount of time ago. You know, like you just made it like, think about it. If you were diagnosed today, you basically just made it in under the wire. Like it's Yeah, yeah.

Arianna 1:12:19
You know, knowing, hearing, listen to your podcast and hearing the people that have had it for 20 years knowing what the technology was then, even 10 years ago, five years ago. Yeah, but it is when she was diagnosed, I could not be more thankful.

Scott Benner 1:12:37
Right. But being diagnosed in the 60s, the 70s, the 80s in that range. I couldn't, well, all the scary stuff that you still hear today. Those stories come from that time, because that was expectation that you hear people come on here, who are like, I was told I wasn't gonna live to 30. Or, you know, people that come on tell you like, they were told, like, you're not gonna get to have kids, you're not gonna have a life, no one will marry you. Someone was told. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not that long ago in history, been diagnosed with type one diabetes 3030 years ago, somebody might have told you well, you know, give up on all of your dreams and get your living in now, because this isn't going to last very long. That was

Arianna 1:13:19
the two things I think they said in the hospital was, she can do anything that she wants to do. She just can't join the military. And I was like, that's something. And then two was be a pilot. And they said, Well, that's changing. And it's changed since then. Fine. I mean, it. I highly respect all military. But coming from military, my father was in the military, I am relieved that she can't. So for me personally, I was like, Okay,

Scott Benner 1:13:57
anything. But I understand what you're saying. And I just think it's important, right? It's important. And it's not just important about diabetes, it's important about the rest of your life. I mean, listen, there's reason things are written on coffee mugs, and T shirts. The reasons are, if you would just believe them, your life will get better. You know what I mean? Just be grateful for what you have is a big one. Some people have more, some people have less, you know, it's not about more or less, it's about here, like you just need to be able to look up and go my life's pretty good. This is all right. I wish I had more. I wish I had that. But I don't. These are the things that I have the people I'm around, let me make the best of this. And if this is so bad, then let me find a pathway out best I can. I might not get as far out as I want to, but let me see if I can't keep bettering my situation. Yeah, that is some real comfort in in living that way.

Arianna 1:14:52
And, again, I have that that odd thing with diabetes where I was relieved and I have I have the gratefulness of my child his back that I get to live with every single day.

Scott Benner 1:15:12
Yeah. That's amazing. Okay, I, I gotta wrap this up. I'm running low on time. I apologize. But I'm very happy for everything that's happening for you. So far. I didn't get to ask you, but the podcast has generally been valuable for you.

Arianna 1:15:28
Yes, of course, I'm learning. I go back to the the Pro Series and you know, all of that to go back to basics to go, what am I doing wrong? Because sometimes in the funk of depression and anxiety, I forget things. And I go back and I go, Oh, yeah, I got to start there.

Scott Benner 1:15:55
Well, I know I've said this before. And you might have heard me, but I'm not embarrassed to say there are times where things get upside down here. And I, I stopped myself and think if someone came to me and said this was happening to them. Well, what I tell them? Yeah, and I think that's my version of listening back to episodes. I go, I would say to do this, and this and this. Okay, well, why the hell am I not doing that? And then, yeah. Yeah, I sometimes people say like, what would Scott say? Like, I sit in my house? And I think what would I say?

Arianna 1:16:28
That has to be a weird conversation in your head.

Scott Benner 1:16:30
I gotta be honest with you. One of the creepiest things I've ever done in my life is search for something in my own website. So like, there's like this weird feeling when you're like, oh, I don't know the answer to this. But at some point in my life, I did and I wrote it down. I'm gonna go look, and I'm on my own website, searching it that makes me feel very ridiculous while I'm doing that, like, why can I not remember this? And then there.

Arianna 1:16:54
It also shows how informative your podcast is, because

Scott Benner 1:17:01
well, at the very, at the very least, present Amy really does agree with you know, past me. That's why I joke about Jenny when people are like, I say how great Jenny is, but really, when you listen, Jenny and I agree about a lot of things, if not most things about managing diabetes, so like, do I do I like her or do I think she's smart? Cuz she but I shouldn't cast that aspersion I think Jenny's terrific. I'm just making a joke. But no, it's weird sometimes to have that thought. But I'm glad it helps you and anybody else listening who is valuable, too. I thought this was a terrific conversation. I want to thank you for it and I'm going to hit stop so you can tell me stuff you're not gonna tell other people so hold on was

a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Kibo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox you spell that GVOKEGL You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. And also like to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for being a longtime sponsor of the show and remind you to go to contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. Are you a US resident? Please take the T one D exchange survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox.

Thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate your support. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.