#501 Alone in a Room Full of People

July 5, 2021Scott Benner

Danae talks about the first decade of her type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 501 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Hey everyone, welcome back. Today we're going to be speaking with Denae. Denae is a young adult living with Type One Diabetes. She's had it for a decade, and she's here to tell us her story. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. That was such an unfair introduction to this episode because it goes in a wonderful direction and fills a lot of little gaps in your heart. But I can't give it all away here during the music, right? You have to listen to the episode, which I'm going to call. See, I want to call it alone in a room full of people. alone in a full room, I kind of make it a little alone in a room full of people. Alright, that's what I'm going to call it. It's not catchy, but it fits.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. I want you to go to dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to learn more about the Dexcom CGM getting that information that data that stuff that you can see in real time. It's a game changer. The podcast is also sponsored by the Omni pod, you can get a free no obligation 30 day trial. If you're eligible of the Omni pod dash at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. You could just use a pump for free for a month if you're eligible. That is at least worth checking out. Omnipod comm forward slash juice box dexcom.com forward slash juice box here's the name.

Denae 2:21
I am Denae. I'm from Boston mass. I'm 24. And I was diagnosed when I was 1410 years. Yeah, it'll be 10 years in May so definitely

Scott Benner 2:37
feel like a big thing or not. Particularly do not count it like that.

Denae 2:41
Um, yeah, I don't know. 10 years is a lot. I haven't really made like a big thing of the diversity I guess. Maybe that's the last few years I have just because it's been more of like a better thing. But I think 10 years will be a big thing for sure.

Scott Benner 3:02
Alright, today what how are you touching?

Denae 3:05
It was my What is it? I air pod case? I'm not touching it anymore. I'm sorry, I have a glass table. That's probably why it makes so much noise. And I don't

Scott Benner 3:18
want you to be sorry. I think it's really common in the first 15 or 20 minutes of the episode. People are jittery. And a lot of people touch things, too. It's it's really interesting, but yours is really loud for some reason. So squeeze your knee or something like that. Getting on my hands now. Did I use sitting on your hands for real? I hear Oh, yeah. Excellent. You know, it's funny the, the way the show starts traditionally where people are like, Hi, my name is Denae and blah, blah, blah. You know, that actually came from the first time I couldn't. Alright, I'm going to admit something now. So it came from the first time I started recording with someone and couldn't remember their name. Oh, really. So that's an artful way to get around not knowing someone's name. I said, Hey, just introduce yourself real quick. I like it. And then it became such a nice way to start the show where someone just comes on says, Hey, I'm Steve. And you know, but like that. I said, I really liked that. But it absolutely came from my own embarrassment and me trying to cover up for myself. So I like it. I like it. And thank thank God, I did that because now six years later, your name? I probably would have gotten wrong if I tried to pronounce it. I don't know why it's so pretty common. You're not you wouldn't be the first one. Now it's a tough one. It's so obvious now that you said it. But looking at it. Like all morning I was like oh my god, I think this is a woman.

Denae 4:48
I've gotten so many different variations. So it wouldn't have been it wouldn't have been the first time. So what made you reach out? Um, so I started out actually listening to your podcasts in January of this year, I have just started a job at Mass General. And I was taking the train in so I kind of wanted to find something to listen to on the train. And I just happen to stumble upon the Juicebox Podcast. And I was like, wow, this is like, the best podcast I've found. And it literally like changed my life, I did not have a good a one. See, I was just not really taking care of myself that well. And then, six months later, my agency went from 13 to seven. And it just completely changed my life. And I just will not listen to anything else ever. So I just wanted to come on and just say thank you for everything that you do. And honestly, like, just come on, and say that and really, it's just like, amazing how just listening to something can just impact somebody's life so much. And somehow, if like, my story could change someone's life as yours did, and so many other people's stories did that would like even just one person like that would be incredible.

Scott Benner 6:25
I agree. It is a very big deal to do something that impacts someone else's health. It feels amazing. So you're going to do that you're going to tell your story, and somebody else is going to find something interesting about it. But let's first come to I just came to a realization so let's talk about this first. I'm always joking about people naming a baby after me as tribute. But why don't I start asking to be named in the in the life insurance? Really this is this is what I should be doing. I just I can't believe I've been wasting this effort on get a getting a baby named Scott. I don't even like my own name. Alright, from now on, if people feel like I'm saved them. I would like to be included in their life insurance policy, or 401k. payouts are anything at all. Really? That's, that's now what I'm going to ask for. You're too young. You'll outlive me by a lot. So maybe you could just give me a baby name Scott one day tonight. Yeah. No, I'm incredibly uncomfortable. And happy at the same time. It's a very, it's a very weird blend of feelings. To have someone say to you, I found your podcast. I thought it was great. change my life. It's hard to know how to respond to that. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Really? Yes. So I make really bad jokes instead. Although that's a great coping mechanism. Honestly. I got DNA. I grew up a fat kid. I had nothing else. What was I gonna do? You know, I had to be funny. They would have beat my ass if I wasn't funny. I grew up in a I was I grew up in the 70s and the early 80s. You needed to be funny if you weren't athletic, or willing to get high or was gonna go down tonight. You know what I mean? Like you. You're gonna be though, you're not like you watch movies. Now you're like, oh, stuffing people in lockers? What a trade idea that doesn't would happen. It really happened. I wasn't looking for it to be me. But But seriously, congratulations. Tell me again, where your agency was and where it went to in a year, less than a year

Denae 8:22
is six months. Yeah, I was at 13. And it went to seven, but not

Scott Benner 8:27

Like just diagnosed like you had diabetes for nine years. And it was 13.

Denae 8:32
Yeah. It's been from it had been anywhere from like nine to 13. And just that this past couple of years, like before the pandemic and everything. My family had gone through a lot of things. And so it was just really hard to keep everything under control. And so I just wasn't really the best at doing the best, you know, and it just ended up being higher than I wanted it to be. And then one day, I kind of just found the podcast and I can't even like freaked myself out into taking care of myself where I was like, if I don't do this, I'm literally going to go blind. And I kind of just like, gave myself the fear factor and was like, Okay, I need to do something about this. And then once I just kept listening, I was like, all these people are doing so well. Like if they can do it, I definitely can do it. Like if anyone can do it. So can I so then I was like, You know what, I have all these tools and all these resources and like I also use the Omni pod and the Dexcom. So I have access to all these things and like it's easy, just do it. So then I just did it.

Scott Benner 9:57
So you're making a lot of points that I'm interested in. First of all, I got to get this out of the way before we start. You're not from Boston, obviously. Are you from the south? I'm not. No, I'm from Boston. You're from Boston with that accent that you have right there. I have an accent. Well, no, you have the lack of an accent. Not that like it would be from a movie where you know, it's on the yard and stuff like that. But I'm just saying like, you really, I thought you were from more like Virginia and had moved up.

Denae 10:27
Oh, so my mom was born and raised in France. And when so I spoke French growing up. So I don't actually have like a Boston accent.

Scott Benner 10:38
You certainly don't. Okay. All right. So that's just to get that out of the way so that I don't spend the entire interview thinking like where's she from? So okay, so you Saudis taught you how to speak English? properly? Do you still speak French at all? Sorry, do you still speak any French? I do? Yes. We're gonna do stuff with that. Okay. Okay. So you, you proved out. And I think a lot of people listening have but a theory that I've had for a long time. So if you've been listening, you know that I wrote a blog for like a decade in the in the diabetes space before I started doing this, and honestly, is you and I are recording this in a couple of weeks. The seventh? I think, yeah, the seventh season of the podcast is going to start in a couple of weeks. And I'm not like, I don't do what those other some of those other podcasts like, you know, they've been around for three years now. Like we're on episode or on season 12. And I'm like, what, you know, like they put out five episodes and call it a season or whatever. When I tell you that this podcast is starting its seventh season, it's starting its seventh year of being at least a weekly show, as well, please. It's not that incredible. Just I sit and talk to people. And then I put it's not that hard. But But I appreciate it. But what my point is, is that the overwhelming theory online, that was during blogging, time I was blogging heavily. And even when I started the podcast was you don't show other people with diabetes, people who are doing well, because that makes them feel bad. Yeah, and I've never agreed with that. I've always thought that aspirational was the way to go, that you look at someone and just think they're not doing better than me. They just they know something. I don't know. Let me find out what that is. And that is what happened to you. Hmm.

Denae 12:27
Yeah, cuz diabetes is a learning curve. Like there's always something else to learn. There's, there's doing it, and then there's knowing something else that somebody else doesn't know exactly. Like, that's what you just said.

Scott Benner 12:39
But you can't do something you don't understand, like I said the other day, and I saw somebody echo it online, that you can't fail at something you have no knowledge of. Exactly. Yeah. And, and so we want to not give. So the prevailing idea was, don't teach them anything. And they'll figure it out. But what they were seeing back was that most people don't figure it out. And I always thought, why don't we just, I mean, listen, first of all, I was lucky at the time to really look at it. And to figure it out, I was a stay at home parent, right? So I could take a long look a hard look, sometimes a micro sometimes a macro and figure things out and come up with ideas. And you know, only learn to talk about them because of the blog. But most people don't even have that time they're off at work, or they're at school. They're just like staying alive. It's like it's a constant. Just tell me about that. Tell me about this first nine years ago, what was your life like?

Denae 13:44
When I first got diagnosed, I was 14. So I had just started high school. Um, and it's funny, I remember other people telling me what it was like for me, but I don't really remember it for myself, which is weird. Because I didn't know I was really feeling bad until I started feeling better. And so I had all the typical signs of it, but not really many people in my family kind of knew what it was they just knew something was wrong. So I had like the extreme thirst, extreme hunger, weight loss, hair loss, everything. And then by the time I was diagnosed, I was 82 pounds. And the doctors were like, We don't even know how you're alive right now. And that I remember that like clear as day like that was probably the one of the most memorable things. And the reason I went into the hospital actually was because I was getting headaches, or the doctor's office Actually, I went to the doctors because I was getting headaches and they were like, oh, we're just gonna like run some tests and stuff. So then we had left and they called They were like, you need to go to the emergency room right now. And we were like, oh, why? And they're like, you have diabetes. It was funny because I never really had like, crazy reactions to things until I kind of understood them. So my first reaction to was, Oh, well, at least it's not cancer. And that was my first reaction to hearing that I had diabetes. So I never really like, was like, Oh, it's not. Like, I didn't understand how bad I was feeling until I felt better. So I was when I was in the hospital,

I started really grasping it, and I was like, Oh, crap, this is really what it is. And they give you like, the diabetes 101 crash course in four days. And you're like, Okay, so here's your new life, have fun, bye. And then they just give you your whole new set of rules for the rest of your life in a matter of hours. And then when you get home, you're like, Okay, so now this is what it is. And that's really what I kind of started setting in, that everything was going to be different. And then

Scott Benner 16:16
I find that to be dangerous. And it's understandable what happens. They obviously they can't tell you the whole world in a couple of days. Yeah, but that, but when you're in that situation, at least, this is how I felt. everything that was said to me felt like a set in stone rule. And this Wow, I agree. Right? Right. Like this is how everything has to be all the time, there was never any body who would pull me aside to Hey, look, this is gonna morph, it's gonna change, you're gonna need to be flexible. Like, you know, I know, we said here, one to this many carbs. But, you know, over time, you'll see that change. All of this is momentary. And if they would have just let me know that I know, like, No, I'm not blaming anyone, I'm saying that if if I would have had that information, I wouldn't have spent so many years trying to make this elusive disease fit a very specific narrative. And that's where the maddening part comes to me. Is is the trying to make it fit exactly the thing that was said to you on day one, when you were for, write it, because I bet you when you were 16, you were a completely different person than you were when you were 14.

Denae 17:27
Yeah, they made it almost like a cookie cutter thing. And I was like, This is not the same as it was, like, I remember specific, like, I would make my lunches for school. And I was like, I need to have 15 pita chips. And this many of this. And that many of that. And I can only have eight ounces of juice and bla bla bla. And I was like, this is probably like, this isn't normal. Like, it was the weirdest thing ever. And then going to school like my friends before, like, when you go to lunch, like, you know, people would share lunch and everything, like people be like, Oh, can I have a chip? And I'm like, No, you can't have one or I'll die. Like, it's just like, so cut in clean and in set in stone, that you have to have everything perfect. And that's just not how you live your life. Because as everyone who has diabetes knows diabetes is far from perfect,

Scott Benner 18:22
isn't it? kind of almost funny to that? You feel like I'm doing everything exactly the way I was taught? Put your a one C was over nine. Yeah. Right. But you probably never put those two things together because you were doing what you were taught.

Denae 18:35
Exactly, yeah. And there's always like, you're trying so hard, and the numbers still are just not adding up. And that led to like a lot of different things down the road for me too, which also led to hire a one season everything. So it just was like a constant struggle and like a battle. So it was just hard all the time.

Scott Benner 19:02
So you guys were basically which one was excuse me, was one of your parents helping you with management or was it just for you to do

Denae 19:11
um, so I have always been a very extremely independent child. And I my parents insisted on helping but I insisted on doing it. A lot of my own, like a lot of my own. My mom was the one that helped more, or I put a lot of the while she was kind of more involved, I guess. She would come to the appointments with me and we would kind of relay the information to my dad. And because he's a teacher, so he was at school a lot and everything. But my mom worked from home most of the time. And

Scott Benner 20:03
well did I was when you say your mom was at the appointments, but when you got home and it was time to have an apple or 15 pita chips or something like that, was she helping you with that? Or were you just on your own?

Denae 20:15
Um, so it's kind of like the appointment high, I guess you go to the appointment and then like the surrounding days of the appointment, my mom would be like, Alright, this is what you have to do this we have to do because she was there and she was in it and bla bla bla,

Scott Benner 20:30
it's, it's like the week after y'all decide to go on a diet together with a bunch of people. Like when you get together with family, you're like, we could go on to do a weight loss challenge, we'll all try to lose 10 pounds. And then by Tuesday, you're like, I'm gonna lose 10 pounds. And then by Saturday, like, I'm just gonna go to a bar.

Denae 20:45
Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah. Cuz at the end of the day, they don't actually have diabetes. And I do. So I'm like, Okay, fine. Like, I still have to do this, though. Like, you can. Like, you can say that you want to do it, but you don't actually have to do it. Like I actually have to do this. Yeah. So and like, obviously, there's no like bullying or anything of it. But they're much older, like, they have a lot more responsibility and like different responsibility. And like, I actually have it. So it just like is what it is. But I've always been an independent person too. So I never placed any responsibility on them for it either. So I was just like, I can do it. Like, it's me, I can do it. And as a kid, you're like, I'm invincible. I can do it. And I can do anything I want at the same time. So it probably was more than like, I probably bit off more than I could chew.

Scott Benner 21:45
Were you a bit of a pain in the ass? Like, did you like were they trying to help? And you kept them at arm's length?

Denae 21:50
Oh, absolutely. I was so stubborn. Was Yes, I still am Yes. Yeah, I always wanted to do it by myself. And I was like, I could do it. And I can do it by myself. Oh, I was definitely a pain in the ass.

Scott Benner 22:06
I didn't have to take a supplement. Like once a week. It's just a vitamin. And it took me four days to get her to take it. It's just, I must have said, Hey, take that vitamin real quick. Like 5000 times I put it in front of her or anything. You just take that for I don't like to take pills. I'm like, yeah, no one does. Can you just take it, you know, on and on. And at one point. Last night, she comes up, I was editing the show and putting a shop last night. She comes upstairs and she just got done writing something for her AP Lang class. And she's like, Can you read the conclusion with me and see what you think? And I was like, Sure. So we started reading. And as I was reading, I said, Hey, just take that vitamin. And she started laughing. She's like I did. I was like, Are you sure? And she's laughing. I did. I did, I promise. And at this point, she had actually taken it. But had told me she was going to not take it for so many days in a row. that by the time she actually took it. She's cracking up laughing and then she was worried. I didn't believe her because she was laughing. And I understand what you're saying about. Yeah, well, about having somebody tell you to do something that you just don't want to do it. No, no, it's it's completely common response. But the but the issue ends up being Hey, you know what, you freaked me out. But because I just sat here and did the math on the calendar. Not that it was tough math, but you were diagnosed in 2012. Is that right? 2011? That, like you understand that 2011? Like I thought there'd be flying cars in 2011. Like, that's how old I am. Right? Like and you're you were 14 then even just now like, like putting together my head that you're 24 like, flips me out like you like you weren't diagnosed? What do I mean, you're an adult with type one who wasn't diagnosed in the dark ages of type one. And yet you still had an A one c over nine.

Unknown Speaker 24:00
Mm hmm. I want you to

Denae 24:03
know, as much as the technology has changed, it's still feels like so much as like, even just nine years ago, it still feels like there was so much that has changed.

Scott Benner 24:15
But what it's making me think is that everyone listening needs to understand that the technology or the tools or whatever you want to call it where you know how you always hear people say like, this is the best time to be diagnosed with type one. I say that because it's true, right? But it's not true if someone doesn't teach you how to do it.

Unknown Speaker 24:36
Exactly right.

Scott Benner 24:37
And and so because you should not you obviously can do it because you're doing it. Right. Right. And so you lack something for nine years that was there and attainable. And that's sad to me. I also am really excited for you that you found the other side of it. But in a larger way, it makes me worried for everyone else who, you know, you're going to see all these algorithms just existing in the world with pumps and algorithms and glucose monitors. And I, you know, Arden uses one, and I know how well it works. But you just made me realize that it doesn't matter, because most people aren't going to do it. Yeah, if we don't drag them forward into it, and teach them how to do it, so that they can do it on their own. People aren't just gonna pick it up on their own. Yeah. Okay. Well, tell me a little bit about those, those first years, especially as you got into your late teens and early 20s, you are aware that you're a one sees way higher than you want it to be? I assume you're trying? Or were you just not trying at all? What was the vibe?

Denae 25:47
Yeah, so I went through a lot of difficult times growing up in diabetes, because a lot of me didn't really want to have diabetes, I really got it at a time where you don't really know who you are yet. So you're kind of figuring out all of that, and getting it when people are just kind of figuring out who you are. And then all of a sudden, realizing have this thing that makes you different, you're just like, I don't want this because no one else has it. And I think that kind of just really set me apart. And so I just avoided it for a really long time. And I did the bare minimum. And so that definitely contributed to a high and one C for a long time. And the beginning parts of all of the rules and regulations around like no one what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, and like carb counting in the like sliding factors and all of that, or like sliding scales, and all of that contributed to me developing an eating disorder as well. So I had, um, I'm sure you've heard of it before, but dyeable aimia. And that happened for a really long time. And my senior year of high school, actually, I ended up going into treatment for it. Not for very long. And in a terrible place, which does did not know anything about diabetes, which is also one of the things that I want to like advocate for is just know, like going to build awareness around places for in treatments and inpatient treatment centers to build up awareness for diabetes around like places like that, because my experience with that was just so awful, that they just have no education around that. And like, I was told that there was a place that place was for people like myself who have died, who had died, Alenia and then just going in there and realizing that they had absolutely no idea what they were doing, like they had the most bare minimum knowledge of it was like, I was so shocked. And it was just like, crazy to me that they just didn't know what they were doing.

Scott Benner 28:48
Well, when you said that, to make sure not to do it in a bad place. I thought you were about like Sean Boston.

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Where's she going with this? But But I hear I hear what you're saying you need a reputable place that is well versed has a plan you should check on what that plan is before you go in. But again, tough because you don't know what they're supposed to be doing. So how do you check them on whether or not they know they're and it's gonna be references? It's gonna be? Yeah, right. Just this

Denae 33:25
specific center like Yeah, but um, there. It was just I wasn't even in there for a very long, but it was recommended by the hospital that I had been diagnosed that and so I was like, What is the affiliation between these? And how is their connection with them? Like, how much do they keep up with it? Do they supply them with their own doctors? Do they educate them do that? How often is their training like? I was like, all of the stuff that I was thinking about the whole time. And it was just weird to see it from my side as a diabetic and then seeing it also in the perspective of someone who had an eating disorder. So I have both sides. Yeah. And then just kind of putting the two and two together where they only have half of the treatment. Whereas somebody who has more than one thing going on, but I'm just only one side of that. Like what if somebody else had something completely different? And they only do half for treatment?

Scott Benner 34:40
Yeah. I mean, it's listen to healthcare as a business and know that not every business is run. Well, you know what I mean? And it's interesting how how we think about, like, if you have a storefront sign, well then you say you make sandwiches, then they're going to be good sandwiches inside here. Then you go buy one and you're like us terrible. You know, it turns out everybody can't make a great sandwich. But it doesn't stop them for a moment as owning a sandwich shop. Yeah, so you have to do some diligence. But it's also interesting that you're in a bad way to begin with. And once you've made the decision to go for treatment, I would imagine, it's hard to put into your mind, well, now I need to, you know, check on this place and make sure they're gonna do what they say and that they have everything I need. And it's just sounds like a fraught time in your life. And you can understand not being able to do that.

Denae 35:34
That like 1718 years old, that's not like, right, all the questions that you're asking either, too. So those are the questions that came down from other people as well that I had the years after think about,

Scott Benner 35:49
right, right. Yeah. Yeah, I have to ask you, you didn't mention diabelli Mia, in your email, and I heard you, you've struggled to it through this first half an hour, like you wanted to tell me but you you had trouble getting it out a couple of different times. So I want to check, are you okay, that means you said something, I think you weren't sure you were gonna say today. Is that right?

Denae 36:07
Oh, I didn't mention at all in the email at first. But I had while since I had time, from when we scheduled the meeting, to think about all the things that I wanted to say. But when I was listening to some of the podcasts, from the beginning, there was a woman who said that she had a lot of struggles. I've It was one of the earlier podcast, I wanted to go back and look at it. I think it was in like in the early two hundreds, I think. But she said that she has struggled with it a lot. And she had suffered from a lot of complications. And that was actually one of the reasons why I was just like, Okay, time to get into action and time to get myself together. And I just think that sharing the struggles will help people who might be too afraid to come out and say things to really, like, realize that they're not alone, because a lot of the people who share their stories in the podcast, were brave enough to come out and say their story. And like, I was one of those people for a really long time to not come out and say anything. And then I saw that there are people out there who are not doing well, like I wasn't doing well. And I'm not alone and other people out there not alone in it does get better. It's

Scott Benner 37:38
your turn to be brave. That's all, you know. Yeah. Oh, that's, it's really nice that you're sharing it. So tell me a little bit about what people should be looking for. So if I'm a parent of someone, or if I'm an adult living with type one, how does diabetes rear its head? Originally? How did it start?

Denae 37:56
Um, a lot of the signs are definitely, um, decrease in, like, renewing prescriptions for sure. And so like, if you notice that there's a lot of, like, if your child is saying like, Oh, yeah, I'm definitely doing what I was supposed to like, I'm doing all the insulin, like, I'm carb counting, I'm doing my assemble a lot. But you're noticing that you're not refilling prescriptions as often as you usually are. That's a huge design. I did that a lot. And another one is you are noticing that the agency is really high every time you go to the endocrinologist, but the meter is always saying a number that doesn't reflect anyone see. There's like definitely number manipulation, where they'll, um, they'll take insulin and then change the date and time on the meter. And then just check their blood sugar over and over again and change the date and time on the meter.

Scott Benner 39:07
That sounds like much work than a

Denae 39:09
lot of work. Trust me. I spent a lot of time doing that. And it was not a lot of fun.

Scott Benner 39:17
Can I ask you? Is it more work keeping your agency where it is now or more work pretending that you have a good day one say

Denae 39:24
Oh, it's so much more work pretending is so much more work. Because you have this constant fear where you're like, someone's gonna find out but like, I need to do like it's it's a constant battle all the time because you're like, it's all psychological. It's in your head and you're like, I have to do this because like, in order for me to be the way that I need to be like, it's, it's not you take me over like you think you're in control, but you're really not. And you're like, I'm trying to tell everybody that this is the way that it is, but it's really not like, and then it catches up to you. And it's just, it just all falls apart. And so honestly, you feel better, you look better, you act better. If you just are in control of your numbers the right way, then if you're controlling the numbers the wrong way,

Scott Benner 40:24
I don't know if you're aware of this or not. But a number of times while we've been talking, you've alluded to or flat out said that the way you are, you didn't know about someone else had to tell you. So when you were diagnosed, you didn't know how you felt someone? Do you don't remember how you felt someone told you how you felt? And even now, what I'm hearing is that is that you're, you're you were never really being yourself, you were being what you thought you were supposed to be or what someone told you were supposed to be. Did you lose a lot in that gap of time? Like, are you able to look back now? And like, I don't, I don't want to be a bummer. But what was there a lot of wasted life in there?

Denae 41:12
Oh, yeah, there's definitely a lot of time that was spent trying to kind of keep up something that wasn't really the way that it was supposed to be, you know, like,

Unknown Speaker 41:26
being

Denae 41:29
being what I thought I was supposed to be, well, not maybe not supposed to be, but like being the way that I thought I wanted to be, was a lot more than it should have been. And it took a lot more than it needed to.

Scott Benner 41:49
So a lot of effort to create appearances. And you're not even necessarily sure that's how you really want it to be to begin with. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it feels convoluted, but it's, it's not really it's, to me, I've said here before, one of the things I hate, I hate a lot of things and you know, wasted time is one of them. I genuinely hate the idea of wasting time, I hate when there are a group of people together. Three people, let's say one person is lying. The other two people know they're lying. But don't say anything to them. And we stand in this circle, having this completely bogus conversation that not one person believes in, but we're doing it for appearances, or we're doing it to set something up or I I'm frustrated by that kind of thinking to begin with, like I'm almost, I'm almost angry at the person who you used to be for like, like doing that with the meter. And yet I know it happens to so many people it is such a common story of fixing the meat or making it look right just so you can go to the doctor just to keep the doctor from yelling at you is that

Denae 43:06
I knew that it was wrong to like I knew that. What I what I was doing was Shouldn't I shouldn't have been doing but there was just like some sort of fear or something surrounded by it, like I had this constant need to be perfect all the time. And the sight of the numbers just being high, was like I just can't even look at it. And like I didn't want to do it. So then every time I saw a high number, I just didn't want to do it and I didn't want to see it. So then I would just avoid it. And I would avoid checking my blood sugar until maybe like a week before. And then I would go back and just read, fabricate all those numbers. And then I would go in, they would check my agency and they'd be like, well, we don't understand what's wrong. And then they'd be like, maybe it's the meter. We'll give you a new one. And I was like, yeah, maybe that's it. And like I just was like, I couldn't really come to terms with myself. And knowing the fact that I just needed to do it and like I knew that I needed to but I just couldn't get myself to

Scott Benner 44:25
know if you so first of all, please understand and I'm sure you do because you were having a nice conversation here and you you're really cool, but I don't I didn't mean like Angry you like, like at you. I meant I'm angry to think that you wasted time. Oh, yeah. Right. And then other people are doing the same thing and not even just with I mean yours is obviously you know it's its own little criminal enterprise with changing the numbers and the dates on things and testing when you know you're low and changing dates, but even what the doctor's office did, like come on, like how many times does the doctor's office need to Seeing a one c that's 11 and a meter that says you're a one see a six, and they know two. So now they know, you know, they're handing you a new meter like, oh, maybe it's this and you're like, yeah, maybe you're literally in the scenario that I painted where everyone's just foolish. And we're acting like it's okay. It's a strange thing, to me really frustrating. Away from diabetes even because I, I so much preferred directness, and, and competency. Because, look, I mean, look what happened to you, you just randomly found a podcast, and you're a onesies. What now? And I think the last time I checked, it was 7.1. Jesus, that's so great. Good for you. That's amazing. And and what's the difference between this whole nine years and a 7.1?

Denae 45:56
The podcast on honestly, just like growing up and realizing that if I want to be the best version of myself, it's just like, you know, what you need to do you have the things that you need in order to do them. So why not just do it? It's easier to do it than to not, it's easier to take the steps than to avoid it. And you'll feel better you know, what it's like to feel better. You've been there before. So just but even

Scott Benner 46:29
then, you couldn't accomplish it though, right? Like, where could you have and you just didn't,

Denae 46:34
I could have and I had done it before I had gotten my agency down before. I had gotten it to a nine before. And that was the best I've ever felt in a really long time. I think it was like, my summer going into sophomore year of college. I had started a new like workout program. And I was going to like this boot camp type workout thing. And I started like a meal plan. And it had changed my numbers a lot. And it was working out really well. And my agency went down just from like changing my diet and exercise routine. And, um, after that, I was like, Oh, I can actually do this. So then I just started doing it. And then I go back to college and everything kind of just like, went a little bit haywire. And I kind of fell back into the the die Dibley mum mentality where, like, the insulin restriction actually helped me lose weight more. And it kind of just the psychological aspect of that kind of crept back in and the numbers just went back up. And it didn't really stick. So. So it's just kind of started back up again.

Scott Benner 48:13
So then for you the podcast was more about the the psychological side of diabetes, not so much about the nuts and bolts. Yeah, how to use insulin side of it.

Denae 48:23
Yeah, yeah. The, the technical aspect of diabetes has always come very straightforward to me, like I've always understood the, you take the insulin, and then you eat the food. And it works like that. Like it's straightforward. mathematics, science, it works like that. It ebbs and flows, like it's straightforward like that. But the mentality, like the psychological aspect behind it has always been the struggle for me. And I know that with a lot of people to like, especially just from listening to a lot of the podcast, and that's always been the hard part.

Scott Benner 49:11
Yeah, you. I hope you understand that. That's not how I think of it even like, I know, the podcast does that for you and for people in your situation. But it's not why I started it. It I really did started, like, in my mind that this podcast is about using insulin, but to you it's not really about that at all. And that's really cool. And fascinating to me that that it and so the aspect of having average people in to talk about their diabetes. That's been the real value for you. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. I understand. You're helping me. Thank you. You're helping me understand what it does because I'm come from such a I don't have diabetes, obviously. So my my perspective is more I don't even know how to say it. It's, it's less encumbered by the the psychology of having type one, honestly, you know, and, and, and the everything else that comes with having diabetes, but I, I can understand that enough to know what the show needs to be. And having just people on who don't have, you know, you know, blogs and you know, I've been writing about diabetes for 15 years, like, I find it boring to talk to those people, because they have, they have, they've got talking points, and they just, they just, they hit them, they know how to go through them. But if you had me on a podcast, and the podcast is about, you know, making a podcast, if I started telling my story, I would get very cookie cutter too, because I've told it 1000 times, I've had to tell it to every advertiser that you know, is interested in being on the show, like I had to have a conversation last night for an hour with a potential advertiser that likely won't turn into anything. But I still had to do the thing and explain the story and do all that. And so I don't like to have people on who know their story so well, that there's no chance that they'll say something spontaneous and honest, like you did today.

Denae 51:17
Yeah, like it's almost scripted. Right?

Scott Benner 51:19
He comes off very, very, it's nothing against those people. I know a lot of them and they're lovely. And there are times where I think that those people must be so pissed at me. You know, like, I've never invited them on the show, because some of them I really like, but they just, I don't know, they're, they're in a lane and they do a thing. And I want you to like, I'm telling you, you said I've had struggles, you said it three times. Before you basically cop the having Daya Believe me at one point. Yeah. And And that, to me, is so valuable for people listening, because other people who have diabetes emia, who don't tell anybody can understand how you feel. And then they can hear that it worked out well for you. And that you overcame this hurdle. That probably seemed insurmountable. I would imagine. You know, that whole time? Did you really ever think you were going to get over this?

Denae 52:12
I never thought I would, honestly. And I know like, there, it's always good to have a support system for sure. And I did have people that I think we're good support. But in if I'm being honest, I really think that I got through it by myself, like a lot of it I did on my own. And that's not something a lot of people like to admit like, I definitely don't like that. I did that on my own. And it was definitely really hard, like diabetes is hard. Diabetes is hard. And like going through alone is hard. And while I definitely didn't go through it like 100% alone, but you felt when you felt alone? Yeah, definitely. And like, especially like, I don't know, anybody else who has diabetes, like I'm the only person in my family who has it. I don't, I don't have any friends who have it. I've heard of people who, like, I have friends who have friends who have it, but I don't know anybody personally, who has it. And that definitely was like a factor of like feeling alone in it as well. And so, when I found the podcast, I was like, I'm not alone. Like there are people out there who are going through the same thing as I am. And it helped me like kind of flip the switch and be like, I can, like if all these people can do it, like so can I and it just really like, kind of made helped me make that 180 and realize that, like if there's, if there's a way out, then I have to take the steps to do it. Even if I am going to do it by myself like I can, like I can do it. And if there are people out there who feel like they're alone, like, trust me, you're not like, I felt like I was like you are definitely not alone. And it may feel like that in a world of so many people doing so many different things like going through so many different things. But there are people out there going through something just as similar as you are and trust me like, if you can, if you feel like any part of you wants to get through it just cling on to that and you will get through it. Like I did it in a matter of months, which I did not think would ever happen. But I'm here now and I'm doing great. So

Scott Benner 54:54
that's probably you know, matter of months you didn't know it took you 10 years. And yeah, you got one more piece and that kind of took you over the finish line is is, you know, really the way I would think of it, I wouldn't think of it as you found some magic. It's just maybe the podcast was just the last piece that you needed. There are plenty of people who are you have your situation but are in a different portion of their journey, who find the podcast and doesn't come together for them as quickly. And I think that's important to say, too, because sometimes I hear people say, Why don't get it, there was a guy on the podcast that he found the podcast and three months later is a once he was six, and I listened for three months. And that didn't happen to me. And, Michael, it's not gonna happen the same for everybody. Everybody's at the different in a different part of their journey. And you know, this piece is important, I think. But if you're not ready to receive it, it's tough to just put it into practice and expect it to work. I wondered, while you were talking. Is it possible that I can that a person can be supported, meaning they have family around them who you know, would do anything for you? So you're not really alone? In that sense, yet? You still feel alone?

Denae 56:10
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, my, I definitely have my family. My I have a lot of family who's in the medical field too. So they get an understanding of it. And I guess they have like the silent support, I guess, where they're there for me. And they'll support me. But I guess I just didn't really like Well, I guess I wasn't like super aware of it. Or maybe I just didn't really like Think of it like that.

Scott Benner 56:43
Let me ask you a question and see if this strikes a chord with you. And if it doesn't, that's fine. But I use this as an example all the time. So when I started the podcast, I was very clear that I was going to share how we reach the success that my daughter had. And a person, a specific person in the community admonished me about it. They listened to the podcast, reached out without asking if I was interested, in their opinion, to tell me that I was doing the wrong thing. And that I shouldn't be doing what I was doing. I shouldn't be sharing how I manage my daughter. And they told me it was wrong. And I just I was admonished by this person. And it sticks with me to this day because of how wrong they were. But of how how right they thought they were in the moment. So sure that no one should share how they manage their diabetes, because everyone's different. And your diabetes may vary. And I was back there going like no, no, there are simple truths about diabetes that apply to everyone. And if they just understood this piece of it, and this piece of it, etc, etc, then it would they could make sense of it and decide what parts of what works for my daughter would work for them. And but it was it wasn't lazy, I don't think but it was just such a self righteousness that you're doing, you know, being told you're doing the wrong thing. And now I look back. And I think what if I would have listened to that person? Like what if I would have let them scare me away from doing this, like honestly, that that person seven or eight years ago now was attempting to do something that Denae would have left your a one c over 10 for the rest of your life. And and I don't think we we just don't think enough about our actions sometimes or how sure we can be about something. And it may be someone else might have a different idea. And I just heard you saying that you're you just said something. The way I should say this is that you just said something that made me realize that all the people I've ever spoken to who are adults with diabetes, I'm always trying to get them to say what happened so that other people will know. And it's always my thought that they weren't supported by their parents. And I think that management wise, a lot of them weren't. But they can never say it like you have you. They can never say it out loud, because they don't want to denigrate their parents. That's one thing, like a lot of people just don't want to throw somebody under the bus. But also you felt supported by your parents, just not in a way that was going to lead you to outcomes that were better for your health. So yeah, it just occurred to me that you're not protecting them. You honestly feel good about their support. It just wasn't in its entirety. Everything you needed. Is that all fair? Yeah, I think that's pretty fair. Yeah. Okay. You really just, you said something in a way recent, just like I said a couple minutes ago that made me rethink a lot of answers that I've heard on the podcast. It just, it just now is making sense to me. It's not that those people weren't helping them. They weren't doing the things that they that the person type one specifically needed to have better outcomes. So they were being supported, but not in the way that often the podcast ends up supporting them.

Denae 1:00:10
Yeah, like there was, there was support, but maybe not in the way that could have best benefited me.

Scott Benner 1:00:19
So this is what people mean when they say you can be in a room full of people and feel alone.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:24
Yes. Okay. There's like, it's like, You're, you're being helpful, but you're not helping.

Scott Benner 1:00:32
Yes. And, and, and back to my original rambling point, is that I, I'll say to people all the time, like, I think it's important to share what works for us on the podcast, because it's nice to hear you're not alone at three o'clock in the morning when your blood sugar's low. But wouldn't it be nicer to understand how to get your basil set up so that you actually aren't low at three o'clock in the morning? So that so that you don't need that you're not alone? support? Like, it's not that that you're not alone? support isn't really valuable? But in my mind, it was Wouldn't it be better if you didn't need it? As often? And that's the point I tried to make to that person back then. And they just said, No, you're doing the wrong thing. And I think I've never really like had this feeling out loud. But to that person, oh, yeah, there we go. Right. So I knew I knew what I was talking about. But of course, the irony here, of course, today is that person thought they knew what they were talking about. And it's just perspective. Because what they really meant was, if they were to share what they knew, they thought it would be dangerous for other people to hear. And I felt pretty confident that I could deliver the information in a way that would make it digestible and actionable. Yeah, that's all. I actually think this might be one of my greater accomplishments of my life. Just learning how to talk about diabetes in a way that people can understand it. And I seriously like I, I, if I die tomorrow, just say that at my funeral, I'd be completely happy. Scott was a father and a husband. And he tried really hard to help people with type one diabetes, I think I would be that'd be an okay. eulogy for me.

Denae 1:02:19
I think that last sentence should be he did really well. And helping a lot of people in diabetes just cracked my grammar today. What just happened there? You tried, but no, you did. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:02:30
oh, okay. Hey, I don't need this pressure for you today. I never did well in school. And now you're like, you conjugated the wrong word. Well, thank you. Well, that's that. That's even debatable. It worked for you. And it works. For some people. It works for a lot of people, but it probably doesn't work for everybody. And there are a couple of views on the podcast and people hate me. You know what I mean? Like, I get that I'm not everybody's cup of tea and all, that's fine. But I just thought it was worth trying. Like, what was the harm in trying, everybody always acted like there was harm in trying. And I've known people in the past who have had major sway. Like, you know, we talked about, I don't like the word influencer. And I don't, I don't think of myself in that vein. But there are plenty of people now like Instagram is a good example. Like, I'm an influencer. Like, I don't argue like, aren't you just a guy that looks nice in jeans, and it has a good smile? who happens to have diabetes? Does that make you a diabetes influencer? You know, like, I don't I don't understand that. Specifically, I don't understand the idea of wanting to influence somebody either. Like I don't like for me, it's about I have a message. Here it is. I hope it works for you. Yeah, you're talking and some people like to listen, that's really, that's exactly how I think of it. It's just it's up to you to pick it up or put it down. And it doesn't it. I mean, it doesn't not matter to me, but I mean, I'm not hurt if you don't like the podcast, right? Yeah. It's the only thing I can do. I'm not trying to make a thing that I think you'll be preconceived, pre determined to like, I just, this is the thing I have, and you'll, you know, you'll do with it what you want. I'm excited that it helps you. Really, it's

Denae 1:04:16
been it's been a really great help. It's changed a lot for me, so cool.

Scott Benner 1:04:21
I it's really kind of you to share you said your Did you have any other troubles that beyond diabetes aimia that are worth sharing? Um, was that the big impediment?

Denae 1:04:32
Yeah, that's probably the biggest one, but just like, really? Well, I recently got the Omni pod. And well, there's never been really any struggle with the Omni pod. But like, that's probably the best thing that I've gotten. I got it actually the day after my 24th birthday, which was like the best thing that has ever happened in terms of diabetes for me, so that's not a struggle, but that's a good Hey, can

Scott Benner 1:05:01
I ask you Did you get it? by first trying a free no obligation demo? And did you?

Denae 1:05:07
I had one, but I actually never put it on because I already knew that I wanted it. And I try

again. Did I try again? Did you use the link on the pod comm forward slash juice box eat a free no obligation demo of the Omni pod? I did use. Thank you, Jesus, try a little harder. Oh, my gosh. How did you know you wanted the pump. Um, so I actually had wanted it for a while. Back in high school, I asked for it. Because I had been using, I started off with the syringes. And then I moved to the pens and I had been using the pens for a really long time. And then I was like, I really don't want to use these anymore. And so I had spoken to my endocrinologist about it. And they were like, well, your agency is too high for it. And I was like, Oh, that's weird. Okay. So then I was trying to get it down. And then they were like, okay, we'll do like a class on it. And then I just never got around to it. And then once I started hearing the podcast, and how well it worked for people. I had changed endocrinologist. Good for you, because that other one said stupid stuff to you. Like you're a once he's too high for a pump. I never understand that.

Yeah, I was a little bit thrown by that. And she was also the pediatric endocrinologist. But then I had changed. I think, in December, I want to say, um, I had one previously, but I didn't really see her that often because I just was avoiding all of that and didn't really like hospitals. So I didn't go. And so then I changed to one who I now love, he is so smart, super nice. And actually, like cares about what I have to say. And when I told him about your podcast, he was like, I'm gonna listen to it. And so he listens to you actually now, which is pretty cool. And so then I was like, Yeah, I really want to get on the pump. It's gonna help a lot. And he was like, yeah, definitely will. And then I started in August, and that, like, completely changed the a one c two. So it's really good. Good for you. What's your doctor's name? Scott Sperling,

Scott Benner 1:07:47
Scott, thank you for listening. Thank you for being progressive enough to lead and I have a pump. You know, you have something else in common with Omnipod. You're both there in Massachusetts. Yes, we are. I visited last year I gave a I gave a talk to the employees at the the building where some of the offices are and where they actually make the pods. And I got to take a tour of the production facility, which is fascinating, because oh, that's pretty cool. run by robots. And everything is very, very neat. Just very cool. But yeah, you guys have that in common? Yeah, you're right up there in mass, a place where it snows and becomes uninhabitable for human life.

Denae 1:08:31
Yeah. And then it's like warm the next day.

Scott Benner 1:08:34
Well, that's global warming. But but that that harder that is cold weather in, especially in the Boston area right there. It's unholy the way it comes off the water like that and just crushes the area in that cold. It's oh my gosh, I don't know how you live there to me.

Denae 1:08:53
I don't know either. I've been trying to leave for so long. Because of the cold. Yes, I cannot get myself to get out of here. But I've been trying.

Scott Benner 1:09:04
You ever heard Sam fold on the show. Sam used to be a professional baseball player and he's a coach now for the Phillies. He was up for the head coaching job in Boston just recently. And it went to someone else and I sent him a simple text that said too cold there anyway.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:22
Because

Scott Benner 1:09:23
nobody, it's just I don't know how you guys do it. It's fascinating. It's cold here. But Boston is a it's frigid there. Yeah, in the wintertime. Okay, so is there anything that we have not covered that you wish that we would? Um, I think that's all not bad. I thought you were great. I really appreciate you coming on and doing this. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Seriously. This all started with you just wanting to make fun of Kim Kardashian. And

Denae 1:09:50
I know when I saw that I was like, terrible. What a bad influence. Now that's an influencer. I do not agree with he

Scott Benner 1:09:57
sends me a picture of Kim Kardashian checking her ketones, which I guess is something people do that don't have diabetes, I probably around dieting reasons if I'm guessing something about ketosis Yeah. And, and she's, she's like the first paragraph of your emails, like, look at this. horrified, then the rest of it. And I think you were one of those people, you weren't really looking to be on the show as much as did I push you back? Or were you hoping to be on I can't tell. People are so polite when they email sometimes I think I'm not even sure if they want to be on my wife says I'm not good at reading signals from people. But

Denae 1:10:34
I just emailed and I just wanted to thank you for everything that you do on the podcast. And you're like, if you want to come on, you can like, Oh, really? Well, it was not expecting that. Okay, sure.

Scott Benner 1:10:46
About what you said that made me think that it would be a good idea to have you on and look, I was right, just like

Denae 1:10:52
I did mention. I don't know if this was it or not, but I'm planning on going to school to become an endocrinologist actually for to help with type one diabetics. I went to school for nutrition and want to specialize in like nutrition for diabetics and everything so,

Scott Benner 1:11:14
so weight to you, you want to become a doctor, or you want to do nutrition for people with type one, I'm sorry, I misunderstood.

Denae 1:11:21
I want to become a doctor. But I went to school for nutrition. And I'm going to go to back to become a dietitian, and then go to school to become an endocrinologist.

Scott Benner 1:11:36
Good luck with that. That's amazing. I need more doctors on my side. So that's a good idea. As a matter of fact, everyone listening should become an endocrinologist, we can fix this whole thing right now start talking to people differently about their, their diabetes, give them a better chance. That's all that's my marching orders for everybody today. Quit your jobs.

Denae 1:11:55
12 years and I'll be on your show again for endocrinology.

Scott Benner 1:12:00
I'll tell you what, I'll keep it going that long. Just to hear that story. I really well. I just told somebody the other day, they're like, when do you think the podcast is ending? And I was like, never if I can help it. Yeah. That's really great. And I thank you so much for coming on and doing this. I appreciate that. Thank you for having me. Of course. Hold on one second, please. I'm starting the recording back up. I don't usually do this. But wait. So you, you can speak French? So like, could you say I have type one diabetes in French? Jd I bet. Tip one. Do other words like can you say you're listening to the Juicebox Podcast? She could do a podcast. What? Wait, I talked over you do it again. Ta could la podcast Did you but that's so much fun for me for reasons that I can't put into words. You can you have full conversations in French and or does it go away if you don't use it? Yeah, I speak with my mom a lot. Um, it's a little rusty right now, just because I haven't been there in a little while. The last time I went I was in September of 2019. So yeah, so you go back to France. And then it takes a couple of days and then it's back.

Denae 1:13:20
Yeah, kind of refreshes after like a day or so. But I try to keep up with it as much as I can. I watch a lot of French shows. So just to like kind of keep up. And I speak with my mom. When I can.

Scott Benner 1:13:38
That's excellent. Yeah, I definitely would not want to lose that skill. I took French for three years in high school. And no, no French whatsoever. So myself, I believe at one point I could count the eight. Eight wasn't for me. those last two numbers. That's a 10 wait isn't enough. Nine. Yes. Cat sang? What is that? Five? Oh. This is 10 ds. Yeah, I was terrible. Like, whatever. My brain did not work that way. I literally sat through three years of French class and I couldn't speak three words of French. My brain just like, trust me the fact that I teach anybody anything is it's kind of ridiculous. grammar that will get you Oh, please. I never even got far enough into it to understand that part of it. It just does not it just I couldn't pick it up it to me math and French were the same thing. I just, I don't I don't understand things that don't. I don't know. I can't even put into words for you why I don't understand it. But I can't understand algebra. And I could not learn to speak another language. So I feel I can talk about Pre-Bolus thing though. So all right. All right. Yeah, that's the easy stuff. Right? Yeah. Just understanding when to put this in and how long to wait and when to do this, that I get the rest of it. Not so much. Okay, I can't be too long. I'm sorry. I will. I appreciate this. Thank you again. Thank you. Bye. Hey, what's the name not amazing. Today everybody round of applause. You should be clapping to it. Thanks so much to Dexcom, makers of the G six continuous glucose monitor. And the pod makers of the Omni pod dash tubeless insulin pump for sponsoring this episode. Go to Omni pod.com Ford slash juice box and dexcom.com forward slash juice box to find out more about these amazing products and to support the Juicebox Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Don't forget there's a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 501 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Hey everyone, welcome back. Today we're going to be speaking with DNA. DNA is a young adult living with Type One Diabetes. She's had it for a decade, and she's here to tell us her story. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. That was such an unfair introduction to this episode because it goes in a wonderful direction and fills a lot of little gaps in your heart. But I can't give it all away here during the music, right? You have to listen to the episode, which I'm going to call. See, I want to call it alone in a room full of people. alone in a full room, I kind of make it a little alone in a room full of people. Alright, that's what I'm going to call it. It's not catchy, but it fits.

Denae 2:21
I am Denae. I'm from Boston mass. I'm 24. And I was diagnosed when I was 1410 years. Yeah, it'll be 10 years in May so definitely

Scott Benner 2:37
feel like a big thing or not. Particularly do not count it like that.

Scott Benner 3:02
Alright, today what how are you touching?

Denae 3:05
It was my What is it? I air pod case? I'm not touching it anymore. I'm sorry, I have a glass table. That's probably why it makes so much noise. And I don't

Denae 8:22
is six months. Yeah, I was at 13. And it went to seven, but not

Scott Benner 8:27

Like just diagnosed like you had diabetes for nine years. And it was 13.