#1305 After Dark: 12 Step Yang Yang

September 13, 2024Scott Benner

Tyler is 18, he has type 1 diabetes and at one point in this story he is homeless and using meth.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to another episode of The juicebox podcast. We have an after dark today.

I'm just gonna read you my notes for today, it says call this episode after dark, 12 step Yang Yang. At one point in the story, Tyler is homeless and on meth. Yes, he has type one diabetes, but I'm not. And then there's an expletive in here. I don't know if we talked about it or not. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group juicebox podcast, type one diabetes, but everybody is welcome. Type one type two gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me, if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com

this episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by AG, one drink. AG, one.com/juicebox when you use my link and place your first order, you're going to get a welcome kit, a year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs. Today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom g7 and g6 continuous glucose monitoring systems, dexcom.com/juicebox, today's show is sponsored by OmniPod five. Do you have fear of missing out on OmniPod? If you do, you have fomu, but I can get rid of it for you at omnipod.com/juice. Box. Hi.

Tyler 2:14
My name is Tyler. I've had diabetes for 17 years, and I was diagnosed when was 18 months old. Oh, no kidding, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, I was diagnosed, young man, but my mom was a diabetic. So, you know, I got lucky there.

Scott Benner 2:32
Hey, tell me something your mom was, or she is,

Tyler 2:35
she? She is sorry, okay, no, she's she's not dead.

Scott Benner 2:42
So your mom, I made you laugh. Your mom's the type one. How old was she when she was diagnosed?

Tyler 2:48
She was 20, so she was pretty, pretty. Later on, Butler than me, at least.

Scott Benner 2:54
Yeah, well, yeah, compared to you were all later on. Like, any, like, I don't have diabetes, and I'm still later on. You know what I mean? Like, I might still get it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's something my Listen, my daughter was two, and I thought that was crazy, right?

Tyler 3:06
You know, yeah, well, because when I, when I first learned about this podcast, because, you know, I'm, I'm like, freshman in college, age, I don't know how old your daughter is.

Scott Benner 3:17
She's a sophomore. She's halfway through her sophomore year college.

Tyler 3:19
Yeah, all right, yeah, yeah. So my mom started listening to your podcast when I was, you know, pretty young, which she was the one who kind of turned me on to juice box. So that's pretty cool. So,

Scott Benner 3:29
yeah, yeah. How about in the rest of your family, other brothers and sisters, anybody else with autoimmune stuff?

Tyler 3:35
There's not really any. I come from a family where it's kind of like, oh, I broke my thumb. Better get some electrical tape, you know. So there's, there's nothing that I've heard of that's really diagnosed. Okay, my grandpa deals with, like, some some problems with his insulin immunity. So, you know, there's definitely that part of it, but there's no other type one diabetics, no celiac. There's some thyroid issues though,

Scott Benner 4:04
yeah. How about you or your mom thyroid?

Tyler 4:07
Yeah, you know, I, I've never been, like, diagnosed with thyroid issues, but I, you know, I have trouble keeping off weight. I'm not like, you know, huge or anything, but my mom has some pretty big thyroid issues as well as my dad.

Scott Benner 4:22
Okay, have you ever had your thyroid checked? I don't think I have. You have other thyroid symptoms besides weight.

Tyler 4:29
You know that that's kind of one of the only ones I've really noticed,

Scott Benner 4:33
anxiety, depression, yeah, yeah. And then yeah, that's, oh, wait, you have that?

Tyler 4:39
I do have those are both things that I've dealt with in the past, for sure, but I think that a big part of that just comes from different things that I've dealt with in my life as well, you know. So it's kind of hard to tell.

Scott Benner 4:51
Will we talk about those things?

Tyler 4:52
Yeah, okay, I'm I'm open

Scott Benner 4:56
your game, Tyler, you're 18, right? Yes. Sure. Okay, cool. Yeah. So look, first things. First, you go to the doctor, just have them check your TSH, okay. Or if they'll give you a full thyroid panel, that'd be great. But if the if they won't, just have them do your TSH, if your TSH is over two, then say to them, Hey, what if we tried medicating my thyroid and see if this helps me with my weight.

Tyler 5:23
Hmm, that simple? Yeah, no, that's a good idea. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And that, you know, that kind of thyroid issue thing is kind of just some that's come up a couple times in conversation. Okay, no, it's not something I really thought about too much until, literally, right now,

Scott Benner 5:39
yeah, dude, it's one pill. You take it. You just pop this pill in in the morning, and you're on your way. And that's kind of it. Oh, wow, so yeah. And also other, other again, like, do you ever sleep and not feel rested? Oh, every day. Oh, wait. Are you tired all the time?

Tyler 5:58
You know, I am.

Scott Benner 6:01
Listen to me, your thyroids messed up. Man, yeah, dude, your dad's got it, your mom's got it. You have a lot of the symptoms. Go get the blood test. By the way, when we're done today, you go on the little portal to your doctor's office and you say, Hey, I have a lot of hypothyroid symptoms. My mom and dad have hypothyroid symptoms. I need a blood test. Yeah, send me a script. Go out, get the blood test, start taking the pill. You might feel better in a week, really? Yeah, no, I'm not kidding. Wow. Wow. Good. All right, now, okay, now, now that I've, now that I've possibly fixed your whole life, let's talk about other stuff. So what's dude, what's it like? Like never knowing a world without diabetes,

Tyler 6:41
I guess I could turn that around. You know, like, what's it like knowing a world without diabetes? You know, kind of my whole life, but

Scott Benner 6:49
you're not, but you're not interviewing me. Tyler, so I'm interviewing you. So, I mean, if you want to start asking me questions, let me tell you something, man, I did an interview the other day. I don't go on other people's podcasts, but there's this, there's this girl, this young girl that comes on here. Sometimes she's like, 15, she's got this podcast. She's like, Would you be on my podcast? Absolutely, yeah. She asked me a question. Like, 20 minutes later, I was like, oh my god, I'm never gonna stop talking. So don't ask me. Don't ask me questions or we're not going to hear your story, no, but you know what I mean, like you your entire life, you've got it. Your mom has it. Like you don't have like, even like you can't think, like, Oh, back on my sixth birthday, I remember when I didn't have diabetes, you don't have any of that. So does it? How does it impact you? Besides giving me my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, pre probiotics, adaptogens and more. AG, one has given me a morning routine, a healthy morning routine that I didn't have before in a recent research study, AG, one was actually shown to double the amount of healthy bacteria in your gut. These healthy bacteria work together to break down food and are known to alleviate bloating, promote digestive regularity and aid in digestive comfort long term. Hey, ag one is made with bioavailable ingredients that actually work with your body. So start with ag one and notice the difference for yourself. It's a great first step to investing in your health, and that's why they've been a proud partner of mine for so long. Try ag one, and get a free bottle of vitamin d3, k2, and five free. Ag one, travel packs with your first purchase at drink. Ag one.com/juice, box. That's a $48 value for free if you go to drink. AG, one.com/juice, box. Check it out. You

Tyler 8:36
know, I'm grateful for the fact that I was diagnosed so so young, you know, simply because I just think there's a lot of things that I learned over my lifetime that, you know, somebody who's diagnosed at, you know, even 1516 would not have the ability to do. You know, I've been editing my own basals since I was, you know, 11 or 12, right? You know, because that's just something I grew up doing, you know, education about, you know, the disease we have, and all that stuff was just a huge part of my life. And so I'm really appreciative of that. So you

Scott Benner 9:13
have this perspective and you have this ability to take care of yourself that you think maybe doesn't come if you don't have this responsibility.

Tyler 9:20
Oh, for sure. Yeah, no. I mean, I was staying with one of my buddies recently and one of his roommates. She was diagnosed at 18. I mean, you know, even in the harder parts of my life, where I'm dealing with different things, diabetes, I mean, it's never a second thought, you know, like, it's always something that, you know, I'm conscious of, but it's definitely something that I don't have to put a ton of thought into controlling, you know. And then, you know, she made a comment like, you know, oh my a 1c, was like, 10 because I was depressed. You know, and I've thought about it, you know, like, even when I'm depressed, you know, like, I still have that ability to kind of just subconsciously, you know, bolus when I'm high, or, you know,

Scott Benner 10:13
see what you're saying, eat when I'm low. So you think that it's such a part of who you are and how you have to be, and that, because you've never had a moment without it, that even in tough times, you don't deviate from your management, because it's just what you do.

Tyler 10:32
Oh, for sure, yeah, yeah, it's kind of like making your bed, you know, like, if you never make your bed, you're, you're not gonna, you know, get up

Scott Benner 10:40
in the morning and think about do it, yeah? And people, and people who do it don't think I'm going to make my bed before I get going, they just do it. Oh, exactly,

Tyler 10:49
yeah. Okay, yeah. So that's

Scott Benner 10:53
so that's how that that strikes you, and that so that's valuable. You feel more responsible. You feel more capable,

Tyler 11:02
yes, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that definitely came into play when I started to get more into extreme sports as well. Okay, you know, like that. That's someplace that being diagnosed so early has helped me a lot.

Scott Benner 11:16
Is that because you you trust yourself Exactly,

Tyler 11:20
yeah. So I know, like yesterday I was, I was skiing in a in the backcountry, you know, and it's like it wasn't even a second thought to stop and get some Starbursts in case I go low, you know, yeah, or fill up my insulin the night before. You're

Scott Benner 11:37
not, I don't know what the word is, but you're not frightful, you're not always worried about diabetes or anything like that.

Tyler 11:43
Yeah, no. And sometimes that can be, you know, a bit damaging, but

Scott Benner 11:48
because, why? Because you'll ignore things exactly,

Tyler 11:52
you know, yeah, and not in, like, not in a bad way, necessarily. I mean, it can be in a bad way, but I think that sometimes when, like, things go wrong, you know, it can just be a little bit stressful, because, you know, things don't go wrong very often.

Scott Benner 12:10
Oh, I see. Oh, so when something gets out of whack, it's not, it's so much, not the norm, that you kind of don't know what to do. Do you not have enough practice of things being upside down,

Tyler 12:22
like, I definitely have practice with things being upside down. Like, sometimes I don't give as much attention to that as I probably should be.

Do you know why that's a really interesting question. I think that might have to think about that one,

Scott Benner 12:40
it's okay. I got time. I'll tell you Tyler, why this is interesting while you're thinking about it is because sometimes, when you speak to younger people, yeah, they don't know why they feel the way they feel, or they don't know why they even think what they think. It's so emotional, and they haven't had enough time to reflect, to see themselves like it's why those questions are really interesting, because you just like, I don't know. It's just how I am, you know, yeah, yeah. And the truth is, there's, there's a reason you're just not aware of it yet. So you know it's that's why I find you might not know the answer, and that's fine, but it's interesting to ask, like, why, when you get into that position, does that

happen? Right?

You really? You don't have a thought about it, do you really?

Tyler 13:36
I'm trying to kind of come up with a thought. You ever

Scott Benner 13:39
seen the Three Stooges. Oh, Lord. You know, in curly, that's not what I like to hear. No, you know, when curly says I'm trying to think, but nothing's happening.

Tyler 13:51
Yeah? Oh, man, I

Scott Benner 13:54
know how that is. Don't worry. It happens to me all the time.

Tyler 13:58
Yeah, no, for sure, I think it's just because I'm just so used to everything, you know, like it. I mean, like you said, you know, like, I don't know life without diabetes,

Scott Benner 14:08
right? That

Tyler 14:10
it's, I mean, especially like, I don't know if it's the fact that I am almost like numbed out to situations like that, or if it's I know, I'm

Scott Benner 14:24
trying to think of, I don't want to put words in your mouth, and so I'm trying, I'm trying to,

Tyler 14:29
like words my mouth right now, that's funny, though.

Scott Benner 14:34
I wonder if it's so commonplace for you that, yeah, when something is important. You can ignore it because it seems so blah. Like, average, like, like, almost like, your room getting dirty. Like, you're like, You ever have that where your mom goes Todd, you got to pick your room up? You're like, yeah, I will. Like, I got you got it. You got it? You and you'll go a week, and you'll just be like, I will, I will. And stuff starts piling up. You think nothing of it. And then when you actually step back and look at it, you're like, oh my god, this is a hot mess in here. Yeah, and like, and like, How did I not notice that this week? It's because it's, it's all around you, and it's something you're so accustomed to that you just don't think of it from another perspective. And I wonder if diabetes isn't that because you were diagnosed so young you don't have any other perspective?

Tyler 15:22
Yeah, that makes sense. No, that totally makes sense. When you said, like, other perspective, that kind of, like, that's interesting, you know, I kind of have a thought about that, you know, it's like, I mean, I get that question very often, you know, of like, wow. Well, how is it to have diabetes? You know, it's like, I don't have another perspective, right? I'm pretty much just repeating what you said right now. But, yeah, you're like, I don't know totally right, yeah, I don't know totally right. Yeah. It would be

Scott Benner 15:50
like, if somebody asked me, like, what's Mars? Like, I'd be like, I mean, I can philosophize about it, but I don't have any perspective firsthand. That's so interesting, exactly, yeah, yeah. I

Tyler 16:01
mean, the human body isn't meant like that, you know, like, there's a reason we can't, like, well, know if there's a reason, but, I mean, it's kind of like imagining infinity, right? You know, like we can only understand it under, you know, different, different terms, you know, like, oh, it's forever, you know. But can the human mind really comprehend? Like, what forever is, yeah. And I think that somebody who has experienced forever probably could Yeah, understand what forever is, yeah,

Scott Benner 16:29
no, I'm looking back now on your very first answer, like, I don't know any different. It's funny. I tried to help you pick through it, but there's nothing for you to pick through. It's kind of, it's kind of wonderful, honestly, like, it seems freeing to me. It

Tyler 16:45
is. It is totally, yeah, one thing i i like that freeing kind of terminology, because it's like, one thing I do think of is, it's like, I mean, somebody who's diagnosed later probably feels like they're stuck in a cage, you know, yeah, because it's been on the outside of the cage Exactly. And yeah, there's no way out. The lock is the lock is on the door, the keys in the trash.

Scott Benner 17:16
Is that how it feels?

Tyler 17:18
I mean, I'm sure that's how it would feel if, you know, to someone who's diagnosed later,

Scott Benner 17:24
yeah, even that, you'd have to wonder, well, you've ever talked to your mom about it? Because she was 20. That's, I mean, listen, that's, you know, 20 years without it,

Tyler 17:34
you know, I don't think me and my mom have ever really had a conversation about diabetes in any way other than like, oh, you know, like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna adjust my basil to this. You know,

Scott Benner 17:46
why do you think you haven't? I don't

Tyler 17:49
know. I honestly don't think

Scott Benner 17:51
it makes her do you think it makes her uncomfortable? Or do you think it makes you uncomfortable?

Tyler 17:56
I don't know if it's uncomfortable. I think it just hasn't really ever came up?

Scott Benner 18:01
No, to be honest, do you and your mom? Do you and your mom have a good relationship? Maybe this is why it doesn't come up. Go ahead, good. Maybe,

Tyler 18:11
yeah, yeah. I mean, we do, you know, I don't know. You know, I dealt with a lot of addiction, you know, and that that definitely made us, you know, our relationship pretty rocky.

Scott Benner 18:26
Tell me about that. Where did that start? Yeah,

Tyler 18:29
so when I was 14, I think either 13 or 14, I went to a athletic boarding school, and I it was pretty much just a frat, okay, you know, like our dorms, and I kind of just found a lot of a lot of comfort in partying, and it kind of just got worse and worse. My daughter

Scott Benner 18:50
is 20 years old. I can't even believe it. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she was two, and she put her first insulin pump on when she was four. That insulin pump was an OmniPod, and it's been an OmniPod every day since then. That's 16 straight years of wearing OmniPod. It's been a friend to us, and I believe it could be a friend to you. Omnipod.com/juice box, whether you get the OmniPod dash or the automation that's available with the OmniPod five, you are going to enjoy tubeless insulin pumping. You're going to be able to jump into a shower or a pool or a bathtub without taking off your pump. That's right, you will not have to disconnect to bathe with an OmniPod. You also won't have to disconnect to play a sport or to do anything where a regular tube pump has to come off. Arden has been wearing an OmniPod for 16 years. She knows other people that wear different pumps, and she has never once asked the question, should I be trying a different pump? Never once omnipod.com/juicebox get a pump that you'll be happy with forever. The Dexcom g7 is. Sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast, and it features a lightning fast 30 minute warm up time that's right from the time you put on the Dexcom g7 till the time you're getting readings 30 minutes. That's pretty great. It also has a 12 hour grace period so you can swap your sensor when it's convenient for you. All that on top of it being small, accurate, incredibly wearable and light. These things, in my opinion, make the Dexcom g7 a no brainer. The Dexcom g7 comes with way more than just this, up to 10 people can follow you. You can use it with type one, type two, or gestational diabetes. It's covered by all sorts of insurances, and this might be the best part. It might be the best part alerts and alarms that are customizable, so that you can be alerted at the levels that make sense to you. Dexcom.com/juicebox, links in the show notes, links at juicebox podcast.com, to Dexcom and all the sponsors. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful, you know. Okay, what were you, I mean, can you look back with some perspective and say what you were trying to escape with the party?

Tyler 21:11
Oh, 100% what? Yeah,

Scott Benner 21:14
what was, what was it you were trying to get away from?

Tyler 21:16
You know, I think there were just a couple of moments in my life that I never really got past, you know, okay? And I don't know if I'm past them now, you know, but it was just, you know, to me, it just felt great, just to not feel anything okay, you know, because, I mean, when you're when you're high or when you're drunk, you you just don't really, I don't know, it's almost like separating yourself from what's happening.

Scott Benner 21:43
Sure, you know, I mean, I understand what being high is, but what is it you were escaping?

Tyler 21:48
You know, my my dad had a had a stroke when I was 14. Oh my gosh, yeah, no, it's all good. He's all right. He's all right. He's not dead. You know, it definitely changed our relationship a lot, and made it, you know, made my my childhood a little bit interesting. You know,

Scott Benner 22:06
tell me. Tell me how it changed your relationship.

Tyler 22:10
You know, I think there were a lot of ways that he couldn't understand a lot of things that were going on. You know, I don't mean that in the way that like he was a vegetable, you know, who was just, you know, not able to comprehend the world, but I don't know if he had,

Scott Benner 22:27
you know, the skills to just be able to so, so he had some cognitive impairments. Oh, for sure. Okay, and has he overcome them, or has he just learned to live with them?

Tyler 22:38
It's actually so it's been, it's been a bit since I've really talked to him about it, but from an outsider's perspective, I'd say that he tries his hardest. You know, like there, I feel like anger management was a big deal for both of us. You know, when that first started, because I've always had a bit of a short temper, and then, you know, with that

Scott Benner 23:02
he did, did he have it before the stroke or just after?

Tyler 23:05
He definitely did, but it was a lot worse after, you know, and so we'd get in fights. We were just pitted against each other for a solid two years. Do

Scott Benner 23:15
you have Tyler? Can I ask you? Do you have similar personalities?

Tyler 23:21
Oh yeah, oh yeah. All right, no, me and my dad are kind of like, we're kind of like photocopies, you know. And sometimes that's awesome, you know, if, if something's going on, you know, we're both on the same, on the same playing field there, you know, it's just like, oh yeah, let's do this. Yes.

Scott Benner 23:39
So very similar reactions. Oh, for sure. So if you two are, if you two are involved in a personal discussion, that makes one of you angry, it's very likely going to make the other one angry too. Exactly, there's no yeah, there's no Ying to anybody's Yang, everybody's Yang, or everybody's Ying. Exactly, yeah, oh, wow. We could call your episode Yang Yang,

Tyler 24:00
yeah. Yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 24:03
that's an awesome thank you. I like that. It's part of my it's part of my charm. I'm gonna write that down. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you and Yang. Yang are fighting all the time. It gets worse when he has a stroke, because he probably doesn't have as many of the interpersonal skills and the desire to stop fighting and stuff like that. Plus you see him sick, which for a young kid, is hard, yeah, right. And then you don't know how to process that, process that feeling that, Oh, my God, my dad's not invincible. He could die. Then, yeah, by the way, Tyler, after you have that thought, your brain goes, Oh, I could die. Did you know that?

Tyler 24:39
Oh, for sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 24:42
So then sports, boarding school. What sport did you play? Was it for skiing? Yeah.

Tyler 24:47
So I was fed of skier, and then while I was over there, I got into whitewater kayaking.

Scott Benner 24:53
It's funny, you said whitewater kayaking because I thought this is the whitest story I've ever heard in my life. But go ahead,

Tyler 24:59
I. Oh yeah, no, 100% Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 25:03
You didn't know anybody with a tan at that school. I would even imagine, right, with a what? There was not even anybody there with a tan at that school, I would imagine, oh yeah, no.

Tyler 25:13
It was mostly gingers,

Scott Benner 25:18
kayaking, White Water white water kayaking. Yeah. Okay, so, all right, yeah. So to paint a picture, not to make fun, I'm somewhere where there's some kids who are reasonably well off, grew up pretty, like, comfortably that fair, yeah, okay, yes, yeah. And then we all get together with our different problems, we all feel a little above it all, because we're very good athletes. We're such good athletes that we get to go to a special school about it, right? Yeah, yeah. And then you're on your own in dorms. Then one kid goes, I have weed, and then the next thing you know, you're doing heroin. Is that about how it went?

Tyler 25:55
Yeah? And I heroin was never my thing.

Scott Benner 25:58
What did you do? Tom, what was your stuff?

Tyler 26:02
So, I was a big alcoholic, you know, okay, and then, from alcohol it, you know, I smoked a lot of weed. To this day, we're not, I'm not, you know, 100% sure exactly what it was. I started to go into a little bit of, like, almost a psychosis out of state. Yo, were

Scott Benner 26:20
you? What were you doing? Like, Turbo bongs. Like, what were you you doing, dabs? I'm being serious. How far were you going?

Tyler 26:27
Yeah, so, I mean, you know, there's, there's kind of a prediction among my family that I was smoking spice, you know, and I thought what you told them,

Scott Benner 26:39
Don't worry. We got at the gas station. It's fine. Oh, you're laughing because you've said that, because you've lied and sold somebody that before. It's Delta. What is it? Delta eight. Delta. What is that? Yeah, fake weed.

Tyler 26:53
No. You know, I had a lot of friends who were not getting their drugs through very reliable sources,

Scott Benner 27:00
really, you know, surprising, but go ahead,

Tyler 27:05
I'm gonna laugh my way through this episode, man. But I was like, legit homeless at this point. You know, this was a year after I left that boarding school because, you know, my parents saw me going down a dark path, so I went to a public school, you know, which was pretty interesting. You know, I had gone to public schools before, but not as like someone who enjoys substances.

Scott Benner 27:29
This is so interesting, how this moves around. Give me a second. You go to that school when you're 14, yep. How long did you make it before they kicked you out for drinking? I'm assuming,

Tyler 27:40
no, I actually, I left.

Scott Benner 27:42
You left on your own when I was 16. I see two years you gained a lot of knowledge about weed and booze while you were there, and then you and then you went back to a public school and spread what you knew to your new friend.

Tyler 27:56
Exactly. Yeah, they were meth heads. At that point,

Scott Benner 27:59
the kids in public school. Wait, the kids in public school are doing math. The private school friends were up to

Tyler 28:05
meth. Oh, no, no, sorry, the public school friends, ah, we're, we're all methods. So you

Scott Benner 28:11
were, you were a piker, like, when you got to back to school, you know the word piker? You don't know the word like, not a professional, an amateur, like you, yeah, yeah, your weed and alcohol looks like looks like Sunday in the Park to these people. Oh

Tyler 28:33
yeah for sure. Okay, yeah. Now,

Scott Benner 28:35
yeah. Now, Tyler, at that point, you say to yourself, I don't want to be like them. I'm not going to smoke meth. Or you say, No,

Tyler 28:44
I became homeless. Wow, holy,

Scott Benner 28:48
Tyler. Are you serious? And by the way, Tyler, no,

Tyler 28:51
I was never, I was never a method, okay, but one day, I got an ate the weed that smelled like straight Drano, and decide to smoke it fentanyl? No, I don't think so. So, so spice is like, it's like a synthetic weed, okay, but it's kind of turned to, like, it's almost like wet now, you know what they were getting, which is essentially just embalming fluid.

Scott Benner 29:21
Okay, that's great, yeah, yeah. Everyone should be really just they, I mean, my God, the world's a terrible place. Tyler, they say, I've got this weed, but if we mix it with Drano, I can sell more. That's a meth head thought, right there, by the way. Okay, so, okay, so you, so you are in private school. I mean, your parents are probably fairly disappointed you get kicked out of this thing where they were probably like, Oh my God, my son's gonna be the next white water kayaking champion of the world. Again, that's a white state. It. And then Dane Jackson's a pretty cool guy, yeah, okay, he's the one guy. I mean, it's not a thing to go after. So you so you come home, they're disappointed. You're obviously disappointed. You feel caught a little bit. You double down. You meet these kids at school, or literally smoking meth. And then how long until after you're 16, are you out of the house?

Tyler 30:21
It was like, two months into my senior year. Okay, so you made

Scott Benner 30:25
it at home for a year and a half or so?

Tyler 30:29
Yeah, I left my junior year from it's called CRMs school up here. I went to public school my

Scott Benner 30:38
Tyler. I'm sure they're thrilled for the shout out, by the way.

Tyler 30:41
Oh no, I hate them.

Scott Benner 30:43
I hate them. Okay, so Jesus Christ. Also, I'm realizing now all this whole story happened, like a year ago. This is like, not this is not like, are you clean right now?

Tyler 30:55
Yeah. So I'm eight months clean sober. Oh, good for you, man. Yeah, so I just got out rehab.

Scott Benner 31:02
Are you California sober? Are you sober? Sober? No,

Tyler 31:06
I have not touched a single thing. Yeah. I went to a kava bar the other night for an open mic. Did not drink a single thing at Kaaba.

Scott Benner 31:15
You went to a bar last night? What to test yourself? No, it

Tyler 31:18
was like two weeks ago, like tonight. I got out of rehab. Tyler, listen to me.

Scott Benner 31:24
If I gave you a cell phone, if I gave you a cell phone number, it's going to be a burner phone, don't worry. But if I gave you a cell phone number, would you run all of your decisions by me first, and I could just yay or nay them real quickly. You would. I think you need help with that. You got out of rehab and went to a bar.

Tyler 31:40
Yes, my buddy was hosting an open mic night at it's called, like, a cabo bar, so it's not like alcohol. And all my buddies were like, Dude, you're gonna, like, go there and get super fucked up on Cabo. And I was like, No, and I didn't, you know,

Scott Benner 31:55
well, Tyler, I'm fine. I'm proud of you for that. But could you make some friends that, like, read the kids at a library or something like that? I think that would be a better path for you. Oh, man, so I wish Are you? Do you think of yourself as an alcoholic or somebody who, at a young age, just drank way too much?

Tyler 32:12
I think myself as an alcoholic. Okay, you know, I'm in the 12 step program. Okay? You know, I go into meetings and I say, Hi, I'm Ty I'm an alcoholic, you know, and that that's a really important part, just because, you know, I mean, nobody starts out, nobody, nobody goes out as an alcoholic. And just like, like, the the signs of alcoholism don't start when you're, like, 30, you know, it's, it's not

Scott Benner 32:40
like you have an addictive personality to begin with.

Tyler 32:43
Exactly, okay, yeah. And I let that manifest for, you know, a long time, not a long time, but couple years. And then, you know, I decided to get my together, and it's kind of where I'm at today, you know.

Scott Benner 32:57
So, help me with the timeline a little bit. You're, you go, you go to the private high school. You're there a couple of years. You come out. You're an alcoholic. You're smoking way too much weed. Like what I said earlier, like, I'm not kidding, right? Like you were like, like, hitting heavy bongs, doing dabs, like you were off the deep end there. And you, you talk about a little bit of a psychosis. I don't know a ton about it, but I have heard people say weed is so safe for people, unless you have a little something like a personality issue, like disorder or something like that, then too much of it could really take you the wrong way, and you could lose yourself. Do you feel like you're on your Do you feel like you're on your way to losing yourself? And you stopped? I

Tyler 33:37
think I lost myself. Man, oh, yeah, 100% you know, by like, the way, I know that is because I was not me, you know, I was homeless for it wasn't a ton of time, you know, but by the time I came out of it, I was, you know, like I was suicidal, you know, I, I mean, I wasn't, like, hearing voices, but like, I had, like, No, I would say I had, like, no regulation of, like, what I thought or what I was doing, you know,

Scott Benner 34:09
kind of live like an insect. Like, you wake up, you you seek drugs, you sleep under a rock, like, that kind of thing. Like, it's just over and over, like, over and over again, right? Like, you're just in this very simple like thing, what drug got you home? Like, what got you kicked out of your house? Did you leave? Or did you get kicked out?

Tyler 34:25
I left, which, you know, looking back, I mean, you know that that's kind of where it's it's hard for me to look back at that, you know, because I just don't see me in that period of my life. You know,

Scott Benner 34:39
if you now, would you now have counseled that kid to, like, just ask for help, not to leave?

Tyler 34:47
Oh, 100% Yeah, yeah. Well, because, like, you know, all my meth head buddies were homeless, so I was like, hey, I'll come, you know, roam the streets with you guys. And so that's kind of, kind of how it went.

Scott Benner 34:59
There. How old were the guys in this very sad gang you were in? Like, are they all your age, or were they older? Did they vary?

Tyler 35:08
Yeah, they were all my age. You know, kidding. They were, like, Junior seniors in high school. Tyler,

Scott Benner 35:15
can you tell me, without being very specific, because I don't want to know what town you live in, but can you tell me, like, what part of the country you live in?

Tyler 35:21
I'm in the mountains of Colorado, Colorado. Okay,

Scott Benner 35:25
I gotcha the weeds. Okay, there's that story of when we got legal in Colorado. There was a big Fortune 500 company there. They had to leave, and one of them, but like, when, like, internal memos, like the one guy's like, look, I ask a package to be FedEx, and three days later, like, my employees are like, Yo, man, I'm getting to it. Don't worry.

That before it was like, we had, we couldn't do business because everybody was so high. They weren't, like, in our they weren't there to work. Oh, yeah, so yeah. But

Tyler 36:02
do you are you in a legalized state? I

Scott Benner 36:04
am. I'm in New Jersey. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could drive 10 minutes from here in two different directions and and buy weed, like, in two seconds, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tyler 36:15
I mean, that was a big part of it, you know, like, at a certain point I started selling weeds, you know, to high schoolers, because it's 21 plus, you know, and then I started, you know, making fake IDs that I could, you know, help other people buy weed. So weed was, like, a huge part of my life. Yeah, you're

Scott Benner 36:34
an entrepreneur. I understand what

Tyler 36:36
you're saying. You're an entrepreneur. Yeah,

Scott Benner 36:38
that's what you tell people. Say, I was an entrepreneur for a while, small business owner, but I've moved on now. And yeah, so, so, but I gotta go back. Also, I lost your audio. You're a little dim all of a sudden. And I don't know why. Sorry. No better, but you know, much better. Awesome. There was a group of guys your age. Guys are guys and girls, guys and girls your age who were using meth and or somehow, like, strung out and literally homeless, yeah. And how long did that last for for you? And are some of them still out there?

Tyler 37:15
Yeah? So, you know, I was only on the streets for like, a month before I broke down, and I was just like, screw this. Like, I'm done. You know, yeah, a lot of them are still out there.

Scott Benner 37:26
I almost called you a quitter. Tyler, just trying to be funny. Actually, that's not what. It first occurred to me. I know I'm like, 30 years older than you. This is inappropriate, but at first you were like, I was only out there a month. And I thought, pussy. But, but, I'm glad. I'm glad so you you couldn't deal with it. You got away from it. How do you get out of it? Then,

Tyler 37:48
you know, I, the way I really got out of it was when I got arrested. That'll slow you down. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, because it was just like, you know, we had this, like, group chat and, like, the day, you know, they all thought I would turn, you know, and like, be like, Oh yeah, blah, blah, blah, you know. And, you know, like, literally, the day after I got arrested, like, that group chat, just like, didn't exist anymore. And I was like, Cool. Well, you know, I've wanted to, you know, I don't want to say get out of this life, because it makes me sound like I was like a Crip. But, you know, kind of get out of this life. You know,

Scott Benner 38:29
Tyler, listen, no matter how horrible your story is, you still sound like a white kid from Colorado. So you're never gonna You don't sound that tough, trust me, I know. I don't try to sound so it sounds like you fell off your your surfboard and, by mistake, did some cocaine. But Are your parents addicts? No, they're not.

Tyler 38:53
No, I have a pretty strong, you know, history of addiction on my dad's side, but my mom's side is, you know, pretty clean cut. Does

Scott Benner 39:02
your dad have addictive tendencies that come out different ways other than drugs?

Tyler 39:06
That's a good question, like through process, addictions and

Scott Benner 39:09
stuff, yeah, oh, look at you using look at you using your your recovery. Words, go ahead. Yeah,

Tyler 39:16
no, I think that, um, really interesting. I'm

Scott Benner 39:20
not looking for you to out your dad, just that simple, like, yes or no. Like, you don't have to give me a story about how he, like, you know, goes to hookers or something like that, and like to be dominated or something like, I don't I'm not looking for personal details. I'm sure also, your father does not go to hookers and like to be dominated. But like, what I'm saying is, like, you know, what I'm saying is, like, do you see those tendencies in him that are coming out in different ways. And for you, it came out this way.

Oh, man, I don't, you know, yeah,

you just skipped a generation almost.

Tyler 39:49
I think that is skipped a generation for sure. Yeah, yeah, no. And that that's kind of something that, like, we've looked over, you know, like, especially like when I was in recovery. I'm like, Well, where does this come from, you know? Because, I mean, like, I was in sober living, that's where I was, where I spent the past, like, seven months, yeah, and like, all these people, you know, they're like, oh yeah. My, my dad was, you know, a heroin addict, or, like, oh yeah, my, my mom was a, you know, she was strung out, and she was a hooker, you know? And I'm just like, oh, well, my dad's a compliance officer, so I

Scott Benner 40:26
was going to be a whitewater Raptor. It's only if volleyball didn't work out, or bocce, yeah, like, so, no, no, I yeah, my,

Tyler 40:35
my professional spike ball tournament does, or ever, yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 40:39
no, no, I play soccer, that's interesting. So my point, my bigger point, is, so when this happened to your parents, really did not know how to, like, they didn't have the tools

Tyler 40:47
for this, right? Oh, yeah, no, not at all. And I think that was, you know, like when I was earlier on in recovery, you know that that was that put a huge block in a relationship, because it was just like there were certain things that I knew that I couldn't talk to them about because they wouldn't understand. Do you

Scott Benner 41:09
find yourself angry that they couldn't help you?

Tyler 41:12
I think I definitely had a lot of resentment towards them. You know, whether it was, yeah, I think that a lot of resentment kind of built up over time, and you know that that's, you know, not, not a good thing,

Scott Benner 41:28
yeah, and it's just because you, you're a little boy, and you need help, and your parents aren't helping you,

Tyler 41:36
exactly. And I that's not because, like, it's not like they neglected me. It's, it's the fact that, like, I mean, I'm, I'm a homeless drug addict, and, you know, like, they, they've never experienced that. It's almost like coming back to diabetes, you know, like, you know, so some random, like, some random guy who has a working pancreas, like, can't walk up to a diabetic and, you know, explain to them, you know, how their basal works, you know,

Scott Benner 42:05
yeah, no, it's interesting though, that, you know, the anger, but you also understand it's unreasonable.

Tyler 42:12
Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's a huge part, you know, because, like, addiction takes people and it makes them not them.

Scott Benner 42:20
You know, yeah, if you don't go to the private school, do you think you get caught up in it in public school anyway? Or do you think that being like trapped in those dorms with all that just you didn't have a chance? It's

Tyler 42:34
an interesting question. Never really thought about that. I think that it wouldn't really matter, you know. Like, I think that, you know, like, I mean, there were definitely places where I kind of started, like, looking back on it, I can see addiction kind of starting to form even before I went to that school, okay,

Scott Benner 42:56
you know, maybe what it looks like is just different. Like, maybe at the if you stay at the private institution, you're a closet drinker and a weed smoker and you've got all these problems, but it looks all clean cut still, and it gets shined up because you're at that school and you're in a public situation where these kids maybe have fewer things to prop them up and Help them, and it tumbles quicker plus those. I mean, if you look at the social aspects of what it takes to pay for somebody to be in a public school versus a private school, you probably weren't going to private school with a bunch of kids whose moms had to hook you know what? I mean, yeah, yeah. No, not at all. Right, so you kind of like you shifted the social aspect. So no matter what, you were going to end up addicted to something and on a bad path, but the physical manifestation of it, public school to private school changes. Does that make sense? Yeah,

Tyler 43:52
oh, for sure. And I think that. I don't think I would be where I am today if you know, I hadn't gone from, you know, like private school kid to homeless, you know, in a matter of a year,

Scott Benner 44:07
yeah, the bottoming out so quickly was probably, I can't believe I'm saying this, but probably good for you, because if you stay, if you stay there, you're going to get propped up by the system forever. You're just going to turn into a 30 year old drunk that's hitting somebody. Oh, exactly, yeah. So those kids, those kids at those private school, aren't any better off than you are. You just crashed faster than they are going to

Tyler 44:30
Yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. That Interesting. Yeah, no. I mean, I look back at, like, my friends from that school, you know. And like, you know, we're on like Snapchat, you know, and they post videos them, like, binge drinking on a beach somewhere, because that's, you know, what they have the ability to do. And by the way, you know, like, I'm, I don't come from like a like poverty, but I, I'm not as well off. My family isn't as well off as, yeah, most. To those people just because I got, you know, huge financial aid and scholarship, yeah, my,

Scott Benner 45:04
my son once said to me at college, like, we're not we're not uncomfortable, and we're not wealthy, you know what? I mean, like, I'm I'm okay, yeah, but my son once told me, my, my son once told me, I am the poorest person here.

Tyler 45:16
I was by far the poorest person at that school? Yeah, they had a scholarship program for, like, indigenous people. So I don't know if I was like, the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, but I wasn't. I didn't fit in with those people close enough, like, right? Not like, I don't want to name drop, so I'm not gonna say anything other than, like, my, one of my classmates was the heir to a very well known diamond company, oh, you know. And, like, I lived in the suburbs of Broomfield, Colorado, you know, like, wow,

Scott Benner 45:56
yeah. And, and, did you feel a pressure to kind of do what they were doing. Did they seem more advanced or fancy to you?

Tyler 46:04
Oh, yeah, yeah. 100% Yeah. Like for one of my roommates, you know, we, we did not get along, just because that, that barrier was huge. He was from China, and his dad would literally send him 1000s of dollars at a time just to do whatever he wants with it, really, you know, yeah, like, he didn't speak very good English, you know. And he would literally, like, have me order him. There was this sushi place in town that served like a wagyu steak with like gold on it. And it was like, I think it was, like, 150 bucks, like, completely ridiculous, you know. And he'd be like, you know, order me this, like, here's my dad's credit card.

Scott Benner 46:50
Oh no, yeah, that's not healthy.

Tyler 46:52
It's not, yeah, you're

Scott Benner 46:54
not going to be okay in that situation. Yeah. And he

Tyler 46:57
ended up getting kicked out of school just because he didn't, he didn't have those skills to really deal with real life, you know, like he would sit on his computer for hours on end, you know. And so he got, he got, they don't call it expelled there. They call it politely asked to leave the community, yeah, just because it's that type of school,

Scott Benner 47:18
no one gets expelled here. That's, expelled everyone. We have a 96% graduation rate. Don't worry, of all the people who were reporting that graduated,

Tyler 47:29
yeah, yeah, pretty much, pretty much,

Scott Benner 47:32
yeah. How about that? Problems like this, they can touch anybody you know, Oh, for sure. But how it manifests does sometimes have a lot to do with your your social setting and your financial backing.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, 100%

when I was growing up, kids at my school drank and the kids at my cousin's school did Coke, and yeah, they had more money and that, in the end, that's all it was like, my my friends could afford beer and his friends could afford drugs. Like, that was all it was,

Tyler 48:03
you know, yeah, no, 100% Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just to say a little bit about my hometown, they they did meth. So, yeah, that's, that's my town, yeah,

Scott Benner 48:14
Tyler's like, I'm just trying to say I didn't have a whole bunch of money, but you were a hell of a kayaker. Slash. What else was? It was the other ski racer. Oh, my God, do you still ski? Oh, yeah, competitively, or for fun,

Tyler 48:33
I don't ski competitively. I was on a team last year, but this year, you know, I was in rehab, so I didn't really, it's

Scott Benner 48:42
hard to see. Have you heard Have you heard Chris Freeman on this podcast? He's been on a number of times. Chris is an he's an Olympic cross country scare. His type one,

Tyler 48:51
really? Yeah, I don't think I've ever caught one of those episodes. I'm gonna have to listen to it. Though he's a

Scott Benner 48:57
no bullshit guy. Like, I like him, like he's got his the way about him, his attention to detail and excellence and stuff like that. Like, there's no, there's no question in my mind how he ended up in the Olympics. Like, 100% Yeah, I just made me think of that just now that maybe you would like to hear that anyway. Yeah, why the hell did you want to come on this podcast?

Tyler 49:19
I don't know. I don't know, Scott, that's a, that's a really good question. I heard the after dark episodes. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 49:27
think you qualify, by the way, really, I mean, dude, wow. You think the nice ladies that listen are going to want to be blindsided by an 18 year old homeless kid with like, in a roaming gang of meth heads, sounds like an episode of like The Walking Dead you're describing to me. Oh, man, I'm sorry to ask like this, because I feel weird because you're younger, but was there a lot of unsafe sex in that month on the streets? Oh,

Tyler 49:58
oh yeah. Yeah, 100% I had, I had two separate pregnancy scares in 2022,

Scott Benner 50:05
you thought you were pregnant twice. Just kidding. Okay, Tyler, you got to tell him. Like, not here somewhere else. You know what I mean. Like, yeah, you can't, like, you can't let boys treat you like that. Tyler, Oh, no. But so with another, with a homeless girl, yeah, yeah,

Tyler 50:24
yeah, no, I'm, I'm very surprised I don't have the clap.

Scott Benner 50:29
No kidding. Did you get checked out when you got off the street?

Tyler 50:32
Oh, yeah, yeah, even though I was on the street, you know, like I would go to school every couple you know, every couple days, you know? But I was, like, in the system, I think I had officially dropped out. They had this clinic that I would go and get tested at in my school.

Scott Benner 50:50
There's a VD clinic at your school, yeah, yeah. I think when you get to that point, you have bigger problems. You just start, like, looking into like, you know what? It reminds me of? This girl came on one time, it's an after dark, and she talked about, like, how important it is to test your drugs before you take them. Oh, yeah. And I let her have that conversation because I thought, you know, if somebody's in that situation, I would want them to test your drugs. But there was that other voice in my head that was going, Hey, is this not a red flag for you? Like, you know, you live in a world where you're constantly going, I wonder if this is going to kill me, and your answer isn't leave the world, it's, I'll get a test. You know what? I mean? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is weird. No. I

Tyler 51:34
mean, I know a lot of fentanyl addicts, a lot of fentanyl addicts, yeah, you know? I mean, it's kind of one of the misconceptions, you know, is it's like, you know, fentanyl is an incredibly deadly drug, like, so is heroin, and there's a reason that people like heroin. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 51:50
no. Did you hear the did you hear the after dark with the with the girl who was an exotic dancer stripper, and she said her father, like, died from a fentanyl overdose, like recently, like, when she was recording it, yeah, yeah,

Tyler 52:04
yeah. It was a bit ago. I don't know how long it was, probably a month or two since I've heard that, but yeah,

Scott Benner 52:12
Kyle, let me ask you a question that I know. Yeah, I know you're not gonna, like, know the exact answer to but every 100 kids in a in your public high school? How many of them are doing drugs out of every 100? Oh,

Tyler 52:27
well, like, define drugs, even

Scott Benner 52:30
that's a problem. That's like when I just said the other thing, define drugs. How many people smoke weed now?

Tyler 52:38
Oh, I'd say, well, like at my school, probably 75 80%

Scott Benner 52:45
they smoking to get higher. They smoking because they can't sleep or what do they say?

Tyler 52:49
Most of them smoke to get high. Okay, so I grew up, well, I didn't grow up here, but you know, like I've spent, you know, where the school was, where I went to or I went to public school is like an extremely, you know, underprivileged community, just because we're right near a huge, really rich, really famous ski town, you know. And so it's all immigrants. And, you know, I mean, I've met some of the best people I've ever met are immigrants, you know, but there's also a really hard way of life, and there's a way to deal with that hard way of life, you know. And drugs

Scott Benner 53:27
gotcha, yeah, okay, so 75 to 80% of kids smoke weed. How many of them drink?

Tyler 53:34
Oh, geez, I'd probably say 70% okay,

Scott Benner 53:38
so weed's more popular than alcohol at this point. But when they drink, they drink

Tyler 53:42
the blackout, you know, I'd say, like, casually, probably like 50% but like actual, like hardcore drinkers, I'd probably say falls more into like, 10% okay,

Scott Benner 53:56
so some of the Okay, cocaine, pretty easy to get at school.

Tyler 54:01
It was, I don't think a lot of people were doing coke. Okay, are there? Are

Scott Benner 54:07
there kids doing heroin? Even

Tyler 54:09
my meth head buddies didn't screw around with heroin.

Scott Benner 54:11
Isn't that interesting, okay? But meth was big.

Tyler 54:16
Meth, all right, yeah, so meth is like, meth is like the, I don't know how to describe it. It's kind of like the PBR of drugs,

Scott Benner 54:30
okay, cheap and readily available, that kind of feeling. Oh, exactly.

Tyler 54:35
It's, yeah. I mean, you know, you can get an eighth of meth for, you know, 50 bucks. I

Scott Benner 54:43
like, I like that. You think 50 bucks isn't a lot of money. I'm over here. I'm so old. I'm like, 50. Oh, my God.

Tyler 54:51
I mean, you can, you know, an ounce of wheat is 120

Scott Benner 54:55
so is it really, yeah. Oh, because you have to buy, you know. Buying it legally, though, right?

Tyler 55:02
Well, when I was selling it, I'd buy it legally and

Scott Benner 55:05
then resell it to underage people that couldn't get their hands on it. Exactly.

Tyler 55:09
So, like, that's good business. Like an eighth, you know, I could buy an eighth for probably 20 bucks, and I would sell it for 40 to 50. Okay,

Scott Benner 55:16
they just keep doubling up your money. Yeah, exactly. You are an entrepreneur, Tyler, see,

Tyler 55:23
I know, yeah, I need to put that on my resume. Yeah, drug dealer.

Scott Benner 55:30
You say you're an investment counselor, that would be the way to put it. I think, Okay, put a percentage on not your not the ones you just knew, but the whole student body. What percentage of them using meth, I think that more or less than the blackout drinkers.

Tyler 55:46
Oh, definitely less, less. Okay, yeah, okay, no. I mean, I was like, I'd say that like 90% of the students that were doing like meth at my school were in that, in my friend group, you know, just because it's like, you know, I mean, it's not really a thing, that we're not going to the party, and someone like, pulls out, and they're like,

Scott Benner 56:09
Oh my God, finally, It's finally Friday. I had such a tough day, uh, today with my testing, thank God I have my math as

Tyler 56:16
well. Stay up for five days. Yeah,

Scott Benner 56:21
get you laughing about it. So there's like, a handful of people, a fewer than 30

Tyler 56:27
there. Yeah, there were probably 15.

Scott Benner 56:29
Okay, that's still a lot of people in one high school.

Tyler 56:33
You know what? I mean, yeah, yeah, for sure. Wow, yeah. And, I mean, at the school I went to, like, my freshman year is, like the covid year. That's why I went to the boarding school. Yeah, I definitely say that Coke was a much bigger thing at my old school, just because it was just, it was, it was like the, the future frapros of America over at my old school.

Scott Benner 56:56
Yeah, no, I know they're all gonna, they're all gonna work in, um, in finance one day, right?

Tyler 57:02
Exactly. Yeah, yeah, right.

Scott Benner 57:05
Math majors gonna have a bottle of gin on

Tyler 57:07
their on their desk. Their boss is gonna be screaming at them all day, and that's the but they can say that they went to an athletic boarding school, so it's okay, yeah, yep,

Scott Benner 57:17
I know this story. Okay, all right, did you manage your diabetes while you were homeless?

Tyler 57:23
Yeah, that was another thing i i think we haven't gone over yet. No, yeah,

Scott Benner 57:29
you're like, No, I was not, by the way, if you were, I would have been so confused by that, like, no, Scott, I was having unsafe sex with homeless women and doing meth, but I was very careful to pre bolus whenever we ate out of a dumpster. And like, you know, so you were you doing anything? You're taking your basal? I'm sorry I'm making you laugh about something so serious. But did you, did you take your basal? At least? Yeah,

Tyler 57:53
yeah. So I have a Teasel next to and at that point the kind of control IQ thing was, was in existence, yeah, you know. So I think control IQ definitely, you know, played a big part in my ANC not being 15. I mean, it was tough, you know, like, I kept, like, a box of supplies with me, and I had like, two or three vials. So, you know, it wasn't like, you know, throwing away my insulin pump and smashing my insulin bottles, you know, like, you

Scott Benner 58:26
didn't want to die. I didn't want to die, right, right? Yeah, I was going to make a stupid joke about, like, wild tandem. Can use that in their marketing, the official pump of roaming meth head teenagers everywhere, but, but instead, I, I take it very seriously that it sounds like it it kind of like saved you when you weren't able to take care of yourself, at least you had that pump and that algorithm was running, oh, 100% Yeah,

Tyler 58:50
yeah, yeah. I I'd say that control IQ was just like, a huge thing for me. I didn't see an endo for five or six months. If

Scott Benner 59:01
only we could have got one of those endos hooked on meth, you probably could have seen him every day. Yeah, that's all we needed. Yeah.

Tyler 59:07
All he needs is a key to a pharmaceutical closet. Five

Scott Benner 59:11
months didn't see an endo. One month didn't live at home. We're still bouncing in and out of school, which I found a little confusing, but not in and out of your house. Where did your parents think you were and were they actively trying to get you back?

Tyler 59:23
Yeah, and that's kind of one of the big things I remember, like, I met with my parents, like, once while I was like, homeless, you know, it was kind of just to talk about, like, hey, this, this kind of sucks, like, we repair this relationship a little bit, you know. And I was drunk and probably high out of my mind, but that, you know, which I think made him really sad. But, um, yeah, it was definitely, you know, pretty it was hard on them, you know,

Scott Benner 59:53
is that part of your 12 steps? Have you apologized to your mom dad? Yeah, it's,

Tyler 59:57
it's step nine. Okay. You know, make a list of all all persons you've harmed. Make amends to them, except when to do so would cause personal injury to them or others. Okay?

Scott Benner 1:00:08
And you've done that with everybody in your life already. Yes, wow, yeah,

Tyler 1:00:13
yes. That was one of the things that I kind of went through in in rehab, is just working through the steps. You know, it's kind of a joke, you know, like, oh yeah, I go to the 12 steps. But it works. It works when

Scott Benner 1:00:27
you need something, you need something, you know, to, you know, I know people, some people bitch about it, and some people love it, but, you know, help a lot of people. So I can see the value in it. For short, do you think you're so. So it's funny because you've told a story that has, like, you should be 48 years old, you know what I mean? But, but instead you're, like, you're barely Are you in college right now?

Tyler 1:00:52
I, uh, my first semester is coming up. Good

Scott Benner 1:00:55
for you. Hey, can you do something real, not some white kid thing, like, like, skateboarding or something like that. Like, actually, like, do something

Tyler 1:01:01
science major.

Scott Benner 1:01:02
There you go. Thank you. I'm gonna do philosophy Scott and figure out why? Like, oh, god no, that's okay. I'm going into politics. So you've got your start. Gonna start college. My question was, can you, like, fast forward yourself, make yourself 60, and look back and think, like, this is all just gonna be like, a weird blip in my journey one day the like, a story I'll tell people, and they'll be like, God, really? Tyler, that's crazy. Or, do you think? Or are you very worried you'll backslide and that there's no chance you're going to escape this like, it feels to me like you're at the brim of a black hole in a science fiction movie, and we're not sure if your thrusters are enough to get you out of it, or if you're going to get sucked back in. Like, but where do you where do you think you are you're referring to, like, relapse, yeah. Like, do you think this is, do you think that's who you are? Do you think this is who you are?

Tyler 1:02:01
I think that, you know, I mean, it's definitely something that has crossed my mind, you know, a couple times it's, I mean, that that's kind of one of the things, you know, is like, addiction, you know, like most people, kind of like, tend to, kind of like, walk lightly when it comes to things that, like, can ruin your life, you know, like, you don't, like, ask people about, like, if they're going to be able to pay their mortgage this month, you know. But an addiction, it's like, that's something you talk about, you know, it's like, something that, like, you you get out in the open so that you can deal with it.

Scott Benner 1:02:36
Gotta be ahead of it. I would imagine Exactly, yeah, if I gave you $1 and I said, You got to bet Tyler, are you going to be this? Tyler moving forward? Are you going to be that? Tyler moving forward one day, like, Do you know what side you bet on right now

Tyler 1:02:50
I put all the money I have to my name right now on the side that I'm going to be my true self. Good for you. That's

Scott Benner 1:02:57
excellent. Well, I believe in you. You believe in you, that's for sure. And

Tyler 1:03:01
I think that, you know, I say that, you know, because, I mean, if I'm in this mindset of, it's just like, Oh yeah, well, you know, I'll probably relapse someday and be homeless again, and, you know, this time, I might get into fentanyl. You know, it's like that, that's, that's something that's on your mind. It's something that you know you're, you're thinking about and considering, yeah, you know, because, like any normal person, they wouldn't be like, oh yeah. Like, going and grabbing some fentanyl, sounds really nice, right now, you know,

Scott Benner 1:03:32
I don't Tyler, I don't know, but I'm with you. I understand what you're saying. Like, you know, when people are like, you know, and they're like, Yeah, I know. Like, yeah, I know. Like, you just said, you know? And I'm like, No, I don't. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have that piece. Like, do you think about getting high and you have to actively work not to? Or is it not a thing that's burdening you at the moment? Oh,

Tyler 1:03:52
every day you do think about it. Every day, okay, yeah, if somebody comes up to you and they're like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm an I'm an addict or I'm an alcoholic, but I never think about it, they're lying. You know, either that or they're not an alcoholic or an addict, you know, simply because that's the divining. The difference between somebody who has never dealt with addiction and somebody who has is craving. You know, okay, you know. I mean, once you've, once you've had that, you know, I mean,

Scott Benner 1:04:21
it's almost like you're like, your body's wired for it. Then, right, exactly,

Tyler 1:04:26
yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like,

Scott Benner 1:04:31
like you're like, almost like eating sugar, like your receptors are wide open for this sugar, and, like, exactly, okay, yes,

Tyler 1:04:37
oh, that's a perfect example. Because, like, everybody in modern culture is, like, addicted to sugar. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:04:44
that's the thing you can understand. Or, like, coffee drinkers who, like, you ever heard somebody's like, I can't get my day going without coffee. I'm like, Oh my God, you're addicted to it. And, you know, I just like it. Okay?

Tyler 1:04:54
So I can stop anytime I want. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:04:59
right after these three. Two liter bottles of Diet Coke. I'll get right to it. So you like the cafe? It's always the Diet Coke. Yeah. Do you like the caffeine? No, I like the flavor. Okay, so, yeah, why do I have such a headache? I haven't had a glass of soda in three minutes? Yeah, I hear you. Oh, man, it's a lot. You have your brothers or sisters or anybody close to you that can help you. I'm an only child, are you really?

Tyler 1:05:22
Yeah. I mean, I consider every single one of the guys that I want to recover with, you know, brother,

Scott Benner 1:05:28
good, good. You feel like you have somebody to lean on if you need it. Oh, 100% okay, yeah. Can I just say please don't go to a bar like, please.

Tyler 1:05:40
I won't. Thank you. I won't. I feel like that's not a good idea. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:05:44
like, so you know, I agree. Yeah, yeah, boy, man, that's a hell of a story. You got a lot, a lot to say in a short time of being on this planet. That's really something. By the time I was 18, if you would have been like, tell me about yourself, I'd have been like, I like movies. I don't know what I want to do. Like, I'm not sure about what I want to do for work. I just graduated from high school. I'm trying to get this girl to go out with me. Like, that's about the most I could have said about my life when I was 18. Yeah, man, you've been through, I wonder if you won't have the same experience with life that you had with diabetes, like you, like you, experienced so much of it from such a young age that your perspective is just so much different than other people's. Because even talking to you like Tyler, I don't know that this is lost on you or not, but you do sound like a background player from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. But at the same time, you're really intelligent and thoughtful and and you know what I mean? And you have a ton of like perspective already about things that most people do not get to gain perspective about at this age, or if it ever, you know, oh, yeah, yeah, no, 100%

Tyler 1:06:51
I remember, there's this question one of my buddies asked we were in like group, you know, and he was, he was basically just like, you know, like, if you could never be an addict, would you, you know? And that the answer was almost collectively, no, you know, like, I would stay in that, you know, I would keep the experiences that I had, you know, simply because, I mean, it's just like, it makes it's what makes you you you know, it's like,

Scott Benner 1:07:21
yeah, it's a defining gathering of information that you, you gave it away, you'd feel like you were a neophyte, like an amateur at life. Oh, exactly, yeah. So there's something like, like, you I was gonna use, I was gonna use a phrase I don't think you know, but, um, but like, like, there's like, this hard scrabbled nature to your existence that you wouldn't want to give away hard stress. Oh yeah, it's hard scrabble. Like, is that a word anybody knows? Hold on.

Tyler 1:07:49
I don't even know it isn't.

Scott Benner 1:07:50
I don't even know I know how to define it. Hold on. A second. I know what it means. People are like now he's using phrases he can't define hard scrabble, uh, defined out as involving hard work and struggle. That's it. Yeah, I used it correctly. I just didn't know how to define it in, like, in a split second. Yes, you don't want to feel like you want to get high, but it would also be difficult to give away all this perspective that you've gained.

Tyler 1:08:17
Oh, 100% Yeah, I hear that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, I I know that. I don't think I got a lot of addiction, you know, yeah, I got a hell of a lot of recovery,

Scott Benner 1:08:29
though. Okay, it's how I feel about growing up broke actually. Like, it would be easy to rub a genie's lamp and say, like, take me back. Don't make me flat broke, but then I don't know who I am. Then if I wasn't, maybe I'm that kid off pretending I'm a championship Kayak or getting blackout drunk because my dad sent me $1,000 for an expensive steak he had, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. 100% Yeah. Nobody bought me a steak. Once, never. No one was ever like, Here, have a steak as I was growing up, no one ever said, here's $3 and because yeah, and because of that, I have, I have a different experience and different

Tyler 1:09:08
next box. Can you pay for it? Yeah?

Scott Benner 1:09:11
Oh my God, dude, you know how young you are, that you said Xbox trying to make me feel like pick something a little older. Atari, 2400 my friend,

Tyler 1:09:23
that's one and 64 Oh, boy.

Scott Benner 1:09:25
That was fancy. When I grew up, I just wanted an authority. That's all. I remember when the joystick and the Atari would break. Oh, red, yeah, Tyler, real, real story. My grandmother bought an Atari because my parents couldn't afford it. She kept it at her house so we could play it while she was there while we were at her house. The joysticks, if people can picture them, this little square thing you held in your hand had a red button on it. And this thick, you move back and forth, they would break, and they were $8 and when they broke, we couldn't play the Atari anymore. Oh, geez, because nobody had a. Dollars to buy a different joystick.

Tyler 1:10:01
Yeah, go mow some lawns, dude.

Scott Benner 1:10:05
Four weeks of mowing lawns to replace the joystick. $2 $2 to cut the grass. Do it again next week. Do it again. The following week. Do it again the following week. All right, I'll give you a ride to the store to get the joystick, not not Amazon, by the way, like I had to drive somewhere. Yeah, the whole world is completely different.

Tyler 1:10:22
Mail was for like, texts and stuff. What was that? Say it again, mail was for like, texts on paper. Mail

Scott Benner 1:10:31
is the mail was text on paper. That's where they call them letters, Tyler. Now, paper is the thing you just roll your weed in. So what do you I'm gonna ask you one final unfair question that there's no chance you have an answer to, and then I'm gonna let you go, yeah, if we've covered everything you want

Tyler 1:10:48
to cover, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna move

Scott Benner 1:10:51
you into the future. Your Tyler now. You're married, you got a kid, you own a house like your life went the way you expected it to your little tylerettes on its way off to school. Are you immediately thinking a kid's gonna end up meeting somebody and doing math?

Tyler 1:11:14
You know what? I don't think I would be,

Scott Benner 1:11:17
you know, tell me why. Because,

Tyler 1:11:19
you know. I mean, that's one thing I definitely learned, you know, gained some, like, personal wisdom on is just the fact that, like, say, Tyler Rhett goes out and finds a meth chick, you know, like, and he's doing meth, you know, what? What am I gonna do to stop him? Yeah, you know.

Scott Benner 1:11:39
So the idea is, what, what comes, comes, and then we deal with it afterwards, exactly. So you give them a good I've thought about that. Yeah, sorry, no, no, no, no, please. I'm sorry. You give them a good, a good start, and you just hope for the best. You're not gonna blindly just send them out in the world and say, good luck, but you're gonna do your best to prepare them and then see

Tyler 1:11:59
what happens. Yeah, and just by the way, like, I don't know, you know, like a child of my own, you know, that comes from my DNA, you know, simply because of the things that that DNA contains,

Scott Benner 1:12:11
between between diabetes and addiction,

Tyler 1:12:15
between diabetes and addiction and a love for adrenaline.

Scott Benner 1:12:20
Okay, oh, that that skiing thing wasn't by mistake.

Tyler 1:12:24
Oh, yeah, not at all. Not at all. Yeah, no. I've been begging my dad to go skydiving since I was 14. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:12:32
let's do it. Yeah. So you said something a second ago that made me want to ask a question on how to ask it, but is there something about those meth girls? Are they exciting? Yeah,

Tyler 1:12:45
I've definitely, I definitely had experiences with meth girls that I don't think I will ever have again. And I'll just leave it at that. You

Scott Benner 1:12:53
think that's gonna make Do you think it's gonna make regular life, boring or difficult? Regular life?

Tyler 1:12:59
No, no, I had a non meth girl. She was more of like a, you know, Xanax girl. You

Scott Benner 1:13:09
were gonna say, finally, I thought we were gonna get to a girl who rented the kids at the library. But no, she was just more into pills.

Tyler 1:13:17
Yeah, well, I mean, you know, she was, like, my girlfriend right before I went to rehab. And, I mean, there was definitely something missing, you know, like uppers. Uppers make life more exciting for everybody around you. Wow. Yeah, it's

Scott Benner 1:13:34
a very interesting conversation. I could have this conversation for 20 hours. So I'm going to ask you if we've talked about everything you want to talk about and stop, because I'm going to keep asking you crazy questions, and we got to get on with our lives. Yeah,

Tyler 1:13:45
not gonna lie, man, I have a job interview at 330 so I would love to hop off, and that's in 30 minutes here.

Scott Benner 1:13:51
No, let's go. What's your job interview? What do you what are you trying to do, dude,

Tyler 1:13:56
just until I go to college, you know, like not saying my dream job, this is gonna sound so sad. I'm not saying My dream job is Domino's delivery driver, but like it is kind of that's all I want to do. Good for you. So that's great. I want to go

Scott Benner 1:14:10
online thing. Or do you have to go down to the Domino's and meet them? I gotta go down here. Go, go, go. Thank you. I appreciate you doing this very much. Go ahead and go. Yeah, thanks, Scott. All right. Tara, this was really wonderful, man. Thank you. Yes, sir. All right. Bye.

Today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g7 which now integrates with the tandem T slim x2 system, learn more and get started today at dexcom.com/juice. Box. If you'd like to wear the same insulin pump that Arden does, all you have to do is go to omnipod.com/juice. Box. That's it. Head over now and get started today, and you'll be wearing the same. Same tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been wearing since she was four years old. I'd like to thank ag one for sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast and remind you that with your first order, you're going to get a free welcome kit, five free travel packs in a year's supply of vitamin D that's at AG one.com/juice box if you're living with type one diabetes, the after dark collection from the juicebox podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more. Go to juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark there, you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The juicebox podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwayrecording.com. You.