#704 Mature Onset of Young Love

June 21, 2022Scott Benner

Melanie has MODY diabetes and is here to share her story.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 704 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's program we're going to be speaking with Melanie who has Modi diabetes, and a host of other interesting things to talk about. Please remember while we're talking that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please consider going to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. Join the registry. Take the survey help people living with type one diabetes while you're supporting the Juicebox Podcast, T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. If you're looking for a place online to talk to other people who live with diabetes, you should check out the Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast. It's called Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. It's on Facebook. It's a private group with over 25,000 members. There's something there for everyone.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod five. You can learn more today at Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Get yourself a tubeless insulin pump. Get the army pod. The podcast is also sponsored today by us med white glove treatment for your diabetes supplies is just a phone call away. 888-721-1514. Call that number or go to us med.com forward slash juicebox to get a free benefits check. Wouldn't it be great to get your diabetes supplies without a hassle? I know it would be us med All right. That was not it was my fault, Molly, but I'm blaming my dogs.

Melanie 2:25
Hey, that works. They can defend themselves. It's the perfect scapegoat.

Scott Benner 2:29
Yeah. So there's like a few minutes before? Do you really care about this? You want me to tell you?

Melanie 2:34
I love talking. So I'll tell

Scott Benner 2:37
you what, then we're you're being recorded. Introduce yourself. You don't have to use your last name. If you don't want to, then I'll jump in and tell you.

Melanie 2:44
So my name is Melanie. I'm super excited to be here. What do you what do you want me to tell you?

Scott Benner 2:49
You're done melody that's good enough, we can start talking. Okay, perfect. So I was up very late last night. There's my mom's been having some health issues. And I'm sorry to hear that. You're very kind. Thank you. So I tried to sleep in a little this morning. And I still figured I could do everything I wanted to do take shower, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I look over and my wife is sick and she has been sick for a couple of weeks now. She has some crazy cough it's not COVID it's just really bad and it's beating her up really good. And I look over and I'm like oh god she's not even awake. I was expecting her to be downstairs I thought other poor dogs haven't been outside yet. now live in a short amount of time woken myself up taking a shower, gotten dressed. And I'm like by the way, there's you have something talking in the background. I don't know what that was, is it? Oh, it's my daughter. She's running around. That's fine. So I'm like well the poor dogs I'll let them out real quick. So I'm just gonna let them out let them pay do what they got to do and I'll feed them when I'm done talking to you or Kelly will come down and she'll feed whatever they go outside immediately break ranks and go in two different directions. One is meandering around won't even pay them. I'm literally like I'm like indie just pee pee now. I gotta go You gotta pick now I'm texting you hey molly, I'm gonna be late. I get the big one in the house I look over cannot find the little whenever anywhere I am looking all over my property and then I just kind of widened my search pattern in my eyes. And sure enough, Melanie he showed on my neighbor's driveway. Of course not in their yard where I can maybe pretend that their dog did it but in their driveway. So I now am in my neighbor's driveway picking up dog crap. And and in anyway in the rush to go outside to help them to go out. I didn't click one simple button which is why I couldn't hear you while you were doing everything.

Melanie 4:47
Gotcha. No, that sounds like my dogs. I have one of those dogs too. He like will not go when you need him to go. But you're way kinder than I am. I just throw in the backyard and I'm like Okay, stay out there for two hours. You Fake air.

Scott Benner 5:01
I have to be honest, it's gonna sound crazy. I don't want to rush them. Like I wouldn't want somebody running into the bathroom yelling Now Scott, go do it right now. I mean, it's in case case I'm having a moment. But But I really did have to get upstairs and I really very badly because my wife was sick didn't want her to come down and have to deal with every Yeah, for sure. Anyway,

Melanie 5:21
that's, that's funny. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad you got that all sorted out.

Scott Benner 5:26
The downside of it is you spent three minutes talking to yourself.

Melanie 5:31
No, it's all good. I I work from home. And so zoom calls are like my life. So I'm used to staring at a blank zoom screen. So you're

Scott Benner 5:40
Gotcha. Okay, so why are you on the podcast? Let me think if I can remember anything at all, Lada Modi, actually, damn it.

Melanie 5:51
So close, though. One of one of the unknowns? Yeah. Yeah. So I am a Modi type three diabetic.

Scott Benner 5:59
Okay, you are and how long have you known that about yourself?

Melanie 6:03
So my story is really funny. I was misdiagnosed as a type two. When I was 18. I had one of the worst doctors imaginable. I went into him with high blood sugar. My dad's a diabetic, my answer diabetic, my grandmother's a diabetic. And we just don't know beyond that. Went into him. I was like 18 years old. I think I weighed maybe, like 120 pounds. I'm five, seven. So just to give you a little bit of context, like, that's really thin for me. And he told me start Metformin don't gain weight. That was literally his advice, which obviously, you know, is the worst thing you can possibly do. Wow. So it was a very slow progression, since at least for me, my Modio is kind of a slow onset. And so I didn't actually realize that I had what I had until I was pregnant with my first daughter last year. And I'm 20 I just turned 29. So this was like a decade of literally just trying to figure out what's going on. Like,

Scott Benner 7:10
when you say you're trying to figure out what's going on what is happening. But take all the diagnosis. I'm making quotes out of it for a second, like what was your day to day like?

Melanie 7:20
So honestly, like, to give you a little backstory, like my dad is a diabetic. And if I had to put money on it, he's probably Modi as well, but has never been diagnosed. And so I first learned

Scott Benner 7:34
about hey, Melanie, could you put that kid in a closet or something? Please? We're talking here. Yeah. Thanks very much. Just I'm

Melanie 7:42
yeah, let me ask my husband. Normally she,

Scott Benner 7:45
I'm teasing you. That's lovely.

Melanie 7:48
Oh, okay. I'm like, Well, I will try.

Scott Benner 7:51
I thought saying put her in a closet was fanciful enough that you

Melanie 7:57
know, you're I was really just looking over like, do you need me to put her upstairs with my husband, though?

Scott Benner 8:03
were you considering putting her in her closet? Let's talk about that first. Well, I

Melanie 8:06
mean, you weren't necessary? No, not at all.

Scott Benner 8:10
Not at all. If you can, if you can relocate her, that'd be lovely. Yeah, for

Melanie 8:15
sure. Um, once again, let me mute this for just two seconds, so I can yell up the stairs

Scott Benner 8:23
I don't know if I'm gonna pause this or not so bored. Okay,

Melanie 8:27
sorry. Very quick. Yeah, so she's like obsessed with her show Coco mela so I thought that she would just sit there and veg but of course, this is the one day that she's like, No, I need your I need your attention right

Scott Benner 8:38
now. Hey, once again, choke Coco melon. Yeah.

Melanie 8:41
Yeah, Coco mom. It's like this little kids show. It's really it's really the worst thing on the planet. But she likes it. So right up there. So we just go with it. Okay, thank you. Appreciate you. Okay, Kid officially in the closet.

Scott Benner 8:56
Okay. Wow, hold on a second. Cocoa melon are just on YouTube is nursery rhymes. Yeah, it's kind of like not bad, but not good. Animation. And these videos have massive downloads.

Melanie 9:13
Yeah, it's ridiculous. I'm I'm pretty sure that they're like subliminally messaging these kids. Like did you ever see zoo lander? Yeah. Where like, they like have like the subliminal stuff going in the background. I'm pretty sure it's something like that.

Scott Benner 9:26
No lie. These videos have anywhere between eight and 25 million views apiece and they're like 40 minutes long.

Melanie 9:36
Yeah, each episode has like eight to 10 little nursery songs and they're just dreadful. Well, they're absolutely dreadful. Here's

Scott Benner 9:42
one with 50 million views. A year.

Melanie 9:48
I probably contributed about 1000 So

Scott Benner 9:51
I also do it in Spanish Portuguese. What looks like Japanese to me. Yeah. Oh, somebody's a genius.

Melanie 10:01
I know right? Like you look at it, you're like I could have done that. I could have I could have figured that out.

Scott Benner 10:07
It's I am so mad at myself right now.

Melanie 10:10
I know you pick the wrong field,

Scott Benner 10:12
why am I working so hard?

Melanie 10:15
Exactly. Well, the ones that get me are like, have you seen the ones where people will just open toys? Like it's literally just a camera, like pointed at their hands, and they'll just like open toys.

Scott Benner 10:23
I saw one kid do that once I learned how much money he makes for doing it. And it just I never, I never thought about it again. It made me so upset. Hey,

Melanie 10:33
like makes you sick to your stomach, right? Like this. Alright, so

Scott Benner 10:37
now that we've dispensed with your kid, so you were saying that you think your father had? Yes has Modi two?

Melanie 10:44
Yeah. So my first encounter with the whole concept of diabetes was, I think I was about eight or 10. I was pretty young. And my dad had come home from a worksite. He's an alarm technician. So he goes out to like work sites. And he had stepped on a screw. And he didn't feel it. He had complete, like, neuropathy in his feet. And he kind of just ignored it. I think it was more so my parents didn't have insurance. There's six of us. So it was kind of like this, I'm just going to ignore it because we don't have money for it type of thing. And so he comes home. And that's literally one of the first things I remember from my childhood is he like, takes his shoe off, and it's soaked with blood. And so he ended up in the hospital. And he they almost had to amputate his foot because he had blood poisoning. But luckily he didn't. But that was like my first encounter with diabetes. And from that point on, I was just terrified, like, just scared to death that I was going to be diabetic. And that was going to happen to me, but like, nobody talked to me like, my parents are very much so like, we're just not going to talk about things. We're going to kind of just handle them and then sweep them under the rug.

Scott Benner 11:52
Oh, Catholic. Catholic gotta get right.

Melanie 11:56
Not quite close. Yeah, it was my parents. My dad just doesn't talk. Like he's not a talker. And then my mom just doesn't like dealing with things. So

Scott Benner 12:07
tell me, um, on the day your dad's foot got screwed. How old were you about?

Melanie 12:13
I want to say probably about eight or 10.

Scott Benner 12:16
So you wrote around that edge. Worried about it through your those formative years. And then when you were 18, somebody said, Hey, you have diabetes?

Melanie 12:24
Yeah. So it was an absolutely just like, terrifying thing. Because it actually was ice. Okay, so the way that I even learned to like, get myself checked, because I didn't have insurance until I was 18. And like, living on my own, I started working.

Scott Benner 12:41
And so we wait, wait, stop. You didn't have insurance as a child?

Melanie 12:44
No, my parent, no, nobody had insurance in our family. Okay, so it was just, and I mean, like, my parents had six kids. My dad didn't have like a great job. Like, I'm just I'm just amazed at the things they pulled off. Yeah, we didn't. How old?

Scott Benner 13:00
Were you the first time to get your teeth cleaned?

Melanie 13:03
Oh, I was like eight. But because they had like a family dentist that would like give them really good deals and stuff. So I definitely saw the dentist. Surprisingly, enough of all the things you think my parents cared about our teeth,

Scott Benner 13:17
but I just I just don't know, like people who didn't grow up broke. Like, I don't know if they would like think about stuff like that. Like, I didn't go to the dentist until I was an adult and I I had health insurance.

Melanie 13:30
Yeah, it's I literally my mom told us when we were kids, she was like, don't break an arm. We're not going to the doctor. Like that was that that was our like preventative measure. It wasn't like, let me teach you to climb this tree. It was if you break an arm, it's just it is what it is.

Scott Benner 13:46
Not only do you put down because you fall into that tree. And that's what's gonna happen.

Melanie 13:52
Exactly. That was like literally, the things my mom says like, she even told us one time for our dog. And looking back on all this probably explains why I'm as screwed up as I am. But she was like, if that dog gets sick, I'm not going to take it to the vet to put it down. I'm going to take it in the backyard and hit its head with a brick.

Scott Benner 14:10
Hey, Merry Christmas.

Melanie 14:12
Exactly. Yeah. So but that was just really my upbringing with I guess the medical world as a whole, it was just very much so like, we don't touch it. That's not what we do. Um, it was even like, at the point where one time my mom there was a grease fire in our house and she got like third degree burns on her arms and her face and she wasn't going to go to the hospital. Like it was just like, we had to beg her to go in the ambulance. And it was it was just but that was like the demeanor around health and hospitals and doctors. It was just we don't have money. We don't touch it. Yeah. And so that was definitely a big thing for me growing up because I just thought you don't. You don't go to the doctor, right? You You figure it out was really what it was. So then When I was about 18, I started feeling like tingling in my toes. And that was just scared the crap out of me because obviously, I saw what happened with my dad. And so I decided to take his little blood meter. And I check it. And it's at like, 347. Like, really high. Yeah. And that just freaked me out. And so finally, when I was 18, I decided to it was after that point, I decided to go to the doctor at that point, I had insurance. I didn't even know what to do with it. Like, I was like, oh, insurance. So it's that.

Scott Benner 15:35
Just holding up this car to the room going, can someone help me? Can someone help me?

Melanie 15:40
That was literally how it was like, I had no idea how to use my insurance. Nobody had taught me. And so I just go into like the United Healthcare. thing. I don't know if I can say insurance names or not. But I go into their little portal. And I like just search for like a doctor. Like anybody. I'm like, I don't know, just somebody. Of course, I pick the worst doctor on the face of the planet by chance, and so I go to him. And like I said, he was just horrible, like 18 years old, super thin, diabetic family history. He doesn't even do like he doesn't a one C. And then he gives me that Foreman says don't gain weight. That's it. Like that was the diagnosis

Scott Benner 16:21
about 11 years ago. 18 years old Byers. Yeah. Yeah, by myself in a doctor's room. Hey, you didn't? You were probably thrilled when he didn't threaten to hit you in the head with a break.

Melanie 16:32
Exactly. Yeah. So now just the whole experience. And so like, really, my whole diabetic journey was very, I guess, very lonely in a lot of ways, because I didn't know anything. And so I had to learn what questions to ask and what to do and how to advocate for myself. So it's been a very, very interesting journey.

Scott Benner 16:53
How many What was your agency when you were 18?

Melanie 16:57
It was a five points. No, not that's wrong. 6.4 I want to say, so it wasn't crazy. But it was definitely. Yeah, it was definitely in that that pre diabetic range. Okay. So that's why it's been a very slow, like onset for me. Yeah. So I started taking Metformin. And I just I don't, I don't I didn't like the way I felt I was raised very, we don't go to doctors natural remedies. And so I just felt really weird about it. And then I took it. And then shortly after that, I actually got engaged my husband, and we got married really young. So

Scott Benner 17:38
if I was you? Were like, I'm not doing this by myself. I gotta get out of

Melanie 17:43
here. Yeah, get out of my crappy little apartment. Yeah. So anyways, I got engaged. And once again, it was a very, we were in a very, like, toxic religious environment. That was about, we just pray for healing, you know, and it was is very, very toxic and unhealthy. And so we decide that I'm going to stop taking my metformin and we're just going to trust God, and just pray it away. Which is, I Oh, I could go on and on and on.

Scott Benner 18:18
I want you to slow down a couple little things. You're, you're a little excited, which is fine, but I think you're either banging on the microphone wire or touching or touching the table a lot. Don't do that. That's okay. And give a drink.

Melanie 18:32
I can get the one

Scott Benner 18:33
yourself a water, take a drink, relax for a second, okay, because we're gonna dig into a lot of stuff and I don't want to dry you out and get you over excited.

Melanie 18:42
Let me let me grab some water

Scott Benner 18:52
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Melanie 22:48
Okay, we're back.

Scott Benner 22:49
I'm super excited to talk to you about all this. Do you mind digging into some of it?

Melanie 22:53
No, not at all. It's, it's this has been my life. So I'm, I'm excited somebody wants to listen to me rant.

Scott Benner 23:01
But for $40 The therapist will listen to but that's not the point. I'll do it for free. It sounds good. The husband that we just pawned the kid off on same guy you married when you were younger? Same guy. Yes. You and he together decided to let Jesus take the wheel. In a way I was

Melanie 23:19
very much so. Um, I want to say submissive, like, it was just a very unhealthy culture. I don't know if you have any background in like, the religious world at all. But it was just a very unhealthy culture of the man is the head of the household. And, and so so he felt the need as a young man to fill that role. Right? Even though now like our relationship is completely different. Completely, like we totally had the opportunity to grow up together and realize how much just bull crap was going so much so much was going on. So

Scott Benner 24:02
you and he grew up in similar ways. And yes, and so you both kind of escaped together. And then you fall back into what you saw when you were growing up, which was the man says something the lady does it kind of thing. And exactly. For people who don't understand because they haven't ever mirrored that. The guy can feel like well, that's my job. I'm supposed to tell everybody what to do. Like it doesn't it's not as it's not as domineering from their perspective as it feels probably from your perspective. It's more like it's like, this is my responsibility. I'm supposed to be doing this end. They have no idea what they're doing. So they just knee jerk reaction everything and then run 100 miles an hour with it. Is that about right?

Melanie 24:46
Exactly. That about sums it up. So from his perspective, it wasn't an all a I'm I have to dominate here. It was just a well this is what I'm supposed to do. Got it. So So it was yeah, it's our relationship is totally different now.

Scott Benner 25:04
Well, that's amazing that you made it through that if you saw a therapist, they would congratulate you on working things out and not ruining your relationship.

Melanie 25:10
Exactly. Like we talk, we talk a lot, we're at a point where we will literally tell each other everything. And I've told them before, it is a miracle. We're still married. I don't know how we're still married. And why do you think that? I think it's because we both went into the marriage saying, we're going to work out whatever happens. And we were just really committed to being honest with each other. And I'm definitely I've learned as I've gotten older, I'm a very dominant personality, and I'm very much so a leader. I don't like leaving conflict in a box. That's not it makes me super uncomfortable. So anytime there would be some kind of conflict, I would drag it out. Until, until we dealt with it. And I really think that that was probably a big part of it is it just we forced the issue of figuring it out. And he honestly had a huge transformation when he was in college, because it just opened his mind to viewpoints that he hadn't even been introduced to. And so as he grew, and he changed a lot of who he was, he like, realized, wow, I'm kind of an act. To put it, sorry, I don't know if I can say that on here. But it's, he just realized that he needed to change. And then through that, we just, I don't know, we just talked and figured it out. And we were willing to work through it

Scott Benner 26:48
pretty cool. The hardest part is what seeing the things you don't see about yourself, and then somebody points it out to you. And you have to kind of swallow hard and look at yourself from a different perspective, you think that's the more difficult issues,

Melanie 27:02
it's definitely hard, because in order to admit, you need to be better, you have to admit that you've been wrong. And that's one of the hardest things to do. For a lot of people, especially when you are raised in that culture of I have to be the leader. I can't be wrong, I have to man up, so to speak. So I give him a lot of props for the transformation he made. Because it went from him feeling like he needed to take charge, even from a medical perspective to you tell me what you need. And I'll be there. And it's it's been a huge, huge difference for us.

Scott Benner 27:42
How did he overcome that? Do you think like, how did he give away the idea that you weren't going to be lost without his direction?

Melanie 27:51
It it was really going to school was huge, because that changed so much for him. He changed a lot of his, his politics, his beliefs, just everything. And then one of the biggest things for us though, is we actually went through a program together, it's actually one that we're doing through the company I work with. So it's a personal development program. And basically, it was all centered around asking deeper questions and digging into what is true here, not just what do you believe, but what is actually true. It forced some very deep and uncomfortable conversations between us that made us just actually own up to who we were and who we wanted to be. And that like we literally like describe her life The program is called the Creator purge. We describe our life as pre creator purge and post creator purge because it was such a big impact on us, like just digging into our own selves and realizing how much insecurity and fear there was for both of us. And it that just it just absolutely changed our marriage 100% And with that, everything diabetic for me because people think that like a diabetic diagnosis just lives on its own, but it doesn't like it affects everything in your life.

Scott Benner 29:19
know for sure. Okay, so that's kind of crazy. Day to day medically for those 11 years, you're taking Metformin, is it messing with your stomach, or did your body get used to it?

Melanie 29:31
So after taking this back when we decided we're just gonna let Jesus take the wheel, right, I've stopped all medication. I wasn't testing. It was literally like, worst thing I could do. I stopped testing. I just decided I'm just gonna have faith. And when I was 21, we had been married for about a year. We go to apply for life insurance, and they do all the bloodwork and I'm denied for life insurance at 21 because of high blood sugar First, I want to say my agency at that point was probably about a 7.7. Ish. Okay, so definitely like kind of creeping up. And so, same thing, I don't really even know anything in this world of diabetes. I'm super like disheartened, because this is still the point where our marriage is really on the rocks. I go to see a holistic medical doctor, she's actually a, what do they call it, an acupuncture doctor thought it all the

Scott Benner 30:32
way needed to be seeing maybe if they poked enough holes, me the sugar would come

Melanie 30:35
out, maybe. And so I actually started a very strict vegan diet. And so my approach because I did some Google searches, and I learned I was just looking type two diabetes, I didn't even consider type one or Modi or anything else, just because I had always heard. If you don't have type one as a baby, you're not type one, or type two. So my approach was okay, well, let me see how I can fix myself. And so that led me down the path of diet. And so I started a very strict vegan diet, which helped, because my body was still making a little bit of insulin. So the fact that I was eating so clean and so disciplined, it dropped my blood sugar enough to kind of get approved for life insurance.

Scott Benner 31:26
Where did your excellency go to?

Melanie 31:28
It went down to I think, a 6.3 or a 6.4.

Scott Benner 31:32
Did you know that that still wasn't optimal?

Melanie 31:35
I didn't, I never imagined, okay. Like, I didn't even know what a good a one C was, like. My dream was a 5.7. I thought I could never reach a 5.7 ever.

Scott Benner 31:47
Dream was life insurance? Why were you trying so hard to get life insurance when you were 21?

Melanie 31:51
It was just what we thought we were supposed to do. Like as young adults, we were like, Okay, well, we're supposed to set up retirement plans. We're supposed to get life insurance, like we were just completely winging this whole adult thing. Yeah. It was just because my husband didn't know either. His parents are very similar in the sense that they don't really talk about things they kind of just let them be. And so

Scott Benner 32:19
give me a side question. Now that you're a person who talks to their husband, why do you think other people don't talk to each other?

Melanie 32:28
I think because it can be really difficult to just embrace what is true. And to recognize that we all go through things, and we have to be okay with accepting someone else's for us. And so it can be really painful, like, some of the issues that we have had to dig through. And actually resolve were really painful in the moment. And it's really easy to choose momentary okayness in order to, like, but it to put off actual healing in the relationship. And so it's just, there were definitely times where it was hard. Yeah, where I like, I didn't want to, like, there were literally times where I wanted to just go drive somewhere else and be like, I'm staying with, so and so I'm not doing this, but I like forced myself to stay. And it's just it's really difficult. Because working through those things are, are painful. Yeah. Because you have to dig up things about yourself. You have to figure out why you are the way you are. And that's really hard.

Scott Benner 33:50
I find that even after you know, it's still hard. Yeah, that's why I'm impressed when people do it. Because I know for me, that when people I care about aren't happy, or aren't healthy, then my focus turns completely to fixing something for them. Yeah. And I, you would have a hard time talking me out of it. Believing talking me out of believing that my energy isn't best serve, trying to help them. And so even if you stepped in front of me and said it's got a don't help me, I would think I not even think it's hard to it's a it's an impulse, right? Well, no, they just don't know how bad this is for them. I see how bad it is for them. I can save them. That kind of feeling. Exactly. It's a terrible feeling to live with. Because you don't know what's happening. Like, it's not like you don't step out of the situation and never think well, they're right. They don't need my help or they don't want my help, you know, which is a weird thing to try to accept too, especially when You care about somebody and they don't want your help. And then you realize that, like, you know, there is a world where you could be right this person could be going down a bad path or going to end up having a bad outcome. And there's just nothing that they're going to let you do about it. And the more you try the further like of a chasm, you push between each other. Yeah, I think it's important. The reason I'm talking about it so much right now with you is a you brought it up and be because, you know, there are a lot of people who listen who take care of people with type one who are at some point or another may run into this exact problem. And you have to decide, like, What path are you going to head down? Are you going to ruin your relationship to save someone's blood sugar? Because eventually, eventually, you'll you'll wedge yourself so far apart, you won't have any input into their health anyway? Or do you step back and try to let them do their thing. And hopefully, you can be there, if it falls apart, or hopefully they can figure it out on their own,

Melanie 36:01
for sure. And it's, it's really become a fine, a fine balance for us. We're at the point now, because I have I have, I'm fully insulin dependent. Now, I'm just going to give you a little flash forward, I'm on the Omni pod in the Dexcom thanks to Juicebox Podcast, amazing, amazing combo, I am telling you. But he literally checks my blood sugar at night, because I usually go to sleep before I do. So he has the app on his phone, and he'll come and he'll punch in my blood sugar into the Omni pod and give whatever correction is necessary. And so we've we've come to the point where literally, he helps take care of me. And that is definitely a level of trust that we've had to get to. And I would say for anybody that maybe is dealing with that, that they have a loved one that they're trying to figure out how to help. I would say the best thing that you can do is listen and ask questions, and just go on the learning journey with them. Yeah, because there's so many nuances to being a diabetic, like, you are literally I don't have to tell you, you're literally controlling an Oregon from the outside. And there are some days where it's just it's just tough. Yeah. There's there's no ways around it. Yeah, it's just tough. It just sucks.

Scott Benner 37:29
Okay, so cheese. This has got like, so what's Modi? I still don't know what, oh, by the way, no matter how many people I talked to about Modi, I don't really know what Modi is. Did doesn't matter how many times I Google it. I don't know what Modi is, but maybe you're gonna be the one that's gonna set me straight today.

Melanie 37:47
Maybe I'll be the one I get. I get super passionate about this. I talked to everybody. And that's actually really helped me with this journey is rather than allowing myself to become a victim, I use it as a chance to educate the people around me. And I just I tell them about it. I'm like, oh, yeah, this is what I have. And, and this is what it does. And this is why and this is why and rather than giving them a chance to feel bad for me, it allows me to educate and then as I educate I learn more. So anyway, I just I think it's important to teach the things you wear to the people around you as well.

Scott Benner 38:24
Absolutely. Okay, ready? Hold on. Okay. Wait, I'm on. I'm just clicking now. I'm just on the web. I'm on the internet right now. Looking at Modi. What is maturity onset diabetes of the Young is that first of all your understanding of what Modi stands for? Yes. Okay. Yes, it is. Because immediately it then says Modi is a monogenic form of diabetes. And then my brain goes, Wait, did they mean and was monogenic? That's only because I'm not that smart. That usually first occurs during adolescence or early adulthood Modi accounts for up to 2% of all cases of diabetes in the US in people ages 20 or younger. Okay. Yes, so it makes sense. Okay.

Melanie 39:04
Yes. So to kind of break down at least to my understanding, obviously, I am not a doctor. But I have done lots and lots of Google searches. And I was actually blessed enough to land with a an endocrinologist that is really knowledgeable of Modi, which, which has been incredible for me like it was a total godsend. This woman, I have the best endocrinologist in the world, but least in my opinion. So just to kind of break down what Modi is, from my understanding. So mature onset diabetes of the young, it basically means it's diabetes that pops up in your adolescence is essentially what it means. And the thing that sets Modi apart from let's say, type one, is it is truly a genetic disorder. It is not an autoimmune disorder. So, with type one, there's the autoimmune component where obviously, the beta cells of your pancreas, it attacks itself and your your, your body stops being able to read what's happening, which is why your pancreas eventually shuts down and all that jazz, you know all that with Modi, it does not have that autoimmune disorder. So when I was first tested for type one, all of the tests came back negative. It was it was actually in my pregnancy with my daughter, the one the one we shipped off. I went in so little story storytime, I got pregnant with her. I went in to see my OB, and my primary care doctor is is amazing. He basically told me because you're dealing with diabetes, and he didn't really know either, but I don't expect family care doctors to be incredibly knowledgeable about diabetes, it's not their field. But he was smart enough, at least to say, we need you to go see an OB right away, and they're going to get you into a specialist because they're going to help you. So I go immediately I see my OB. And he sends me immediately over to the perinatal, which is like high risk pregnancy. And they hooked me up with a diabetic educator. She tells me, you can continue Metformin, or we can try insulin. It's your choice. Like I can't tell you what to do. But these are kind of your options. And so Metformin, I wasn't taking it at the time. At this time, I actually had switched to a strict ketogenic diet, which helped my blood sugars immensely, but only because I wasn't eating carbs. That was it. Like, there wasn't any other any other science so

Scott Benner 41:45
that I thought you were gonna tell me you switch to Buddha.

Melanie 41:50
Close enough. No, so at that point, I was doing strictly ketogenic, but when I got pregnant, I just couldn't maintain it. Obviously, your body needs carbohydrates, especially in pregnancy. And so I decide, well, I'll I'll give insulin a shot. See what happened.

Scott Benner 42:07
No pun intended. Go ahead.

Melanie 42:09
Exactly. Thank you. I didn't even think of that. So I start taking insulin. And magically, my sugars just fix. There's like, and I'm talking small, small doses. I'm having lows, like, crazy lows for like two or three minutes, like, and it just, I'm floored. I'm like, What is this what is happening here? Because I thought my whole life I was insulin resistant. And then I literally throw a little bit of insulin into my body. And it just like takes it like, throwing water on dry ground.

Scott Benner 42:48
Yeah, I see how you could be confused by that. Okay, that's

Melanie 42:51
exactly, yeah. And so I started talking to my diabetic educator, and she's, she's like, well, this is confusing, because you're definitely not a type two. And she was the one that first sent me for my type one antibody screening. And she's like, your tests are negative. So you're not a type one. You're definitely not a type two. I don't know what to tell you. And so basically, they told me regardless, well, I started doing digging at that point. I was like, Is there something in the middle? Is there something going on? And so good old Google, I started researching. And sure enough, I discover, but I found at the time was Modi. And it just made all the sense in the world. Wow. Because a lot of surefire signs like red flags for Modi is when diabetes doesn't skip generations. Because with like a type one, it is an autoimmune disorder. And so it's not it's not necessarily genetic. There might be genetic leanings. But it could absolutely skip generations. Like you could be a type one diabetic and not have type one diabetic children. That's just

Scott Benner 44:02
but this moody thing, just it every every line gets it like do you think your daughter will have it?

Melanie 44:09
So it is a 50% chance? Oh, wow. So if one of your parents has it, at least with my specific type, the way my endocrinologist explained it is she said it's Modi three with a dominant gene. So if I pass that gene on to my daughter 5050 chance she will have Modi and I'm actually I'm actually expecting my second daughter right now. So same thing with her if I pass that gene, she will be diabetic.

Scott Benner 44:36
I didn't know you're pregnant. Congratulations.

Melanie 44:38
Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm there inducing in about five weeks we were right there.

Scott Benner 44:45
Amazing. Look at you you're you're doing anything you know I've through this entire conversation. I'm I'm really interested and at the same time I can't wait till this is over so I can watch Coco melon and see what it is. I would play it right now but I don't think we Usually I can let the audio run.

Melanie 45:02
Probably not. But imagine Nursery Rhymes where they like put their own twist on it, but it kind of makes you mad because then they ruin the nursery rhyme.

Scott Benner 45:13
makes you angry. makes me angry. cartoon. It makes you angry.

Melanie 45:18
Yeah, no, but at the same time I love it because whenever I need to make dinner I just like turn it on that I think that was literally one of her first words was Coco. She was Coco.

Scott Benner 45:26
Coco. So it's a bit disappointing. I know so really want to be disappointed. Arden told me the other day, hey, she goes on just three days until the next season. A big mouth comes out on Netflix. I was like, oh, yeah, my daughter and I have that in common. We watch Big mouth.

Melanie 45:45
Hey, you know what, whatever. Whatever works. I

Scott Benner 45:47
have to ask you a question before we move on you. earlier. You like wanted to tell a story you said storytime. Was that a Bert kreischer reference. I don't use Bert kreischer. If you don't know those words, then it's not I was just checking. That's all. He's a commute.

Melanie 46:01
I know that. Oh, okay. I know there was the guy on was it fine. You go storytime. So.

Scott Benner 46:08
I didn't know that one. But anyway, like, I just I was wondering where that if it was just something you were saying? Or if you were referencing something,

Melanie 46:14
I think I was just saying.

Scott Benner 46:17
Okay, so let's, let's like, try to like, bring this all little tie it up. And then we're gonna build on it again. You grew up in a home where nobody talked about health. And people didn't take care of their health, you didn't have health insurance. When you became a team, you found out you had diabetes, they told you it was type two, you believed your father lived all that time with type two diabetes as well. You got married early, I did want to ask was your husband in college while you were married? Were you guys married in college,

Melanie 46:50
he had just started college. So we got married, he had been in college. He was in his first semester, when we got married.

Scott Benner 46:58
Were you in college.

Melanie 47:01
So I was taking classes at the time, we actually took a couple classes together, we like worked it out to try to be in the same class. And I was actually going to study music, music education. And I learned very quickly, that was not for me, because I hate teaching in a school setting. And so I just decided I I didn't even know what to do. So I decided to drop out and just let him go. Because financially, it was just going to be a very big burden on both of us. So he went to school, I ended up dropping out and just kept working.

Scott Benner 47:35
Is there any chance that you did that? Because you felt that it was his job more than yours? Or just because you did not enjoy this setting?

Melanie 47:44
I think it was probably a little of both. The more I dig back into what I've been through, I find that that mindset really permeated so much of what I did just everything. So it definitely wouldn't surprise me if there is that there was reasoning there. I haven't actually thought about it. So that's a great question.

Scott Benner 48:01
I know, you're very pregnant right now, I don't want to make you think about things that you haven't thought of. I'm not crying with you on this podcast this morning. I know, right? I'm just not. I'm with you. Okay, so, alright, so that happens. treat you like a type two for a while doesn't work. A lot of metformin get pregnant. And then boom, we're we're not type one. We're not type two, you start Googling Modi. And then how long has it been since you've known that?

Melanie 48:34
So once I had my daughter, because basically the perinatal goals, they told me, even if you get a different diagnosis at this point, we can't we're just going to keep treating the way we're treating pregnancy is just weird. Like, hormones are everywhere. So we can't, we're just going to keep treating with insulin because it's working. Once you have your daughter, we're going to hook you up as an endocrinologist. So once I had my daughter, that's when I went to see my endocrinologist. I told her some of my, my theories. And she sent me for actual Modi lab work, which was a genetic screening pool. And they found Sure enough, the Modi Jing and it was an actual Modi takes rediagnosis you're like Dr.

Scott Benner 49:18
House. Does that reference fall on you? Or you've

Melanie 49:22
never watched Dr. House? No, but I know what you're talking about.

Scott Benner 49:26
The show was just called house by the way. Well, that's goes to show you really did you like you took a bunch of like you took you took some information. You took some happenstance, you took some you know, historical knowledge, you went to the internet, you pieced it all together and you diagnosed yourself. Yeah, pretty much pretty with like one credit and music appreciation. Exactly. There you go. A rough shot upbringing. You're a genius, Melanie. I appreciate it all. Take it. She'd be like, Are you like every incredibly proud of yourself?

Melanie 50:04
Give her like I am. Actually,

Scott Benner 50:06
I would be too. And I am. Yeah, I'd run around telling people I'd be like, I know what's wrong with you just come here. I'll figure it out. Figure this out. You mean Google? We got this. Do you? Have you become the person? Like, are you like the? Are you like the medical person in the house? Now when something happens?

Melanie 50:25
I am. I absolutely am. It's what's funny is, and I will, I'll actually give a lot of credit to the Juicebox Podcast because there isn't a whole lot of Modi stuff out there. Because it is it's it's just such a strange type of diabetes. I just treat myself like a type one. Okay, so if I ever like need to tell somebody what's going on, and I don't want to, like sit there and explain it. I just tell them I'm a type one. I'm just like, I've got

Scott Benner 50:50
I don't want to deal with I don't know how you I don't in a world where people don't know the difference between type two and type one, actually, in a world where people would get burnt with grease and think they're not going to the hospital. I don't know how you explain Bodie. diabetes to people.

Melanie 51:03
Exactly, exactly. And so. So that's kind of how I treat. But I really have like, I just took it and ran with it. And I decided I am going to, I am going to figure this out. I now that I know what's wrong. I'm going to fix it. I'm going to figure out and sure enough, like I was able to during my first pregnancy, I started with a onesie of 6.3. And in pregnancy was insulin management. It dropped into a 5.4. In pregnancy. Wow. Which was insane. And then after that, I started this next pregnancy with an agency of 5.1. And yeah, I was. It's been amazing. And now like I peaked at 5.4. And now I'm back to 5.3. Melanie,

Scott Benner 51:54
are you back on? Are you on the show to tell me that there's finally going to be a baby named after me? What's going on right now? Well, she's a

Melanie 52:00
girl. So Scott tat

Scott Benner 52:04
it's not gonna work? Yeah, it doesn't have I don't want to I don't want to hang that on the kid. Don't worry about it. Let it go. Well, that's really I appreciate you saying that. I also, while you were saying it thought, you're the exact kind of person who would like this podcast because you completely believe that you need to kind of take your own health in your hands and am shepherded along its way and that you can't wait for somebody else to fix it for you.

Melanie 52:29
Yeah, you have to. And I've also been blessed with a great care team. I don't know if that's just because they're great, or because I do my research. But all of my doctors they are so hands off. Like, even my endocrinologist. She's like, Well, call me if you need anything

Scott Benner 52:51
else you imagine in a private room, they're like, they get together like at lunch, and they're like, hey, Melanie's like figuring all this out. We don't even have to do anything. This is perfect. Don't even talk when she comes in, let her talk first. She probably already knows what's going on, we can just nod along and look like geniuses.

Melanie 53:07
I know. Right? So it's, and that's how it is with my diabetic educator, too. She tells me she's like, You're doing a great job, you're teaching me things. She's like, you know more about your pumps that I know about it. So. So it's I feel like that's what's really important too, is you have to own your education. At the same time understanding that you can also like Teach Your doctors. Yeah, but but with the humility of understanding that they're there to help you. Because I think when I originally went into the medical setting, because I'd never went into it. And as a kid, I almost had this like, suspicion, like, all doctors are here to do is to get me to take drugs and take my money. Take my money. Exactly. And then I've realized that I do have a really great care team. But they're not with you every single day. Like they can't be and so you have to take that ownership.

Scott Benner 54:07
Yeah, no, I agree. Let me ask you a question. You're an employed person now and you have health insurance, obviously, yes. Looking back, and now that you have a child and one on the way, talk about what it's like to live without health insurance from the perspective of somebody who now knows what it's like to have it. I mean, what is it? Uh, I mean, I look at it as a scourge. You know, on us. It's a it's a plague on our house kind of a thing. Everybody should be covered with reasonable health insurance. A person at 18 years old, shouldn't walk into a doctor's office and be like, Wow, this is a doctor's office crazy. Exactly. You know, I shouldn't be 20 years old going like, I guess I should get my teeth cleaned. You know, like, like that kind of stuff like that shouldn't be happening to people. It's very basic care stuff. It's not you know, it's it's the great It's just it's just the great leap to say that people shouldn't have to live like your mom shouldn't have to burn herself and think I can't get in that ambulance. I can't even afford the ride, let alone what's going to happen when I got there.

Melanie 55:12
Yeah, you know, it's, oh, this is a whole rabbit hole, we could go down. We're about to go ahead. No, I get very frustrated especially. Well, let me put it this way. I feel like I have people, I have people in my family that are very staunch like Republican, why should I have to pay for health care for someone that's not going to be healthy. And I've had to take that opportunity to educate them. And tell them like there are some things people cannot control. And so I've learned that a lot of the people that are so so called against, like a universal health care type system. Most of them are just very, very ignorant. Some people are just awful people. But a lot of people are very ignorant. And I'm, I'm very blessed to have health insurance, because that's not something that everyone has. And I'll even go into the Facebook group and see people that are struggling with stuff. And I just, it breaks my heart. Like, and I wish I had the magic solution. I wish I do did because it is absolutely terrifying. To have to choose between your health and whether or not you're going to buy groceries. Like it's it's wrong. Yeah, in my viewpoint is it's very, very wrong. And let me say,

Scott Benner 56:41
I don't know, I don't know that it breaks so easily down. party lines. I bet you that that that that sentiment of I worked hard. Let them work hard to I think you'd find Democrats and independents and Republicans all willing to feel that if not say it out loud. I think it's a I think it's kind of a human idea. Like people like to feel like they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, or things weren't given to them, you know, that kind of thing. And you want to feel like what you did was special. Like sometimes I don't know if it's so much about how a person would feel about another person as it is about wanting to feel like you've accomplished something like look like because if, if there are no poor people, then I don't get to feel good about what I've accomplished. If we're all on the same level, then why am I working so hard? There's some real psychological, like, bends in there that I'm sure not everybody feels that way. But there are enough there are people who do like somebody's got to lose so I can win. And if that makes sense or not?

Melanie 57:44
Oh, no, it absolutely does. Yeah. And I mean, it's definitely one of those weird mechanics of life where, technically that's true. But it doesn't mean that we should strive for that it you know,

Scott Benner 57:56
you could adjust what winning means to you. And then that's exactly like maybe winning means that a stranger you've never met before gets their teeth cleaned when they're nine years old. And that's a good thing. And you let that be, you know, exactly, I just see it pretty basically, as people's bodies break down, and everyone dies. And on the way to that death, they require health care, you're going to either give them the money at the end, after they've lived a hard life that they or just give them money in the beginning and make their life better. Exactly how the hell does that not make sense? Like you mean, like, it's the same money? Just put it in a better place?

Melanie 58:33
Yeah, no, I completely agree with you. And I think that you're spot on when you say that people want like I do when they want to feel special. And we have idolized this idea of, like you said, pulling yourself up from your bootstraps and being the success story. Yeah, you know, because I've talked to people and they're like, Well, I believe that no matter what happens, anyone can kind of pull themselves up. And it's like, but should they have to?

Scott Benner 59:00
Also can they? And is that fair? Like, you know, if you come from a systemic situation where for I mean, imagine 10 generations of people who barely get through high school and never go to college, right? Like, how is how is the the mother in 2020? That's from that line of, you know, of despair? How is she going to make a good decision for herself or her kid? She doesn't have the tools, like you said yourself, your husband had to go to college and meet a lot of other people to hear a lot of other opinions and ideas before he could kind of coalesce them together and say, Alright, well, this thing I heard when I was a kid, that's not right. But this does sound right. And I'm going to take this and this and put it together and turn myself into a person. That's, you know, we just act like that's always going to come from parents. When the truth is, it probably doesn't come from parents as frequently as we'd like to hope. Yeah, and then, you know, and then we just put it on them go, oh, they should have done a better job or they don't know how to do a better job.

Melanie 1:00:00
Exactly. Well, what's even what's funny to me, is my family, obviously, who we've talked about extensively. And just to give you a little, a little backstory to I have five brothers and sisters. So chances are, I'm not the only one with this condition. But none of them will go get tested because my family still doesn't have health insurance.

Scott Benner 1:00:23
And so yeah, they're gonna live their life into the ground then. And so

Melanie 1:00:26
I've begged them, go get tested, go figure it out. But and I finally had to decide I'm not their mother, I can't do anything. I've talked to my mom about it. I've told her, push them to get tested, but I can't. And those same siblings are some of the ones that are so against getting any type of help any type of quote, unquote, handout. And it's, it's just heartbreaking to me because I'm sitting here saying, you could have what I have, like judo, you're just ignoring it. And you have all these viewpoints that are against your own interest. And so that's that's why I say I think a lot of people say things out of ignorance is because they just they think they're fine. And it's easy to hold a viewpoint when you've never dealt with it.

Scott Benner 1:01:16
Listen, $45 worth of rubbers would have been, you know, sent to your dad, we would have been in a better situation. You know,

Unknown Speaker 1:01:24
I mean, theoretically,

Scott Benner 1:01:26
theoretically here like he would have us but horrible to think about I didn't mean to talk about your parents haven't apologized right now.

Melanie 1:01:36
No, you're fine. I've had so many uncomfortable conversations in my lifetime that nothing scares me anymore. So

Scott Benner 1:01:43
So isn't it interesting to I'm have to clear my throat I apologize. Oh, my God, I'm gonna die. Hold on. This is it's almost overwhelming. I apologize. Oh, no, no worries. I was gonna say, Isn't it interesting that your parents won't take medical help, and they don't want anybody to help them and she can't go to the hospital because she's on fire. But I'm assuming she went to a hospital have all those babies.

Melanie 1:02:11
She actually had my two younger siblings at home. God.

Scott Benner 1:02:15
Damn, no kidding. Harder, or your mom is she's like, I'm not taking help, because he's trying to make a point and I was wrong. Oh, your mom's like, no, no, this thing comes out. We all die. That's how it has to happen.

Melanie 1:02:28
My mom is pretty hardcore. I think that's where I get a lot of it from my mom is stubborn. She is a stubborn woman. And I think if she learned how to like, cultivate that better. She'd be a very, very, like, intellectually

Scott Benner 1:02:45
successful person. Yeah, I mean, look, what yeah. What part of the country did you grow up in?

Melanie 1:02:50
I mean, live in New Mexico,

Scott Benner 1:02:52
New Mexico. Okay. All right. I don't know anything about it. I was just interested to hear. Holy hell. Let's take a breath for a minute. Melanie. This is a live demo, right? It was a lot. I thought you were gonna come on and talk about moody and I was gonna go like, I don't know what moody is. And then it was gonna be over. But instead, we learned about life. I mean, I love it. It's a great podcast, everything that looks different. Listen to it sometimes ago. I know it's a diabetes podcast, but it's really not.

Melanie 1:03:22
No, I agree. I agree. And, and I fully believe that, like I kind of said at the beginning, we can't compartmentalize our health. And a lot of times people want to put their diabetes in a box, whether it be it's for them or for their kids, or, or whatnot. And what I just had to learn, and this is something that I've had to process with the ever present reality that one or both of my kids could have what I have is, I've had to already start processing in my mind. How do I teach them to have an okay life? How do I teach them that their diabetes is not everything? And we try to just think that it's all about just fixing the diabetes. And we don't realize that your mental health matters as much as your blood sugar's maybe it's not as immediate, right? Like, you can't die from a mental hypo. But it lingers with you. And it stays with you. And when we're helping the people around us kind of going back to how do you how do you help people, you cannot leave out the components of how was their mental health? How, how is this affecting their view on the world as a whole? Right, like, I had to realize down the line that a big part of why it was so hard for me to get medical help is I had this idea in my mind that I was not worth spending money on. My parents didn't have a lot. And I thought if I had to spend our money on medical things that I was a burden to our family.

Scott Benner 1:05:04
Oh, you were a drain if you did that, yeah. And so

Melanie 1:05:07
all those thoughts are so real. And we can't neglect those and we can't neglect addressing them with ourselves and with other people, too, is reaffirming for them, you're not a drain on this family. Like you have no reason to be feel guilty for this, like I spent years feeling guilty, like I would even i There were times I would tell my husband, I'm so sorry, that I'm I'm such a drain on our budget. And it was just like, it stems into everything. And so we can't just put it in a box and say, let's fix the problem. You have to say,

Scott Benner 1:05:45
I'm sorry to cut you off. I apologize.

Melanie 1:05:47
No, I was just to say we have to look at the external elements as well. How is this affecting my view on my finances? How is this affecting my relationships, right? Because it can become very easy as well to start viewing yourself as the problem child, or they just have to take care of me and we start viewing ourselves as diabetes and not as a person in the family

Scott Benner 1:06:13
sort of comes back around to what we said earlier about wanting to help somebody and I never considered that you would make that person feel like a burden, because they they were somebody you looked at who felt like they needed help even. Yeah, yeah, I really appreciate you bringing this up. I mean, I recorded I don't even know how many podcasts at this point, probably like 650 of them. And this just never come up. Like no one's ever used. Like I just seriously. I believe that people who grew up in a hard way have so much to share. And they don't get an opportunity sometimes to share it. So I'm really glad that you're here talking about it. But just in general, like the idea of not feeling worthy of having $1 spent on you is I bet you're foreign to a lot of people and probably very real to more people than you would think.

Melanie 1:07:05
Yeah. Especially if you grew up with tight was tight funds. Yeah. Right. Because you see, you see the budget and and for my husband and I we've worked very, very good with our money. We budgeted always because that was just the adult thing to do. We didn't know why we just did it. And it panned out well for us. But actually seeing those medical expenses on the budget, and I still I still struggle with it to this day. Because medical supplies even with insurance are not cheap.

Scott Benner 1:07:35
Oh, Melanie, I feel broke no matter how much money I have. I could have an amount of money and double it. And I would still feel broke. And exactly I grew up after my dad took off when I was 13. My brother Brother eight, my other brother three. So three 813 My mom went to get a job because she'd only ever had like this part time job for like extra money. And she went to them and said like, I need full time hours now like Yeah, great. But she worked in like a private clothing store. Like by private. I mean, like it wasn't part of a chain. And I remember she was making $3.75 an hour. And so that was probably an ad three ish, right. And I remember when she got to raise to four and a quarter and how excited we all were. And I remember that there were times where we had like a number. I think it was like $60 We could spend on food a week. We were relying on we rented a home. And but it was a home that was owned by a church. So it was like the parsonage that they didn't use. So they rented it out to us. And we lived in it for years, like for a long time. But then my dad left. And the entire time I lived there. They never raised the rent. Wow. So by the time I left, by the time I moved out probably seven or eight years later now into like the early 90s. They were still charging my mom $300 a month to rent a three storey house that had four bedrooms in it. Oh, wow. Because and without that we wouldn't have made it. That's crazy. Like and so like when you hear tight budget, like understand what that really means. It doesn't mean like, you know, like you can't get a PlayStation when they make a PlayStation five because it's expensive. Like it meant like we didn't have anything. Yeah, yeah, like Christmas was a Christmas we got things we need it because you just did what Christmas was was the things you needed to survive wrapped in paper. Exactly. I mean, it wasn't quite a can of soup wrapped up but you know if you needed a jet if you needed a jacket, you know you got you know if it got cold in October and you're out had outgrown your jacket. Well, you just stayed cold till December 25. So mom had something to give you on Christmas. Like Exactly, and that's even lucky for a lot of people.

Melanie 1:09:54
Mm hmm. For sure. I mean, I I totally get that. Like I don't I think I can count on one hand the amount of like, new things I got as a kid, you know, and it was just an even then there was so much guilt around it. And it's just real. You know that. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:10:15
everything that happened in my life, I thought, how are we going to pay for that? Everything didn't matter what happened is something broke. It was like, well, that's gone now, because we can't replace it. Or if something had to happen, I don't know how we're going to pay for that. It took me years into my adulthood not to feel that way. And I and like I said, I still feel broke in my head. And I'm not. And I still feel like I am. Ironically. And my bigger point around this was going to be that broke, people have great perspective. And they and they know how to get they know how to get around and through things. And one of those ways that I'm going to tell you, you know, is a happy story is that the success of this podcast is partially due to the fact that I grew up broke. Because when I see downloads, which mean people listening, it never feels like enough to me, wow, like, so it's the same as the money like I never feel like I have enough money, because it's all gonna go away, or we're going to lose it or I'm not going to have enough. And the same thing about this like as so it translates well into helping people with diabetes, which of course also coalesces nicely into my feeling that I have to save everybody. So. So it works out really well. So like when I get hundreds of 1000s of downloads in a month. I think that's a really cool, it could be more. It's my first I never feel done. And I think that's why part of the reason why the podcast is still growing, because I still push at it like it's not successful.

Melanie 1:11:42
Yeah. And it's, it's, I found is such a fine balance. Because that backstory is what can drive you to be successful. And it's, it's important to never forsake that part of your life, like I have grown up to be very resourceful. Because I had to be, like, I bought, I started buying my own clothes when I was 13. It's just what it was. And that has made me a very resourceful person, like, I can take anything and turn it into anything else. I'm just I'm confident of that. But at the same point, it can also trap you in a mindset of, like you said, feeling like it's never enough, and you can never be enough and you can never reach enough. And so it really is this balance of learning how to take that, take the heart of the hardship, and thrive on it. But allow yourself to become new mentally and say, This is not where I have to stay.

Scott Benner 1:12:39
Ya know, I feel that like I, you know, there are weeks sometimes when I just sit here for hours and hours and hours a day for six days a week, and I don't think anything of it, because it's so much easier than the jobs I had when I was poor. Yeah, like, it doesn't feel like anything to me. I'm like, it almost feels like a dream. But at the same time, I know I should probably not be working this hard at something, but I'm not going to stop because then you also get the feedback from it helping people like look, you came off you talked about like, we haven't really talked about it today. But I made a thing and you're living healthy because of

Melanie 1:13:13
it. Exactly. And that's something I hope you're proud of.

Scott Benner 1:13:16
I am very much so thank you. But yeah, I'm not gonna, I don't know, I probably don't know how to stop. But I think that's important because this can be it can become tedious at some points, like you are the third person I've spoken to this week. When I hang up with you. I'm gonna have to say goodbye in a second. I have like 10 minutes, and then I'm gonna record another episode. Wow. So and then I do Jenny tomorrow, and there's editing tonight and editing tomorrow. And it just it really doesn't like it doesn't stop and I love it. Like I genuinely genuinely love it. But I don't think I could have done it if I would have grown up with money and with comfort. I know that sounds really strange. But

Melanie 1:13:58
no, I totally feel that and that could lead us down a whole nother rabbit hole. I know you don't have time for it. But I think that's a lot of why some people are so married to this idea of not helping other people is because they think that you need hardship and in a way you do but then you have to weigh the pros and cons Yeah, okay, well, which hardships like

Scott Benner 1:14:19
not only let me say in fairness, I believe that if I could have afforded to have my teeth cleaned as a child, my lifestyle would have been hard I'm not saying to pick people up and carry them along because I don't disagree either. By the way that you don't need the hardships actually there are people who don't have any that probably could benefit from some of them. I spent a lot of time as I had kids wondering where my kids hardships were going to come from and sometimes trying to not work history at them, but when they when I saw them have trouble I was like let them sit in it for a while. You know, like like that kind of thing. So I'm with I'm I don't not believe that. I think it's important I think pressure creates diamonds etc or whatever. But at the same time, I mean that pressure doesn't have to be a cavity in your mouth that you can't get taken care of. That's exactly silly. It doesn't have to be that you have diabetes when you're 10. And you can't afford insulin or, and I'll, I'll use this example. And it's outside of the United States. So people might, you know, like, dismiss it. But years and years ago, I spoke in the Dominican Republic, where, if you were diagnosed very early with diabetes, like super early, 234 years old, you were dead by the time you were 12, or 13. You know, and so, you think that can happen here? You don't think it's happening to people here? I bet you it is. Yeah, absolutely. So, alright, Melody, this has been an upbeat conversation. Well,

Melanie 1:15:43
I appreciate you, thank you so much for having me. And it's it's been such a joy. And I wanted to tell you, though, one one last funny thing, please. I always listened to the podcast on like two or three speed, just because to sit more, more in my day, right. And so it's it's so interesting hearing you talk at normal speed. I

Scott Benner 1:16:01
can't believe this seems normal to you. Because most people are like, Oh my God, you talk so fast. I sound like a two times speed off the listen and find out. You just have a little higher pitch just a little bit changes my pitch, just ever so slightly, but the resonance in my voice is my favorite thing about my voice. You can't take that from me.

Melanie 1:16:20
Okay, it will make you feel better. I'll listen to one UFC

Scott Benner 1:16:23
waste more time in your life for me so that I can feel better about something that I'll never know is happening or

Melanie 1:16:28
not compensate for not naming. My daughter's got it? How about that?

Scott Benner 1:16:32
Listen, you could just call the kids Scott. Or you could go with Mike, you could go with my middle name. What's your middle name? I would never say that on here. So

Melanie 1:16:41
almost got it.

Scott Benner 1:16:42
It is such a terrible name. Anyway,

Melanie 1:16:46
I appreciate you. Good luck on your next recording. And thank you so much for all you do. I really do appreciate it. And I know it's made a big difference in my life. And it will be for my daughters. Hopefully they don't have to ever deal with it. But at least they'll have an understanding and have empathy towards other people.

Scott Benner 1:17:01
That's very kind of you. I guess I don't want your 20 year old daughters to have to listen to a 70 year old me tell them how to Pre-Bolus

Melanie 1:17:09
Don't worry, I'll take care of that.

Scott Benner 1:17:11
I'll be talking slower by then.

Melanie 1:17:14
Then we'll speed it up,

Scott Benner 1:17:16
then you're gonna have to hold on one second for me. Okay. Okay.

I want to thank Melanie for coming on the show and sharing her story with us. And I'd also like to thank Omni pod and US med for sponsoring this episode. Go to us med.com forward slash juice box to get started today with us man. Or you can call them at 888-721-1514. And of course on the pod dash on the pod five and all the good on the pod stuff we talked about. Is it on the pod.com forward slash juicebox. Links to the sponsors are in the shownotes of the podcast player you're listening in right now. And it juicebox podcast.com.

Don't forget if you're enjoying the show to share it with someone else. If you're really loving it, leave a great rating and review wherever you listen. And if you're looking for that private Facebook group, it's on Facebook. That's where they keep all the Facebook groups right there on Facebook. And it's called Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. It's a private group. I think that's all I have for you today other than to say don't forget to go to the T one D exchange and take the survey T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. I really appreciate that you listen today. Thank you