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Podcast Episodes

The Juicebox Podcast is from the writer of the popular diabetes parenting blog Arden's Day and the award winning parenting memoir, 'Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad'. Hosted by Scott Benner, the show features intimate conversations of living and parenting with type I diabetes.

Filtering by Category: Pre Bolus

#338 Jordan Won't Be Curbed

Scott Benner

Being newly diagnosed at 26

Jordan talks about what it's like to be diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a young adult in the age of amazing diabetes technology.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:07
Hey everybody, whoo. Oh, excuse me. Hey, everybody. Hey everybody, welcome to Episode 338 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is with Jordan, and it is a absolute delight. Seriously, this hour is going to rush by. And all you'll think when it's over is Oh, no, please can I have more? Jordan is a 25 year old girl who is newly diagnosed. And her outlook on diabetes is almost unlike anyone I've ever spoken to. Very interesting to hear person her age diagnosed right now, and the experience they're having. Beyond that, she really is wonderful. And the conversation is absolutely terrific. At the end of this episode, I'll fumbling around looking for an acronym that I'll never be able to think of. But just so you know, now it's a s m r. Okay, real quick. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin, be doctor.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod, and Dexcom on the pot, of course, the best insulin pump in the whole world in my opinion. And it's tubeless, you can try a free, no obligation demo of the AMI pod by clicking on the links in your show notes. Were the ones that Juicebox podcast.com that leads you to my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. And of course to learn more about the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor dexcom.com Ford slash juice box. There'll be more about these wonderful sponsors, little later in the show. But for now, this is Jordan.

Jordan 2:06
My name is Jordan. I'm 25 years old, I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes, January 15 2019. While I was 25 years old.

Scott Benner 2:16
So Jordan, I do a thing when people who are newer diagnosed, reach out and want to be on the podcast. Sometimes I say to them, do it next year if you've lived with it. And sometimes I'm like, Yeah, come on right now. I don't know why I get the vibe one way or the other when I do. But you were one that I was like, hey, let's let's get this together as quickly as we can now for you know, coherency sake for people listening. What that means is that you emailed me in February, and now in August 1 recording so right away, right? Yes. I'm sorry that it took so long.

Jordan 2:49
No, no, that's fine. Very cool. I know you're a busy man. And you're booked up. So

Scott Benner 2:53
you're, you're very kind to say that so that other people think that is true about me? No, no. To be honest, it's this was the year that the podcast really showed to me. Like, how it was growing because I am booking Now, sometimes nine months or a year ahead of when people asked to be on and that yeah, that's amazing. throws me off a little bit. Right. You're 25 now where you're you, you're so you're still okay. Is there any diabetes in the family?

Jordan 3:23
Not my immediate family. So on my dad's side, his cousin has type one diabetes, and his uncle. So not any immediate family but distant family.

Scott Benner 3:34
So nobody was walking around thinking, Oh, my 25 year old daughter is probably gonna get diabetes any second now?

Jordan 3:41
Yeah, not at all just hit us all in the face.

Scott Benner 3:44
Now when that happens, and your father then did your father live with your brother while like did your uncle have diabetes, I guess when your your father and he were kids, I guess so.

Jordan 3:53
It's actually my dad's uncle. So it's not my uncle? Um, no, that's okay. But he didn't really see him that much. So he wasn't really around the whole diabetes thing. He didn't really. I mean, my parents both knew the symptoms of diabetics and all of that stuff, but they didn't really think their daughter would end up with diabetes.

Scott Benner 4:20
And so you know what, I was wondering if if had he lived with a brother with it? Was it Well, no, it was wondering what his reaction might have been. So you have a your diagnosis story, I think seems like it's worth telling. So yes, I know. I don't usually just go tell me your whole story about being diagnosed, but I want to hear yours.

Jordan 4:37
In December of 2018 I actually got a really bad car accident. I was at a Christmas party that my company was hosting and I had two alcoholic drinks. I ate a bunch of food budget Carvey stuff a chicken parm I broccoli, and I actually had pineapple Juice. I didn't know at this time that I was diabetic, obviously. And I drove home thinking, Oh yeah, I'm fine. I was at the party for about six hours. I didn't have a drink for about three hours before I left. It was really foggy. And it was raining that night. I was in a really unfamiliar area, and I ended up crashing into a curb on a rotary. So I had to call the cops cops came. They thought I was drunk. So they arrested me. I'm still going through that right now. But I am finding that I was diabetic at the time. I was experiencing symptoms before that. And it's funny because that day before I went to my party, I didn't really think anything of it, but I had Burger King for lunch, which I'm, I was always normally healthy. Burger King wasn't really my number one choice. But I had Burger King, I had a large Dr. Pepper. I will never drink Dr. Pepper again. And I got home in two hours after I ate the Burger King actually threw everything up.

Scott Benner 6:13
Did you just think that was your body being like conscious of your health?

Jordan 6:17
Yeah, yeah, I was like, you know, I had Burger King, that probably wasn't the best for me. So maybe my body was just rejecting the Burger King because I haven't had fast food and so long. So, um, that happened, accident happened. And 17 days after the accident. I was in the hospital and DK.

Scott Benner 6:40
Yeah, so it was coming on and going away still, like kind of ebb and flow and, you know, a little higher. So it's interesting that you think about the, the, like the fogginess of the of the night, do you think Yeah, was your vision? Do you think? Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. Not because it was definitely

Jordan 6:58
blurred? No, yeah. My vision was definitely blurred. And I was experiencing issues with my vision. Actually, I work in front of a computer all day. So I was like, you know, I think my eyes are getting worse because of me working in front of a computer and all that stuff. And it was actually because my blood sugar was too high. So I'm sorry for ya. I'm

Scott Benner 7:20
sure that'll work out. Do you have a good feeling? Oh, yeah. Work out in court?

Jordan 7:24
Yes, I do. I have a very good lawyer now. He definitely wants to fight for me, because it's clear that I had diabetes at that moment, because I actually had messaged my primary care on December 12, of 2018. I was like, You know what, I'm drinking over a gallon of water a day. I urinate a lot. My mouth is really dry. And I was like, I have trouble eating a bagel and blah, blah, blah. And my primary care actually never ended up responding to me. Um, so they actually could have diagnosed me before I even got my accident. Which sort of sucks.

Scott Benner 8:03
It's interesting how we kind of don't communicate still with our doctors properly. There's all this technology available. And still, no one's sort of put it together with how do you how do you speak properly to your doctor? I have to say that ardens endo is really responsive to emails. And oh, okay. We I think I've settled on another episode. But Arden has hypothyroidism and we were able to dial her medication in in a matter of weeks, instead of a matter of a year because it was try this Okay, here's another script, go get a blood test, you know, like that kind of thing. And it just it was so much more responsive. And it really does sound like if someone would have responded to you that you would have had a different situation. Well, I'm glad you're okay.

Jordan 8:45
Yeah, me too. No, I was not hurt in the accident. Um, I wasn't going fast. Just hit a curb and hit anything or anybody else, thank God. But when I was admitted to the ER, I was with my grandmother, and our hospital over here, sort of on a hill. So I'm trying to walk up the hill, and I'm very shortness of breath. I can almost not breathe. So I was walking up the hill walking up the hill, and all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe anymore. I was like, You know what, Nana, like, I need to I need to stop I need to sit down for a second. So I actually sat on the sidewalk. And she was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna go get someone. So I actually had to be wheelchairs into the hospital because I couldn't even walk anymore. I couldn't even breathe anymore.

Scott Benner 9:39
I guess it's a good so it's not a good sign when your grandmother can make it up the hill and you can't and

Unknown Speaker 9:43
it right.

Scott Benner 9:45
I'm gonna just actually I'm gonna divert for one half of a second and tell you though, yeah, when I was a kid, they would decorate the the Burger Kings. The McDonald's with these clings like these big things. They would stick to the window. So like, every time they you know, started a new campaign. It was almost like they kind of To repaper the windows with these things, there was this giant Burger King, he was the size of the entire door. It must, it must have been like three feet wide and six feet tall. So Burger King near my house and I said to my friends one day, I'm like, we've got to get that out of here. And and they were like, what I'm like, Don't you feel like we need this? Like, you know, back then, like we all had stereos that were really big. And like there was glass doors on I thought, wouldn't that be great on the glass door of a stereo? And so we did successfully steal that Burger King cleaning off? Oh, wow. Just really proud of that for some reason, and I just wanted to tell you. Okay, so you haven't you've had diabetes officially? for nine months ish?

Unknown Speaker 10:39
Not even nine months? Yeah. Yep.

Scott Benner 10:42
So this is, uh, this is great. So great. Not for you. But for the pocket. For you. It's a heart for the podcast. It's fantastic. All right. So I'd like to know you're in a major metropolitan area, and you're diagnosed with Type One Diabetes, and you know, January of 2019. How do you leave the hospital? What's the feeling going out the door? Like, what do you think this is going to be for your life. I'm going to start today talking about the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. Arden, of course, has been wearing the AMI pod. Since she was four years old. She's going to be 16. This summer. That's a long time, Arden has been wearing an ami pot, every one of those days since she was four. And it is an absolute staple in her diabetes care. As quickly as time appears to be going in that little parable. It's going even more quickly, quicker, faster. the right word there as quickly as time's going by and that little parable, it's going even more quickly, more quickly can't be right, it's going even faster. That even sounds like wrong. What do I want to say? We're really we were way past what I wanted to say. All I want to say is, you know, everybody's sort of in their home right now. And time is going by incredibly slow and incredibly fast. At the same time, the days take forever. The weeks are going by is that that's what I met this lady here to get it just I'm sorry. It's like 1130 trying to get this done. Because it's not your problem. You don't care. Anyway, my point is, don't wait to try the Omni pod. Especially when they're offering you an absolutely free, no obligation demo, they'll put an omni pod in a box and send it to your home. There you will do whatever you want with it. Honestly, I guess if you wanted to stick it to the roof of your car and tell people you were a police officer. Like you should probably have the color like red and blue. But you could do that with it. But it would make more sense if you put it on your body where your child's body and tried it. See what it's like to wear it on the pot for a couple of days. Take a bath with a shower, wander around the house, do your calisthenics, please, this 1950 I gotta I might be something wrong with me. My point is, it's free and there's no obligation and you'll get to find out what you think of the Omni pod. without taking any risk. Just go to my Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox when you use that link, that's how I'm the pod No, she came from here. So help me out. If you can hit the link, you can find it right there in the show notes for your podcast player for Juicebox podcast.com, where you can just type it in. Now in my opinion, no diabetes technology suite. I don't mean like s ui TE sweet, like a grouping of things. I'm I'm I think I had a stroke a couple minutes ago. But that's not going to stop me from telling you about the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor and how amazing I think it is. I'm looking right now at ardens blood sugar, it is literally 1130 here. And Arden's in bed, her blood sugar's 93 and stable. But about an hour and a half ago, she was falling, and I didn't expect it. But she was drifting down 105 96 a little diagonal Down Arrow, I could sort of tell by the pathway of the of the arrow. This wasn't going to stop. And Arden was you know, wanting to get a shower before bed and they said I think you just have to have just maybe 1012 carbs right here. I know that from experience. You know, and, and I know that hold on.

I'm not editing this at all. I just again I'm sorry. Anyway, I know from experience that the pitch of that arrow, that line was telling me about 10 or 12 carbs, you should took the meme. When we got our shower, kind of bottomed out around 72 and came back up to this 93 number I'm seeing right now instead, I was able to do that. Because of what I've learned from Arden's Dexcom, g six over the years from using Dexcom for years and years and years, I can just interpret that But my ability to interpret that line would be meaningless if that line wasn't there. Without that information, if Arden was just doing finger sticks alone, I never would have seen that drop. As a matter of fact, if we would have tested her right before that shower, I would have seen a blood sugar of 103. And thought boost is perfect go. But it wasn't Dexcom told us that. And they told us that in a way that helped us stop a low from ever happening, and no rebound high. Now, you might notice the music's not playing anymore. But I hit a little stride there and I wasn't gonna stop dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. let Dexcom know you came from the Juicebox Podcast. More importantly, go find out more about it and get yourself one if you can. Seriously, best advice I could possibly give you get an Dexcom yet it on the pod. And they're not sponsors of the show today, but get a Contour. Next One blood glucose meter two links are in the show notes. And at Juicebox podcast.com. Okay, well, luckily, the guy who recorded those ads is not the same guy that interviewed Jordan. So let's get back to it. What do you think this is gonna be for your life,

Jordan 16:12
I felt like a new person. I felt like I didn't really even know much. I had a really bad experience in the hospital, I actually had to learn how to use an insulin pen by myself with YouTube.

Scott Benner 16:27
They just were in the room and shut the door again.

Jordan 16:32
Yeah, the nurses didn't even know how to use an insulin pen, which made me very, very scared. So I was just like, you know what, just give me my pen and I'll figure it out. So figured that out on my own. Of course, my mother stayed in the hospital with me, she slept in my hospital room every single night. It's wonderful. She did not go home at all, she went home, maybe for an hour each day to shower. But that's about it. So I walked out of the hospital, like, I'm a whole new person, I'm going to have a whole new lifestyle. I am not going to be able to eat ice cream at 10 o'clock at night anymore. I'm not gonna be able to eat this, this and that. Um, but obviously, I can eat whatever I want. That was just my thought when I was leaving the hospital. So

Unknown Speaker 17:19
Wow. That's

Scott Benner 17:21
Yeah, that's sad. And but understandable. If they were like, Hey, here's the thing that will keep you alive. We don't know how to show you to use it. But you've got to figure it out. But now, but I think that's kind of that's inspiring, though. And I think it to me, speaks to what I think people can do about taking over their own care and why you know, on some level, why I think the podcast is so important. So right, so you're given an insulin pen, you know, nothing of it. And you're saying YouTube is where you learn how to use it.

Jordan 17:52
Yes, I looked up using an insulin pen on YouTube. And me and my mom watched a video together. I tried it. And I did it

Scott Benner 18:01
was that. That's really spectacular. And I think, a good indicator to anybody listening that, you know, you can't, you can't like forget you shouldn't you can't just sit back and say, I'm getting incomplete advice. I guess. This is my life. Now I'll have incomplete advice. Right, right.

Jordan 18:19
Yes. So definitely doable by yourself. Yeah. Go ahead.

Scott Benner 18:24
No, no, I was gonna say that, you know, initially said, I felt like a new person. And there was a moment. But there was a moment where I thought you were going to go down the road where you're like, I'm a new woman now. Like, like, like, you men. Yes. You meant everything about life. completely different. Day one starting over. Except, yeah, except you don't get to be a baby and feel your way through it for nine years. Right? Exactly. Completely frightening or did you feel supported by your family or what helped them.

Jordan 18:54
I was very, very, very supported by my family. friends came to see me at the hospital. My mom's friends came to see me at the hospital. My grandparents came all the time. My mother and father were always there. My boyfriend was always there. So I definitely had a lot of support. The only thing is, is my family doesn't really know much about type one diabetes. So when I first got diagnosed, we were all on the internet on Google searching. What is type one diabetes? What can we do to do anything that helps type one diabetes, and all this stuff? And going on the internet was probably not the best thing for me to do.

Scott Benner 19:40
Yeah. So I was gonna say, Did you find helpful advice or did you find people going, Oh, my God, everything sucks.

Jordan 19:47
I did find some helpful stuff. But obviously, I ran into like the complications and sort of scared myself. So that was the only bad thing that I sort of saw.

Scott Benner 20:00
That's a unfortunate downside of the I think the need of the internet to help right people is that you're going to find, you know, I say all the time like the internet's for like three things, right? It's email pornography and complaining. And so I don't really know that it's or anything else. And, and so you're, you know, people don't generally get online to be like, Hey, you know what's amazing in my life, my CGM. And here's right, like nobody takes the time to talk about things that are going great because you're hoping life goes great. You know, you, you get stuck on the things that aren't going well. And then there's so much bad information as your story kind of highlights, you know, imagine other people who didn't think to go to YouTube when the nurse at the hospital said, Hey, here's your insulin pen. Good luck. Yeah. You know, then they make their way to the next person who was in that situation, who says, This is what diabetes is, we're all screwed. And then they think, Oh, I'm screwed. And then that's the path they go down. Right. So it's really, um, it's inspiring to know that you found one way, it's sad to know that sometimes people bump into that other information.

Jordan 21:11
Yeah, I mean, I'm sort of happy, I sort of figured it out on my own. Because I am 25 years old. I'm not 12 years old, getting diagnosed. still a kid. So me figuring it out myself sort of made me think that I can do this on my own. This is doable, if I just put my head together and try and do this myself. So I think it was helpful in a way but obviously, it did talk at the beginning. So

Scott Benner 21:41
I believe that too, I believe that it's, yeah, it's something that if you have, you know, sort of the right entree into that you can work your way through with with a with a decent mindset and some luck, you know what I mean? Like you don't bump into some bump into some stuff, you've got, you know, insurance that will help you those sorts of things. So, that that, um, it does lead me to that idea. Like, you're 25 like, you're right on that precipice for like, Hey, get off your parent's insurance. Are you like a gainfully employed? 25 year old a US college students still are you just so I went?

Jordan 22:11
Yeah. So I'm still on my mother's insurance as of right now. Um, but obviously, I'm gonna need to find my own insurance. I am employed at four different places. I am a girl's soccer coach right now. I'm a girls lacrosse coach in the spring. So I work at a high school in my town. I actually went to that high school. I work at a insulation company. I work at champs sports, which is a sneaker store. And then I work at Red Rose pizzeria in Springfield, mass,

Scott Benner 22:46
I believe, I believe you're part of what they call the gig economy. Isn't that? Isn't that what they listen to? If you're like, I don't know, try to stay alive. But you know where people right? People are always looking for gigs. Like, they'll they'll right now. It's like, oh, the you know, unemployment is fantastic. Sure. Because someone like Jordan has five jobs making the unemployment rate for less open jobs because of Jordan, then there should be a lot, a lot of other people in that situation. So you've named a few jobs there. I'm not sure about the installation come? Is there an opportunity in there for you to get health insurance with one of them?

Jordan 23:20
Yes. So if I were to be full time at Red Rose, I would get health insurance through them. I'm only part time right now. I am full time at the insulation company. And they do provide BlueCross BlueShield. So I will be looking into that

Scott Benner 23:37
option when the time's right when you when you have to get off and go right to your parents. Which better insurance then?

Jordan 23:43
Yeah, yeah, they have helped New England and it's definitely helped a lot.

Unknown Speaker 23:47
No kidding.

Scott Benner 23:48
Well, it's just interesting that and let me ask you, do you feel like you know, your five jobs right now. So do you have a job of those five that you think I wish this was my forever job? And I'd like to do this, but I'm going to have to go towards that because of the insurance. Do you feel that pressure?

Jordan 24:07
Um, actually, no, I want to get into law enforcement. So I wanna Yeah, so none of these jobs I want to do forever.

Scott Benner 24:21
Okay. What Why? Why, like law enforcement? Can I ask?

Jordan 24:25
I yeah. So I sort of always wanted to be a police officer, ever since I was growing up. I really know why. I just feel as though I want to provide people with safety. I've always been sort of a leader. I played three sports throughout high school. I was always a captain and I would always look out for my teammates. So I was always that leader, that person that made sure everybody's safe, everybody's good to go. So

Scott Benner 24:59
that's actually one of the Steps To do that, then what do you have to? Do? I mean, the police academy, did you do go through college for that? Or is it

Jordan 25:07
you don't have to go to college to be a police officer. But I do have three and a half years of college experience. I just didn't end up getting my degree. I will be going back and getting it. But I just ran into some car insurance issues and issues that I had to start working to make money.

Scott Benner 25:29
So I thought you're gonna say just ran to a curb, but I heard that story already. So yeah, you did. Okay. Well, that's really that's a great thing. And so this is something you're going to be moving towards soon.

Jordan 25:41
Yeah, I actually applied to be a correctional officer. And I'm waiting to hear back from them. It's been quite a while I passed the physical exam to be a correctional officer back in July.

So I'm sort of getting impatient, but

Scott Benner 25:58
maybe a strongly worded email. Right. And the diabetes doesn't get in the way of the idea of being I mean, I know it doesn't. But I'm asking you, you don't you're not seeing any roadblocks.

Jordan 26:09
No, not at all. Yeah, I don't think diabetes stops anybody from doing anything really. So

Scott Benner 26:15
yeah, there's some there's been someone on in the past who's fighting for certain pilot's license for people and actually making real headway. But there were certain I think certain truck drivers, certain trucks, you couldn't drive in the past. I think that's gone now. And then certain certain pilot's license you couldn't hold for, and I don't know, the designations for the certain plates. It's probably passenger planes. But But I think they're even making real inroads in that. And actually, glucose sensing technology is a big part of why people are being able to or people are able to make headway there. Because they're able to well, you know, so that kind of leads me to do you still have that pen that the nurse doesn't know how to use?

Did you still have that pen that the nurse doesn't know how to use?

Jordan 27:12
No, I'm actually on the on the pod dash. Oh, yeah.

Scott Benner 27:18
I think you're the first person I've spoken to. Really? I think it may be true. Yeah.

Jordan 27:23
Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, I love it. So I started. Let's see, it's August. Now. I started the Omni pod in late June. Okay.

Scott Benner 27:35
And you began right away with dash like, so you've never used the, like the second generation PDM?

Jordan 27:41
Nope, just started the dash. Cool.

Scott Benner 27:43
That's excellent. Yeah. So you have basically a small cell phone in your pocket that you can give yourself in some way?

Jordan 27:49
I do. Yep. It's great. The only issue I do have with the dash is if I put it on my thighs, obviously, I sort of forget about it. So when I'm putting on my leggings, or putting on my jeans, I'll run into it. And sometimes it'll just pop off.

Scott Benner 28:06
Oh, okay. So with just with with your site in general, if you don't think about one, you're just you know, you'll get used to that eventually. I think that I think everyone who's had diabetes longer than you just said, Oh, yeah, that that happens. The beginning. Yeah. So you went to insulin pumping? Are you using a glucose sensor? Or no?

Jordan 28:24
I am. I'm on the dexcom. Look at you.

Scott Benner 28:28
Get you to do an ad right now. So when did you find the CGM? Did you find it before or after the pump?

Jordan 28:35
Yes, I found it after the pump. I was still pricking my finger back in July. So I'm very, very, very new to Dexcom. And I actually learned how to use it on my own. So I didn't even go to my endo. I open up the box, read the directions and did my first one on my own. So

Scott Benner 28:56
this is really interesting, because I see this online a lot where people are like, they sent me my stuff, but I'm supposed to wait for the trainer. I have a I haven't I have a you know, some setup with them six weeks from now. I'm like, wait, you know, wait six weeks. And, and then you know, you'll see somebody come into a thread and say, I should just go ahead and put it on or find a YouTube video. It's easy. And I don't disagree with that. It's easy. But some people feel very compelled to like no, they told me to wait. And they wait. Did someone tell you to wait? Or were you would was that not even an issue?

Jordan 29:27
My endo actually told me if I get the dexcom she believes that I will be able to do it myself. So she was like, if you feel comfortable with doing the Dexcom by yourself, definitely do it. If you want to make an appointment, I can make an appointment for you right now. But just do whatever you want to do. And I was like, You know what? I can probably just figure it out. And she was telling me how it sort of works and how I'm supposed to put it on my body. So I was like, You know what, yeah, I can do that just pretty much sounds like my pump.

Scott Benner 29:57
So your generation is fantastic. Because, seriously, because like, you know, just even like you're you're accustomed to things being an app, right? Like just one, you know, one razor thin sliver of light on your cell phone, right? That's, that's the thing that makes this do that. And, and the idea of, you know, going in just getting information from another person, and that's how you can figure something out. It's interesting, because those people I was talking about who seem scared are usually in their 30s. Like, they're usually a little older, they have a kid already. And they're like, Oh, no, there's rules. Someone said this. And this is what we do. I don't know, I don't know what Dexcom or Omnipod, or any of the companies actually say about that. Like, I don't know, if they're kind of bound by the FDA to say you have to have training. Or if your doctor saying No, go ahead. Is the okay to do you don't mean like,

Unknown Speaker 30:49
Yeah,

Scott Benner 30:51
something that's really so you didn't have any trouble though?

Jordan 30:54
Well, when I started the Omnipod, I remember them telling me not to use the Omnipod without the Omnipod trainer, which I actually went to my endos office, and I got five pump classes from my diabetes educator. Okay, so I didn't get an actual Omni pod trainer. It was just five classes with my diabetes educator. And that's pretty much the classes that I needed. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 31:23
That's cool. And you don't run any trouble. You weren't like, oh, gosh, this all went incredibly wrong. You weren't bleeding on the floor. It just all. Just like, you weren't bleeding out yelling, I should have waited for the trainer.

Jordan 31:36
No, thank God, that didn't happen.

Scott Benner 31:39
I actually don't think that could happen. But no, but that's just, uh, it's just, it's I like that. I like the idea of It's okay, so how have you found pumping versus shots.

Jordan 31:50
Um, I love it. I love the fact that I don't really, I'm not really aware of me getting insulin at all times of the day. It's just sort of how I used to be, you know, I didn't really have to think about it. Obviously, when I eat, it's a different story, I'll have to Pre-Bolus and all that. But it's nice to know that I'm getting insulin at all times a day,

Scott Benner 32:14
without having to stop and calculate and react and stuff like that. Right? I think you're just an interesting, you're just an interesting person to speak with. Because you're right in that sweet spot age wise to be able to easily accept technology. And you're just recently diagnosed, you don't know anything about the versions of diabetes that have come before pens. Right. You know, no CGM. You know, boiling your needles. Yeah. Boiling your Yeah. Just as a story to you, it's not a it's not a it's not a real part of this world. And do you feel like you understand your care?

Jordan 32:53
Yes, um, in the beginning, I was very, very, very scared. Obviously. I was worried. And I was like, Mom, like, you need to have me. You have to have my call. Like, I'm loud at all times. Like, I'm gonna call you if anything goes wrong. And obviously, she was like, Oh, yeah, definitely Call me if you need anything. And she actually just couldn't, she couldn't even wait for me to get a CGM. She was like, wait, so there's something that you can get for it monitors your blood sugar. And you can let me know when you're in dangerous ranges. I'm like, Yeah, she's like, Oh, my God, you need to get that right away. So she was super excited when I got my dexcom just because she has access to my graph and stuff. So she can look at my blood sugar, she can check up on me. And she definitely just needed that reassurance that I am. Okay, I'm going to be okay.

Scott Benner 33:50
So it's telling, obviously, about diabetes that at 25 your mother still feels the same way as a parent of a three year old? Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, yes. Stay in the house. And we'll, we'll, I'll just live here until it's over. Right.

Unknown Speaker 34:07
Right. There's no reason to leave.

Jordan 34:09
Right. I actually live in an apartment with my boyfriend. And we're actually in the same unit as my parents. So my parents are just upstairs. If I were to be anywhere else, I think my parents would be more worried about me, you know, because I'm just downstairs they can walk downstairs and I'm right there.

Scott Benner 34:29
Yeah. What borrow a hole through the floor and just jump in real quick if

Unknown Speaker 34:33
there you go. Yep.

Scott Benner 34:35
That's interesting. Hey, that. So you, you you moved out, but basically,

Unknown Speaker 34:41
that basically did it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:44
That's interesting. Yeah. How's the boyfriend taking the whole like, so did you live together when you were diagnosed?

Jordan 34:50
Yes, we did. We've lived together for about a year now. Gotcha. I'm a little over a year. I

Scott Benner 34:56
you know me like it. You know, like if you weren't living together He could have been like, Oh, what's that?

Unknown Speaker 35:02
Right? Yeah. I'll call you next week. And

Unknown Speaker 35:06
see you later.

Scott Benner 35:08
I'm assuming you're working more towards a more serious relationship if you're if you're together and living together, and yeah, do you have a feeling for how it impacted him at all?

Jordan 35:18
Yeah, he was very, very, very scared. I know for a fact, he saw me in the hospital and was like, wow, this is really an eye opener for me. And he was really, he was really great. took care of me. He would ask me what I can eat and what I can, what I feel comfortable with eating and he would make sure that I feel as comfortable as possible at all times. It's great. Um, even his parents came to visit me at the hospital. His parents are lovely. And they even provided support for me. So he was absolutely great.

Scott Benner 35:56
They tried it. They didn't like pull him aside and go, Hey, could we get one with a pancreas? That works? Great. Nice. Yeah. I've, I've heard stories before of there have been people on here who, who know that their partner's parents tried to dissuade them from being with them when they die.

Jordan 36:13
That is just so crazy to me. Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:15
And and vice versa, by the way, also just great stories like yours, where everybody's just like, it'll be okay. Well, I'll do it together. Like that kind of thing. Right. But yeah, it's definitely, uh, yeah, it's a mixed bag of the of the responses, you get that I would have to say more of positive than negative, to be perfectly honest. But yeah, still, it threw me off when the first time someone said that. It was like, wait a minute, your mother in law told your husband not to marry you? Yeah. That's crazy. Doesn't she know, that's the opposite of how that works. Your kids always do the opposite of they should have said I'm all for this. It'll be great. Okay. So, and I mean, go ahead. No, no, you.

Jordan 36:55
And I mean, I did have thoughts of me, obviously, I want to have kids, right. And I had thoughts of me ended up having a baby, and what the chances are of them, having diabetes and all of that stuff. And I asked my endo about it, she's like, Look, it's not promised that your kid's gonna have diabetes. And I wouldn't worry at this point. So I would come home. And I'd be like, oh, what if my kid's gonna have diabetes, I don't want my kid to go through this. And my wife was just like, just chill out. If we do have a child that has diabetes, you'll know how to take care of him. Just think about it that way, him or her? So just think about it that way. And I was like, You know what? You're right. I mean, I guess I will know how to take care of them.

Scott Benner 37:41
The perspective is interesting, because, and I referenced him a lot, because on this issue, because it really struck me when he said it, but as a former baseball player who's actually currently with the Phillies, as a manager, or coach, Sam fold, he's been on the show a couple of times said, Yeah, type one his whole life. And I asked him about that he's got four kids. And you could tell him his response, that the vibe of his response was, I'm fine. They'd be fine, too. Like, I live like, I'm a person, I live a life. This is me, there's nothing wrong with me, why would I care if that was them? And it was almost as if he was saying, and this is me inferring from his answer, but I felt like he was saying, to say that I wouldn't want you know, obviously, I don't want anybody to have any kind of roadblocks they don't need in life, but to say that I wouldn't have a kid because I didn't want that child to maybe have diabetes is like saying my life's not valid. Right? Right. And, and I was really touched by that when he said, I don't know that I went into it then. Because I was a little like, Sam folds on the podcast a little excited. But I know him much better now. And I just I go over that a lot. And I think that that I think that you shouldn't have a kid if you have diabetes until that's your answer. Because right i think that it may say more about how you feel about yourself than it would about I don't know maybe I'm wrong, but it's an interesting thing to think about.

Jordan 39:12
I definitely agree with you. I don't think you should have a child if you are thinking the worst for your child, you know, yeah, I think you should always be positive and always think your child is gonna end up better than you even ended up you know what I mean? So

Scott Benner 39:30
yeah, and I do think seriously for your for your own like idea of self confidence and what you think of yourself to them if you can, if you can't imagine a child that is a an image of you and feel good about that. I feel like that might be more about how you feel about what's going on with you than it is about the kid you know, so Exactly. I think you should find find a way to to, to see that that other way to see yourself in a way that is redeemable and worthy. worthy of being you know, photocopied and going on into the world. Right? Yeah, that's all. I just I never thought of having babies photocopying yourself until just now. Do people even photocopy anymore? Is that almost gone?

Unknown Speaker 40:13
It might be

Scott Benner 40:14
like, gosh, okay, so you live in weatherwise? Are you dead?

Jordan 40:19
No, no, no, my dog. Boy. Sorry.

Scott Benner 40:22
Sorry. I didn't know if I should stop the recording. I didn't want to be a witness to anything. Get me out of a court battle right now if the boyfriend just you know, came in the room and watch over the headless. Oh, crap. Let me get out of this. You live in one of the worst places in the world for weather in my opinion. So I got ya. Why did they put Why did they put that city so close to that ocean? I think it's a bad idea. What how close? How close are you to Boston Harbor in that in that part of the

Jordan 40:51
so to Boston, it takes about two hours to get to Boston. So I'm not anywhere near the ocean. But our winters are absolutely awful

Unknown Speaker 41:01
to heart. Terrible.

Scott Benner 41:02
No. My son was in Boston years ago working out in January for he was recruiting for baseball. And it rained all day. It was a horrendous day of rain, right? I mean, we got done. It was an indoor event. Obviously, we kept going back to our hotel. There's inches of water flowing across the ground. And you know, he's exhausted from his day and we go back up to the hotel room and he's like, I'm gonna take a shower, and then I'll just sit here for a little bit. I can get some to eat after that. Yeah, that's fine. So I'm talking to my wife while he's in the shower. And my wife's like, it's gonna snow where you are? And I'm like, No, it can't. Because there's two flowing inches of water on the ground. There's no way snow could and by the time I get off the phone with her, there's six inches of snow on the ground. And I was like, we live. This is the worst place in the world. This is.

Jordan 41:49
Yeah, that's definitely Massachusetts for you.

Scott Benner 41:52
Snow shouldn't be able to start forming on the ground when there's running water on the road. It's all on. Yeah. Something wrong with that. That whole thing should be a beach is what I'm saying.

Unknown Speaker 42:02
Yeah. Yep.

Scott Benner 42:04
Someone made a huge mistake building a building there for I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure it's lovely that people live there probably like Screw you. This is fantastic. But you cheated us out of the Super Bowl. So I hate you. But, but that's fine. I

Unknown Speaker 42:17
don't even I don't

Jordan 42:18
even not even a Patriots fan. I

Scott Benner 42:19
don't even care that much about that. It still sticks with me a little bit. So anyway. All right. Well, I think we've learned a lot about you. And I want to learn a lot about now kind of where you feel like you're headed. So so you're in it just in such an interesting time of your life for people to hear, I think for people with younger children, or maybe people who were diagnosed not in this kind of the sweetest spot of diabetes technology that we're in right now. So, right, you really don't feel any limitations. I mean, you said that you want to do something that's strenuous, and you know, you're gonna have a gun. So that's not like us. You're not like, Hey, I'll take a safe job. And I'll kind of step back from you know, the world a little bit. you've, you've seemed confident about the idea of having children. How are how is management going? So like, let's talk about that first. Are you honeymooning still by any chance?

Jordan 43:13
I am not.

Unknown Speaker 43:15
Did you know?

Jordan 43:16
I was Yeah. I was honeymooning for about a month. It was I would say it was like March. I was honeymooning. Um, but it was only for a very, very, very short time, fortunately. Okay.

Scott Benner 43:30
And so you've had you know, CGM, and and, and for about three months now or so. And do you base your management off that, like, how are you and I talking is one of the things you Google? Did it lead you to this?

Jordan 43:45
Um, I actually found you guys through Spotify. I listened to the podcast, or I listened to podcasts all the time.

I haven't listened to podcasts while I'm at work. I'm not supposed to. But

Scott Benner 43:59
that's fine. Doesn't matter. Right? It's gonna keep you out of your ears, right.

Jordan 44:06
There you go. So I was actually on Spotify. And me being newly diagnosed. I was like, you know, I'm gonna look to see if there's any diabetes podcasts. So I looked up that I found another podcast I didn't really like, I don't remember what it was called.

Scott Benner 44:23
If there's other diabetes by guests that you didn't like, please feel free to name it. Right. And I'm just kidding. No, yeah. Right. So but that's good. You found a couple and you listen through and you chose the one that was right for you. And yeah, that's it. And so what were you hoping to get out of it? Do you think when you started looking?

Jordan 44:38
Well, when I was newly diagnosed, I like I said, I didn't really have much knowledge about the whole diabetes thing. So I was like, I want to hear different stories I want to hear about if people went through the same thing that I did, or how people went about managing their diabetes. So I started looking You guys, and I think it was a story that a young girl was telling about her diagnosis. And I think it was either her her mom that was on the podcast. And I was like, Oh my god, like I can relate to some things they're talking about. And the information was just really helpful. Because I just didn't even know what to do.

Scott Benner 45:25
Right. So this podcast is now your YouTube video. Is that the vibe?

Jordan 45:29
Yeah, this podcast is definitely my go to podcast.

Scott Benner 45:33
I play but I assumed when you reached out, it was a softball question. I know, you're gonna say nice things. But no, I'm, that I'm joking about that. I am I yes, I am joking about that. I checked with myself to make sure I was joking about that. What I was, what I'm interested in is that idea that you can find, like what feels like big, really incredibly difficult to understand information that can seem smaller and digestible. If it's if it's delivered the right bite.

Unknown Speaker 46:03
Right, exactly.

Scott Benner 46:05
Right. And I'm glad that that's how it hit you because it is my intention. And you know, I don't always do what I need to do. So yeah, I guess in going on

Jordan 46:14
the going on the internet, you see all these big words that doctors use, and you don't really even know what they mean. So the internet just sort of scared me. And when I heard your podcast, you guys were just talking about everyday life. And you guys intertwined diabetes in it, you know what I mean? So I could understand you guys more than I could understand, understand the internet. So it was just sort of a comfort thing. I was like, Okay, this will be cool. I can listen to this, and I can get used to this whole diabetes thing.

Scott Benner 46:48
Is it exciting to think that you'll end up doing that for thousands of other people? By Yeah, very exciting. Yeah. I'm happy for you like you're like closing the loop. Or I shouldn't say that. You're coming full circle, I guess is the

Unknown Speaker 47:03
right. Yeah.

Scott Benner 47:06
I'm sorry. I'm as you're trying to talk about diabetes. There's four different people messaging me on different social media things about their stuff. And I'm like, it's vibrating under my leg to the point where I'm like, I should look maybe though, maybe there's a tornado coming and my phone is trying to tell me it's a turns out I don't live anywhere near where there's tornadoes, so it's fine.

Unknown Speaker 47:23
Yeah, you're from New Jersey, right? Yeah,

Scott Benner 47:25
there's really no tornadoes here. Cuz I'm okay. Yeah, good. Yeah, I'll be good. I just, you know, when your phone starts really buzzing, and you get that feeling like you're like, maybe something is happening. I should know. Yeah. I don't want to be the last one to know that the town's on fire. Right? I don't want to be the last one out of the town. It's probably just somebody disagreeing with me about something instead, you said this, and you're wrong.

Unknown Speaker 47:50
doing my best over here, it helped George a cut me a break. Right.

Scott Benner 47:54
Exactly. Well, no, I I'm, I think about your situation and how quickly you sort of matriculated through it. Because you're, you're in a really interesting spot right now, where you have stability in your life around diabetes, and it's and bigger ideas around your life in less than a year. Right. And that's incredibly exciting to me to think that you were able to go from feeling like a new person, which meant, you know, everything in my life is new and different and scary and raw, to be this comfortable person that you are now, eight months later. I'm just super excited for you about that.

Jordan 48:32
Thank you. Thank you, I appreciate that. And yeah, at the beginning, I definitely didn't think I would be at the point I am now. I definitely thought that I would mourn a little bit more than I did. And have some more grief. But I sort of with all the support that I had for my family. I felt as though I was going to be okay from the start. Obviously, I was sort of upset in the beginning. Obviously, I didn't want diabetes, but I had to take into consideration that this isn't going away ever. So I'm going to either have to deal with it, or I won't be living anymore. Right?

Scott Benner 49:13
Yeah. And I think that's actually an important step that concept of look this is here now. Right You know, I can't ignore it. I used to talk about it in the past about like, you know, getting a bill at the beginning of the month and right and not opening it That's stupid. Like it's

Unknown Speaker 49:29
Yeah, because it's still gonna be they're still

Scott Benner 49:30
in there like it you can't just ignore it like I mean you could could put like a deck of cards over top of it but it's still just the bill under a deck of cards. So Exactly. You just have to you have to just go Okay, this is it. I'll dive in. I'll make the best of it that I can and look and look what you did. You found so many good avenues for yourself that there wasn't a ton of bad and had you had you not look down those roads, you would have been stuck standing still imagining the worst Right. And that really is, I'll tell you, it's, I don't know if it sounds trite or Pollyanna or what, but I really think that worry is an incredible waste of imagination. Because you really are just making up things in your head when you're worrying. Yeah, you have no real not I mean, you know, like, like, don't get me wrong, you're in the room, there's zombies outside. It's fine. Go ahead and worry. But you know, don't sit in the world where there are no zombies and worry about when they're coming. Because, right, they're not real, you know. So it just is it happens to people. And I think some people are more genetically predisposed to that worry. And some people aren't, you know, as much. Yeah, I don't know if it breaks down gender lines, or if it breaks down age, or if your past experiences, I'm sure all these things have something to do with it. I know, I feel very, I have a real caregivers mentality, like I always had always had my whole life like I you know, it's just in a situation where my dad left my mom, when my brothers were little, my mom went to work, it was sort of my job, that kind of like in, you know, to me, like, you have that feeling of like, these people are counting on me. And yeah, and then you get married, you're like, oh, it'll all start over again. And then my wife and I had a situation where she just had a better job opportunity. So it's like, oh, I'll stay home with the baby. Oh, I'm still doing this caregiver thing. Like, you know, and now I, I feel like that towards the people listening to the podcast, which is, it's very fulfilling, and it's incredibly not fair. Some days, you know, like, there there are days when I when I'm talking to people that I don't know, because I can't really stand the idea of what happens if they don't get the information that they need. Right. So I it's my huge goal in mind that the podcast handle that. So I can just reach all those people without talking to them one at a time. Right? Because that's not going to be a valuable way for me to help anybody with IBS. things a little too long. And you're just get one when you're done, which is still incredibly It's amazing. Still, like, don't get me wrong, like the seat to talk to talk to somebody on a Wednesday, and have them send a graph that looks like a horror show. And then right on Friday morning, they're like, Oh, my God, everything's better. I'm like, Yeah, I mean, it's just started, but I know it feels better. I'm excited for you. And they're on a better path, then they're, they're sort of on their way, which is nice. Yeah. But I like the idea that it reached you like, even in such a crazy way, like Spotify. Like, I remember when the company that hosted my podcast is like you can get on Spotify. Now, if you want. I was like, I mean, do I care? And I was like, Alright, so like, there was a day that I spent doing stuff like back and stuff that you'll never know about the podcast, where I sat there and thought, I wonder if anybody will even listen this way. And like years later, I found you.

Jordan 52:55
It's very Yeah, very, I did. So excited. Definitely. It's definitely helped me just hearing all the stories and all of the advice

Scott Benner 53:05
that you guys sort of talked about, it's definitely very helpful. I'm so glad it's there anything that's gone horribly wrong, that you've learned from? Like, have you had any moments where you're like, wow, screwed that way up.

Jordan 53:18
I'm not really, um, I haven't really had a blood sugar that's gone above. Probably, like 300 300 definitely, like critical. Um, but obviously, me being new, I still get into the, like, low to hundreds. But I've haven't gotten to anywhere near 300, which is really, really good. And I'm still sort of I work out a lot. And I have a personal trainer. We do like CrossFit type workouts. So it's very hard for me to monitor my blood sugar and either do a Temp Basal rate, or if I'm lifting heavy weights, I actually don't do a Temp Basal rate at all because my blood sugar goes up. Yeah, so it was definitely hard in that aspect to get used to working out in different workouts do different things to my blood sugar, and so forth. So the deck schrems definitely helped me out with that. I guess.

Scott Benner 54:22
It would it would be very difficult without it for certain.

Unknown Speaker 54:25
Yes.

Scott Benner 54:26
Did you see just the other day we I put up an episode. It's a new pro tips episode about exercise.

Unknown Speaker 54:33
Oh, you did? I didn't even see it. Yeah. Okay,

Scott Benner 54:34
about all the things you were just talking about. And in way in depth with Jenny. So. Oh, awesome. I enjoy that. definitely

Unknown Speaker 54:40
have to listen to that one. Yeah.

Scott Benner 54:42
So what is um, so what sucks? I don't I didn't ask you if it was okay to if you don't want to share you. You absolutely can. But what does success look like? Like what is your agency you're shooting for? What kind of variability right with vigor, standard deviation, all that kind of stuff that Yeah,

Jordan 54:56
looking at? Well, when I was at the hospital, my age See, was that a 13.6? That's when I was in DK. Um, and then in, let's see, what did I see my endo? I think I saw my endo in June, early June. And my a one C was at a 6.4.

Scott Benner 55:17
Wow.

Jordan 55:18
Yeah, that's, that's, that's wonderful. So it was a huge turnaround. She looked at me and she was like, You don't know how good this is? I didn't really even like, know, because I didn't really know the whole concept of Avon see and what it should be what it shouldn't be. And she was just like, you cut your agency in half. And I was like, Okay, cool. And she was like, this is really really, really good, though. I was like, Okay, awesome. So I thought I was on the right track in managing it. Well, which I was.

Scott Benner 55:53
That's excellent. And then oh, what do you think the, like, if I told you, you can only give, I don't know, two or three ideas from the podcast to another person. What do you think you'd give them?

Unknown Speaker 56:07
Um,

Jordan 56:12
I mean, if I were to talk to someone with Type One Diabetes, actually, you know what? My college friend. She was a softball player. I was a lacrosse player in college. We were in the same year, same age. And we were very similar. I got along really well with her. And we stayed in touch after we left college. And she actually messaged me, I would say, two, three weeks after I was diagnosed, saying she was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes.

Scott Benner 56:47
That's random.

Jordan 56:49
Yeah. So weird. so crazy. But yeah, she was diagnosed. And I actually told her about this podcast. I was like, Do you listen to podcasts? She's like, No, I don't really listen to podcasts that often. And I was like, well, there's this one diabetes podcast that really helped me. So I told her about it. And I was like, they have doctors on the episode that talked about diabetes and advice and all that stuff. And I was like, they literally cover everything with life, diabetes, everything. And I told her, this podcast isn't really like a diabetes overload. You guys don't like, talk about diabetes, the whole hour of the episodes, you know what I mean? Like, you guys get off into different topics, and you know, sort of overload diabetes, you know,

Scott Benner 57:44
oh, I appreciate that. Because I, I was very early on in the beginning, I was like, how I mean, how could this like sustain? Like, like, how could How could I? I thought about myself, like, would I, I always kind of tell people, like you could have the secret of life. And if you if you tell it the wrong way, or your audio is bad, people won't listen, you know, they're gonna be like, I'm not listening through static to find out the secret to life. You know, I am not going to listen to you know, and, you know, I've got a couple reviews I think would disagree with me, but like inane banter that goes on forever, that's about nothing. You know, like, I think that this should be about something, it should be valuable. And it should be entertaining, and it should be light. Because, because I could sit down and have a different conversation with you right now. That's super serious. And I would, you know, I mean, I don't know how you'd get through six or seven minutes of that before you you know, as a person listening, you'd think I already live this life. I don't need to be right. I don't need to be hit with it. It'd be like if I was depressed, and I let somebody pour a cup of depression over my head, you know, like, I don't need more. Thank you got plenty right here. Right. I just think the way you described it, like I was hoping you might say like, Oh, I tell people like you know, better to stop below than be higher or something like that. But just your the way you characterize the show was so nice. I was like a little misty. I thought I I can't even speak about it that like if you asked me to describe the show to you. I wouldn't have done as such a complete and loving job is you did. I don't think I could speak about the podcast the way you just did.

Jordan 59:18
Well, I do love it. So I appreciate that.

Scott Benner 59:22
But yeah, so all right, we have a couple of minutes left. You're gonna be the perfect person to ask this question of, okay, I've never said this on the podcast before it comes up in my personal life all the time. And I'm and whoever wrote the review that called me both egotistical and elitist. That hurt. I don't feel elitist at all. I do feel a little egotistical sometimes. But

Jordan 59:46
everybody can. Yeah,

Scott Benner 59:47
I guess I okay. But fair enough. It's someone's feelings. But I'm trying to make a fun thing here for a second. So, in my private life, when I speak to people who listen to the podcast privately, they are Often starstruck in a way that trust me, completely baffles me. Because I don't obviously see that about myself in any way. Right? It baffles more my family. So if I'm on the phone with someone, and you can kind of hear their voice come through, I look over and my wife's eyes have rolled straight up the back of her head. They're down by her ass now they've rolled so far around, you know, and, and she's just like, why are people excited to talk to you? Like, I don't know, just let them have their feelings. You know? So are you. Is it exciting to be on this podcast?

Jordan 1:00:39
Oh, yeah, it's definitely exciting. When we first began the call, it was kind of weird. Like you saying my name, you know, like you talking to me? Because I usually hear you talking to other people. I usually listen to you saying other people's names. But now that you're talking to me, it's like a whole new story.

Scott Benner 1:00:58
It's it's very interesting to me, like you should be on my side of it. Where I'm like, sad for you that you feel that? No, I'm not sad. It's very nice. First of all, but But um, do you in your personal life ever speak to me out loud?

Jordan 1:01:13
I'm not really know, I think

Scott Benner 1:01:16
that shows real stability. Because a lot of people say I talked to you in my living room or in my car. And I'm thinking, I don't know that that's something you'd want to be sharing with other people. But

Jordan 1:01:26
But I understand yours. I mean, I just love listening. I don't know there's something about like your voice that's like calming, you know. Thank you. Um, so I do like listening to you. Do you

Scott Benner 1:01:40
think I think you have a lot of helpful things? Do you think I'm working too hard on this diabetes thing? Should I be doing one of those? Um, soothing podcasts instead? What are those called? Do you know what they're called?

Jordan 1:01:50
Yeah, the I know, you're talking about, um, like the relaxation

Scott Benner 1:01:54
capital word for it, though. Hold on, we're going to get we've got Google, you figured out how to use it in some time. I can't figure out what this is. All right. Come on. How is it not? It's like, Are people listening right now are like idiots this,

Jordan 1:02:09
but yeah, I don't. I know. I can't even think of it.

Scott Benner 1:02:13
This is so absurd. We had a real nice moment here. Like, I saw a person on television the other day, and it was their job. Oh, my God, it's right. It's right on the tip of my tongue. It's not an S. Oh, my God, this is terrible. msnbc came up and I typed that mess. That's not helpful. Google. Help Jesus. Figure it out. My kids would know. Because they're Yeah. Right. But I could maybe do that. I could maybe just be like one of those people. It's like, Jordan, it's time to go to bed. Close your dream. Breathe deeply. Well, those things get mad downloads. And then I don't have to know anything about diabetes to do those. Oh, yeah. So you've, it's really super interesting to me, because this podcast has been up since the beginning the very beginning of 2015. And we're talking now in the middle of 2019. And when you refer to the podcast, you say you guys, so do you think do you think of Jenny, when you're saying that? Are you thinking of like a royal? Like we like the idea of like an entity on the other side of your earbuds? How did you think I sort of

Jordan 1:03:25
Yeah, I sort of think of you and Gemini as like a Power Team. Because I do listen to those a lot just because I do want to hear her insight. Of course, just because I'm so new. So I definitely want to hear like a doctor's perspective of everything that I'm thinking about. But obviously, I still want to hear you talking with her and you relating actual real life to the medical field. So

Scott Benner 1:03:51
I have this soothing voice, by the way, just for clarity, right? I know you mean this, but Jenny is a certified diabetes educator. She's not a doctor. Okay. Yeah. And she's, you know, she has diabetes has had it for a very long time. She's a certified nutritionist. She's got a whole bunch of things. She's like, you know, went to school for Yeah, that's sort of like my diabetes educator. She's a nutritionist. She has cooking classes at the Medical Center I go to and stuff. So that's cool. Exactly. Like my diabetes educator, my heart. I'm so happy that I met Jenny because she and I think about diabetes. So similarly, but yet when we speak about it, the words are all different. And so I think we're a really good blend. You know, when we

Unknown Speaker 1:04:33
Yeah, you guys definitely are.

Scott Benner 1:04:34
Yep. I appreciate that. I appreciate so much about this. That it's, uh, it wouldn't be it would take me another hour to tell you exactly how much I appreciate it. But uh,

Jordan 1:04:44
Oh, my God. I appreciate being on here. So,

Scott Benner 1:04:47
thank you. If we say appreciate one more time, we'll have to name the podcast. No, Jordan Scott. Appreciate each other. And Jenny, right. All right. So we're done. Now. I'm so I don't want to curse because I'd like to try to leave this in. But I'm so pissed that I can't think of the word for I know you'll think about it later today and it'll come up but

Unknown Speaker 1:05:11
doesn't help us now. Join me now right now

Scott Benner 1:05:14
we're recording this is what's real. The real world doesn't exist when this microphone goes off. Okay, because no one can hear it. Damn it. No joking about that. So I'll tell you. I'm gonna give a minute. Yeah, very cool. Arden met Tom Holland this past weekend. Oh my god. Super excited. Arden was 15 year old Arden who lobbied her orthodontist to get her braces off three weeks early so that she can meet Tom Holland without her brace My God. Got that accomplished. decided that the ombre she had from when she was little made her look young went back had the had the fake color, stripped out of her hair to go back to her natural color was, you know, three or four times went back and forth. I'm just gonna wear a spider man shirt. No, I'm gonna wear a nice outfit. I want to look good. My picture one of the fat. I mean, all right. She goes, I might have to have her come on and tell us she will never I can never get her to come on the podcast, but maybe she would love that. I asked her and she's like, No, she did consider She's a friend who has type one. And I think maybe he wants to do it with her sometime. So maybe I'll just maybe one day I'll put them in front of microphones and and let them talk to each other. I won't even be in the room. We'll see what happens. There you go. But but so she goes in she's got this big plan. Now keep clear that there are thousands of girls my daughter's age at this thing. Who I believe all think that with the 30 seconds they're going to have with Tom has their pictures taken. He will marry them. Right right. Like I believe that teenage girl I'm pretty sure they all are like she's told me recently still. It's been days. She's like, I got Russia now. They're so fast. It's unfair to Tom he won't know how great I am. And he didn't get to know me and I was like, yeah, so she goes in with this big plan. She wants to she wants to tell him that her and her friend who are there have a bet that they'd like her to be able to remember his name from the time the pictures taken two hours later when they'll get to meet him for like a signature and autograph on this picture. And so Arden gets her friend goes first does like some like handshake the Tom Holland does that. He had perfected my daughter's like I was gonna try the handshake can't do that. Now. So to now Arden's like she's reached. She's got I'll tell him definitely tell him about the bat. She gets so starstruck, just doesn't come out. And she starts telling you about like, my friend, I have a bet that you can remember our names, and he's like, Oh, I'm not gonna be able to remember your name. And she's like, well, then as the security people, they she's already taking the photo, or shoving her through to the other side, because poor guys gonna be taking pictures for you know, ever. she yells. Remember that? I'm a diabetic.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:51
Oh, that she gets outside. And she goes, awesome. Why did I say that?

Scott Benner 1:07:58
And I said, I don't know. Why did you say that? Just I was just trying to say something I thought would be memorable for the next time I saw him. Oh, the whole day. She's just like, why did I say that? But not that she cares that she has diabetes? She said, She's just like, why didn't I just say like, my name were anything.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:15
Right? I bet he'll remember her though.

Scott Benner 1:08:17
Well, then she so made herself uncomfortable about it through the rest of the day, that when she went to get the signature, I'm like, are you gonna say hey, I'm the crazy person who yelled, I'm a diabetic.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:27
I'm the crazy diabetic. And

Scott Benner 1:08:29
she goes, You know, I don't think it's gonna be good. If I remind him of that. I was like, probably not. They're probably looking for you right now to kick you out of here, you know. And so she just kind of quietly went by. And she's like, the worst part of this is that because I was busy, like, trying to remember what to say, I didn't hug him. And I was like, Oh, so she's getting her autograph. And he's like, Hey, where are you from? And she's telling him and everything. And he's like, well, thanks for calling. And I don't know what else they said. And then she just goes, can I get a hug? And? And he's like, Yeah, sure. And he like, gets up and leans over the table and hugs her. And then we got outside of the thing. And I looked at it as like, she's gonna be happy for like a year. Like she was thrilled to see Spider Man. It's hard. Oh,

Jordan 1:09:09
my God. Yeah. That is so cool.

Scott Benner 1:09:13
It was But anyway, if you need people to remember you, and you just want to scream at them. I'm a diabetic. Maybe that will.

Jordan 1:09:20
Yeah, I will remember that. And it's new to me, too. So it's like, it's new news to me. So I'm just gonna yell it out.

Scott Benner 1:09:27
You'll be super, super excited. I just was so in the end, I'm telling you the story because I just it was it was just I was very proud that whatever my wife and I have done over the last couple of years, that she wasn't in any way, like, obstructed by saying out loud in front of what really was throngs of people. I have diabetes. Like she just she was not put off by it at all. And I just hope, I hope, I hope most people can live like that, like in a way Yeah. They're just not right. You know, they're not. They're not ashamed.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:03
So right,

Scott Benner 1:10:04
Jordan, I thank you very much. I am going to jump in the shower, and then come back and record an episode with Jenny.

Jordan 1:10:12
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Really

Scott Benner 1:10:15
appreciate you being on Take care.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:17
Take care. Nice to meet you as well.

Scott Benner 1:10:22
Hey, huge thanks to Jordan for coming on the show and doing such a great job telling her story. Thanks also to Dexcom and Omni pod for sponsoring this episode of the Juicebox Podcast, please go to my omnipod.com forward slash juice box. And dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to learn more about the sponsors. Also, a s m r is what I was thinking of just a few moments ago in the recording. It stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. And there are these recordings mostly on YouTube, where people either whisper or like scratch their nails on things like I don't know all about it. But I'm telling you, it's huge. But I'm not whispering into this microphone. I think it would just be weird if I was like,

Unknown Speaker 1:11:20
Oh,

Scott Benner 1:11:26
I'd like you to relax so you can sleep? I don't think that would be a good use of my time. Or should I be like a deep voice? ASMR? No, that's how it works. I can't just be like, hello, how are anyway, obviously I wouldn't know what to say. This has gone on long enough, don't you think? Anyway, ASMR is what I was trying to think of. It's sort of meaningless, but you know.

Okay, that's all I got for you. It's now 1145. And I need to go to sleep. I genuinely Hope you enjoyed this episode of the podcast as much as I enjoyed making it, I really had a good time talking to Jordan. Thank you so much for listening to the show. And if you're still listening now you must be a huge fan. So this is why I put this information right here. I've launched a webpage called juice box docs.com. It's juicebox D o c s juicebox docs.com. The goal of that is to create a list of endocrinologist and diabetes educators, people who listeners of the show are using it and a lot of trying to put together a list of agile, smart, tech friendly, savvy juicebox friendly kinds of doctors because I get a lot of requests from people about you know a doctor in this area or this area. So if you've got one of those great Doc's send me an email with all the information so go to juicebox Doc's dot com First, see the information I'm looking for. Click on the link, send me your doc, and we'll put them in but only if they're great. They come great. If they're not great. We don't want to share interesting and if you need a great doctor, endocrinologist, certified diabetes educator etc. Check out juicebox Doc's calm. Also, I want to thank Alan, who told me that when I'm talking about diabetes, pro tip calm. Sometimes it sounds like there's an S on the end and there's not. He's diabetes pro tip calm. That's a webpage where all the diabetes pro tip episodes are collected in one place for easy listening and sharing. Thank you very much Alan for sending me that note. Everybody, have a great day. I will see you soon.


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#337 Over the Moon Pie

Scott Benner

Kayla has made a few changes!

Kayla has taken quite a journey with type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends welcome to episode. Oh, I don't know what episode this is. Yeah, I know already. Hello friends welcome to Episode 337 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter and touched by type one. Please take a moment to go to the links right here in your podcast players notes, or I've made them available at Juicebox Podcast comm for this episode anyway, go to those links check out the sponsors touched by type one is a wonderful organization supporting people with type one diabetes. And the Contour Next One blood glucose meter is absolutely without a doubt, no BS the best, easiest to carry easiest to use, most accurate blood glucose meter Arden has ever had. And if you go to Contour Next one.com there's a little thing at the top, I think it's yellow, you click on it to see if you're eligible for an absolutely free meter right now. Contour Next one.com touched by type one.org. If I tell you that today's episode is about one woman's journey through type one diabetes, it's too simple of a statement. And if I tell you more on that I'm gonna have to explain the whole episode to you. So I'm stuck. What do I say to get you to listen to this? Huh? No, no, it's good. tell you that much. Kayla has come a long way in a relatively short amount of time. Well, that's not true. It's been a long time. But the journey we're, you know what? I got Corona, brain and Corona hair, you should see it. It's like a football. But I don't want to discount this episode because it really is a wonderful story. So I'm going to leave it to you. And of course, I'll remind you that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making changes to your medical plan for becoming bold with insulin. And now the end of the tune.

Kayla McBride 2:36
Hello, I'm Kayla McBride.

Scott Benner 2:40
Why don't you jump right in with your whole name. They're excellent. Okay. So Kayla's has not gone into some long drawn out like I'm Kayla McBride. And this is my story because Kayla and I have a history and email history that goes back into 2017. And it is Kayla, is it July still? Yes, right? Yes, it is July 2019. Right now. So many of you write me. I don't know if you understand how it goes or not. But you write me I see your emails piling up and piling up. And then one day I just put aside hours and I sit down and I answer everyone's emails. It's the best way I've come up with so far, which it's not good. It's just the best I can do. And a lot of us have correspondents that go back and forth. I am normally the I'm not usually the long part of the conversation. I'm usually like, that's great. Good job. This is cool. Keep writing like that kind of person because it's just a lot of writing for me. But we thought for this episode, we do something a little different. So I'm actually going to read Kayla's first note. And then we're going to start talking and then we're going to kind of go through the emails together and and see where Kayla has ended up because it's such a long kind of process. Okay, he'll ready.

Kayla McBride 3:57
Yeah, ready.

Scott Benner 3:59
So you you wrote in early December 2017. And you subject your email your subject line for email was I finally have hope with T one day. He said First of all, I want to thank you for all that you do for the diabetes community, which was very nice. You didn't have to do that. This month is my 10th anniversary with type one was amazing, right? Most, right. I mean, 10 years at anything. Pretty impressive. But then you told me that most of the journey has not been a smooth one. This is when I started settling into my chair ago Okay, here we go kill to have a sad story like Pull yourself together and writer back right. I was diagnosed at 17 junior high school family decided to take a vacation. And then you had felt ill for a while. You'd recently had a small surgery. So you figured it was that and then it wasn't. And you know, you started blaming jetlag and anything you could but you're on this trip with your family. Start getting worse frequent urination, you say intense muscle cramps, shortness of breath, all this bad stuff. up in dkw in the hospital for six days.

Kayla McBride 5:02
Yep. in La Jolla, California.

Scott Benner 5:06
I mean, there's worse places, right?

Kayla McBride 5:08
I know. We were actually pulling away from that hospital and there was a huge banner out front that said number one and diabetes care and I was like, Well, okay.

Scott Benner 5:20
least I've made it to the number. Can you imagine if you pulled away and said number three and diabetes care, you'd be like, Huh, all right, I guess still not bad. Since then, I have struggled with finding a good endocrinologist that lasted longer than a couple of years. My first endo I love this one would offer advice like eating a sandwich every night before going to bed to keep your blood sugar from plummeting. Yeah, he, that's a great one, how much? I'm trying to imagine how much weight I'd put on if I ate a sandwich every night before I went to bed. I'm I'm thinking probably more than I would want. And then you say, I didn't know anything about pumps, I couldn't recommend them. You did some research about pumps while you were in college. Got an omni pod. You said that helped keep better control throughout the craziness of college. And they said unfortunately, I was like, oh, there was like two sentences of upbeat as like here, we're gonna make it here comes the good part of Kayla's story. She beats the bad guy. And Nope. Unfortunately, a couple of years back, I had to switch back to MDI because I could no longer afford pumping. You're a college kid working in nonprofit and your MD, you went back to MDI and you said, You're a one CS, we're sitting at nine and that you were very frustrated by that. Now, here comes the good part. I started listening to the podcast a couple of months ago, and I immediately learned so much about how best to treat diabetes, but preventative action. Just obviously what we're talking about here, stay fluid, be ahead of the problem, that kind of thing. I learned the importance of the diabetes community. It's excellent, and that I'm not alone. Most importantly, I've gained so much more confidence in my treatment plan. A month ago, I decided to give the dexcom CGM a try. It's been such a lifesaver. I went to my endocrinologist appointment today and found out that my agency after a month of this Dexcom thing 7.1 I can't wait to see what maybe once he's gonna be at my next appointment. After I have months of data, being able to direct my blood sugar's where I want, etc. Blah, blah, blah. I could go on for days, Kayla. I write Kayla back in true form with tiny bullet points saying well, your diagnosis suck. People who ever written me are like, yeah, this is how this guy gets back. There we go. What you've done with your perspective, not to mention your agency is amazing. gratulations I hope we can keep in touch. And I would kind of like to know what your next day one says. So let's kind of start there. Tell me a little bit more about the diagnosis and then meeting this first anchor ologists endocrinologist. Excuse me, that wasn't so great.

Kayla McBride 7:45
Well, um, as the letter kind of said, I'd had a tonsillectomy earlier in 2007. And so going into not feeling well and everything. I just thought I was still recovering from that. As you get older, it takes longer to heal from the tonsillectomy. So I was like, okay, maybe this is gonna take a few months. Um, but it was about six months of just not feeling great. And then we just, we had this huge trip planned to San Diego, where we were going to see SeaWorld and go to the zoo and, you know, actually eat with shampoo at SeaWorld and all this stuff. And I just always wanted to go. And so we catch a flight, and I knew on the flight there that something wasn't right. And I told my mom even before then I said, you know, I'm not feeling too great. And she's like, well, as soon as we get home, we're gonna get everything tested. So let's just get through this trip. And so on the fly like I get up five or six times ago, there were extra, my feet were tingling the entire time. And I was like, What is going on? And so we're tingling? Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Scott Benner 8:55
I figured if I did this long enough, somebody would say my feet were dangling and you were the one good.

Kayla McBride 9:00
Um, and so we get to California and the whole trip was just, it was great, but it was also miserable. Like, we went to the zoo, and I had to ride the bus around the zoo, we couldn't walk because I was thought of breath the whole time. We went to the dinner with shampoo and I couldn't eat anything because I was so nauseous so I just ate fruit you know, because you're like, Oh, that's the more natural thing to eat. But is that just that didn't stay down very long and I remember we went to one like Mexican restaurant while we were there and I had seven glasses of sprite because you're like, when my when I'm nauseous. You have sprite like that's how I was raised. Like you have sprite and crackers and that's easy on the stomach. But you know, now that I know it was type one diabetes, but I was trying to fight that was probably the worst I could do. So we even get went to the ghiradelli Chocolate Factory the day before I was diagnosed. We were like, let's just split a big thing, so we get a big treat. And so the day before we were supposed to drive cross country back to Tennessee from California, and I basically fell out in the bathroom. And my stepdad pulled me out of the bathroom and made, you know, next thing I know, there's like 10 paramedics in the room, of course, I'm unconscious, lightly. In all of this, I ended up. I was in a coma for half a day after this, but, um, they said that even when he would try and like my stepdad would try and pull down my shirt that I would like fight him. Even though I was pretty much out of it. Um, but ended up in DK and I was in the ICU at lokoja. Hospital

Scott Benner 10:52
for six days.

Kayla McBride 10:54
And, yeah, it's a really exciting vacation.

Scott Benner 10:58
They tell you what your blood sugar was when you were in DK because it's I mean, your description at the very end is, I think indicative of you were probably pretty much at the end of being alive there.

Kayla McBride 11:10
Yeah, they said my organs were shutting down and you know, my whole family said you were just cold and clammy, we didn't know what was going to happen. And they said I was a 12 which I I know I've heard a lot higher, but you know, by anyone see what the 12 is all that? I know. I don't know an actual butcher.

Scott Benner 11:30
Yeah, that's really scary. And probably when you look at the story, you probably really needed to go to the hospital back at the Tingley feet Park. And you powered through you must have really wanted to go on that vacation. Hey, you know what, I have to ask you what shampoo a good cook or do you not remember?

It was like a buffet style. Oh, you

went to shampoos house and they cook. She cooked for you? That's not what happened. I see. I got you. Alright, fine. Well, that's terrible. Hey, Kayla, congratulations on being alive. Being sounds like you were right there. No knocking on Heaven's Door. As they say. I'm happy that you did not drop dead. Congratulations. But that was really just the beginning for you. Right, like so now you're you're diagnosed. And you're still a high school student. Right. Not fun. When you're back in Tennessee now. No longer in the number one type Ed center in the hallway. Right. And you meet. So you meet? I guess let me let me just ask a little bit. Was this during the summer?

Kayla McBride 12:41
No, it was during the school year. So I was it was actually December 2007. When I was diagnosed. I was in the hospital during like New Year's. This is like a Christmas trip for you guys.

Unknown Speaker 12:51
Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh.

Scott Benner 12:53
Now I feel bad. Because I know how hard it is to take a family on a vacation. It just it really seriously. Did you notice by the way, everyone's diagnosed on vacations, fat, it's fast. Yeah. Okay. So you're back in Tennessee. And you're going going to school? So 10 years ago? Is that a meme? Assuming they just gave you like, was it pins or needles? or What did you get to start with?

Kayla McBride 13:19
Yeah, it's just syringes and the glass file. And so, you know, of course, in high school, I was like, Oh, she's going to shoot up before lunch. And my English teacher at the time was, had this little side room that was kind of his office. He was like, you can just step in there before lunch every day. And you know, do your thing. So it was, it was really nice. Yeah,

Scott Benner 13:43
yeah. Assuming about like the 13th. Time for the shutup comments. You're like, I gotta move away from here one day. So did you not find? Did you not find high school to troubling with diabetes? or How did you find it?

Kayla McBride 14:00
Well, it was kind of towards my end of my high school journey. But I think in that letter, I said junior year, but it's actually my senior year. December my senior year, so I mean, I had six months and then I was having to go to college. So

Scott Benner 14:16
our whole relationships based on a lie that's in the second sentence first. I'm sorry, I have to call this short, but by no. So okay, that was actually your senior year. Just went back finished up your senior year and then jumped into into college. Doesn't sound any now that sounds worse to me. I thought at least you had a nice a year to get sort of accustomed to things. But you just finished up the last half of your senior year. And we're right away. How far away was college? Did you have to was it far from home?

Kayla McBride 14:47
I stayed in town and I'm so glad that I did choose that. Because I had already decided on Lipscomb University as my college which is in Nashville. I already decided that in My junior year so, um, so yeah, stayed in town I was close. So even though I'm sure wrecked my whole family to be like, you know, hope she stays alive hope she knows what she's doing. At least I was close.

Unknown Speaker 15:15
I know

Unknown Speaker 15:18
what did you know what you were doing?

Kayla McBride 15:21
So I, I really credit the Omni pod a lot for keeping me alive in college. So many times I was just like, Okay, I'm setting these alarms, and I'm not gonna worry about it until I hear one. And but I didn't have them in good parameters. I didn't. You know, like, it's just all the time, your time to check and see Oh, no,

Scott Benner 15:47
no, no, no, don't. So you're describing something that I think is, is probably now still and was more so years ago, just a common way of dealing with your diabetes. I've you know, they've given me these, I don't know, mathematical equations that tells me how much insulin and I get up in the morning I test my blood sugar. I give myself insulin I eat I wait a certain number of hours. I do it again. It's usually another mealtime by then this keeps happening. My blood sugar is never where I want it to be. But that's okay. I'll try again. And that's pretty much it. But I think what you were saying a moment ago was that by putting on an on the pod or having an insulin pump at all, at least you didn't have to draw a needle Are you skipping when you were doing MVI? Were there times? You're just like, I'm not giving myself insulin? like did you skip it?

Kayla McBride 16:37
Oh, yeah. And I would even do that with zombies. I would just I would skip meal doses and be like, Well, I have a drip going in, you know. So that's it won't be too bad.

Scott Benner 16:48
Okay, so Kayla, first of all, your story is fairly common. And I really appreciate you sharing it with everybody. So even with a pump on even when you hear me like, I'm doing my ads, and I'm like, you just push the button. It's so easy. You're like, Yeah, I just looked at that button. I was like, No thanks. Now, what stops you when you're wearing a pump? And it is just honestly as easy as pushing a button saying I would like you to give me insulin for 35, carbs and button. When it's that simple? What stops you from doing it? The Contour Next One blood glucose meter? Let's talk about it. How about it's tiny, but still easy to hold? How about it's got a little light on it. But that light is plenty bright enough. In the middle of the night, when you can't find your blood drop, just push the light look. But that's it just like that. It's very simple. Other things about that light that you might not know, is you sort of set you're not sort of that would be silly. How would you sort of set your Let's start over again, one of the other things about those lights that you don't know. But you could know if you went to Contour Next one.com and read about it is that you can set them for ranges. Right. So when you get a test, say like BB right and it's like 93 and 93 is in your range, the light will turn green. Oh, see what I'm saying? You don't yet. So it's just sort of this visual cue. This is where I mean to be this is above where I mean to be below where I mean to be a little something, but adds a lot of panache, and value. pump that panache is not valuable. Another thing you're going to love about the Contour. Next One is the app that goes along with it that you can use or not use totally up to you. Nobody's forcing you to use the app. But you can if you want and it's available for Android and iPhone, it'll help you plot those data points and make sense your blood sugars. And just from personal experience, I find the meter to be incredibly easy to handle. It's got a beautiful bright light for nighttime and the test strips beyond being accurate. super accurate. In fact, they're just easy to use, meaning I can touch the blood drop, knock it as much as I need and go back in and get more without wasting a test trip. So that's amazing. For certain I can tell you this little all the blood glucose meters pardon has ever had. This is my personal favorite. And hers is simple to use. It is handy. sleek, right? Hmm. Like a ski boat almost. You know when you look at I'm not into boats, but I've seen people look at both books. That's how I feel about the Contour Next One blog. Anyway, we've gotten off track. I think we all realize that now, Contour Next one.com top of the page, get a free Contour. Next One meter, click on that to see if you're eligible. And if you're not, it's a blood glucose meter. You have insurance and not really that expensive. So ask your doctor about it today. Get started with the meter that are done I really adore with that little bit of time you've now made for yourself in your life, right by not fumbling With your old meter or being like Angry attic because this thing's never right. Go to touched by type one.org. Take that new free time at New lightness in your soul. Go share it with other people. Or at least let them share their lightheartedness with you. Touched by type one.org is the place to go to watch people be lifted up, supported, and and watch them raise money. help find a cure for type one diabetes, touched by type one.org. Contour Next one.com links in your show notes, links at Juicebox podcast.com, Bada bing bada boom, let's find the answer out to the question I just asked Caleb, before the very end really roll into our story. This is an interesting episode. I'll tell you why at the end of this little like the way it is right here. Right? It just trickles out to the end. I guess if I didn't talk, are you able to hear about it? Anyway, what I liked about this interview most is that I was doing a lot of reading in the very beginning reading the email, which I didn't realize at the time made me feel uncomfortable. I really do like the podcast to be free flowing. But kailyn I get through the emails and a little bit. And the conversation kind of sinks in a little more, she's more comfortable. I'm back into my groove. And this this episode is interesting. It takes on two kind of life's lives, definitely lives not life's, life's would be completely incorrect. This episode takes on kind of two different lives. What I say kind of this episode takes on two different lives. And you're about to see the transition. Well, hopefully you'll see it. Anyway, I've now talked meaninglessly for a minute and probably skip through this. But back to the show. I love you guys, thanks for listening. When it's that simple, what stops you from doing it?

Kayla McBride 21:51
At the time, I was still with that first endocrinologist. And I honestly did not feel knowledgeable about type one D at all. And I did not really know how to accurately dose and I was really scared of the insulin, honestly. So I said, Well, at least I know, I know, I have a little bit in me. And if it gets too high, I can just bump it down with a whole lot and be ready to catch it at the bottom.

Scott Benner 22:18
Did you? Did your doctor ever say something to Ben, you don't? You've never said this in your emails. But I'm just wondering, has anyone ever said to you back then better high than low?

Kayla McBride 22:30
I think they were always really scared of the lows, but they weren't even, they would just say you just need to do better. Like that's what I kept hearing was, you need to take care of yourself better. And I was like, I don't know what that means.

Scott Benner 22:42
Of course, by the way, too, when you're just introduced into diabetes when you're in your senior year of high school, not your junior year of high school, but in your senior year of high school, right when this is your introduction, and then you know you're graduating and then boom off to college. You need to do better from a person who is not telling you what that means. Or, or how to get to that spot. In a world where I mean, let's be honest, if like you need an Advil for something and it says every six hours, How frequently do you really take your Advil every six hours? Right? Like you take it and you feel a little better and then you forget again, it's um it's actually one of the biggest problems that prescribing physicians have with medications is that it's just human nature you start to feel better or you don't feel badly whichever, you know, whichever it is and that just doesn't make you think to take the medication again. A huge problem in the world of people with antidepressants, ironically is they begin out you know, sometimes depressed, they take they are anti depressant, they stop feeling depressed and the minute they stop feeling depressed they go I leave that medicine anymore. I'm not depressed never connecting the line between I'm not depressed anymore maybe because I took the medication and it's just it's very common. So I don't want you and you know you don't need me telling you but you shouldn't feel bad about this like this is no different than if I put a six year old in the car and told him to drive across the country you know and then they ran into a tree at the end of my driveway me yelling up going What are you doing? You gotta do better. I mean think of how ridiculous that is. You know? So you're going along in in this kind of loop of just you know, a test when I can I test when I think about it I don't want to be low I'm scared of being low. What happened? Did you have a bad low that that threw you off? Or was it just the fear someone put into you I

Kayla McBride 24:39
honestly didn't have too many bad lows.

And even in like I've been able to catch them all there was one incident as the day after Thanksgiving one year. I want to say it was like 2013 or something. And that I I fell out in the hallway with a low blood sugar and they had to do Like the jail and I ended up going to the hospital, but I didn't remember any of that. But

Scott Benner 25:08
that's the good thing about it. Yeah, you don't really remember any of it. And by the way, I took me two usages of the phrase fell out to realize that you were saying passed out, but I'm a local colloquialism I imagined

Unknown Speaker 25:20
I guess

Scott Benner 25:22
that's so if I told you I passed out, would you know that I meant fell out? Yeah. Yeah. I say you people got your own little like country down there something I hear what's that? So that so even that's more interesting, right? Not a lot of bad lows, still afraid. And that's just the message, right? That people get so often, like, be afraid be afraid the insulins gonna kill you. I'm like, Yeah, the insolent not having it's gonna kill me to like, what is the it's it's just a strange, you know, I feel like I repeat myself sometimes, but such a strange idea to decide, well, I'd rather die tomorrow than today. You're still dead? Like, what's the difference? And so you know, like, why not take a shot at living healthy here? Like, why is that not the message coming from the doctor? Like, look, this insulin can be dangerous if you use it incorrectly. Let's learn together how but it sounds like your doctor really didn't even know how to tell you to use it correctly and given them credit, where it's due 10 years ago, in those CGM, right, like it's not like, you know, not like anybody had ever seen anybody's buzzers. Everybody was really just working on this, like test weight test again, theory. The problem is, is that standing here today in 2019, that's still the advice a lot of people get. Hmm, that sucks. So you find the podcast, what's the first thing that strikes you? That makes you think, oh, wow, maybe there's a different way?

Kayla McBride 26:43
Well, when I found it, I was on MDI, I was off the Omni pod just because I couldn't afford it anymore. And I heard you talk a lot about the Dexcom, which I actually tried for a week in college, I tried the Dexcom out. But because I was so out of control, I was just overwhelmed. And it was one of those, you know, my that first endocrinologist was kind of if he didn't understand it, he didn't really want me to do it. So if you didn't understand the Omni pod, he didn't understand the Dexcom.

Scott Benner 27:16
I want to stop you for one second. I hope people understand that when another human being tells you, you need to figure this out. What they're really saying to you is I don't understand this either. I can't help you with it. So like, don't let don't let that pressure feel like that. Like understand that. If you had a better teacher, a better teacher wouldn't tell you. Hey, there's algebra, you go figure it out. And they would actually explain it to you. So yeah. So you tried it once saw your blood sugar's and thought to yourself, hey, this guy's right. I do need to take better care of myself. But I don't know how. So I'm gonna stop seeing my blood sugar now, and kind of got away from it.

Kayla McBride 27:51
Yeah. So when I started listening to your podcast, in 2017, it got me interested in the Dexcom again, and I knew that I needed a stronger control in my blood sugars, that I was only capturing that one window that I tested my sugars in. And so when I got the dex calm after I've listened to some of your episodes, I wasn't as intimidated. I was like, Okay, I know enough about myself. I've gotten myself through diabetes this far in life. You know, let's figure this out. So

Scott Benner 28:26
good for you. Yeah, that just that idea of like, I'm still alive. Now. Let me try to be alive. Better? If right,

Kayla McBride 28:32
let's feel better every day.

Scott Benner 28:34
And that really is not to be overlooked. Right, is that you did not feel well, most of your life. And in that in those years? Is that pretty accurate?

Kayla McBride 28:44
Right? Yeah. I just felt like there was, you know, not a whole lot of energy going on. And I kind of wonder if, if my whole college experience would be different. If I'd had better blood sugars in that time?

Scott Benner 28:56
I'm sure it would have been. Yeah, I'm sorry for you that's definitely can feel like something that's lost that you can't get back. But I don't think that's true. I just think that, you know, I mean, there's plenty of good things I've done in my life. I don't remember either. So don't worry about what happened past like, just, you know, move forward and keep doing what you're doing, I think. Okay, so, basically, that was a beautiful email that you sent me. I responded back, like I said, with bullet points. And, and even though I wonder, and so let me ask you, just very quickly, not to get too far away from your story. But when you send such a beautiful and thoughtful and well written letter, and you get back 53 words, do you on your end, do you think that guy must be busy? Or do you think Jeez, you could have given a little more to me here, buddy.

Kayla McBride 29:39
Well, I definitely know that you get a ton of emails. So I was just excited to get any response and the fact that you did take the time to, you know, talk to different parts of the letter like, Oh, that's really sweet. And you know, you're doing a whole lot

Scott Benner 29:53
to read them all. I just I hope everybody understands. It's just it becomes overwhelming at some point, but I really do read every one of them and Thank you. I was hoping that you didn't feel like you got, you know, shortchanged because I know so you did what we talked about and you wrote back again and now it's like, you know the end of June, early July in 2018. You're like, hey, Scott, I want to send you an update on my last six months. I was like excellent. Kayla's back. Kayla, who has a perfect name to be in country music is writing me again positive stuff first she says that see finally now she's everyone's starting to understand like, hey, let me just I'll throw the good stuff out and then ready the guy for the bad stuff. My ANC has continued to improve 6.4 in March of 2018. And now this month 6.1. I mean, that's stunning. You started at nine. These are numbers I never thought were possible. My thyroid medication is also decreasing. All this is amazing. I'm still having issues with dawn phenomenon. Nurse Practitioner said we might look into adding Metformin. I wonder if you talk to any type ones that have tried Metformin, and that you said not now, now that not so shiny points, I was like, it's funny, because even the positive stuff you were like, I might have to take that form. And that was positive, too. You said the diabetes, the diabetic dream is real. We should all receive free counseling for the mental and physical strain we have to endure. Today I went to my endo and got those even better results. But sometimes a break would be nice, a break from the planning ahead. The constant financial stress, the lack of sleep, etc. I've been in a slow Oh, excuse me, I've been in a slump of low energy tiredness, anxiety, wanting food conference then feeling guilty for them. I'm always a person to say snap out of it. I just having a little bit of a hard time this time around. So you know, I just thought I'd share the physical and mental stuff while buying continue. Baba, thank you. scaler. Right. And so Okay, let's see, that was June 28. I promptly responded back to Kayla five weeks later, because this is such a bad idea. Now I feel bad about this. And I said this a once the news is amazing. Congratulations. And then I said, Are you having any luck coming out of the burnout, which is basically because five weeks it passed? And I didn't know if you'd throw yourself out a window yet or not. And and then we don't talk again, really? In September, October, November, December. And so you know, okay. You. So let's talk about that point right there that spot in time. Diabetes, burnout, that's what people call it. Right? Well, but it's it's just, it's anything burnout, like, right, everything's like that anything you have to do frequently have to do daily becomes monotonous. And when you're doing it and doing it the best you can and it's not going your way. It's even more difficult, right? Because you're just, you're like, wait, I'm killing myself for this. It's not even working out. And But still, when it works out, it's still a lot of work. So I wondered if you couldn't talk about that a little bit like what it's like to do something day after day after day?

Kayla McBride 33:09
Well, I'll tell you, what's really helped me get through is sharing what I'm going through with others. And you talk about that all the time on here is the importance of community and knowing that you have support, but it's people realizing what exactly you have to go through. And you know, it's not just me asking, what are we going to have for lunch? But it's me asking, you know, what do I need to plan for? And so, that's really helped me a lot in turning my mindset around is having, you know, my family and friends that are closest to me at the time to ask, you know, how are you doing? How you're, how's everything going with your diabetes? How's your health? And then when I do explain to them, they kind of get it instead of kind of just going okay, okay, but not really understanding what all diabetes is, which I know it's a complicated topic. But

Scott Benner 34:05
do you think I should record an episode where I just speak to you like you're there, but you're not there. And then I leave long pauses of silence where you can answer out loud while you're driving in your car. Like, like if the podcast just started and I was like, Hey, how are you? It's so good to see you, then I don't talk for like 30 seconds while you're like I'm good. Scott, how have you been like, Oh, I'm great. And then there's a long pause. Because I could do that. For people who are, you know, not around others that understand their diabetes, or don't have a place to talk to other people. I have to tell you. One of the things about this show that initially surprised me was feedback like that, like the idea that I don't know another person with type one. There are no conversations about diabetes in my life, and listening to other people talk about is is really helpful to me. I did not I mean, I guess I expected a little bit but not to the level that you and other people have described. So you did you how did you engage those people? Did you actually go to somebody like your mom and say, Look, I need to talk about this sometimes, or I need you to be interested in it? Or did you just start doing it? How did you get that rolling?

Kayla McBride 35:09
Well, dexcom helps a lot, because I tend to wear my my arms. And so people ask that question, what is that? And then you can go into what type one diabetes. And you know, they may say, Well, I have a friend that has type one, or type two or whatever. But then you can kind of roll from there and say, you know, this test my blood sugar every five minutes, it helps me kind of see what's going on throughout the day, and how to plan for what's coming next. And so it is really more of a preventative fare than I had before. You know,

Scott Benner 35:43
so your gears acting as an icebreaker? Yeah. Okay. That's interesting, because there are as many people I've heard from as many people who think I hate when somebody sees my pomp or my CGM, and they start talking to me about what is this? And now you're giving me the exact opposite, like so that even that is just perspective and the way you react? Because you could take an opportunity when somebody's like, Hey, what's that to say? This is what it is. And and then maybe you'd find the sort of connection that Kayla found as well, just the ability to meet a person and talk about diabetes for a second, like it's a normal thing, because it really is a normal thing. But not to everyone. And so, you're left on your end feeling like, well, geez, it's not normal to them, so I won't bring it up, or, or this makes me different. But they have stuff that is normal for them that you don't have, but they don't think of it as making them different. Isn't it weird? Like, you know, if I was a, I don't know, like, if I liked photography, and you didn't, I wouldn't think oh, gosh, I should hide my photography, because it makes me different. It's just you should celebrate your differences, right? Like, it's, I mean, that's got to be a T shirt that that already exists. And so there's a good reason for it. Because it's important to do, it is important to look at yourself and say, This is me. There's nothing wrong with any of this. And no reason not to tell somebody about it. That's right. That's really excellent. Are your is your family more involved than they were in the past?

Kayla McBride 37:14
Yes, they are. And I think a lot of it was, you know, I had six months, kind of under the roof, and then I was gone to college. And so they didn't really see that struggle, and me trying to learn how to function and with this disease, and so I think it took me getting to Dexcom and sharing my better a one sees with them. And then they would ask questions. And then last year, my mom and sister went to the jdrf conference with me. And it just like, ramp them up. They were so excited.

Scott Benner 37:52
Excellent. That's so cool. Because then they see all those other people who were, you know, living your central your life. And and it's I don't know what, I don't know what that does. But it certainly does something because I felt it as well. I've been to big conferences, and there is an energy that's, you know, unmistakable. is very cool that they did that with you. Okay, so, six months after my that's an amazing Good job, though. Sorry. You're right back again. And now it's January of 2019. Hello, Scott, I hope you're doing well. It took some tough talks with my doctor, but I finally had some luck figuring out what's self care, I need to stay positively motivated. In the midst of my daily health. I have started Weight Watchers to help with my accountability in what I'm eating, and to encourage me to keep moving. That's excellent. And that's also just another look at planning, right? Like I was thinking about when you're saying it earlier, like you have to plan for your insulin plan for when you're going to put on your pump, that sort of thing. In eating is the same thing. Like I people say it all the time. Like if I know what I'm going to have I'm okay. It's when I roll into the kitchen hungry, that I get into trouble. You know, so little planning ahead. You switched up, let's say would you do you heard in the mornings, I switched it up with either yoga or Tai Chi along with walks throughout the day. Due to my dawn phenomenon, I found that less intense workouts are best for me. So I'm not battling an even more intense spike in the morning. So you were getting up in the morning seeing higher blood sugars than doing a tough workout which was probably spiking up your adrenaline other things your blood sugar was going up. Right? Which I'm assuming felt like a mixed message to you because you were doing something healthy and having an unhealthy response.

Kayla McBride 39:38
Yes, and it would help my blood sugars the rest of the part of the day but that morning was such a struggle.

Scott Benner 39:45
Cool. So you just step back it sounds like to me thought about it and said okay, obviously the the exercise is helping me throughout the day but what could I do right now to stop this one spike? Geez Kayla, you have in the in the In the span of about a year and a half gone from like, a everything sucks to like figuring out like to figuring out all these things. It's an amazing turnaround for you like that you must be jacked up like you have to be walking on Sundays like, Kayla is killing it. And and I don't know if you talk to yourself in the mirror or not. But if you do that, that's what I would say. Okay, so hold on, I found out less tense workouts. Oh, a new a one seagull. You've reached a new agency back in January 2019 5.7. Wow, you said it was unreal to you. I think it's unreal to me too. Stunning. Like, I mean, you started at a nine. And you were and you were like, just looking at the button on your on your on the pocket? Yeah, yeah, I'll just eat. And and now you're looking at you. You went from and now I'll just eat yoga, tai chi, you know, five, seven. You're there like a success story, unlike anything else, except that it's not unlike anything else. Because this is one I hope everyone's listening. One of many, many, many, many emails that follow this path that I have. So the point is, it's really possible for anybody, you know, what genuinely is? Well, congratulations, first of all, that's amazing. What did it feel like? Like, what's it feel like to wake up 18 months later and feel like you're having a completely different life?

Kayla McBride 41:27
It's, it's still surreal that, you know, I'm able to get this control. Because for so long, I just felt like, Oh, you know, some people were able to do that, but not me. But the more I see, the better blood sugar is and the better I feel and the more energy I have. And it just makes me want to do more. So actually, a week ago, I got the intent. So no longer a mile note, just MDX flex pins. And now I'm in pin. And that's been even more of a change and more helpful. So

Scott Benner 42:00
that's amazing. Because yesterday, companion medical, who makes the MSN contacted me about maybe becoming an advertiser on the podcast. That's crazy. I hadn't really heard from them much at all, since they were on, like a long time ago. But did you hear about them on the podcast?

Kayla McBride 42:16
Yes, I did.

Scott Benner 42:18
Okay. All right. I think I think we're finding a tone to our conversation here. This is this is very cool. So now you have you're in you're using a pen. Now that's talking to your Dexcom Data Explorer a little bit to me how it works,

Kayla McBride 42:35
though it doesn't do

on the actual internet itself. It only shows you your blood sugar from blood sugar from three hours ago. So it's not like you can look at your impairment and see your current blood sugars. But whenever you go and enter in, if you're about to eat, or if you need to do correction or anything, then that's when you can go in and do the calculator. And it compares your current blood sugar to what you're about to eat to the carbs you're about to intake. So that's

Scott Benner 43:07
pretty that's pretty out. And it has been really awesome so far. Yeah, it's it's when I you know, it's funny. I had, I had them on originally. Because the gentlemen one of the creators of the pen was a person who started I started knowing them through Dexcom. They were they work at Dexcom. And so I felt comfortable when they wanted to come on because I thought okay, it's a person who knows what they're talking about, like their goal for this for the product. You know, I think it's worth talking to them about it, even though we don't use it. So because it you know, it's a little weird for me if I don't if I haven't used it to talk about it. It's hard for me sometimes. But with that connection, and I knew where it was coming from it made sense to me. It's just so cool to know that it's working for you. And I'm sure others too, but that's just uh, that's really cool. Good for you. Look at this. It's fine. Yeah, it's really been good for you. And tell him what you pay for the podcast. Tell everybody. That's right. It's absolutely 100% Okay, so I went to the jdrf conference last week told as many people as I could about the podcast, thank you. It's helping so many people tackle confidence difficulties. My friend's mom's actually just decided to get a dexcom she was diagnosed type one later in life. She's got a severe fear of lows. told her to listen to the podcast and start target range. Oh, yeah. Like that's excellent. I mean, is there really no better advice but the next column then where to set your range? You know, like, how much it helps you with you want a little bit about other stuff. Very cool. Now, this is about the time I say to you, Kayla, I love getting your emails. And by the way, I emailed you back the same day that time, which just means that somehow Kayla emailed me on the day that I was answering you So just really congratulatory about your path, and stuff like that. Because, you know, honestly, it's, it's phenomenal. I went back and I read through those emails, and I was like, This is absolutely astonishing. And it's why I want to talk about this on the podcast today, at some point in there, over the next couple of days, I forced you to come on the show. I said, would you would you want to come on the podcast? And you said yes. Which is terrific. So now we're sort of through our emails and to, to present day, so to put my email away, because I hate reading long delay this. I'm bad at it, first of all. And I and I just need to ask you, if you were going to, you know, it's so simple to say go find yourself two years ago, or 10 years ago or whatever. But if you if you found somebody today who was in your situation, what do you think you would tell them, like, take the podcast out of it, take everything else out of if I put you in charge of helping that other person, you become me, and somebody else becomes you? What do you what do you say to them?

Kayla McBride 46:10
First of all, I tell them to make sure that everyone around you knows what you're going through, and they can help you in the good times and the bad times that support is going to be everything that I think that would be the cop thing, whether it's you know, joining jdrf

doing, you know, the different breakout groups with that, or

there is an awesome one here in town party like a diabetic and she helps out you know, people that are kind of the middle age he Wendy's and how they can manage the carbs and you know, still go out and have some fun every now and again, but still manage their blood sugars and be smart with their diabetes. So it's the support groups are everything.

Scott Benner 47:00
The idea that it's not all or nothing right, that you don't have to be perfect. Or just give everything away and forget it. Right. Right. There is a there's absolutely a balance. And you might not always I mean, listen, you just your ANC is stunning right now, right? Do you know what it is? Right now? Because you've probably had it done again, since you wrote me last?

Kayla McBride 47:20
And 6.1 was the last one.

Scott Benner 47:22
See, that's great to hear that you were five, seven years? six, one, did you feel any difference between five, seven and six? One?

Kayla McBride 47:28
Not really? No,

Scott Benner 47:29
you shouldn't. Because it's the same thing. And you know what I mean? Like, it's just it's a really great eight one seat. And that's another thing I see people do that I feel badly about. If you if you know, if you have a whatever point seven this time, and next time, it's a point four, you're like, Oh, great, I'm, you know, did better. But if it goes to the point eight next time, I mean, honestly, 6.8 6.4 6.7? What is there really that much of a difference? You know, like, to me what that says is, what I'm doing is working. But there's probably something in there, if I really want to tighten it down, there's probably something in there. I'm missing because I'm moving around a little bit, because I can tell you that Arden say once he just basically doesn't move anymore. You know, it's I tell people it's been between five, two and six, two for the past five years. And it has, but even the five two, I don't know, like what happened there. You know, I mean, like, That was amazing. But she's just generally right at 5556 like it since and the reasoning for that is the tools and using the same tools every day. And so it stands to reason that the outcomes would be the same. You know what I mean? Don't change the tools, the outcomes don't change too much. That's the place you're looking for, like this spot where you just do what you do. And you're okay. And you don't even have to worry about your agency. I don't even think if it wasn't for this podcast. I don't even know if I would even ask anymore. Because I'm that confident it's gonna be right where it is. You know what I mean? Like, it's just if you do the things you're supposed to do, it works. And and there's a there's a great relief in that because then you don't always think like, oh, gosh, am I doing the right thing? You just know, you just this repetitive action? And in my mind, that's planning. Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Cool. So okay, so support, right? Hundred percent for you. That was the most important thing, some sort of support somebody even and what does that mean, in real life? It doesn't always mean I'm imagining like that. You can go to your mom and be like, hey, everything's terrible. Is it? Is it just enough sometimes to be around a person who you know, understands?

Kayla McBride 49:35
Yes, for sure. My boyfriend RC we've been together for six years. And he is he's the one that I have my dexcom tethered to. And he is just really quick to say, Hey, are you snacking? Hey, are you filling the day? You know, anytime that he sees my blood sugar's being a little crazy. Or when we get home He's like, what happened this morning? You know, just things that He knows that there are other factors that go into it. And he doesn't do the freakout method. But he, you know, he's just really supportive about it. And my sister has been more in tune, and she just became a physical trainer. So she's been learning all the nutrition side of things, and she'll call me with random tips about, have you tried this? You know what, you should do this and see what your blood sugar does. And you know, so she's been really fascinated to learn more as well. So

Scott Benner 50:27
that's excellent. I think that it's it's important that to say to people that when that support you're looking at, like, really listen to what she's saying, like, it's not like they came along, and they were like, Hey, you should change your basal insulin. Like, it's not that specific. It's just like, how are things I saw blah, blah, blah? And then and you don't get defensive about it. You're just like, No, you know, I wasn't, or do you do ever? Like, do you ever hear back from them and think, alright, not today. Shut up.

Unknown Speaker 50:55
So,

Kayla McBride 50:56
before I tethered my Dexcom, to our C's phone and his technology, I had to have a talk with them, like, Look, you're gonna see some crazy blood sugars every now and again. And I kind of said, You can't freak out every time you have to trust me that I know what I'm doing. I mean, I'd like for you to still check in and say, Hey, how's it going, but don't immediately call 911? If, um, you know, have a high for a little bit of time, give me give me a little bit of faith that, give it down? You know?

Scott Benner 51:27
Yeah. That's excellent. Let's see. So you set some parameters and some expectations? Yeah, for sure. Do you follow them? Yeah, sounds like a good guy.

Kayla McBride 51:37
So now every time I get a good a one, say, my parents are like, good job, and RC Good job, too.

Scott Benner 51:44
I don't like RC getting prefer thing. But I mean, it's, that's, that's amazing. It really is a spectacular story, just you know, find one person now what do I do? What do I do if I can't find a person? What do I do if my life does not include people who I'm close to or that understand not to freak out? And that kind of thing? is online another way to go?

Kayla McBride 52:10
Yeah, or I mean, this podcast is a huge connection to Hey, I'm not the only one dealing with this struggle. And here's how other people are overcoming it. And it's been a big outlet for me as well.

Scott Benner 52:24
And you understand, I hope that I asked, because I don't have diabetes. So I don't know what you're talking about right now. What do you mean, like, I don't understand the thing that you're explaining. I mean, I understand that because you're explaining it really well. But I don't, I can't internalize it. Like I can talk more about the management stuff, because I understand it better. The rest of this podcast is just me wondering out loud trying to figure out what to tell my daughter one day. So I mean, seriously, you guys are helping me way more than I'm helping you. But I mean, you're not charging me either. So we're all good. We're just here for free doing a thing together. But it really is different from me. Like, I don't know, your account the conversation you and I are having right now. Besides, it's besides the fact that it's going to be incredibly helpful for the people who are listening. It's going to help me, but not today. It'll help me when my daughter goes to college or you know, when she's an adult, and she needs somebody to talk to but how much do I talk to her like, these conversations are going to be what rings in my head when I'm trying to help her. So I fooled you guys, this is all for me. And you're just it's just lucky that it's working out for you too. Okay, so RC, not named after the soda. I imagine.

Kayla McBride 53:38
We tell people that are like boxy like the cola. I would

Scott Benner 53:40
absolutely tell people that he's part of the RC cola family. And that, you know, he said he's a soda magnate. Maybe, you know, that sort of thing. All right. Well,

Kayla McBride 53:52
of course then they call me moon pie.

Scott Benner 53:54
Hey, wait a minute why Sadia?

Kayla McBride 53:57
If you go to any like, you know, small town here in Tennessee, or just I think in the south, you'll see there's these little country stores and they have RC cola and moon pie. stuff everywhere. So moon pies come Have you ever had a moon pie? Heard of one?

Scott Benner 54:12
I know what it is. I've not had one. Okay.

Kayla McBride 54:13
Okay. So yeah, so they apparently they go good together. I haven't tried it myself. But.

Scott Benner 54:19
So you NRC go well together. So you are moving by? Yeah. I like it. Okay. You guys should steal one of the signs out of one of the stores one time. stealing things isn't good. Nevermind. I shouldn't say that. Are you using the podcast mostly as community at this point, or are we still saying things at times that you're like, ooh, good idea. I'll try that. Yeah.

Kayla McBride 54:45
I really enjoyed it. I think the shade the shade episode you put up recently.

Unknown Speaker 54:53
I loved

Scott Benner 54:55
under the shade bus with Maddie.

Kayla McBride 54:57
Yes, it was awesome. And I love this app. thiness against Medtronic and

Scott Benner 55:04
should be nicer to people and caramel. And stop trying to take everybody's money and give them back stuff that only works. And

Kayla McBride 55:11
I was like, oh, get it

Scott Benner 55:12
much harder. Would you have to try just to do a good job? Think of it that

Unknown Speaker 55:15
Oh, right. True. Very true.

Scott Benner 55:19
Yeah, Maddie was terrific. I really enjoyed her a lot. And you guys are? Yeah, you're not similar in age. Really? I mean, you're, you're a decade out of almost a decade out of college. Right. And she's in college right now. So

Kayla McBride 55:31
yeah, but I still see myself as a lot younger.

Scott Benner 55:35
Do you know? So I want to ask you, we're about 10 minutes left. And so I want to ask you a couple other questions. So you alluded a couple of times in your notes, that your weight was a struggle for you. Yeah, and has, the improvements you've made with your blood sugar's led to any difference or change there that you can see,

Kayla McBride 55:57
I'm not really but I think the confidence that I can do different activities now, now that my blood sugar's are under control. And I can, you know, do harder workouts, and I have a lot more confidence in what my body is able to do. And that helped me feel stronger. So I think my main focus is just to be healthier, and not to focus so much on that number, which is, it's hard. But

Scott Benner 56:23
we can I ask you back when you were diagnosed? Would you have considered your weight? Not where you wanted it, then?

Kayla McBride 56:32
Well, not when I was diagnosed, because I'd lost 40 pounds. But prior to that, I guess.

Um, yeah, my weight has always been an issue.

And I've always felt a little heavier than everybody. But

I figure as long as you're focusing on your health and doing the best you can. And that's, you know, that's still a good thing, for sure.

Scott Benner 56:57
So I'm wondering if any of the sort of, I don't wanna say lessons, but the things that you've learned over the last year or so with your type one, Does any of it translate to that? Or have you not considered it that way yet? Because it's interesting, like, you know, I said before, that the planning aspect of dieting is very similar to the planning aspect of keeping your blood sugar where you want it. And I was wondering if like now that you have found, like, sort of this rhythm with your diabetes, if there was a way to translate some of those ideas, to, you know, your other goals, I guess?

Kayla McBride 57:35
Yeah, I think it made me more confident to try different things. And because I have found that rhythm with my diabetes, it's not as big a struggle to add on other things, like trying a different diet or trying, you know, a different routine is not as complicated or overwhelming, because I know that I can do my diabetes. Well, now,

Scott Benner 58:02
see, that's really interesting, isn't it to that, when you're having multiple struggles on multiple fronts, the, it really just feels hopeless. You know, and so now you found hope in one spot, and it makes you feel like, okay, that doesn't need as much focus, I can shift some of the energy I have left and some of the focus I have left to this other place. Right. And it's huge, because you're an adult, you're going to work, you know, you mean, like you get up and like thinking about your life, you go to work, you have diabetes, but you'd like to, you know, exercise and do things like that. Rc is taking up your time I can hear it. And, and and you know, you've got a relationship with your sister relationship with your parents, you know, all these different things. And they're only 24 hours a day, and you're asleep rate of them. So you know what I mean? I've 16 hours to accomplish all those things. Eight of them, I'm working now I'm down to eight left. I'm tired, I have to make myself dinner. And they're like, Where is the time to tackle a new thing? Because you can't ignore the diabetes completely. Right? You're always with that.

Unknown Speaker 59:05
Right?

Scott Benner 59:07
It's very, it's it's important to get the diabetes thing, that piece in check. So that it it creates more space for you in other places.

Kayla McBride 59:17
Yeah, it's so much less of a burden when you actually feel like you know what you're handling

Scott Benner 59:23
and it is completely completely understandable when you don't have those tools. So you know, when you take yourself back 10 years ago to two it's completely understandable that you wouldn't have anything left for anything else that just the the struggling with diabetes, and then feeling bad about it. And then like you said to being tired, worn down. I'm sure you were probably foggy and didn't realize that you said you know, I wish I wonder what it would have been like to go to college, you know, with blood sugar's that were more stable. You really there's nothing left. And then and then and then every three months you go to a doctor, you're like you have to help me and they're like, Yeah, do better. Huh, Wow, thank you. Appreciate it. I didn't, I didn't think of that. Well, thank God, you're here. Oh my gosh, what a horrible merry go round. If you easily could get caught on it. Yeah, that's terrible. It really is. I'm very happy to say

Kayla McBride 1:00:20
that I have a much better endocrinologist now, and I got them midway through college, and it's at Vanderbilt. So they're, you know, one of the top diabetes places around here. And they're very encouraging anything new that I throw at them? They say, yeah, let's try it. And, you know, so that made a huge difference.

Scott Benner 1:00:43
That's excellent. And so what you're saying is you you at some point said to them, Hey, I found a podcast, I'm gonna try some other stuff now. And they were supportive of it. Yeah. What was the try to think the question here? What kind of reaction did you get in the office? When you had such a drastic decrease? In a one say, like, do they just act like? I like I'm interested now, like, what happens to a person with a nine who comes in suddenly with a seven? Do you remember?

Kayla McBride 1:01:17
The nurse practitioner? She immediately was like, Are you having a lot of lows? You know, what's going on? How are you feeling? And I was like, Well, let me give you my, my dexcom data through the clarity app. And you can see how I've been doing. She was like, Oh, you know, just seeing how much more of a control that did have. And it wasn't just roller coaster.

Scott Benner 1:01:42
So that was it like that? It's the first thought, because how could someone go from a nine to a seven and three months, they must have had a bunch of lows. And now this number is just not accurate. And in their variability is off now once they look at the data and the data is proves to them? Hey, you really have like a legit seven? Like, what's that moment? Do you remember that moment? Because it's, I would think I'd be incredulous if I was a doctor, I just be like, What do I say? Like? Like, do I start thinking? Did I say something in the last appointment that made a two point change? Or a one see, like, Where did the conversation go? Do you recall?

Kayla McBride 1:02:17
Well, um, I told them that really, the big difference was having the decks calm and knowing what's going to happen and be able to prevent if anything goes is going to go crazy, up or down.

And

I think that was really just the the big point where they said, Okay, well, I guess we need to, I think they didn't know as much about the Dexcom as they wanted to. And so it kind of gave them an opportunity to learn as well. I did mention, you know, I listened to the Juicebox Podcast, and he really teaches us to be bold with our insulin. And so I kind of took that and ran with it. And you could tell they were a little hesitant. Just because I had been running higher, and now I'm running, you know, where I'm supposed to. They're just, again, it's that fear of, you know, let's make sure she's doing this in a healthy way.

Scott Benner 1:03:15
And so now you roll in later, with your five your fancy five day onesies, whatever. Do you just like, do you just float through the office now? Like, are you like the star person? Do you just like Hello, everyone, it's me. I am here again. So you can test my blood sugar. I will show you my five whatever a one c you'll send me your prescriptions and we'll leave like is it more of like a parade of Kayleigh going through the halls? Like Hello, everybody. Like, have you become famous there? What what what happens? Like what happens when you make that next leap? like are they just like, Okay, well, you don't need us anymore? Or what's the vibe?

Kayla McBride 1:03:50
They just are really encouraging. Thank you. No, this is incredible. You're doing an amazing job. And actually, my endocrinologist said, if you don't want to come back for six months, we can do that. And so that really felt good that he trusts me more with my care. And so I went back the next three months, and it was 6.2 or 6.1. Um, and then. And after that I made the call to go back every six months just because

Unknown Speaker 1:04:21
it's Well, yeah, yeah.

Kayla McBride 1:04:23
So that's the first one. Um, I didn't even know that was an option.

Scott Benner 1:04:27
How much is your copay? Do you know? I'm 5050. So yeah, we've cut out two visits a year at $50 apiece. Not only is this podcast free, it has made you $100 more. That's going to be the new thing. I tell people the podcast can make you money, right? It's a pyramid scheme with your copay something I'll figure out the details later. Now seriously, I can't tell you really. I always shudder to say that I'm proud of somebody because we don't know each other and it's reductive for me to tell you I'm proud of you. Cuz you don't need me to be proud of you. And it's not my place to be proud of you. But I'm incredibly proud of you. So I'm saying it anyway. I just really, oh my God, you're so well, it's, it's just, it's everything that I tried to tell people on the podcast, it just came true for you, you're in a me like, it's so doable with these little ideas. And and they really aren't. I mean, honestly, today, the amount of effort or worry that goes into your diabetes today versus two years ago. Describe the difference between those two.

Kayla McBride 1:05:38
I, I worry about it a lot less, and I have more of a routine with it. And I don't know, it just makes every day a lot simpler. It's not like this cloud looming over. It's more of like a Okay, let's do it. Let's tackle it.

Scott Benner 1:05:53
And what do you do on the days when it seems like too much? How do you Where do you go back to like, like, to start over again.

Kayla McBride 1:06:01
So there are still those days, and I have to, you know, take time for myself. So I'm RC leaves for work really early. So I use that time in the morning to work out and do my yoga and kind of had that time to reset for the day. And, um, you know, make sure I'm going to make good food choices during the day. And it's just kind of my mindset moment.

Scott Benner 1:06:23
Nice. That's excellent. Um, yoga, did you teach it to yourself? Did you go to a class? How did you figure it out?

Kayla McBride 1:06:28
No. So, um, when I worked at a music venue, back in the day, I did events for them. They had free yoga classes every Saturday. And so I did a few of those and found out that I really loved it. And I was a lot more flexible than I thought I was and, and so when I kind of got out on my own, I found that there was yoga with Adrian. It's like a free youtube channel. And it is awesome. And I mean, she puts up videos every week. And so you can follow along with that. And so I've kind of been doing that. And I've got her, she has her own app now. So you can follow videos on there, too. So

Scott Benner 1:07:10
that's so cool. And so I think what we're all learning right now, listening to you, is that you're proactive, right? Like you, you're just you. I mean, somebody offered a free yoga class on a Saturday, you're like, I'll try that. And yeah, like that. Sometimes that's all it takes is just a little like, oh, let me say, you know, like, me throw myself into that and see what happens. And if the yoga doesn't end up being it, then it's something else you keep moving. I mean, honestly, it really is like the the overarching theme of your story is that you just tried things like you try that Dexcom all the way back then. And just you said you were out of control, then it was overwhelming. But you tried it. You don't I mean, you easily could have just ignored it and thought no, not I won't you tried, you know, giving your boyfriend access to your data. And if it didn't work out, you could have just taken it back again. But at least you tried. Right? You know, it's excellent. I'm so excited for you. I really am over at the end here. And it feels like I should just tell you how excited I am for you. But yeah, I think that would be unnecessary. So I just want to ask you if there's anything that we didn't talk about that you were hoping to?

Kayla McBride 1:08:18
Well, I guess I was um, with Arden if she if she had junior or still sophomore what you're actually going to be up

Scott Benner 1:08:27
so she's a rising sophomore. So when she goes back when she goes back to school a month or social, she'll be in her second year of high school.

Kayla McBride 1:08:33
Okay, are you preparing her for what college is? how you handle it with college? And have you thought about that yet?

Scott Benner 1:08:41
I think Thank you get you Kayla bringing the table here for the podcast. Okay, hold on a second, Kayla, we're not done yet. Um, I think about this a lot. And, you know, I find that it's situational. And that there are these little incremental movements, like you know, how I thought about getting art in from elementary school to middle school, middle school to high school and all these little steps, right? Right now is a super interesting time. Because by the time Arden is in college or leaving for college, there will be multiple options for closed loop systems. Right? multiple, multiple options. And how much is that going to change things? Is, is what she needs to know going to be wildly different than than it is now? And I think the truth is, I think yes. And I also believe that closed loop systems are not as perfect as we're all hoping, you know, they mean like, they're not just going to it's not going to be this magical thing that you slap on your blood sugar just goes to 85 and stays there forever. It's not that right. But so I think that understanding how to manipulate the algorithm to Do what you want it to do, and to know when to leave it alone so that it can do what it wants to do. I think that's going to be the way of thinking about diabetes. For people who are using those systems. So much like the podcast is full of these like little like tools or you know, that that lead to your a one se and Arden's agency now, and everyone else listening, I believe there are going to be tools to, to that space, too. And I am currently trying very hard to figure out that so that I can talk about it with you guys. And so that I can pass it on to Arden, the things that artists are really going to need help with are the responsibility factors, you know, because right now we're doing this thing together. And so what do you do when someone's not with you all the time? You know, like when one thing we've really accomplished for art, and I think is that she doesn't really, like you talked about diabetes being like a smaller part of your day. It is such an incredibly small part of Arden's life, that it's possible, not that it's too small, but that it's that she just doesn't really understand the full impact of it some days, you know, I mean, because there's times that people step in and say something to her, or we get together and think oh, you know, look what happened here. I think that's the part like that's going to be the most difficult part is the transition from, I'm doing it with somebody to I'm doing it on my own. And I also wonder if it's really necessary, if it won't just find its way naturally, because it's not like what she and I are doing right now. can't continue to some degree or whatever degree she's comfortable with in college. Yeah, you know, like I would, this is not a brag, but I am at the point now, where if you just gave me your data, I could probably manage your diabetes, and I don't know you, it would take me a couple of hours to figure it out. And we'd be okay. And so I've done it remotely with other people, there are people listening right now who are like, oh, Scott followed my kids blood sugars for weeks. It's not something that I talked about a lot, because I don't have the bandwidth to do it for everybody who I imagined would want to do it. There have been some people who have had very significant cases. And I've been like, Okay, let me take a look. And I help them bump things around a little bit. But I can I can Bolus remotely like I have this thing. I don't know, at this point, I can kind of close my eyes and imagine what's going on. Like I sort of know what to do. And so I could keep doing that with her. I don't imagine she would want that. To me, like I'm trying to put myself in the space of a 19 year old art in the off at school. Like I don't know that she would want that. Maybe she would or maybe she'd want some version of it. So I don't know, I think we adjust as we go. We that's what we've been doing this whole time just making any small adjustments to how we handle things. And we course correct a lot. So I don't think it's going to be any different than that. But you might know better than me, you know, what would you? What would you want? If you if you had the opportunity for me to help you in college? Would you want that? Or would you not?

Kayla McBride 1:13:05
Um, to an extent, but I also want to know that I can handle it. And that, I mean, when I was in college, I didn't really share with anyone that I had type one. And I would hide my Omni pod. And so it was kind of a different mindset for me at the time. But I think for at an extent I do wish I've had some help. But I also wanted to know that I can handle it. And you know, what, if I decide to take a weekend trip with some girlfriends, then I can

know that I can handle myself and you know,

Scott Benner 1:13:42
yeah, it's it's so I have the perspective of a lot of different people. Because of this podcast again, it helps me way more than it helps you guys. I hope everybody knows that. But you know, there's a, I don't know, I don't know, I'm not I don't wanna give people's details away. But there's a junior in college somewhere in this country who I speak with on the regular. And they're having trouble right now with their basal rates. And they're waiting to talk about them with a parent. But this person's now going through a lot of lows. And a part of me wants to say to them, like you know what to do, like, you should just do it, you know, like, you don't need to go talk to your mom or dad first. But I know they know. And I know they'll get to that point at some at some point, but that they're on their path. You know what I mean? Like their process is taking the time that it's taking. Right? And so I get to see that person's experience. And I get to talk to a person who's 35 who has the luxury of looking back and saying I wish my parents were more involved. One of the things that sticks with me from one of the shows is that someone said I constantly was pushing my parents away, but I wish they would have stayed more involved. Like so that's like a parenting thing to me, right like what what happens when they Kid tells you, I don't need you. But you know they do.

Kayla McBride 1:15:02
Right when I was back to an extent as well,

Scott Benner 1:15:05
you know, so I see that part of it from those stories. And, you know, you see the stories of the people who are, you know, as you know, as having small problems with their eyes, or retinopathy or trigger finger and all the way up to people who have needed kidneys. And, and when I listen to their stories over and over again, if they started with diabetes at a younger age, they all have similar backgrounds of parents who were like, you'll be fine. Like, you know what you're doing, and they didn't, they all know that, like, in the back of their mind, they didn't know what they were doing. But to tell their parents No, no, I don't know what I'm doing felt like a letdown to the parents. So they sort of didn't say anything. So there's a balance between positivity and reality. Right? Like, like, it's nice to say you go get them killer, you can do it. But if they can't really do it, that's not a great message. Right? Right. So then, then the message needs to shift to I believe in you, I can help you. So I'll support you here. And I think you can put it into practice. And to be honest, I don't know who of all those people aren't going to be. So I just have to sort of stay fluid and wait for it to show itself and then keep adjusting. I don't really see parenting much differently than I see blood sugar's honestly, if that makes any sense at all. No. Now if I dropped that, she's she's screwed. I'm just kidding. No, but but I think I honestly there are times that I think like, what if I just like, you know, what if I did die, like, what would she do? And my, it's funny, the best thing that I can find myself hoping for is that she goes back to Episode One of this podcast and listened through it more because it works for other people. I think it would work for her too. So that's my backup plan. In the my backup plan is that if I don't find a way to be a decent parent through the transition, that maybe everyone else's stories will help her. I don't know. I feel like I've got my bases covered here. But maybe I don't

Kayla McBride 1:17:08
know. I hope she knows how lucky she is to have you and have you so in tune with her, you know, everyday struggle and whether it's good or bad, you know, you're very in tune and that's really awesome to have.

Scott Benner 1:17:22
She's my moon pie. Is that what you're saying?

Unknown Speaker 1:17:24
Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:17:26
What? What do you think about naming this episode? shambu can't cook.

Kayla McBride 1:17:32
Hey, you know that that works.

Scott Benner 1:17:36
All I thought in the back of my head for 35 minutes. Can I get away with calling this episode shambu? can't cook or am I the only person who thinks that's funny? I can't tell. I don't know. But what's something about Tennessee that I that I like Tennessee. What do we call this one? Can I call it the Great Smoky Mountains? Like what's the what's the thing? Hello, you don't have any idea? See?

Kayla McBride 1:18:03
Listen Music City.

Scott Benner 1:18:04
For all you people who give me trouble about what the podcast but it's not easy to come up with a title of a podcast episode. See, just like Kayla was like I asked her something about the place where she grew up and she's like, uh, see, I when I get the call whenever I want it shambu can't cook that's enough.

Kayla McBride 1:18:20
Well, Tennessee such a long state. It's almost like it's three different regions in three different states in one so like you have the Great Smoky Mountains to the east. And then you the middle is kind of known for Nashville Music City and then the West is Memphis and you know, it's a long flat state.

Unknown Speaker 1:18:38
Yeah. A lot going on. And that's

Scott Benner 1:18:40
not a good episode title long. That's not gonna work. All right, Kayla, I'm gonna say goodbye. Okay. Thank you so much for doing this.

Unknown Speaker 1:18:49
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:18:52
I want to thank Kayla for coming on the show and sharing her story with all of us. And while I'm at it, I want to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter and touched by type one. It's possible you'll be eligible for a free meter, go to Contour Next one.com to find out and of course, support or witness what touched by type one is doing at touched by type one.org.

The tools that Kayla spoke about in the show are part of the Juicebox Podcast. There's a series actually called diabetes pro tip. It begins at Episode 210. And they run not concurrently throughout the show, so some people have trouble finding them. Because of that, I launched a website, diabetes pro tip.com no s at the end, diabetes pro tip.com. If you're interested in seeing them all collected in one place, go there and check them out. But then of course you can listen right through your podcast player. You don't have to listen online, but you can. And if you're somebody who's been helped by those tips in the past, feel free as a matter of I feel more than free to share diabetes pro tip.com with a friend


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#335 From Isolated to Out

Scott Benner

Sarah has a story to tell!

Sarah has been living with type 1 diabetes for a long time. Her's is a story worth knowing. 

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello, everyone, welcome to Episode 335 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is with Sarah, Sarah wrote me a long time ago, this one's been a long time in the making back in 2018. She was talking about feeling burned out in isolation, and how she'd gotten through it. Sarah wanted to come on the show and share that story. And I thought that sounded terrific. So here she is. We're gonna get right to it. But before we do, please let me remind you that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician, before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. And know that this episode of the podcast is sponsored by touched by type one. And the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. You can find out more about the meter, including whether or not you're eligible for a free meter, right? At Contour Next one.com. And of course, everything happening with touch by type one starts at touched by type one.org. Please give them a look. All right. Here we go. This is Sarah.

Sarah 1:26
My name is Sarah and I live in the metro Atlanta area, Atlanta, Georgia in the United States. And I've had Type One Diabetes for 22 years since I was 12 years old. So I'm I'm 34. Now I'm married. I don't have any children. But I work with children and families. And so I'm a helper, I'm in a helping profession.

Scott Benner 1:51
Yeah. Okay, that's very cool. Listen, I want to say right off the bat, you were the first person I've recorded about 300 of these now, who is respected the fact that this is a global podcast and said, I live in the United States. And all the other people who are listening around the world are now like, finally, one person came on and didn't act like the United States was the only place in the world. I was very niphas supported by that. It was like, that's nice. Thank you, please, um, let's see, you. She, you didn't want to be on the podcast. Like there's some people who reach out to me and they're like, I want to come on the podcast, they feel very passionately about wanting to say something, some people reach out to say thank you or want to tell a story or something like that. But you reached out, I felt like you were just connecting and saying, you know, the podcast has been valuable to me. And thank you. And I turned it back to you. And I was like, You should come on. And I'm so sorry about that. First of all, no, no. And then you would written me a fairly lengthy but not long and heartfelt note. And then I responded back to you. And you responded back to me again, with more. And I was like, This woman's gonna be fantastic on the pocket. She is not at a loss for what to say. And you're so I was like, This is great. I guess I want to dig in a little bit because you have a long life with diabetes. And a lot kind of happened to you throughout that time. All stuff that I think people are gonna really resonate with. Why don't you tell me a little bit about the time you were diagnosed, although I always wonder that at this point, 20 some years later, do you remember much of it at all?

Sarah 3:23
I remember that. It was, it was an April. So my birthday was on the 14th. I got braces, the 17th and 23rd. I was in the hospital. I remember that the previous fall my mom had been. She was cautious. For some reason. I don't remember what it was about what she was observing about me that made her cautious. My grandmother, her mother had type two diabetes. And I remember that she had my mother had gotten my Granny's glucometer and checked my blood sugar. And and there was nothing to be alarmed about. But then that whole school year, there was this awareness sent her that something was off. She would often ask me, I mean, losing weight, and historically had been an overweight child. And I was in sixth grade that year. She was asking me, she could see what I was eating at the dinner table. So she'd asked me several times if I was going to the bathroom and throwing up after a meal.

And I you know, I wasn't

and I mean, I was excited to be thinner for the first time in my memory. And so I didn't see anything wrong with it. And she noticed one morning that we were in the bathroom before school, we were all kind of in you know in the bathroom together. I'd gone to the bathroom and she noticed that my urine smelled really strong. And so she called and made a doctor's appointment for that afternoon. And it I think it was a Wednesday. And I went, we went to the doctor, and they came back in the room and said, you have to go straight to the hospital. And so I had type one, I think I was in the hospital three days, they, I remember that my parents were anxious that this was going to be a really big problem, because I had always hated shots. This is 97 started with with insulin injections and syringes. They told my parents, they told me in the hospital, you have to learn how to do this by yourself. We won't let you leave the hospital until you know how to do this by yourself. what they meant was you have to learn to give the injections by yourself. And you need to know the basics of how to calculate dosages by yourself, right. And I I did you know i? i? They said I took to it. Like Okay, this is what I have to do. And that I did it. And I remember people being very affirming about that and just kind of this. Oh, wow, you're so young, and you're doing so well. And you can do it. You know, you can do it all by yourself. Wow. The only incident in the hospital that was kind of infuriating was that I had a nurse that got frustrated at the slowness at which I was injecting. And he took it he took the syringe out of my hand and just kind of stabbed my thigh and it hurt. And and my mom said, what do you do it and they told her she's got to learn how to by herself. And you did it exactly the way they told her not to do it.

Scott Benner 7:03
Right? You just need one bad apple right? Like in any in any walk of life and only takes one person to come through having a bad day or the job they shouldn't have or something like that. And you're

Sarah 7:15
having a bad day, you know? No. Well,

Scott Benner 7:17
you were to I don't know if you realize that. Sarah See, isn't it nice of you to think of him but you were having a bad day who you are a young child who had just been diagnosed with diabetes in the hospital trying to learn how to like give herself injection. So yeah, you know, I think as an adult, maybe he could have put his bad day aside and, and let you have yours, you know? Yeah, that's, that's, um, you know, it's interesting, as I realize your mom is like the Sherlock Holmes of diabetes, she just like literally sniffed it out. She's like, peas. Weird. We got to go. And but she was on you for a while, huh? She saw something. She wasn't sure quite what it was. But she was paying attention figuring out what was going on, which is beautiful. Did she have prior experience with diabetes that made her think? What was the weight loss? Just so drastic? It was hard not to wonder, do you think she was just hoping to get your diet from it? What do you think was?

Sarah 8:09
I think it's kind of a combination of variables in that she was familiar with type two through her mother. And her first cousin was diagnosed with type one, at about 12 years old. And the cousin is older than my mother. She remembers observing things and hearing stories about Sandra's diagnosis when she was growing up. I think then, in my mother's a very determined, inquisitive person, like even now, it you know, you say something to her about any number of topics. And she's gonna go look it up on the internet. Like, it's just that kind of person. And then she's going to come back and probably tell you a lot more stuff that you don't care to know. Like,

Unknown Speaker 9:05
it's a little overwhelming at times. Did you know she's like, did you

Scott Benner 9:09
know that? Yeah, I read that. Sarah, did you know? Yes, mom. I see we have a good thing we got to that computer.

Sarah 9:18
It's Yeah. So I think she's always had that kind of personality. And, you know, there are instances where that really pays off. Like, I have to know what this is. Yeah, by that point. My sister was born with some heart defects, and had already had open heart surgery at six. And then Jane was later diagnosed with dyslexia, and my mother's an educator. And so I mean, there were already instances where I think she had learned how to be attentive and persistent and finding any answer

Scott Benner 10:00
She's got other things going on their life too. First of all, let's take a minute for your mom, we should pour one out for her. She's got a kid with diabetes, a kid born with a heart defect, she was probably like, oh, my goodness, what if I just took these kids? You know, I don't know, to the mall, and then I left them there, then I'm back. I'll start over again. It's just very you. I mean, listen, it's tough. And I was just gonna say it, you said you don't have children. But there's this thing that happens when you're building a family. And I'm sure you've had thoughts about this on your own too, but you picture what it's going to be like, and it's not just limited to building a family, it's your life and things and jobs and everything love and you think about this is what it's gonna be. And then when it's not that it's, it really hits you hard. Sometimes, you know, you look across the street. And there's two kids running around in the yard and they don't seem to have a care in the world. You think, how did I, you know, how did this happen to us? It's overwhelming. And a person who pushes through that then is to be lauded, I think like you know it, because there are plenty of people who run into roadblocks like that and run away your mom just double down. She's like, okay, we'll take care of it. And she did her best with it, which I think is all any of us can ask to be perfectly honest. 12 years ago, or excuse me, 20 some years ago, 12 years old, you're 90, you said it was like 97? Did anyone talk to you about technology back then? And if they did, what did that conversation sound like?

Sarah 11:30
Um, no, I don't recall any conversation about technology, I think, at the time. And granted, we were we were living in a town of about 20,000 people four hours south of Atlanta. So there wasn't an endocrinologist in our town. Probably the first couple years of my life with diabetes. I just saw my family practitioner. Okay. And so technology was, you know, graduating to insulin pens, and shorter needle.

Scott Benner 12:08
Isn't that funny? That was a big deal at some point, right?

Sarah 12:11
Yeah. Um, and I don't.

Even once we started going to an endocrinologist in Atlanta, I don't really remember, a pump. Being part of the conversation, I don't remember, there being the qualifier of you have to meet certain goals in order to earn this pump. But at the same time, I don't remember. It'd be unnamed as a possibility, either. I don't remember asking questions about it too much. I knew they existed. Um, I knew that I thought that would be great if I could have one one day. But I, you know, I we

Scott Benner 12:57
just not. But it wasn't something like, like nowadays, where people are just like, I've had diabetes for six minutes. I need one of these and one of these and you know, and they're running around trying to find out about it online. That whole world just didn't exist, I guess.

Sarah 13:09
Yeah, that whole mentality of an empowered patient is really new, and still developing a lot of ways. And so it was very much like, these people have, you know, been educated and they've earned the status. They know, they know more about this, and they'll tell us what we need when we need to know it kind of thing. I think, too, for both diabetes and parents. Sometimes it's also overwhelming, and you're just trying to make it through each day and, you know, have relatively good blood sugars that it's easy to say, Well, okay, if I don't have to think about something else, like advocating for myself.

Unknown Speaker 13:57
That's great. You

Scott Benner 13:59
said in your note that, um, your mom had told you more recently that the doctor told her like, not to nag or push too hard, and that she kind of she followed that advice. I was wondering, because you describe what I think of is a very like, like, what's the word I'm looking for? I've just lost an incredibly common word, sir. Give me a sec. Anyway, it's funny in me explain to you that I lost the common word, I realized the word I was looking for is common. So your mom, your mom used the very common parenting techniques. She just told you. You're a great, you know, Princess is good. She's doing wonderful. Oh, my god, you're young and you're doing that she said all these uplifting things to you. But that doesn't necessarily make those things true. And if you're having feelings that don't match with what's being mirrored back to you by your parents, it's confusing because you even mentioned earlier like she's telling you there's something wrong, you know, really asking you weird questions probably for a 12 year like are you vomiting after You eat and think like, I'm sure it's well, you would never consider that you're probably like, Wait, what? And so you're over here on one side of the dinner table, thinking, hey, it's finally, you know, it's finally my time I'm eating the way I want, I'm getting the body I was hoping to have, she seems like there's something wrong. So you're in a happy place, she's in a concerned place. And now you switch roles after your diagnosis, and you're in a concerned place, and she's pretending we're all happy. And so I was wondering how that ends up impacting you over the years? Like, is it better to be starkly honest with children? And that's my parenting style. I mean, it's not like I don't say, you know, horrible things to my kids, you know, if I don't look at them and think, Oh, God, you know, you're not very good at math, that's gonna be a problem. You know, I don't say stuff like to my daughter, like you should marry up, or we're gonna have a problem here with you like, again, I don't think that but if I did think that I'm saying I wouldn't be that honest. But I do. I am honest with them. Like, if we sit and talk about diabetes, or Arden's thyroid, or something like that, she has a firm understanding of what's actually happening, I can still be supportive and positive, without like blowing rainbows where they don't belong. So I was wondering how that all ended up working out for you?

Sarah 16:15
Well, I don't think that she was all happy, or that there were rainbows or that I was being overly affirmed in some way. I think her tendency, and what actually what I felt like happened in a lot of ways was that she she was checking in and net, in an overwhelming way that to a teenager felt like nagging. Like, are you doing what you're supposed to do? And I was not always that engaged. I mean, I hated those log books, I was notorious for not keeping a log book, and then like scurrying around to kind of, you know, go back through the glucometer. And plug in the last, however many weeks worth of readings and kind of try to remember what I'd eaten and what I dosed and, you know, redo the math. I think the the encouragement from the doctor was, you know, don't kind of step back and let her do it by herself. And yet that felt, I don't think I had the words. I don't, I don't think I had the ability to really process to kind of step back and look at it. But I think in hindsight, it, it felt more isolating, like, Oh, I really have to do this all by myself, and nobody's going to help me.

Scott Benner 17:36
Yeah, I think that's why this conversation is really important, sir. Because I pretty truly believe that a lot of the intentions that people have had in the past around diabetes had the exact opposite impact that they were hoping and or they thought so firmly about, like, What's about these numbers, that's the important part. And they didn't think about you as a person. And I mean, from like the doctor's point of view, because really think of what we're talking about here. Hey, you have diabetes, hey, jab yourself with this. By the way, you might get dizzy sometimes, by the way, you know, this might happen, these things are gonna happen. This all this stuff's going on. And here's a book to write your numbers down it. Can you be like, more confused in your mind, and to believe that a 12 year old is going to be like, oh, a book to write my diabetes numbers? Not in Thank you so much. Like, who's gonna care about that? That's why why me one of the driving forces behind the podcast is me thinking, I don't want to do all this. I don't want to ask my daughter to do all this not because I don't want to do something that will help her. But because it doesn't seem reasonable. Like, I, you expect me to do this for the rest of my life, I think the same way about carb counting. Like, when I see people with a scale, I'm like, What are you doing? Like, you have to figure this out. Like, if the scale helps you figure it out. That's alright, we'll walk around with a scale for the rest of your life like you, you need to find a liveable way to live, you know, to manage diabetes, not just did you didn't lose the other parts of who you are, because you have type one, but they make it seem like it.

Sarah 19:08
Yeah, so I think that the doctors encouragement was, you know, this was mine, I had to learn how to live with it on my own terms. And she had to kind of remove herself from it in order to let me learn what I needed to learn. And if that meant failing, she had to learn to be okay with that. And I think there is some truth in that in parenting.

But at the same time, you know,

a minor still a minor.

Scott Benner 19:39
Yeah, you weren't learning how to ride a bike, sir. Right. It's not like, yeah,

Sarah 19:44
it's easy for us in you know, 2019 to look back at, you know, 97 2000 and say, What flawed systems and people these were, and yet, even the doctor, I go into him with my logbook. He's not seeing a graph like I can see on my phone, I don't know how you make a graph like that in your head looking at individual numbers,

Scott Benner 20:07
right? It's impossible. So

Sarah 20:10
there's been an evolution of data and systems and equipment that everybody's had to adapt to. Every everybody was working with the best that they could.

Scott Benner 20:20
And I'm, I bring it up, I listen to I agree with you, I think I think whether we're talking about politics or diabetes, our history is our history. We can't we can't whitewash it, we have to be aware of what it is. And at the same time, we can't let it continue to repeat itself moving forward. There are plenty of people right now in 2019, who

Unknown Speaker 20:41
are living in 97, for living back in

Scott Benner 20:43

  1. So you're here to help everybody who's at home right now thinking, Oh, my God, that's how the doctor is talking to me. Am I being Am I being managed? Like it was? Like, it's 1997, while other people are doing these things that, by the way, I believe are easier once you grasp them. Yeah, you know what I mean? And and take up so much less of your time, give you so much more freedom and, and a feeling of confidence and all the things that they were hoping to do. I'm just saying. It's interesting how, at some points, people say these, I don't know, it's a way of thinking about things. That baffles me. situations are multifaceted. And yet the first thing that pops into someone's mind is what they believe the entirety of the answer is, it's like, this kid has diabetes. Now, what should they do? And it's like, somebody thought, Oh, they should write their numbers down so they can track them. And then they stopped talking about it. Like that was the entirety of the answer. It's, you know, it's funny, if you think about the way politics are in my head, so much, say but if you think about political arguments, if you ever have one with like, a neighbor, who's on the other side of you, if you really stop and listen, they're making as much sense as you are most of the time. And, and you just have two different perspectives. So these are valid concerns about a central idea. And you're hearing from other places. That's what makes the community around diabetes and even the podcast, I think, really valuable because I have a perspective, right? And it's, and it helps some people, but there are some people who listen to it and are like, I don't like the guy from the podcast, but I tell you what I like he had Sarah on and she told a story that resonated with me. And and so those are more perspectives on a central issue. doctors need that parents need that people living with diabetes need that? You absolutely can't just go on your gut reaction all the time, because you're just one person seeing one side. You know, there's a there's a dark side of the moon, you need somebody standing over there looking at that part. That scene now we're getting to it. I'm feeling warmed up. You feeling good? We get into it, sir. Yeah. All right. I like it. So yeah, I'm not attacking your mom, I and but I do appreciate how you defended her. You must love her. That's very nice.

Sarah 22:54
Some of this is growing. And, you know, there are some things that I, when I realized that for the first time I feel angry about it. And then I have to step back and continue to process and say, Well, no, I can't totally blame, you know, this person is a part of a system and we were all in it together.

Scott Benner 23:14
Right? It was that time it was that place. It there's a lot of truth to that to that statement. You know what I mean? Like it's it back then. That was excellent care. And so and so you were being given the most excellent care somebody could think to give you important though, to realize 20 some years into it, that you had effects of that moving forward, and that you had to fight your way through it to get to where you are now. I'm interested in when you see nowadays, because I know you talked a lot in your writing about community and how valuable you found it to be and how you were trying to be a part of it too. But what is it feel like? When you're 22 years through slogging through 1997 advice, and you log on to some social media and see some some like person with their like six year old who's got like a five to a one say, and they're like, Oh my God, look how easy this is. I'm killing it. Are you like, I want to come find you and throw you in the water? Do you want to find out what they learn? So you can figure it out to like, Is there like, what's that knee jerk reaction you have when you see someone else doing that?

Sarah 24:25
I'll admit like that. The

written forms of social media, Facebook, the beyond type one, or whatever the name is community. I read it sometimes and they're helpful bits here and there. But the the thing that's been most helpful to me has been the podcasts and just kind of listening to different stories and piecing things together over time. Because what works for one person may not work for me. I mean, especially, you know, the example of a parent managing their child's day. Diabetes a lot bigger than their child is, you know, there are a lot of things about my life that are very different variables. And so to think that their success would translate to much, I don't know that that's, that's the right way to think about it. Although, you know, hearing somebody say, well, we tried, you know, Pre-Bolus thing or, you know, whatever this smaller piece of puzzle is that could work for anybody that that helps a lot. So I don't necessarily necessarily dive too deep on the on others other forms of social media, in terms of trying to apply what people have learned. And plus, just social media in that regard is exhausting so many times because you, you've got so many people who think they have the answers, and are telling everybody else what to do. And they're not necessarily right, or just, quite honestly, that the tone that they're writing is annoying and frustrating. And you're like, I don't want to listen to this person.

Scott Benner 26:06
It's not easy to communicate with others. Yeah. I think people who do it well make it seem easy. And I think that when you when you're not doing it, well, it's it's it pushes people away. Yeah. And so you said something a moment ago, it just warms my heart. Like, if I had wings, I would have flown up off the ground. I was so excited. You said that you listen to the podcast, and sometimes you pick bits and pieces from episodes, and people stories. So I had somebody asked me the other day, like they're like the pro tip series. Like we really like that because it was so focused. I was like, Yeah, it's great. I was like, but that's not how everybody's brain works. Everybody doesn't. Everybody can't just plug in and have ideas downloaded into their head, right? And these aren't, these aren't ideas that are concrete all the time, then it's not like two plus two is always four. And once you learn that rule, you can move on, you know, the idea of like setting up an Excel I always love when people ask me like, how do you set up an extended Bolus, I'm like, oh, it takes practice, like if and what that means is trial and error. You know, practice means trial and error. And I might say it in a way that sparks your imagination, but doesn't get you there. And then someone else will tell a story. And you'll be like, Oh, that's what makes sense. And so when people ask me, where do I start listening to the podcast? I feel weird giving my real answer because my real answer is start at the beginning. And listen through. And I realized that the longer the podcast is up, the more difficult that becomes. But the truth is, as you're listening to me, learn what I'm doing, and figure out different ways to talk about it. And get better at asking people questions that kind of bring out answers that are valuable and get on, you know, guests that are now listeners who understand like, what the bigger picture is, it all builds on itself. And it sounds to me like you had that experience where like, you got a little more, a little more, a little more. And then one day, you were just like, Oh my gosh, I like filled my tank up the way I that I have. I've heard the things now I need to hear. How did that change your actual management? Like, how is your management, like your success or your failures or anything around using insulin? How has that progressed while you've been listening?

Sarah 28:23
So when I first started listening, it was just a matter of, but honestly, like, checking more often. And you know, going from maybe four times a day to closer to 1015, injecting more often because I'd gone I had a two pump for probably 10 or 12 years. And I'd gone back to MDI for a little while. I knew I wanted to get back to a pump, but I wasn't there yet. And I just needed to start somewhere. And I think that's part of the value of the podcast, too, is that sometimes we get in our heads, we think, gosh, I've got to make all these changes. And tomorrow, I'm going to be a better person with diabetes. And I'm going to be drastically different. And that that's, that's part of how we set ourselves up for a fall is that you can't you can't change it overnight. You can't change yourself overnight. And so with the podcast, you can hear one thing and say, Okay, I'm going to work on this. One day, I'm going to work on checking more often or I'm going to work on the bolusing wherever you are. But it's also that it's not just the management that I think the podcast helps with. It's the way I understand my story with diabetes myself with diabetes. It's the emotional component to that. I think the podcast is more holistic in terms of not just how do you manage blood sugar, but how do you live

with diabetes in a way that

I don't get from other places. And that's really what was transformational for me was the thinking. Because it went from this idea that I'm never have to do this all by myself, I'm never going to get a handle on this, I'm always going to be this person that struggles. And you know, is really not taking care of herself. And gradually, I realized I could do this, I could reset, I could drastically change and be this person that I never thought was attainable. And so started listening probably April or May of 2018. By the end of July, my agency was down to like 7.5, I don't even know what it was before. Then I September of 2018, I was on a dex column and Omni pod. And my last agency, I think, was I didn't look it up this morning, I should have it was a couple months ago, but I think it was like 5.6. And I am more comfortable talking about my diabetes. I never, I didn't tell anybody I worked with I and I work in a community of people. It's not just my colleagues. But like, there's lots of people that we serve. I nobody knew, I didn't tell anybody that I had diabetes until about a year ago.

Scott Benner 31:35
Since everyone has a blood glucose meter, they might as well have the best one. And in my opinion, the Contour Next One is that meter. If you go to Contour Next one.com, you're going to see the meter that my daughter has been using for about a year and a half now. And it is far and away the most accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter that she's ever had. I mean that when you get to Contour Next one.com. There's a yellow button at the top where you can check to see if you can get a free meter. That's at least worth clicking on to say. But you're also going to find out about the Contour Next One app that goes with that meter. That helps you make sense of your blood sugar's A lot of you might be using Dexcom or another CGM. But if you're not, these data points you're getting back from your meter. They can be made sense of and the free app that's available for iPhone and Android. It will help you there's really nothing to lose either you're going to get a great meter that's going to supplement your care with spot on blood sugar checks, which by the way, always match ardens Dexcom g sex, it's fascinating how right on they are or you don't have a CGM and you need a great meter. And this is that one. Contour Next one.com F, you're basking in the glow, right? You've got your meter and you're like, Huh, I'm feeling good about myself. Roll on over to touched by type one.org. Check out what they're doing. For people living with Type One Diabetes, you're going to take your good feeling about your new meter, and add it to your good feeling. The touch by type one will bring two good feelings are better than one. So that's Contour Next one.com touched by type one.org. And if you're not able to remember, you can always click on the links right there in the show notes to your podcast player, or the ones that will be found at Juicebox podcast.com. Thank you for supporting the sponsors.

Sarah 33:39
I didn't tell anybody that I had diabetes until about a year ago.

Scott Benner 33:44
Did that make you feel like like you were lying to them?

Unknown Speaker 33:48
In some ways, I wasn't sure.

Sarah 33:50
But it was also that I just couldn't handle what I thought I would get from them. And this I thought I would get judgment I thought I would get people looking at my plate all the time. People checking up on me all the time, meaning well, but just in a way that I couldn't handle. And and so all those things have changed to where I mean, I have part of my job occasionally includes some public speaking. And I have said publicly in some of those opportunities, I've talked about my diabetes and now I never would have happened before. And I mean, I even my mom has said I'm really surprised that you chose these devices that you have because for so long you didn't want anybody to know and now you just wear them on your arm and it's so visible and like you're just out there and I said yeah, I I don't. This is just it's different. Now. I I see myself differently. And I think unless part of my struggle with diabetes, I think is is connected with my personality and this desire to be perfect. Even outside my diabetes, I have a hard time asking for help. I have this sometimes, you know, my, my worst, I get myself into a hole because I think I have to do something by myself. So I'm always learning in different ways in different areas of my life, how untrue that is.

Scott Benner 35:33
It happens to so many people, right? Like the what it what is that saying the enemy of good is great or something like that, like the idea that if it can't be perfect, I don't do it. And therefore, you know, and on top of that you have I can't I can't help. I can't ask anybody for help. You've come a really long way. I want you to know, Sarah, genuinely, because you're from the south. I almost cried just now. And there's a connection there that you won't get for a second. But okay, beak so quickly. And people from the south sometimes speak really measured Lee, so there's nowhere for me to jump in. Because if I jump in with a small thought I throw you off. So I've learned. So I've learned when I'm interviewing people from this out, I just, I hold all my questions till the end. And some people are probably like, yes, idiot. That's right, do that. And some people are like, no, I like the back and forth of the podcast. So anyway, the point is, is that I was sort of forced to just let you talk and not interject what I, I had thoughts that I was trying to, that I wanted to bring up. The reason I do that, by the way for people listening is because I have like the memory of a flea. And so now all the things that I was thinking while Sarah was talking are gone out of my head, so you're never gonna know any of them. But But the point is, is that sitting and listening to you, you came the closest of anybody ever, to making me cry just now. So but just in happiness for you. You described an amazing transformation in an incredibly short amount of time. It must have been mind blowing to you that any of these changes happen in your life. And did they come with great work? Or did they just for the lack of a better term? Did they just happen over time?

Sarah 37:16
I think they really I won't say it's not without great work. But it feels more gradual over time. And I think the greater work.

Unknown Speaker 37:30
I mean, there was this

Sarah 37:34
effort in the end more committed and taking the time just to do the daily stuff. But I think once I had in my mind, this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to reset that was not so hard as just in, in every facet of my life, reminding myself that it's okay to I think because I'm in a helping profession, it is there is this temptation sometimes to think that I have to wait until other people have gotten what they need. And or that I don't have time to take care of myself. And that's a lie like that. That is just the worst thing you could tell yourself. And so it is different opportunities come up or thinking through things and not saying I can't, I'm not, I'm not saying I can't do this. Because I have diabetes, I'm saying learning to tell myself and even tell other people, even if I don't mention diabetes, I can't do this. Because I deserve to be put first.

Scott Benner 38:44
And I refuse to backtrack. If I refuse to go back to where I was for you. It's incredibly important to be able to say no with confidence, and not and not apologize for it. You don't have to apologize for saying I can't do that. Or I don't want to you can't take on the perceived bad feelings of another person, which by the way you might be wrong about to begin with, you know, right, you're now you're now defending their feelings that you don't even know if they have or not. And in the process making yourself feel terrible. Which by the way, I assume if those people knew they wouldn't want for you, and now you've made them and you feel bad.

Sarah 39:25
It's I think, I think what I found is that people are much more. They're much less judgmental than I give them credit for oftentimes,

Scott Benner 39:35
yeah, you know how I put it to my children when they were growing up, and no one cares about you. But I meant it in a nice way. Like what I what I meant was like, so I don't know if I've ever told this. It's a very simple story about my sons, I don't know. 12 1314 years old, and we're often some town, you know, an hour away and he's playing baseball. And it's over. And he's like, I'm hungry. And I was like, Well, you're in luck. Because we're one town away from where Kevin Smith's comic book store is a place that I had visited a lot when I was younger. And I knew of this diner right up the street. So we drove into the next town, I took him to this diner, now it's this older diner, and it had some tables right in the middle. So if you can try to imagine a small space, with tables all out on the perimeter of three walls, and then one table in the middle of them. And that one table in the middle was what was open, we came in, and we sat down. And he was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. And he couldn't focus on the menu, or I said, Are you are right, you feel okay. Like he seemed really wrong. And I was like, No, and I finally figured it out. He did not like that we were the center of attention in his mind that everyone could see him there was no wall to hide against. Did you know what I mean? Like you couldn't put your back to something, you'd be facing people to see what they were thinking of you. And that's the day I told them call these people are here eating. They don't care about you. I was like, and if they're judging you for some reason. That's meaningless to you. First of all, you'll never see them again. Secondly, their opinion doesn't affect you. It doesn't impact you. They can't change your life. And the only power they have is if you let them have it right now. And the oddity of course, is if you let them have that power, they'll never know, it's not like you're gonna stand up and walk over to them go, Hey, I just want you to know, your judgmental looks are hurting me. It's you're not, you know, you're not, you're not going to tell them that. So this is all pretend none of this exists. Everything you feel isn't real right now. Now, that doesn't stop the fact that you're feeling it. And how do we get past that? But I think the first step for him was understanding that like, nobody cares. Nobody's here at this diner to look at you. You know, and, and maybe that's hard sometimes for people who are people watchers, to imagine that other people are not looking at you, and they don't care. So it's very cool that you made such I mean, like, your mom makes a great point, like wearing it on the pot on your arm. That's like, um, that's an arm out situation right there. You know what I mean? Like, that should be on pride day, to be perfectly honest. Hey, that's a good idea. If you're anybody's looking to support pride, people where you're pleased. I can't that's a great idea. Well, think of that next year on Friday. Anyway, um, and in in, I don't want to overuse the term weight lifted. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. affecting other parts of your life, not if not touching diabetes, yet, has it like, like, rewired your personality in other ways?

Sarah 42:39
And I would say probably, so although I may be less able to articulate it. Maybe I'm not fully aware, haven't totally recognized everything yet. I think it it has given me a different, I always knew diabetes had this capacity to help me be more sympathetic or empathetic to the people that I work with, even if they didn't live with diabetes. But I think that's probably grown. Just as I change in my thinking about some things. I feel like I've changed a lot and how I think about healing and cure. I think there's a difference. And I think our culture largely wants yours. Whether or not we realize it, I think a lot of what we say when we want a cure for something, is that we want it to go away. And we want it to be like it never existed. like it never happened. And I think cures, especially for diseases are attainable. But the reality is that a cure in the sense that I'm thinking about it. And we also want quick fixes and American goals, or you know, we want something right now. But a cure really only works for those people where it's preventing the disease. Because if a cure comes about for diabetes, and you know, something's able to make my pancreas start working and producing insulin again, it's not going to change the fact that I once had diabetes, and that's part of my story. And that experience, changed who I was, and I learned something from it. And I don't know that I want that story to go away. Um, so, yeah, that I would say I've experienced healing, and even something pretty miraculous, with, you know, all of all the things that have happened over the last year to 18 months with dex comment on the pod and those tools that are available to us now. And if I'm sure they're waiting, In which my life with diabetes will improve? in ways I can't yet imagine. But if it doesn't, this is enough. Like, the healing I've experienced in the last year is enough.

Scott Benner 45:15
That's wonderful. Yeah, that's so nice. And it makes my job seem like a little time now, because I was gonna say,

Unknown Speaker 45:21
you can say whatever

Scott Benner 45:22
you want to say like, you know, anybody who's seen the Avengers movies, but what Sarah is talking about is like, she's, you know, it's a snap, like she's talking about, like, people are looking for Thanos to like, show up and be like, no more diabetes, it's over, you know, and if you didn't see those movies, just not along with me, Sarah, and I'll keep going. I'll pull it all together for you right now. Don't worry. But But yeah, you, you just said something that was incredibly impactful, which is, this process is who I am. If you take this all away, then I'm Michelle, but like, you can't take these these experiences, right? And it's important to embrace them as much as you possibly can to because, you know, I said it in, you know, simpler terms. But having diabetes makes you more aware of your health. Yeah, some of the healthiest people I know, have type one diabetes, because they're so incredibly aware of their bodies. And, you know, and some of the most thoughtful people I know, have been through struggles. Not just diabetes, but other things that gives you perspective, it's all perspective. Your, your goal at the end of life should be to have gathered up as much perspective as you possibly can get. Because otherwise, I mean, what are you like, you know, like, you're this just like, you know, one dimensional thinking thing that, you know, is wandering around saying the stuff your parents told you when you were 15. Like, that's not life, you have to, you have to run forward and see what it is you can find out about other people and the world and culture and, and heartache and pain, like all that has to be a part of your tapestry, I guess, you know, like you, you want to, you know, you want to get as far as you can get taking in as much as you can take in. And then that's that because we're all going to go at the end. I mean, and if you're looking to just like, put blinders on and pretend nothing else exists. I don't think that's particularly healthy. You just, it's it's so funny, like, you're describing a metamorphosis, for finding a podcast, which is throwing me a little bit if I'm being you know, if you stop your working miracle, Scott, well, Sara took me 47 minutes to get you to say it. I mean, next day, quicker, please, I, I saved you're just joking. What I'm talking about here is that insincerity is I wrote a blog for a really long time. And when I saw that blogging was sort of going away, and people weren't really thrilled about, you know, reading as much as they had been, I was concerned because I used to think, Hey, this blog, it helps people like I get a note once in a while, you know, Hey, thanks for sharing your blah, blah, blah, helped me. But they were very, like, still surfacey notes like that, I'm sure it was important in their life, but it was, you know, it was like, Oh, I didn't know about this thing for the, you know, for my pump or something like that, or I appreciate knowing about the, you know, the insulin pricing thing. And as I saw it going away, I panicked. I went to my wife, and I was like, this thing that I know is helping people I think nobody's gonna read anymore. I'm like, I think BuzzFeed is going to literally kill my ability to help people with diabetes. And then of all the weird, ironic stuff. Something Katie Couric said to me, because I got to be on her show, because I wrote a book about parenting, because I wrote an inset for a person's diabetes book The year before, because all those things happen. And I got to go do an interview. And when that interview was over, all she did was grabbed me and say, hey, you're very good at this. And I didn't know what she was talking about. I genuinely had no idea what she was saying. I was walking off stage. I'm a regular person from a suburb, who's you know, at CBS studios recording a television show thinking like, How did this happen? You know, and I asked her, I don't know what you're saying, like, what am I good at? And she just said, talking. She said, Not everybody's good at talking. You're good at it. Thanks for coming. And I walked away. And in the moment when I thought my blog was gonna die. Because people just want to click through pictures to see if like Leo DiCaprio got fat, you know, and nobody wants to read anymore. I thought maybe I could talk to people. That woman said to me, I was good at it. You know, like Katie Couric said, hey, you're good at this. And then I took about a week wandering around my house, thinking about what that would look like. And I thought, huh, I listened to a couple podcasts that I like, I should try that. And then four years later, you're telling me, all of this, I hope you understand, has been very transformative for me too. And it's incredibly strange.

It's incredibly strange for me, because I didn't. Because four years ago, five years ago, I didn't say, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take my brilliance to the podcasting medium, and find Sarah and save her. You know, like, like, I didn't have any lofty goals, I guess, is really cool to hear how this is affecting you. I'm humbled by it, even though because I was trying to sound fun and funny. Just now, I seem the opposite of human humble. But uh, but trust me, I am. Sarah, are you okay? Because I just talked so quickly. And I worry about I sometimes anybody below like Virginia, I start to worry about a little bit of a lovely email somewhere for a gentleman from a gentleman in Texas. And he said it took him months of listening to the show at a slower speed to be able to catch up with how quickly I speak and he said he was so proud of himself. He's like, I haven't now I can listen at normal speed.

Sarah 51:20
Now, I haven't experienced that problem and listening to you. And you know, today or, or other days, thank you.

Scott Benner 51:29
It's a Texas thing. Let's put it on them. By the way, it's possible. By the time anybody hears this, I will be booked to speak in Houston. I've been trying to get to Texas, I've never been there. So I'm pretty excited about that. But, but Sara, like, I just I realized, you sent me the email to say thank you. And a lot of what you just said was similar. And I'm just trying to thank you back. I'm just trying to be, you know, entertaining about it. But I'm trying to thank you back. Because you don't know, as much as you as much as I don't know, your life and how you feel I can listen to you describe it, I can try to like take it in. But I don't really understand. You know, I never could I don't have diabetes. In that same way. I can never truly get across to you how flabbergasted I am that the things you just said you were saying to me? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. So it's just very nice. I don't know another way to say it. I'm completely touched by it. And so happy for you that I don't know. I could never tell you how happy I am for if people will follow me on social media. When you guys put something nice up, I just throw a blue heart on it for diabetes, because if I start responding to you, I'm going to be all like, Oh my god, this is amazing. You did so well. Like I get like, I get like too much, you know, and so I just I throw those blue hearts on one because you guys are nice enough to share the show. And these things are happening more frequently. And I am genuinely managing all this by myself. And I'm starting to run out of time but but because I know I would just start to just be like, wow, how did you get your a one see that loan though? Like the podcasts? I'm like, That can't be right. Like Like that's because I know me getting a mean, and it's hard for me to imagine. I wanted to ask you a little bit. You've referenced a number of times like you have a clear like caregivers mentality. But not that you can't and not have children but you don't have children. Do you think that you I says so personal but you've said so many personal things here? Screw it, I'm just gonna ask you do Did you want children but you can't have them?

Sarah 53:46
Or, I'm not aware of if that's the case, but we'll put it that way. Um, I never felt like I just never felt like I had to have children. Like there were things in my life that I felt like I could not live without doing and my work is one of those things being married to my husband is one of those things. giving birth to a child is not one of those things. And there was always this back of my mind thing in the back of my mind, especially when I was not the the when I didn't take care of myself in the way that I am now that like I knew, like I can't even take care of me. How am I going to take care of another person? I just I wasn't sure that I could ever get there now. I mean, today I know that if I needed if I were to get pregnant, I could manage my diabetes or pregnancy and everything would be okay. But I didn't always know that about myself. But in this sense, the decision we've made is really more out of a sense of calling. I my work I worked on to church, my children's minister. And I really feel called to help families be their best and to help parents be their best with their children. And don't feel called to give birth to my own.

And my husband has his own

variation on that, that calling but we've reached this decision together, you know, that he doesn't feel called to, to have biological children, there may come a day when we choose to foster that won't be right now. But I think if if, if we parent we would be Foster, if we parented with children in the home, we would be foster parents, and I think I see what I do as a type of parenting that we really all, you know, I'm not taking on as much of the responsibility as a birth parent does as someone who has children in the home. But I am a influential adult and these children's lives, and that matters. And I take that seriously.

Scott Benner 56:01
Such an incredibly responsible thought, you know, let me like because it's so easy to be pressured by other people into feeling like I have to, you know, I'm supposed to grow up and meet somebody and get married to make a baby like that feeling that, that that's what people expect of you. And it's interesting, because you are you were in so many other ways in your life pressured by what other people thought, but not in this one, which is a bit which is a big one.

Sarah 56:30
And I still want I still struggle sometimes with like, how will somebody see me or think that? Like, will appearance I work with, take me seriously and think that I have something meaningful to contribute to them? Since I don't have children or my own?

Scott Benner 56:48
Well, I'll say this to Sarah, I don't know, there is some self doubt

Unknown Speaker 56:51
there. I don't have type

Scott Benner 56:53
one diabetes, do I have something meaningful to contribute to it? Yeah, you do, too, you know. So again, that's a different perspective. I tell people all the time here like it's, I can be dispassionate about it, because I don't have it because all the things that you've described today don't affect me, because I don't have diabetes. So I get to think about the, the more I can think about the nuts and bolts idea without being clouded by, you know, things as serious as worrying about making my blood sugar low. Or if somebody will see me in jacked in public, I was able to, at some point, look at my daughter and say, I think it makes most sense for her psychological well being if we give her insulin wherever we are, and don't run to a bathroom and hide or feel like hiding is what's necessary. Now, she might not have felt like that at the time. But I did. And I got to decide. And so you know, sometimes you need someone who can step back from things and say, Look, I know how you're feeling. But this is the way to go. And I think you probably can do that for people too. I mean, honestly, not being pressured into having a baby is like the most responsible thing I've ever heard in my life. If you don't want to be a parent, you shouldn't be here. Many people are walking around or parents who don't want to be parents. It's hard. Yeah, you know. So that's really beautiful. Like, it's such a kindness, like to a baby, to you, to your husband like to you know, the things you're going to do together. I'm now excited about the things you're going to do together. I have a picture in my head of, you know, you're feeling better. And your blood sugar's are where you want them and you're moving in this new direction. I feel like you're gonna, like go forward, like a million miles an hour and just do things you didn't ever expect it.

Sarah 58:31
Yeah, we're excited

Scott Benner 58:32
that you are how did you not tell me you were a youth minister, before we started, I'm sure there was like 10 things I said, I wouldn't have said if he told me that. No, you're totally fine. So I did. I didn't

Unknown Speaker 58:41
know I think sometimes.

Unknown Speaker 58:46
Sometimes we don't tell because it's good. When we don't tell you.

Scott Benner 58:52
Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's so funny. I run the podcast the same way people are like, do you want to know about like that? Not really, let's just go. Because if I know something, then I'll start. Like, then I'm just reading your email, you know what I mean? Like, then we don't need the podcast. So and then it's a blog, which by the way, people won't read. So blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, this is what we need to do. So Sarah, you've helped a lot of people today, you don't realize that and it wasn't really today, because this will come out, like, you know, four months from now. And you'll, you'll be like, I don't even remember doing this anymore. But it's just incredibly kind of you. Because you this was not your intention. And you did it anyway. And then you were just insanely honest. So this is really nice. I have had a couple of interviews where we've stopped the recording and then people say something and I think why did you not say that while we were recording? Like you're like that was the truth right there. How did you not get to the truth by recording but I think you let the truth out pretty well. Okay. No, I thank you very much. I have to tell you as a person who I believe is a caregiver at heart to, it's not easy all the time. And that feeling that you know, other people come before you is, is lovely. And it's kind, but it's dangerous for you, you know, sometimes so you absolutely just have to go with any number of those silly thoughts, but you know, they are masks fall out of the airplane, you got to put yours on first is sort of the one that that always rings in people's heads. You can't take care of other people, if you're in need as well. So I love that you're taking great care of yourself. I thrilled that it came from this podcast, like that's just insane. I'm just really, I don't know, this is like the nicest. I'm gonna have the greatest day now. Yeah, I'm so happy. I'll probably get hit by a car later. And so I'm sorry, that's an inappropriate. I want to just ask you if there's anything that you pressingly wanted to say that we didn't get to.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:04
And we don't think so.

Scott Benner 1:01:05
Good. That's amazing. In that case, Sarah, I'm gonna say goodbye. And then I'm gonna stop the recording and say goodbye to you like a person. And their I imagine you'll study something incredibly impactful that will change the world while we're not recording. So yeah, actually, if you have an impactful thought, just keep it yourself, because it'll just make me upset. Okay. So huge thanks to Sarah for coming on the show and sharing her story. And thank you to touch by type one.org. And the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, a blood glucose meter where you can touch the the blood with the test trip, and it doesn't get it quite right. And that doesn't waste the ship, you can go back and do it again. Hmm. I like that idea, right. Plus, this little form factor fits in anywhere you want to keep it your pocket your bag, big enough to hold on to small enough not to be in your way. Let me take a moment to thank you for continuing to listen during the covid 19 crisis. very appreciative hear stories from other podcasts, and it's not going quite so well for them. And I really appreciate that you guys are sticking with the show and listening at the same pace. It's a it's heartwarming, actually. I'm glad to be there. I get a lot of nice notes from people are like this podcast is like the constant for me bomb, you know, stuck in my house or not working. And I'm glad that it can be that for some of you. It's really wonderful. That's pretty much it. I mean, unless you want to leave a glowing review on iTunes on Apple podcast. I mean, I'm not gonna say no to that. guy's got anything else. This is not much of a two way street on conversation. So I feel like I can hear you saying no, Scott, we're done. Thanks. You want to know what the next couple of episodes are gonna be? I don't do that very often. Should I? I think there's an afterdark coming up that you're really going to enjoy. I'll say that much. And Dr. Edelman is going to be back soon to give a Coronavirus update and we're going to talk about integration back into life. That should be really interesting. And there's a lot of other good stuff. I'm going to hit this psychological bend a little more around the way diabetes makes you feel in the next couple of episodes. I like this make a little theme week. But that would be weird. If I made a theme week that does not seem like something I would do. I wish you would just forget I even said that. Thanks so much for listening. Hey, guys, there's new merch at Juicebox podcast.com. If you want to check it out, there's these neck Gators. I just got one I've been wearing to the grocery store. It's very cool. And a couple of new t shirts. And you know what I'm saying? Otherwise, share the show with a friend. Oh, and don't forget diabetes pro tip.com is available now. It's completely free. It just calls together all the diabetes pro tip episodes from the podcast into one place. So I was hearing from people like I'm trying to share the pro tips but this person doesn't understand podcasts. How do we give it to them? diabetes pro tip.com. Have a good day. I'll see you soon.


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