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Podcast Episodes

The Juicebox Podcast is from the writer of the popular diabetes parenting blog Arden's Day and the award winning parenting memoir, 'Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad'. Hosted by Scott Benner, the show features intimate conversations of living and parenting with type I diabetes.

Filtering by Category: Juicebox Podcast

#1347 The Mute Button

Scott Benner

Fran has type 1 diabetes and autism.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon MusicGoogle Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio PublicAmazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT


DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to the next episode of The juicebox podcast.

Fran is 33 Why'd I say Fran? Like that? Fran is 33 she lives in England. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes 10 years ago and with autism. Just a few years ago, she was a teacher, but she's not anymore, and we're going to talk all about type one and a number of other things, including OmniPod five, AI for diabetes and much more. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan, don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order@cozyearth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40 percent@cozyearth.com when you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink, AG, one.com/juice box. Don't forget, if you're a US resident who has type one, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, visit T 1d exchange.org/juice box right now and complete that survey. It will take you 10 minutes to complete the survey, and that effort alone will help to move type one diabetes research forward. It will cost you nothing to help. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's dressing hyperglycemia head on a topic that often gets overshadowed by the focus on hypoglycemia. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Eversense 365 you can experience the Eversense 365 CGM system for as low as $199 for a full year. Visit Eversense cgm.com/juicebox, for more details and eligibility. Hi,

Fran 2:05
I'm Fran. I live in England, and I have type one diabetes. Fran, how old are you? 3333

Scott Benner 2:14
How long have you had type one

Fran 2:15
since I was 23 so, yeah, 1010, years

Scott Benner 2:19
and a half out of school by the time it happened,

Fran 2:21
yeah. So I finished university, and I was just about to start teacher training. In fact, I started teacher training three days after diagnosis.

Scott Benner 2:33
Teacher Training. Oh, that's interesting. So you go to university for what? And then you get out and train. How does it work becoming a teacher there.

Fran 2:42
Yeah. So you do, like, whatever your normal degree is, usually, and then there's like a one year, I guess it's sort of like a degree. You do it at a university, but you have placements in schools. There's another way of doing it as well, but that's the one I did.

Scott Benner 3:00
What kind of teaching were you thinking about doing at that

Fran 3:03
point, secondary school, maths, maths.

Scott Benner 3:06
And did you end up doing that?

Fran 3:11
I did, yeah, for 10 years, actually.

Scott Benner 3:14
Oh, you've just recently stopped. Yeah. Had enough of those kids.

Fran 3:26
There were a lot of things about it. I guess behavior management was never something that I was going to love. And the pandemic was interesting. I started quite enjoying the mute button, and then I kind of realized that maybe that was a sign. So, yeah, now I work at an educational technology company. When we make this, like online platform where you can go and learn GCSEs and a levels, which is like

Scott Benner 3:54
I'm offering, I'm holding in a laugh, imagining those kids talking you, being like and shut up.

Fran 3:59
Oh, you know, it gets even funnier, because at one point they realized that they could do that to me,

Scott Benner 4:05
that's fantastic. It's a whole generation of kids that didn't really go to school for a few years. Yeah, yeah. I've told this before, but I once opened Arden's door and she was on her bed with her laptop, like, positioned really strangely, and she was just bending her head forward and backwards. And I'm staring at her, and I'm like, what is happening? And she kind of shoos me away, and later I say, What the hell was going on? There she goes. I was pretending to do sit ups for gym class. I'm like, I'm like, what? So I said, A, you're doing calisthenics over zoom. And B, you're not actually doing them. And she goes, No. And I was like, Uh oh, this is this. Is it? I thought. Same thing you're talking about. I was like, There's no way that the teachers feel any differently about this than the kids do, like, it's just a disaster, right? Yeah, you would have been better off if you gave them a treasure map and sent them out into the world. And were like, Here go. Fine, fine. I guess you couldn't have done that either. But whatever you figured out you had enough of kids when you stopped listening to them as you were teaching. That's smart to get out of that. I appreciate that coming out of school a bright eyed young girl thinking she's gonna go help the youth of America. You're getting ready to start your next level of training, basically. And what happens? You get sick?

Fran 5:32
Yeah, so I actually were working at a school for a year before I started the teacher training, and near the end of that year, I started getting all the classic symptoms, you know, tired, really thirsty, going to the little lot that kind of thing. I kind of put up with that for a couple of weeks. And then I went, Oh, hang on, I've heard about this on Scrubs. Yes, a TV show diagnosed me first. So then I kind of figured it out. Had a blood test. They lost the results. Had another blood test. Phoned up a week later, and the receptionist was like, it says here, it's 13. That's high normal in your money, that's 230 and I went, hang on, let me Google that. None of the scales made any sense. I was like, we're 13. That's that's nowhere on any of these scales. That must be a different scale. And she didn't know what it meant, because she was the receptionist. Yeah, that was definitely in the diabetic range. But neither of us knew that at the time, so I put up with it for another six weeks or so. Then I eventually went to a different doctor. He did a finger prick in the room, which obviously they should have done the first time, really. And he went, Yeah, we're going to send you to the hospital today. So I said, Can I have lunch first? He said, Yeah, sure. And then I went to the hospital, and the very nice endocrinologist gave me some insulin and things like that. And three days later, I had to walk up a lot of stairs in the Library at the University, which did not enjoy. But then a week after that, the stairs became much easier. So you know, insulin is good. Was

Scott Benner 7:02
there a curmudgeonly janitor at the at the hospital, like scrubs, or were you having, like, a whole thing, nothing, nothing like that?

Fran 7:09
I don't think there was. Unfortunately, I

Scott Benner 7:11
can't put So wait, what do you remember seeing on Scrubs that made you think I have diabetes? This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by ever since 365 and just as the name says, it lasts for a full year, imagine for a second a CGM with just one sensor placement and one warm up period every year. Imagine a sensor that has exceptional accuracy over that year and is actually the most accurate CGM in the low range that you can get. What if I told you that this sensor had no risk of falling off or being knocked off? That may seem too good to be true, but I'm not even done telling you about it, yet, the Eversense 365 has essentially no compression lows. It features incredibly gentle adhesive for its transmitter. You can take the transmitter off when you don't want to wear your CGM and put it right back on without having to waste a sensor or go through another warm up period. The app works with iOS and Android, even Apple. Watch you can manage your diabetes instead of your CGM with the Eversense 365 learn more and get started today at Eversense cgm.com/juicebox, one year one CGM

Fran 8:23
Turk gets type two in one of the later seasons. Really? Apparently, yeah, Apparently that was enough to tick me off. I don't know. No

Scott Benner 8:31
kidding, that's crazy, and not even a British Show, an American show, yeah.

Fran 8:36
I mean, you guys have a lot of good shows,

Scott Benner 8:38
I have to tell you. I just finished up watching the gentleman on Netflix and so talking that it just came out, but it's a completely like, British thing, and like, you're just freaking me out. Like, I totally feel like you and I are going to get involved in a crime together and shoot somebody so fantastic, wonderful. I'm having such a lovely time because I'm having like, a whole feeling here. I'm like, Oh, I'm basically a Duke. She's gonna help me kill some people. It's gonna be fantastic. Anyway, people should try the gentleman on Netflix. Okay, so you, you have all this stuff happen. Can I ask a question before we get too far down the road? Yeah, why is the bathroom called the loo?

Fran 9:21
I have no answer for that question. Seriously, it just is, wait.

Scott Benner 9:24
You really don't know.

Fran 9:27
I don't know. It just always has been, because

Scott Benner 9:30
here, if you ask me why you call the bathroom the bathroom, I'd say, Well, it's the room where you take a bath, right? So can we find out together? I mean, I'm gonna look. You just wait for me

Fran 9:41
to look. Oh, I know. I've listened to enough of the podcast to know how this works.

Scott Benner 9:45
Yeah, there's got to be some like etymology, entomology, reason here. Okay, hold on a second. The term Lou is commonly British slang for a bathroom or toilet. The origin of the word Lou is uncertain. Are you kidding me? But there are several theories. When I hear the. Theories, yeah, you're like, not really, but okay, hold on. French influence could be one popular theory is that it comes from the French phrase, wait a minute. Lou des, which means places of ease or comfort stations over time. This phrase might have been shortened to Lou, let's see you do toilet. Another theory suggests that Lou might be derived from the French term e du toilette, literally water or toilet, which refers to lightly scented cologne. The idea is that the toilet water became a euphemism for the bathroom. We're getting there Gardi loo. In medieval times, people would empty their chamber pots out the window onto the streets below. Before doing so, they would shout, Gardi Lou, from the French regards Lou, meaning, watch out for the water as a warning. This could have eventually been shortened to Lou and water closet. There's also a possibility that Lou could have come from the term Waterloo, a brand name of early toilets. I

Unknown Speaker 11:05
love it.

Scott Benner 11:06
I just didn't. I just figured it'd be like some like British thing, you'd tell me, but it turns out it's probably a French thing.

Fran 11:13
Oh, there you go. I would not have guessed that. I

Scott Benner 11:15
don't want to be too punny, but does it piss you off that it's a French thing and not a British thing,

Fran 11:22
not really. I mean, we have some pretty good ones. I grew up in a town called Reading, which is near London, and we have a word for now. I can't remember the real name. You know the little the little bugs that have, like armor, like tiny armadillos. We call them cheese locks, for some reason, I don't know why. Oh,

Scott Benner 11:43
wait, wait, wait, wait, oh, they're like, like, Roly Poly bugs or something like that. Oh,

Fran 11:49
yeah, I think that's yeah, okay. And it's only people in reading who call them that. It's not even just all of England,

Scott Benner 11:57
you know. So then when you say getting drunk? Do you say getting pissed sometimes? And do you think that means because you're gonna have to go to the bathroom afterwards, maybe, oh, my God, all right, I don't want to keep going down these roads with you, because you don't seem to know. And I'm just gonna wonder all day long, you get diabetes 10 years ago. Sorry about that. That was terrible. You go to what they call hospital, or do you go to a doctor? How do you handle that whole process? So

Fran 12:21
it was a doctor a GP for the original blood tests, and then I went to hospital for the kind of endo appointments, and I've been in under care of various hospitals since then.

Scott Benner 12:33
Do they keep you there? Is it an in and out? It was just in and

Fran 12:36
out. I was only there for an hour or two the first time, and then I went back a couple of times over the next week, once or twice over the next few months. Gotcha

Scott Benner 12:43
now, in your note to me, You talk a lot about just maybe what doctors could have done differently and like diagnosis issues, and so I'd like to, like, figure all that out. So first of all, there's a mistake in your diagnosis. How does that happen?

Fran 12:57
Well, that was the losing the first blood test and then the second one, you know, they they told me what the result of the blood test was, but they didn't tell me that that meant I had diabetes. Okay, so it took three months to get the final diagnosis after I'd figured it out myself.

Scott Benner 13:13
I see there's three months in there. Geez, okay, yeah. How was living for those three months? Were you declining?

Fran 13:19
Oh, it's terrible, yeah, by the time I went to that last doctor's appointment, I was, like, it was a five minute walk down the road, and I needed to lie down. When I got back, I was absolutely knackered. Like, completely useless to anyone feeling like you're dying.

Scott Benner 13:36
Oh yeah, yeah, thanks for saying knackered.

Fran 13:39
You're welcome. It came on so slowly, though, that I was kind of thinking like, Oh, I'm just lazy, or I've just gotten into bad habits, or I need to do more exercise and things like that. And you don't realize until you're feeling better, how much of a difference it

Scott Benner 13:53
was, yeah, that slow, kind of blissful drift into death, seriously, like your your body's just you're dying slowly, and it's just you're shutting off so gradually that you can't really tell, like, it's almost better if it hits you all at once, so that you're like, hey, something's viciously different than it was yesterday. You know. Yeah, that sucks. Do you think that what you're talking about here in your note about doctors being too cautious and not telling you things that you think would have helped you, is that from the start, or is it something you ran to later down the road? I want to know about that that early time and and you're coming to understand what it is you needed to do for yourself.

Fran 14:33
So I think the what I was told initially was pretty good, you know, I was after, I think, the first two days, they said, give yourself these doses at meals. And then after that, they were like, Yeah, once you're comfortable, you can just start carb counting for yourself. Did they tell you how to do that? He was doing that from the beginning. They told me to pre bolus. Yeah, they did okay. So that was, that was fine. And, you know, I'm sciency as well, so I kind of. Reassured them that that was something I'd be able to handle. And yeah, so no problems with that. But within about a week of being diagnosed, I'd started, sort of, you know, mentally inventing future solutions for myself, one of which was essentially the OmniPod you made up. Discovered that the OmniPod actually existed. I basically made up something that would do what the OmniPod does. Were you doing found out that the OmniPod existed?

Scott Benner 15:27
Fran, were you doing sketches like, how far did it go? Exactly?

Fran 15:30
I may have done a very brief sketch. The general idea was like a thing that you can kind of stick on yourself that has the insulin in it and just sort of sits there. And

Scott Benner 15:39
what was a great idea? A fantastic idea,

Fran 15:42
I know, yeah, yeah, did you not existed already?

Scott Benner 15:46
Did you not think of googling it before you started making it up? You

Fran 15:50
think I would have done? I don't know. I mean, I guess, I reckon my IQ had taken a significant hit by that point. Okay, you're

Scott Benner 15:57
a little dopey, yeah? So you're managing with syringes or pens at that point, pens, yeah, and you're just thinking like there's got to be a better way to do this than to be poking myself all these times. Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's kind of interesting, isn't it? How long did it take you to realize something like that actually existed

Fran 16:16
10 years I found out from the podcast about a year and two months ago, something like that, when

Scott Benner 16:23
you heard were you like those motherfuckers ripped me off? Yeah,

Fran 16:27
I think I swore out loud.

Scott Benner 16:33
Oh, my God. I've had this. I feel like I've told this on the podcast before, but I've had this moment where I forget what it was, and the story would have more validity if I could remember. But I used to do this, like running a little bit with my friends, where I was like, I was such a good joke. And then one day, we were sitting watching Seinfeld and first run, and it was right there, like they were doing it on the TV show. And I turned to my friend Mike, and I was like, if you sold my ideas, I will kill you the first time you realize you're not the only one having a thought. You know what? I mean, yeah, that's fantastic, though. Have you listen? Have you thought of any other things, like, maybe you got a gem in there somewhere,

Fran 17:11
quite possibly, I think I had, I did have this idea about hooking up your like, fitness tracker, like a Fitbit or something to like, a private instance of some kind of AI, and then stick your, you know, OmniPod data in there, and Dexcom data and stuff like that, and have it look for patterns. And presumably, eventually that that will be where it goes. You know, everyone has their own AI that essentially manages their blood sugar, similar to OmniPod five, but like smarter and drawing a lot more conclusions about, you know, the patterns of your life and when you're ill, what does that do to your blood sugar and all those sorts of things.

Scott Benner 17:52
Do you think it would upset you? Fran, if I told you that tomorrow's episode is with somebody who's talking about something called Vision AI, which is a thing you can actually put your Dexcom data to through your night Scout, and it will know what your blood sugar is, and you can ask it questions about your blood sugar. And it's also AI based, and it has access to, like, over 100 episodes of the podcast to help it answer things you think you'd be like, Oh, that's what I meant. I

Fran 18:21
think I'd be like, excellent. Oh, okay, let's get this going as soon as possible. Well, it's, I really don't need to own this. You

Scott Benner 18:27
don't need to own the idea. Well, it's, it's, it's, it already exists. It's um, idea brought out by a gentleman named Justin and his wife, and they approached me a number of months ago and asked if I would just help them. At first, they were just looking for, like, a little bit of advice, you know, kind of back end advice. And then at some point they said, do you think you'd be comfortable if we absorbed some of the podcast into the knowledge of the AI? And I was like, I was already working on that, but it sounds like you're way ahead of me, and you have the infrastructure for it that I don't have. So I was like, you know, go ahead. Like, go ahead and do it. And so it's pretty cool, yeah, yeah, I do believe that you're right about that being really valuable in the future for people. So any other ideas about time travel, perhaps something that hasn't been gotten to yet. Like, feels like you're, you're on what they call the wrong side of the cutting edge.

Fran 19:30
I do, go ahead, I feel like one of those, like, out of the box type thinker. People like, I have weird ideas, and people look at me like that, that's crazy. And I'm like, Yeah, but no, it does actually feel like it's going to be better, though. And it just seems like it often takes people a long time to be persuaded by things just because they're new. Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:49
yeah. There's going to be a lot of uncertainty, especially with AI like people, there are going to be a lot of people who are just like, This is not a good idea. Or, you know. Know it's gonna, I don't know, blow up the planet, or do blah blah. I don't know what people are gonna be concerned about. And I mean, God bless them, I could be I could be wrong, but I feel like, very strongly, actually, I feel like this is gonna help people with diabetes significantly. The idea of this stuff eventually, like right now, vision, I think, has like a 24 hour knowledge of your blood sugar. But when they expand that, and it suddenly has three days or seven days of your blood sugar knowledge, and you can start asking it like, do you see any patterns with Milo's? Are they coming? You know, after meals, before meals? Like, what do you like? What do you think is going on? And something that can actually kind of step back, see all that, and just make suggestions to you, for you to look at is a big deal, or how about, I don't know when this will be out. This week, I worked on something where I took the episodes of the podcast. There's three episodes of the podcast called the math behind the math behind basal the math behind insulin sensitivity, the math behind insulin to car ratio. I forget exactly what they are. I let those episodes be absorbed into I use chat GPT four. Oh, and then I said, you know, read this transcript and explain to me how to, you know how the 500 rule works, for example. And it explained it back to me, and I was like, Oh, my God, that's fascinating. It took that out of the conversation that Jenny and I had. I said to it, do you know the math of this? And it said, Yes. And showed me the math, and I said, Can you turn that into an app that I can embed on my website? And it was like, boom, here's code. I dropped the code into like, a non public page of my website so I could see it. And then, sure enough, there it was. I'm like, so then I did it with, like, how to find your basal insulin. And I was like, there it was. It's an app to figure out where your starting point is for your basal. And I said, Well, that's very cool, I swear to you. Fran, then I went back to it, and I said, I think this needs a disclaimer. Needs a disclaimer. And it like wrote disclaimer language. I read it, I was like, that disclaimer language looks good. And I said, I think the disclaimer language should be attached to a radial button, and until you agree to it, the app doesn't open on the page. And then it rewrote the code again.

Fran 22:18
And now that's really cool, because it doesn't always work first time like that, right?

Scott Benner 22:22
You gotta know how to talk to it. Know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And when you stop and really think about it, the math behind figuring out, if you have, you know, if you how your basal insulin should be set up is pretty common. It's it's common math that every diabetes educator knows, but we don't know it. And, like, you know, as people walking around, and you see, people get diagnosed all the time, and they're, they're, you know, their person says, oh, here, this is your starting basal. It almost feels like they're magical. Like, oh, you just knew it's point five an hour. How did you know that? Ah, you know, like, I don't worry about it, but they're just doing this formula. And then you go out and you know, your your seven year old gains 40 pounds over the next five years, and people are running around going, I don't understand why their blood sugar's high all the time. Well, you could maybe look at your basal and so again, like, maybe you haven't moved it up enough, or or whatever. And you could just go back to these things once in a while. Plug in your weight. I'm moderately active. This is my age. Where do you think my basal should be about? Boom, there's the answer. Like, geez, you know what I mean? Like, how simple AI will do that for people all the time, and once you get accustomed to it, imagine going in division one day. I'm gonna have to bring this up to the owner. But imagine going in division one day and saying, go back and look at my blood sugars over an amount of time, and then look at my settings. Here's my current weight. Do you think there's any adjustments to be made here? And it being able to say, Oh, I think your insulin sensitivity should change. There's nothing crazy about that that's very, very doable, you know. So I like your ideas, brilliant. Yeah, they're fantastic. Okay, so you do get good knowledge. I mean, because people are telling you to pre bolus 10 years ago, that's fantastic. You know, they got you off of just start with this, count your own carbs very quickly. Does it keep progressing? Like, how do you end up finding the podcast 10 years later? Like, what's in between that leads you here, and now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion Terry. How long have you had diabetes? June 2025,

Speaker 1 24:33
it'll be 50 years. I'm very much involved in the diabetic community in a lot of areas, and I helped start the walk here in Lincoln Nebraska,

Scott Benner 24:42
when you were first diagnosed, what was management like?

Speaker 1 24:45
I started out on beef, pork insulin. And I tell people jokingly that I used to smell like a bacon cheeseburger.

Scott Benner 24:53
Tell me about the impact of Medtronic technology. Finger stick is only a

Speaker 1 24:57
point in time, and that first. Years for me was extremely difficult because I had high blood sugars all over the place. The CGM, to me, was the lifesaver.

Scott Benner 25:11
Prolonged hyperglycemia can lead to serious health problems and long term complications. Early, inconsistent management of hyperglycemia is critical. Learn more at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper,

Fran 25:24
so I got all that information pretty much up front, and then in about three months, my a 1c went from 13 to 7.7 and then I got no more new information for about 10 years. And my a 1c stayed at 7.7 for that whole time. And I guess really, I just assumed that there wasn't other information, which, looking back on it, was obviously a really dumb thing to think. But like, you spend so much energy just keeping going day to day that you don't stop and think maybe there's something bigger here that I haven't been told. And then I went to see. It was a little show in a tiny, tiny Theater in London somewhere, and it was a guy doing kind of like DJing, but it was also a comedy show, and it was all about diabetes. So he had type one, and he was, you know, making hilarious musical puns, like going low, low, low, low, you know, that kind of thing. And it was just like an hour of that, and he mentioned the podcast, and I was like, Oh, wait, so I hold

Scott Benner 26:39
on, friend. You're blowing my mind here. There's a man in England doing a stage show about diabetes, and he brings up my podcast during it.

Fran 26:51
I mean, if I remember rightly, I think he might have actually mentioned the podcast, or at the very least, he talked about communities around type one, and more generally, maybe then I Googled it. He might have actually named the podcast.

Scott Benner 27:03
Oh, you know, that makes me like, I feel touched by that. That's something I know. I thought you'd like that. No, it made me a little weepy inside, not like out, really. I didn't get an actual moisture in my eyes, but I had that feeling in the top of my chest, you know what? I mean? Yeah, yeah. I was like, Oh, this is lovely. But then I imagined you singing that song again, that just killed the feeling completely. Oh, that's so nice. So you were like, I'm fascinated by the idea that, like somebody, you had a big high number. Somebody gave you some rules, that number went down significantly. And you probably thought that worked pretty

Fran 27:38
much, yeah. Kept saying, Oh, you're doing pretty well. Let's see if we can reduce those spikes at mealtimes with longer pre boluses. And I was like, I'm a teacher. I get like, 45 minutes for lunch. This is the best I'm going to do. But yeah, that was pretty much all I had for the next nine or 10 years. So

Scott Benner 27:53
you think if you don't go see the man sing, you don't go looking around more, and you you live a seven, seven, A, 1c, existence your whole life, quite possibly, no guiding. How about that? Whether he said juicebox podcast, or you just heard community and you went and looked so now, when you go find other people talking about it, what's that initial feeling like when you go, Wait a minute, am I listening to somebody over here with a five, five? This guy's got a six to like, how does that strike you?

Fran 28:22
So I basically listened to the podcast, like, I don't know, four hours a day for the next two weeks or something. I was just sort of head on in the background the whole time, and my brain sort of exploded sort of continuously for that entire time. And I had an end of appointment coming up, and this is where the whole story gets really intense. Again, for context, I'm also autistic, which most of the time is like, you know, just kind of the quiet little thing in the background, but just sometimes I'll kind of get worried and anxious about something, and then I'll sort of feel very intense about fixing it. And that's what happened here. So I made myself a great big list of things that I wanted based on the podcast, and then at the beginning of the list, I put the answers to all the questions that my endo asked every time I saw him, because I didn't want to talk about that. I wanted to give him the piece of paper and then talk about the stuff I wanted to talk about. So I was very prepared. Feeling good, I went into my appointment, he insisted on asking me all of those questions verbally anyway, despite having a copy of my nice long list in front of him, he talked a lot, very slowly, as he always did, and we got nearly to the end of the appointment before we really talked about any of these things I wanted, like OmniPod and Dexcom. I was doing my best to hold in my frustration, but also be as efficient as possible, because, you know, he's got, like, 15 minutes to see me, I want to get this done. And basically all I got was like, Oh, I don't know if we can give you a pump, which was frustrating, because he'd mentioned pumps to me three times before. And then if every time it was, oh, we'll talk about it next time. And it's not like I was going, Oh, no, I don't want to pump. I just every time. And my answer was, I don't know, it sounds a little invasive, which to me, is not negative enough that a doctor should immediately give up, right? Yeah,

Scott Benner 30:07
but then when you finally came back and showed initiative, now they're now, it's not, it's off the table now,

Fran 30:13
well, he said he just didn't know. He didn't know the answer. He wasn't even telling me no. And I was like, but what? How? How can you the Endo, like the top of the food chain, not know the answer to this question? So anyway, that was very frustrating. I went home and had, honestly, a pretty significant meltdown on the phone to my parents, but I did manage to get transferred to, like, a different group of doctors in the hospital. They started, you know, contacting me. One of them was like a, like a dietitian slash diabetes nurse, and I got in contact with him, and I started having lots of appointments with him, just sort of trying to figure out the other stuff that was going on, which I'll tell you about in a minute. And eventually, I got switched to a new Endo. I got approved for the OmniPod dash, and I got the dash. And then about three months after that, the OmniPod five came out, and I got that almost immediately when it was available in the UK. So I did get what I wanted. Just gonna

Scott Benner 31:17
say, I know the man that went over to the UK to set that up for OmniPod, it's like, it's so funny. You don't think about it like that. But somebody from here had to go, all right, I'll go live there. And then, you know, went over there, set up an office, got the whole thing together. Took, takes a lot of time to get something like that happening. It's really interesting how it to see the end of it, where you just get it. It's pretty cool. Actually, did you ever figure out why the doctor slow walked you? Or did you just, like, move on, like, I don't I'm not gonna deal with him anymore. I'll go to somebody else. Yeah,

Fran 31:49
I mostly just kind of fired him, to be honest. Like I tried to do it as gently as possible, and, you know, not be rude about it or anything, but I just sort of said, like, Could I be switched to this other one who I've heard good things about from other patients, and who knows lots of about pumps and things. You

Scott Benner 32:06
should have said it very slowly over 15 minutes while you were telling him so that it was, I mean, quite possibly as frustrating as possible for him. Yeah, you live 10 years, basically within a 1c in the sevens, injecting with a pen. Yeah? And no CGM,

Fran 32:24
I started funding FreeStyle Libre after about a year and a half. You did that out of pocket, yeah, which was just not cheap. After a while, I managed to persuade the NHS to start paying for that. For me, I think I was still self funding for a year or two, something like that, praying. You know, I

Scott Benner 32:44
don't know how this happens. Like, yesterday, I interviewed somebody from India today, England. I don't know how that happens, like, because it's not like, I put out a call and I'm like, if you don't live in America, I want to talk to you like, it just, it's random. But she was telling me yesterday that her libres. She can, she can only get the libre one, and the sensors cost her the equivalent of a third of her rent. And then she started, yeah, she started telling me what stuff cost there, and it's, my God, it's as insane as it is anywhere else. And even maybe more so, really interesting. So you're self funding a libre for how long? I think it was a year or two. And then you pushed and got, what do you got? Dexcom after that?

Fran 33:27
No, I stayed on the libres, actually. And after a while, switched to libre two, and I didn't get the Dexcom until I was getting onto the dash and preparing for omnipodent pod five,

Scott Benner 33:41
I see you're moving towards that. How did you like libre it

Fran 33:43
worked well for me, yeah, nothing, yeah, particularly once it become, once it became pretty much a scene. Basically, the scanning was good. It was a huge improvement on the finger pricks, but the CGM functionality was really cool.

Scott Benner 33:57
Yeah. I mean, not having to scan it is a big deal. As far as accuracy, do you see a difference between Lee Berry and Dexcom?

Fran 34:05
I think maybe the Dexcom is a tiny little bit more delayed, but nothing major. Okay, I actually wore both, both together for a little while at the beginning, just because I wondered. And yeah, it seemed to be pretty

Scott Benner 34:20
similar, gotcha. And you're wearing a g6 now, obviously, because you're wearing OmniPod five.

Fran 34:24
Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:25
Okay. How do you like having the algorithm?

Fran 34:27
Oh, I love it. So okay, so this is the second half of this year's story where this becomes really interesting. Is about a month after that really frustrating endo appointment, I started having lows at night, and like a lot of lows at night, every single night, I was having multiple lows, and they were very persistent, and then it was going high in the morning. And I don't think it was the hypo treatments, because I stopped. I tried starting myself high in the evening, and then I watched it go down, but not quite high. Post, I didn't need to treat, and then came back up again, and there was this huge drop, like, really, quite a large drop, and then it was going back up again. I was like, What am I? What is going on here? Yeah, this dietitian who was great, he's really good at talking through, like, dosing and stuff. We fiddled with stuff. We changed my basals. I was already splitting the dose, so we fiddled that around. Nothing was working. The only thing that fixed it, after a good three months of multiple hypos a night, was the dash. And I did that by, you know, they they get you on the dash, and they're like, so you probably go with a fairly flat basal rate all day. And I was like, No, that's not what I'm doing. I'm gonna go for naught point eight an hour during the day, and at night, we're doing naught point one, five in the middle of the night. And it kind of ramps up and down like the end of that, and immediately perfectly flat blood sugar all night. Yeah? So not only do I have this weird basal profile, but also it completely changed overnight, yeah,

Scott Benner 35:57
that's the interesting part, right? Like you were doing fine, and then all of the sudden, is there any hindsight that helps you? There? Do you have any changes in like, God, I I'm sorry, menstruation, stuff. Like, I don't know. Like, why I, like, no, why did I think I was never gonna have to talk about this if I had a podcast? But, like, stress, uh, big life change, nothing that you can kind of look back on and go something shifted. I'm

Fran 36:24
autistic, Scott. I've been stressed since I was about six. No, nothing. The only thing that changed, well, okay, admittedly, I was more stressed because my expectations around my blood sugar had changed very suddenly. There was a bit of extra stress there, but that was by no means the first time that had happened. You

Scott Benner 36:45
didn't start exercising. Did you start using cocaine? Like, nothing big, right? It just was like, No, nothing. How about that? No.

Fran 36:53
Just my expectations around diabetes changed and my diabetes changed at the same

Scott Benner 36:58
time. How about that? I'll be down, and then the doctors are not interested

Fran 37:01
in this. They don't want to look into why that might have been or anything like that.

Scott Benner 37:05
Oh, no. You tell them about the lows. They just talk about, like, shutting off. Like, did they talk what did they do? Anything? They just tell you to treat it. Did they tell you to eat a snack? Like, what kind of banal bullshit Did they give you

Fran 37:17
while I was on pens? It was, yeah, treat it. Consider running yourself higher at the start of the night. And yet, to be honest, pens can't fix this. So I was like, good, so I'll be on the dash really soon then. And they were like, well, but I got funding relatively quickly compared to most people. I think because I was just really pushy about it. Before

Scott Benner 37:37
the pump, you were shooting basal insulin once a day. What kind of insulin was

Fran 37:41
it twice a day? And it was levemere lever mirror,

Scott Benner 37:45
and you were always getting low at the same time overnight. Did you try moving the lever mirror around? Oh,

Fran 37:52
yeah, didn't work. Yeah. I drew diagrams. There was a whole scientific investigation going on, and at the end of that, the dietician guy was like, Yeah, we This just can't be done.

Scott Benner 38:02
I wonder if everyone listening isn't imagining, like I am, like that you have a diary somewhere with, like, every amazing thing that's ever been invented and and you've got it sketched out, but the date is always three years after it was invented. And then in there also is your love mirror diagram and everything. Scott, I think we can take oil out of the ground and turn it to gasoline and run engines with it. I've been having some big thoughts about that. Oh my god. I love the diagram idea about the lever mirror, though, but I know what you mean, like, because you're because you've already learned to how did you learn to split lever mirror? By the way?

Fran 38:47
I think it was suggested by one of my doctors, to be fair, just to get it a bit smoother. I think I was on Lantus before that, and that was once a day. Yeah.

Scott Benner 38:59
I mean, splitting lever mirror is, like a classic use of it, but I just didn't know, like, it's interesting. You do get decent information from your doctors, more so than a lot of people, actually, yeah, yeah. But then they fall short in other places. Sometimes, I guess this is what it is, though, you know, you do really have to chase down the ones that can help you. And,

Fran 39:21
like, to be fair to them, it's only recent that really, you could actually reasonably get hold of omnipodney pod on the NHS. Like, Oh, yeah. I

Scott Benner 39:29
mean, yeah, you live in a country that's, like, the size of Jersey. What's that?

Fran 39:32
You guys are just really far ahead of us? Yeah, yeah. I

Scott Benner 39:35
mean, we have a whole, like, I don't know if you've noticed, it's a we're a superpower, tons of land, money, missiles, we could pretty much do whatever we want. You're, I mean, you're living over there on a patch of dirt, like, it's, it's like, as big as, like, one of our highways, you know what? I mean, like, it's just, Oh yeah, absolutely, don't make us send Texas after you wait what

Fran 39:57
we do have cars here. Oh,

Scott Benner 39:58
I know. But you put the steering wheel. Was on the wrong side.

Fran 40:00
That's true.

Scott Benner 40:02
How'd you mess that up?

Fran 40:06
Maybe we just like to be different. Fran,

Scott Benner 40:08
I gotta tell you something. There's a whole like thing to be made there. Like, how does that like? Why does that matter? Like, why does some people drive on one side of the road and some people drive on the other side of the road? Why is that not a universal thing,

Fran 40:20
organizational issues, I guess, yeah, just interesting. Two people were like, We need to be able to drive. I mean, when we had carts, you could sit on either side of the car, right? Yeah. And then somebody invented cars, and somebody over on the other side of the pond was like, Hey, that's a great idea. I'll build one like that. But wasn't looking closely enough. So they, I don't know it. Just had to pick one side or the other. I guess you

Scott Benner 40:41
got any diagrams of cars in that book of yours over there, 1970 drawn in 1995 and it says, I think we could revolutionize this horse thing. I refuse to drive a car. They're terrified, really. For you you don't like Yeah.

Fran 40:57
I mean, I passed my test first time because my parents told me that if I passed, I wouldn't have to drive again.

Scott Benner 41:03
What a parenting move. I love driving. I don't drive enough. I feel like there are days when I'll, like, in the middle of the day, like, I don't know, one of the things you might want to learn about being a podcaster is that I can kind of make my own schedule to some degree. And there'll be times that I'm just sitting here working, and I'll stand up and I'll be like, I'm going out. And I sometimes don't believe that the place I'm going is important. I just get in my car, I put the windows down, I put on some pretty obnoxious music, and I drive for a little bit, and at some point I enjoy driving a little faster to let out my adrenaline. But none of this is appealing to you.

Fran 41:39
Oh no, that's, that's fine.

Unknown Speaker 41:46
Oh my god.

Fran 41:46
I mean, I have to say, like, I live in a world of privilege, because London has good public transport, so I didn't need to drive. Well,

Scott Benner 41:54
yeah. I mean, you're, you are in a city, so yeah, I take your point, like, but I've, like, like, a couple of months from now, Arnold go back to college, and I'm gonna go down there to help her get set up in a new place. And I'm looking forward to, like, driving 700 miles, like, by myself for a full day, like just getting in a car. And just none of that sounds attractive to you at all.

Unknown Speaker 42:17
Not much. Okay,

Scott Benner 42:19
no problem. Can I ask about this? Because I always feel like people hear this from adults and say, Where did this come from? So like, you're 33 you feel like you've been you know, you've known you've had autism your whole life. Like, how has that impacted you as a child, and how does it work as an adult? How do you get diagnosed? And why do you, in my opinion, like, just from talking to you for 45 minutes now, like, if that's not a thing, you would have told me that is not a thing I would have guessed about you. So can you walk me through all that?

Fran 42:57
I actually got diagnosed at the age of 28 okay, I don't know. So when I was a kid, I had, like, a lot of anxiety and a lot of meltdowns. Academically, I was ahead, but some of the kind of social stuff was a lot airplanes used to cause major meltdowns. I didn't really like the cinema because it was too loud. Apparently, those sort of situations were just short with anxiety, things like that. I don't know. Nobody ever really thought to find out, I guess. But then I sort of suspected as I grew up, and then I met somebody who he's autistic, and we chatted for a bit, and and he, he just kind of asked me, like, like, had you guessed that I was autistic? And I was like, I think, I think you've mentioned it in fact. And then I said, Well, I think, I think, you know, it's possible that I'm also autistic. And he went, Yeah, you are. I was like, Oh, okay. So then I got diagnosed, and

Scott Benner 43:59
explained a lot, and did it help you getting the diagnosis, like, how did it, how did it comfort you, or, or, or help you?

Fran 44:06
There's, there's a kind of description that I think fits quite well. It it's really comforting to know that you're a normal zebra, not a broken horse. Okay, say

Scott Benner 44:20
zebra one more time for me now I kind

Fran 44:21
of have a word please.

Scott Benner 44:23
Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that so, but it's not like, I mean, it's not like you have a job, right, and you taught kids. I mean, not Well, it sounds like at the end, but in so I was doing an

Fran 44:35
excellent job. Thank you,

Unknown Speaker 44:38
even when you couldn't hear them.

Fran 44:42
Hey, they don't necessarily need to be talking in order for them to be doing that, not all the time. The mute button was a toggle thing. You know, you turn them on and off

Scott Benner 44:50
when you the mute button might be the name of your episode, by the way. So, so there's a comfort level to it, like, is there just because, you know, there's this. Kind of like, I mean, it's hard not to have this feeling that, like nowadays, like in the last handful of years, everyone feels like they want to be diagnosed with something I don't even mean, like autism. Like, people really want to be labeled, isn't it funny? Like, how things change? Like, you know, when I was growing up, it was like, I'm different. Don't label me. Don't lump me in with those people. Like, that's how everyone thought. And now they're like, tell me what's happening to me, what's wrong with me, what category do I fit in? It's interesting how people's like minds shift so like, that helps you though to know where you fit.

Fran 45:38
I mean, I think there's two aspects of it right. First one being society and people in general are a lot better at looking at a label and not necessarily assuming that everyone that uses that label is the same, yeah. And the other one is, is just, I think, okay, if I said, Scott, what's your job? And I and you weren't allowed to use the word podcaster, you'd have to go, oh, you know, well, I do this thing where I sit in my chair and I talk to somebody, but they're not really there. They're somewhere else. And we talk about this stuff, and then I put it somewhere where other people can hear it later. And you have to do that every time you know and explaining yourself becomes difficult, and that means that being understood is difficult, and particularly when you're autistic, that's been a problem your whole life anyway, and it's very frustrating, and it it makes it harder to connect with people. I think

Scott Benner 46:33
what a great explanation. It's fantastic. Thank you. That very clarified it for me. Okay, did you have that written in your book, or did you come up with that off the top of your head, I

Fran 46:42
guess off the top of my head, but with the benefit of having thought about it before?

Scott Benner 46:46
Yeah, no, it's not your first time putting it into words, but I I really appreciate that, because I'm trying to understand that. Like, why do like? It just feels like everybody wants to be something. And I don't know if that's me being old, you know what I mean, and like, but it does feel like that to me, like everybody's like, I want to do this. You're like, tell me I fit here. Or like, I'm like, Just go be yourself. But your explanation is really clarifying. If you were 25 in 1980 How do you think people would have described you? People already

Fran 47:16
described me as weird. I described myself as weird. I decided to reclaim that word very early in my life. Yeah, I think they just think I'm slightly weird. You know, you heard of Uncanny Valley. I think, I think people get that with me when they don't know me very well. Okay, I think it gets in the way when I'm auditioning for musicals

Scott Benner 47:34
as well. You do the singing and the dancing I do. I do

Fran 47:38
a lot of the singing and the dancing just for funsies, not a professional thing or anything,

Scott Benner 47:42
but it's lovely. How do you do that? Is that a group of, like, a group that you have, you belong to a club, I don't know what to call it, but, like, how does that happen? Yeah, it's

Fran 47:52
essentially, it's an amdram society amateur dramatics, yeah, just kind of the thing we do in the evenings

Scott Benner 47:59
is this because you don't like Dungeons and Dragons? I do like Dungeons and Dragons. I

Fran 48:03
do that for weekends. I

Scott Benner 48:04
was just kidding. I knew you did. I was just checking. So I'm oddly good at picking out people's things. It's possible, if someone said, Scott, what do you do for a living? I'd say I generalize, but I'm really accurate about it.

Fran 48:20
Well, to be fair, Scott, you don't get that many points for figuring out that I'm a raging nerd. It's kind of obvious.

Scott Benner 48:28
Fine, but the people who are surprised just now, like, how do they know that? Let them be surprised by it. Okay, to them. I look like, I look like a soothsayer to them. So what that be? Yeah, the last line of your note to me, I don't understand shameless bribery in the form of a limerick.

Unknown Speaker 48:47
Yeah? So I have a poem,

Scott Benner 48:50
but you have a poem that you want to share with me? Yeah? Okay, all right, go ahead. See. No,

Fran 48:55
I didn't know how difficult it was going to be to get onto this podcast, and I wanted it to be successful, so I thought I'd use bribery.

Scott Benner 49:01
I was just like, I don't know what this means, but I do know what a limerick is, and does it doesn't start with There once was a girl in Nantucket. Does it? Because I don't want to hear that one. It doesn't, okay, okay,

Fran 49:13
all right. Here we go. There once was a guy named Scott. We think he's smart. He says, Not if your blood sugar's high and you want to know why he says, Don't overthink, take a shot.

Scott Benner 49:23
Oh, my God, that's fantastic. How quickly is that in your book? That's got to be in your book, right?

Fran 49:28
It's on a Google Doc. Okay, Google.

Scott Benner 49:30
Your diary is a Google Doc. But how long does it take to come up with that?

Fran 49:34
Oh, like, two or three minutes. No, see,

Scott Benner 49:38
I could never do that. I don't think there's something I like the sing song. There's like a beautiful sing songy thing to it. I'm very not well. Thank you. I'm touched.

Fran 49:47
Thank you. Well, you know you don't like a proper compliment too often, do you?

Scott Benner 49:53
No, I know it does work better this way. I'm learning right now, actually, as you're doing it, because I can ignore the part where you said. I was smart, and just go to the funny part of it. Exactly, yeah, that's good for me. You think I'm smart?

Fran 50:06
Yeah, Scott, you got my a 1c from 7.7 to like, 5.6 in six months.

Scott Benner 50:12
I got your a 1c from seven, seven to five, six in six months. Don't leave out the part where I did it over the internet. I don't know you, and I never spoke to you. Exactly, yeah, no, I'm pretty much a genius, but I don't want it to be said out loud, because I think it ruins my ever man quality. Okay, let me share something with you. I hope this is funny for people. I was texting with a friend yesterday, and she paid me a compliment about the about the podcast, and hold on, let me I want to find it for you. Okay, she said you have Scott Benner, I don't think you realize how unique you are. So she was talking about, like, diabetes organizations and how I appear to be outpacing them significantly on doing the thing that they say they're doing, which is helping people. She says, you have this advantage that they don't have you have you. And she says at the end, I you know, I don't think you realize that. And I said, Hold on a second. I'm sorry. And then I lost my place. I said, you're very nice. But trust me, I know it's just distasteful to say out loud, I appreciate that. You know as well. I don't think I'm I actually, I would have to tell you that in most walks of life. I'm, I'm a fairly average person. I do think that I'm, I'm good at building a narrative like so there's this thing that's happening, if you're listening to the podcast, that you don't know is happening. So Monday show and Tuesday's show don't seem connected, and they're not. And so I don't run themes that are obvious when you look at a micro snapshot of the podcast, but if you stick with the podcast and you keep listening, there's a macro idea that covers the whole thing. And if you stay in it long enough, like you did, you power listen for hours and hours and hours for months like so you basically just got your 10,000 hours of the podcast real quickly. There is a theme that is spread out so widely that you almost can't see how it ties together. It just kind of magically ties together as you're listening. And I will tell you, and I will take full credit for this. I am doing that on purpose. I fully believe that, yeah, but I don't know how I'm doing it, and that you have to believe too. Like, there, there are people in my life. Isabel's one of them. She'll remind me once in a while what I'm doing, because she's like, I don't think you know, and I do think that's true, like, to some degree, like, I just get up every day do the thing I do. I don't have notes. Nothing's written down. I've never planned anything. All I have is a whiteboard with words like scribbled all over it. And I look at that board sometimes while I'm recording, sometimes while I'm working, and then I go, okay, that part's next. And then I move in that direction. But you guys don't see it, because I'm not like a person who's like, this week we're gonna talk about this, you know what I mean? Or this episode is about this thought. I would much rather have a conversation like the one I just had with you, which I think is entertaining and interesting, and then let the takeaways be what they are for whoever can take whatever is in this one. And if I went back, I could thoughtfully hammer apart our conversation and tell you where the lessons are in it. But I don't even care, like people will take them out, or they won't, or they'll get the same lesson out of a different conversation later. I don't like with a mallet, like teaching. Do you know what I mean? Like, I just I like it being there. You'll absorb it. If you want it, it's yours. When you realize that, that seems like the best time to me to make a change, like it's not going to help if I sit down and tell you, Hey, you probably shouldn't eat cupcakes every day. If I said that, people would think I was a bore and terrible, and they wouldn't listen. But if you listen to this podcast, there is an underlying message in it somewhere that you should eat better. But I've never once said it out loud, and that's kind of how I think about this whole thing. But also to say that I think about it consciously

Speaker 2 54:38
is not accurate,

Scott Benner 54:43
and so I don't really know how to explain it. And so often I don't even know what it is I'm doing. I'm just doing it. And then once in a while, Isabelle reminds me, or my friend texts me or something, and tells me, I can't believe what you accomplished this week. And you know, on Tuesday's show, and by the way. I while they're saying that, I don't even know what the hell they're talking about. So it's a really weird position to ban to not be able to explain yourself completely.

Speaker 2 55:08
But I guess maybe here we are. So

Scott Benner 55:11
I appreciate that you liked it and that it helped you. That means a lot to me.

Fran 55:16
Yeah, it really did good. I'm glad, and it will continue helping. I hope so. I'm gonna have to listen to tomorrow's episode immediately, yes,

Scott Benner 55:22
to find out about vision AI and and I would love to tell you what's and being sincere about this, I would love to tell you what's on my whiteboard. I was gonna ask people will rip me off if I say it on the podcast. So I can't do it. I learned that years ago, where I'd say something and then I'd wake up and someone else would be doing it on a website or a podcast, and I'd be like, well, that's a very unique idea. Where'd they get that idea from? If you hear me mentioned on the podcast, it's because I already have it recorded, and I know I'm maybe

Fran 55:54
that's where I'm going wrong. Maybe all my ideas are just getting stolen, and that's why, yeah, Henry Ford,

Scott Benner 56:05
my God, I love that you dreamt up the I really do love that you jumped up the insulin pump.

Fran 56:09
Yeah, should have, should have looked into it, yeah. Definitely

Scott Benner 56:13
could have, like, Googled it. It would have been quicker. Yeah. Is there a device that helps you put insulin in without a needle? And you would have been like, Oh, my God, there it is. Is that the Autism?

Fran 56:24
I don't know. I feel like it's, it's so intertangled with my personality in general that it's quite hard to know what's autism and what's just like, something that I'm quite good at, or something that I'm not very good at, what really, yeah, because you, you're like, This

Scott Benner 56:40
is a good idea. You believed in yourself, and you kind of went down. Kind of went down the rabbit hole with it. I must have no self esteem, which people are probably laughing about now, after I just said a bunch of nice stuff about myself, but because I if I had that thought, I would immediately think, if I thought it, then somebody else has already thought it. It's interesting. I doubt myself constantly like that. I

Fran 56:59
guess I probably did think that. And then, because I hadn't heard about it from the doctors, maybe I just kind of assumed that it couldn't be done yet, or been tried and didn't work very well, or something like that. I guess I didn't really think about it in that much detail. No, I

Scott Benner 57:16
think it's fast. I really do find that whole like aspect of the conversation fascinating, because I would have been like, Oh, if you thought of it, somebody else has already thought of it before. I definitely had that problem growing up. Like, if I was good at something, I just assumed everybody must be good at it, because there'd be no way I'd be good at something that somebody else wasn't, but that might be from being brought up poorly. Did you have good parents? Yeah, yeah.

Fran 57:39
They handled all the autism stuff like really well, especially considering that they weren't given any actual advice about it. They did make me go on airplanes quite a lot, but they put up with the constant, you know, 12 hours of crying very well. And my mum's catchphrase was, normal is boring, which is probably become like, a foundational part of my psyche, and it's kind of how I went through life, not feeling kind of crap about myself, I think, yeah,

Scott Benner 58:10
I was gonna say you seem to have an incredibly cheery outlook. Is that accurate?

Unknown Speaker 58:15
Yeah, I think so.

Scott Benner 58:16
I mean, you come off that way. So yeah, yeah. Like, I haven't heard one part of I have diabetes or this or that, and it's holding me down, or I'm upset, like you have anxiety, but the anxiety seems generalized, not about specifically about your diabetes or about anything else. And you don't, I haven't, I haven't heard you lament anything at all.

Fran 58:42
Well, if I was going to lament something, it would be the fact that I am tired all the time, and that has been true pretty much my whole life. And haven't been able to figure out. Why

Scott Benner 58:51
did you have your thyroid checked? Yeah, it's

Fran 58:55
been in range, even mostly within what you would call range, right? But weirdly, it's changed a lot within that range over the last four years. How? So it was not point eight, not point nine, 2.5 and then 1.3 I don't know if that's normal for it to jump around like that.

Scott Benner 59:15
Have they ever imaged your thyroid to see if you have nodules or anything like that, or done antibody testing.

Fran 59:21
They haven't imaged my thyroid. I think they did antibody testing for type one,

Scott Benner 59:27
but not for the thyroid.

Fran 59:28
Nothing for thyroid. Well, listen,

Scott Benner 59:31
that's a that. That's a road to look down. What about um, do you have very heavy periods? Could you have low iron?

Fran 59:38
I don't have any. Actually, the the pill I'm on just makes them not happen, which is glorious. No kidding,

Scott Benner 59:44
fantastic. I'm taking a pill, basically a shot that made me thin, and that's fantastic, too.

Fran 59:51
I was tempted by that too. Oh, it's lovely.

Scott Benner 59:53
Where do you see if you do it, where do you see what that does to your insulin needs, seriously? Well, they won't

Fran 59:57
let me have it. My BMI is not. Really when they are high enough. I'm just, I'm just frustrated that I've got, like, a lot of fat on my stomach, which never existed before, diabetes. And then recently, I was told that it was all like, lipo, hypertrophy, and the exercise and dieting wouldn't make it go away. So that's the thing. What's

Scott Benner 1:00:16
your Do you want to tell me your BMI and does it change? And

Fran 1:00:20
it's like 22 or something. I think it's like almost perfectly on the normal, slightly above maybe, right?

Scott Benner 1:00:25
Well, I'll tell you. Do you think you have insulin resistance issues or no? So

Fran 1:00:31
I definitely do think I did. I for most of that 10 years where I was on pence, it felt like there was no amount of pre bolus that was enough, because it wasn't so much about the speed that the insulin started happening. It was more that it was the peak was too wide for the food. The food would dissolve incredibly quickly in a really sort of narrow peak. The insulin would be a really wide peak. So I'd get a spike in blood sugar, whatever I did. And sometime around about when I got onto the dash, I started asking about Metformin, and I actually, I managed to persuade the NHS to give me Metformin, because I was borderline for PCOS, so I didn't have like, the ultrasound was negative, the blood test was sort of kind of borderline, and symptoms wise, I managed to persuade them that that was a potential positive. So I said, You know what, why don't we try and metformin? Because that's what one does for PCOS. And hey, maybe it'll help with the diabetes. And now, because it's clearly helping with the diabetes, that letting me keep it.

Scott Benner 1:01:40
Did it help with the PCOS? No particular

Fran 1:01:43
difference, as far as I can tell. And as I say, it's, it's only borderline as to whether I even have that. It was just a good way of persuading,

Scott Benner 1:01:53
well, at the moment in America, they're not, they're not allowing glps for anything more than they allow them for. But, I mean, we got Arden one for insulin resistance. It's working astonishingly well. We are adjusting her dose right now because she lost more weight than you know, anybody would have like, liked or guessed. We're trying to find an adjustment spot where the GLP is impacting her blood sugars positively, but allowing her to eat a little more. And we also don't know if she can't eat or if she just got to that point where she was in college. Biggest problem was, is that we started her on a GLP right before she left for school, and so she was gone for six months, and we couldn't really see her, you know what I mean? Like, she's like, my clothes don't fit the same. And we're like, you know, looking at her on FaceTime, we're like, yeah, it looks like you're losing weight and everything. But she lost more than we wanted her to, like, we didn't want her to lose any. And she lost more than we would have wanted her to, I guess is what I should say. But her blood sugars are, like, legit. You know what I mean? Like, fantastic. And like her, high excursions are near, you know, nothingness. There's no lows that you know that are like, frequent, nothing you could point to. So it's all really wonderful. She's using much less insulin. PCOS symptoms are really being like, impacted nicely. There's no, at this moment, scientific study that says that glps work on PCOS symptoms like so you can't just walk into a doctor and say, Hey, I have PCOS, and I hear glps really might help with that. Can I give it a shot? And they're going to say, well, it's not covered for that. And most doctors wouldn't even write you a prescription for it, for that, yeah, but if you had type one, then you could probably see the insulin resistance, and then you can kind of couple them together, but still, insurance here doesn't cover glps for insulin resistance, unless you have type two right now. But I think studies are coming. As a matter of fact, I know of one. I think we'll get to it, but it's probably going to take a bit of time,

Fran 1:03:54
yeah, which is a shame. And I guess the thing is, like, the only place I want to lose any fat is on my stomach. The rest of me, I'm like, Yeah, that'll do. That's fine. And I feel like that's not really what they're for. They're more of a kind of general fat loss, weight loss kind of thing. And you know, if diet and exercise doesn't get rid of lipo hypertrophy, then it feels like GLP wouldn't either, because it would be the same mechanism, but just more efficient? Yes. I mean,

Scott Benner 1:04:22
in a magical world where you know you can get whatever your doctor gives you, and it's not about insurance or coverage or anything like that, I would think for you, if it was valuable, and I don't know that it would be, if it was valuable, it would be more about insulin resistance, PCOS, symptoms, is where you'd want the value. Yeah. And then if you lost some belly fat, then good. You know what I mean? It can't make you lose more weight than you have. That's one way to look at it. But you also don't want to be super in shape and your ass, your legs, your arms and your bellies just like round

Fran 1:04:55
Well, now let's be fair, super in shape is not it's not a phrase that I would use for myself. I. But, like, mostly just because I'm not a big fan of the exercise, but why

Scott Benner 1:05:04
don't you add some sit ups into your dancing? Add some sit ups into your dancing. Yeah,

Fran 1:05:09
you'd think that would be easy. No,

Scott Benner 1:05:13
like, it was so artistic. But in the middle, it was in the middle, she started doing aerobics. It's very strange. Fran, have we not said anything that we should? Have we missed anything?

Fran 1:05:24
I guess I was going to ask you about AAPs, because with OmniPod five, it feels like it's sort of broadly thinking of flattish basal profile is the starting point, right? Because all it does is look at your daily insulin and kind of like spread some out over the day. And because my basal profile seems to be so weird, it feels like its default is probably a bit too much insulin at night and not enough during the day, whereas it feels like if it was sort of looking at my basal profile and saying, Okay, I already know she needs less at night and more in the day. Then it would be more able to remove some insulin to prevent a Hypo at night, and it just might be a bit more effective. And I'm wondering if Android APS would be worth looking into for something like that. Well,

Scott Benner 1:06:21
I mean, you're gonna have more adjust and Iaps, but you're gonna have, I mean, in any of the DIYs, whether it's loop or that, you're gonna have more ability to make changes like so you can go into loop as an example, or Iaps, and set your basal much lower overnight the expectations for what you need. You can change your insulin sensitivity hour by hour if you want to those kinds of things. And so you could make impacts there that I think were more fine tuned than you could with a retail system. But I mean to say that Arden's never had a low overnight isn't true either. You know what I mean, like, so, you know, like, we had dinner last night. Arden went out. Her blood sugar was, like, legitimately fantastic. And then around, like, 1am that when it was I'm looking right now, yeah, she was riding, like, 10 o'clock last night, 9783 8575 then all of a sudden, like it just dropped into the into, like the 60, and she had to adjust. She had to give herself insulin, or, excuse me, carbs and like, that was fine. And then this morning, while sleeping at 6:30am her blood sugar got into the mid 60s for a half a second, but the algorithm pulled it out. Not a lot of lows, but they still happen, and they're not like, I shouldn't say never, but generally speaking, they're not tumbling, crashing. Oh my god. We have to stop this with four juice boxes and, you know, like that kind of thing. Yeah, you're gonna get low on everything. I think at some point. I don't think that's true. You know, completely avoidable. But you know, any of the algorithms that you can do do it yourself are going to be much more user friendly. As far as adjustments go, you just have to decide how much you want to be involved in it,

Fran 1:08:26
yeah, that is always, always going to be a question. Because, I guess the other thing is, you can set like, like profiles on, on the DIYs, right? So I could be like, This is my profile for when I'm ill. And then if I'm getting a cold, I can switch to that. It'll be more aggressive, but then I can switch back when I'm feeling better, whereas with OmniPod, it's got to slowly figure out that I'm ill, adjust for that, and then figure out that I'm not ill anymore, and adjust for that. So you get the highs at the start of being ill, but you get the lows start of being healthy again. And just being able to give it that extra bit of information might just sort of help it adjust more quickly. I guess

Scott Benner 1:09:02
I think that's a completely valid if it's a criticism, but, but, you know, it's a completely valid criticism of OmniPod five. So, yeah, that it doesn't, it's not adjusting. Nothing adjusts on a dime. But that to your point, that other stuff, you can go in and say, Hey, not so much today. You know what I mean? Like, we did it like, Arden's home, you know, just from school for the last couple of days, and her first or second night, I said to her, like, you knock your algorithm back like, by like. So basically, we have like settings. I have a 90 and an 80 like preset in her IEPs, it basically just turns everything down to 80% or everything down to 90% we just buy a push of a button, and I realized that she's gonna get home after all the like stress and anxiety and rushing around at the end of her like her finals and all these overnight. Was pulling and probably not eating well and etc. And so as soon as she got home and she relaxed, I was pretty sure she was gonna get low. So like, night one, I was like, put that thing to 80 before you go to bed. And we've used 80 overnight a couple of times, then 90, and now we're getting back 200% again. Like, because the algorithm is going to the way I have Iaps set up, it's using the dynamic settings. So all the settings, basal, insulin to car ratio, insulin sensitivity, it is dynamically changing them as her needs change. So I basically, yeah. So I basically said, like, look, I think you have less need coming up over these next couple nights. Let's tell it 80% 80% 90% let it see that, and then go head back and tell it, you know, go back to 100% now and then it can. It kind of makes the adjustments smoother, and that's how I've been using it for that. And that is not something you're going to do on OmniPod five. That sounds pretty tempting.

Fran 1:10:59
Yeah. Might have to start doing doing objectives in the background. Well,

Scott Benner 1:11:03
I think after you get your Google Doc all filled up with your notes on it, you'll figure out if you want to do it or not. And then, you know, from there you're building apps, you're also fall into other situations, which is, and I don't know enough about this to speak completely, with a lot of Clarion of statements, I guess. But you know, it is a do it yourself thing, which means that there's some people online who are working on it, and let me be a little obtuse, those people don't always get along with each other, and sometimes some of them do things that aren't great, and, you know, make changes to algorithms, and don't go through the Testing like they should, and just throw them out into the world. And sometimes people over test things and anywhere in between, and you know, then you see a branch break off because these people didn't get along with that person. And like, that's a thing that's happening. Like, you know, OmniPod is never going to be. Like, here's six different versions of OmniPod, five based on the feelings of six different people who work in the office, and so, like, you know there, there is stability with that. That is attractive. You know what I mean. So I don't know. There's a lot to think about, in my opinion. Oh,

Fran 1:12:11
also, while I've got you, if you could just let OmniPod know that being on automated mode but still being able to do extended bonuses would be incredibly helpful. That would be just lovely. I

Scott Benner 1:12:21
think you just lovely. I

Fran 1:12:22
think you just let them, because I have to split, but I have to split almost all my boluses now, which is definitely better, right? Because there is now something I can do that makes the peaks match up a bit better, but it means that I have to do a lot of thinking and remembering and coming back to it later and stuff

Scott Benner 1:12:39
like that. So being able to split a bolus in OmniPod five would be a big deal for you.

Fran 1:12:45
Yeah, split and or extend, I guess, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:48
it is a weird. Well, it's not weird that they removed it, but I see, I mean, I see what they're going for, if that makes sense, you know, like, I definitely get what they're going for. They want, they want a thing that you don't have to think about like that you're not very involved in. And I think that that for a lot of, a great many people, I think that's fantastic, but for you who you wants to make an adjustment, leaves it a little short for you, yeah, because

Fran 1:13:15
it means now that I basically, for most meals, I can't put all the insulin up front, because I'll have a low while I'm eating. Yeah, yeah. No, I

Scott Benner 1:13:24
understand, I mean, I understand why,

Fran 1:13:25
which actually is more thinking than if they just let me do it.

Scott Benner 1:13:29
Let me do it myself. All right. Well, you heard her omnipodge, for the love of God, let him have extended bolus as an automated mode. Yay. I took care of it for you. I I've said this a couple of times in the last couple of days, because people keep asking me for things I'm like, I am not nearly as powerful as you think I am, but I certainly will mention it

Fran 1:13:49
to somebody you know more people from OmniPod that I do, so I'm counting that as a win. They are lovely people

Scott Benner 1:13:53
too. Actually, 100% true. Okay. Well, thank you very much for doing this with me. I really do appreciate it. Thank you. Would you? Would you hold on one second for me? Thanks.

The episode you just enjoyed was sponsored by Medtronic diabetes. Learn more about hyperglycemia and what you can do about it at Medtronic diabetes.com/hyper a huge thanks to a long time sponsor, ever since 365 learn more and get started today at Eversense cgm.com/juicebox. One year, one CGM. Ever since 365 Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less, a little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, if you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would, I think I see something here, but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the juicebox podcast. Podcast. It begins at Episode 1000 you can also find it at juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 Hey, you listened all the way to the end. You might want to know more about the juicebox podcast. If you do go to juicebox podcast.com scroll down to the bottom and subscribe to the juicebox podcast newsletter. Each week, you'll get a rundown of the shows from the past week, just in case you missed something and you think, Oh, I would have loved that now I know. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The juicebox podcast. Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording, doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrongwayrecording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You want rob you.


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#1346 Orange is the New Black

Scott Benner

Margaret didn't take great care of herself for a long time.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again, friends for this next episode of The juicebox podcast.

Margaret is 26 she was diagnosed 15 years ago, and she has a very interesting job. She's a corrections officer, and her ANC has been dropping from an 11 due to help she received through the podcast. We're gonna hear all about her life, her job, her diabetes on this episode of The juicebox podcast, nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Don't forget, if you're a US resident who has type one or is the caregiver of someone with type one, visit T 1d exchange.org/juice box right now and complete that survey. It will take you 10 minutes to complete the survey, and that effort alone will help to move type one diabetes research forward. It will cost you nothing to help when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juice, box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order@cozyearth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40 percent@cozyearth.com Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test. Can spot type one diabetes early tap now talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com for more info, this episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour. Next.com/juice, box. Today's podcast is sponsored by us med. Us, med.com/juice box. You can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do, and I'm talking about Dexcom, libre, OmniPod, tandem, and so much more. Us, med.com/juice dot com, slash juice box, or call 888-721-1514,

Margaret 2:27
hi. My name is Margaret woods. I am 26 years old. I have been type one diabetic for 15 years, and I am a corrections officer

Scott Benner 2:35
Margaret 2615 years makes you 11 when you were diagnosed.

Margaret 2:41
Am I right? Yes, sir.

Scott Benner 2:42
Uh huh, a corrections officer. Oh, wait a minute, in like a prison and

Margaret 2:47
a jail. Oh, what's the difference? So jail, you are waiting to be sentenced, or bonded, depending on your charges, and prison you are sentenced, okay. Is there a difference prisons? Go ahead, sir.

Scott Benner 3:01
Is there a difference in your job? Like, if could you work at one or the other?

Margaret 3:05
Prison is owned by state here in Florida, and jail is County. You're

Scott Benner 3:11
in Florida and a corrections officer. Do we have to talk about your diabetes, or can I just ask you questions about being a corrections officer for them?

Margaret 3:18
Now you can do both. Okay, I love what I do, and I have, I have stories for days. I Well,

Scott Benner 3:24
that's what I'm thinking. Well, let's figure out first about your diabetes. So when you were diagnosed in your 11, was it a surprise? Is it a family trait?

Margaret 3:33
Where does that fall? Cohen sort of, kind of both. So type two runs heavy on my dad's side. And from what my mom has told me, because I've asked her about it, she said that they found abnormal blood work from my pediatrician, that my sugar was really, really high, about four or five hundreds. And they're like, Yeah, you need to take her to the ER, she's she's not doing so good. So that's what they did. They took me to the ER here locally, and they put a what do you call it? They gave me some liquids, trying to bring my sugar down, and it wouldn't budge. So they had to send me to a specialist. So at first, they caught it really, really early. So they're like, Oh, she's type two. Oh no, she's type one. Here. Try all these medications and shots and pills. Oh no, she's type two. Oh no, she's not. She's type one. And that was kind of the seal deal. So I got this shorter to the straw over

Scott Benner 4:33
here. That's something. They just back and forth like that.

Margaret 4:37
They, I guess they caught it so early they couldn't tell, like, what my body was doing quite yet. So they're like, Yeah, let's try a couple different methods. Well, what remember, yeah,

Scott Benner 4:48
what did they try first

Margaret 4:51
they tried, I think, shops twice a day, a type of pill twice a day. I remember my mom was trying to, like, get. Me to sit down whole still for when she had to check my blood sugars. And I'm like, No, don't I don't want to do this. And she's like, listen, just sit down. I'm like, I don't want to do this. She's like, you don't got a choice. Yeah. Like, no, stop

Scott Benner 5:13
misbehaving. Or I'll put you outside where the anacondas and the crocodiles are. Then you'll come back in gleefully. Do you live in that part of Florida, by the way, the part where, like, everyone released their pets and now it's the OmniPod. I

Margaret 5:26
guess it depends where in Florida. I'm more south of Florida, and you, you kind of know where the alligators are and everything. They're more by the lakes in the more swampy areas we just have. Where I used to live, had a lot of Sandhill cranes, and not a lot of people know what kind of bird that is, but they look like to me. They

Scott Benner 5:47
look like dinosaurs. Sandhill cranes, really, it's you

Margaret 5:51
if you ever hear them call. When they like, do their bird call? It's loud. So I had a friend in middle school. Her mom is not native to Florida, so when they moved down to Florida and saw these birds, and when they started their their call, she didn't know what was going on. She thought it was an alarm system going off. They're loud, and it's like, no, that was just our local birds. You'd be all right,

Scott Benner 6:15
can't the alligators catch them? So So you try and so they got you just doing a couple of shots and some pills. Do you think they think you're type two at that point?

Margaret 6:27
I believe, I believe, the first time that they diagnosed me, I was type two, okay, and then that wasn't working, and then they gave me shots. And I don't know if it was maybe the type events on they were giving me. I'm not sure what they did give me, because it was so long ago. I was in fifth grade, but nothing was working. And I guess either my body figured it out, or maybe the doctors did, and they're like, Okay, well, this is working. So yeah, she's type one. This is what she needs to do. And good luck.

Scott Benner 6:59
Do you carb count, or do you do sliding scale? I do both. Back then they started, but they started you on something, though, right? They started, I mean, they started you on sliding scale, basically, like twice a day shooting. They were probably telling you just certain amount of carbs when you were 11, and then they decide your type one and what happens after that. This was so long ago. If you don't remember, it's fine, just a lot of times people are don't remember. But

Margaret 7:24
I ate a lot of the same things every day, especially my lunches for school. So I did carb count. I don't remember what my carb ratio was then. I think it was one unit every 15 carbs. I think so I had a sandwich, turkey sandwich. What do you call them? Pringles, the sugar free chocolate cookies, pudding or jello, sugar free, and there was something else, peanuts. Maybe that was your life. That was basically my lunch every day. I mean, I would pick, like, the different kinds of flavors I wanted, as long as it's within that range of carbohydrate wise, breakfast would differ. Sometimes I'd have a little bit of oatmeal. Sometimes it would be eggs and toast with a little bit of peanut butter, because I love peanut butter as a kid like that was like, my life, right? There

Scott Benner 8:17
was that, like a diabetes thing? Was it like, low carbs, but then some peanut butter so your blood sugar doesn't fall when you bolus. Is that? Was that the process? Do you think? Or do you probably not

Margaret 8:28
even remember? I just remember, like, loving peanut butter so much that it was just like my savior back then. It's

Scott Benner 8:34
excellent. So when do you start taking care of yourself? Like it sounds like your mom was handling things? Is that right?

Margaret 8:40
Yes, greatly, she, I don't want to say she was a helicopter mom, because then I would say she was, but now looking back, she was doing what she could for me and having a the her youngest baby, having diabetes, it was not easy for her, and I know she wanted, you know, to give me the same opportunities as a right any regular kid. I when she started to kind of back away a little bit and gave me more freedom and controlling and handling myself, I think I needed her a bit longer than I thought, because I just kind of went off the charts for a little bit. I just didn't care. I guess she could say, so you did my own thing. Were

Scott Benner 9:23
you pushing for independence? Or do you or was she trying to give it to you? Like, hand it off to you.

Margaret 9:29
I think it was more of she was trying to give me the independence and, like, okay, so she knows what she's doing. She, you know, she knows her carb ratio. She knows what to give herself. She eats the same thing nearly every day, even on the weekends and whenever we did like physical activities, because we did do a lot of exercise around our neighborhood. And my dad and my dad's co worker and friend had, I guess you caught like a little house right by a. Lake here, Lake Placid, yeah, and we do like, jet skis and a lot of swimming. It was a lot of like, you know, water activities. And she had to really make sure I was okay, because I love swimming. You couldn't get me out the water. You

Scott Benner 10:14
freaked me out a little because I felt Lake Placid. Was in New York. No,

Margaret 10:17
we have a Lake Placid here in Florida. Everybody gets one. I didn't know that. I guess that's it. Is it purse? You know, everyone gets one in every state. I don't know

Scott Benner 10:26
everyone gets one so, but once she hands the care off to you, you don't do well with it.

Margaret 10:30
I was very like on and off with it. I think it was because I didn't take care of myself a lot back then. Was because I was treated differently as a child for my both my teachers and my fellow students, slash friends, a lot of bullying going on. So I just wanted to fit in. I just wanted to be a normal kid.

Scott Benner 10:54
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Margaret 13:32
I remember, I remember some kids saying that I was weird and I was different, that, you know, I had something different that you know wasn't and within my control, like, I'm sorry this happened me. I don't know why you're bullying me. Because of it, I wanted to do sports. I wanted to do basketball and volleyball, and the coaches didn't want me on the team because I was a liability. So I didn't get that opportunity. I had to leave early before lunch to go check my sugar and get myself insulin. And when the kids pick that up, they're like, Oh, she's just going early to eat a second lunch. It got to that level. And then they used to steal my books. They would write in my books, throw the books at me. It was pretty rough.

Scott Benner 14:21
My God, so jeez. So bullied about your weight, about what you had diabetes. How would you diabetes your height? Well, you're very tall, very short.

Margaret 14:31
Then I was tall for my age. Okay, I was the tallest in the class, but third tallest in the overall grade, especially going into middle school, not pleasant. You didn't like that,

Scott Benner 14:45
or did you not mind it, but they just used it as something to focus on.

Margaret 14:48
I wish then I was shorter, but I had stopped growing, so now I'm like a good average height for a female. I guess. How tall? 5656,

Scott Benner 14:58
that's a nice height. Five Six, yeah, so, I

Margaret 15:01
mean, I'm taller than most of my fellow deputies, so it's like, okay, yeah. I mean, I don't know,

Scott Benner 15:07
Arden's five seven, and she looks like a giant next to most women, you know,

Margaret 15:13
I guess it just depends, you know,

Scott Benner 15:15
it's just on who you're around. But, but the kids took so when you say bullying, do you think it went on for like, a semester a year, for years. How long did you deal with that?

Margaret 15:25
The fifth and sixth grade was the was tough, the toughest seventh I had the same kids for all of my classes. So with the same especially the boys, they would target me, especially when it came to gym. And I hated Jim because of that, especially when we played dodgeball, the kids would, they would all throw the balls at me, and I would be basically the first out, if not me, then my friend at the time, Austin, because he was a kind of a geek, and I was kind of a nerd because I liked superheroes and anime and manga. And I like to trace over the manga to I wanted to draw, but now I can do stick figures, so they would target us mostly. And one time, a kid threw a ball and it hit me right in the jugular, and it stopped my airway for a good few seconds, yeah. And then the coach saw that, and she's like, Yo, what? So I had to basically sit out for the next few games before I felt okay to go back in. And then the dodgeballs were not those like soft, little rubbery or plastic ones. It was like those rubber ones. They stung if they got you that sung when you got hit. They

Scott Benner 16:39
made that noise, the thump, the clump, I don't know how to make the noise. It's like a hollow like a hollow rubber thumping, you know, you get hit with it. Anything done about it? Like parents step in, faculty, anything like that. No,

Margaret 16:53
no, I did go to the teachers. I did go to the dean. And then it was a lot of hearsay. So unless there was proof, they couldn't do anything. And of course, you know, then the group of bullies, especially in my seventh grade class, were like, Oh, we didn't do anything, you know, we don't even bother her. And it's like, well, this is what they're doing, you know? And they're like, Oh, we don't, you know, we don't care about you, or we don't mind you, you know, you help us in class, especially with math and science, and it's like, really so, and I did tell my dad, and he, he told me the same thing. He's just like, Well, talk to your teachers, talk to the dean, and nothing was done. So I just kind of just went to school, did the best I could, talk to the small two friends I had, and then just went about my day. You

Scott Benner 17:42
said in your note that you were in and out of hospitals as a child.

Margaret 17:47
Yes, when I was first diagnosed,

Scott Benner 17:49
that was during the beginning of the diagnosis. Was that because we were having trouble getting some balance? Or what was that cause of that?

Margaret 17:56
So I remember before I had to go to the specialist. That's when they try to get my sugar down. Gave me some fluids. My sugar didn't budge. Went to the specialist and to educate me, like, about diabetes, what it is, and this is when they confirmed I was type one. They're like, Well, we, you know, come to the hospital, you know, stay here for a week or five days, or however long it was, then we'll teach you how to carb count, how to teach you to be more independent and give yourself shots. They were very big with JDRF, I think it's called at the time. So they did give me like a little teddy bear that had, like The Little Miss, colored patches on its arms and legs and stomach, where you could give yourself to shots. They gave me, like, a little book with the Pink Panther on it, and it says, you know, life with type one diabetes. And I think I still have it, actually, you

Scott Benner 18:52
have the Pink Panther book.

Margaret 18:53
I think I do. Yeah, we threw ours. Remember seeing it recently? Yeah,

Scott Benner 18:57
we must have had it for over a decade. And then one day somebody was like, well, have we ever opened this in the trash? What's your remembrance like, if I just tell you to look back and like, you grew up with diabetes, is your remembrance going to be like, bad, like, people picked on me, I was sick. Like, is that your vibe when you remember it?

Margaret 19:16
It was It's heavy. It's very heavy, but at the same time, I'm glad it did happen, because if I did not have that experience, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Who are you today? I think of myself as outgoing and fun, and I don't let my condition be an excuse or hold me back with what I want to do, especially physical stuff. And I actually had a co worker ask me, you know, because I tell basically everybody, especially those that never worked with me, like, hey, just so you know, I'm type one diabetic, and if I need to step out for a minute to check my sugar or whatever, you know, I need to, it's a health thing. Right? And one of my coworkers brought that to my attention, and she's like, well, if you're so adamant about your condition and telling everybody, why did you pick this field of profession where it can be zero to 100 real quick, I said, because I'm not going to let my disease dictate my life. I'm not going to like evolve revolve around my condition to make it easier for me, I like a challenge, and that's one of the reasons why I chose this profession. She's like, Okay, well, I don't say people, but they just are like, well, she's, she's been clear to do this job, and she's going to do this job. Yes, I understand that. But you know, I've now that I've been on a pump, my sugars have been a lot better at preventing me from going too high or too low. Okay, so my sugars have been, as of lately, beautiful, excellent. I very rarely have to step out and, you know, eat, drink a juice, or eat glucose tablets and then go back on the floor and do whatever I was doing.

Scott Benner 21:02
Was that more common when you were younger with low blood sugar? Yeah,

Margaret 21:05
no, I was running high a lot. Okay,

Scott Benner 21:08
so what big adjustments have you made to your management over the last couple of years? Then I

Margaret 21:13
did go to a different endocrinologist, the two I had back to back prior to this current one, they were not helping me at all. I had one. He was an older gentleman, and nothing wrong with that, but he just wouldn't listen to me. He wouldn't talk to me. He, you know, we, we would talk. And I tell him, you know, this is what's my daily routine. And this was before I became a corrections officer, right? This is my daily routine, you know, then I was not too active on the floor or too active physically. I think I was a with the school board. I think at the time he, you know, would be like, Okay, well, then we're going to do this and this to see if we can bring your sugars down. And then he would, you know, give my paperwork to his nurse, and then the nurse would fill in my prescription for insulin. And at the time, I was on pins. I was not yet on a pump, and then somehow along the way, he messed here, or the nurse would mess up the correction dose and gave me the wrong insulin pen. So I was, I am still on Nova log, and they gave me humor log, and my insurance doesn't cover humor log, so for a single pen, I had to pay $250 out of pocket for that.

Scott Benner 22:30
Any reason, you didn't say, hey, this isn't really what I'm supposed to be getting.

Margaret 22:35
I did when they gave me the pen and I saw the different color, I said, this is not mine. They're like, that's what your doctor gave you. And I'm like, I don't take humologue, I take Nova log. And I said, You know what? Just, is there any way that I can come back for it? Because I don't take this and I'm not paying this much for a single pen of insulin that's gonna last me, like, a week, yeah? And they're like, Yeah, sure. We'll hold on to it just in case. And then I called my doctor, no answer. I left voicemail, no answer. And then I finally got a hold of a nurse, and she's like, Oh yeah, he put in some of the stuff wrong on the paperwork and let me see if he'll come back and fix it. And I explained to her, you know, the pen and the insulin. And she's like, well, that I have to follow. You might have to come back and do another follow up. And I'm like, what? So I'm like, I have, like, no insulin, so I'm gonna have to go and pick up this insulin and pay this money. And she's like, unfortunately, you're gonna have to do what you got to do. And I was like, hey, thanks. Do you feel like

Scott Benner 23:38
from the very beginning, your kids mean everything to you. That means you do anything for them, especially if they're at risk. So when it comes to type one diabetes, screen, it like you mean it, because even if just one person in the family has it, your child is up to 15 times more likely to get it too. Screen, it like you mean it, because type one diabetes can develop at any age, and once you get results, you can get prepared for your child's future. So screen it like you mean it type one starts long before there are symptoms, but one blood test could help you to spot it early before they need insulin, and could lower the risk of serious complications like diabetic ketoacidosis or DKA. Talk to your doctor about how to screen for type one diabetes, because the more you know, the more you can do. So don't wait tap now or visit screen for type one.com to learn more. Again, that's screen for type one.com screen it like you mean it. Anybody's ever like pushed you towards more successful moments, or had your back, or has it been a slog the whole way? Like, part of your note here is kind of fascinating. You said, I was told through my younger life I could never have a normal one. You know, I couldn't be do what other healthy people did. I couldn't die and lose weight if I needed to. Get a tattoo, a piercing, have healthy children like did. Were people just constantly telling you that just was depressing? I

Margaret 25:08
want to say yes, it's been like that, even after I graduated high school, thankfully, I was in marching band my all four years of high school, my first my band teacher. He was there for the first three years of high school, and then we had a different band teacher my fourth grade year, or my high school senior year. Sorry, he was really cool. I honestly do miss him, and he's doing amazing in life, you know. He's like, Well, if you need anything, you need anything, you know, let us know. And I said, Well, you know, I have to have my testing kit on me, and if I can't carry it, can you know, somebody else carry it? Or a parent of a parent volunteer, he's like, Oh, no, we got you. So the drama teacher would carry my stuff, and if she couldn't carry it, then she passed it off to one of the parent volunteers. And my dad, at the time, was an SRO, so he would be at the football games, and when we got done with our halftime show, you know, we'd go to where the the board is, where it keeps, like, the track of the scores, yeah, scoreboard. We'll call it, yeah,

Scott Benner 26:13
Margaret. That was my favorite part so far. You're like, you know, the board where they keep the scores. What the hell is that thing called? I

Margaret 26:19
mean, the scoreboard,

Scott Benner 26:20
um, hold on a second. Let me think it's geez, I get sorry. I looked up my tongue. Are you nervous by any chance? A little bit? Yeah, it's not going away yet. You

Margaret 26:30
could probably hear a little bit of shaking in my voice. I'm just nervous and I'm excited, and I'm just like, oh

Scott Benner 26:36
my gosh, stop for a second. Why are you excited? Because

Margaret 26:39
I'm putting my voice out there. For once, a lot I felt like, a lot of times, like, especially throughout my life, like nobody gave a second thought, no one cared or give two shits about me. And now that I'm more vocal and open about it, and now that I've, you know, found this podcast, and I really wish I had growing up, it gave me a lot of encouragement, and it gave me a lot of like, I guess, the support that I needed. And I've just become more like, comfortable with myself, because then I was just like, if they know, they know, and if they you know, don't, they don't. I don't care. I'm just gonna do what I do. You know, I don't, I don't care. I don't give two, it's, I guess, more depressed than now. I'm just like, hey, you know, how are you? You just say, No, I'm diabetic. And if you have any questions, I'm very open about it.

Scott Benner 27:30
Do you think you've been depressed in your life, or do you just think you had depressive moments or sadness,

Margaret 27:35
probably both, and I just didn't realize it. Do you think it existed prior to diabetes? I think it became more so when I got diagnosed, and with all the bullying and the, you know, they just didn't really care. It's just like, Okay, well, I'm just going to be over here in the corner. Don't mind me.

Scott Benner 27:53
Have you ever had your thyroid checked? Yes, uh, what's

Margaret 27:57
from my last blood work? It was within normal limits.

Scott Benner 28:01
Okay, good. What does that mean? What? What's the number? TSH, do you know he,

Margaret 28:06
I don't know. He just said it's everything looks normal. You know, nothing sticks out. I was just like, okay, okay,

Scott Benner 28:13
would you not now, while we're recording, but take a look for me. Okay, you like, go find, go find your labs. The reason I say is because they'll tell you that. Some doctors will tell you anywhere between, like, I don't know, zero and 10 is an acceptable TSH, but I'm going to say that over about two, two and a half, if you have thyroid issues, that's not that could possibly need medication. So if you're, for instance, you know, a four, they'll say, oh, that's in range. That's fine. But if you're a four and you're losing your hair, and you're tired all the time, and you're anxious or depressed, like these could be like thyroid symptoms, hypothyroid symptoms,

Margaret 28:54
I'm gonna have to, I'm seeing my doctor next month, so I might have to ask him, because I don't, I don't have any of the lab work?

Scott Benner 29:00
Yeah, well, you could get it from there. Do you have any hypothyroid symptoms that you know of? Do you know what they are?

Margaret 29:05
I don't, but I don't think I do,

Scott Benner 29:09
fatigue, weight gain, trouble tolerating the cold, joint, muscle pain, dry skin, dry thinning hair, heavy or irregular menstrual periods, fertility problems, slow heart rate, depression. Did you hear yourself in there? Or no?

Margaret 29:24
Well, I'm not losing hair. Thank goodness you just

Scott Benner 29:26
heard the things you were happy wasn't happening to you, like, Oh my God, my hair is fantastic. Never mind.

Margaret 29:32
It's long and luscious.

Scott Benner 29:35
But I'm not saying you do. I'm just saying that if, if you have some of that stuff, it's okay to ask.

Margaret 29:40
Why do I've always had trouble losing weight. I don't know if it's just because of maybe the diabetes and how my agency was, like, really high. Then,

Scott Benner 29:49
see, the thing is, if your agency was higher, that would indicate higher blood sugars, and you'd probably have less trouble losing weight if you weren't using enough insulin. You might, you might have, like, you know, when you get the. Somebody gets DK, they lose weight because

Margaret 30:02
their blood sugars are higher. Yeah, I went through that too in 2017 Yeah. Were you? Were you thinner at that point? Yes, I don't know what my a 1c was. Then I had noticed a lot of weight loss. I was 170 and I was just kind of like, okay, this is great. You know, I'm losing weight. Don't know how or why, but Sure, let's go with it. And remember, I got really sick. I was throwing up, nothing was going keeping down. And that it was like that for over a day. And then on day two or three, I couldn't even keep down with water, and I didn't know what was going on with me. And then I was with a different guy at the time, my high school sweetheart, and I fell to the floor, and I couldn't breathe. I felt like there was like this immense, sharp, burning sensation where my kidneys are, and it was preventing me from breathing. And I kept saying, call the ambulance. Call the ambulance. I can't breathe. So he did, and ambulance came, took me back to the ER, and they said, Yeah, you, you know you're there's a lot of sugar in your urine, your sugar's, like, I don't remember what they said. It was really, really high. And basically, went into DKA, and I was in ICU for three days. Yeah,

Scott Benner 31:16
Margaret, let me have a chat here with our computer overlords for a second and tell you that chatgpt says high blood sugar can lead to weight loss, primarily due to the body's inability to use glucose effectively for energy when insulin levels are insufficient, or when the body becomes resistant to insulin. Here's a detailed explanation lack of insulin or insulin resistance. That's the first header. Is insulin is necessary for glucose to enter the body's cells to be used as energy when there is not enough insulin, where the body is resistant to insulin, glucose stays in the bloodstream rather than being used by the cells. This can lead to energy deficits because the cells are not receiving the glucose they need. The body perceives this as a state of energy deficit, even though there's plenty of glucose in the blood, breaking down fat and muscle to compensate to compensate for this lack of usable energy, the body starts to break down fat and muscle tissue to provide an alternative source of energy. This breakdown of fat and muscle leads to the weight loss. In addition to this, when blood sugar levels are extremely high, the kidneys try to remove exose glucose through the blood by excreting it in the urine. This process also causes loss of calories, which can contribute to further weight loss and, of course, dehydration. So I'm saying this out loud because it's dangerous, but you will hear people sometimes who have type one diabetes restrict their insulin as a way to lose weight, and that, of course, is actually an eating disorder. It's a sign of an eating disorder, but and very dangerous. Please don't do that. But my point is, is that if you're having trouble losing weight, if you're using a lot of insulin, or because you're eating a lot of calories, then that might be that, but it doesn't have much to do with the insulin beyond the the caloric intake. Now, if you're insulin resistant, that's a different issue, etc. Do you have PCOS or any of the menstrual issues?

Margaret 33:08
No, I thought I did. Was it 2018 I went into the ER for a really bad kidney infection, and they did a CAT scan, and they saw a little lump on my ovaries. So they said, then it was a cyst. And so as of recently, as of this year, it grew with it grew to the size of the peach and the spam of maybe four to six months. And my OB was like, Yeah, you're going to need surgery. So March, I had to get it removed and lost my left, left tube and ovary. But then they took it out to make sure it wasn't cancerous. Because of how fast it was growing, they were worried it was cancer. So it just turned out to be just tissues. It wasn't even a cyst. And I was like, Okay,

Scott Benner 33:59
well, but they took your fallopian tube anyway, the left one? Yes, I still have my right one. Okay, well, you can drive on this side of the road, then in America, you'll be fine. I'll be all right, yeah, can you still? Can you have kids? Did they say?

Margaret 34:12
They said, if I wanted to, yes, do you want to? No, why not? I just don't see myself as being a mom. Both my current boyfriend and I just decided not to have kids. We just, I guess, want to fulfill ourselves in our lives. Um, before, without really bringing in that extra load, as as mean as it sounds, an

Scott Benner 34:34
extra load Margaret is how you end up having kids, by the way. Listen, there's nothing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with not letting kids. I was just interested. Like you don't have to explain it to you don't have to explain it to me. Like, did you feel like? I was like, why not? I didn't mean that. If that's how I came across, I'm

Margaret 34:47
sorry. No, a lot of people have asked, like, why don't you want kids? I just don't want kids. I don't see myself as being a mom. I especially don't want to put myself through that, I guess, trauma, because another thing I was told. Growing up was I have a hard time conceiving because I'm type one. I have a hard time keeping it because I'm a type one, and there's a greater chance that the child will be born with or have it later in life as type one, or have diabetes. But I'm thankful, to say, grateful that I actually have three nieces and a nephew, so those are my kids, and I try and spoil them when I can. Margaret.

Scott Benner 35:24
Did you have a fairy godmother that was on smack or PCP? What is what the hell happened to you? We've glossed over this so far, but I can't anymore. How are your parents? They decent parents.

Margaret 35:36
I mean, I love my parents. You know, they're a little rough around the edges, like they ask

Scott Benner 35:40
you if you loved them. Hold on a second. Like, did? They did? They did? They hit you?

Margaret 35:44
No, they love me. No. They yell at you only when I was bad. All right,

Scott Benner 35:49
you didn't feel abused. Of course, not anybody an alcoholic or a drug addict in the house.

Margaret 35:54
Oh gosh no. All right,

Scott Benner 35:56
are they a little oopids day? What am I saying? Margaret, you know what I'm saying? OOP and stay oopid. Stay. I don't want to spell it out. Are they dummies, but they dumb, stupid? No, no. Okay, well, then so you're getting so then Where's all this doom and gloom coming from? Oh, my God. Are they Catholic? Are they Catholic?

Margaret 36:14
I think we're, I think they're Pentecostal. I love that you

Scott Benner 36:16
don't even know what your religion is, Okay. Never mind. So Pentecostal, that sounds like snake handlers, but I don't know much about religion.

Margaret 36:23
We just went to church on Sundays. And then I became older, and I was just like, I'm gonna do my own thing.

Scott Benner 36:28
You can't speak parcel tongue, though, right?

Margaret 36:30
I don't think so. Oh, I haven't attempted. Let me just go out and find Anaconda. Hold up. Can

Scott Benner 36:34
I tell you something right now, the craziest goddamn thing ever, when my son was like, I don't know, six, eight years old, whenever that goddamn Harry Potter movie was like in its heyday, we were at the zoo, and he walks over and had seen the movie, and does this like, pretend parcel tongue stuff at this big cage, and this snake zips up, looks up, turns and goes right to him. And we were like, Oh my God. Like it was the weirdest goddamn thing. I'll never forget it. It felt like he talked to that snake. I know he didn't. And please, if you're a weirdo, don't find my son and kill him because you think he's a witch. Nothing like that. Actually, it was, it was coincidental.

Margaret 37:10
I'm all for it.

Scott Benner 37:11
This is not my point. My point is Margaret at somewhere along the line, growing up, you were around people who just expected bad things to happen, because everything you were told you could have been told the opposite, like, that's the thing that I don't. I didn't. I'm not understanding about your story. Because you can't have kids. You're not gonna be able to get a tattoo. You can't do this. You can't, you can't, you won't, you shouldn't. What the fuck has anybody ever heard of hope? How about like, you know, we'll get your blood sugar in a good spot. So if you get a tattoo, it'll heal well. Or, you know, there are plenty of people with type one diabetes who have babies, we'll figure out how they do it. Like, what's with the What's with the woe is me and the doom and gloom? Like, where does that come from?

Margaret 37:52
I don't know. That's what it's all around you. That's, that's what that was the energy around me, but that's not the energy in me, and that's why, even though I've been told all these negative things, I guess that. That is why I like a challenge. That's why I decided to push myself into exceeding expectation and became, I guess, worthy.

Scott Benner 38:19
This is what I got to figure out, because in the first half of your story, you seem muted, like you seem sad, but I don't think you are like, and I don't know if it's just you're just a slower talker and a thoughtful talker, maybe, but like, or if you're just still nervous, that's why I asked you if you were nervous earlier, because there's part of me that thinks I'm going to break you free and you're going to be like, like, I feel like I should have asked a prison story first to get you going, like, I seriously, I feel like I did this out of order. I'm feel I'm starting to feel bad about it like, so let's practice this for a second. All right, seriously. All right. Let's just jump ahead for a second, and then we're gonna jump back. What's your best jail story? Please make it about somebody hiding something in their vagina. But go ahead. So

Margaret 39:00
the most, I have a few, but this is a most recent one. We had a girl come in, and she was very rowdy, you know. So that can mean a lot of things when they come in, rowdy, you know, they could come in drunk, high, aggressive, like, to the verge of fighting, or they could just be basically talking. It just all depends. So I was there in booking, picking up some females to go back to the dorm. And when they heard that they hadn't had one coming to rowdy, I stayed around just to see, like what was going on, if they needed another female officer to handle this situation, I was just kind of, you know, being the fly on the wall. So then she came, and she was just yelling. I'm guessing it was her, because she was very, very loud. So I found out later, because I didn't know the whole story, she was pissed at her girlfriend because she was going to have sex with her girlfriend, but the girlfriend left to go have sex with a man. So when the one, when the girl came in that was arrested, she had on a strap on, and the arresting officer, who was a female, saw says, strap on, ganked it from her, and put it on her cop car. It was, it was a suction cup, and just right on the hood of the car, she got mad at the arresting officer because she took her dildo, and they're expensive, I would imagine, I would assume. So, yeah, so she's, she kept begging the book inside. She's like, please, saj, give me 20 minutes. I'll that up. Her up she give her 20 minutes and I'll give her the pinky or the black ear, whatever she said. I was like, Oh my god. So this y'all don't need me. Okay, I'ma go.

Scott Benner 40:40
This girl was upset because the arresting officer took her strap on from her which had a suction cup, probably to embarrass her suction cup to the car, and she was wearing it because her girlfriend, who she was going to have sex with, left the house to go have sex with a man instead. Basically, what a great story you could tell these all day, like there's no one. If you want to hear it, do I want to hear again? I feel like we should have gone to this first, because I think your personality is going to come out. Because I I'm going to say I want to hear the next story. Margaret hold it into you. But I'm I at this moment, I'm blaming myself because I knew you were nervous and I didn't do enough to break you out of it in the beginning. So I feel like I've done you a disservice. So we're gonna keep going. Give me one more story. So

Margaret 41:24
we have a lot of mental health I went to go pick up one, and I know she's mental health, but she's not aggressive. She just talks a lot, yeah. So she's an older woman. She's very short, like I said, I'm five six, maybe five seven on a good day. And she's like to my to my shoulder bone. So she's very, very short. So we have a booking deputy. He's very, very tall. He's, I don't know how tall exactly, but he's very tall, and he's very big, not fat, but he's just, you know, he's like a mountain to me. So she so I went to go pick her up. I said, All right, come on, you know, pick up your stuff. You know, let's, let's go back to the housing unit. And she's like, I see that man right there. So I said, I look. And I was like, Oh, you mean him? She's like, Yeah, he, he arrested me, and he, he, he took me in the back, and he, he raped me. And I was like, Oh, my goodness. So I'm looking at my at the deputy. I was like, how did that go? And he's laughing, because we knew she's she's not all there. Then the females were housed, like, towards the very back of the jail. So when we were taking that, that very long walk, remember that old Kmart as, like, yeah, the one that shut down, like, I don't know, seven years ago. She's like, Yeah. I said, Well, what about it? She goes, there was, there were seven doctors, and they all took me back there, and they had their way with me. And I was like, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that. And I know she's like, not all there and just making this up. And then she's like, Do you know where this road is? I said, Yeah, I used to live off of that road. She goes, I had my my son there, and I used to live off that road. It was a natural home birth. I said, Well, congratulations. Let you know I'm glad you you know, had your son, you know, you know, whatever. She's like, Yeah, and that son is, is the child of the of the sheriff. And I was like, Oh, here we go. I was like, Mm, hmm, okay. And she goes, yeah, he that son of a bitch won't come in and claim that child, and that mother owes me a million dollars in child support. I was like, Okay, let's keep walking. So then we're almost there to and we have to go pass the door to get to another door, to another door. So we're like, at that first door, and then she says, You know, I have a boyfriend. I said, Well, congratulations. I'm so glad that you have somebody special in your life to help you through your share these moments, yes, yeah. And then she's like, he has seven houses. I said, Wow, you look at you dating a millionaire. You know, good for you. Girl? And she's like, Yeah, and that mother won't give me one house. I was like, Oh, here we go. I'm trying to hold in my my my laughter, until I get her into the cell, and then when I got her there, and then into we call it the tower, where the control board is, I just start dying on the floor, and my coworkers are like, are you okay? I was like, No, I'm not okay. I mean, my inhaler.

Scott Benner 44:28
I mean, I don't know how bad did that do you have to be not to be able to get one of those houses? You know what? I mean, like, Oh

Margaret 44:34
my God. And that's so are there a

Scott Benner 44:35
lot of mentally ill people that come through? I

Margaret 44:37
don't know how many exactly, but we have a good portion of mental health, both male and female, but they are housed separately from a regular population, so they're not so they're not at risk, and so the other inmates are not at risk for exposure or whatever occurrence, negative.

Scott Benner 44:59
Occurrence cut that could happen. How many inane conversations do you have a day?

Margaret 45:04
It's like mental health. Yeah, no.

Scott Benner 45:06
Like, just absolutely like conversations that after you have them, you walk away going, what the hell just happened? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like you're a I always feel bad for people who work at cash registers too, because, you know, people say the dumbest while they're in line for cash registers.

Margaret 45:19
I have won almost every shift, and it's just like

Scott Benner 45:26
that just really happened. You should just write a book. You should just, every day, write down the craziest one, and at the end, just publish the book of jailhouse conversations I've had. Probably,

Margaret 45:34
I could probably get a few people on board and be like, Hey, let's do this. And you know, especially the ones that been there a lot longer than me, that are like, a little older than me. Oh, I'm

Scott Benner 45:45
sure. How is your diabetes doing? Is the job like rigorous or a lot of walking? Does it mess with your blood sugars? Actually? How do you manage now? What? What devices do you use?

Margaret 45:54
So I was on OmniPod five and freestyle three. I could not afford a Dexcom because they wanted, if I can remember correctly, an 800 down payment. And the supplies after that were just out of my price range, and I could not afford it. So with the OmniPod, I honestly loved it. I kept it on my thighs. It was wireless, and it was a low, I guess, low, chance of it breaking, if, God forbid, I had to put my hands on somebody. Now I'm on the recent Medtronic pump, seven,

Scott Benner 46:30
um, 70 g7,

Margaret 46:32
80 G, yes, seven, 787, 80 G. So

Scott Benner 46:36
that's so you're using their algorithm, yes.

Margaret 46:38
And just because I the sensor that I had the freestyle three there, your insurance is covering it. It wouldn't cut. It wouldn't pair up with the OmniPod five. No, no, of course, yeah.

Scott Benner 46:48
So you're using the Medtronic sensor. Yes. Now, okay, how are you enjoying that? I hear good things from a lot of people about that. Is it a good system?

Margaret 46:56
This one, yes, because I was on Medtronic in the past a little after I was in ICU for three days, yeah, I didn't really care for it. It did. The Wire did snag on a lot of doors, because then I used to be a lunch lady, so and it would just catch on the doors. It catch on tables. It, you know, I, no matter how, like, much I would like tuck it in my pocket, it just would wiggle itself out. Yeah. So now, now I have the sensor. I've rarely have issues good, um, I do. I do have pressure lows sometimes, but I know how to, like, prop my arm up to prevent it. And if I ever have, like, a malfunction of a sensor, I could call I'll be like, Hey, this is what happened. This is the reference number, and they're like, Okay, well, we'll ship it out and we'll you'll get it within X amount of weeks. Okay, well, great. So

Scott Benner 47:49
I don't think you can at this point a compression low with any CGM that you wear on your skin. It's just going to be what it is like you they're very simply described. Is when you press down where that sensor is, it disperses the interstitial fluid underneath, and it kind of pushes the glucose away. So it's still actually accurately reading the interstitial fluid that it's in, but you're pushing so much fluid away that it looks like there's less glucose there, because there is less glucose in that spot. And then, of course, you stop pressing, and it kind of like redistributes. So the algorithm doesn't get you too low doesn't fit. Like it'd be too high. You like how aggressive it is around meals and etc.

Margaret 48:25
And sometimes, if I eat, like, maybe 15 to 20 carbs worth of of a food item, it'll correct itself. Like, if it sees I'm running high, it'll correct itself. Handy as hell it is. So I'm, like, very thankful for it, especially at work, because sometimes we're so busy that I just eat without really thinking about what I'm eating and without really thinking about the correction, it'll just take care of itself, like I do try and be like, Okay, so this is, I don't know, 20 grams of carbs or 15 grams. I'm just gave myself a little bit, or none at all, just because of the physical activity at work, yeah? But if I'm, like, on my days off, like today, you know, if I'm sitting here and doing nothing, then, yeah, I'm gonna give myself the insulin because I'm not active. It's nice,

Scott Benner 49:14
you know what? Though, I don't understand. Like, for listen, if you got a job where you got to talk to a crazy lady about her oral sex skills. I don't know why your insurance doesn't cover whatever you want. You should have better I if I was in charge of the world, you would have better insurance, because I feel like you deserve it. You know what I mean? Like I haven't had to have a conversation. Well, I guess I just sort of had that conversation. But I don't have to have that kind of conversation at work. If I did, I would want my choice of CGMS, no matter what they were, although I think the system you have now is great, but still, do you understand what I'm saying? I feel like you deserve you deserve choice, damn it. It's a lot. Do you ever feel unsafe at work?

Margaret 49:49
Sometimes, I guess it just depends on the situation and who I work with, because they we do have deputies. I've been there for a very long time. And they're just like, it is what it is. It is, you know, she should be i. And I'm just like, hello, here's another good story. So we used to have covid protocol when I was hired. So I was hired in 2020 but as a as a civilian, and then I went through the academy, got certified. And then when this dorm was the male intake covid. So they would fill up the whole dorm, they would quarantine for, I don't know, 10 to 14 days. And then they'd cows to where they're supposed to go based on their classification. So then that and I used to work with two amazing deputies that I miss every day. So, you know, they watch out for me. We look out for each other. They liked me because I watched them and I opened doors like, like, as they get to there, because you can't open doors too late and you don't want to open too early. So they, liked how I operate the board and the books, and that's what they want me there. But I get along with them great, and I miss them anyway. So they were both out for Christmas, Christmas Day, and I was with two other people who I never worked with before, and we had a guy come in the night prior, and he came in really drunk, so he was kind of being an issue throughout the night for the night shift people, and when we came in, they're like, yeah, just look out for him. He might, you know, be an issue. And I was like, Okay, great. So then I worked with a deputy who's very nonchalant, just was like, shrugged the shoulder and kept walking. It's just like, I understand that. But like, you know, I'm a woman in a male pod. Any, anything that could happen? Yeah, so the guy became a problem throughout the day about his pin number because you, because you have a pin number when you come in to make a phone call so he can call your family to get you out, call the bondsman or whoever you need to to basically get out of jail. So he just became an issue all day. Sergeant had to get involved. And then when a sergeant came, he's like, Oh yes, sir, I appreciate you. And it's just like a complete 180 and attitude. I was like, oh wow. Keep a mental note of that. So it was towards the end of the day, and I was escorting the nurse to do her rounds for whatever medication. And the guy was like, my pin number is still not working. So I told him that they just reset it. He's got to go in there and change it to what he will know the pin number will be so he can make his phone call. So the last guy comes out for medical, gets his meds, goes back in, and he's at the door again. So he is like, it's still not working. I said, then I don't know how to help you. I've tried to help you. And then he had the audacity of saying, Well, you haven't helped me. So I cussed at him, like, really bad. And I try not to cuss at inmates because a lot, because I try to be respectful. Because a lot of times if you're respectful to them, they were, they will be respectful back. But for him, totally different story. So I said, I haven't helped you. I had spent all motherf day trying to help your dumb ass get out of jail, out of my pod, so you can get the home. Because I do you think I want you here? No, the I don't. I'm I'm tired of helping you figure the out. And I slam the door, and he just, I watched him when I got back in the control room and the control tower, and he's just like looking at the other people, at the other inmates, and they were all laughing at him. So he sat down for a few minutes, and then went upstairs and fell asleep.

Scott Benner 53:54
It has occurred to me, Margaret, you have the worst customer service job in the world. That's really what is going on here, you know, you, you get on the phone with somebody, and they have to help you. It's their job, right? Like, you have to help them. And you can't, you know, and there's a laws to follow, etc, and everything like, this is the, this is like a CSR job from hell that you have. It really is, do you, but you like the job, though, right?

Margaret 54:17
I honestly do. I don't. I can't figure out why. I just, I don't know if it's because maybe I'm a people person, and I just, I don't know I like what I do. You

Scott Benner 54:28
like it? Yeah, what's cool? Listen, they say, if you like what you do, you never work a day in your life.

Margaret 54:34
I mean, you're not wrong. That's what I'm

Scott Benner 54:35
hearing. Listen, I have one like last question for you, and then I'll make sure that we've talked about everything that you wanted to talk about, but you sent me, like, a couple of pictures, and in one of those photos, you were playing an instrument that I cannot I don't know what it is. I mean, it's

Margaret 54:52
five feet I had to pull up my email too because I sent them. But

Scott Benner 54:54
listen, it's a five foot tall wind instrument. There can't be more than what. What in God's name is that? It,

Margaret 55:00
excuse me, was, am I in my marching uniform? No, you're not black dress. The black dress, okay, so that one is a, it's called a contra base clarinet. Like I said, I'm five foot six, and that thing is at least another four inches, at least three to four inches. So it is, yeah, it's quite big for that. That's another funny story. Try to find the email too, of the pictures I sent. Oh, here it is. I've

Scott Benner 55:30
never seen what, what would I need that like? What kind of music would I be playing if I was wearing that, if playing that thing?

Margaret 55:37
So for concert, I did bass clarinet, which a lot of people don't want bass clarinets, but my at the time band teacher for the first three years of my high school was okay with it, just because we helped the tubas to, kind of like make them sound better, to lift them, to make them seem louder. Because the the bass clarinet itself is not very loud instrument, but it helped support the sound of the tubas, because our tuba players were not very loud. Okay, um, so the Contra bass sent, you cannot march with that. That's a that's a concert instrument, okay, so if you look in the background, there's like a chair that's off color. It's like tan with blue legs. I see it. So I had, that's a high chair, because the other black chairs that we had, I wouldn't be able to reach the mouthpiece.

Scott Benner 56:29
Oh, I was gonna say, do you play it standing or sitting? That was my next question. Okay, I had to have a high chair, and then it goes way out in front of you, like a kickstand, right?

Margaret 56:38
Just how I just have in front of me and just straight up and down like that, just like by like that.

Scott Benner 56:45
No kidding, it's bonker. It looks like, it looks like I asked chat GPT to make a clarinet for you, and it got crazy and made it too big. That's exactly what it looks like. When did you start playing instruments? In high school,

Margaret 56:58
I was actually five when I started playing music, I started off with piano. I got a little bit into guitar, but I couldn't really do strings. Middle school, I did French horn, and then I wanted to play the clarinet, but my band teacher, middle school band teacher was like, Well, I don't have any more clarinets. I have a bass clarinet. I was like, Ooh, what's that? And he's like, here you go figure it out. I was like, Oh, I love it, thanks.

Scott Benner 57:26
I wanted a saxophone, and they didn't have one, and I gave up pretty quickly.

Margaret 57:31
And I wanted to do that one next but, um, and I wanted to do jazz, but I couldn't. I didn't have that free elective to pick from, yeah, so I picked culinary. So another funny story with with the chair incident I was talking about. So my senior year high school band teacher, she was, she was a character. So she knew I was diabetic. She didn't care, you know, she thought I didn't need any special privileges, like, I guess that stereotypical type of person that had the stereotypical thoughts about diabetics and everything. So I've had on and off issues with her about that. But, you know, I was just kind of like, I let me just graduate at this point, because I'm done. She had this rule where, if you were not in your seat by the second bell to warm up your instrument, you'd get lunch attention. So, you know, I didn't think nothing really of it, but that chair was the only chair that we had in the in the whole theater, part of of the of the school. So the chair could be in the band room, it could have been in the closet where we keep our our marching uniforms. It could have been on the theater, it could have been in the hallway. It could have been in the drama room or the choir room. It was like head in stake with that chair, not only that, but since the instrument is taller than me, it, you know, I had to get out of the closet and put it together, which only connected in two ways, one in the middle, and then the mouthpiece. It's mouthpiece itself. So then, you know, by the second bell, I didn't really think nothing of it, got my chair and warming up. So where, how we are sat. I sat like Deadshot middle of her, so she had full eye contact of me, and she's like, you want to explain to me why you're not in your chair this after the second bell. So I said I was looking for this chair because this is the only chair that we have where I can reach my mouthpiece. So she's as I'm talking. She writes a detention slip and she gives it to me. I said, I'm not taking that. She's like, why? I said because I'm diabetic and I have to leave class early to go and give myself insulin for lunch. So you are giving me, giving me 15 minutes of not eating as is, and adding another five to 10 minutes I have to leave before lunch to give myself insulin. That's a total of 20 to 30 minutes of me not eating after insulin. I'm not doing. Not and I could, you know, I told her, I can have the blood, blood sugar and the pass out. Yeah. She's like, take it. I said, Okay, watch this. So I took it. I went home. I said, Hey dad, guess who got lunch attention. He's like, Huh? So after I explained to them the whole spiel of what I just told you, and he's like, Well, why don't you just served the lunch tension. And I, you know, told him about the whole timing thing. He's like, Okay, gotcha So again, my dad was SRO. He called up the school dean, told him what happened, and he said, When you get off the bus tomorrow, or when you get there, go see the Dean real quick. So I was like, okay, so I got there, went to the dean, and he's, you know, he took me out, took my name off the list, so I didn't have the sort of lunch attention. And he's like, are you serious? Like, she's giving you lunch attention even though she she knows you're diabetic, and did it as like, yeah. So I think she found out, because she was very, very upset with me the next few classes. So,

Scott Benner 1:01:00
you know, it occurred to me earlier, I should have said to people that SRO means school resource officer, but it didn't occur to me that it was going to come out twice. But I have some advice, but it's not great advice. I think you should move out of Florida. I thought about it. That's my advice. I mean, I'm sure it's not Florida, it's just where you live specifically. But like, you know this could be in any state, any place, but you've just encountered so many people, their perspective seems to be one sided, and the way they impact you seems to be one sided, and I think it's left the mark on you. Like, I really do. Like, I don't know you all that well, obviously, but you seem like an upbeat person who spent a lot of time being told downbeat things, if that makes sense,

Margaret 1:01:48
and and at that, at one point, you know, I guess in the midst of things, I guess you could say I was depressed, you know, I believed, you know, I was not going to be normal. I was not going to be okay. I was going to have to live with this, and was not okay with it, because I wanted to do my own things. Yeah, I just don't know what the light switch was. I don't know if it was because I found the podcast and looked at other support groups, and it became hopeful, and then I was like, well, these people are living their lives regularly and doing, you know, first responder jobs or construction or truck driving or whatever. And I'm like, Well, I can do that, because I'm already doing it. So what's, what's stopped me from living up to my full potential? And then let the last I'd say, year and a half, I've made a drastic change, and even though I'm still having trouble losing weight, but I'm exceeding that expectation that was placed on me, right? So I do have piercings, I do have tattoos. I don't want children, but I'm not against it.

Scott Benner 1:02:56
Think you could get one out if you needed to, right? And it would be okay.

Margaret 1:02:59
I mean, you don't,

Scott Benner 1:03:01
do you believe that still, that it would be hard to have a baby? I

Margaret 1:03:04
still do just because I don't think my body will be able to handle it. But then again, you never know

Scott Benner 1:03:09
what's wrong with your body. You couldn't handle it. Is

Margaret 1:03:14
there other stuff going on? No, I just, I think it's just my my diabetes that, I guess is that that's still that fear factor. Because, again, I don't want to bring a innocent soul into this world that basically is cursed with, with what I have. Because people think, oh, you know, she'd be, she just guys do this, this and this, and she'd be all right. It's a lot more to that. So a lot of times, especially at jail, like, if there was, like, an MA that has diabetes and they don't understand, like, the difference between good and good, normal or bad numbers. They turn to me and be like, I have, basically have to explain it. Like, oh, yeah, no, this, this is what's going on.

Scott Benner 1:03:57
Yeah. Well, you're gonna find a lot of people don't understand their diabetes. Like, Oh, they don't, yeah, that's for sure. And you, you do now, did you for Did you always, or did the like, did the finding the podcast actually up your game?

Margaret 1:04:10
Uh, I think it did. Um, because I've, I've spoken about it a lot to a handful of people, especially, I think my boyfriend and I was like, Oh, listen, this podcast is about, I forgot the last one I listened to. I think there was one about a firefighter who was a firefighter, and he, know, he says that he does this, this and this. And even though he's more physically active, you know, you know, it just, it. Just brought that security,

Scott Benner 1:04:39
I guess. So if a firefighter could do it, you could do it, that

Margaret 1:04:41
kind of thing. Yes, yeah, no, it makes sense. If he can do it, why can't I? I

Scott Benner 1:04:46
think that's true. Also. I think you could easily have a baby if you want. I mean, what's your a 1c

Margaret 1:04:50
so the last one was 7.6 Okay, now that I'm on a new system since January, and still kind of fidgeting with my diet a lot. Little bit my doctor expects that my a 1c will be in the low, in the low six, okay, which I am seeing him in a another month, month and a half. So every time I go see him, like, Hey, how's my a 1c am i doing better? Because going from that previous doctor I was talking about to another doctor, she saw me twice and no longer wanted to see me. Didn't explain why. She just said, Not go somewhere else. And I was just like, Okay, but why? And that was it. She wouldn't explain herself to me. Did

Scott Benner 1:05:29
you feel like you were having a personal disagreement with her? So

Margaret 1:05:33
I guess she's the type to be like, Well, if you're not going to prove yourself that you want to get better within two sessions, she's done with you. She seems that type of person. It's an overtime thing. It's not like you're gonna just get better by tomorrow, but

Scott Benner 1:05:47
you had like, a seven, an A, 1c, in the sevens. That's where it's currently at. Yeah, where was it when you met her?

Margaret 1:05:54
It was in the higher elevens. She wouldn't first shirts tell me, until I had to go see my new endo because I had to get cleared to go to the corrections Academy, because there's a clinic here for for county employees. And the doctor, I put air quotes a doctor because I think he's a quack. But then again, I'm not a medical professional. He's told me that I need to go see an endo, because if not, then he was not going to clear me to go to the corrections Academy just because I was type one diabetic. I was like, okay, so then I went to see the My current doctor. I did blood work, and he's like, you're a 1c at Ben was 11.7 I was like, Oh, that doesn't sound good.

Scott Benner 1:06:43
How does that? How does that happen? Like, what? What decisions are not being made that lead to an 11, A, 1c, how long had that been going on? Did you know that what you were doing was leading to it? Or did you not care? Did you know and not care? Or did you not know?

Margaret 1:07:00
I believe I just needed more guidance. I guess they'll have that mind thought of I can basically do what I want and be okay. I did do a lot of research. I found the podcast I'm on a Reddit type one diabetics, and did, I did speak to a nutritionist a little over a year ago, and just kind of set that I made my own pave. Way, my own pavement. Yeah, that payment. Sorry. No, I made my own path.

Scott Benner 1:07:27
No, I hear what you're saying. I feel like, I mean, I feel like you found the podcast that gave you some ideas that that you could kind of reframe around, and now you're moving. Obviously, going from an 11 to a seven is amazing. There's no reason to think you can't go to a six or lower. You know what I mean? You know what you're doing. If you I mean, I would check on your your thyroid. If your thyroids an issue, then handle that. If it's not, you can look into other stuff. Glps aren't, aren't being prescribed through insurance for type ones yet. But like, there are other ideas, there are things you could maybe do to help yourself lose weight. If you're and I'm not asking you, but if you're, if your BMI is over 27 you could qualify for a GLP for weight loss, and then that would very likely impact your insulin needs. So you'd make you more insulin sensitive. You'd use less insulin, probably lose weight. Would change your diet. There's a lot of pathways here for you. I feel like you're just in the beginning. It's, I mean, it's exciting actually, like 11 years, but it feels like you're starting and and you're having a lot of success initially, which is fantastic.

Margaret 1:08:33
I've noticed that now my a 1c is with within, I guess, normal range, or even though, even though seven's a bit, I guess, high, I've noticed that I'm a lot more happier. I'm a lot more active, and working night shift is easier, right? Well, to me, it's easier. I did find a really good schedule that I put myself on as of late I haven't been on just because of the surgery, and I want to make sure I had, you know, the chance to recover like at work, there's a gym provided for us on my days off, I, you know, pack my snacks and label everything meal prepping. Or I get up a few hours before work and I cook something and just take it to work. They do have meals for us Monday to Friday, but it's not the best. But you know, you can't complain about free food. So if I episode

Scott Benner 1:09:29
876, is it's a best of but it's altered minds. It explains how high and low blood sugars make you feel differently, and high blood sugars will definitely create a lot of the problems that you just said seem to have been going away for you. So that's first secondly. I mean, you're, you're in a significantly different place right now than you were previously like, and it's happening kind of quickly, right? Is this all over, like the last year,

Margaret 1:09:53
as far as the job, or as far as a 1c coming

Scott Benner 1:09:57
down, the blood sugars, about the. Year and a half. Okay, that's really, first of all, congratulations. Like to go from the elevens to the sevens in a year and a half is really, it's wonderful. And it sounds like you did it by yourself, so that's hard work, and well done. And congratulations. There's no, no reason to think that it can't keep going down either. Again, I just think you're right at the beginning of all this. You might not even realize it, because it just feels like you've been doing it for so long, but you've got the information now, you seem to understand what you're doing with it. I don't see why the you know, I don't. I don't think you've run out of ceiling. I think there's more room to go if you want to go more

Margaret 1:10:33
right? And like I said, I've, I'm always pushing the boundaries and going from a juvenile to an adult diabetic. There was some things that were new to me, or I didn't like, realize or know about, like the the wait 15 minutes and then eat, rule after you've given yourself insulin, or whatever it was. I didn't know that. I didn't understand nutrition all the best. I mean, it was provided when I was a child, and that's why I went to to nutritionist and spoke to her to better understand, you know, because nutrition is always changing, I drink a lot of coffee. So another thing that I didn't really understand or know about was the ACT sugar and coffee creamer, even though it's labeled sugar free. So I've noticed, like, I buy this coffee creamer, and then I would have high blood sugar for like, a few hours during the daytime, and I'm like, why is my sugar high? You know, I'm not eating breakfast, or I'm eating a or having a protein shake that's got, you know, very little carbs. And I just didn't

Scott Benner 1:11:37
understand. I don't know if it's the creamer, but I can tell you that coffee makes some people have to bolus for coffee. Some people don't, but some people do. And

Margaret 1:11:45
I, I didn't know that, but when I realized it was the added sugar and the coffee creamer, I switched to a different coffee creamer, and that helped. It never had a problem. Since it's, you see, I was just like, it's little things that, you know, people don't tell you about.

Scott Benner 1:11:59
Also, you're just, I mean, listen, it's hard for me a little bit, because in the photo that's in front of me, you're like, it looks like you're at a wedding maybe, and you're like, Your makeup is done, and you're dressed up like you look like, you know, you look older, but you're not that old. You're only 26 the one on the Zoom cam, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, in that one, like, if you told me, like, oh, that she's in her 30s, I'd go, I believe that. Like, but you're not like, you're really just getting started. Like, there's you're not an age where you're like, you should know everything already. It might feel that way, but I feel like in many ways, you're just getting going with your life. Give me you're two years older than my son, who the other day said to me, I don't know what I'm doing. And I was like, No, I know. I'm just, I'm still trying to figure it out. Yeah, exactly. You're very much the beginning of all this. Like, I'm not telling you to have a baby. I don't think people who don't want to have a kid should have kids, but I wouldn't be surprised either of five years from now, you felt differently after your blood sugar not being high all the time for a while, you've proven to yourself that you know how to take care of yourself, like that kind of stuff. You don't know how, like, your vision of the world will change. You know what I mean? Like, right now, you're coming from a very specific perspective, and an 11, A, 1c, is definitely got you altered. You were probably had brain fog. You didn't know about, like, there was a lot of stuff going on. You're probably snappier, right? Like, like, short tempered, like, that kind of stuff.

Margaret 1:13:21
I was more depressed, depressed. Okay, my dad is the snappy one, and he's type two. When he gets high, he gets a little snappy. And we're like, check our blood sugar, and he's just like,

Scott Benner 1:13:31
I think the way you feel about your life could change a number of times over the next couple of years. I think you should just keep doing what you're doing and keep believing in yourself and learning and adding to your knowledge base and caring for yourself, because I think you're you're really on your way to something wonderful.

Margaret 1:13:47
And I've noticed that in the past year, year and a half, that I've been like wanting to get better, like, you know, I was tired of being tired and depressed and not loving myself and constantly seeing high numbers, and I just that change, and then now where I'm at, you know, I am happier, and you know, I've loved every bit of my journey, and I'm still going, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. And that's, you know, even after all the negativity I've been put through in my life, and the bullying and, you know, not, you know people are like, Oh, she's probably gonna die young and she's not gonna take care of herself if they could see me now, it's just, it'll just be a slap in the face, because I'm loving life, I'm thriving and I'm happy. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:14:39
them, you get them, yeah, you get to decide, forget that. Don't listen to those people do what you think is right, and don't let them tell you what you are or what you can

Margaret 1:14:49
accomplish. Please prove everybody wrong.

Scott Benner 1:14:53
God damn right. You are. Thank

Margaret 1:14:54
you for being here. Bye, yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 1:14:56
Well, let us. Let us end on that. Hold on one second. You. Omnipodence.

Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test can spot type one diabetes early tap now talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com for more info. A huge thanks to the contour next gen blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of The juicebox podcast. Learn more and get started today at contour, next.com/juicebox this episode of The juicebox podcast was sponsored by us Med, usmed.com/juicebox or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us Med, links in the show notes. Links at juicebox podcast.com if you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you're looking for some fresh perspective. The bowl beginning series from the juicebox podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series. Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player, or you can go to juicebox podcast.com and click on bold beginnings in the menu. Okay. Well, here we are at the end of the episode. You're still with me. Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review? Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribed in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me, or Instagram. Tiktok. Oh gosh, here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page you don't want to miss. Please do not know about the private group. You have to join the private group. As of this recording, it has 51,000 members in it. They're active, talking about diabetes, whatever you need to know. There's a conversation happening in there right now, and I'm there all the time. Tag me. I'll say hi. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group. Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome. Type one type two, gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community. Check out juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook, the episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongway recording.com. You.


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#1345 I Don't Understand... Arden Six

Scott Benner

Arden and Scott discuss inner monologue and other things. 

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon MusicGoogle Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio PublicAmazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT


DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The juicebox Podcast.

Today, Arden and I are going to talk about inner monolog and some other thinking related stuff. I don't want to get too technical. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident, if you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d exchange.org/juice box and take the survey. When you complete that survey, your answers are used to move type one diabetes research of all kinds. So if you'd like to help with type one research, but don't have time to go to a doctor or an investigation and you want to do something right there from your sofa. This is the way t 1d exchange.org/juice, box. It should not take you more than about 10 minutes. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com

this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, gvoke hypopen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox. This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by AG, one drink. AG, one.com/juice box. When you use my link and place your first order, you're going to get a welcome kit, a year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs. Today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by OmniPod and the OmniPod five learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juice box. A hard and what's up? Are you having fun making the podcast with me? I

Arden Benner 2:15
like how you started that. Like we haven't been talking to each other for the last 10 minutes.

Scott Benner 2:19
People need to know where the conversation begins. We can't just be in the middle of a conversation when start recording. We went over a lot of important things before we started. Yeah, we did. How's school going? Let's talk about it for a second. How long have you been there now?

Unknown Speaker 2:35
What like four weeks? I

Scott Benner 2:36
think it feels kind of weird. Yeah, you know what?

Arden Benner 2:41
I was talking to mom, and I learned that I'll be home

Scott Benner 2:45
every month, except for February, really.

Arden Benner 2:49
So I was home in September, right? October is my fall break. November's Thanksgiving, December's Christmas. January is New Year's. I'll be here February. March is spring break. And April, I'm done.

Scott Benner 3:06
And that's really odd, because at your last institution of higher learning,

Arden Benner 3:10
I wouldn't see you for like, six months straight. Yeah,

Scott Benner 3:13
you'd be gone for a really, really long time. You know, interesting. All right. Well, you know what we're going to talk about today? Nope, today we're going to talk about internal monologs.

Arden Benner 3:23
Oh, actually, I was talking about that in my psych class today.

Scott Benner 3:26
Where are you? Yep,

Arden Benner 3:28
we're learning about consciousness, and we just started learning about sleep.

Scott Benner 3:31
Okay, well, what did you learn about consciousness and sleep today?

Arden Benner 3:35
Well, we were talking about consciousness last class too. So it's like we learned a bunch, but basically we were just kind of learning, like, is, well, you would like this, like, dogs technically aren't conscious.

Scott Benner 3:50
I mean, I could tell that from basal, yeah. But I'm

Arden Benner 3:53
saying, like, you're always saying, like, he has no idea what's going on, like, I got you're kind of right. I'm right, right. Um, yeah, but there's like a couple Adam like, some mammals that do know they're conscious. So it's like humans, when they're like, 18 months old, know they're conscious. Chimpanzees know they're conscious. Elephants know their conscious. And dolphins know. Because we all have like a, like, a higher, advanced, like frontal lobe, or something like that, something like

Scott Benner 4:18
that. What does that mean? How does that like? What's the definition of I understand?

Arden Benner 4:24
So basically, there's something called the mirror test, and you place someone in front of a mirror, and if they they either react like some like something else is in front of them, or that they're or they understand that they're in front of them. So basically, they put, like the chimpanzees to sleep, gave them some drugs, and then placed like a red.on their forehead. And then when they woke up, there was like a mirror. And they so, like, they have no idea this thing's on their head, there's a mirror. And they walked up to the mirror, and instead of, like, going to touch the mirror because there's another chimp in front of them, they touch their own heads. And we're trying to. Off the dot,

Scott Benner 5:00
okay, but most animals, yeah, most animals probably wouldn't do that. Gotcha? Dolphins, yes, dolphins know that they're interesting.

Arden Benner 5:12
Dolphins also, their brains are bigger than ours, and they like the part of the brain where it's like the emotional response is actually a lot more complex than ours. Is

Scott Benner 5:23
they're more advanced emotionally than we are. Yeah, interesting, huh? Yeah, okay, that has nothing to do with our topic, but I love it.

Arden Benner 5:35
Yeah, that's what I was I was learning about all that stuff today. I have a exam next week, so gotta start. Gotta lock

Scott Benner 5:43
in how you been doing so far on your the testing that you've encountered.

Arden Benner 5:47
I've only taken quizzes, but I've gotten 100 on all of them. There you go. Nice.

Scott Benner 5:51
Congratulations.

Unknown Speaker 5:52
Thank you very much. Are

Scott Benner 5:53
you enjoying this more classic type of college? Yeah, yeah. Is it? Is it better than the more hands on thing at SCAD?

Arden Benner 6:08
I think so. Personally, okay, I would say, yeah.

Scott Benner 6:11
Okay, good. What do you like about it that's different? Is your schedule. Feel like I'm using my brain.

Arden Benner 6:18
I like to just sit down and take notes. I don't, I realize I don't really like, like creating stuff is more like something I would do when I don't have like, it's I don't want creating things to be a task.

Scott Benner 6:31
So when you're being creative, you like it to be for fun or recreation. Yeah,

Arden Benner 6:36
definitely learn that. Um, but, yeah, I don't know. I just want to come home, put on my pajamas, crack open a Mountain Dew, put on Bob's Burgers and take some notes. And that is what I do. That's your afternoon. Oh, my God, guess what episode came on today of Bob's Burgers? Which episode The one where they're teaching Tina how to drive in the parking lot?

Scott Benner 7:01
Oh, the thing you sent me the clip of, Oh, my God, it's so funny.

Arden Benner 7:04
I've seen it four times, and every time I'm like, Oh, this is so funny.

Scott Benner 7:09
What's is it, though? Is it the setup? Though, you like the way the actor spoke one of the lines, right?

Arden Benner 7:16
Yeah. It's like, they walk out of the store or something, and he's like, Oh, the parking lot's very empty. Gina, and she's so dumb. And she's like, uh, all right. He's like, You know what that means? And she's like, No. He's like, you get the keys. And she's like, why would i What do I do with the keys? And he's like, drive the car. And then they get in the car, and she it's the only car at the parking lot. Oh, my God, it's fantastic.

Scott Benner 7:40
I've never seen the Bob's Burgers. Are you telling me I have to listen or watch

Arden Benner 7:43
some episodes are amiss. Some are a hit. Okay, really depends. Every once in a while

Scott Benner 7:49
you're really very nice. Okay, good background, for sure. Yeah, good

Arden Benner 7:54
background. Okay. Anyways,

Scott Benner 7:55
so how did this come up in our house? We were talking about it one day, and you were surprised to know that, I

Arden Benner 8:04
think I had asked if your inner monolog was your voice or someone else's voice.

Scott Benner 8:11
And I said, What are you talking about? Yeah, right. So try to explain to me I don't understand what you're what you're experiencing. So why don't you first explain to me when? When are you most aware of it? Is it constant? If you take insulin or Sulfonyl ureas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G vo hypo pen. My daughter carries jevo hypopen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, gevok hypopen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store GEVO kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at gevok, glucagon.com/juicebox, juicebox gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke, glucagon.com/risk, for safety information. Today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by OmniPod, and before I tell you about OmniPod, the device, I'd like to tell you about OmniPod, the company. I approached OmniPod in 2015 and asked them to buy an ad on a podcast that I hadn't even begun to make yet because the podcast didn't have any. Listeners, all I could promise them was that I was going to try to help people living with type one diabetes, and that was enough for OmniPod. They bought their first ad, and I used that money to support myself while I was growing the juicebox podcast. You might even say that OmniPod is the firm foundation of the juicebox podcast, and it's actually the firm foundation of how my daughter manages her type one diabetes every day, omnipod.com/juicebox whether you want the OmniPod five or the OmniPod dash, using my link, let's OmniPod know what a good decision they made in 2015 and continue to make to this day. OmniPod OmniPod is easy to use, easy to fill, easy to wear. And I know that because my daughter has been wearing one every day since she was four years old, and she will be 20 this year, there is not enough time in an ad for me to tell you everything that I know about OmniPod, but please take a look omnipod.com/juicebox dot com, slash juicebox. I think OmniPod could be a good friend to you, just like it has been to my daughter and my family,

Speaker 1 11:08
yes, but like when when you read a

Arden Benner 11:13
book, for example, this part, I can't wrap my head around that you don't have an inner monolog, because when I read a book, there's a voice in my head that is saying those words out loud so that I can take them in and understand them. And you hear the voice. I can hear the voice, yeah, not literally, but see, I'm

Scott Benner 11:32
already lost. I don't know what you're saying. I mean, my internal monolog, if I have one, is that when I'm thinking about something, I feel like I can hear my thoughts, but not audibly. I don't

Arden Benner 11:44
know what that like you were trying to explain it as like you feel your thoughts instead of hear them. Or that's that's what Liv had said to me. That's how Liv put it there. Yeah, that's how she explained it. She was like, sometimes I feel things as like, colors or moods. And I was like, what like? I don't understand. Like, you don't just like think. And she was like, no or like, when we were asked both to think of an apple, like, I close my eyes and I think of a real apple. And she said that she thinks of like a drawing of an apple.

Scott Benner 12:13
And if you ask me to do it, I can't do that. I understand how that's possible. I can't see an apple at all, like, I don't see it. You know what I see when I close my eyes, darkness, yes. And I don't even know if that's what blind people see or not. So I'm still kind of lost. But I just see black. I can't picture anything like, hold on, let's pick something really simple,

Arden Benner 12:35
an apple. I said, an apple. Okay, no, black. I

Scott Benner 12:40
just see, I just see black. The moon. The moon. Okay, can you see the moon? No, same, black. It looked like the apple. Do you see a moon when you close your eyes? Yeah, I imagine the moon, really. But I can't hold on. Let me imagine the moon. What the hell is the what? I don't know. I'm trying to try. I don't know. I don't I try to imagine. I don't see anything. I don't see nothing, nothing. I see black.

Arden Benner 13:03
It's not like the moon appears. It's like, yeah, like, you close your eyes and see black, but then your brain, like, makes the image of the moon kind of sitting in the center. Nope,

Scott Benner 13:12
nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nothing. Did. Liv, listen. Liv, the one who told you that she actually sees red when she's angry.

Unknown Speaker 13:20
Yes, she

Scott Benner 13:21
does see red,

Unknown Speaker 13:24
the whole joke. Now,

Scott Benner 13:24
do you even understand that?

Arden Benner 13:26
Like I understand it. I don't see red when I'm angry, but I understand what she's saying.

Scott Benner 13:31
Is she saying that like her vision looks tinted,

Arden Benner 13:33
I think, like she literally sees the color red, but

Scott Benner 13:36
like as an overlay, or solid, I

Arden Benner 13:40
think, should I think a solid when people

Scott Benner 13:43
become angry, their body undergoes physiological changes, heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, adrenaline is released. These changes can cause flushing in the neck, in the face, making your skin appear red. Visual changes when people don't actually, while people don't actually see the color red when they're angry. Extreme emotions like anger can cause changes in perception. Adrenaline, for example, and stress can narrow a field of vision, give you tunnel vision, or even cause visual distortions, which can feel like seeing red metaphorically, wow, I don't have that either. I've been pretty mad. I

Arden Benner 14:20
don't have that. Yeah, you kind of go insane when you're a man. I don't have that either.

Scott Benner 14:25
Oh yeah, I guess so I'm better, yes. So, I mean, I'm trying to think that I get better as

Arden Benner 14:32
I get older. Do you or do I have to hold you back in certain scenarios? I

Scott Benner 14:36
have not had, like, a feeling like that in a while, actually, since you and I were pulling out of the Walgreens parking lot that one time.

Arden Benner 14:44
Yeah, and then before, or was it before or after that when, um,

Scott Benner 14:47
someone ran a red light. Oh, and would have, like, just,

Arden Benner 14:52
that was just t boned us, yeah, and you stopped, and I had to hold your arm so you didn't, like, run after them and kill them. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:59
I'm sure I just would have spoken to them strongly about their not paying attention. You know what I mean? Yeah, all right, so you close your eyes and anything you think of, you see, yes, and I don't have that at all. Okay, so why can someone see an object in their mind's eye, which I think that's what that's called, and some can't. So does this make me more intelligent? What if I find out it makes you mentally unstable? Hold on a second lunch. Wait till you see I don't think that's true. The ability to see an object in a mind's eye or create a visual imagery is in one's imagination. Varies from person to person. Some people have a vivid mental imagery where they can clearly visualize objects, people or scenes in their minds as if they were actually seeing them. Others may have little to no capacity for it. It's a Oh, a phenomenon known as aphantasia, and afftasia. How about that? Affata is good.

Arden Benner 16:06
I have realized, oh, sorry, I'm I'm adjusting. I have a heating pad on under my butt, and it's like, really hot.

Scott Benner 16:14
Hold on. I think I turned it all the way up by accident. You always sit on a heating pad.

Arden Benner 16:21
Yeah. It feels so nice. It like makes my tummy feel good. Okay,

Scott Benner 16:24
nice. So some people may be naturally a more visual thinker, while others think more in words. So this is interesting. I think in words for sure. Do you think in pictures? No, I think in words. Want to hear something crazy. Wait, I

Arden Benner 16:39
don't understand if you can think in words, how can't you hear the words?

Scott Benner 16:43
I just know they're there, but I don't hear them also. While I'm a word thinker, I speak in pictures. Have you ever noticed that, like, I use a lot of imagery when I'm speaking? It's what people hate about me and my family and love about me on the internet.

Arden Benner 16:59
Oh, all right, wait. I was gonna say,

Scott Benner 17:03
go ahead. Mom describes my writing as flowery. What does that mean? She thinks it's too

Arden Benner 17:09
Oh, writing like words you'd like when

Scott Benner 17:11
I write, like, your like, actual like, signature, no, not, not my hand, my handwriting.

Arden Benner 17:16
I was like, That is not flowery at all. Maybe like, if it was wilting,

Scott Benner 17:21
I have terrible penmanship, like, if, if I ever, like, go crazy and, you know, do something insane, they'll point to my handwriting, and they'll say, we should have known this was coming. But what were you gonna say? I'm sorry. I

Arden Benner 17:34
don't know. I, like, had something I was gonna say in the night, and then the heat hit my butt, and I couldn't remember. Close your

Scott Benner 17:39
eyes, see if you can picture

Arden Benner 17:42
it. Oh, yeah, that was it. So I do find that like so if you want me to close my eyes and imagine something, I can imagine absolutely anything. I have a hard time remembering the exact features of people. So I can picture a person, but then I'll think about it really deeply, and I'm like, You know what? Like, now that I'm thinking about it like, I'm not sure if I have this portion of their face correct, and I think I kind of, like, mess up their face in my brain a little bit. I don't know why. Like, even like people I've known my whole life, like, like, even you, like, I can picture you, and then at some point, like, I'd be thinking about it so hard can see such a clear photo. I'm kind of, like, 3d like, going around your head. And I'm like, Wait, that's not right. Like, something's off, really,

Unknown Speaker 18:28
yeah, oh, I

Scott Benner 18:29
can't picture people in my mind at all. I can,

Arden Benner 18:31
like, rotate around a photo, like, it can, like, spin in front of me, so I can see the front and back and up of everything. So

Scott Benner 18:37
this is gonna sound crazy, but like, I'm using Cole as an example, because he's downstairs and I saw him 20 minutes ago with my eyes open. I this is going to sound stupid to you, because either we're describing something differently or we're having two completely different experiences, but I know what Cole looks like. Yeah, I know what Cole looks like, too. I can't picture him, but I'm aware that I'm thinking about him, and I can describe him to you right now, but I'm not seeing him. Yeah, I don't understand that at all. Yeah, I had a dream the other night about mom, and it was like a like a beat for beat lunch that we had together when she was, like 20 and she was in college, like I could picture the restaurant we were in and like her sitting across from me and like this whole thing,

Arden Benner 19:30
I had a dream last night that I had a professor, no one. I like, just a random person I made up in my head, and they were like a killer, and they like kidnapped my class.

Scott Benner 19:40
Wait, a random pretend Professor kidnapped your class. Yeah, where do you take you? Like

Arden Benner 19:47
a house, like some sort of house, like cabony house. I don't know. I don't have all the details. I remember waking up and then thinking, Am I going to go to psychology or not? Psychology philosophy is

Scott Benner 19:59
that the 10. She sent me this morning. A lot of you might get your energy in the morning from coffee or soda, but I love drinking, ag one first thing in the morning because it gives me an energy boost without that caffeine crash. And I also know that my body is getting the nutritional support that it needs to power itself throughout the day. Ag one contains pre and probiotics and gut support ingredients to support your digestion, reduce bloating and to help keep you regular, all of ag one's ingredients are non GMO, and it contains no added sugar. It just helps to fill my nutrient gaps and support my gut health all day long. So start with ag one and notice the difference for yourself. It's a great first step to investing in your health, and that's why they've been a proud partner of mine for so long. Try ag one and get a free bottle of vitamin d3, k2, and five free. Ag one travel packs with your first purchase at drink. Ag one.com/juice box. That's a $48 value for free if you go to my link, drink ag one.com/juicebox check it out. Yeah. And you know what? Let

Arden Benner 21:08
me just say, I think I made a great decision, because yesterday, in my recitation, I got a gold star because I was doing so well. And next class, I have this class again on Thursday. He literally spends the first 20 minutes recapping the class before and then goes into what we're learning that day. So I was like, and he puts the notes online right after class. So I was like, What am I missing here? Nothing. I'm missing 50 extra minutes of sleep

Scott Benner 21:36
feeling good about paying for that class too. No, I

Arden Benner 21:38
actually, I go to the recitation. I go. That is the second time I skipped that class, and it was the same day each time, and I've been fine. Okay,

Scott Benner 21:46
hold on a second. I want to look this. I've been looking at this word more, but I don't want to keep saying it incorrectly. So hold on. One second. Hold on. There's a word that begins with a that means that you don't have a mind's eye. How do you pronounce it?

Speaker 2 22:00
The word you're thinking of is a Fantasia. It's pronounced a Fantasia. It refers to the inability to visualize images in one's mind, a fantasy

Scott Benner 22:10
talking to you. That's chatgpt Four. Oh, that's my chatgpt app.

Unknown Speaker 22:15
That's a that's a woman. Yeah,

Scott Benner 22:17
I gave her a woman's voice. Why did you do that? I find it.

Arden Benner 22:21
Are you having marriage troubles

Scott Benner 22:24
with aphantasia? Aphantasia Sounds like a girl I met at a strip club,

Arden Benner 22:29
speaking of a things, I was today in the episode of Bob's Burgers, they're talking about, what is it called the Green liquor, Absinthe. And I was, like, looking into it.

Scott Benner 22:43
I'm like, did you know it's illegal? It can make you blind, right?

Arden Benner 22:47
Can you can, like, hallucinate people have, like, murdered people on it? Yeah. My god, that's crazy. Remember in New Girl when they drink it, is it green? Yeah. And they like, and what's her name? John mulaney's wife.

Scott Benner 23:02
John Mulaney is married to that girl that got famous on The Daily Show. I

Arden Benner 23:08
don't know why I thought her name is Minka Kelly, and it's not, oh, it's Olivia Munn. Olivia Munn, yes, and yeah. And she's, like, dating Nick. And then they, like, shoot a gun or something. Yes.

Scott Benner 23:19
Okay, anyways,

Unknown Speaker 23:21
all right.

Scott Benner 23:22
I don't know how that happened, but I'm getting off track. Don't forget, listen to this. Aphantasia is believed to be rare, affecting an estimated one to 4% of the population. These individuals have no mind's eye or their imagination is essentially blind. The ability to visualize events and images often plays an important part in people's lives. What am I missing? So

Arden Benner 23:45
are you like missing part of your brain? What's going on is

Scott Benner 23:48
aphantasia, a type of autism the internet's ridiculous. Hold on. Oh yes, aphantasia and autism linked by impaired imagination and social skills.

Arden Benner 23:59
Wait and you have aphantasia?

Scott Benner 24:01
I mean, I can't see the apple. Yeah, I don't know. Well, folks, Well, folks, what is yes? Are you on the spectrum? Dad,

Arden Benner 24:18
I don't spectrum is it's, it's broad,

Scott Benner 24:20
I don't believe so to remember

Arden Benner 24:27
one time I was watching Big Brother with Sanj and mom, and we're watching a show, and this girl on the show was like, saying, she was like, Oh, I'm on the spectrum. And Sanj was like, Oh, she's gay. Is

Scott Benner 24:42
that what she thought it meant? Are you sure you want to tell tell people that Sanj didn't understand that?

Arden Benner 24:46
And I was like, we were in like, eighth grade or something. And I was like, what? And she was like, she's gay, she's on spectrum. And I was like, no, she has autism, Sanj, and we had to literally explain that to her. Was, it was a great day. I was like, Wow.

Scott Benner 25:03
I missed, I missed eighth grade. I know, all right. Well, it has nothing to do with IQ. Apparently I just can't see pictures in my head. When you're speaking and you go on long like monologs, right? You're going to talk for a while to people, and it's, it's a couple of minutes of talking. Do you pre plan what you're going to say? Like, do you ever see people sit around real quietly and then all of a sudden they launch into something? Like, they've been thinking about it? I don't

Speaker 3 25:32
know. I guess it depends on the situation, because when I speak

Scott Benner 25:35
at length, like, if, if I'm interviewing somebody on the podcast, they're saying something. I'm I'm listening, listening, listening, and then when I start to respond, I really don't know what I'm going to say, and then I start going, and I build on it, and sometimes I'll get to the end and think, I don't know if that made any sense, but the person I'm speaking to was like, that's so perfectly said. And I'm like, I don't even know what I just said. That's

Arden Benner 25:57
how I feel when I write. Because when I write, I don't like, stop. I just, like, put all my words down, and then I realize that they make sense. Yeah, yeah, we're creative writers, not analytical writers. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 26:08
definitely couldn't. I couldn't write technically, for sure,

Arden Benner 26:11
yeah, I can't, and I have to do that soon. So I think my world may collapse.

Scott Benner 26:17
I burn a ton of calories when I'm speaking in public, like when I because I just did it this weekend, and it's it eats up so much of my energy.

Arden Benner 26:29
But like, so who told who told you that the calorie burning elf, how do you know

Scott Benner 26:33
I know? Because I'm dizzy when it's over and I have to eat well, or maybe you don't eat enough. Oh, I ate a fork. No, no. I ate before which you have a chip and a piece of a little slice of butter. No, I got up in the morning and I ate some fruit, some salt. Are you listening to me? A banana? Had a little, you know, like a scrambled egg,

Arden Benner 26:51
some fruit and a banana, some fruits like, those are the same thing, a banana. I

Scott Benner 26:55
had a banana, and I was gonna say fruit, and I remembered it was a banana, and then I

Arden Benner 26:59
saw, all I've heard is that you've had fruit in a banana. What else?

Scott Benner 27:02
Banana? Eggs. I had a couple of grapes and a piece of bread. Yeah, and then I spoke, and then when I'm done, I'm drained.

Speaker 3 27:12
Well, that's not that much food, Dad. Don't think so. No.

Scott Benner 27:16
I mean, it's protein and sugar and, like, fruity sugar, all that stuff. There is a little adrenaline too. I think there's kind of like a letdown afterwards from adrenaline, which I do think happens.

Arden Benner 27:30
But is that a, I think it's a come down on a letdown,

Unknown Speaker 27:34
uh, come down by fueling your own drugs.

Scott Benner 27:36
I think let down is pretty reasonable to say there. All right, we have to get back to the internal monolog thing. But I was going to tell you that, like, I know what I'm going to say, like, I got on stage this a couple of times this weekend. I just have to figure out how I'm going to start, and then I know once I start, I'll get through it, and that people will enjoy it when it's over, it won't be like, people aren't going to be staring, going to, my God, like, Come on, man.

Arden Benner 28:00
I'm not really given monologs, so I don't,

Scott Benner 28:03
yeah, I was just wondering, because I wondered if your inner, like I wondered, is a voice talking to you while you're speaking, if you hear the words before you say them, because mine come out of nothingness, that's what I was getting at. No,

Arden Benner 28:19
it's not like the words are said in my head and then I spew them out, like it's just like, if I'm talking, I'm just talking, but when I do speak, there is a voice in my head that's repeating the words. So the words are being repeated in my head by that voice while they're coming out of my mouth.

Scott Benner 28:35
Hmm, so you're saying that while I'm talking right now, it would almost be like an echo, kind of,

Arden Benner 28:42
there's like another voice on top of it. It's kind of like, you know, when you're editing something and you have, like, the sound from the video, and then you put music on top of it,

Scott Benner 28:49
yeah, it's kind of like that, okay, when I finished my book, I called the editor, or the the publisher, excuse me, and I said, I need some extra time. And they said, why? And I said, I want to read the book out loud to myself to see what it'll sound like when other people hear it. Because if I sat and read it, it didn't have like I couldn't feel anything about it.

Arden Benner 29:22
Sometimes when I was younger, if I had to read something, the voice in my head would, like, talk really loud when it was reading. So I was like, Oh, I feel like I'm not, like, understanding. So I would read out loud, because it kind of like took over the other voice. Like, sometimes I have to do that if I'm like, okay, whatever. Like, the voice in my head keeps repeating it that I'm not understanding it, that understanding it, then I have to read it out loud. So there's only one, like dominant voice talking. I

Scott Benner 29:47
want to go over a couple things that I've learned here. People have different cognitive styles. This says which refers to the preferred ways in which they think, learn and process information. Some individuals are more verbal. Thinkers, meaning they naturally think in words, or hear an inner dialog, which is weird, because I guess I don't think in words, then others might be visual thinkers who are process information through images. I don't do it that way, either or spatial. I do both of those things, okay? Or there's abstract thinkers who think in concepts or feelings rather than words. I think that might be what I am.

Arden Benner 30:22
Yeah, you're an abstract I think that's what Liv is too, okay, but I'm the first two. Inner speech

Scott Benner 30:28
typically develops during childhood, as children learn to use language to guide their actions and thoughts. For some this inner dialog becomes a dominant way of thinking, continuing into adulthood. However, not everyone develops this habit to the same degree, and some may rely more on nonverbal forms of thought. Okay, oh, this is interesting. Brain imaging studies have shown that Different people use different parts of their brain when thinking. For those who experience inner speech, the brain's language related areas tend to be more active, but in contrast, people who do not hear an inner voice may have less activation in these regions during thought, and instead engage areas related to visual processing or other cognitive function. So is that why I speak in like pictures?

Arden Benner 31:13
Is it like the thalamus or something I'm like learning about this stuff now the thalamus might be like a senses or something like Broca's area, b, r, O, yeah, broka, yeah. I'm learning about all that, but what's No, but what's in brokers? Oh,

Scott Benner 31:28
find out in a second. I took that passage, and I'm asking it if that could be the reason why you think and communicate more in imagery. Brain imaging studies, who suggest that people are more visual thinkers tend to activate differently different areas of the brain, such as those related to visual processing, like the occipital lobe, rather than the areas associated

Arden Benner 31:47
lobe is the lobe all the way in the back. It's for like vision.

Scott Benner 31:54
If you find your thoughts are more image based rather than word based, it might mean that your brain naturally favors visual spatial processing.

Arden Benner 32:00
If this lobe gets damaged, like that's when people go blind.

Scott Benner 32:04
Oh, really. Also, you know someone watching that

Arden Benner 32:09
it's a dagger in your eye. Then that could do it too.

Scott Benner 32:12
I could do it as well. This could be more inclined to think. This could make you more inclined to think in picture scenes or visual metaphors. It could also influence how you express yourself, often using imagery to convey ideas or emotions, that is what I do. The way I say it out loud is I kind of speak in pictures. I tell stories through I don't know that's crazy,

Arden Benner 32:34
but you the thalamus is um, for sensory and motor information, okay,

Scott Benner 32:41
the interesting thing is that you and I, I think we communicate similarly with other people, yeah, but you're coming from one part of your brain, and I'm coming from the other, and we're both doing the same thing when it comes out of our mouths.

Arden Benner 32:57
I guess that makes sense, though, because I'm, like, more introverted than you are. So we kind of like think the same, but we don't completely act the same, like when we're in conversation. I guess that makes sense. You use, the more like emotional part of your brain. I use, the more like words.

Scott Benner 33:13
Yeah, I do that constantly. I think it makes mom crazy. Sometimes

Arden Benner 33:19
mom just uses, like, wherever the numbers are,

Scott Benner 33:22
you know, because I'm like, This is how it feels. How does it make you feel? She's like, I don't know. Like, okay,

Arden Benner 33:27
Mom told me that she took a, like, a little quiz to, it's about, like, a emotional intelligence at work or something that they had to take. And I was like, well, it was empathy last and she was like, it was actually very high. So I think somebody needs to look over her shoulder when she takes the next

Scott Benner 33:41
she was lying. Oh, it's funny. You said something. I had a question about when you say that I feel more introverted. Like, how do you feel like that impacts you in your daily life. You okay? So

Arden Benner 33:58
when I get dressed and I go to class, I get in the elevator. I have my headphones on. I, you know, like, acknowledge people in the elevator. I don't try to make conversation with them. I go where I need to go. I sit down, I open my laptop, I do my work. When I go eat, I'll, like, watch it, like, watch a show or something, do all this stuff. If you were in that situation when you entered the elevator with someone, you would make a conversation. With them. When you sat down in class, you would probably turn to the people besides you listen to what they're saying and add to it like I don't I'm not doing that, but I bet that if we're listening to the same conversation or in the same elevator, we're having the same types of thoughts, but that our actions are completely different. Okay, so

Scott Benner 34:40
when you and I are in the elevator together, we're experiencing other people. You think that we are having the same exact reactions, or close to the same reactions, to what we're hearing, but you would never engage with them. That's

Arden Benner 34:51
not true. Like I might, but I don't like, I don't want to,

Scott Benner 34:55
not inclined to, yeah, but then it does that make you i.

Arden Benner 34:59
But if I told you, if I told you, like, Dad, you cannot engage with anyone today, you'd probably, like, start, like, going insane.

Scott Benner 35:09
I don't know, some days I don't talk to anybody. Well,

Arden Benner 35:12
I know. But if you're in a situation where, like, you want to talk to people, and I told you, like, you can't do it,

Scott Benner 35:18
oh, and I'm like, an excited kid who you're telling not to run away. Yeah, yeah, that could happen. I hear you have a lot of I have a lot of thoughts. Yeah, I know you do. When you have one of those thoughts and you don't release it or share it with somebody, doesn't it feel wasted to some degree? No,

Arden Benner 35:38
I realized, like, you know, ambi ambiverts, or whatever. It's like in the middle of It's like someone who's both introverted and extroverted. Okay, I think that's what I am. Because, like, after a long day, like, I want to come home and I want to sit here and do my work and be by myself, and then I can, like, gain my energy, sleep, watch television, whatever. But I do enjoy going out and doing stuff with my friends. But like, if my friends want to go to the club, I don't know something like that. I need to know that that's happening a couple days prior. I don't want to know that night that we're all going to go do something. Why? What happens? I need to know what's happening and build the energy to like, I need to know throughout the whole day that later tonight, I have something I'm going to do that's going to involve other people. Okay, because then I have enough energy to do it and enjoy it. But if you throw it at me after I've already done something and I wasn't expecting it, it's not enjoyable. But there are other things I like to do. Like, if my friends call me randomly and like, want to go on a drive or go do something, I can do that. But I think it's because I'm so close to them. So it's like,

Scott Benner 36:52
you know how mom can be a one event, one day person, yeah, like, we went through the movies now today is over. Like that, yeah, do you feel that way about stuff,

Arden Benner 37:04
about certain things, but not about that? Okay, but I am the type of person to be like, okay, like, if I have something big to do at like 5pm and I woke up at like nine, I'd be like, Oh, I can't do anything today. Like, I have something at 5pm

Scott Benner 37:21
I like to get up and, like, keep moving once I'm awake, which I think is to my detriment sometimes, because then I don't, like, relax. You know what I mean? Like, like, really, how many times in your life have you seen me take an entire day and sit on a sofa? Like, three times? Yeah, that doesn't like, I don't even

Arden Benner 37:39
when, even when you're sick, you're like, you're like, trying to get up and we're like, stay in here. Like, what are you doing? Yeah,

Scott Benner 37:45
it feels like there's so much to do. Or, actually, I take that back, it doesn't feel like there's so much to do. Like, I feel compelled to do things. There's so many things I'd like to do. I really I enjoy, like, being active. Like, when people say, like, when you gonna stop making the podcast? I'm like, that sounds ridiculous. Like, what the then? What would

Arden Benner 38:03
I do? I find it crazy that you say that. Because when you only really like to do the things that you enjoy, though, like, you don't like to do, like, different random things. Because, like, if me and mom were like, Oh, we want to go here and do this, you'd be like, oh, yeah, that doesn't sound fun. Like, Have you considered

Scott Benner 38:19
that maybe some of the things you want to do are just things that don't interest me? That don't interest me, yeah? But

Arden Benner 38:23
what I'm saying is that, like, they're things that my friends want to do that don't interest me, but because they want to do them, I'll get up and I'll be like, Okay, I guess I'll try something new. You

Scott Benner 38:31
don't think I go and do things with mom that I don't want to do? No,

Arden Benner 38:35
I'm sure you do, but you're not like, you, you don't express. You're not positive about it positive?

Scott Benner 38:42
Yeah, look who's talking.

Speaker 1 38:45
I never said I was positive person, but I try new things and I don't complain. You think I can? I just love the you like to complain. No, you like to complain. You don't think you enjoy complaining.

Unknown Speaker 38:58
No, oh

Scott Benner 39:00
well, there's a blind spot for you.

Arden Benner 39:03
I don't enjoy drama, I don't enjoy complaining. I don't enjoy more words than are necessary.

Scott Benner 39:10
What about when you have, like, lived through a thing, and you'll come to us and be like, let me break down for you what's happening, and then you talk for passionately, for many minutes or hours about what has happened and explain everything that went wrong and everybody that did everything wrong. And

Arden Benner 39:27
I'm not complaining. I just like to break things down and see why things happened like I'm interested in why people would do certain things.

Scott Benner 39:34
Okay, well, then I'm not complaining either.

Arden Benner 39:36
Oh, no, you just admitted you were and you completely are. Oh, I

Scott Benner 39:40
think my definition, I just realized my definition of complaining. If

Arden Benner 39:43
someone does something stupid, I don't come home and just complain about them. I come home and I question it. I'm like, why would they do that? I

Scott Benner 39:51
feel like that's what I'm doing too. But I also recognize at all what you're doing. I also recognize that is complaining, but maybe I'm. Um, ambiverted when it comes to complaining.

Arden Benner 40:02
That makes no sense. That sentence makes no sense. I think the editor should just take that out, because you look stupid. I was trying

Scott Benner 40:08
to say that like you, apparently can be ambiverts enjoy socializing, connecting with people, but don't feel the need to be around others all the time. They're equally comfortable spending time alone. And may switch between these modes based on their mood, energy levels or situations. I don't know that. That needs a name. Doesn't that just sound like reasonably normal

Arden Benner 40:25
me? No, because you're not like that. You're extroverted, not all the time, most of the time, you're extroverted. I'm ambiverted, like all the time, and like mom is introverted.

Scott Benner 40:38
That's true. What do you think Cole is

Arden Benner 40:41
a robot? I don't really know. He's introverted, right? Cole's introverted, but he like wishes that he could be like extroverted,

Scott Benner 40:49
because once he's around people he feels comfortable with, he is very open,

Arden Benner 40:53
but he's still introverted in that setting.

Scott Benner 40:55
He's still quieter, right? All right. So what did we figure out about this mind tie thing? And people that can't see pictures, do you think? Like, so, if I'm in like, a small percentage of people, like, so most people listening are like, Dude, I closed my eyes. I think Apple. There's an apple there. That's 96% of people.

Unknown Speaker 41:15
Why? I don't know.

Scott Benner 41:16
I mean, I don't know either. Like, it's seems weird. Did mom say she could see the apple.

Arden Benner 41:20
I don't think, I think we start talking, and mom just doesn't respond. I don't know, interesting. What about like, this kind of goes into like personality types. Like, do you know what your personality type is? Have you taken the Myers Briggs test? The Myers Briggs test? No, yeah. You should take it, and we should talk about that next time, because I know my personality type. Okay. I took it when I was like 12, and then I took it again, like at like 18, and my personality type changed completely. Okay,

Scott Benner 41:48
so you could be

Unknown Speaker 41:52
there's a lot of them, extroversion

Scott Benner 41:53
versus introversion, sensing versus intuition, thinking versus feeling,

Arden Benner 42:00
and then judging, judging versus perceiving. Yeah,

Scott Benner 42:04
there are 16 personality types. 16. Yep, hold on, I'm looking

Arden Benner 42:10
for the list. Really interesting too. Oh, do you, can you guess what I was when I was younger, and what I am now? All right,

Scott Benner 42:15
hold on, there's inspector, protector, counselor, architect, virtuoso, Adventurer, mediator, thinker, entrepreneur, entertainer, campaigner, debater, executive, Council, protagonist and the commander. I'm a lot of these things. You can only be one.

Arden Benner 42:35
Where's the egotistical asshole at?

Scott Benner 42:38
I was gonna say, actually, it's so funny. You said that because I was gonna say this says there's 16 personality types here, but I don't see asshole anywhere this list. Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 3 42:52
See, we were both like, you're like, I'm the king the queen. No,

Scott Benner 42:56
no, I don't think that at all. Like, but, I mean, I could see fitting into a couple of these

Unknown Speaker 43:01
things. Wait. Let me look at them real quick. Can

Scott Benner 43:04
you guess what mine is, is now, or was when you were younger? Either or All right, I'll entertain this. The inspector is a practical, responsible, detail oriented and organized. This feels like, you know when people, and for everybody listening, who believes in this? I'm sorry already, but you know when people when people tell you about their like, birth sign, their like, what is that? Their zodiac signs, and then you read, you know,

Arden Benner 43:29
I think you would be an E, F, S, J, extroverted feeling,

Scott Benner 43:37
sensing, judging, wait, you can make your own up. Oh, that makes me mix of the four I'm looking now. That makes me the council warm, caring, social and detail oriented. Oh, you're not detail oriented. Yeah, that's why this feels

Arden Benner 43:54
but but basically you just have to put the two against each other. So are you extroverted or introverted? So I would say extroverted because it says could be described as talkative, not going like to be in a fast paced environment. And so worked out ideas with others, thinks out loud, enjoys being the center of attention. Okay, obviously. And then thinking or feeling, I would say, feeling for you, base your decisions on personal values and how your actions affect others. Value harmony, forgiveness. Like to be like to please others and point out the best in people. Could be described as warm and empathetic. I think that's more you, because thinking says level headed sensing and intuition. I said sensing focus on the reality of how things are, pay attention to concrete facts and details. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna, I'm changing my answer to E, F n j,

Scott Benner 44:49
e, f n, j, the protagonist, charismatic, empathetic, inspiring and leadership oriented. That. Makes more sense to me. Okay?

Arden Benner 45:03
I think if you take the quiz and you get that, then I can graduate from this school already.

Scott Benner 45:07
They should just let you out. I don't really need to. I don't really need to go to this whole psychology degree. I think I got it figured out. My dad's an ENFJ.

Arden Benner 45:20
I don't actually think that you would guess what I got and what I have now.

Scott Benner 45:24
All right, so hold on. So inspector is practical, responsible detail, or

Arden Benner 45:30
do you see inspector you mean ISTJ do me to send you the list that I'm looking at. Oh, no, I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Okay, and

Scott Benner 45:40
then the protector, caring, loyal, meticulous, dependable. Okay, so that's not you practical, responsible, detail oriented. I don't think that's you insightful, creative, compassionate, idealistic, I don't think you're idealistic, strategic, independent, analytical and driven. That could be you. Which one's that i n t j the architect, the virtuoso, action oriented, adaptable, observant and practical. That's not you. The adventurer, gentle, artistic. I don't think you're gentle. You're not super spontaneous or flexible. The mediator, empathetic, I'll skip you there. The Thinker, intellectual, curious, logical and independent. No, maybe energetic, perceptive, risk taking and spot no sociable, playful, adaptable and practical. Social, no enthusiastic, creative, open minded and inspirational. Innovative, clever, argumentative and quick, winded, innovative, clever the debater, organized, efficient, outgoing, no, warm, caring, surgeon, charismatic, empathetic. You could be the debater. You could be. I give you the commander, but I don't think you're actually as confident as you appear. So, no, okay,

Arden Benner 47:17
I was taking this quiz like when I was 18, and then I took it again this

Scott Benner 47:21
year, charismatic, empathetic, inspiring and least leadership oriented. Uh, that could be you. Which one's that protagonist, the one you gave me, but I don't know if empathetic fits you completely. All right, so I've got debater. I've got counselor. Those are my two that I have for you. Wait which one's counselor?

Arden Benner 47:49
Letters,

Scott Benner 47:51
I n, f, j, okay,

Arden Benner 47:53
that's what I got when I was younger. Okay, was the counselor which is, I'll read about it a little bit.

Scott Benner 48:01
But can I tell you something crazy, like, what? The way you figured this out is you looked at the like the I and the F and the J and all that stuff. Like, I don't know what any of that means, because I scrolled past where it lists it.

Arden Benner 48:15
Yeah, so you're not detail oriented.

Scott Benner 48:22
I wish I would decide that all up. I just,

Unknown Speaker 48:28
I just read the words, yeah, you did what you wanted to do.

Arden Benner 48:31
I got it, yeah, go ahead. Okay, so INFJ is what I got when I was younger, like in the middle school, and then when I took it again in high school, and now I got E N T J, which is the commander, which you said, I don't think you're as a I

Scott Benner 48:45
don't think you're as confident as you, as you portray. You're confident, don't get me wrong, but I think that sometimes you are like, I'm confident in this, and I'm not going to think too much about it, because I hope I'm right, but I'm not sure, and I don't want to start doubting myself. But that might just be your

Arden Benner 49:02
age, but I got e n t, J, dash a, so sometimes they add something at the end as you match it. So it says I'm 54% extroverted,

Scott Benner 49:10
76%

Arden Benner 49:13
intuitive, 61% thinking, 61% judging, and 56% assertive, by

Scott Benner 49:21
the way. Here's the other problem. May I say that every time I take one of these quizzes, you and what's your name, look over my shoulder and tell me that I'm not I'm lying about myself when

Unknown Speaker 49:31
I'm like, well, sometimes you're just like, putting things down that like,

Scott Benner 49:36
like, just aren't sure how I see myself.

Arden Benner 49:39
Like, you'd be like, you have blonde hair, and you'd be like, Yes, I do No, that's ridiculous.

Scott Benner 49:43
Also, there's criticisms of this MBTI. It's popular, but it's also faced criticism, particularly from psychologists and researchers. Common criticisms include that it lacks scientific validity, that it's got a binary nature places people in. To one of two categories for each dimension, which may oversimplify the complexities of personality. Yeah,

Arden Benner 50:05
that I didn't say, you know, it was going to solve world peace. I'm just, I'm just telling you, okay, but here, but here are the people that I'm most like, the famous people. Ready? Steve Jobs,

Scott Benner 50:16
okay, I don't think his children liked him a lot. But go ahead. Gordon Ramsay, that crazy man who yells at people on the television. Yes, okay. Margaret Thatcher, Franklin D Roosevelt,

Arden Benner 50:32
Jim Carrey, Whoopi Goldberg, Harrison Ford Malcolm X, doctor, strange. Tony Soprano. Wait,

Scott Benner 50:41
did these people take Tony Soprano is not a real person, so they

Arden Benner 50:45
I'm not done. David Palmer from 24 Malcolm Merlin from the arrow. Mary Talbot from Downtown Abbey. Francis J Underwood, House of Cards. Jacqueline, a sharp House of Cards. River tan Firefly, my Lady Day winter, the three musketeers, Miranda, priestly, The Devil Wears Prada and Raymond Reddington, the blacklist.

Scott Benner 51:11
Okay, wait, no, we're Where did you get that? That's that web you've showed me this before that website, haven't you? Yeah, like,

Arden Benner 51:18
I like, have an account,

Scott Benner 51:19
and I have an account. They'll tell people that. Why didn't you just hold up your phone and say, I'm a douchebag?

Arden Benner 51:28
It tells you, like, career paths that are good for your personality. Oh, like I'm a born leader. Look at that here. Here

Scott Benner 51:34
are my weaknesses. I'm emotionally unaware, I'm impatient, a perfectionist that's

Arden Benner 51:42
true and domineering. What does that mean? Now, somebody may imitate colleagues.

Scott Benner 51:50
I've been told that before. You've you imitate your colleagues. What does that mean? I mean like

Arden Benner 51:55
people, people around, like you're just intimidating. Oh,

Scott Benner 51:58
wait you. Oh, I'm sorry, I misheard you. You're you intimidate people around you. Yeah, that does happen.

Arden Benner 52:05
It says My strengths are born. Leader, strategic mastermind, efficiency expert and ambitious.

Scott Benner 52:13
I have a list of famous people that may be associated with my ENFJ personality, which I'm accepting from you that I am okay, Obama, Oprah, Maya Angelou. I feel weird saying this. Martin Luther King, Jr, when I

Arden Benner 52:31
said Malcolm X, uh,

Scott Benner 52:34
Jennifer Lawrence, this one, I feel very strange saying Nelson Mandela, Mikhail, Gorbachev, Ben Affleck, like the drunk part of him, or the Emma Stone, Jennifer Garner

Arden Benner 52:49
stone, Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence and Obama, you win.

Scott Benner 52:53
Oh, those are your big, beautiful you love those people. Oh,

Arden Benner 52:56
I just threw Obama in there. But yeah, and John Kuzak, for some reason, see, like they're all like, they're all, like, pretty strong people, independent people, people like them, but they have, like, a silly side to them.

Scott Benner 53:06
Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love, known for her insightful writing, motivational speaking and fostering of personal growth.

Unknown Speaker 53:13
Yeah, look at this. I'm

Scott Benner 53:14
a genius. That is kind of what I do for a living. Sort of about that. Yeah, you're welcome. Jennifer Garner's kind. How do we know she's kind? She seems kind. I mean, from what I do, that from like the Capital One commercial, that's how I know where she's hocking

Arden Benner 53:30
that credit card still talks to Ben Affleck, after all

Scott Benner 53:32
he did. How do you know what he did? Well,

Arden Benner 53:38
oh my God, today we watched a video in Psych, and it was like we were talking about, but it's like this guy who, like, misspoke or whatever. Oh, we were talking about, what is his name? What is that psychology? Oh, fraud. Freud, worried. Yeah,

Scott Benner 53:57
him. This conversation is a fraud. You're thinking of Ziggy Freud, go ahead,

Arden Benner 54:01
all right, yeah, him. And we're talking about his theory that, like, basically no one ever makes a mistake, like everything that people do is on purpose. So, like, he would believe that, like, if you got in a car accident, that, like, your subconscious wanted you to get into that car accident, which is, like, a crazy thing, whatever. But our teacher showed us a video, and she was like, Okay, here's an example. Like worried would say that this man did this on purpose, and it's from like, years ago when, like, Jenny on the block, like that her album, or whatever, like, that thing came out. He's like, something about, like, oh, well, like something about curbs, curb a curb job, but now she's going to be giving blow jobs. And he goes, That's not what I meant to say. That's not what and he's like, on air, and he's like, I'm sorry i I won't make that mistake again or whatever. And we're all, like, cracking up in class. But, like, basically what Freud would say is that, like, That man meant to say that on purpose. Yes, which is like crazy.

Scott Benner 55:01
It's what he thought. And it came out even though he didn't want it to Yeah, right,

Arden Benner 55:06
which I guess isn't insane, but it's like, so like, if I lost my key, like, basically, like, he would say, like, Oh, if I lost my keys, and I can't go to class without my ID or something like that. But that was like, my subconscious, because I didn't actually want

Scott Benner 55:21
to go to class. Well, that's happened to you a number of times. Do you think that's

Unknown Speaker 55:25
true? No, I

Unknown Speaker 55:26
just think I lost my ID.

Scott Benner 55:29
So you think Sigmund fraud was a fraud? Yeah. Oh, bold stance. We don't believe I think we don't believe in Freudian thinking

Arden Benner 55:40
some of what he says is true, but, like, not everything you do is on purpose. I don't think that okay if I'm looking at my phone and I trip over something on the ground and fall on my face, like, did I do that on purpose? Now? But he believes that subconsciously,

Scott Benner 56:01
are you sure it's not possible that maybe he was, hold on? Oh, also, he

Arden Benner 56:05
was a big drinker, I heard. So there's

Scott Benner 56:08
the unconscious. All right. Do you want to put Freudian thinking on our list of things we don't understand? Nah,

Arden Benner 56:14
because I'm gonna have to learn about it so it's like I will understand it soon,

Scott Benner 56:17
maybe, oh yeah, that's true. I'm gonna write it here, because maybe you'll have something to say about it, but I'll put a question

Arden Benner 56:23
mark to my eyes. Look really tired,

Scott Benner 56:27
a little bit why?

Arden Benner 56:28
I'm just looking and I feel like you look tired. I kind of look like I have an allergic reaction.

Scott Benner 56:35
All right. Well, we're gonna go now, but I'm looking forward very much to talking about why Bridget Mendler has so much folklore around her where fat goes when you lose weight, and is Taylor Swift evil. Think she is. Did

Arden Benner 56:50
you see that video of her dancing with Travis Kelsey? And everyone's like, Oh my god, oh my God. Everyone dances. What are we talking about?

Scott Benner 56:56
I haven't seen that. I did see a picture of him dressed to watch tennis, and I thought maybe she's screwing with him, making him wear that. But

Arden Benner 57:05
we're like, right after she endorsed Kamala Harris, and he comes out, he's like, I support all that Taylor does. And I'm like, Damn man, you could just say like, yeah, I also support Kamala Harris. It

Scott Benner 57:17
gets what he meant, but he supports Taylor. Oh, well, we

Arden Benner 57:21
all soon enough, Taylor's gonna be the president.

Scott Benner 57:25
God, that would be horrifying, wouldn't it. Can

Arden Benner 57:27
you imagine Taylor Swift versus Donald Trump?

Scott Benner 57:32
What's her most favorite song from her me, yeah, what do you think her most favorite song or famous song, is? Oh, shake it off. I don't know. Shake it off versus the guy from the apprentice, who would win interesting? I don't know who would win that interesting. I'm

Arden Benner 57:52
not sure. I thought you asked me my favorite song, and I was like,

Scott Benner 57:55
What's your favorite? Taylor Swift? Do you have a favorite Taylor Swift

Arden Benner 57:57
song? Yeah, I think it might be invisible string, okay? Or I like mirror ball, or, um, you know, all those Taylor Swift songs, Dorothea, I like that.

Scott Benner 58:10
One is, is I stay out too late. That's the shake it off one, right? I think so that's all I know. There's

Arden Benner 58:18
nothing you know the part? Do you know the part where she says, shake it off.

Scott Benner 58:22
That's what people say. I don't know the whole thing. I

Speaker 3 58:26
don't like Taylor Swift, you have the worst voice in the world.

Scott Benner 58:29
Thank you. Yeah, I can't for a person with a pleasant speaking voice, I cannot sing at all. Who told you

Arden Benner 58:33
it was pleasant? A lot of people. Oh, all right, I don't have a good speaking voice. Oh, I

Scott Benner 58:38
disagree. You just think your voice is deep, and you think that's not good, right?

Arden Benner 58:43
Yeah, I have a deep voice, and I like,

Scott Benner 58:45
I mumble. You mumble? You do mumble. Mom talks under her breath a lot, too, but I think that's different.

Arden Benner 58:53
I think mom's just having a stroke. Half the time she's talking. Sometimes she talks on the phone with me, and I go, I don't know what you just said.

Scott Benner 59:02
You know she, she'll listen to this, right? Yeah, I know. And I tell her that, okay, all right, well,

Unknown Speaker 59:10
I think she, I'll call her right now and tell her that she's

Scott Benner 59:13
starting to do that thing that people do when they get like, I'm not saying She's old, but when people get older, they seem to do that thing where they start their sentence in their head, like, yeah, and then, you know, start it out loud about four words later, yeah, yeah. That's been happening a little bit anyway. Kelly, if you're listening, we love you, but you've been starting your sentences on, like, word five. I

Unknown Speaker 59:37
wonder why the ice maker, Mom, can

Arden Benner 59:38
I have an ice maker, please? Thank you. Can

Scott Benner 59:40
we already say yes to that, yeah, but I don't see it anywhere. Oh, you thought it was just gonna show up. I thought it was gonna appear in a thin air.

Arden Benner 59:50
I thought I actually cannot believe it's only Tuesday. Let me say that right now. Oh, I'm gonna

Scott Benner 59:56
put this on my list. I'm. While, why do people start speaking five words into their sentence? See if we can figure that out. I think that's a really good one, honestly, because I don't want to say that my mom used to do that, because I think mom will get upset if I say that. But I realized my mom used to do that sometimes, and I was like, What are you talking about? Then, then they say it again. And I'm like, Yeah, you didn't say most of that out loud. You know, what else I find really fascinating? Uh, let me guess. Go ahead.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:28
Oh, God, this is hard.

Scott Benner 1:00:30
Your eyes closed. What were you visualizing?

Arden Benner 1:00:32
There's so many. I was thinking about jelly, actually, peanut butter and jelly. But I was thinking about like, how they make jelly, like grape jelly, blueberry jelly.

Scott Benner 1:00:43
That's what I was wondering about today

Arden Benner 1:00:46
in class, she told she showed us a picture of a white elephant, and she said, Don't think of a white elephant. And the first thing I thought of was jelly the beans. Jelly. About jelly? A lot today.

Scott Benner 1:00:56
Did you say jelly the beans? Not

Unknown Speaker 1:00:59
just Jelly Bean.

Scott Benner 1:01:00
You said jelly the beans. No,

Unknown Speaker 1:01:02
I said jelly beans.

Scott Benner 1:01:03
Everyone rewind and listen. She said, Jelly the beans. No,

Unknown Speaker 1:01:07
I didn't. I said, jelly beans.

Scott Benner 1:01:09
Okay, we'll find out what I was gonna say and I'll let you go. Is, I think it's interesting when two people in a room together and one person thinks they said something and they didn't and then swears they did. I find that fascinating,

Arden Benner 1:01:21
or when someone swears they didn't say something and they did say it. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:01:24
I also think it's interesting when you hear something earlier in the day and then you talk about it as if it was a new thought that you had.

Arden Benner 1:01:30
You kind of look like you're, like, 45 years old and in a band, like, I feel like you're supposed to have like, eyeliner on right now. I

Scott Benner 1:01:38
don't know what you mean by that, so let's just go. All right, thank you for doing this with me. I appreciate it. Okay, yeah, bye. Bye.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gvoke glucagon. Find out more about G vo kypo pen at gvoke, glucagon.com. Forward slash juice box. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com. Forward slash juice box. If you'd like to wear the same insulin pump that Arden does. All you have to do is go to omnipod.com/juice box. That's it. Head over now and get started today, and you'll be wearing the same tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been wearing since she was four years old. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors. AG, one drink. AG, one.com/juice box. You You can start your day the same way I do with a delicious drink of a g1 if you have type two or pre diabetes, the type two diabetes Pro Tip series from the juicebox podcast is exactly what you're looking for. Do you have a friend or a family member who is struggling to understand their type two and how to manage it. This series is for them seven episodes to get you on track and up to speed. Episode 860, series intro. 864, guilt and shame. Episode 869, medical team. 874, fueling plan. Episode 880, diabetes technology. Episode 885, GLP ones, metformin and insulin. And in episode 889, we talk about movement. This episode is with me and Jenny Smith, of course, you know, Jenny is a Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist. She's a registered and licensed dietitian, and Jenny has had type one diabetes for over 30 years. Too many people don't understand their type two diabetes, and this series aims to fix that. Share it with a friend or get started today. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The juicebox podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwayrecording.com, you.


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