#1284 After Dark: Year From Hell

August 20, 2024Scott Benner

Eliza is the mom of a type 1 son. Warning: Sexual Assault discussed.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to another episode of The juicebox podcast.

Well, today's episode is something else. This is Eliza. She's Australian and the mother of a child with type one diabetes. I'm gonna just tell you now about 19 minutes into this episode, it takes a really strange turn. So right around the 19 minute mark, maybe a little later, actually, maybe a few minutes later, there's gonna be talk of sexual assault, and I wanted to make you ready for that. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan if you're living with type one diabetes, the after dark collection from the juicebox podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more. Go to juicebox podcast.com, up in the menu and click on after dark there, you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. If you or somebody in your care has type one diabetes and you're a US resident, please go to T 1d exchange org slash juice box and complete the survey. When you do that, you're going to be supporting type one diabetes research and supporting the podcast. I think you're going to be helping yourself as well. You'll see when you get there. This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Eversense CGM, an implantable six month sensor. Is what you get with Eversense, but you get so much more exceptional and consistent accuracy over six months and distinct on body vibe alerts when you're high or low on body vibe alerts. You don't even know what that means. Do you ever sense cgm.com/juicebox, go find out. This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by us. Med, us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get your supplies the same way we do from us. Med, this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, gvoke hypo pen. Find out more at gvoke glucagon. Com forward slash juicebox.

Eliza 2:25
Hi, I'm Eliza. I'm a mother of a type one who's seven, and I'm a musician and arty person. Generally,

Scott Benner 2:35
yeah, you're an arty person. Generally,

Eliza 2:39
yeah, I'm not gonna say that I'm an artist, because although I've been trained, I don't practice. So I'm not a working artist, but I work in the gallery. So nice.

Scott Benner 2:50
Where was your training?

Speaker 1 2:53
I went to university, which here is, you know, the highest form of education in Australia, which is where I'm based, in South Australia. And yeah, I I sort of started here and finished in Sydney. I lived there for a bit. And yeah, it's called a bachelor of visual arts, or fine art and design, or something can't remember, in you

Scott Benner 3:18
can't remember, that's beautiful. That's uplifting all the parents who are paying for college right now. How old are you, Eliza, that you don't remember exactly what your your degree is in 3939 There you go, kids. Takes 20 years to forget what it is you paid for.

Eliza 3:33
Gonna say, I forgot a lot more than just that. Yeah, my gosh, I baby. Brain, diabetes, brain, something. I'm going to blame those things, you know what? I mean, yeah, did

Scott Benner 3:45
you say I'm sorry your son daughter? Yeah,

Eliza 3:49
so Arthur is seven and a half, and he was diagnosed at five and a half. So two

Scott Benner 3:55
years for

Eliza 3:56
Arthur? Yeah, okay, two years in three days, exactly. So, yeah, two years.

Scott Benner 4:02
Was there any indication that this could happen, or did it come out of nowhere?

Eliza 4:08
Well, it wasn't Asian. It was shock to the whole family, but it presented pretty typically, and I suppose just enough for it to be weird, you know, like he'd never wet the bed, and was drinking, like a ton of water, and pretty much panic if I took his bottle away, like a water bottle, yeah, away from him. Like it was constant, constant, constant drinking. And then a couple of nights of wedding the bed, and we were like, straight to the local just the, you know, like the family doctor, and I just there for another reason, with him getting an asthma action plan, because he was just starting his first year of school. Said, look, there's this other thing. He's also like wetting the bed, and is just, I just want to rule out diabetes. I just need to make sure he doesn't have that. Oh,

Scott Benner 5:00
Eliza, why did you so first of all, I want to say this, good job. How do I mean this? I don't. I don't. This is not me coming down on other people, but I am shocked when people tell me that they're kids, like older children randomly started wetting the bed, and they didn't see that as a like, a crazy sign of something like, You know what I mean. But you did couple nights, wedding, the bed, right to the doctor. What made you, like, what do you know about diabetes that made you ask the question? Yeah,

Eliza 5:28
well, it wasn't on our radar. And I can't say that I knew much, but, like, I knew that. But also my husband, sorry, partner, fiance, whatever you want. I'll call him husband, because that's the easiest, not by any kind of religious or legal way. But in this country, a de facto husband is the same anyway. So whatever husband, his auntie actually has been diagnosed as a grown up at age about 50, okay, type one, um, but you know, we knew nothing about it like at the same time, because she was living in England, and we just heard about it and and then I think I was chatting to the school mums, you know, we were doing school pickup. I was literally one weekend we had our, you know, I had a few friends, and we were chatting with our little kids going into first week of school. How's everyone going? I'm like, Arthur is so tired and, like, so weird. He's just started wearing the bed and, like, one of them just looked at me and goes, and I'm like, and he's so thirsty, but it's so hot. It's summer, you know, that's what I was saying. But, you know, it's a bit of a worry. I was looking up the symptoms on Google. You know, as you do, diabetes is there, of course, but, you know, it's probably just anemia or, like, that was just, like, anything, but diabetes complete denial. But, oh, we're definitely going to get him chucked out. And, yeah, I'd booked an appointment for the following week.

Scott Benner 6:55
So my, my five year old, Bobby, is anemic. You know, I

Eliza 6:59
was just hoping for anything. Basically, I knew diabetes was the worst. And

Scott Benner 7:03
I was just like, I gotta tell you, if your five year old is anemic, they might have cancer. I think you should have been wishing for the diabetes.

Eliza 7:10
We know what that meant. Oh, senior and a child. You know what I mean. I just like, read, be just an iron deficiency or, you know?

Scott Benner 7:21
So what? That's fantastic. How quickly you got to the physician, and they diagnosed him right then and there, pretty

Eliza 7:26
much he was the the meter just read high, so they did a finger prick. And I said, Well, what does that mean? And she just looks at me and I'm like, should I call

Scott Benner 7:40
someone? Am I gonna start crying? What's happening? Yeah,

Eliza 7:43
yeah, yeah, it's diabetes. And I did start crying right then in the office and but, you know, probably silent is so that my kid wasn't freaking out. But then she goes just, you know, I'm, I'll forward this to the Children's Hospital, which is only a half hour drive or 40 minutes, and you're going to go there today. And I said, Well, we live five minutes from you can I pack a bag? And she said, Yes, that's okay. Since he's he's upright, he's talking, he's, you know, he's on his way, but he's not, aka, kind of thing. So they said it would be fine, but when he got there, he was definitely not great. He fell asleep sitting up. Was he in DKA? They never used the word. I only learned the word from your podcast, actually. Oh, isn't

Scott Benner 8:32
that interesting? Well, I

Eliza 8:34
learned more about it on the podcast. I suppose they may have mentioned it, but it flew over my head because it wasn't something I knew to ask like, was he in DKA? I never said he was. Remember the the first nurses who were doing the tests and putting a drip in him, or whatever they were doing, because don't ask me, it's all a blur. She said, Oh, wow, if ketones are 6.1 I usually can smell them when they're that high, so smell them. They said, Oh, that the kids like, oh, the breath smells sweet, or, I don't know, yeah, I just thought that was an interesting thing that always stuck in my brain. But then they were all just sort of praising us for catching it before it got bad. And they hinted that it would have gotten bad within hours or days. Really bad, good for you. So they were just really pleased, yeah, so it was, yeah.

Scott Benner 9:23
Did that make you feel good by any chance? I mean, not good, like a party, but like, was there, you know? Yeah,

Eliza 9:29
somewhat, Somewhat, yeah, for sure, it was like we felt like we'd at least done what we could, even though, of course, I could have caught it earlier. My God, I look back and he was lethargic and tired, but I felt like two months, maybe Okay, three months even. So I can look back at photos and remember a day that he fell asleep weirdly on the beach, you know, before Christmas, weird, some of those sort of things, and then just thinking, I should have picked up early in the La, la, la,

Scott Benner 9:58
I'm sure you did a good. Job. It's hard we figured it out, but Arden was just about dead when we figured it out. So if you take insulin or so Fauci, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G, VO hypo pen. My daughter carries GE, voc, hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store GEVO kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in ardent diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke, glucagon.com/risk, for safety information. This episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox, the Eversense CGM is the only long term CGM with six months of real time glucose readings giving you more convenience, confidence and flexibility. And you didn't hear me wrong. I didn't say 14 days. I said six months. So if you're tired of changing your CGM sensor every week, you're tired of it falling off, or the adhesive not lasting as long as it should, or the sensor failing before the time is up. If you're tired of all that, you really owe it to yourself to try the Eversense CGM. Eversense cgm.com. Dot com, slash juicebox. I'm here to tell you that if the hassle of changing your sensors multiple times a month is just more than you want to deal with, if you're tired of things falling off and not sticking, or sticking too much, or having to carry around a whole bunch of extra supplies in case something does fall off, then taking a few minutes to check out. Ever since cgm.com/juice box might be the right thing for you. When you use my link, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful. Ever since cgm.com/juice box, I don't know how you guys order your diabetes supplies, like CGM pumps and testing equipment, but at our house, we use us Med, and I'm gonna walk you through the entire process right now. I'm looking at the email from us med. It says it's time to refill your prescription, dear Arden, please click the button below to place your next order, then you click the button that was it. Two days later, I got this email, thank you for your order from us. Med. We wanted to let you know that your order, and it gives you an order number was shipped via UPS ground. You can track your package at any time using the link below. And then there was a link, and then it showed up at our house. Now I'm going to walk you through the entire chain of events. On the 29th which was the Saturday I clicked on the email. On that Monday, the first, I got an email that said the order had been sent four days later. On the fifth, the package arrived. If you can do it easier than that, you go get it. But if you can't, us, med.com/juice, box or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us. Med, get your diabetes supplies the same way we do. It's difficult. You know, I think you did a great job. So, you know, that's okay. How long did they keep them in the hospital? They call it. Is it in hospital in Australia, or is that a British thing? We

Unknown Speaker 14:07
use of the hospital,

Scott Benner 14:11
good for you, way to come around to this time. So how long did they keep you there? Yeah,

Eliza 14:16
we're still covid. So we were sorry, that's not a real

Scott Benner 14:20
No, I don't know. I just wrote it down. I was like, covid. How come no one's ever said that before. Fantastic.

Eliza 14:26
I use a lot of made up covid. That's definitely a thing that was happening in the hospital, still not as strict as when I'd had my daughter, which was the year that covid like 2020, as well. So I've got a three year old girl as well, but so

Scott Benner 14:44
I'm sorry, Arthur was five and a half and you had a younger child as well.

Eliza 14:47
Yeah, I was breastfeeding a toddler at the time, one year old. That sounds fun. Two year old. Oh, that was so much fun. Sleep was yeah, let's not go there and

Scott Benner 14:58
teach the kid to do something you gotta be like. Look, latch on and then hold this meter. Okay, when I bring the finger towards it, you touch this. This kid's not helping at all. Come on, just hold the meter. Gonna do something?

Eliza 15:11
She like to grab it. You know,

Unknown Speaker 15:15
it's amazing.

Eliza 15:18
What's this cricket? No,

Scott Benner 15:19
I saw a photo the other day of it was like, a meme, or some it was a breastfeeding meme. God knows why I saw it, but the lady's, like, trying to breastfeed the kid. The kids, like, half upside down and got her heel, like, in the lady's eye socket, you know? And I'm like, oh, there's a lot going on here, yeah?

Eliza 15:35
Co sleeping as well. So at least they were all in the same kind of room vicinity, you don't have to walk too far. Yeah, yeah. I kept it simple. I might, you know what? I'm just gonna stay in there until I'm comfortable leaving the diabetes child alone. Now, like that's gonna stay

Scott Benner 15:53
Jesus. So, I mean, there's a boy somewhere. So do you guys learn together, or do you take the reins? How does it go? Well,

Eliza 15:59
Ben and he was allowed in for the education sessions. We were only allowed one at a time for the bedside care. It was three days. I think we were in. You asked before, but the education sessions were meant to be three business days long. I think she smashed it out in one day, because we're educated. Is that bad, that naughty? She's like, Oh, good. You know what a car is? Well, that is going to make this for you boy.

Scott Benner 16:29
That's got to be disheartening, doesn't it? Wait, you've heard of fractions.

Eliza 16:37
No, she was sweet and and we understood. Because, I mean, she's gotta deal with people whose language is other than English as the first language, and then there's just all kinds of levels of education and knowledge of food. And so yeah, she found us very easy. My partner's like a cook, a chef, so food wasn't something we were scared of learning about we didn't have to change his diet. We just learned to count the carbs and move on.

Scott Benner 17:08
Yeah. Well, good for you. So you leave with what kind of technology in Australia?

Eliza 17:14
Oh, yeah, I knew that impression was coming, and we left with unit click pens. So yeah, pens, a couple of meters. Had Novo rapid was the short acting insulin, and I had Levi Mia was the long acting split over two doses, like morning and evening, and we had some like, what are they called, ratio cards, or like a thing, whatever they're called. And we were bravely and, of course, I regret this. We were offered the Dexcom on day two, like in the Education meeting, she would have put it on him,

Scott Benner 18:01
you said, No, thank you. I don't need that. You won't be sticking that to my child. He's not a robot. Was any of that going through your head?

Eliza 18:09
Not quite a little bit of fear. We let her put the Libra two on so we had a couple of options, and we thought it was less intrusive, Flash stressful to not to not, kind of have it just like, literally every five minutes giving us a reading. And for some reason, we thought that that was going to be a bad thing. Two weeks later, we we got the Dexcom. Hi,

Scott Benner 18:31
hi, we made a mistake. We're calling back.

Eliza 18:37
We had a two week appointment, checkup, follow up anyway, in the hospital, and, yeah, they were great. I mean, I think it was a very like, I was very happy with the care and the experience. But since learning more, thanks to you, I've like, see a lot of flaws, even though I know it's better than a lot of people in other parts of the

Scott Benner 18:57
world, if you know what I mean. So I wake up every morning to I actually it's right in front of me. Now I haven't done it yet, because this is earlier than by the way, it's late at night for you, and I'm like, why are we doing this so early?

Eliza 19:10
What time is it for you? It's 8am

Scott Benner 19:14
poor thing. I just don't usually record at eight. I like to, I like to be awake before I do it. I'm sorry. I'm being mean. No, no, it's okay. I don't feel attacked. But usually I wake up in the morning and there's, like, this morning, there 17 new people since, like, I went I hate to tell you my I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so I went to sleep at like, three o'clock. I don't know why. Actually, I do know why I was up late working, but I don't like people feeling bad for me, because then I get notes. You're like, Scott, take care of yourself. You're going to burn out. That's very sweet, but I'm okay. So I went to bed at three because I was working late. I knew I had to get up early for you. So my alarm went off at like, 745 I have to admit, when it went off, or, uh, 645 I was like, Oh, what am I doing? But then I open up like, you know, it gets. Work done. And for me, you know, part of my work is checking new people wanting to come into the Facebook group and approving their entries if they got stuck somehow and the automation didn't get them through. And every morning, there's five or six people from Australia. Every morning, I'm

Eliza 20:16
impressed. I'm pretty impressed with that. I've definitely got a few to you.

Scott Benner 20:21
I appreciate it, but it freaks me out, because I'm like, how do they know about this? But then I guess, how does somebody in Montana know about it? But you know what I mean, so it's a

Eliza 20:29
big it's a big world. Oh, yeah, how did I find so another weird fact was that one of my son's friends in school. His mother is a type one since she was 21 so that I had in my brain. And I think she was there when I had this initial chat with the mums. And she said, go onto some support pages on Facebook. And she sent you the link of a couple in Australia from one of those, there were people harping on about yours, the juicebox. And I don't remember exactly which comment or which page, but one of them would have mentioned it. And I probably would have got a few people repeated, repeated, repeated people saying you it sounds like you want to listen, or it sounds like you, you know, you would really benefit from this episode or this podcast, or they were talking about it, man, like they were all

Scott Benner 21:28
right, that's what I need, people. Well, thank you everyone. That's how it works. I know I say it a lot, but yeah, I have almost no control over the podcast growing. It's you guys. So I really appreciate that. I'm

Eliza 21:38
doing the same. I've got some hardcore I've got a hardcore fan of yours now he's done from number one. And I'm like, okay, that's

Scott Benner 21:46
what we need, because of appropriate period. When I hear that, I hear it, oh, that's like, another 1000 downloads this year. Excellent.

Eliza 21:53
Needy for those downloads, aren't you?

Scott Benner 21:57
Listen if you're a podcaster, and I can't believe I'm a podcaster. So ridiculous. Woke

Eliza 22:03
man, oh my God. Listen,

Scott Benner 22:07
if you do this for a hobby, that's lovely, but if you do this and it's paying your bills, then and you tell me you're not a whore to those downloads, then I say you're foolish.

Eliza 22:17
I agree. I agree. I agree not 100% yet. I haven't helping you Well, I

Scott Benner 22:24
appreciate that, and I don't mean I'm like, I'm just making it for numbers so I can sell ads like, that's not the point. I actually think about it backwards. I had a business meeting yesterday about a possible new advertiser, and it's an advertisement to spread the word about something that's really valuable for people with type one diabetes, and I want to do it, and I'm laying out what the show is, but they need certain numbers, or they're not going to be involved. Like, I'm laying it all out. And she got what did the one of the there was eight people in the meeting, which seemed really unnecessary, if I'm being honest, but the one person said, Jesus. Like, you're almost aggressive about it. I was like, I've had this podcast for 10 years. You think it's because I sit here and just hope it works out. I was like, well, they're

Eliza 23:04
clearly, you know, used to a much chill vibe from their podcast. Can

Scott Benner 23:08
I say they were New York? And I got a lot of that New York vibe from everybody, and, like, no shade. But I think everyone knows what I mean, you know, I was like, All right, everybody was a little too cool for the room. Nobody wanted to be excited about anything. You know, I was not professional enough or pretending to be professional enough. Whatever it is people do. I have no ability to not be myself. So

Eliza 23:32
that's why I like you so much, Scott, that's why I like your podcast. So

Scott Benner 23:36
that's nice of you. But in a meeting with eight people from a media buying agency. It doesn't look good. I don't think when I'm just like, you know, I'm like, well, listen, this is going to be a tough sell. You know, what you're trying to do is not easy to get people to understand. But I said, if I can't do it, the good news is nobody else can. They were like, what? So anyway, I don't know how it went.

Eliza 23:58
It's like I went to hearing new ads. Now, if they, you know, yeah,

Scott Benner 24:03
I would tell you what it's for, because I'm going to be like, I'll be proud if, if it comes on as an advertiser. But now that I talked about them, I don't want to say what it was. So, no,

Eliza 24:12
just in case, don't give them anything to be insulted. Yeah,

Scott Benner 24:16
I felt a little judged, but that's okay. I think

Eliza 24:19
you a good judge of what you should and shouldn't advertise. I think you've proven that I'm

Scott Benner 24:25
getting there. So I don't want to take a big left turn, but I'm looking at your notes, and there's a couple of things you wanted to highlight, and the one thing you know that, um, one of these things is not like the other. What was that Sesame Street? Or yeah, there's just one line. It's like a line item in your list where I'm like, I don't understand how this goes with everything else, but it's so serious. Okay, okay. Do you want to skip it or tell me

Eliza 24:51
I'm not looking at the notes, so why don't you read it out? Well, that's gonna be shocking. The line. Well,

Scott Benner 24:57
here let me, let me tell you so that you said. Struggle there was that I had to advocate for breast feeding and nursing while I was caring for a type one not getting any sleep. I want to talk about hospital care in Australia. I want to give other people hope and a positive outlook, but then it says dealing with mental health issues and abuse, and you indicate that it's sexual abuse under the same roof while also getting grips on diabetes care. I don't understand that

Eliza 25:23
that's something we now associate with the diabetes diagnosis year, because, so that's what 2022 so that's our year from hell. We don't the covid year is like a walk in the park that was nothing here in Adelaide, which was like famously low lockdown restrictions and all that. Yeah, sadly, my stepdaughter, so my partner, has a well, she's now 18. She was 16 at the time, and it was probably three months past diagnosis, still very much in survival mode, still very much struggling, lot of crying, lot of anxiety around everything and eating and, you know, having to inject your child. And Ben was already a very emotional person. We both are, like highly emotional, highly kind of passionate, creative types, and just extremely, like, high, you know, high emotion heart, like on our sleeves, kind of like we would cry about the diabetes, and then he goes UK for a grandparent's funeral, and like, he's walking in the door and his 16 year old breaks down and tells him that she's in a relationship and she's being raped by her boyfriend, who she's been trying to dump for months, and that he's been letting himself in with a key to her to our house and letting himself into her bedroom and lacing her weed with, I don't even know what I but something like Xanax or something comes into my mind, like something that shouldn't be smoked was being put in, like vape. It was like another bomb house. Oh, my God. And then ricocheted through like it was horrible.

Scott Benner 27:22
You know, I'm so sorry. That's, that's horrible is not a good enough word. These, and these two are they were dating.

Eliza 27:29
They had been dating for nearly two years, and he'd been at in our family home and fully at birthdays, and we try to include him. And, you know, they'd been high school sweet arts for a while came out that it wasn't the first time that she'd been abused. And she'd also been abused at 13, and the roller coaster just kept, like, going, man, like,

Scott Benner 28:00
yeah, what does that do to every to the house? I mean, she's obviously getting it off her chest, which is terrific, and, you know, trying to move forward from it, yeah. But does your, does your partner like? I mean, is there a dead kid in your backyard? Now, anything like that,

Eliza 28:15
nearly, yeah, I would say that it could have happened. Was certainly something he wanted to do, which he was open to me about that he said he didn't know if he bumped into this kid at the mall, that he wouldn't just bash him to death, basically, with his bare hands, because his baby was like, Yeah, violated and so hurt in such a horrible way he was in two years, and some normality is now, like back with him. How is she so we've been and she, she's Oh, she was bad for a long time, but I almost thought it was better, because we didn't know what was going on, but she was like cutting, self harming for years, since about 13, and sketch such bad mental health, like, well, she was diagnosing herself. Well, she's been doing that since she was 13. But really, I mean, from my perspective, it's that she's just, you know, been traumatized and abused, and so she's, like, got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or some like, and, but she's diagnosing herself with, oh, I'm BPD. What's that? Borderline Personality Disorder? Because I've got all those symptoms. I'm depressed, I'm suicidal, I think of death. I idolize, you know, ideation. So she was going through a horrible time, and it took a while to come out of that. She thinks she's in a good place now, though. So that is

Scott Benner 29:44
I'm glad. Did you all not know? I guess you didn't know about that from the time she was 13.

Eliza 29:49
No, we just knew that things got really horrible. But we actually just thought it was like teen banks, yeah,

Scott Benner 29:56
so I'm sorry. So you're, I don't know what to call him, the boy. He. The guy, the husband, the partner. He um, you messed me up by calling him seven things at the beginning. And now I don't know what to say, but he flies to wash to England for a grandparent's funeral. Comes home to you breastfeeding and helping a newly diagnosed five year old. And then this comes

Eliza 30:17
home for, yeah, three weeks? Was it three weeks?

Scott Benner 30:21
Oh my gosh. Then this comes out. It's all piled on top of each other. He's having murderous thoughts, which I I applaud, by the way, do you go to the police? How do you handle that? We

Eliza 30:32
don't. But he calls the police, but it doesn't mean anything unless she makes a statement, which she hasn't still, but she still might, but I don't think that'll have a lot of bearing. She was seeing a psychologist at the time, and, you know, so, you know, Ben called the psychologist and asked for her because she was quite a sort of well known one in the area for this type of help, like with teens going through abuse, like victims and things. So she was already seeing someone who probably knew before us to be honest about what had been happening. And then they said, to try a crisis center, some mixed advice on what to do to help everyone. But in terms of legality, there was really, there's no charges. He's just out there doing whatever he wants. Do you think he's done it to other people prior? Well, he was dealing, dealing drugs in the school. This is a Catholic school, by the way. We're not religious, but her, her her grandparents were paying and they are regret,

regret, regret, go to the local school. That's what we should have done.

There is nothing to do now. It's all in the past. But what was the question?

Scott Benner 31:53
No, I just didn't know if he if you had found out that this was something he was doing to other people prior.

Eliza 31:59
Found out anything. Phone calls were made very fast to the parents, though, by my partner, they were obviously pretty skeptical for a while, but there were some dubious texts and screenshots that his daughter had so she he sent those on as some sort of evidence. I don't think much would hold up in court, because she was also actually drugged for so much of it, her memory is so foggy. She just knows that she'd been violated, if you know what I mean, like, and she felt violated, and he got stalky and stuff, but he denies it all from the get go, denied everything. So I have to

Scott Benner 32:41
tell you, like, there's a lot of things I didn't expect when I started a diabetes podcast, but that I have had three separate conversations in the last four weeks about, I tried not to use the word right, but about sexual assault, it almost feels commonplace sometimes, you know? And I just, and it's such, I mean, it's such, I mean, it's another invisible thing, you know, sort of, it's funny. In the beginning of this episode, before I knew this was going to come up, I was like, Oh, I'm going to call this episode Arthur and the invisible illness. I was like, because of the movie, it's going to be catchy. We're going to love it. And then, as you're telling this story, I'm like, this is an invisible thing too. But I of course, am not going to make a title out of it. There's so many things happening to people all the time, all over the place that you just, you're just unaware of, you know, and then you're, you know, your whole family probably gets thrown into that cauldron with her and her, I'm gonna, I guess, her mental struggles after this. Now you're watching her go through it, and him go through it. He's got this realization about his daughter and all this harm. There's your son. Yeah, type one, the

Eliza 33:47
injustice, the injustice. He's, he he's got, so he's, he's now, so he's jet lagged. He's arrived. He's jet lagged. He's been thrown into trauma, and he's now struggling to even, like, do basic human functions for about a year. Yeah. So he's so consumed that helping with diabetes has only started, like, a year after that, so and doing a lot of it on just my own, really. So, yeah, I went miles ahead, yeah. And

Scott Benner 34:20
I would imagine, even though you would understand his predicament, you probably begin to resent that at some point as well. I mean, resent might be a strong word, but you know what? I mean?

Eliza 34:30
No, it's not. It's not. I couldn't help myself. I was struggling. You know, it was hard. Three Weeks was hard, and then it came back. It was almost worth I had this whole other thing that was there, like, who needed caring for, who was trying not to have a breakdown, who had many, in fact, threatened to punch my dad in over Christmas, and he's 80 in his own home. He threatened to, oh, FM. And she had in and, you know, like, just completely off his rocker, like, this person that I'm apparently having, you know, got two kids with, and spend the most of my life with, was just this. Had no control, couldn't anything together. It was just, yeah,

Scott Benner 35:17
I would imagine when the person you have two kids with says, hey, it's Christmas. We should beat up your 80 year old father. You're probably like, Uh oh, darn it cutting.

Eliza 35:28
I nearly didn't stay with through many of this. Any thoughts of escape? And I had strategy. I have strategies in place to escape, and I also had fear of him. So out first, there were things thrown at times. Alcohol was being used to self medicate, as well as weed, and I didn't always feel safe. And my therapist said that she didn't think the kids were safe, and was trying to make me lay down some pretty thick, you know, rules and saying you need to, like, go live somewhere else three days a week to give us a break kind of thing.

Scott Benner 36:09
Yeah, it sounds like it was on the edge, but now this is a couple years later. Do you characterize like anything in your life, like it was before, or has everything changed?

Eliza 36:19
I feel like I'm still not really recovered seeing this other side of my partner. I feel like it's still difficult, because any stress that comes up, it still sparks a lot of he's always had a bit of anger management problems, so I suppose it's just it's too easy to trigger things. I'm like, such a committer, like, I'm really committed and like, people think, like, maybe I shouldn't commit to some people that I've committed to in the past.

Scott Benner 36:52
You know, I know people personally who are going through similar things, and there's part of me that thinks like, look at them like working hard to hold it together, and like to fix things and, you know, turn the lights back on, come out the other side, that kind of stuff. And then there is times where you're like, uh, maybe you ought to just cut bait and run, you know. But I also am from a divorced family, and I grew up believing that I wish my parents would have done something different and tried something different, because I don't see we didn't trade a bad thing for a good thing. We traded a bad thing for a different bad thing. Yeah,

Eliza 37:33
yeah. Honestly, I listened intently to interviews like with Erica and like the co parenting and the one about the divorcing or what to do and when, like, her last statement was basically, if you can avoid it, do you know, like the separating, and she said that, Like, quite strongly in one of those

Scott Benner 38:01
episodes, yeah, that that was her, right, not me, that said that that was

Eliza 38:05
her, yeah, that was her. And it right at a time that I was, like, really, like, a precipice about it, you know what I mean? And, and I like, okay, like, it deserves more time. Like, I'm, I'm, like, hearing messages to like, I should, I should try harder, or I should be more patient. I'm so freaking intolerant. Like, oh my god, yeah, yeah, I put up with so much, and that's what my friends don't like to see some of them. They're just like, you put up with too much. It's like another child for you. You don't need to have to look after everyone else's problems in the house. And

Scott Benner 38:39
does he go to therapy?

Eliza 38:42
Uh, sporadically, yeah,

Scott Benner 38:44
yeah, you might. Maybe you should make that a more like weekly thing, you know, and say, does he know what his issues are? Like, if, if, if he was here right now, and I said, Yeah, you have anger issues. And Bob, he'd go, I know. Or he'd be like, No, I don't.

Eliza 38:57
He would say, I know.

Scott Benner 38:59
Okay, well then, yeah, then work harder at getting rid of it, because this is going to ruin our relationship. Like, have you ever told him that?

Eliza 39:06
Yeah, confrontation is my favorite thing. We've had some big talks, but I don't like to bring things up late, but he has a lot of goals to always be improving, like when he's in a good place. So right now he's in a good place. We visited the family in the UK for Christmas. That trip was a nightmare. It was very triggering for him. Don't want to talk about that. La, la la. Traumatic for me, looking after the kids again the whole time. But it was like, la, la, la, everything's great. And I'm like, that was so hard. I'm recovering.

It's amazing. Now we're home. Here's a pump. I'm gonna get on a health kick. I'm gonna lose all this weight. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, yeah, deal with my shit, you know, like, and I'm like, Uh huh, I

Scott Benner 39:59
had somebody. Approached me, uh, recently, and I mean, I've, I've been very honest about it on the podcast, but I've used a GLP to lose weight, and I've lost like, 50 pounds. So I saw somebody listening, yeah, thank you. So I saw somebody the other day who I hadn't seen in a while, and they were like, Oh my God. Like, it's such a like, You look terrific. And I was like, thank you. They said, how much have you lost? And I said, about 50 pounds. And they were like, No, I don't like, that's not possible. So I have to have this same conversation with people over and over again that I weighed a lot more than I looked like I

Eliza 40:32
weighed. What is that in kilos? Sorry, hold

Scott Benner 40:36
on a second. You're gonna make me use the internet there. Hold on. Hold on, 50 pounds in kilos? Is that kg? Is that? What that is? Kg? 22.6 kilograms is 50 pounds. Okay, but

Eliza 40:50
what were you to start with? In kg? I

Scott Benner 40:52
know I'm gonna give it to you. Hold on a second. Thank you. Very, very demanding. 106.50

Eliza 41:00
it's very similar, okay,

Scott Benner 41:01
and so I'm, I'm five nine, and I'm probably 6570 pounds over the obese limit as far as the healthcare standards go. Now, when you say that to people, they go, Oh, those are ridiculous. Guess what? They're kind of not. Because I was 235 I stood in front of a doctor, and I said, I have to lose weight. I'm gonna die. And she goes to me, lose weight. What do you mean? And like, I had to stand up in the office. I took my sweatshirt off. I was like, How much do you think I weigh? And she said, 175 pounds, which would have been 79 kilos. So she assumed I weighed she assumed I weighed 79 when I was 106 because I just, you know, when you hear people say, Oh, they carry the weight well. But I don't even think that's it. I think that's bullshit. Now that I, like have lived through this weight loss of the last year, I think what happens is, first of all, it's like that slow drip. You don't, you know, the the old thing where you like, you know, you can put a frog in a pot of cold water and heat it up slowly, and it'll sit there and happily boil to death. But, you know, so lovely. Yeah, you just don't keep the analogy. No, thank you. That's actually true. But if you throw the same frog into boiling water, it'll jump right out. If you take somebody towards something slowly enough, they'll become used to it as they go, and they won't rebel against it, which is probably an euphemism for your relationship. But let's get past that. And so no one knows how fat I am. I don't know I don't see it when I look in the mirror. People who look at me don't know that you were Thank you. Thank you. And so, you know, so this person's like, well, you know, oh gosh, like, I need to lose weight, like that. And I said you should call your doctor and see if your insurance covers this. And the person says, I know what to do. And I'm like, You know what to do, to call the doctor like I thought we were talking about a GLP medication. And they say, no, no. Like, I know what to do, how to eat and exercise to get rid of this. And I said, Are you over 50 years old? And they said, Yeah. And I'm like, How come you haven't done it for the last 30 years? And she looks back at me, and I went, you're not going to do it. I wasn't going to do it. You're not going to do it. It's not going to happen. I know you know how that's meaningless. You're gonna have a heart attack. I was like, do it or don't it's up to you. You know what I mean. But like, don't stand here and go, Oh, everything's okay, because everything's not okay. I've lost. I weigh 100 this morning. I was 187 so hold on, 90 727. 17. Yeah, I've I've lost, I'm sorry, I counted on my fingers by 10s, and you can go yourself if you don't like it, okay,

Eliza 43:49
manually trying to convert that to CG, to me, I'm like, Oh, my God,

Scott Benner 43:54
I don't have that kind of prowess. It's, I thought you knew I was counting on my fingers. So, um, so, so I've lost 4048, pounds, and I'm telling you right now, it's not body dysmorphia, it's I'm still fat, like I have what I'm guessing is 15 more pounds to lose, but to be perfectly honest with you, it could be more. I have no idea. And so, like, and I learned that I'm the worst judge of it, because at 235 I thought I just need to lose 20 pounds.

Eliza 44:22
So your aim? You are aiming for that 170 ish, no

Scott Benner 44:27
aiming. I am aiming not to be able to grab a handful of fat on me anywhere. That's what I'm eating.

Eliza 44:34
Okay, go. You. I don't know about this drug only

Scott Benner 44:38
Nicki Minaj needs that because she's making a living off her ass, but I'm not so, like, you know, I don't want to be able to grab a handful of fat somewhere, like, that's when I'll be okay. That's when I'll know I'm I'm healthy. It's a good goal. Yeah, that's all. I don't care about the numbers. It could be two more pounds. It'd be fine with me. I don't care about the weight.

Eliza 44:56
I need to drink that, but we've both got it so we're on. On, like, a health kick, good for you, even my son, but he started putting on a bit too much weight, I'd say over just like the holidays. I'm just like, oh, is it insulin? Like, is it part of the fact that he's taking this, like, artificial insulin? Is it? Is it causing weight gain? Certainly seems to make him hungry, so hungry it could

Scott Benner 45:22
be also there's that whole thing about Amylin, which I still have to go into, but type ones and hunger are not uncommon. Yeah, I

Eliza 45:31
wanted to ask you about that. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:33
Amylin is a 37 amino acid peptide hormone that is CO secreted with insulin by the pancreatic beta cells in response to nutrition stimulus. It is deficient in patients with type one diabetes and elevated in patients with early type two diabetes. So that's just a thing like, that's true. You know, they used to, back in the day, give type one's Amylin, and they just not give it to them. I gotta remember the old heads that have been on here and talked about it. Was in one of the insulins. Wow. And it's not anymore. And so interesting. I mean, listen, Arden started using just a quarter of a milligram of GLP weekly, and she's probably lost 15 pounds. And you wouldn't look at her and think Arden needed to lose weight, but she had weight to lose, and it came off.

Eliza 46:25
Any GOP

Scott Benner 46:28
sponsors yet? No, you know, pharma companies don't sponsor things. It's device manufacturers. Pharma companies don't, yeah, they should, because I lost 48 pounds. Talk

Eliza 46:40
about it a lot like you really are doing well on it. Like, I always want to know more. I haven't googled it yet. Like, what is this? Is it safe? Is it natural? Like, what is this?

Scott Benner 46:51
You know what? You know what's less safe than this a heart attack when I'm 55 Yeah,

Eliza 46:56
yeah.

Scott Benner 46:57
I'm not pushing it. I think it's coming. Like, I think you're gonna see it widespread. Like, wait till you hear some of the episodes that are coming up with people type ones using it, and their insulin needs are dropping significantly. My daughter's using a lot less insulin, and she's not even on what they would consider a therapeutic dose of it. She's taking a little tiny bit of it. So,

Eliza 47:21
oh, I love it. This is one of the best things about your podcast. And what like you just, just gather this, like, wealth of kind of what's coming. And I just love the hope that all the technology and the advances and listening to that part of it's so good. And I'm glad I've just built Luke. I just built it. Oh, good. I just finished. Literally, finished it, like two nights ago, put it on his phone. We haven't activated it yet, and I want to build caregiver first. And, you know, like we're about to start that process, because we'd be on the dash, yeah, with Bs for a year. Oh, not FIAs for a year, but on the on the dash pods for a year and yeah, wouldn't consider any tube pump. I must have started listening to your podcast very early on. Yeah, it must have been very, very soon into diagnosis, because I can't remember not having it as this, like Guiding Light, like, as soon as I started listening to those pro tips, I was then I was asking all these questions. Oh, that's amazing. I'm so happy to be telling

Scott Benner 48:25
I'm very happy that that it helps. I actually, there's a, there's a post in the Facebook group right now. It's just people who are like, just sharing their story about like, I put up the post. I was like, hey, if the group's been valuable to you? Can you let me know how? Because every once in a while I need to, like, reorient myself. This is gonna sound weird, or I don't know, like I'm up my own ass, but every once in a while I need to reorient myself with what it is I do, like who I am in, like, in this equation between you guys listening and me. Do you know what I mean? Because, like, it can get on cruise control sometimes, like, I make the podcast and I do this and I do that, like, every once in a while, like, I gotta remind myself that it's helping people, you know, because I get lost in the making it. Sometimes

Eliza 49:13
it is very much helping people. Don't ever forget it. No, I

Scott Benner 49:17
can't, because the messages that got put up are just, you've got them,

Eliza 49:20
you've got them in stone. Now, oh, it's just one etched.

Scott Benner 49:24
I can't, you know, I read every one of them. They're all really impactful and interesting. But it's sometimes hard to believe that. It's hard to believe they're talking about me that makes sense. You know what I mean? Like, I try to do that thing. Have you ever heard presidents talk about this? Like there's a distinction between me and the office. Like, when I'm doing something difficult, I like to think of it as the Office of the President doing it, not me. I understand, yeah, my brain works that way, not for the same reason. Like, I just try to keep it like the show, The Show helps people, because, if not, then I'm some douche. Bag running around, going, how did I help you? Like, you know, like, tell me what. Tell me how great I am. And I don't mean that, and I don't feel that. I don't need that. I do need to be reminded bigger

Eliza 50:09
than you. Yeah, it is now. It really is not just you, is it? Because, I mean, not only do you have amazing guests like Jenny and Erica and all these series that you've put together with your helpers like Isabel and all the nicos and all the people on Facebook, but you've got like, people have been living, living with it, and it's just a wealth of knowledge, and I just couldn't imagine life without it, and I just keep preaching it to everyone.

Scott Benner 50:34
Oh, I'm glad. I'm so happy it works for you, and you're not wrong, by the way. It's like I took it to a certain level, and then adding the Facebook group was another dimension. And then it got so big that I couldn't foster it really, like I was, it was me, like I would get on every day and just be like, I'd run through and answer as many questions as I could, and like, point people to episodes of the podcast. And like, it was like I was working like, 24 hours a day, and then we just added a couple of like group experts. And, you know, a moderator, Isabelle, terrific, and the group experts are amazing. There's at this point, too many of them to list right now, and, yeah, they're just people donating their time who are jumping into like threads and being like, Hey, I see your question. You should try this episode or this series will help with that, or like that kind of thing. And then, well,

Eliza 51:24
you've been referred to as a cult by my partner, and he was in his dark moment. You know that diabetes cult? You know

Scott Benner 51:36
he would have punched me if I he was

Eliza 51:39
ready to kill anyone? Yeah,

Scott Benner 51:43
I get invited to Australia. Every once in a while. I didn't know I was going to get beat up when I

Eliza 51:49
got there if I went. Love barrel of laughs and his dark hours. But, um, no, he sees how it's helped Arthur and his like a 1c and the hospital just keep telling him that I'm doing an amazing job, so I just go with that like the evidence is there. It's not a cult.

Scott Benner 52:07
These people say otherwise, and you seem angry, so we're not listening to you. Hey, Eliza, what's he angry about? Something happened to him in his childhood.

Eliza 52:18
Look, I think there's abandonment issues, yeah, yeah. Some abandonment stuff with his parents. I don't think He's forgiving them still, so I think he's hold I think he's having trouble with forgiving. Okay, we talk about it. I talk about with his mom. It's all quite open. We have talked about a lot of it as as something that he probably should look at but because he also grew up in a big, rough city. It's like growing up in New York, grew up in London, and it was not a well to do suburb. It was a rough suburb, and it was rough, and he got beat up, and he's had his Stallman from him, and kids down the street would steal his toys, and he was the only kid on the street who had birthday parties and, you know, like, so I think he had just a bit of a rough time. And because of the sensitive nature of his, you know, his genes, or genetic makeup, has caused him to become who he is today. I mean, not everyone. Turns out, you always like to think about that nature, nurture, how much is genes and how much is your environment making

Scott Benner 53:27
you Yeah, sometimes you don't have a chance. Hey, maybe you should just move, move to a continent instead of stop living on islands. Like, is that possibly your problem? Like, is

Eliza 53:36
he nervous? It's actually an island continent,

Scott Benner 53:39
whatever. It's surrounded by sharks, and you open your toilet, and sometimes there are spiders and snakes in it, so I don't know what you're doing. Maybe

Eliza 53:47
in, you know, other parts, not here in Adelaide. Have

Scott Benner 53:50
you heard me ever interview an Australian person where I was like, Come on, tell me you've opened your toilet and seen a spider before? And they go, yes, that's happened. And I'm like, see

Eliza 53:59
hasn't happened to me. If

Scott Benner 54:01
it did, you'd be on a plane and getting the hell out of there. You'd be like, my friends are right. I need to separate from you people.

Eliza 54:08
Goodbye. Cost me $7 for like, six months. Oh, never mind. Dexcom is free. Dexcom is completely free until 21 and then it's $30 a month.

Scott Benner 54:17
Oh, not quite a spider for that

Eliza 54:21
exactly, exactly I'm talking. It is great. Wow, hell, amazing. Is really good. Everything was just given to us on the platter. All right, I'm on

Scott Benner 54:33
my way. Yeah. Will they pay for the financial concern? Will they pay for GLP medications, or have they not come there yet? Thing I'm

Eliza 54:43
going to have to ask, yeah, it's a lot more, a lot a lot more support for children. Of course, everything's cheaper. If you're concession you're a concession part and through the public health system, and if you're a child, it's free. And it gets harder once you get a bit older. That, yeah, yeah, I'm

Scott Benner 55:01
tired of paying for stuff, so I'm coming to Australia. Makes sense,

Eliza 55:04
right? Mate. Do it? Yeah? Fantastic. Yeah, really fun. Is a lot of sunshine. I

Scott Benner 55:09
mean, I did like the idea that you're on the beach at Christmas. That sounded nice.

Eliza 55:12
Yeah? We usually have a swim, yeah, Christmas Day, but

Scott Benner 55:17
they're sharks, right? Well, you

Eliza 55:19
don't have to swim out where they swim.

Scott Benner 55:22
How do they know where to swim and where not to

Eliza 55:25
swim? No, they are large, and they don't come shallow. I always think you had it coming. If you go out there and you're doing something in the water, then that's in there. I'm a we're land animals.

Scott Benner 55:39
You've drawn a sturdy line between the common sense of a surfer and what they deserve,

Speaker 1 55:49
I think you did. Didn't you say that? Did

Unknown Speaker 55:52
you not say you've got it coming?

Eliza 55:56
All right? You knew the risks replace that. You knew the risk. If you go out into the like the big sea, then, you know, the big animals are there, like, if you go on a plane or go in a car, they're a risk. I

Scott Benner 56:11
hear you. I'm telling you right now. I saw a video the other day on one of the tech Graham things. It was a bunch of sharks swimming in what looked like a lake, not a ocean, there was an alligator in the picture. A bunch of people with Australian accents are like, I get away from the whatever they were saying, and then the one of the sharks bit, the goddamn. Is it a crocodile or not? Is a Crocodile? Crocodile? Crocodile bit the crocodile? I was like, What the fuck is happening? Why are these people near this? Why does this exist? To be

Eliza 56:45
honest, that's probably about a kilometer away place from here. So, like the whole of Europe, fit in Australia. You talk about Australia, it's like talking about many countries so big? Oh, it's huge, yeah, so we're in the south. We don't have crocodiles at all. There's no crocodile. You've been swimming up all the oceans that where we live. It's one giant beach. It's all swimmable. It's, it's a paradise.

Scott Benner 57:16
I mean, I hear what you're saying. Australia is huge. Australia is like, as big as America, right? Almost.

Eliza 57:22
I haven't looked at the compare maps on that one. I

Scott Benner 57:25
should have. I'll do it. Hold on a second. Yeah, that's freaking huge. That's like a real place. It's really

Eliza 57:31
big. Yeah, it is. It's huge, not a whole lot of people in comparison to other places, but it's, it's a lot of desert and a lot of just empty spaces.

Scott Benner 57:42
All right? I mean, I hear what you're saying, but there was, like, 50 sharks and a crocodile in one video, and there was a boat in the water, and the boat wasn't big, and the people were on and I'm like, what is happening? What are you doing? Go home. Like, stop drinking in public with your camera out, is what I was thinking, too. Like, my God, everyone's got

Eliza 58:02
a story to tell. Everyone's telling a story. You can choose which stories to watch. Eliza, I might be a boring person. Be among the stories. That's your choice. I

Scott Benner 58:12
might be a boring person, but vacuum your rug. Make a meal, go to bed. Get up, do some work. Smile. Have sex, take a shower. That's it. Stop with the crocodiles. DNA. Mean, like, my goodness, I

Eliza 58:23
agree. Drama. I don't need more. No, it's

Scott Benner 58:27
enough. What are you doing? Life's hard enough. You gotta go try find a place where sharks have the ability to bite the crocodile and then get involved.

Eliza 58:34
You can live a normal, boring, good life here. All right. Is cheap.

Scott Benner 58:40
Where? What town would I go to to live a normal, boring, good life in Australia,

Unknown Speaker 58:44
Adelaide,

Scott Benner 58:46
Perth. Perth, is that what you said sounds like you didn't want to say

Eliza 58:49
the age Adelaide, Perth, Perf, e r t h, I

Scott Benner 58:56
know what it was to be smaller. I'm just making fun of your accent. I'm sorry.

Eliza 58:59
I haven't been there, but, oh, are you now? Okay? You

Scott Benner 59:03
were like, you were like, Perf, I'm like, I think she means that Perth, but maybe I'm saying it wrong. Okay,

Eliza 59:09
pronounce your eyes quite so strongly. Like, that's just you guys.

Scott Benner 59:12
And here's something interesting. Adelaide. Kane is an Australian actress. Maybe she was named after the place.

Eliza 59:19
Did you know that sia is born and raised here, and is my mom is her godmother? Wait

Scott Benner 59:25
a minute. We've been talking for 59 minutes. I have a heart out in five more minutes, and C is your godmother, and this is just coming up. No, no,

Eliza 59:33
my mom is her godmother.

Scott Benner 59:35
Your mom is sia is godmother. It's 50 minutes in this I've got five more minutes to talk, and it's just again. Eliza, you how come you didn't lead with that? Stop right

Eliza 59:43
there. I'll just lay one more bomb on you, because you're gonna wish you had more time. My mom again, her first cousin is Nick Cave. Wait

Scott Benner 59:51
what? Yeah, I don't understand. How, how did all this happen?

Eliza 59:56
I know. What can I say?

Scott Benner 59:59
Wait. Right. Okay. So the Nick Cave thing, I have to admit, I don't care as much about because, you know,

Eliza 20:00:05
I know that you're a fan of sia is insane.

Scott Benner 20:00:09
That lady is very, very talented. Of course. How does this happen? So your mom's friends with somebody? Well,

Eliza 20:00:15
they're see his mother and my mother best friends since the 70s, Jesus

Scott Benner 20:00:20
Christ, and now you're telling me, okay, that's fine. Do you know? Have you met Sia? Well,

Eliza 20:00:27
yeah, and no, you see, the thing is, I wasn't sure I wanted to say it, but if I just knew you were such a fan,

Scott Benner 20:00:37
let me. Let me gusher a second here. Sia did a thing that never gets done, and she did it well, and it's amazing. She wrote new Christmas music, and it's not vomitous, you know what I mean by vomitus, right? And it's not, it's, it's catchy, and it's lovely, and young people like it as well as older people like it's she wrote modern Christmas music that everybody knows. That's nearly impossible to do, and it's very impressive. If you don't know the see a Christmas album, and it's Christmas time and you want Christmas music, you're making a huge mistake. If you don't just, I'm not lying, right?

Eliza 20:01:18
No, you're true. She's incredibly talented. I knew her as a teenager, so I was like, she took me out for ice cream, and we had a after that. Wait,

Scott Benner 20:01:29
wait, you, you faded away. You had one after that?

Eliza 20:01:33
Oh, it was a very relationship after she moved away. But I really, you know, she tried to give me her keys when I was visiting London to stay in her empty flat when I visited there, when I was 18. And then, you know, like, because she's a family friend, she was trying to help out. And then I met up with her when she visited Sydney, and I had a picnic with her and some buddies over there. I was only, like, early 20s. And then, you know, you know, one more time after that, like, it's, it's someone that I sent an email to occasionally was like, Oh, hey, I'm in this band. I think you'd love it. And like, I'm singing, I've always, like, you've always really inspired me. And, you know, like, yeah, just been inspired by her, yeah, um, she's amazing. I know you're

Scott Benner 20:02:23
pissing me off with a story. I don't know why it's making me upset.

Eliza 20:02:29
You wish you. You wish you. We could have talked about Thea, the whole oh my god, the problem I would have. The problem is there, Scott, is that I feel like this cheap Name Dropper, like I feel like I understand, because I understand.

Scott Benner 20:02:42
I'm sure she'll I'm not like, she'll never hear this. It'll be fine, really. Imagine, imagine Sia, yeah, I

Eliza 20:02:48
don't feel like that's cool, you know, like, I don't think that's being cool. Imagine

Scott Benner 20:02:52
sia knows somebody that gets type one diabetes, and years from now, she's listening to a podcast about type one trying to understand it. She goes talking about me on this podcast. And so

Unknown Speaker 20:03:01
it's true. It's true.

Scott Benner 20:03:04
I would, I would have spent 15 minutes talking about how, like, sia was a songwriter before she started singing her on mute, like, stuff or she did. And it wasn't like she didn't get out in front of it a lot and push it.

Eliza 20:03:15
Wasn't that, yeah, it was. It didn't go off. So she did. She did quite a few albums, and I loved all the early stuff. I've got them all. And then she just started writing for everyone else. Like, oh, here's a song for you. Here's a song for you. All the Pops. Oh, that got her then, like, all of them, yeah, her album

Scott Benner 20:03:34
with bird set free on it is really wonderful. Like, top to bottom. It's a it's a great, it's a great album. I don't know if people know this, but she writes the song, and then she lays down a demo track, and that's how they sell it. So if you go listen to Rihanna singing diamonds, Rihanna is doing an impression of siaz. Demo track,

Eliza 20:03:52
the only one I've heard we've actually like C is still on it, and that she's not credited either.

Scott Benner 20:03:58
No, she wrote that, but you can, yeah, you have to dig up the demo track. You

Eliza 20:04:02
can also hear him, like, you can hear it, yeah?

Scott Benner 20:04:05
Like, all those like, kind of weird runs and like, like affects on her way she sings is so unique, yeah? So Rihanna is literally just, she's mimicking the demo track. It's really interesting, yeah? Like, I don't say that in a band, it's just it's really interesting. So it would be, it would be like, if someone like, tried to pick up my Philly accent, or whatever my accent is now that I live between Philly and New York and like, you know, and and tried to mimic it like Rihanna heard that, and was like, I'm just gonna sing it with all the affectation that she has in it. And it's exactly the same. It's very crazy anyway, all right, well, the

Eliza 20:04:39
song wasn't going to be any good without it sounding like Thea, basically, I

Scott Benner 20:04:43
think so too. Yeah, no, she, it's not the words and the tune as much as it is how it's being sung, but just really cool. Okay, well, now I basically feel like I'm see his best friend because I spoke

Eliza 20:04:55
to you. Hey, six, six. Uh, what's it called? Six Degrees in separate. She's just gotten a lot short exactly

Scott Benner 20:05:01
right? My Kevin bas it's Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. All right. I don't know what to call this episode.

Eliza 20:05:09
I hate him. Oh my God, I

Scott Benner 20:05:10
don't like Kevin Bacon. What has he done to you? I have two minutes. What has Kevin Bacon done to you? Just putting. He's Kevin Bacon's off putting. You know, he lost a vast amount of his money him and Kira Cedric in the Bernie Madoff pyramid scheme.

Eliza 20:05:25
I don't follow entertainment news. I just remember never liking any of that's not entertainment

Scott Benner 20:05:30
news. That was a massive like financial fraud.

Eliza 20:05:36
I don't follow the what? All

Scott Benner 20:05:37
right, well, I mean, I don't either. It's just, I just know a lot of stuff. I don't know why I know this stuff. Perfectly honestly, it's my brain's being wasted on, on knowing that Kevin Bacon and Kara Cedric were taken down by Bernie Madoff.

Eliza 20:05:50
I don't have space for that, Scott. There's no space in my brain for that. That's going in one out and out. I

Scott Benner 20:05:57
don't think you need that.

Eliza 20:05:59
I'm fine. I'm doing great.

Scott Benner 20:06:01
I apologize for having to jump off, but I have to go be a good spouse now, so I have a real opportunity not to get yelled at if I get off this recording right now and go do something.

Eliza 20:06:11
I'm sad we couldn't keep chatting longer. Me too. Also,

Scott Benner 20:06:13
if Australia is listening, please get better internet access. I like talking to people in Australia, but my God, is it tough? Like? What is it like you got one cable running under the ocean to China or something like that? Like, what in the hell? Jeez. Yes,

Eliza 20:06:26
that's the truth. No, not serious. No, no, no, I'm

Scott Benner 20:06:32
being serious. It's shocking. All it makes me think is New Zealand must be really in trouble. They're trying to use the internet. Yes, oh, my God, that's terrible. Like, your net sucks. I feel, I feel like it's 70 years ago when I'm talking to you, everything

Eliza 20:06:51
is behind here. Honestly, it's, yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 20:06:56
all right, I gotta go. You were terrific. Thank you for sharing all this with me. You know better than you, and thanks for the podcast. That was way too nice. But thank you. I'll talk to you. Hold on one second. I'll say goodbye to you when we're not recording.

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