#1181 After Dark: Black Squirrel

Haley is 28. She was misdiagnosed with T2 but has T1 diabetes. She also has Necrobiosis Diabetica, Ehlers-Danlos and more. Warning: Talk of suicidal ideation, cutting and other issues.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends welcome to episode 1181 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today we're going to do an after dark with Haley who is 20 years old and has type one diabetes she works on a hobby farm was diagnosed with type two, obviously misdiagnosed with type two originally. We're going to have a lot here in this one. So be ready for some talks about drugs, depression cutting some suicidal ideation. But there's a lot more to this conversation with Haley so settle in and we'll get going. Nothing new here on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Or becoming bold with insulin. Get your FREE 14 day trial@aura.com slashed juicebox that's right protection for your online identity and much more. I mean seriously much more credit score's oh my god, it protects your devices VPN, but this thing what it doesn't do. I mean, it would be easier to list what ora.com can't do for you or a.com/juice box get a free 14 day trial. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cosy earth.com This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next one.com/juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing together people who are redefining what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Mark, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 28. He's 47. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. And then at the very end of the episode, you can hear my entire mini interview with Mark to hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community or to share your own story. Visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box and check out the Medtronic champion hashtag on social media.

Hayley 2:20
My name is Hayley.

Scott Benner 2:22
And you don't know how else to describe yourself other than Haley. That's fine. Yeah,

Hayley 2:27
I guess. No, I'm working mom. And I'm a farmer. So

Scott Benner 2:34
you're a farmer? Yeah. Okay. So you have a job and you're a farmer or your job is farming?

Hayley 2:40
Both? Yeah. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:42
so you work somewhere else in conjunction with the farming? Yeah, I actually work two jobs. Okay. What kind of farm? Is that your farm? Yeah, it's gotten a

Hayley 2:51
lot smaller through the years, but my parents live on property, and we all live on the same property. Okay. So I've just been doing a bunch of turkeys and chickens and

Scott Benner 3:01
stuff. Oh, I see. So mostly poultry. Yeah, yeah.

Hayley 3:06
I do the whole process from hatching them out to butchering them.

Scott Benner 3:09
Wow. And do you sell them locally? Or does somebody like take your stock and sell them somewhere else?

Hayley 3:15
I don't really sell them. You have to have certain licenses to be able to sell poultry. So I will give them away to friends, but I will not sell them.

Scott Benner 3:27
Oh, okay. Wait a minute. So you hold on a second you I like you, you're gonna confuse me the entire time. You you do the husbandry part. And then you raise them. And then you go, Hey, come here, buddy, I guess smack in the head and kill it. And then he cut its head off and pull it off its feathers and then give it away to somebody?

Hayley 3:46
Yeah, more gruesome than what how you described it, but yeah. Oh, it's

Scott Benner 3:49
I was nicer about it than it actually is. Okay. What why?

Hayley 3:57
Um, cuz I actually either cut off its head or I slit its throat. Okay.

Scott Benner 4:04
Yeah. Hey, listen, my my father's gone. And he described that his mom to his dad would get this bonus at the end of his work week. On if I've ever said this before. I apologize. They've given they'd give him a chicken at the end of the workweek. And he'd come home and just kind of toss it over the fence. And then his mom, my grandmother would have to go out and catch it and then wring its neck and and pluck it, then cook it. Oh my gosh. So she would do that with her bare hands because she was. Yeah, yeah, she was a farmer, too. There's no compulsion there. But But my point is this you have a farm but you don't make money with it.

Hayley 4:45
No, I usually have people like buy feed for my birds. It's mostly just a hobby farm. It used to be a lot bigger because I used to have like almost 160 birds. But now I just we just get the eggs.

Scott Benner 4:59
Gotcha. I had turkey for.

Hayley 5:01
Yeah, but normally I'll go and help some of my local farmers and I'll help them butcher their birds.

Scott Benner 5:06
Oh, I see classes. Oh, so you got to transferable skills though. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah, it's

Hayley 5:13
mostly it's really just for fun. I don't make any money off of it. It's anything I lose money. But it's something to keep me entertained. So Haley's

Scott Benner 5:20
crazy clarity. You murder birds for fun. Is that correct?

Hayley 5:24
No, no, I, it's the husbandry that's the fun part. Okay, and also to provide food for someone else. That's the fun part.

Scott Benner 5:34
I was teasing you but okay.

Hayley 5:36
I'm giving them the other people's skills. Like a lot of times, I've had people come up to me, and like, ask me like, Oh, do you know anybody that knows how to do this? And I was like, Yeah, I can teach you. Oh, wow. Nice. I like doing those kinds of things. Because it's people learning how to literally grow their own food.

Scott Benner 5:54
Did your parents make a living with the farm?

Hayley 5:57
No.

Scott Benner 5:59
Oh, this is a generational thing.

Hayley 6:00
No, no. My mom used to live on like an Angus beef farm. But my parents won't actually eat any of the meat that I make.

Scott Benner 6:12
They don't trust you know, they

Hayley 6:14
just feel bad. Really? Yeah, I don't. I've effectively turned my mother into a vegetarian.

Scott Benner 6:24
Yeah, accusing the hell out of me, Haley, let's keep going. Do you have type one diabetes? Were you the parent or someone with type one? I have type one diabetes. When were you diagnosed?

Hayley 6:33
I was diagnosed like, seven years ago. So I was right after my 21st birthday. Okay, I was actually diagnosed with type two. All

Scott Benner 6:42
right. How long did that misdiagnosis lasts for?

Hayley 6:45
Like two years. Whoa, really? Yeah. Well, because I was controlling it with the keto diet. Uh huh. And so like, I got my Awan Steen down to like a 6.2 in three months.

Scott Benner 6:59
So you were honeymooning still you were your body was making some insulin? Yes,

Hayley 7:04
it was making some insulin. But what really kicked it is that I finally I got mono and didn't know about it. And so that really just kind of pushed it over the edge.

Scott Benner 7:15
Do you think we can call this episode Burdur? I think we can. I think I'm going to it's a strong contender in my mind early on. So like murderer but with bird. So burger. You got the joke, right? Yes, I do. Yeah. Okay.

Hayley 7:37
I work like 60 hours a week. So it's not just that

Scott Benner 7:40
you better say something much more interesting in the next 15 minutes, or you're gonna get an episode called burger. 100% sure of that. Okay, so you were misdiagnosed as a type two for all you were managing with like a keto diet, any medication. Right now we're going to hear from a member of the Medtronic champion community. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes. And this is Mark.

David 8:04
I use injections for about six months. And then my endocrinologist in the Navy recommended a pump. How long

Scott Benner 8:10
had you been in the Navy? Eight years up to that point? I've interviewed a number of people who have been diagnosed during service and most of the time they're discharged. What happened to you?

David 8:19
I was medically discharged. Yeah, six months after my diagnosis. Was

Scott Benner 8:24
it your goal to stay in the Navy for your whole life? Your career? It was? Yeah,

David 8:28
yeah. In fact, I think a few months before my diagnosis, my wife and I had that discussion about, you know, staying in for the long term. And, you know, we've made the decision despite all the hardships and time away from home, that was what we loved the

Scott Benner 8:41
most. Was the Navy, like a lifetime goal of yours? lifetime goal.

David 8:45
I mean, as my earliest childhood memories were flying, being a fighter pilot, how

Scott Benner 8:50
did your diagnosis impact your lifelong dream?

David 8:53
It was devastating. Everything I had done in life, everything I'd worked up to up to that point was just taken away in an instant. I was not prepared for that at all. What does your support system look like? friends, your family caregivers, you know, for me to Medtronic champions, community, you know, all those resources that are out there to help guide away but then to help keep abreast on you know, the new things that are coming down the pike and to give you hope for eventually that we can find a cure. Stick

Scott Benner 9:18
around at the end of this episode to hear my entire conversation with Mark. And you can hear more stories from Medtronic champions and share your own story at Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox. That contour next gen blood glucose meter is the meter that we use here. Arden has one with her at all times. I have one downstairs in the kitchen, just in case I want to check my blood sugar and Arden has them at school. They're everywhere that she is contour next one.com/juicebox test strips and the meters themselves may be less expensive for you in cash out of your pocket than you're paying Currently through your insurance for another meter, you can find out about that and much more at my link contour. Next one.com/juicebox Contour makes a number of fantastic inaccurate meters. And their second chance test strips are absolutely my favorite part. What does that mean? If you go to get some blood, and maybe you touch it, and I don't know, stumble with your hand and like slip off and go back, it doesn't impact the quality or accuracy of the test so you can hit the blood not good enough, come back, get the rest without impacting the accuracy of the test. That's right, you can touch the blood, come back and get the rest, and you're gonna get an absolutely accurate test. I think that's important because we all stumble and fumble at times, that's not a good reason to have to waste a test trip. And with a contour, next gen. You won't have to contour next.com forward slash juicebox you're gonna get a great reading without having to be perfect.

Hayley 11:00
No, I really didn't want to do any medication. I wanted to try to do it myself before I had anything intervene. That wasn't myself. Because I've always had like, a lot of health issues, but I've always been like one to push through them myself and not take medication. So honestly, getting type one really hit me hard because that I had to take medication.

Scott Benner 11:21
Yeah. Did they eventually tell you you were Lada. So that's a pretty slow onset. Yeah.

Hayley 11:27
Like go back and forth. But yeah, it would, it would go to the fact that I'm probably a lot of they played around with, like the type one and a half and everything. But I think at this point, I'm really just insulin super insulin dependent. Yeah, you're type

Scott Benner 11:44
one now. Right? So yeah. Any autoimmune in the family or do you have any other autoimmune diseases?

Hayley 11:50
So I'm actually adopted?

Scott Benner 11:51
Oh, me too. So

Hayley 11:53
I didn't have any family history to go off of. So I didn't find out until more recently, in the last like two years when I finally reached out to my biological family. Yeah. But of course, none of them have type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 12:09
Any other autoimmune stuff? You know, I'm

Hayley 12:11
playing around. So I have multiple autoimmune diseases, right? I have diabetes, and then I had necro BIOSes. diamedica. It's like a skin thing. But it's not like your standard blistering skin thing. It just you're literally it's an autoimmune. It's your skins taking attacking itself.

Scott Benner 12:29
I'm still googling Hold on. Wait, say it again? necro necro

Hayley 12:36
or Nbd? Neck row. BIOSIS. Diabetic.

Scott Benner 12:44
Okay. What BIOSIS? Is it? LiPo lipid? dika. I have never lied. Don't read that phonetically. Give me a second. Okay. Uncommon condition related to diabetes?

Hayley 13:07
Yes, it's super uncommon. It's only found on diabetics. So when I actually found out that I had it, the specialist the skin specialist was like, Can we take a picture of it? It's not very common. We'd like to have evidence of it or like, Oh, great. Yeah, thanks. I want a laundry pose

Scott Benner 13:23
with a dead turkey. a skin rash that mostly commonly affects the shins and seems more often and seen more often in women? Is it on your shins?

Hayley 13:33
It's on my shins, but it's also on my hips too. If for some reason I haven't like in more areas than the common. So it's like, again, I want a letter again, I guess.

Scott Benner 13:44
Is the end is that? Wait. It's not autoimmune?

Hayley 13:48
Yeah, it's an autoimmune disease. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 13:50
Okay. Holy hell.

Hayley 13:53
Yeah. And then I have another one that I'm in the process of actually getting diagnosed with like, I know I have it. But I need like clinical diagnosis. It's called it's called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Oh, sure.

Scott Benner 14:05
The stretchy. Yeah.

Hayley 14:09
It's an autoimmune disease that affects your connective tissue. So you don't create the correct connective tissue.

Scott Benner 14:17
I once had a doctor say, we talking about that. And they said, you know, people can get diagnosed if they want but there's no treatment. He was out there. It was so matter of fact, he's like, so whatever. And I was like, Okay, brother. Oh, so you have a Deal or No, no, no, we I was talking about it with someone wants and he was just making the point. Like, you know, you can get people to get diagnosed that they want to but it's, there's, there's nothing you can do about it.

Hayley 14:41
Yeah, and the crazy thing is, is it actually affects your heart and digestive system as well, because it is the connective tissue.

Scott Benner 14:50
Yeah, so what are you saying?

Hayley 14:52
I'm like super bendy. Okay. But I also have a lot of hip and joint injuries like work and like, put my hip and knee at a place back in. Yeah. Like it's just on a regular basis. Does that hurt? Not anymore. Um, so because of chronic disease, and I've had it for so long. I don't really feel it anymore. Oh, wow. But, but because like if anybody else was in my body, they've been in tritiated pain, but

Scott Benner 15:20
it's just a party trick for you. Yeah, I guess. Good thing. That flexible. Yeah.

Hayley 15:29
But, um, yeah, so I actually started having issues when I was like, 12. And they all just thought it was just like growing pains. And, also, I'm sure I'd have huge feet, like, for my height, like a hobbit. Kinda, I were like, 10 and a half wides for women. And I'm only 530 Hell,

Scott Benner 15:49
you must take an L

Hayley 15:52
pretty much the same issue.

Scott Benner 15:54
Are you serious? When you tried to kiss? Can you not reach each other because your toes are hitting?

Hayley 15:58
No, he was taller than me. But. But Our poor son has big feet now too. I was like, Sorry, dude.

Scott Benner 16:07
That's a good try. But I still think this one's called burger. I haven't interviewed anybody in a few days. And I have like, there was a trip in between. So I feel like very silly right now. I don't know why. And we're doing it at night. I usually do these in the morning when I'm still being serious. Yeah, but but this could go well off the rails. Okay, so tell me a little bit about how you felt when you were younger. And what are you going to do to get a diagnosis? Well,

Hayley 16:36
I guess when I was younger, I tried to I'm very much does I like learning struggles, too. I am very much of like, I'm not gonna let myself stop me.

Scott Benner 16:47
I'm not gonna let myself stop me. That's excellent. Like you tell yourself. Oh, you can't? I gotcha. Yeah,

Hayley 16:54
exactly. Yeah, I never want anything to slow me down, let alone myself. Yeah. So I just persevered through it. And I did soccer. We have a picture of me kicking a soccer ball. It looks like my knees like opposite of what it supposed to be. Like a flamingo. Um, but yeah, so I just kind of grew up with it. And I just dealt with it. I was on swim team, like for like, as a actual, like, almost professional, like a professional. Right. And I did it for like, six years. But then finally, I just had a quick to my joints even though like swimming is supposed to be like gentle, new joints. It's the rotating all the time that really like affected me. So I found I just had to quit. But I've been like going another naturopathic doctors, physical therapy, all different kinds of things throughout my life. My parents really wanted me to succeed. Yeah, so there was a lot of just like when like my learning struggles in the ADHD, and the physical struggles.

Scott Benner 18:02
Yeah, we'll see. You said you had more things you have there, is it URLs then? How do you suppress that? Hilarious. So you probably have that. You've got ADHD. You have type one diabetes. You have the? The patches. Yeah, I don't want to say that word again. Because I think I almost cursed saying that word. It does. I mean, where's that at? Let's look at that again. Yeah, it's lip to the there's the necro BIOSIS. But then it's li P O ID. I see a

Hayley 18:38
Yeah, let the Let the dead code let the day. Yeah. Listen

Scott Benner 18:41
between you me, Haley. I was really afraid. I was gonna say like, and so I just kept stop.

Hayley 18:52
Yeah, so that one is harder to say. So I don't say is that that's a scientific name of it. Yeah,

Scott Benner 18:58
well, it doesn't sound scientific when I say it. So I skip it. Yeah, those would you have anything else?

Hayley 19:03
As of right now? I don't think so. But you know, with with autoimmune diseases, they all come in three and I met three.

Scott Benner 19:12
So it's either you hold here you think you're gonna go to six? Yeah, pretty much. How's your thyroid? Surprisingly, it's

Hayley 19:18
okay. Celiac. No, no, I don't have celiacs. I have a hormone imbalance. It's not like crazy. What

Scott Benner 19:27
does that what does that entail? Well, like I have

Hayley 19:32
higher testosterone than women should. So like I get like, sometimes I get a little bit of facial hair, which is great for a woman. No, you

Scott Benner 19:40
love You gotta love it. Yeah, people. Women are always very excited when they get facial hair and little stray hairs around their nipples are thrilled about to I've noticed you ever get those? No. Oh, good for you. Look at your wedding. Okay.

Hayley 19:55
But yeah, so it's, yeah, it's just weird. I didn't even know they really diagnose was new with it. And so I was going through my medical records after I was diagnosed type one. Okay. I was like, Oh, I guess I had a hormone imbalance.

Scott Benner 20:08
How about do you see any problems with your menstruation? Your periods? Do you have acne stuff like that around?

Hayley 20:15
Yeah, I have pretty bad acne. But also, I've never really like my period is like crazy spot on. Like, I know the day before it's gonna happen. It's crazy.

Scott Benner 20:29
Okay, so not heavy periods or anything like that.

Hayley 20:33
No, no, it's just normal. Interesting. But I also have like, such a high pain tolerance from the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. So I don't know. But I was like in four days of labor with my son. So

Scott Benner 20:47
wait, I don't understand thought I think was stretchy. It is.

Hayley 20:51
But I had to. I got preeclampsia. Oh, yeah. So he was born two months early.

Scott Benner 20:58
Really? Have you considered giving up?

Hayley 21:03
But it's so true. And that's the thing is it's like, yeah, I got preeclampsia. And like I literally was fighting it the whole time, like trying to make everything perfect. But I've always had like elevated blood pressures. So I didn't succeed. Is that

Scott Benner 21:17
your only child? The your son? Yes. Yeah, that experience may just stop or you just haven't had a chance to try again.

Hayley 21:25
I haven't had like successful.

Scott Benner 21:28
Oh, I say yeah, I gotcha. You're 28. Now? Yes. I did that math, just from the story you told. So people should be pretty freaking impressed.

Hayley 21:40
Well, I'm in person. I remember that correctly, then. Oh, wait,

Scott Benner 21:44
are you maybe you're not 28? I've talked you into believing you are? No, I

Hayley 21:47
am 28? Sure. Yes. But I couldn't remember for sure how long I had had diabetes and stuff. So it was like, ah,

Scott Benner 21:59
what makes you want to come on the podcast? Because

Hayley 22:01
I have all these experiences and stuff. And I had been through a lot. diabetes and everything else. I kind of just wanted to be another voice of, you know, I live in this chaos. And other people might live in it too. And to know that you're not alone, because I know for me for a long time. I felt very alone, because I didn't find out till I was like 21 diabetes, and I had to figure it out on my own.

Scott Benner 22:28
Your family was not helpful at that point. Or you didn't ask them to be

Hayley 22:33
I was moved out at that point. Oh, you had no idea what did how to deal with it. They just freaked out. So I didn't tell them anything.

Scott Benner 22:42
Sweet. So you were on your own 21 you go to college? Yeah,

Hayley 22:46
I did some college. I did. Like it's called Running Start. And it's like, you do college while you're still in high school. Okay. Yeah. So I took on like an 18 credit load, and then I still went to high school and another school. So yeah, I'm a little bit of a overachiever sometimes, or I like to punish myself.

Scott Benner 23:06
Did you finish college?

Hayley 23:07
I have two classes. Both math class, listen.

Scott Benner 23:12
I'm gonna help you a little bit. You can't call yourself an overachiever. And then tell me you still have two classes left to get through college when you're 20. It's because

Hayley 23:20
it's because I got so burnt out from trying to do everything.

Scott Benner 23:25
Okay, so tell me so then let's see. Like, I'd like to know about that. Tell me what happened?

Hayley 23:29
Well, again, I was doing like 18 credits of college. And then I was working, and I was going to high school. And then I also was doing culinary programs to where I went into like, state nationals. Okay. Yeah. So I just, I'm very good at overburdening myself.

Scott Benner 23:47
Is that the ADHD? When did you get that diagnosed, by the way?

Hayley 23:50
Just recently.

Scott Benner 23:52
Tell me what led you to find out that that was the case. Well,

Hayley 23:57
my sisters, my adopted sisters, they were talking to me and they're like, Hey, you should look into ADHD because you have a hard time with these kinds of things. And I was like, Well, okay. And my husband also has ADHD. So

Scott Benner 24:14
why did you giggle like that? You giggle a lot. And I don't know why you're giggling Well, what was so funny there?

Hayley 24:19
It's because it usually people who have ADHD, like, gravitate towards other people that have ADHD.

Scott Benner 24:27
So, okay, why do you think that is? Because

Hayley 24:30
we have the same kind of mindset and understand and can actually keep up with each other.

Scott Benner 24:35
So you follow him when he's kind of jumping around? Yes,

Hayley 24:39
I can keep up with him. But mostly, he can keep up with me because he's more of a quiet, more internalized ADHD brain. Okay, borrow more external.

Scott Benner 24:49
Tell me the difference, please.

Hayley 24:51
So internal would mean that like you have so many thoughts going at once, but you keep them inside and you're very analytical and you're tempted to details like crazy. Whereas nine, I can't keep it inside. And so I'm super talkative and bubbly. And like, jump at different squat like subjects really quickly and say, like squirrel. So it's really hard for me to keep it all in because not only do I have it, it sounds crazy, but you have multiple thoughts in your head. But then also, I can't keep it in my head, it has to be expressed out. And so people get really confused. Okay,

Scott Benner 25:29
so you're saying that you have, like, at any moment, you have two different thoughts going on in your head? Oh, probably more like six? And which one? Are you sharing? How do you decide which one to share with me?

Hayley 25:42
I don't know. I don't really decide it just kind of comes out like so I can't. When I'm talking to someone, you know, you grow up, you look in their eyes and stuff as a sign of respect. Okay, I cannot look at someone's eyes, I have to look or look around them and keep moving. Otherwise, I get distracted. And my thoughts like take over than if I'm actually listening to the person.

Scott Benner 26:05
Tell me why looking at someone I someone's eyes does that. Because

Hayley 26:09
my mind like, is like stop being interested at what it's looking at, like, looking at the eyes without actually like looking at other things around me. It makes my brain really distracted because it's bored with the situation. So it's like, let's think about this now.

Scott Benner 26:26
Okay, so if you're concentrating too hard on somebody, you're looking them in their eyes trying to really concentrate on them. Your mind wants to look around the room.

Hayley 26:33
Yes. And so more. It's more like it's bored. And so it thinks of something else that's internally in your head and then you go like on a tangent in your head.

Scott Benner 26:42
Okay. What if the people are really boring? Maybe it's not ADHD? Maybe you just know really boring people.

Hayley 26:48
Oh, it happens to everybody. So are you jumping

Scott Benner 26:52
around while we're talking? Because I don't find you. You think you are? Yeah, well, I

Hayley 26:58
didn't take my medication this morning. So yes.

Scott Benner 27:01
Just to be fun, or you forgot? No.

Hayley 27:03
Ah. Oh, no, I did. I forgot.

Scott Benner 27:07
The funniest thing you're gonna say the entire time we're talking in case anyone's wondering. I expect nothing funnier than this that have just happened. So you did take your medication today? Yes. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just laughing. It's hilarious. But I want to get back. Hold on. What's the giggling? Are you nervous when you giggle? No, I'm

Hayley 27:28
actually not really a nervous person. I really do. Like speaking like in front of people and doing podcasts and stuff. So like, I've done my own podcast.

Scott Benner 27:37
Okay. Is it wildly successful? Or maybe people are jaded by you? Should I get you off right now?

Hayley 27:44
No, it's just a couple of videos I did on one of my diabetes groups.

Scott Benner 27:47
Oh, are you calling that a podcast? Okay,

Hayley 27:50
I started the podcast doesn't mean that I actually finished it.

Scott Benner 27:53
Nobody does. Do you know, do you know there are 4 million registered podcasts?

Hayley 28:00
It sounds surprising. Yeah. Do

Scott Benner 28:01
you know how many are actually active? I don't know. Yeah, like 40,000 of them. Oh, wow. And active only means at least one episode a month?

Hayley 28:11
Yeah, no, I started doing it. And as many things when you get very common with ADHD, I got distracted and moved on to something else.

Scott Benner 28:20
So are there things in your life that you genuinely want to be doing? That you're not because you've been distracted away from them?

Hayley 28:29
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, it's like, again, going back to the hole that I have to overcome myself. So like, for me the school, like not finishing my college is really like, hard on me. Because I feel like I never finished it. It was a close. It didn't close the book. Do you need huh?

Scott Benner 28:48
Do you need the degree? Could you put it to use?

Hayley 28:50
Oh, yeah, but right now my husband's going to college. But when he's done then I'll go back and finish to

Scott Benner 28:56
How old is he?

Hayley 28:57
He's 28 as well. What?

Scott Benner 29:00
What's he going to college for?

Hayley 29:01
He's getting his BA and his MA in it and cybersecurity. So yeah, I

Scott Benner 29:09
know some kids go to school for that right now. They're nine years younger than your husband and probably a much more attractive hire, but tell him to hurry the hell up. Because he's gonna You're gonna want some money when he takes one of those jobs, you know, and those kids are gonna do it for free. Right? Yeah, cuz they're, they're living with their parents like little like leeches. They don't even need money. All unfair. Well, that's cool. Did he go back to school? Or did he just start later?

Hayley 29:36
So he only has like one or two classes to finish his associates. And he stopped around the same time I did, which is after we got married. How

Scott Benner 29:45
old were you? You got married? We were 24 So you guys both got married and then decided not to go to college anymore? No,

Hayley 29:54
I was trying to finish up my college before we got married. But then we moved to another City pretty far away, and then we just started working a ton. So it just wasn't feasible.

Scott Benner 30:05
I understand. I really don't you make that baby on purpose or no? Yeah, we did a plan. Thank you didn't get distracted in the middle of it decide not to do it. Probably. I'm sorry. Ah, she's not funny. You're just delightful. That's all. Oh, good. I love that. You don't know that you giggle a lot.

Hayley 30:30
You know, I think I've done it for a long time. And I think it's just for like, spaces when I don't have a thought. Then I fill it with that.

Scott Benner 30:38
No, I just what I'm trying to get out because you're making me feel hilarious. And I know I'm not. So like, you're just like you're laughing that you said something horrifying. I forget what it was and then laughed immediately afterwards. I was like, That was interesting.

Hayley 30:50
It's kind of it's kind of a coping mechanism to Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:53
So you just did it.

Hayley 30:54
I know, you're aware when you think about it?

Scott Benner 30:57
Well, no. Are you aware that it's happening or know when it happens? If

Hayley 31:01
not, like, right away, I don't notice that. It's if I look back at it, and I'm like, Oh, I did do that right thing. But that's like my life, and not realizing I do things until later on, like, Oh, I did do that.

Scott Benner 31:14
Because you ever tried not to do it? Like consciously not to giggle?

Hayley 31:18
Ah, no,

Scott Benner 31:20
let's do it. Can we do it? Can we try? No.

Hayley 31:24
It's a coping mechanism, as well as like, filling the space. And also, it's like, for me, I have a hard time expressing like, emotions and stuff, and being like the right point across. So if I laugh or giggle about something

Scott Benner 31:38
I don't understand, what do you mean, you have trouble? I don't have any trouble, like understanding your emotions that you've like, laid out for me so far. Why do you think you have trouble doing that?

Hayley 31:46
I've had that for a long time. But again, being on the medication helps.

Scott Benner 31:51
We really don't hold on a second, do me a favor, don't tell me it's just the thing that's always happened. Explain to me what it is. Like, what do you mean, you can't express your emotions?

Hayley 32:00
So are like I don't understand other people's emotions or reading the room? Well, okay. And so I will a lot of times speak thing and matter of factly. But then they're actually like really deep things. And then I really hardcore Empath, so then I feel it, someone else, like I never want them to feel that way. So I A lot of times will giggle at things in order to like lighten the mood. Because I can say things that are horrible, just a matter of fact thing. But then I get to the whole point of like, Oh, now they feel it.

Scott Benner 32:35
So you don't like it when other people feel the emotions of what you're saying? Yeah.

Hayley 32:40
Right. Because I don't like feeling it. And it's hard for me. So it's

Scott Benner 32:47
expected it'll be hard for them.

Hayley 32:49
I very much don't like people. Like, that's, that's why it took me forever to like go to therapy and stuff just because I don't want anybody to feel like the pain or anything that's going on with me. Because

Scott Benner 33:03
that's what I was masking. Like, are you really trying to protect them? Or are you protecting yourself from feeling badly about how they feel?

Hayley 33:09
So hard question, I think is a bit of both. But I think originally, it would have been the thought of protecting someone else from feeling my feelings. But I think it also is a coping mechanism protect myself. If I really look at it.

Scott Benner 33:23
Give trouble being close to your husband.

Hayley 33:26
I can Yeah. Especially like after we had our son, I had really really bad, like, postpartum depression. So it's been a lot of that I've worked through but kind of got really dark. You

Scott Benner 33:40
were you depressed? Like oh, yeah, like, I'm gonna throw the baby out the window depressed or where we're, you know,

Hayley 33:46
nothing like to him but to myself and like, just the burden of both the guilt of having my son so early. And that I couldn't make well my body to make it happen correctly.

Scott Benner 33:59
Okay. Okay. So when you try to be like, open with your husband, does it not work?

Hayley 34:05
He's very good about reading me. I'm not very good about expressing it. Because again, I don't I'm already feeling these heavy feelings. And I don't want anybody else to Yeah. So it's really hard for me to express those especially if I talk to him about like, kind of a more dark stuff. But don't want to know about those things. Kelly I

Scott Benner 34:28
don't normally ask people this but because of the the direction our conversations and I'm going to ask you What in God's name are you doing while we're talking?

Hayley 34:35
Oh, literally just sitting on a spinny chair and rolling around. Okay,

Scott Benner 34:39
like clicking and popping and like if you told me you were like popping the lid on like, the I don't know, like test strips. I would have believed you. But you're not rolling around. No, I'm

Hayley 34:53
just rolling around in a chair.

Scott Benner 34:54
Do you know futzing you know the word? Oh, yes. Yeah, like me. So my cord is uh, yeah, like touching the cord or tapping your glasses on the desk or something like that probably.

Hayley 35:05
Oh, yeah, probably because, yeah, because I'm very. Yeah, everything has moved.

Scott Benner 35:12
What is this medication supposedly doing for you?

Hayley 35:15
It helps. So I'm also on antidepressants. Okay, so I, they're both stimulants. So the depressants, releases happy stuff. But also

Scott Benner 35:29
you really, you really read that label.

Hayley 35:34
I don't remember the top of the head like right now what it is, but um, the other stuff ADHD meds works with your, the antidepressants to help your body release like dopamine and stuff. But it has a hard time releasing,

Scott Benner 35:50
okay. You went on the antidepressants after the birth of the baby. Is that right? Yeah,

Hayley 35:55
I I should have done it a long time ago. But again, been very much of like, not into medication. Until I'm literally forced into it.

Scott Benner 36:03
Tell me how you felt without the antidepressant?

Hayley 36:07
I guess I can go darker. But um, I I did a lot of cutting and self harm, and try to commit suicide, I think three times now. What ages? I'm just in the last couple of years.

Scott Benner 36:25
Can you tell me like vaguely what the the attempts were like?

Hayley 36:29
The first one was because I had recently gotten my insulin pump. And I was struggling with it. And it wasn't. It would keep failing and stuff. And I felt very, like I finally got this thing that I worked so hard for. I literally had to tell a doctor that yes, I needed. And I wasn't working and I was frustrated. And luckily it has a lock on it that you can't overdose yourself. Right? So that's what stopped it.

Scott Benner 36:58
So when you say you attempted to give yourself like too much insulin like, yeah, we can you look back was your real intention to hurt yourself? Or were you looking for someone to notice.

Hayley 37:11
I was definitely hurt myself because I again, don't share things. So I don't really want people to notice. And it was like super late at night, my husband was asleep. And I just tried to give myself a ton of insulin. But again, the alarms shut it off. Okay.

Scott Benner 37:31
Other times were within thought as well are different ways. Different

Hayley 37:34
ways. There was one more recently when I was at work, and one of my co workers kind of just betrayed me who was a friend, and I went into my truck and I was like about to write a suicide letter and stuff. Like I was just done. Luckily, I had therapy that day. So that really saved me. That's

Scott Benner 37:54
amazing. Hey, well, I don't you weren't trying to get rid of birder but I guess you did it. I can't use that now. Yeah, sorry. I didn't know this was gonna happen. All right, I will start over, I guess. Such a perfect title for a POC. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Ellie, I'll be alright. I don't want you to worry. You see a therapist or a psychiatrist.

Hayley 38:20
I see a therapist. I was seeing psychiatrists just to get diagnosed with ADHD. But now I just see my therapist who also has ADHD. So it works out really well. Or

Scott Benner 38:30
not depending on I don't know, I'm not there to judge it. But what if it doesn't? What if you guys, you're just telling yourself, it's going great. She's like,

Hayley 38:44
No, yeah. Yeah. It's mostly that he can keep up with my brain. So I don't have to explain myself all the time.

Scott Benner 38:51
I'm imagining it's going terribly. And he goes, Hey, this is going great. Don't you have to go? Yeah, then it's over. There's no way there's no one there to just check you and go, Hey, guys. I don't go well at all.

Hayley 39:03
We go on so many tangents of different topics,

Scott Benner 39:07
is what I'm worried about. It sounds like you guys are making a podcast for two people is what's going on?

Hayley 39:12
Well, the funny thing is, too, is he also plays d&d. So we'll talk we'll go on tangents about d&d as well. I think

Scott Benner 39:20
you need to find a better therapist, but that's neither here nor there. Like so. The reason I asked about this is because is there any chance there's something else going on? That's not seen? Is there a chance you could be bipolar or anything like that? So that's

Hayley 39:32
when I went to the psychologist and I they thought I might be bipolar as well. But then they ruled that out.

Unknown Speaker 39:40
How did they do that?

Hayley 39:43
I took some tests, like personality and how I deal with things and it was just rolled out that I when I have supposedly I don't have as enough like swings and personality. Also, I don't get stuck there super long. Okay.

Scott Benner 39:58
So That's interesting. I appreciate you sharing all this Haley seriously. No,

Hayley 40:02
it's so good. I'm, I'm kind of an open book when it comes to like just factual things like, I can turn my things on going through into facts. And then I can actually, like, share them. Yeah. But if I feel the emotion with it, I can't share it.

Scott Benner 40:15
Okay. I mean, I'm looking back again. And you talked about, like, postpartum depression in your notes, but I didn't realize that, like your depression led to like suicide attempts and stuff like that. So I, I was a little unprepared for the direction. But I'm okay. I'm okay. It's,

Hayley 40:35
I think I've been dealing with it for a long time, like ever since probably middle school. But I've again, been very much not wanting to go into medication or share my feelings or anything. And so the being diabetic really hit me hard. And then with my son, it hit me hard again. And so it kind of like pushed everything over.

Scott Benner 40:59
Yeah. When you contacted your birth family, did you ask about the depression?

Hayley 41:04
No, I try not to get into their drama. They're very dramatic. I know. Like my biological mom was only like, 17 when she had me and she was 16 when she had an older sister.

Scott Benner 41:20
Okay. Oh, do you know your sister? Yeah. He also adopted as she stayed with the biological mom.

Hayley 41:27
So I was the only one that was adopted out. And that's another sort of subject. But then I had one. So I had one, there's an older one, and then there's a younger one, like, She's three years younger than me. So yeah,

Scott Benner 41:43
sorry. No, I'm just trying to like, they just piece it all together. That's all. Because, you know, I think that the number of people that I talked to who have like, you know, mental health concerns, and other autoimmune issues, it's not, it's not a low number. You know what I mean? Like when people come on here, and they're like, hey, you know, I've suffered with depression or this or that. They often talk about, like, a lot of other autoimmune stuff. And I just wonder how much of that I don't like, please keep in mind, I'm an idiot. Okay. But like, it makes me it makes me think about like inflammation, and how it might be impacting things that people just never think about. Yeah,

Hayley 42:22
the only the other thing is to for me, I was also born two months early, but she forced it happening. And she was a druggie. Okay, so, so there's a lot of other things that are part of that too.

Scott Benner 42:38
Yeah. Also, what kind of drugs was she isn't the mom? Meth? Heroin? Yeah, that stuff can beat a quiet like depression too. Sometimes, like people are self medicating in ways.

Hayley 42:49
Well, she she was only, like, 16 when she was with her 26 year old boyfriend. Yeah,

Scott Benner 42:57
you're not describing a lot of stability there. Yeah. Right. So I'm just saying maybe she's got something going on as well. How about your sister? Does your sister have any of these issues?

Hayley 43:05
Um, the older one, she was into drugs. Her. Our biological father, like pretty much used her as like a drug meal, and would actually like pimp her out and stuff.

Scott Benner 43:17
Oh, my God. Wait, like sexually? Yeah. Oh, my God. Where the hell do you people live? I got to make a map of places. I'm not going Which one is this? You don't have to say. I was gonna say probably should. It's in the Midwest though. Right? Northwest? Oh, oh, in the rainy part. Yeah. It's hard to live. Yeah. You shouldn't live there. People shouldn't.

Hayley 43:41
Well, I was adopted from like, I again, my dad's a police officer and stuff. So I was adopted to a really good family. But

Scott Benner 43:47
your your birth mother and your adopted family are reasonably close, like in the same state? Yeah,

Hayley 43:53
we're all the same state. My mom actually my adoptive mom. She's my mom. She's been keeping tabs on them all, like through Facebook and stuff. So that if I ever wanted to reach out, then I it was very easy for me to write.

Scott Benner 44:08
Well, you know, earlier I said I'm adopted to and you laughed. I wasn't sure if you laugh because you thought I was going to hear you. Oh, yeah. Sorry. That's okay. Like I was like, I'm adopted too. And you like you laugh and I thought is this nervous laughter or is she laughing? Because she thinks I'm kidding about being adopted.

Hayley 44:27
I didn't hear you.

Scott Benner 44:29
I'm adopted to Haley.

Hayley 44:30
Well, that's good to know. So you understand some of that

Scott Benner 44:33
for me and I don't understand a lot of it to get a lot of that was pretty screwed up. But I understood. Yeah.

Hayley 44:38
Well, I didn't I didn't find out a lot of this until way later. So I like I was very much like, Oh, she was young. And that was so gracious of her to adopt me out to be have a better life. And then, like the things that I've found out with both her like, trying to enforce abortion because I was too far along. Yeah, so she like, tried to do it herself. Oh,

Scott Benner 44:58
with like a stick or what Do we do they're like pushing on her stomach. Oh, wow, what a scientist. Yeah, Jesus. Okay. Sorry. Okay, don't be sorry, Ellie, you're gonna be part of the new uncensored after dark episodes. Congratulations.

Hayley 45:15
I was trying like, I'm like, I don't really cost like anything. So

Scott Benner 45:20
this is good enough. You don't need the cost.

Hayley 45:24
Again, I like I do like it. I can share these things. It's more of a matter of fact. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:28
Yeah. If we sat down and tried to talk real real personally, you'd have trouble saying these things. Right.

Hayley 45:34
Oh, in the beginning, I would still keep it as like fact. But yeah, if I went in deeper, it would interest you. And I then Yeah, probably.

Scott Benner 45:41
Well, I mean, listen, it can't be easy to know that somebody tried to abort you. First of all, that's.

Hayley 45:47
That's a tough one. That's tough. That was yeah, that was hard. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:50
And even though it's got nothing to do with you, I still don't know how it doesn't make you have like, oh, geez, backfill terribly. Yeah. You know, well, then on

Hayley 45:59
top of that, with, like her having a kid that she kept after me, too.

Scott Benner 46:03
Yeah. You weren't good enough to keep but the other one was, yeah, right. Right. Which is how it feels probably not what happened, right? Yeah.

Hayley 46:10
Well,

Scott Benner 46:10
you know what I mean?

Hayley 46:11
Yeah, they were. So there's three of us that were from the same dad. And then there's one after that's another guy. So but my biological father had like, 16 kids before different women. So

Scott Benner 46:24
it was the super handsome.

Hayley 46:27
No, really,

Scott Benner 46:29
how does that happen? Haley?

Hayley 46:30
I don't know.

Scott Benner 46:34
Just is the drugs part, right? Because like, I'm trying to imagine talking for different women to let me have babies with them when they knew that they had babies with other people, too. Yeah.

Hayley 46:44
I guess he was kind of forceful. Like, at least my biological mom. Oh, wait,

Scott Benner 46:49
wait, sorry. This is not like a consensual thing. Like

Hayley 46:53
it was but like he she kept having kids because he wanted to have kids. And she wanted to get out of it.

Scott Benner 47:00
But it's not a lot of common sense going on a lot of the things that you're saying. That's No,

Hayley 47:04
it's not again. Yeah, it's chaos. It's

Scott Benner 47:08
upsetting to hear it. I mean, it's not. I'm not like shocked or anything like that. But you don't want to think that people are living in these circumstances.

Hayley 47:17
Right. Well, and the thing is to her, she left her parents because she want to be around her parents. But her mom has like hardcore bipolar. narcissistic. So oh, they Yeah. So that's where a lot of that's why when you said that about, like other things. She's been diagnosed with bipolar and narcissistic.

Scott Benner 47:41
Okay, and this is who told me this is your mom's mom?

Hayley 47:45
Yeah. Someone by my biological grandmother. Yeah.

Scott Benner 47:49
Your parents know about all this? Yeah. Yeah.

Hayley 47:52
I've shared everything with them. This is

Scott Benner 47:55
stuff you found out. It's not stuff they found out. Right. Correct. Yeah, that's tough for them to hear to. Do they adopt other kids or just you?

Hayley 48:02
Um, yeah. So I have a younger sister that's also adopted from a different family. That's nice. Lovely. Yeah. And they had like, 10 foster kids and stuff. Well, no kidding. Yeah, they only have one biological.

Scott Benner 48:14
Oh, my God, they have a biological child. They fostered like 10 kids, and they adopted two kids. Yeah. She trying to like get to heaven or something. What's going on there?

Hayley 48:25
Well, um, so they had my older sister, and then years, they were trying and she kept having issues and miscarriages and stuff. And then in the meantime, they just foster kids, because they could they were able to provide that. And then, yeah, and then she, they adopted me, and then four years later that my younger sister

Scott Benner 48:45
seemed like lovely people. That's very nice. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Alright, so hold on. How do you met every once in a while? I think this podcast is about diabetes, you should ask the diabetes question. To me sometimes, I'm like, but how like with this, like, all this that you're describing, like, how are you with your type one? Are you kind of hands on like on top of it? Is your agency where you hoped it to be? Is it something you struggle with? How does that all go?

Hayley 49:16
So right now it's not super great? Because it's like for me, it's really hard to manage multiple illnesses at once. And so it's been kind of put on the backburner when I've been trying to figure out all this other stuff, like I still like in a minute okay, range but not like where I should be.

Scott Benner 49:33
He told me What's okay, right. Like,

Hayley 49:36
I'm consistently in between, like 140 and 180.

Scott Benner 49:46
What's stopping you from doing what you want to do? Just

Hayley 49:48
trying to figure out with mental health and then now this whole thing with ADHD diagnosis and then the researching into the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and then we're Getting 60 hour weeks. It's just yeah, it's been a lot. And being a mom, but luckily like my husband's a stay at home dad. Well, he's, he works two jobs too. And the school. That's all online.

Scott Benner 50:14
You guys seem busy.

Hayley 50:16
Yeah, we're prone to kind of showing your schedules probably when we get along so well,

Scott Benner 50:20
I had a pretty chill, I had a pretty chill day. I got up a little late. So here, here's where I'm at. My wife has to travel for business, right, so she left last evening. And then I spent that last night by myself as a little lonely, I have to admit, but that's fine. I lived through it. And then I slept a little later this morning, because I didn't have to get up because you and I were recording at night and I had a lot of like work to do. But I was like, I'm going to sleep a little extra tight up like 10 o'clock, like a king. You know what I mean? And I rolled out of bed and I was like, I'm gonna take care of the dogs get a shower and have something to eat. I didn't even start my day till like one o'clock today. I was like, This is how ballers live. Except there were no like, you know, there were no like scantily clad girls running around or anything like that, or cocaine or not really a baller lifestyle at all. But I just started a little later today. And I got a bunch of work done this afternoon. And then I'm recording with you. I had a turkey sandwich in there somewhere. And, and now I'm after you, I'm going to work more and watch a football game. So yeah, but it's a pretty slow day for me. Usually, I'm up earlier working, like the whole day. It just I was like, let me just let me see what would happen. Like if I live by myself, how would it go? It turns out it would go pretty easy. I would take it pretty easy on myself. But he's got two jobs. And he's taken. And it's school from him. So are the jobs from home as well?

Hayley 51:45
Yeah. So he does one job that for his old job that he had before he went to school. He does their like routing so that he works for a FedEx contractor. So he kind of dictates where everybody's going based on the package load. Interesting. And yeah, so that's what his job is for that. So that's not a ton of hours. But it's a couple hours at night. And then he just started doing a job as they're in it for our church for like their social media and was called anything to do with social media and like, making slides and stuff. So does that

Scott Benner 52:24
making content for them? Yeah, very nice. And that is to watch in the hold yourself at this point.

Hayley 52:31
He just turned to Oh,

Scott Benner 52:33
that's a wonderful age. Have you? Do you worry about diabetes for him? Is that something that's in your head? Or

Hayley 52:39
my son? You know, that's why it took forever for us to like, even get pregnant is because I really was just like I was all down to her adopting. And I because I just didn't want to pass it on to him. Yeah. But, you know, I had a friend of mine who's also diabetic, she said that, even if it happens, you are the best well equipped person to take, like to take care of him and to help him. So I just

Scott Benner 53:09
felt better about it. Okay, that's excellent. The medication you take for your ADHD. Like, what happens if you don't take it?

Hayley 53:16
I get super Spacey. And like, so this is me being bubbly for Ahmed's legend 10 times worse.

Scott Benner 53:25
So without the meds you'd like this would be multiplied for like the kind of jumping around and the giggling and stuff like that. Yeah,

Hayley 53:32
absolutely. Okay. I also I can't concentrate. So like I take most of my medication because of my job that I do. Because I have to be super detail oriented and super, like not distracted. I even I even wear headphones that are for like, their their earplugs but you can still hear out of them. They're just supposed to cancel out outside noise. I wear those so I can not get distracted.

Scott Benner 53:54
Okay. Okay, because any little sound might pull you away, even when you're on and what medication is that? I'm sorry.

Hayley 54:02
I have like eight different medications. You prophy on I think that's

Scott Benner 54:06
for the ADHD. Yeah, it's basically speed, right? It speeds you up, which somehow slows you down. So

Hayley 54:13
I am on a stimulant, whereas what you're thinking of is like, some of the harder stuff that's more of like adding to your body. Yeah, like Adderall? Yeah, Adderall is more of an adding to your body. Whereas what I take help stimulate my brain to produce what it needs to produce. That's kind of interesting. Okay. Yeah, it sounds like one of my friends. He just got on Adderall. Because he found out he has ADHD and his wife was like, Oh, I might have some tendencies at that. I wonder what would happen and so she tried one like to see if I would do anything for her which I don't know why she did that. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 54:52
think you're supposed to but but okay, God, I'm gonna say no, yeah,

Hayley 54:54
she said she like pretty much turned to having like ADHD The brain and was like, how do you live this way?

Scott Benner 55:02
Oh, it actually she doesn't have ADHD. So it sped her up. And she got like, yeah, yeah.

Hayley 55:09
Yeah. And she couldn't call the trade. She had so many thoughts of like different directions and stuff. And she's like, I don't know how you guys live this way. Yeah,

Scott Benner 55:16
I mean, listen, everybody I've ever spoken to who has it, it sounds a little torturous to me. You know. And that's even for people who just talk about lightly. It's,

Hayley 55:25
it's kind of like, if you have your computer open, and you have 100 different tabs open, and you're using all of them at once. Yeah, I have a T shirt that says, My life is like, there's 100 tabs open. There's a video playing and I don't have any idea where the music's playing. And, and you know, that's, that's my life. Yeah.

Scott Benner 55:44
Can't find which tab is making the light. Come on. Why? Stop? Yeah, that's an interesting description, actually, isn't it? But it's

Hayley 55:51
a very good description. Yeah. That's

Scott Benner 55:53
really something. Wow. Okay. Do your, your parents that raised you? Did they ever talk about this when you were younger? Or were you just like, did they just think you were annoying?

Hayley 56:05
No, but no. So I've always had like, learning struggles. And I think it's partly due to ADHD. I'm pretty sure. If I really delve into I'd probably have autism too. They kind of go hand in hand. But I've always struggled with learning. And so my mom, most of my mom, because my dad's a sheriff's officer, so he worked a lot. But um, oh, so kind of ironic. Sorry, squirrel. My dad's not only ensures officer, he's a firefighter and an EMT. So I wonder where I get my work ethic from?

Scott Benner 56:38
I saw a black squirrel today. You stuck on squirrel? No, you said it. I was like, Oh my God, how did you possibly use the word squirrel? In a day when I've only spoken to two people and I saw a black squirrel today. And if I don't say this here, no one's ever going to know what happened. So I had to say it out loud. Did you know there are black squirrels? Yes, there are black squirrels. Yes. You don't see them very frequently at all. No. It was like, right out. I was I went to get the mail. And he was like, right across the street from me. I was like, I was on the phone with somebody. I don't want to brag, but I was on the phone with Pietro who is that? He's the first guy to ever get like a like the, like that jumbo pilot's license with type one. You don't I mean, like he really? Yeah, I was talking to him about his blood sugar. I'm sorry for telling people his business. And I was like, ah, there's a black squirrel in front of me. And then we talked about it for a while and I thought I'll never speak about this again. And then you said squirrel just some hours later. So now we can call the episode black squirrel. And we're all set. Yeah. I mean, right. tie it all together. Yeah. I mean, I have to do something. Because yeah, cuz I just, I'm not gonna lie to you. It was the suicide attempts that got me off a burger. But in my heart, that's what this episode is called. And so just so you know, that between you and me if anybody if people ever like you know, that episode is the after dark with Haley. I'll be like, Oh, that was gonna be burger or Bulaga. Yeah, black scruff. I know which one you mean. So anyway, don't feel bad. Seriously. Do you have any depression now? Oh, yeah. Sorry. You were like, Oh, hell yeah.

Hayley 58:14
Yeah, no, if I'm off my meds like you for like two days, I go back to like, trying to cut myself and everything else.

Scott Benner 58:21
The medications keeping the cutting away? Yes, for

Hayley 58:25
the most part unless it unless it like it's, it's pretty much so the medication does for me is that it softens everything. So it's not as hard of a blow. Like if something happens that I can actually like, kind of pull myself back and process it rather than being in it. So if I'm not on the medication, then I can't process it. And then it just concerns me and then then I go into dangerous directions.

Scott Benner 58:52
But with the medication. It doesn't happen.

Hayley 58:54
Yeah, not as much. It takes a while like you'd see something really big to get past it. Okay. medications.

Scott Benner 59:01
Name something that's overwhelmed the medication and made you feel depressed.

Hayley 59:05
Oh, like when my friend from work?

Scott Benner 59:09
Oh, they double cross you.

Hayley 59:11
Yeah, backstabbing. Only that but I found out she was spreading rumors about me for like six months.

Scott Benner 59:17
Oh my gosh. Yeah. And that was enough to make you obviously feel that way even though the medication was happening. Correct. How long so then you go out to your truck, you don't obviously kill yourself. So how long until you don't feel that way anymore?

Hayley 59:31
I think I did cut myself I was in the truck. And I was feeling very, like, considering how my son would life would be without me here. And debating start writing a suicide note and stuff like it was pretty dark. Yeah. And then I went back to work and like I'm just gonna get back to work. I have like, a good like four more hours at work. And I go straight from work to

Scott Benner 59:54
therapy. Therapy. Yeah. So and then you were able to work it out there. Yeah, interesting. What kind of truck I'm just kidding. I don't know why that would matter. Although for some reason I feel like it does. But I don't tell tell me I don't want people to know what kind of car yeah, like, you know, is it an SUV or a pickup? It's

Hayley 1:00:15
a pickup okay.

Scott Benner 1:00:16
I'm fine with it. Yeah,

Hayley 1:00:17
I tried to older Ford's Oh, is

Scott Benner 1:00:19
it a two door?

Hayley 1:00:21
My first one was a two door that I fixed up and like I actually sold for more money that I spent on it. But my, the one I have now is a four door.

Scott Benner 1:00:31
Okay, interesting. I love a pickup truck. I was thinking to get one. I don't know what I put on it.

Hayley 1:00:38
I was gonna keep my older truck but with it only having a bench seat. I didn't feel good about putting Percy did not

Scott Benner 1:00:45
it's probably a smart move. Yeah, I cried. I every time I'm doing something, I'm like, I really need like a truck. And then when I think I should get a truck, I think what would I do with the truck? I'm getting old. Like it would have been more helpful when I was younger. I think

Hayley 1:01:03
I had a Malibu, little Malibu and I was able to fit a catering event for like 200 people in it for the

Scott Benner 1:01:11
butcher, my Carlos put a bush in my car one time.

Hayley 1:01:18
You know, you figure out how to do it. Not always the best way.

Scott Benner 1:01:26
Guys, like do you want to deliver that? And I'm like, I don't want to pay you to drive that across the street.

Hayley 1:01:31
You know, it just teaches you to be resourceful. And how to play Jenga.

Scott Benner 1:01:38
Yeah, there was a car Bush one time. It's okay. It's like one of those situations where if you're at a stoplight, and you know like people are looking and they're like it's a bush that guy's car. And and you think I really hope no one knows me like sees me.

Hayley 1:01:52
Oh speaking or something like that. My there was one time when I went to grab a white birds and I was going to someone else's house with them to do the deed. And so yeah, so I had like eight roosters, five geese, a bunch of pheasants, quail. And what else do I have some ducks on the back of my truck. I had like 10 turkeys. So they're all in the back of my truck. And I had opened the vents so you could hear all the animals and so stop by somewhere and like you hear the roosters crowing and stuff.

Scott Benner 1:02:27
I don't know why you're laughing It's fantastic. I'm laughing

Hayley 1:02:30
because it was so funny about your whole like, Oh, I just had a tree in the back. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:02:35
there's a bush. But yeah, I hear what you're saying. And the my Bush didn't make any noise. I don't do people have noisy bushes. I guess you could get a noisy blush. Right? You

Hayley 1:02:44
could have like the you know, like the Christmas time thing where you put and it's like, gosh, I can't remember what his name is. But you put the animatronic thing, like in your Christmas tree and it talks.

Scott Benner 1:02:55
Oh, what? Like not the fish? Right? Yeah.

Hayley 1:03:00
The actual thing for your Christmas tree? It's

Scott Benner 1:03:02
like the face of a tree and and talks in the tree? Yeah, yes. I oddly, I've seen that. Okay. I guess a bush could talk. Yeah, talking bush. Who knows? But we've gotten pretty far from the subject at this point, Haley, I'm not gonna lie to you, sir. Anything? Is there anything else we haven't talked about that we should have? What else was on your list that we haven't gotten to? I don't even remember my list. It's been so long. No way. You're gonna remember this list. I'm looking here. It says what are some of the things you hope to recover in Europe? So being diagnosed in my 20s misdiagnosis? Type Two, and we've got those diabetes in pregnancy? We haven't talked about that postpartum. Yes. relationship with your child while having issues not really. And adopted. Okay, so what about your relationship with your child? And your issues? You were you talking about, like more of the mental health stuff? Yeah,

Hayley 1:03:55
a lot of the mental health stuff. It's gotten a lot better than it used to, but I was very much like, I felt that I was inadequate. Okay, and that I had to, I wasn't blaming him. I blamed myself. For all that happened. With like being because I was 21 weeks when I went into the hospital no, 27 weeks, 27 weeks when I went into the hospital, and I was there for two weeks. And then he was born at 20 or 32 weeks. So and for four days of that was labor. So So for me, it just it felt like I failed in that in that whole thing was me having to do everything besides myself. Like in spite of myself. So it felt more of like I failed. I didn't I didn't get past my own body to tell it what to do and make it happen.

Scott Benner 1:04:50
Hey, so just not not the baby not making it to nine months felt like a failure. Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Hayley 1:04:56
Well, because like I saw when I was pregnant with my son, I got my agency down to an eight. But that's as far as I can get it to go without like causing stress and really causing more issues. So I just kept it at that. And honestly, it was he was pretty healthy. But like he was four pounds, nine ounces at two months early. So he's pretty big.

Scott Benner 1:05:19
Yeah, so he was getting bigger. And you just, there's a lot going on there at the pre account clamp co2. Yeah. So So you couldn't keep your your blood sugar lower and more stable because of your own anxiety. You couldn't take your medication because you were pregnant. Is that right? Well,

Hayley 1:05:35
I wasn't I was on that anxiety medication, because they were noticing that when I go to doctor, I would have this spike in blood pressure, because I'm white coat syndrome and being super anxious about

Scott Benner 1:05:46
it all. So you were able to be on that medication during the pregnancy. Yeah, it

Hayley 1:05:50
didn't really work. But

Scott Benner 1:05:54
he told me three things that are going well for you right now, please.

Hayley 1:05:58
Oh, that's a hard. Like, that sounds really terrible. But it's a hard question. Is it? Yeah. One thing. I got an attaboy at work last week.

Scott Benner 1:06:09
My turkey sandwich was rock solid today. Like it was I smoked the turkey breast and then I cut it up and I put it on a nice piece of fresh sourdough and I had it for lunch. And it was good luck. A lot of you. Honestly, if you ask me what went right today? I'd say that sandwich. I don't have another answer.

Hayley 1:06:29
Well, you've honestly bed. Well, yeah, but

Scott Benner 1:06:31
I'm saying Don't say that your thing is that bad. Like getting a like an attaboy at work is pretty good. You know?

Hayley 1:06:37
Well, yeah. And I've been on the hot seat and my job because of being easily distracted. So

Scott Benner 1:06:43
oh, they're they're telling you like, pull it together? Or you're not gonna work here? Yeah. Yeah, kind of work is that you have to tell me where it is. But like about what do you do?

Hayley 1:06:52
Yeah, so it's a medical supply manufacturer. And I work in the shipping and receiving department. So it's the parts that go into machines that you'll see like at labs,

Scott Benner 1:07:01
okay, you've been sending the wrong parts to the wrong places,

Hayley 1:07:04
quantities or quality issues or whatever, whatever they

Scott Benner 1:07:08
ask for to you set them 15. So

Hayley 1:07:10
I found out later on that I can't like, count. Normally, I have to count with my hands. So like, I have to feel the pieces leading my hand in order to get an accurate count. Okay. So because it's for me, the more senses I use. So like hearing, hearing the piece drop in the cup, and holding it and letting it go. And using my eyes to see it. It's I'm usually more successful with actually getting it accurate.

Scott Benner 1:07:36
Interesting. Yeah.

Hayley 1:07:39
Yeah. So the more senses you use, the more likely you're gonna actually get accuracy. If

Scott Benner 1:07:44
you just throw one in and make a mark on a piece of paper like 1234, then slash for five and keep doing it. No, no, no, that wouldn't work. You would not remember to make the slash

Hayley 1:07:53
I would get distracted and then forget what number was on. Or I would like did I put it into in the cup?

Scott Benner 1:07:59
And that would be the end of it.

Hayley 1:08:00
How about them? Yeah, that would have to restart over. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:03
Is there some company right now like holding on to like five really expensive parts? And you were only supposed to send them to and they're just giggling and they're like, I can't believe this is we're so lucky. No,

Hayley 1:08:12
it was mostly what I do now is actually the receiving department. Okay, so I receive in like materials and stuff so they can use it to make the parts. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 1:08:22
Well, I hope that goes well. It sounds like it's going better. I hope that continues like that. Yeah,

Hayley 1:08:27
now that I'm on medication, and actually able to figure out what more were my shortcomings and able to fix them? It's much better. It's

Scott Benner 1:08:35
really interesting. How do you figure that out? Like, are you stuck waiting for someone to tell you?

Hayley 1:08:41
So yeah, so are you mean, like on the end? Like, if I make a mistake there? No,

Scott Benner 1:08:45
I mean, like bigger, like, if you have something going on? I would imagine doesn't feel like that to you. So like, yeah, you know, I'm saying like, how do you know you have ADHD or something like that?

Hayley 1:08:55
Well, I had, because again, I never wanted myself to slow myself down. I would just figure out things in order to make it work. So I'd actually be able to succeed. So a lot of the things like other tools and stuff, they say, like oh, these help you with ADHD. I've already been dealing with them for so long. Because I'm made it up trying to make it work for me.

Scott Benner 1:09:18
I gotcha. Okay, guys. So if you needed somebody to come along and say to you like, Hey, do you know that you are blank? Blank blank, and you go, No, I didn't know that. But now that I know, thank you. Yeah, yeah, it or if it's, you have a trouble with something and you can kind of start seeing it yourself? Well,

Hayley 1:09:35
I guess for me, it's more that I've already found ways to make it work. So I don't notice it myself until someone else like my little sister brought it up to me and said, Hey, you're having these issues. This looks sounds like this. You can do it.

Scott Benner 1:09:49
And that's how you figure that out. Yeah,

Hayley 1:09:51
I said for the most part for me, I just figured out how to deal with it. Wow, that's really interesting.

Scott Benner 1:09:57
I appreciate you sharing all this with me. I really do and it's very A nice way to go out of your comfort zone to talk about this stuff being serious, and

Hayley 1:10:04
I've turned it into a fax thing rather than an emotional thing. So

Scott Benner 1:10:08
if and if I tried to make you like I purposely didn't ask you to dig into your emotions, would it have like, put you into a bad way? Oh, no, because I'm still keeping fax, you wouldn't be able to do it.

Hayley 1:10:19
No, it would literally just because it's the whole paralyzing for me to have someone else feel the feelings that paralyze me. But what

Scott Benner 1:10:26
if we, what if we got into an I started crying? What would happen to you then? Oh,

Hayley 1:10:31
I would turn into like trying to show you the positive side of everything. Oh.

Scott Benner 1:10:38
But you wouldn't be able to see it for yourself. Because we'd be talking about you. If you were telling me the positive side. Yeah. So

Hayley 1:10:43
I wouldn't be able to, like, if you were sharing something I would always like it would automatically I would share something about me and say as a fact of like, I also felt this or something like that. So I'm very much of like, I turn off my own emotions, and my own pain in order to make someone else feel better. What

Scott Benner 1:11:03
happens? But what happens if you experience the emotions? But what if we weren't on your way? Here? You're completely by yourself and you're experiencing them? How do you feel then?

Hayley 1:11:11
Oh, I let it all out. It's like a bottle cap that comes off.

Scott Benner 1:11:15
I just kind of explode. Yeah, do you feel better after that?

Hayley 1:11:19
Depends, either I'll feel better about it. Or I'll go in a deeper depression, because I'm actually forced to think about it. I see. So it's easier for me to just not think about it and move on. I'm very much a person that like, oh, that's inconvenient. But I have things to do. Hence why I also add so much to my work. And everything is because it's easier for me to fill up my time with work and projects or volunteering things or whatever. In order to not feel.

Scott Benner 1:11:47
I say, Wow, I appreciate you sharing all this. I don't I don't honestly know where else to go from here. But it's been really interesting. And I feel like educational i i feel like i've heard bits and pieces of this from other people in the past, but your story is obviously different than theirs. And, again, makes me feel like I heard something new today, which I really appreciate.

Hayley 1:12:10
Oh, good. I like to share, again, like that was part of my whole reason of going on the podcast is sharing what I've experienced and being able to kind of put it in a personal level of understanding. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:24
no, no, I mean, we didn't start off like, I didn't start off understanding all this about you. So like, I thought we got through it pretty, like, you know, quickly to the part where you were like, This is all of my story, you know? Yeah. You know, were you not planning on doing that? Or were you waiting for me to find it.

Hayley 1:12:40
I don't ever plan anything. So it just kind of comes out.

Scott Benner 1:12:44
You hadn't thought about it previously, like when you're getting ready to do this, you hadn't thought to yourself, like Oh, I hope this doesn't come up. Or

Hayley 1:12:50
I knew there was things that I wanted to like talk about, like the whole diabetes and pregnancy. And then also, like, the difficulties of getting diagnosed later on in life when you don't have your family to kind of help you out. And also the adoption and everything and having the uncertainties of like, what else do can I have? Because I have no idea what my background is,

Scott Benner 1:13:12
ya know, it's something else. Okay. I'm gonna stay. Thank you. I think this has been terrific. I really do appreciate your time. Yeah, no, I appreciate it very much. I'm gonna hang up with well, you're gonna stay on for me because I'm gonna ask you more about where you live, because I want to know, but the other people they don't get to hear that's not their business. A huge thanks to the contour next gen blood glucose meter. We're sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, learn more and get started today at contour next one.com/juicebox. Mark is an incredible example of what so many experience living with diabetes, you show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes to find you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong, and together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community or to share your own story, visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox. Don't forget, we still have marks conversation at the very end. It's a terrific kind of mini episode about 10 minutes long. That goes deeper into some of the things that you heard Mark talking about earlier in the show. You have questions? Scott and Jenny have answers. There are now 19 ask Scott and Jenny episodes. That's where Jenny Smith and I answer questions from the audience. If you'd like to see a list of them, go to juicebox podcast.com up into the menu and click on Ask Scott and Jenny. And now my full conversation with Medtronic champion, Mark. Mark. How old were you when you were diagnosed with type one diabetes? I was 2828 How old are you now? 4747. So just about 20 years.

David 1:14:57
Yeah, 19 years.

Scott Benner 1:14:59
What was your management Is that when you were diagnosed?

David 1:15:01
I use injections for about six months. And then my endocrinologist at a navy recommended a pump. How

Scott Benner 1:15:07
long had you been in the Navy? See eight years up to that point? Eight years? Yeah. I've interviewed a number of people who have been diagnosed during service. And most of the time they're discharged. What happened to you?

David 1:15:19
I was medically discharged. Yeah, six months after my diagnosis. I

Scott Benner 1:15:22
don't understand the whole system. Is that like, honorable?

David 1:15:25
Yeah. I mean, essentially, if you get a medical discharge, you get a commensurate honorable discharge. I guess there could be cases where something other than that, but that's that's really how it happens. So it's an honorably discharged with but because of medical

Scott Benner 1:15:37
reason, and that still gives you access to the VA for the rest of your life. Right?

David 1:15:41
Correct. Yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 1:15:42
Do you use the VA for your management? Yeah, I

David 1:15:44
used to up until a few years ago, when we moved to North Carolina, it just became untenable, just rigamarole and process to kind of get all the things I needed. You know, for diabetes management, it was far easier just to go through a private practice. Was

Scott Benner 1:15:57
it your goal to stay in the Navy for your whole life, your career? It was? Yeah,

David 1:16:02
yeah. In fact, I think a few months before my diagnosis, my wife and I had that discussion about, you know, staying in for the long term. And, you know, we made the decision despite all the hardships and time away from home, that was what we loved the most. So that's what made it that much more difficult

Scott Benner 1:16:17
was the Navy, like a lifetime goal of yours or something you came to as an adult,

David 1:16:22
lifetime goal. I mean, as my earliest childhood memories were flying being a fighter pilot and specifically being flying on and off aircraft carriers. So you know, watching Top Gun in the ad, certainly a weight was a catalyst for

Scott Benner 1:16:36
that you've taken off and landed a jet on an aircraft carrier,

David 1:16:39
hundreds of times.

Scott Benner 1:16:40
Is there anything in life as exhilarating as that? No,

David 1:16:43
but there there's a roller coaster I rode at. I think it was at Cedar Rapids up in Cleveland Sandusky, and they've got this roller coaster rotation from zero to like, it's like 80 or something, you go up a big hill and you come right back down. So the acceleration is pretty similar. I would say to catapult shot,

Scott Benner 1:17:02
I'm gonna guess you own a Tesla.

David 1:17:04
I don't I I'm a boring guy. I got a hybrid rav4 I get made fun of I get called. You know, my wife says I drive like a grandpa. I'm a five miles per hour over the speed limit person. No more than that. So yeah, in the car. I'm boring Scott. So

Scott Benner 1:17:19
you've never felt a need to try to replace that with something else.

David 1:17:22
You can't replace it. It's irreplaceable. That's what I thought. So up until the point where someone you know, buys me an F 18. Or allows me to get inside a two seater and fly it you can't replace it? How

Scott Benner 1:17:33
did it make you feel when you saw or maybe you haven't seen? gentleman named Pietro has his large aircraft license. He's flying for a major carrier. Now he has type one diabetes. Does that feel hopeful to you? Yeah,

David 1:17:44
it does. You know, when I when I was diagnosed, that wasn't a possibility. The FAA prohibited commercial pilots who had type one diabetes, but I think it was 2017 when they changed their rules to allow type one diabetics to be commercial pilots. And part of the reason I did that was because of the technology advancements, specifically in pump therapy, and pump management. So I don't have any aspirations of going to the commercial airlines. But one of my sons who has type one diabetes very much wants to be a commercial pilot. So, you know, in that respect, I'm very hopeful and thankful.

Scott Benner 1:18:16
Do you fly privately now for pleasure? I

David 1:18:20
do. Yeah. One of my favorite things to do is fly my kids to the different soccer tournaments I have all over the southeast us so last week, my wife and I and two of our boys flipped to Richmond for their soccer tournaments up there and Charlie who's my middle child has type one diabetes, so you know if I can combine flying family and football and one weekend to me that's I think I've just achieved Valhalla.

Scott Benner 1:18:42
So then it sounds to me like this diagnosis was a significant course correction for you. Can you tell me how it affected your dream?

David 1:18:49
Well, I you know, if I guess three words come to mind first, it was devastating. Everything I had done in life, everything I'd worked up to up to that point was just taken away in an instant. And I was not prepared for that at all. The second emotion was, it was scary. I hadn't thought much about life outside the Navy, certainly not life as anything else, but a fighter pilot. And Heather and I were getting ready to move to France, I was going to do an exchange tour with with the French naval air force. So we're taking French classes. So pretty quickly, I had to reinvent myself. And then probably the most important thing at the same time that all that was going on, I had to learn how to how to deal with type one diabetes and how to manage it effectively. The third thing that pops into my mind, I guess, is challenging, you know, new daily routines. I had to establish first with injections and then eventually, you know, through pump management, and then learning how to count carbs and recognize highs and lows, how my body reacts to blood sugar trends based on exercise and stress and those types of things. And my goal at that time, and it still is today is to leverage technology and make sure my habit patterns are effective so that I take diabetes management from the forefront to the background.

Scott Benner 1:19:56
Have you had success with that? Do you feel like you've made the trip? position? Well, I

David 1:20:01
have I mean, I believe in continuous improvements. So there's always more to do. I will say the technology since I was diagnosed specifically with pump management, it's just, it's just incredible. It takes less of me intervening, and it's really done by the pump itself and by the algorithms through the CGM s, and to me again, that that should be the goal for everybody is to not have to focus so much on the daily aspects of type one, diabetes management, you know, we should let technology do that for us. What

Scott Benner 1:20:30
else have you found valuable? I've spoken to 1000s of people with type one diabetes, the one thing that took me by surprise, because I don't have type one, myself, and my daughter was very young when she was diagnosed. I didn't really understand until I launched this podcast, and then it grew into this kind of big Facebook presence. I heard people say, I don't know anybody else who has type one diabetes, I wish I knew more people. But until I saw them come together, I didn't recognize how important it was. Yeah,

David 1:20:59
I think similarly, I didn't know anyone with type one diabetes growing up as an adult up until when I was diagnosed. And then all of a sudden, people just came out of the woodwork, and when CGM first hit the market, certainly within the last five years. It's amazing to me and my family, how many people we've noticed with type one diabetes simply because you can see the CGM on their arm. I mean, I would say, a month does not go by where we don't run into someone at a restaurant or an amusement park or a sporting event or somewhere where we see somebody else with type one diabetes. And the other surprising aspect of that is just how quickly you make friends. And I'll give an example. We're at a soccer tournament up in Raleigh, this past Saturday and Sunday. And the referee came over to my son Charlie at the end of the game and said, Hey, I noticed you're wearing pomp. And he lifted up a shirt and showed his pump as well and said, I've had type one diabetes since I was nine years old. I played soccer in college, I'm sure that's your aspiration. And I just want to tell you, don't let type one diabetes ever stop you from achieving your dreams of what you want to do. And it's the other man was probably in his late 50s, or 60s. So just having that connection and seeing, you know, the outreach and people's willingness to share their experiences. It just means the world to us and just makes us feel like we're part of a strong community. So

Scott Benner 1:22:19
would you say that the most important things are strong technology tools, understanding how to manage yourself and a connection to others.

David 1:22:28
Yeah, technology for sure, in knowing how to leverage it. And then the community in that community is your friends, your family, caregivers, you know, for me to Medtronic, champions, community, you know, all those resources that are out there to, you know, help guide away, but then help help you keep abreast on you know, the new things that are coming down the pipe, and to give you hope for eventually, you know, that we can find a cure. You

Scott Benner 1:22:50
mentioned that your son wanted to be a pilot, he also has type one diabetes, how old was he when he was diagnosed.

David 1:22:55
So Henry was diagnosed when he was 12 years old, was just at the start of COVID, we are actually visiting my in laws in Tennessee, we woke up in the morning and he had his bed. And several years before that, we had all four of our boys tested for TrialNet. So you know predictor of whether or not they're going to develop type one diabetes, and whether or Henry and one of his brothers tested positive for a lot of the indicators. So we always kind of had an inclination that there was a high degree of possibility he would develop it. But we always had at the back of our mind as well. And so when that event happened, at the beginning of COVID, we had him take his blood sugar on my glucometer. And it was over 400. And so right away, we knew that without even being diagnosed properly, by endocrinologist that he was a type one diabetic, so we hurried home, to get him properly diagnosed in Charlottesville. And then we just started the process first grieving, but then acceptance and, you know, his eventual, becoming part of the team that nobody wants to join.

Scott Benner 1:23:58
How old is he now?

David 1:23:59
He's 15 years old. Now,

Scott Benner 1:24:01
when's the first time he came to you? And said, Is this going to stop me from flying

David 1:24:07
almost immediately. So like me, he's he always had aspirations of flying. In fact, he out of all four boys wanted to be in the military, that was a difficult part of the conversation and maybe something that we don't talk about as a community. But there are some things you cannot do as a type one diabetic, and that's a hard fact of life. And unfortunately, joining the military is one of those hard and fast things you cannot be you cannot join the military as a type one diabetic. So it was very difficult for him and for me and my wife to get over. Then we also started talking about being a commercial pilot. And so I saw that same excitement in his eyes because like me, you know, he can be an NFA teen or a 737 or a Cirrus SR 20 That I fly and be just as happy. So he still has that passion today and still very much plans to eventually become a commercial pilot.

Scott Benner 1:24:53
I appreciate you sharing that with me. Thank you. You have four children, do any others have type one.

David 1:24:58
They do my oldest When Henry has type one diabetes and my middle son Charlie has type one diabetes as well. The boys are twins. The oldest two are twins. One has type one diabetes, my middle son, who is not a twin has type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 1:25:11
I see. Is there any other auto immune in your family? There isn't I'm really

David 1:25:15
the only person in my family or my wife's family that we know of with any sort of autoimmune disease, certainly type one diabetes. So unfortunately, I was the first to strike it rich and unfortunately, pass it along to to my sons

Scott Benner 1:25:30
with celiac thyroid, anything like that. Not about nothing. We're

David 1:25:34
really a pretty healthy family. So this came out of nowhere for myself and for my two sons. That's

Scott Benner 1:25:39
really something. I appreciate your time very much. I appreciate you sharing this with me. Thank you very much.

David 1:25:44
Anytime Scott,

Scott Benner 1:25:45
learn more about the Medtronic champion community at Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box or by searching the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way. recording.com

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