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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1036 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today on the podcast I'll be speaking with Emily, she's 21 years old has had type one diabetes for 16 years, and also has hypothyroidism, celiac, and a number of other issues. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to save 40% at cozy earth.com on sheets, towels or clothing, just use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's all you have to do to save 40% off of your entire order to get 10% off your first month of therapy, use my link better help.com forward slash juicebox. And those of you who are going to start drinking ag one, it's drink ag one.com forward slash juicebox. You're gonna get five free travel packs in a year supply of vitamin D with your first order when you go to my link. Don't forget to check out the diabetes Pro Tip series. It's completely remastered and running in your audio app right now between Episode 1001 1026. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G seven and G six continuous glucose monitoring systems. Find out more and see if you're eligible for a free trial@dexcom.com Ford slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored today. By us med us med is the place where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from and you can to us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888721151 for use the link or call the number get your free benefits check and get going with us med

Emily 2:14
My name is Emily Ben Reagan mortar. I am 21 years old. I have had diabetes for around 16 years now. And so I've also have a lot of other conditions that have come up through the years. So

Scott Benner 2:30
yeah. Diagnosed around five. Yes, yep. Okay, what other things have come up?

Emily 2:37
So I was diagnosed with let me look at my note again.

Scott Benner 2:43
You know, you're in trouble, Emily, when you have to make notes about your medical conditions, if you're going to talk about it. Are you scrolling back to the first page?

Emily 2:57
No, it's one page at least. No, I was I also have the dates. So I'm making it kind of easy for you.

Scott Benner 3:04
Go ahead. Well, let's start with let's start at the beginning what was first?

Emily 3:08
So diabetes was first and I was about five years old. Yep. So that would have been like 2006 ish. That I got that. And then I got hypothyroidism around 11 celiac disease around 11. And then, working with my doctor, I've also like have a variant of efficiency, which they don't really know if that's linked or not

Scott Benner 3:35
with ovarian insufficiency or efficiency. insufficiency I was gonna say, I think they don't say anything when they're efficient. Sorry. I might have misheard you. Primary over ovarian insufficiency? Correct. When the ovaries stop functioning as they should be for age 40. This happens when this happens. Your ovaries don't produce typical amounts of hormone estrogen or release eggs regularly. condition is also called premature ovarian failure. And it could lead to infertility but it might not

Emily 4:12
yet. That's what I've been told. So

Scott Benner 4:16
how old were you when that happened?

Emily 4:18
That was I was 17 when that happened because I never had a cycle. And so they basically just pushed it off until I was 17. I was like okay, we should probably do something about this now. Like all right.

Scott Benner 4:32
Anything else?

Emily 4:35
That is pretty much it. And then I guess I've also struggled with like mental health side I've had like, I've had a little bit with depression a little bit with like anxiety and body dysmorphia and stuff like that. So yeah. All right, all across the board.

Scott Benner 4:55
You're covering you're checking all the boxes as they say. Yes, bye bye.

Emily 5:00
Definitely the expensive kid.

Scott Benner 5:03
I never thought of it that way. The Hypothyroidism is that Hashimotos never has been mentioned to me. Do they ever feel your thyroid and tell you there's like bumps on it or anything like that?

Emily 5:13
They do. But no, they've never seen anything. So no.

Scott Benner 5:17
Have you had testing for your thyroid? They do the blood testing. Yeah, but not not antibody testing?

Emily 5:25
I don't know. Yeah, probably. I would assume so. Okay.

Scott Benner 5:30
Okay. Well, where do we want to begin? I think I want to begin with anxiety. Have you always had it to the college a certain age? Say that again? I'm sorry. For people listening. Emily lives, what we're going to call in the heartland of America. And she's getting her Wi Fi with two tin cans, a string and a RadioShack. Fan. So anxiety, I was gonna ask you about anxiety? Like when did it start? Have you always had it? Or did it start at a certain time?

Emily 6:06
Oh, that's a that's a really good question. I guess. I don't really remember a ton like growing up either. And so I don't know. I feel like it's something I've always kind of had, but it's just always been there, I guess. So. I also recognize a lot more of what it is now that I'm older too.

Scott Benner 6:29
So what does it look like day to day?

Emily 6:32
I mean, it's really not terrible. It's just that I always expect the worst and I get very overwhelmed when I have a lot of things on my plate. So between I work on a farm also. And so I just things consistently stack up and it's just gets very overwhelming.

Scott Benner 6:52
Was that a hay bale Pong things just back up or no? No, right. Okay. Wait, so you work on what you did you grow up on a farm?

Emily 7:02
Yeah, yep. I actually work on my family farm.

Scott Benner 7:05
Oh, God, we get to call this episode E I E I O. Thank you. Fantastic. Okay. So you grew up on a family farm and you work it now as an adult? Right. Okay. So you have a ton of responsibilities at your job, but your job is also a family commitment. Tiny hits twice, right? Yes, yeah.

Emily 7:29
Actually, when there's a lot of things I need to do on my own. I also because I also have a home bakery. Because baking is my passion. I went to college for Pastry Arts. And so I tried to do that in the mix. And it just

Scott Benner 7:46
you weren't able to get a job doing that, or are you? I'm trying to understand like, did you want to be a baker and it didn't work out or you felt pulled to the family farm and so you didn't want to leave home. My daughter has had type one diabetes for over 15 years. And through all that, we've gotten our diabetes supplies from a couple of places. I've never really enjoyed the experience until now until I found us med us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888721151 for use the phone number or the link to get your free benefits check. And then once you know that US med takes your insurance, you're on your way. Actually us med takes over 800 private insurers and they accept Medicare nationwide. They have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and they always provide you with 90 days worth of supplies. And they have fast and free shipping. They carry everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the FreeStyle Libre three and the Dexcom G seven but if you want the G six of libre two, they have that as well. US med is gonna give you better service and better care. As a matter of fact, they've offered that service to over 1 million diabetes customers since 1996. Us med.com forward slash juice box the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. Number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash us med is where we got Omni pod five from the what else they got their tandem distributor they're the number one fastest tandem distributor nationwide, number one rated distributor index comm customer satisfaction surveys. Come on us med.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast Omnipod dash they have it went to Dexcom g7 They have it with a tandem T slim they have it well one on the pod five they they have it they have it they have it us med.com forward slash juicebox head on over now or call 888721151 for links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com.

Emily 9:58
Yeah, so I I actually did a few baking jobs here and there. But as I liked having growing on up on working on the farm, I kind of also can just manage myself. And so I've kind of been used to that. And so I wanted to do my own thing. But I'm also in as stated, the middle of nowhere. And so, and there's a lot of Dutch people around here and Dutch people don't like spending money.

Scott Benner 10:29
You're saying you can't sell a scone, where you live because people are frugal? What if you move somewhere to where people would pony up for for a scone?

Emily 10:42
We're working on that. I still live at home. And my because my partner is finishing college. And so and he's going to be an engineer, so he doesn't know where he's planning to end up either. Okay, and so I'm kind of just holding out until I say he's done with college, because I don't want to spend the money to have a place and then have to leave either. So I want to say saving money, I guess. Okay, so

Scott Benner 11:08
you're saving money. You're working at home, but you're also not practicing your craft. Right? You need to are you baking at home for your family? Well, I

Emily 11:14
bake and sell out of my home to people. It's just not enough to actually make a living on it currently. So I want to say for the Russian project that gets done on the

Scott Benner 11:26
side. That's nice. That's nice. I want to say for the record, I don't like scones. I have no idea. I said that. Like I don't know why something that I so don't enjoy was my example. What do you think? That's true? Yeah. It's weird, right? Like, why didn't I say something? I

Emily 11:40
like, Scania was kind of a completely random one. I will say, yeah. And they're dry.

Scott Benner 11:44
And I don't know. I shouldn't have said that. I'm going to regret that for the next 10 minutes or so you think maybe you feel

Emily 11:52
better. I sell a lot of cheesecake.

Scott Benner 11:54
So Oh, cheesecake. A good cheesecake is hard to hard to say no to. It's mostly about the consistency that cheesecake and the juxtaposition against the cross, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. Very important. Where did you go to school to learn this?

Emily 12:11
I did online out of Boulder, Colorado, at a Augustus Gauthier. So it was actually a culinary school. And I'm very glad I did it online, because that's when the whole world shut down. So I was able to continue getting my stuff done.

Scott Benner 12:29
You learn to bake online?

Emily 12:31
I did. Emily. It takes a little bit of skill. I will say.

Scott Benner 12:36
Yeah, cuz, wow. I don't know. Would you just follow along with the videos?

Emily 12:41
Yeah. So like, I would watch a video and have like a live lecture basically. And then you just had to take pictures of like, eight or 10 steps along the way while you're baking. And like, the chef's can tell that if it's right or not, and then just fill out like a whole little form. Did you have to consistency in flavors and everything? No, no?

Scott Benner 13:04
That's pretty. That's pretty interesting. A way to get around that. Did you have to take pictures of people's faces while they were biting into it to prove it tasted good? No, no, I thought I would have done if I was the I would have been like now you have to feed it to somebody and show me the reaction. Can you imagine there's someone running around right now, with a baking degree and they suck at it. Nobody knows. Because nobody ever ate their food.

Emily 13:27
I mean, there there was a few questionable people in my program. I will I will say we had a Facebook group. And there was there was some interesting things that I got went through.

Scott Benner 13:38
I have to ask you, do you know that I went to baking school? I did not. Okay. In high school. I was faced leaving Middle School. I don't know how people like, break up their schooling and all around the country. But where I was, I think we went to middle school. That's what we call it right? elementary, middle school, high school and middle school ended at like eighth grade. And then you went with the high school I went ninth 10th 11th and 12th at high school. But like the first year, ninth grade was still in the middle school building. So I don't know. You don't I mean, anyway, when I had to go to high school. I am not a good student. Emily, is a matter of fact, I am really bad at going to school. I was worried to say the least. And one day there was a trip to the technical school. There is a technical school you could go to in conjunction with the high school and I went and I on the tour figured out that the way the schedule worked back then was that for half the month for two weeks of the month, you'd go to tech school, and then for the other two weeks, you'd go to to the high school and I was very easily I had my math was great back then. And I took three years and I divided in half. And I realized I only have to go to high school for a year and a half if I went to tech school, and I was like, I could probably get through that, you know. So I went to the building, and I had no interest in any of the trades. Like none. But I figured out I'll pick one. And then, you know, I don't know that I'll get a year on half off from high school, obviously, I was not planning for my future, Emily. And I went around the building like small engine repair, there was like the restaurant there, there was a place where you could learn to be a hairdresser, like like all this like, like pretty great stuff, you know. And then I walked into the bakery. And Emily, there were more pretty girls in the bakery than anywhere else in the building. So I went to baking school and Dexcom for the pretty girls were so that's where I went. And then I discovered I really liked baking. So I did it for three years. And I got out of high school and got a job immediately in a bakery. And about a week and a half into it, I was like that, my friends is called a cliffhanger. dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Head over now and get yourself a Dexcom g7 Or a Dexcom G six dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Let's do it together, shall we dexcom.com. Forward slash juice box. Click. Now what's going to happen web page lovely person pops up. We're in a Dexcom g7. I scroll down to New Dexcom g7, the most accurate CGM system and there's like a little thing I wonder what the little thing means, because it says it's the most accurate, but then it's like you gotta go read this to agree with this thing. Oh, is where the hecky who Oh, finger sticks required for diabetes treatment decisions, if symptoms or expectations do not match readings, okay. That's the thing. dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. lots of lovely photograph offers, photographs, pictures, let's call them here on the website. So you can really see what you're getting. And the size of the new Dexcom g7 is kind of astonishing. So you'll, you'll take a look and see what you think. Personally, for me, my daughter is using the g7. And I can tell you that she enjoys the size, and the quick warmup period, which is 30 minutes. But there's this kind of this overlap you can do that eliminates the 30 minute period. So you can see if I can explain this correctly, you can put a new G seven on before the old G sevens done, then just wait 30 minutes, and then turn off the old one and turn on the new one and a law, a number appears. So you still have the numbers from the old one. Until the numbers from the new one showed up. It's I was I didn't mean to I was cursed. It's really great. You're gonna love it. These things work with these things, the Dexcom work, the Dexcom g7 and G six work with Android or iPhone. And they come with a receiver if you'd like if you'd rather use the Dexcom receiver, you absolutely can. Or you can use your smartphone. Speaking of smartphones, up to 10 people can follow the blood sugar. So your kid could wear this or you could wear it. And I don't know whoever you want can follow up the 10 people, they can get their own alerts and alarms. Oh, I didn't mention the alerts and alarms. You can set alerts and alarms for yourself highs and lows. You know, you can tell tell the thing like I want to know when I'm dropping quickly I want to know when I get to this number, you know a lot of different configurations. And then it'll just beep and tell you now we have our settings that let's see Arden's phone is 70 and 130, low 70, High 130, my phone, low 70, High 120 You can do whatever you want. It's completely user settable. That's not the word, adjustable. Whatever you can decide. That's really what this is about. It's about you making good decisions. And trust me when you can see not just your blood sugar, right, the number but the speed and direction that it's moving in. That's the kind of feedback you need to make terrific decisions dexcom.com forward slash juicebox head over now, get started. You're gonna love it, there's actually a Get Started button, you can just click on that. I actually think you can also hold on a second. You can fill out some information here that you can get started right now. Just go to the link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox they've actually made it really easy. Anyway, while you're there, read about the clarity app too. That's a great little aspect of Dexcom that you're going to love. links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. Hey, are you on Medicare? There's a link there too. For G seven, head over now. I just realized they made this ad really long so Dexcom bonus for you. Everybody else thanks for listening if you skip through it, let's just say I understand bout a week and a half into it. I was like what the fuck? Why are we starting work at one o'clock in the morning? And then I quit that job.

Emily 20:04
Yeah, I worked at a patisserie for a few about a year. I was lucky enough that I lived far away that they never scheduled me for opening. Then I didn't have to be there till like nine o'clock.

Scott Benner 20:16
Are you allowed to say Patisserie? Do I have to block bleep that is not a bad word.

Emily 20:20
No, that's just a style of bakery. Oh, oh, french french bakery.

Scott Benner 20:26
Okay, so anyway, I quit that job because I was not going to get up in the middle of the night and work and that was ridiculous. And then I realized I'd wasted the prior three years of my life, and then I moved on. So anyway, it's a cautionary tale. We, um, how do you make out in the bakery? type one, because you're always like tasting things while you're baking. Right?

Emily 20:50
Yeah, most of the time. Yeah. But I've also kind of just a lot of the times I'm moving around and running around so often that it almost helps just bump me up a little bit.

Scott Benner 21:01
Oh, so Oh, that's interesting. So you're just you're tasting a little bit, but you don't really need insulin for it. Because you're moving around so much. Yeah, yeah. Oh, cool.

Emily 21:11
And I know that. I don't know. I never really taste that much, either. So

Scott Benner 21:16
now, what's your favorite disgusting bakery thing? I have mine. In my mind first. Sure. I like taking cinnamon bun dough that's raw, and then dipping it into butter wash and then throwing it in the cinnamon sugar and then eating it wrong.

Speaker 1 21:35
Yeah, I understand. You're like Emily's like, that'll work. Alright, so Okay. What do you recall about the first years of your diabetes? Like, do you have any recollection from being five years old?

Emily 21:49
I really don't remember it at all. I know that. It was It wasn't really that bad. And my parents caught it right away. Because my dad is also type one runs in my family. So my dad is also in my dad's paternal grandfather also has type one. Wow. Okay. So they were able to keep catch it right away. And then I was in and out of the hospital and a few days. And I know I wasn't actually on injections super long, because they wanted me to get on a pump before going to kindergarten that year. So I think really only a few months. I actually only did injections.

Scott Benner 22:30
So you've been wearing a pump your whole life pretty much with diabetes.

Emily 22:33
Yes, yeah. Yep. And so like back when I started, Medtronic was really top tier. So I've always been used to a tube pump. So now I used to a few years back I actually finally switched to tandem because I was very sick of Medtronic. And I was ready for because and then when like CGM is became popular. I used the Dexcom for a few years. I think it was like the four back then four or five, maybe, okay. And then Medtronic came out with theirs, which is terrible. It did not work for me at all. Medtronic

Scott Benner 23:13
CGM didn't work for you. How did how did that? Like? What does that mean? You say it didn't work for you?

Emily 23:21
I use both me and my dad I guess. I don't know. It was constantly always like 30 to 40 Points off. Didn't never caught trends, right. And it was just very unreliable.

Scott Benner 23:35
Gotcha. You're um, when do you start working on the farm? Like how old did they get you doing stuff? What kind of farm is it? By the way? What do you do? Is it dairy? Is it beef? Is it like what kind of farm Well,

Emily 23:47
we have hogs? Oh,

Scott Benner 23:51
do tell me is this for bacon, other delicious things like that?

Emily 23:55
It is for bacon. Another delicious thing?

Scott Benner 23:58
Bacon. Let's think about bacon for a second, shall we?

Emily 24:02
I think it was wonderful.

Scott Benner 24:05
It really is. It really really is. So weak. So you, really so you farm like your farm just sustains hogs and nothing else.

Emily 24:15
We do hogs and then we do corn and soybeans,

Scott Benner 24:17
corn and soybeans. Interesting. So what do you do? What are you what are your responsibilities?

Emily 24:23
So we do farrow to finish on our hogs. So we we do breeding all the way to when they're grown ready to go to market. And so really on day to day, I'm out. I go probably outside by like eight o'clock, and I do chores. And then I also am the person who grinds feed most days. And then we do a lot of dry bedding for them to feel like they actually going to be outside and stuff. So that's most of what day to day is. Depending on the season.

Scott Benner 24:58
It's just keeping up with the hot And yeah, when you say grind feed, it's the is it the corn that you grow that you grind down? Yep, we do that. Yep. I like how you're like, yeah, that's normally what happens in the rest of us. Like, Wow, it's amazing. You grow corn and feed it to a pig Holy crap. You know, you just changed the episode title again. Really? Well, what is it going to be now this little piggy went the market. Tell me you've never said that as they were driving away.

Emily 25:27
We have made jokes about the bacon's going, that the little sausages are ready to go be to the market. So I mean, sometimes, like the little piglets will just be laying in a perfect little line with like their feet under them. And so I'll take a picture and send it to my family and just say it's cute little sausage link today.

Scott Benner 25:51
You know, when I was young, we used to say I smell bacon when we saw a cop. And then one day, then one day I grew up when I was a cop, and then it seemed uncomfortable. So let me ask you, I have a lot of questions about being type one on the farm. But first, I want to ask you about like, Do you get any connection to the animals? Is it hard to see them leave?

Emily 26:10
Not really, because I know, I don't know. They get to the point. I also have the understanding of like, they kind of feed our live and feed our people and that their timeframe of like when they go to market is really, it's quite long, really. But

Scott Benner 26:26
I don't know. Are you saying they get to live a good long time before we turn them into baking?

Emily 26:31
Up? Do you send them out? Yeah.

Scott Benner 26:32
I'll be honest with you 30 days, I'm almost ready to be vacant. Like I've done this enough. I'm good. It's really interesting. And how long has your family been doing that? Generation?

Emily 26:48
A longtime? Gen. Yeah, I think three or four generations now.

Scott Benner 26:53
So your grandfather worked a farm with type one diabetes, back in the like, early part of 1900s and 40s.

Emily 27:02
I don't actually know when he got it. I know my dad got it at 16. So the ABS and he's been working the farm, though his whole life too. So

Scott Benner 27:15
and without back then no pumping. I mean, but they were probably your grandfather's doing. He'd be lucky to be doing, you know, some of the first insolence still so and your father just ever talked about his type one?

Emily 27:28
Yeah, we talked. We talked about it a lot. We're both quite open. But we definitely have different management styles.

Scott Benner 27:36
How so what's different?

Emily 27:38
So I do. He's very old school about like, he doesn't like to run as low and just is more comfortable with higher numbers and everything. And is a lot about just not changing things and waiting to go to the endo and stuff like that. Whereas I think 90 is getting low. Where I'm like, Well, I mean, I have a few numbers that can go down before I actually need some to do something. So.

Scott Benner 28:08
So where do you think he keeps his blood sugar? Where is he comfortable? I mean,

Emily 28:13
a lot of days, he's around 150 I think what I see.

Scott Benner 28:19
But he incredibly, I imagine.

Emily 28:23
It depends on the day, honestly, because like, I guess even for me like a normal day. I go out to do chores, and I dip low and then just out walking around the whole cold day around now but like come harvest time. So in the fall, I sit in a tractor 75% of the day, so I have a lot of less activity. Okay. But then like in the spring, I'll work from eight o'clock in the morning to nine o'clock 10 o'clock at night. And so

Scott Benner 29:00
it's that's such a long day. Are you wealthy from that? Do they pay you a $2 million a year, Emily?

Emily 29:07
I mean, that would be great. But

Scott Benner 29:10
it's not what it pays. You just said you just said you were to 13 hour day and I was like, I would need $5 million every six months. Yeah. Well, so do you have How did you have time to meet a boy who's in college becoming an engineer if you're doing this the whole time?

Emily 29:30
My best friend. I always went to go see the marching band at the college where my best friend goes to school. So I just went out there to do that with her the one day and then we just randomly met.

Scott Benner 29:43
I don't know. Is he a band geek? Yes, yes. It was he wearing one of those big fuzzy hats when you met him. You broke up Emily. Emily's gone. She lives in a field. You guys heard Emily. He wasn't actually And Emily, you broke up. I'm sorry. Big fuzzy hat was the last thing I said that you heard. Can you hear me? Hello? Hello? I think one of the pigs she was. Yes, I can hear you. Okay. Good. Oh, so he does not have a hat with a feather in

Emily 30:15
band that he was not in band at that time. But he was there.

Scott Benner 30:19
I see. A band had is called a shake goes by the way. Really? Yeah. shakos

Emily 30:26
I was in band through all of high school. I never knew that. You never

Scott Benner 30:31
you never. You never shot goes to anything in high school. Oh,

Emily 30:35
no, but I did keep a juice box in my marching band had

Scott Benner 30:38
I thought you were gonna say in my tuba.

Emily 30:41
No, I was a flute. So I had no such luck with that.

Scott Benner 30:45
A flutist? Yes. Can you play the flute? Yeah, really? Like I mean,

Emily 30:51
I don't know if I can't anymore. I've been touched it in years, but I could. Okay,

Scott Benner 30:55
so I was gonna say like, I got a flute right now you could pick it up and play something. Please don't. I was just asking for good. Okay. Yeah,

Emily 31:04
no, I never prided myself on being good. I was very good. Second chair flute.

Scott Benner 31:10
But you So you did it in the orchestra and in the marching band?

Emily 31:15
Yeah. Well, you didn't have an option at our school. But yes,

Scott Benner 31:18
if you did one you did the other. They were giving you the flute you were coming through.

Emily 31:24
Yeah, I didn't flute for two years. And then I did Color Guard. So the flags for people that don't actually know, for the other two years, and I did like colorguard a lot more to do

Scott Benner 31:34
that for football? Not really not really. Alright, so you talked about some depression too. When did that happen?

Emily 31:44
Oh, that was definitely like later high school that just got a lot on my plate. Like I said, and I just I don't know, I always struggled with how I looked in that played a lot in how I viewed myself and how I carried myself.

Scott Benner 32:00
Okay, so can you explain that to me like so you said Body Dysmorphia earlier? Like, do you not appear the way you feel?

Emily 32:10
No. So, and I mean, I don't really care. I'll say the numbers. But I'm like five foot 10. And like 160 pounds. And so I'm definitely pretty thin, thinner. But I just feel like I'm not. I feel like I'm bigger than that. And it just is something I've always kind of struggled with and feeling comfortable with how I look.

Scott Benner 32:38
Is it? Is it your height that makes you feel like that? Do you think?

Emily 32:41
Not really, like I used to always be from celiac, I had a growth stunt. And so I was always like, the shortest one of my kid until I was probably a junior in high school. And then I finally actually grew. So I don't know if that may be played a part of it, too, that I was just having adjusted to how I changed so rapidly. I don't know.

Scott Benner 33:07
I mean, I'm sorry to do this, but I'm looking at a photo of you from two years ago. And you are tall and like slender. And pretty. And I know. And that's interesting. So you don't you don't feel that way. Not always, how do you feel when you don't feel that way?

Emily 33:27
I just get really hard on myself and judge every, like, I judge what I eat, and I judge how active I am and stuff like that, and then just kind of beat myself up over that.

Scott Benner 33:41
Where does that come from? Did somebody put that in your head? Like do like are you around family members who, like make comments about food or the way people look or anything like that?

Emily 33:53
I mean, my mom's maiden made comments. Never to me. It's just, I think, kind of how she holds herself accountable. But then also, I think that just kind of also affected me a little bit. I don't know, but I've always it's always been there. And I've always struggled with it. So I don't really no,

Scott Benner 34:13
this part of the conversation ruins any ability for me to mention the pigs or the hogs or anything like that. And the title of the episode. I hope you appreciate me that we've completely gotten away from that now. Do you see it? Do you see what I'm saying? You're like you're you are. Are you a very serious person. You cut out again, I'm sorry.

Emily 34:35
I mean, a little bit, but I don't know specifically, I

Scott Benner 34:38
guess. Right. But like, what am I asking? Am I not funny to you?

Emily 34:45
No, I just I don't know. You are it was funny.

Scott Benner 34:49
I mean, listen, it wasn't like falling down for me or anything like that. But there was a pause where I was like, oh, but But I I was I'm being serious. I wasn't joking, but I was I I think that some people would be upset if I referenced like hogs in in the title of the show or farm animals in general. And then 30 minutes into it. You talked about having body dysmorphia, I don't think I'd be able to like, I don't think people would be okay with that somebody wouldn't be okay with that. I don't think it's funny. I just, I thought it just struck me out of nowhere, just how I was like, oh, gosh, I guess I can't do that now. And then your response? I

Emily 35:23
never, I never would have connected those dots. Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 35:27
Maybe I'm overthinking it.

Emily 35:29
Honestly. I'm also just so used to pigs that I would just think straight about pigs and not think about that at all either, though. So.

Scott Benner 35:42
I don't want to be like too, like, philosophical because this is stupid, because they're pigs. But do you think there's anything about being around like, kind of? I mean, generally speaking on attractive, slovenly animals that makes you like, that puts you into a mindset? I know. That's ridiculous. But have you ever equated yourself to the animals in your own mind?

Emily 36:05
No. Okay.

Scott Benner 36:06
I mean, I wouldn't think I mean, I wouldn't think you would, I just I'm trying to figure out like, I guess it's hard to understand that, from an outside perspective, like not that I don't know that it happens, or that people don't struggle with it. I'm completely aware of that. But trying to understand it like you don't like, I mean, there's nothing about you visually, that would make me feel like, like, if I had to guess, who was at home feeling bad about how they look? It just wouldn't be you. I wouldn't think that. And I'm trying to figure out how, yeah, how it happens. And it's, you talked a little bit about depression, but not a lie, a little bit about anxiety, but not a lot. So I'm not sure like, you're like, you just kept saying, like, I have a lot on my plate. But I don't know what that means, like, you get overwhelmed when you have too much to do.

Emily 36:56
Yeah, I struggle with change a lot. And so just like, having a lot of things, the farm really takes up a lot of time. And so I feel like finding the balance of getting things I need to do done. Besides farm work and getting like things I want to do slash, like, having time to do my hobbies is just gets very overwhelming. And there's very few hours that I actually get to do those things. Because I work six, sometimes every day of the week. And it's just

Scott Benner 37:34
Okay, so I think we're getting to it now. So you, you have in every six of the seven days a week, you're working 13 hours. And this is not a job like that you can just turn to your boss and go, you know, I don't want to do this anymore. Because it's your family and you feel beholden to them, I would imagine. Okay,

Emily 37:56
yeah, def, definitely a little bit. And then it's just hard to actually, you know, get like time away, because my boyfriend lives goes to school four hours away. And so if I'm going, I want to actually go in like, I can't drive up there and drive back the next day. Yeah, because that's barely time to actually do anything. See him. And you're. Yeah. And so like, I forget that time off, but then I also have to work around like, what our farm schedule is, and if my parents are doing anything, because it's me and my dad on the farm, so

Scott Benner 38:33
the amount of money you get paid to work on the farm, would that be enough money to hire a different person?

Emily 38:37
Maybe, but there's really not a lot of people around here that wants to do the work. Gotcha. People like working a lot more with cows. And we have a lot older of facilities and a lot of other hog farmers too. So

Scott Benner 38:51
hard to get people to work because that was like, even if they could just hire somebody for a few days a month to offset your schedule. That may be because it feels like I mean it. Emily listen to you're 21 and I don't know you but it sounds like you feel like you're trapped. Yep. Okay. And, and not that it's even a bad thing. But that. I mean, here's what I'm thinking. I'm not saying that your family's business is a bad thing. I'm saying that you don't have options. Like maybe if you had options you would choose hog farming. I have no idea. I don't it's possible you don't even know either. But without options, there's no way to know and then it feels like the thing you're doing you're stuck doing my right about that.

Emily 39:36
Yeah, I would agree. I definitely feel like I was kind of just pushed into it and never really given a true because I've been working since I was 13 Probably I would. I never got a snow day from school because we had a snow day I would be working and so I definitely just kind of got pushed into it and it's just never stopped.

Scott Benner 39:57
And so and but your parents don't have much recourse either because it's hard to hire people for the reasons that you suggested and this business needs to happen or nobody gets anything. And we gotta buy insulin pumps, food and everything. Can't just eat bacon all day. I mean, you could for a day or two. Yeah, but then you'd have to eventually stop. Yeah, yep. Is the bacon better? Where you live than where I live?

Emily 40:23
I mean, I think we have very good bacon. You guys.

Scott Benner 40:28
Can I buy it? No, no, no. Okay. But you make do you make your own there?

Emily 40:35
We will we send our hogs to and we take a few to a local butcher, and then they do it. And then we get all of our own back.

Scott Benner 40:48
Why did you want to do this? Why did you want to come on?

Emily 40:50
I just feel like I don't. I have a very different story from a lot of people. And I like being able to share and just kind of get my input out.

Scott Benner 40:59
Yeah. I'm sorry. It feels like we're going through a lot of difficult things, but the ovarian insufficiency? Are you worried about not being able to have kids? Is that something you wanted to do?

Emily 41:11
I don't really No, at this point. I've never, for a long time. I didn't care didn't really want to. But it's and I've brought it up like with my partner before. And like he's aware of it. And he's very supportive and knows like, it's not really my father, anything they? They say it's like a 5% chance that I'll actually be able to. Okay, but no, no, it's not something on the forefront of my mind, at least at this point. Yeah. It's

Scott Benner 41:43
a tough thing to be faced with at your age, I would imagine because you're not thinking about having children. And now you're forced to think about what it would mean to not be able to have them at a time. Yeah, you don't I mean,

Emily 41:56
I remember sitting in the doctor's office, my mom's like, bawling. And I'm like, I don't. What's, what's the problem? Like, I don't know.

Scott Benner 42:05
Mom, I can't eat. I can't eat gluten. My thyroid doesn't work. I can make I can make

Emily 42:12
one more problem. And it's fine.

Scott Benner 42:16
Hey, Wouldn't it be funny if you left the farm, opened a bakery, had children and then forced them to work in the bakery?

Emily 42:26
You will do this

Scott Benner 42:33
I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm laughing. Oh, you'll be like listen, you imagining your stories. You'll be like, Look, I had to grind feed for hogs. You'll just make the lemon drops and shut your mouth.

Emily 42:51
I want to work outside in the cold you at least get to be in the warm Yeah,

Scott Benner 42:55
go stand next to the oven. Warm yourself right up.

Emily 42:59
While you're in there, negative 20 here and it's not fun.

Scott Benner 43:02
While you're in there spin though she cakes. There's a lot of Dutch people's birthdays this weekend. So Pennsylvania Dutch, by the way, like that, like kind of like Mennonite Dutch like that thing?

Emily 43:15
No, no, no. Like, just Dutch descent from

Scott Benner 43:19
gotcha. I hear this is something. So if you have a question, it's gonna seem like it's out of left field. If you magically if I picked you up off your farm and put you somewhere and you had money and you had health insurance, all of a sudden, do you know how to manage your different issues, you are just somebody helped you with them. So you kind of cut out again, I didn't cut out I live in a metropolitan area with amazing internet access. Somewhere in the lines, what you were saying I cut out on the wire, they shouldn't do that. But in there are trying to escape because you look at them and you think they're sausages. So they have like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, you look down at them, and they're a little like wiggly. Alright, what I was saying was, this is a little out of left field, because it's not following along. But I'm interested. You're 21 you have I mean, a number of things you're dealing with, how well equipped are you to manage your own health? Like if you didn't live at home anymore? Would you be able to stay on top of all this?

Emily 44:24
No. Oh, yes. A year ago? No.

Scott Benner 44:28
How did you learn?

Emily 44:29
So when I was 19, I finished college. And so I had to switch from the pediatric endo to adult Endo. That was a very rough transition. And so the first few times I totally just, I definitely have an endo where change your basil and you'll be fine. Awesome. Not great. Thanks a lot. And so and then I just remember multiple times I would go and they would tell me eat less carbs. And so the first few times I just didn't really take it seriously. Yeah. And then one time, it just kind of stuck with me. And I was like, okay, whatever, I'll try it, I get you keep telling me this. And so I started eating less carbs slowly. And I don't really know the timeframe of when this was happening. But I just remember, I really just stopped eating carbs in general, not purposely, it's not like I was saying, Oh, I'm gonna try low carb and see what happens. I just, and then I got to the point where I got scared to take a large Bolus, so I was eating 20 carbs max at a meal. So I was taking like less than two units. And then I was seeing that my line was flattening. And so I was fell into a lot of over management, seeing that flatline at a lower number. Okay, and then I think I lost 30 pounds doing this, because I just wasn't eating. And then I got to the point where I want to eat a snack unless I was low. So I ran myself low often so that I would allow myself to eat a snack. And then I was in the midst of this when I actually met my boyfriend. And then that also kind of helped me because he could see like, what I was doing to myself, because I didn't realize I was doing these things. And so then I started my Endo, praise me because I was do having good numbers and everything. And it was just, it felt good to be praised. Because I didn't realize how much I was actually hurting myself. Because I remember, like I would, I would check, check my Dexcom every five minutes to see what was happening. And it was just, I got to the point where I didn't know how long I could continue doing that, because I was just burned out between managing that and everything else. And so then I actually, I started looking stuff up online. And that's actually how I found the podcast. And I'm not a huge podcast listener. But I think I started at like the pro tip. And just kind of jumped around and listened to a few. And then I found a lot followed some people on Instagram. And I found a coaching program that I was very unsure about, just because I didn't know if I wanted to pay that. Yeah. And so I ended up do, I did like a little trial of it. And it was a group of ladies. And they really do a wonderful job of like teaching you about your nutrition and so like your fat fiber protein, and just helping you to get your baselines and like your blood sugar on activity. And they had a really great section about like, your blood sugar and management around like your cycle. And it just really changed my life and was such a helpful thing that now I can actually function and manage without it taking up every moment of my day.

Scott Benner 48:26
Yeah, that's wonderful. I'm glad you found something that helped you. So to kind of recap, the doctor was pushed like, didn't like you're a one see, I guess or something. And then so that was like,

Emily 48:38
the crazy thing is my A one C was like 6.7 at that point.

Scott Benner 48:42
And so the doctor's advice was the Eat less carbs, which by the way, if they said that, you should have said it's actually fewer carbs, but that probably wouldn't have gotten anywhere. And so they tell you to eat fewer carbs. And then it just turns into like a like a cycle like you kind of spin out of control. Like you start limiting carbs. And then from there, you get scared about insulin. And now you're only eating when you're low and you lose weight. So it all feels like wow, this is going well. And it took another person to say hey, Emily, I don't think this is like good for you. Is that about right? Yep. Okay, yes. Then you went and found some better advice, and were able to put it into practice. I gotcha. So had you found these people, the coaching or whatever you found before the Doctor, do you think you would have avoided that?

Emily 49:33
Yeah. Because at that, before my doctor sent me down my little spiral, I was perfectly fine. I didn't I think I didn't manage as well as I could have. But I was managing fine. And before I did that, like I didn't really understand Basal carb ratio or anything. I didn't know how they all mattered, and I didn't know what they did because I had this since I was five everybody had been doing ever I think for me, and nobody really took the time to inform me about what does what?

Scott Benner 50:06
Don't you think that they don't? Did they really know either? Like, don't you think somebody set it up for them, then they had the same struggle that you probably had, then years later. And then we found some sort of a, I don't know, some sort of a rhythm that kept your a one C under seven surveys like, well, this is fine. And then you just go about your day and rinse and repeat over and over again, keep doing the same things and you're not doing anything. Like purposefully. It's just, you don't I mean, you just get stuck doing something. And it's kind of working. And it's good enough. And that's that.

Emily 50:37
Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 50:41
Well, that's depressing. Sorry. It really is. Yeah, yeah.

Emily 50:46
Well, I was I'm on control IQ. And so my doctor always hated the fact that my pump would suspend during the day. But I was like, Well, it's because my activity is constantly changing through the day, I don't need to lower my Basal because that one day, I just work a lot more that and like, now I'm comfortable with changing them on my own. And so I know like, this is right for when I'm not being super active. So I just need to work around being why I'm being active.

Scott Benner 51:20
So your doctor didn't like that the control like he was doing what it was supposed to do.

Emily 51:24
Yeah, it said it was suspending too much

Scott Benner 51:27
too much. So he wanted you to have more insulin.

Emily 51:30
You wanted to lower my Basal, because it had suspending too much. But I wasn't it was suspending to keep me and I wasn't, but I actually wasn't like getting low.

Scott Benner 51:41
Yeah. I think it's possible. Your doctor didn't understand how that algorithm worked? Potentially? Yeah. Do you understand it better now?

Emily 51:51
Yes, yeah. I in it. For a long time, I was just trying to run myself under the 112. And so I get frustrated at it. But now, knowing that it like strives to be at the 112 Warren, I can actually get around it more. And for a while, I was terrified to take it out of control IQ. Because I didn't know if any of my stuff was right. Yeah. And so I didn't know what would happen if I actually like took it out and had it in manual mode. And but now I'm totally comfortable. Have some days, I'll just run it in manual and flip it over at night, just because I do like the fact that I can change things overnight. And you

Scott Benner 52:33
can do that now because you know your settings are are pretty tight. Yes. And you know how to Bolus for your food. Okay. Did you ever think of having it of that time as being an eating disorder? Or just you got a little confused for a while and you pulled yourself out of it?

Emily 52:49
At the time? I No, I did not at all think that it was an eating disorder. But now looking back it definitely was. I just didn't

Scott Benner 52:56
know it. I see. Oh, Emily, you've been through a lot. Seriously, and on top of that, you drive a tractor. That sounds like bouncy. And that must be unpleasant on your back. Am I right? I mean, driving tractors is fun. It's fun. For nine hours a day.

Emily 53:15
I mean, I do have a very fancy tractor, I will say. So. I mean, it has Bluetooth, and it has a massaging seat.

Scott Benner 53:26
Get out of here. Are you serious with a cooler? Wow,

Emily 53:30
I'm serious. It has a cooler it has a massaging seat. And it has like suspension. So the cab barely moves. You just has auto steer. So I just sit there wait like a

Scott Benner 53:41
Tesla. Like he just keeps it in the lane kind of thing. Yeah,

Emily 53:44
I marked that. I'm where I am. And then it just drives straight until I have to turn around. Yeah,

Scott Benner 53:51
I almost cursed Emily. That's amazing. And you finally named the episode something that can use fancy tractor. Emily's fancy tractor. Maybe that's an icon. That'll be nice. Okay,

Emily 54:05
I do call it my tractor because I feel like I drive it the most out of everybody so

Scott Benner 54:10
Fair's fair. I imagine that you had to drive the tractor to visit your boyfriend. And that's why it took four hours to get to him.

Emily 54:16
No, it just takes four hours to get to him. That's an four hours on the interstate.

Scott Benner 54:21
I was gonna say it takes four hours to get everywhere, doesn't it?

Emily 54:23
I mean, the nearest big city is like 45 minutes. So it could be worse. To get to a target after drive, 45 minutes,

Scott Benner 54:34
you have to drive 40 There are times I go to Target and I walk in and I'm like, Why did I come here? Then I walk out again. I'm so irritated. It took five minutes and I'm pissed about it. If I drove 45 minutes and got to a target. I'd I'd be out of my mind. I'd be out of my mind.

Emily 54:50
I have to drive 15 minutes to go somewhere to get groceries. Yeah.

Scott Benner 54:57
You're describing a hellscape to me. Are there Are there tornadoes? Where your? Yes, like Twister, like the movie where the cows fly like that.

Emily 55:07
I mean, we did have a tornado come through a few years ago that ripped the roof off one of our buildings. Yeah.

Scott Benner 55:15
Did you say rough? Say it again? The thing on top of the buildings called what? Emily, you keep cutting out? Did dusk get in the way of the signal for the Wi Fi this time? What happened? Hello, this poor girl. The Bluetooth on the tractor is interfering. Hello? Emily, you back? She's kind of there. And she's kind of not Emily densidad today it is. Hey, I'm sorry. I was doing the music from the Wizard of Oz. And I was using that maybe the Bluetooth from the tractor interfered with your Wi Fi while you were gone. You were gone for so long. I don't remember what I was gonna ask you. How do you how do you how do you feel about your life? Are you hopeful?

Emily 56:04
I would say yes. I I look forward to what's going to come in the next few years because I feel like I'm at a point in my life now where stuffs gonna start changing. And I'm not going to be in as much of a same place every day.

Scott Benner 56:22
Yeah, so you think you'll move out and go somewhere? Where the bakery idea is possible or working in the bakery as possible. Emily? Yes. Did you hear me?

Emily 56:40
I can hear you now.

Scott Benner 56:41
Okay. Do you think that you'll actually go work in a bakery? And, and that you'll move away from home?

Emily 56:48
Um, I'm probably going to move away. I I do like that. I have my own little home bakery. And because like right now I just do buy individual orders for people. I mean, I would love to one day have like a little coffee shop bakery that also sells books, but

Scott Benner 57:08
Gotcha. Let's see bacon, by the way, because I know you can get wholesale really good prices. Also cookies and bacon would be amazing. Can you imagine? If I ordered have done that before? Yeah, like if I ordered from you online and I got like a small tin of cookies. Like a half a pound of what we'll call artisan bacon. We'll dress it up by calling it artisan or something like that charge people like $20 for a half plan. Oh my God. And the yuppies are buying up Emily? The love it. The vegan got this bacon from a farm. It's it comes by Oh, they would eat it up. Eat it up. You talk to me. We'll get you the website. Be on your way. What we call what we call the alright, but we call the business.

Emily 57:56
I mean, my current business is takers kitchen by Emily kickers kitchen. Because my dad. Yeah, because my dad gave me the nickname takers before I ever started baking.

Scott Benner 58:06
I like that. That's lovely. Do you you don't sell online, though? Is that right? Just locally?

Emily 58:12
No, not I'm not legally allowed to actually sell things and ship them. So

Scott Benner 58:19
I wonder how many people aren't legally allowed to do what they're doing right now. I'm like,

Emily 58:24
I also don't want to get sued by the state. So

Scott Benner 58:27
Oh, I see. Because you I get what you're saying. Right? You would never do. Gotcha. I hear state

Emily 58:34
has a lot of rules that are annoying.

Scott Benner 58:37
The state might want to work on getting Wi Fi to people that get us on the internet so we can live like the rest of the world understand things. Right, right. See photos and news and interesting things. I'm going to ask you when we're done recording in a second what state you're in, because I am interested. But I don't want Oh, actually, you could just tell me now I'll bleep it out. Where are you at? I say okay.

Speaker 1 59:00
All right. I just once heard that there was a huge diabetes population at at the college. In which one that I mean, is there only one really, right, the big one? I'm trying not to say where you live. Like I'm trying not to make too many edits. But apparently there's like a huge population there.

Emily 59:19
I'm not really by college, I'd say no.

Scott Benner 59:21
Okay, gotcha. All right. Emily, listen, your signal is worsening by the second. So we're going to wrap this up. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that you wanted to say?

Emily 59:32
I don't believe so. I think that was we did okay. kind of covered all the bases. Yeah.

Scott Benner 59:36
You feel good about this? I think we did. Okay. All right. I thought you did turn Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, especially since you apparently have on Mars. So I thought you did really well. I feel like the moon landing had better like radio signals than you have where you live. Can you just say one small step from man, one giant leap for mankind for me rock.

Emily 1:00:03
So one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

Scott Benner 1:00:07
Right now it works. All right. Well, Emily, I really appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you very much. Hold on one second for me, okay

I want to thank Emily for coming on the show today and sharing her story. And I want to thank us med for sponsoring us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your supplies the same way we do from us MIT. Speaking of things we have dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Thanks so much for sponsoring today. Dexcom. I'm sending it over. Everyone right now. Go to the link. Everybody. Get started with the Dexcom g7 where the Dexcom G sex. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now and links at juicebox podcast.com. In case you can't remember the links I've been telling you the whole day

I've just had the diabetes Pro Tip series remastered and it's episode 1000. In your podcast player, it runs from Episode 1000 to Episode 1026. You will love the diabetes Pro Tip series. It's myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is the CDE 35 plus your type one. She's a nutritionist. She's delightful. The episodes are in my opinion. Fantastic. And I think you'll love them. They're absolutely free and they started episode 1000 the outcomes you want are possible diabetes pro tip.com or find episode 1000 In your audio player