Scott Benner 12/5/24 Scott Benner 12/5/24

#1375 Two Year Gap

Kristen shares her journey managing type 1 diabetes in her family and finding support.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of The Juicebox podcast. Welcome.

My note says, Kristen has three dogs, something like 100 chickens, four kids, and she's pregnant, but if you need to know more, she's also the mother of a child with type one diabetes. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink, ag one.com/juicebox to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice, box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange.org/juice, box. You

the show you're about to listen to is sponsored by the ever since 365 the ever since 365 has exceptional accuracy over one year and is the most accurate CGM in the low range that you can get. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox, Arden started using a contour meter because of its accuracy, but she continues to use it because it's durable and trustworthy. If you have diabetes you want the contour next gen blood glucose meter. There's already so many decisions. Let me take this one off your plate. Contour next.com/juicebox Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test can spot type one diabetes, early tap now talk to a doctor or visit screen for type one.com. For more info.

Kristen 2:29
My name is Kristen. I live in a small property in southern Idaho with what I like to call my feral children and all my little farm animals. I have four children. My third one is my type one, and we're just doing the best we can. I bet

Scott Benner 2:47
you are four kids. Yes, 1234, the third one's the type one. How old

Kristen 2:54
she is? Six, almost seven, next month. Oh, and

Scott Benner 2:57
diagnosed at four and a half. This is not very long for you. Then maybe two years, no two years in May. Okay. Did it come as a surprise? Yes,

Kristen 3:08
we have, as far as we know, no type one in either family. She has no antibodies, and she is not Modi,

Scott Benner 3:16
okay. Other kids are. How old start at the top 12,

Kristen 3:20
nine and four and a half.

Scott Benner 3:24
Kristen, you know, I have, do you listen to the podcast?

Unknown Speaker 3:27
Yes.

Scott Benner 3:28
Are you when I when I can fit in? So, you know, I'm going to ask you, are you building an army for God or a basketball team? What is it you're doing over there?

Kristen 3:35
I guess that's just the way the dice rolls. This is the part where I tell you that I just found out I'm pregnant after five years.

Scott Benner 3:43
Thank God. My intuition always pays off. Okay?

Kristen 3:48
It was very much in the loose term of, can you actually say it's a surprise? But it wasn't a surprise.

Scott Benner 3:54
Be honest with you. You walk in the room, you look at your husband, just the look on your face tells him you're pregnant, right? You don't even have to say anything, actually. No,

no. How'd it go? No.

Kristen 4:05
He was like, you've gotta, You're kidding, right? He asked if I paid my pregnant friend to take a test.

Unknown Speaker 4:11
How old are you guys?

Kristen 4:12
I am 35 almost 36 and he is 48 oh, yeah, he's old. How

Scott Benner 4:20
this happened? Kristen, what happened? Tell me you were running from your family the law. What happened?

Kristen 4:25
He looks really young. He tricked me. I was just kidding. It just happened. Our families go way back and

Scott Benner 4:33
I see Yeah, was there? Was there drinking involved in the beginning? No, no. How old were you when you got married

Unknown Speaker 4:41
1919,

Scott Benner 4:43
he did this. I think you're a victim. I

Kristen 4:47
think we can. I don't feel like a victim. People are always like, you gotta be kidding me, you know. And then you look at like, you know the olden days, and you're like, oh, oh, maybe it's not so bad. It's

Scott Benner 4:58
not crazy. Yeah, that's and. Wow. So you're going to have five kids. Do you think that'll be the end of it?

Kristen 5:03
Yes, we weren't really expecting to have five kids I have, I don't know, probably PCOS, I'm guessing, oh, and really messed up, like cycles. And apparently this one was not messed up. And what do you know?

Scott Benner 5:20
Let me ask you a question, and I hope this doesn't sound like I'm talking down to you, because I'm certainly not. But I just want to make sure about this. You know how this all works? Right?

Kristen 5:28
Yes, yes. I know how it happened. Our other kids. Like, it was not like, it was months of being like, okay, yeah, we're gonna have four kids, and it was like a process to get there. So this is the only time it's ever been like, oh, surprise. Surprise

Scott Benner 5:46
is that one of your kids or a dog?

Kristen 5:51
That's my dog, okay, bit of a ding bat. How many

Scott Benner 5:53
dogs do you have? Too many, three. Oh, my God, all right, Kristen, listen, what other animals are living things are on that property with you. We got three dogs, four kids, one cooking, a husband. Keep going, probably

Kristen 6:07
like 25 chickens, okay, three goats and a horse. What

Scott Benner 6:12
do you do with the goats? Well,

Kristen 6:13
here's the thing. The lady I bought the goats from was supposed to have castrated the mail, and she missed one, and so he reproduced with the female. And then I was like, where did that massive go piece come from? And then she popped out a baby. Yeah, apparently it's an epidemic around here, the pregnancy.

Scott Benner 6:37
You mean, yeah, surprise, yeah. When we get off later, I'm going to give you some sure fire tips to not get pregnant. Okay, yeah, I feel like, you

Kristen 6:46
know the problem is, is that I'm probably gonna get my tubes tied. Let's just be honest, because I throw up a lot when I'm pregnant. If I take birth control, it's like, I'm throwing up all day, every day, running birth control. Oh,

Scott Benner 6:59
I'm sorry, that sucks. Yeah. So it's a super

Kristen 7:02
weird like, apparently I must be sensitive to it, because I tried more than one kind, and if it has the hormones, I'm up trucking. Let's kind of ask

Scott Benner 7:12
a couple other questions before we dig into the kid with the diabetes thing. Do you have any other classic PCOS symptoms, hair, acne, weight, anything like that. Getting older means a world of change, but some things still stay the same, like being at risk for type one diabetes, because type one can happen at any age. So screen it like you mean it, if just one person in your family has type one, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too, and 50% of type one diagnoses happen after the age of 18. So screen it like you mean it type one diabetes starts long before you need insulin, and one blood test could help you spot it early and lower the risk of serious complications like diabetic ketoacidosis, known as DKA. So don't get caught by surprise. Screen it like you mean it, because getting answers now can help you get prepared. The more you know, the more you can do. So don't wait. Talk to a doctor about how to get screened. Tap now or visit screen for type one.com to learn more. Again, that's screen for type one.com and screen it like you mean it. Why would you settle for changing your CGM every few weeks when you can have 365 days of reliable glucose data? Today's episode is sponsored by the ever since 365 it is the only CGM with a tiny sensor that lasts a full year sitting comfortably under your skin with no more frequent sensor changes and essentially no compression lows. For one year, you'll get your CGM data in real time on your phone, smart watch, Android or iOS, even an Apple Watch predictive high and low alerts let you know where your glucose is headed before it gets there. So there's no surprises, just confidence, and you can instantly share that data with your healthcare provider or your family. You're going to get one year of reliable data without all those sensor changes. That's the ever since 365 gentle on your skin, strong for your life. One sensor a year, that gives you one less thing to worry about, head now to ever sense, cgm.com/juicebox, to get started. I

Kristen 9:31
had, like as a teenager, super painful like, to the point of throwing up periods and just super irregular, always, never consistent, just all over the place, interesting

Scott Benner 9:45
weight. Still, I know you're pregnant now, but prior to being pregnant,

Kristen 9:49
oh yeah. Like, I not been able to not that I've tried super hard. But, like, I weigh what I weighed after I gave birth to my last kid five years ago. Have

Scott Benner 10:00
a question, Have you considered asking your doctor for the GLP for weight loss to see if it also helps with the PCOS symptoms?

Kristen 10:08
I haven't, because I don't. I'm not like I guess it doesn't matter what you weigh, though, does it?

Scott Benner 10:13
Well, here's why I'm asking, because you don't have type two diabetes, correct? No, right. So, for instance, running my family, there's always hope. So then my point is, is that for insurance coverage, there's two ways to get to a GLP medication. You can have type two. They'll just they'll give it to you if your insurance covers it. And if you have a BMI over 27 maybe, and so if your BMI is high enough, then you can get the same medication under a different name for weight loss, and insurance will cover it. And then you could get the benefit of the weight loss part. Hopefully also, there's a lot of people out in the world talking about the benefits of it for PCOS and inflammation in general, it's something to why, yeah, there's something that looked up my BMI, you went and looked it up. Yeah, did you really that quickly? Yeah, see people here Idaho, and they think not technically adept, but no, you were right on it. You

Kristen 11:16
know what? My husband works in technology. So maybe that's where am I? You born and raised there? Yes, I have lived here all except for two years.

Scott Benner 11:24
And for those two years you were on the run from the law, but then this man found you any marriage. Was this what happened? No,

Kristen 11:30
I was in Washington because I got married. Wait a minute to

Scott Benner 11:33
him, though, right? Yes, okay, you weren't like married when you were 17. No,

Kristen 11:37
just just one marriage, just 116 and a half years, just one marriage,

Scott Benner 11:42
75 living things in there. Yes,

Kristen 11:46
oh, yeah, no, Scott, at one point, I had a chicken farm, and I had like, 150 chickens. Now what? What

Scott Benner 11:53
do you do with 150 chickens?

Kristen 11:56
Some of them were meat chickens, and then I sold the eggs. Nice. Yeah. Listen,

Scott Benner 11:59
money is a perspective thing, but is, was that a good earner for you the eggs, or was, was it a lot of work? Or how does that go? It wasn't a

Kristen 12:07
lot of work. And I did pretty good. I wouldn't say it was probably like, I mean, if you really did the math, like in a spreadsheet, I probably broke even. Was about all I did, but it was fairly steady cash flow, yeah?

Scott Benner 12:19
But not enough to buy condoms. That was the problem. Yeah,

Kristen 12:23
well, you know,

Scott Benner 12:25
all right, I love you. So far, this is great. How pregnant are you?

Kristen 12:30
Like, nine weeks get out of so

Scott Benner 12:33
am I the first person you're telling? No, my dad took care of that. Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 1 12:38
He can't keep a secret when it comes to that, I

Scott Benner 12:42
thought you were gonna just say, people just assume I'm pregnant. Like,

Kristen 12:47
I had a couple people who found out who are like, Oh, I thought so. I was like, no, no, that was just my fat.

Scott Benner 12:52
Well, I don't mean that. I just meant because you're always pregnant. I meant, like,

Kristen 12:56
five years, Scott, over five years, but

Scott Benner 13:00
12 and nine, there's three years nine and six, three years six and seven and four, three years. You're on a three year schedule until this and you don't know what it was, a wedding. Wait,

Kristen 13:11
no, we talked about having four, five kids, and then she got diagnosed with type one, and we were like, and that's I spent the last two years surviving, I guess, you know? Yeah, let's talk out what we're doing and keeping her alive and keeping myself sane. Because there was a few moments where I was like, You know what? Maybe today she's gonna run a little higher so that I'm, I'm

Scott Benner 13:35
gonna go lay down with the goats. So tell me about it. Like, what'd you see first? How'd you figure out she had type one.

Kristen 13:41
We went on a road trip from my husband at the was working in Arizona for a company based in Arizona at the time, and we went from here to Arizona, and was going to be a 14 day trip, and it was cold here, like, in the 50s, and it was like, you know, 100 and something there already, and we get down, like, kind of on the way. She was, like, really thirsty, but we were all thirsty because the transition from cool to hot, and then we get down there, and we all pick up, like, this very bad stomach bug. I'm really sick. Other kids are pretty sick, and she'd had a UTI before. So then, like, we're had a bad stomach bug. We start coming home, and she's just off. But I was like, Okay, maybe this just lingering worse for her, the stomach bug. Yeah, we get home, and she's still not herself, and she's going, you know, she's frequently urination and just off. And when she potty trained, she never wet the bed. So the night before I took her in, she wet the bed. I get her cleaned up, like, 45 minutes later, she wets the bed again. And I'm like, That's really weird. Yeah, yeah. I get up in the morning to get ready to take her to the walk in clinic, and she comes in the bathroom with me, and she's standing in the bathroom, but then I have a scale on the floor, and she steps on it. She had lost like, eight pounds. Oh, geez. And she weighed like, she's tiny. She's always been tiny. And I was like, she's lost eight pounds. Like that is

Scott Benner 15:24
alarming for a small child. Very

Kristen 15:26
alarming. Yeah. And so I google weight loss and frequent urination, and I was like, no, no, no, because the first thing that pops up is type one. It's like, There's no way. But you know it's there in my mind now. So we go to the walk in clinic. They were like, there's no one in the waiting room, but they're like, all the clinic rooms are full, yeah, so get their rooms are full. The nurse comes out and he's chats with us for a second, and he's like, I don't think she has a UTI. I want to test her blood sugar. And I was like, okay, and it was too high for the walk in cleaners reader to read. Just said hi, and he's like, Listen, guys, this is probably what it is. I also work at the emergency room. I'm going to call them. Go straight there. They're going to know you're coming. When you get there, they're going to take you right back. So we drive over to the emergency room, exactly like you said. As soon as we said, who, why, who we were and why we were there, they took us straight in, you know, and got right to fluids, blood work, calling up to the endocrinology, the Children's Hospital, and, you know, they give her some long lasting, they didn't give her any fast acting, but they did give her a shot of Lantus. I think there that quickly, yeah, wow. Like, within, like, I don't know, probably that, like, the first hour

Scott Benner 17:01
and you in the walk in clinic, this is what you thought. But we're hoping it wasn't. Is that correct?

Kristen 17:07
Yeah, yeah, because I had Googled it, and then I was like, Yeah, you weren't shocked. My husband was, and it was a big shock to him, like he wasn't expect, you know, you know, you don't expect it. I don't think ever. No, of course, not something that, until it's on your radar. You don't, you know, not something you ever think about. Did

Scott Benner 17:28
you not share with him on the way there, when we

Kristen 17:31
pulled in the parking lot, he was like, Don't say that, which I totally, I mean, totally get Yeah, you don't want to think about it as being that way. She was not in DKA, but probably, if we had waited until the next day, her labs were really borderline, that she was very close to could

Scott Benner 17:52
have been it, yeah, well, it sounds like we were, yeah. It sounds like she was close, but then they'd get her in and out of there pretty quickly.

Kristen 17:58
No, so then we got transferred to the children's hospital by ambulance, and we stayed three days. I think it was there,

Scott Benner 18:09
okay, yeah, and what? And was there, like, education, there stuff like that,

Kristen 18:14
yeah. So then they had CDE, what do they call them? Now, I don't even know. CDE.

Scott Benner 18:19
CDC. CDE. E, C, S is, yeah, yeah. I got it

Kristen 18:24
something like that. You know who I mean there, my husband went home to the other kids, because it was like, at this point, we'd been at the other hospital all day, almost, and it was like, 10 o'clock, I think, when we got transferred, because they we had to wait for the ambulance. So I met the endocrinologist, and then the next day they came with the educator, started coming, and then she really perked up. And we were there for a couple days. And we left with a libre because at the time, our insurance was not super great. And so,

Scott Benner 18:56
oh, so, so you're listening. You left the hospital with a CGM. That's pretty terrific, honestly,

Kristen 19:02
right? Yes, and they would have the the endocrinologist office would have preferred Dexcom, but

Scott Benner 19:07
that's what your insurance covered. Yeah. Okay, and so now you're home and you have, Jesus, did you have? You did, right? One of your kids was barely two. Your youngest was like two at the time, right? Yes, okay. You have a four and a half year old with type one, a two year old back then, a seven year old and a 10 year old. And your husband, I assume, works all day, not home

Kristen 19:31
at the time. He was actually working from home only,

Scott Benner 19:35
okay. Oh, was this COVID Or No?

Kristen 19:39
No. This was that job that we went to Arizona for, it was a strictly work from home position, so he was home with me.

Scott Benner 19:47
You didn't mention that before. I heard Washington before, but not Arizona.

Kristen 19:50
When we took that trip to Arizona that we got back from that she was sick. I

Scott Benner 19:54
see, I see, okay. So you guys are at least in the house together. Are you guys handling it well? Did he stay shell shocked, or did he pull out of it?

Kristen 20:02
I feel like, just, I don't like, the first two months are just like a blur of terrible, no good. Feeling like, how am I gonna How am I gonna sustain this long term? And looking back, it's just the, like, the shock of it all. I don't know that people can be more sensitive, but she's on a she's on Omnipod five right now. Anytime that we've switched back to MDI, and you give her Landis, she gets really low all the time on it, like you can cut it back. And she's high during the day, but as soon as she goes to sleep, she gets really low.

Scott Benner 20:38
How come? You bounce back and forth last

Kristen 20:41
summer swimming every single day that the Omnipod fell off in the pool. She was like, I don't want to put a new one on. I want to go. I want to just take shots. And I was like, okay, okay. We did, like, a month, and it was horrible. And it was like, we're gonna go back on the pump.

Scott Benner 20:58
I didn't enjoy this, did you? No, let's go, yeah. But I want to go back through the more like, kind of like personal psychological stuff, really, because you said a couple times you felt like you just couldn't handle it. And I'd like to hear more about that. What happened in the beginning? How did it build? Where did you kind of come undone? The contour next gen blood glucose meter is the meter that we use here. Arden has one with her at all times. I have one downstairs in the kitchen, just in case I want to check my blood sugar. And Arden has them at school. They're everywhere that she is. Contour next.com/juicebox test strips and the meters themselves may be less expensive for you, in cash out of your pocket than you're paying currently through your insurance. For another meter. You can find out about that and much more at my link, contour next.com/juice, box contour makes a number of fantastic and accurate meters, and their second chance. Test strips are absolutely my favorite part. What does that mean? If you go to get some blood and maybe you touch it, and, I don't know, stumble with your hand and, like, slip off and go back, it doesn't impact the quality or accuracy of the test. So you can hit the blood, not get enough, come back, get the rest, without impacting the accuracy of the test. That's right, you can touch the blood, come back and get the rest, and you're going to get an absolutely accurate test contour next.com forward slash Juicebox. You're going to get a great reading without having to be perfect. This

Kristen 22:37
is where my husband, like says that I'm a rule follower, which I very much am. But I realized after a few months that the endocrinologist office, they're like, super well, exception of one person, are really nice people. They'll let your kid run like, 300 and be like, Oh, it's fine. And I realized that listening to you, I'm not saying I'm doing a great job right now. We're, like, living in a dumpster fire, but at the time, I was like, Oh, I don't have to call them every time I think something needs change. I don't have to tell them everything I'm doing, because their advice isn't always helpful.

Scott Benner 23:13
Because they'd be okay. They'd be okay with a 300 blood sugar. Yeah. So, okay, okay,

Kristen 23:19
it was only a little while, right? You know,

Scott Benner 23:23
so you you're listening to them in the beginning, yeah? And

Kristen 23:27
because you know that's what you think they know more than you, because you have no idea, and you've just been thrust into a situation that you like are totally blindsided by, right? And then one day, you wake up and you're like, I I'm gonna be okay. We're all gonna be okay. She hasn't died. We haven't killed her. Take a deep breath and, like, step back almost a little bit and look at the bigger picture of what's going on, and it's gonna be okay. And so

Scott Benner 23:57
that's what happened to you. You You gathered yourself, and you were like, there's got to be better information than what I have.

Kristen 24:03
Yeah, and I don't remember where I saw, you know, in what you know, you know, as Facebook, you find a group. I was like, mom's, I don't know, I won't name names, like, you know, some group, and then someone mentioned you and I was like, oh, that sounds interesting.

Unknown Speaker 24:17
Okay, so how

Scott Benner 24:19
long was that time? Kristen, like, between diagnosis and, like, coming out of the cloud at

Kristen 24:24
least a month or more,

Unknown Speaker 24:25
that's not bad at all. I

Kristen 24:26
think I found you, like, three weeks in maybe, okay, here's the hole where we circle to before she got diagnosed. We got back from that trip. We already had a trip where we're gonna pull our RV trailer, and my husband's family had moved to Texas, and we had this six week RV trip planned to drive to Texas and back, and we still ended up going, but we didn't take the RV and we stayed at hotels because it was like, the spacing of our trip to take the RV was a little funky. And we were like, We need to be able to just stop. Wherever we are if we need to, as opposed to making sure we get to our RV reservations. Okay, like a month, three, four weeks in diagnosis, we drove from Idaho to Texas, and it actually went pretty well. We were I was terrified, but I think it almost instead of being able to be like, at home wallowing in our Oh no, it forced me to, like, just deal with it in life and be like, okay, we can return to life, and we can have somewhat sense of normality if we just get back out there and do it right.

Scott Benner 25:38
So you just like, well, that's great. So you're like, I'm gonna go try something. It worked. Like, and you even went on the one trip and just kind of left out the RV part, but you still win. Yeah, all right. And then yeah, did it again. So you're building some confidence. You're like, okay, like, that worked. Let's try something else. And that works, so great, and we'll keep moving. Like, when you get to the Facebook group for the podcast, like, what is that like? Because you've only had it's only three weeks, but you've had this direction for three weeks now you're seeing people speak another way. Is it hard to take in new ideas, or are you looking for them and welcoming them? No,

Kristen 26:15
I was looking for them, and I was like, wow. Like, I can't remember what the first podcast I listened to us, but it was one that, like the beginning series once, and I was like, Oh, this makes so much more sense than what they told me at the doctor's office. Like, if your kid is eating and then eating more, that's not stacking, like, if you don't give them more insulin for the more food they eat, they're obviously going to go high.

Scott Benner 26:39
Okay, so that that's the first thing that threw you off was the don't stack insulin thing,

Kristen 26:45
yeah? And I was like, Well, you know, thinking, what if she's eating more? How is that stacking? You know? But I really came into it with no idea of any of it, you know. So the notes you take, what they tell you, and you're like, Okay, this is what they said. So it must be how it is. And then you're like, oh, but these other ideas make way more sense in reality. Does

Scott Benner 27:09
it help to see other people doing it too, so that you can kind of make the leap?

Speaker 1 27:14
Yeah, I think so. Okay, be under this is

Scott Benner 27:21
that the four year old? Yes, okay, I was hoping

Kristen 27:26
he's gonna go read a book under his blanket. Nice.

Scott Benner 27:28
That's a good plan, actually. Okay, so you you find other information. The first thing that strikes you maybe is like, just because we ate at 9am and I gave insulin, doesn't mean that at 1030 when more food comes, I don't need more insulin, right? That's something,

Kristen 27:47
you know, because they're Yeah, because, you know, they're very much like, Oh, if you gave insulin, don't but they those first couple weeks, they don't explain to you that, you know, food needs insulin. They're just like, Oh, if you gave food down, they wanted, like, a really set meal schedule, like, she could have breakfast and then, you know, a snack, and then lunch, and then a snack, and then dinner. And it's like, get her started on insulin the first week or two home, and she's just ravenous. Yeah, it's like, how are you I can't keep her too. Like, free solid meals and two snacks. She thinks she's dying. She's literally hysterically hungry,

Scott Benner 28:23
and you're telling her, no, no, no, we're not gonna eat for three more hours. Yeah. And

Kristen 28:27
then I was like, this is not gonna work. This is not working

Scott Benner 28:31
well then. But why does your husband call you a rule follower? Because it looks like you, you broke out of that pretty quickly.

Kristen 28:36
I mean, like in in general, in life, okay, yeah, in general, did

Scott Benner 28:41
he want you to go away from the rules from the doctor's office? No, no, I

Kristen 28:46
don't. Honestly, I'm the 90% primary caregiver of diabetes, right? Okay? Like he's a really heavy sleeper so he doesn't hear alarms at night. And you know, you should

Scott Benner 28:59
tell him you're a heavy sleeper. See if you can get him promise

Speaker 1 29:02
I am very much not no, no kidding. You very light sleepers pop right up. Yeah, yeah.

Kristen 29:08
I have to be, like, fully exhausted to not

Scott Benner 29:13
to sleep through, yeah, yeah. Tell you what, since the algorithms, I'm okay now I can sleep. Yeah, it doesn't feel the same to me anymore, like I don't sleep. Yeah, it'll feel like I'm sleeping through fear, if that makes sense,

Kristen 29:28
yeah, I totally understand that. Yeah, I've

Scott Benner 29:31
never been at war, but I imagine that people with diabetes, kids with diabetes, sleep like they're they think somebody's about to attack all the time. You know, I'm saying, so, yeah, okay. So I'm so sorry.

Kristen 29:43
I likened it to, like, having a newborn baby without the good sides, like you have it wakes you up at night. It, you know, like, I don't know. I had postpartum anxiety after the last one when I realized what it was, but it was also like, straight into COVID. And then I was like, oh. I feel like the bad anxiety. That's what's wrong with me.

Scott Benner 30:03
You had this after your after your last baby. Yeah, okay. I

Kristen 30:07
realized it was, like, postpartum anxiety. And then, I mean, not that I was immediately fine, but once I realized it was anxiety, like, I was like, Okay, I'm feeling anxious, like, deep breath and like, I could work through it, but I feel like that anxiety you get, like, I had that after she was diagnosed, too. It was like you're laying there, like, is she gonna go high? She's gonna go low?

Scott Benner 30:31
Yeah, just the unknown, constantly being on top of you, yes, yeah, yeah. I understand it's a

Kristen 30:39
parent you want the very best for your kids, and you're like, am I failing you? Am I doing the best I can? And, you know, I'm not always the best. Sometimes she's high. I'm pretty sure she had, like, a really long honeymoon, and as she's coming out of it, like

Scott Benner 30:56
you're starting to see the full impact of it. Now, yeah,

Kristen 31:00
we've, we've had some ugly numbers lately. But, you know,

Scott Benner 31:05
I just what's that look like when you say ugly numbers? What? What numbers you talking about?

Kristen 31:08
Like, running in the two hundreds for a day, an hour a week, a couple hours in the day, a couple hours like, you know, mostly post meal. And I've adjusted her carb ratios.

Scott Benner 31:23
What's your level of anxiety and comfort now? Like, do you feel better?

Kristen 31:28
Yes, yeah, I've calmed down. I guess you could say a little bit. And I realized, you know what? Like, I don't want her to run high long term, but I don't need to freak out. If she's running a little high, just give insulin, work through it. I have a love hate with the five. Sometimes think about changing, okay? Something else. Thought about looping, because my husband could handle the you know, if we needed to change stuff in I don't know. I haven't looked that much into

Scott Benner 31:59
it. What's everyone see last time it was 7.2 okay, she

Kristen 32:04
has an endo appointment tomorrow, and it's probably going to be right at that seven ish. When she was MDI, she was in the sixes, but she also had a lot of lows when we were MDI.

Scott Benner 32:16
And you think honeymoon as well.

Kristen 32:19
Yes, they she definitely, like, even the endocrinologist, because we see, like, a PA, and then once a year, she sees the actual endocrinologist. And he was like, in December even, he was like, wow, she's like, been honeymooning this whole time, off and on and out. You know? I was like, Yeah, six ish, once I feel like I'm homeschooling her because I don't trust the school nurse.

Scott Benner 32:46
Okay, all right, all right. So she so she'll still be with you, is my point. So now, as the as the as the honeymoon wanes and you get back into it like so you're pre Bolus in your meals. Yes,

Speaker 1 32:58
that's something we struggle with? Okay, well, that's

Scott Benner 33:02
probably where I'm working on, yeah, I would imagine that's where some of your issues are coming from. Most of our problems are coming from. Okay, what? What stops you just being busy with all the kids, yeah?

Kristen 33:13
Or she just, like, I give her insulin, and she, you know, they want to run outside. So they all just start scarping down their food and take off. So

Scott Benner 33:23
she eats it real quickly before the insulin can even get working, yeah? But then runs around, and then there's that to contend with as well. Yeah, all right, well, I'm sorry you were gonna get you were gonna just

Kristen 33:33
had our church camp, so like the first two days, so like the first night from all the activity just absolutely in the basement. The next day, I adjust her settings so that she would run a little higher, so she'd have like, a ton of lows. Because, I mean, like, I barely see her, she has her phone, like she was low. I'd call her and she'd be like, Oh, I'm eating glucose tab small. I'm fine and so, but then at night, when she laid down, like, just in the basement.

Scott Benner 34:01
She got really low. Then, after the running around all day, yeah, so

Kristen 34:06
then I just adjust, adjusted her targets to higher on the five and, you know, then the opposite happens, then

Speaker 1 34:13
she got high afterwards. Yeah, well, which, obviously, I

Kristen 34:17
mean, the lack of, you know, if it's cut the basal, then it's gonna gonna have

Scott Benner 34:21
highs later, yeah? Like, culturally, I it's not something I'm aware of. So let me make sure I understand it. There's a camp that goes on for a couple of days. You're there, but you really don't see her. Yes, she's just off messing around with the kids. My statement

Kristen 34:37
about children, children running feral, yeah, like 60 kids, and they're just this property is, you know, fenced essentially, and they're just everywhere. They're

Scott Benner 34:47
everywhere and there's food, and it's not timed and like, it's not like there's like, they can grab stuff if they need to, or, no,

Kristen 34:55
no, it was meals, okay, but they're just all over the. Place, right? So

Scott Benner 35:00
a lot of running around, yes,

Kristen 35:03
lots of running around Gaga ball, which some wild game that children love. Gaga ball, yeah, it's literally like an octagon for children. And they have a ball and they have like sides, and they like dodge ball, in an octagon is the closest thing I can

Scott Benner 35:24
use to describe it. You're describing MMA dodgeball to me, like a

Unknown Speaker 35:28
very wild Yeah,

Scott Benner 35:29
and where are you doing? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 35:31
during that like, they're

Kristen 35:32
like, Look mom. Look Mom. I got bloody knuckles, and my oldest daughter is great about checking on her.

Scott Benner 35:41
You guys are camp directors, yeah,

Kristen 35:43
so this is for our church. So it's not like, it's not random people we don't know or anything. It's all people we know,

Scott Benner 35:50
right? But you guys are all doing the things, and their kids are off, yeah, okay, and, but still, she makes it through the day, no problem. But then there's lows, like, late and lows later at night after she lays down, I imagine,

Kristen 36:02
yeah, yeah, that's where they're coming in. How long this is that? Like, 48

Scott Benner 36:08
Okay, have you tried giving her something before she goes to bed to help hold up her blood sugar? Yeah?

Kristen 36:14
But she doesn't always, you know, I don't know. Doesn't always. I don't at that point, the first night that she was low, I hadn't switched. Like, you know, it's one of those things, like, I laid down. I'm like, Oh, I made a run higher before bed, she had had a snack. But I think the algorithm responded to her rising blood sugar aggressively. And then, yeah,

Scott Benner 36:39
my point wouldn't be so much to, like, drive her blood sugar up, just maybe protein, yeah, protein, or something like, like, maybe with a little bit of fat in it, or something to slow her digestion down, to hold what's in her stomach there while she's sleeping, to get through that low part. Kristen, do you mind, like, some reflection from me? Oh, no,

Unknown Speaker 36:55
that's fine, okay, I'm good at that.

Scott Benner 36:57
It feels like everything's happening two beats ahead of you. Does that make sense, right? Yeah. And so you need to move your effort to where it's valuable, so that you're making decisions that impact instead of responding to problems. If that makes sense, does that make sense? No, that totally makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So your efforts there, I think it's just slightly misplaced on the timeline of events, if that makes, I mean, that's the way I think about it, exactly, totally okay, yeah. Like, how do you handle that with all I mean, Jesus, and you're gonna be pregnant now.

Unknown Speaker 37:35
Oh, it'll be fine, yeah,

Scott Benner 37:37
you're, you're like, I don't care. It'll be a none of this matters. No.

Kristen 37:39
So that was, like, the first day, and then the second day, I was like, oh, duh. Adjust her target so that it's not correcting, you know, 110 110 make it, you know, either 110 120 or 121 20, and then

Scott Benner 37:54
that kind of makes it less aggressive. She can run around more. Doesn't

Kristen 37:57
get the second day. During the day, I adjusted it, and then I adjusted it to, I think, 121 30 at night, and then she was running, like, in the 120s and I was like, Okay, it's gonna be, I can sleep, yeah, but it's like, sometimes, you know, my brain is like a lagging Windows computer. And it was like, oh, duh, I changed some things. We're not going to have these problems like you're saying, like reacting sooner, as opposed to reacting right?

Scott Benner 38:25
Well now, you know, though, I mean, the next time you went to a camp situation, I bet you would do it going into the first day, yes, yeah, yeah. Also, I mean, that's what it is, really. You just got to figure things out as it comes. And the 70 1c first of all, nothing wrong with it, no, if you could work on just meal timing, you could probably see a six, you know what I mean, yeah.

Kristen 38:49
And since last year, like, last year, she was averaging, I think, seven units a day, okay, like, that was her, that was her average on the five, like, seven to eight units a day. Yeah, she's little, she's Yeah. And now she's averaging like 10 to 15, or, I think she's been using like 13 to 14,

Scott Benner 39:09
yeah. It's gonna Yeah. She gains weight. You're gonna see it go up, yeah.

Kristen 39:13
And so, you know, slowly adjusting to those changes and realizing, okay, you know, when you go from like, both seeing a half a unit is a like a lot, to then, like, one, and, you know, like, for other people, these are tiny numbers, but like, she's so tiny. And now we're like, you know, I bowl this for a meal, and it's like, two units. Like, wow, that's so much. But in reality, it's

Scott Benner 39:37
takes you a little time, yeah, she grows. It takes you time to get accustomed to it, right?

Kristen 39:41
Yeah? Like my mom, she's like, Are you sure? Are you sure? Like, when she watches her, like, what the pump is saying now, she's like, Are you sure? And I'm like, That's not sure. Yeah, be okay.

Scott Benner 39:53
It's a common issue, yeah, especially when you start out with very young and very small and you. Know, honeymoon on top of all that. And then those numbers feel big and they're scary. And my

Kristen 40:05
dad has type two. So my mom, you know, her knowledge of it comes from the type two side. And so, you know, when she was first diagnosed, she's like, Oh, what about like, like, yeah, you can change it with diet. You can affect blood sugars with diet. But mom, it's not, it's not the same as type two. You're not gonna change at all with diet. Oh,

Scott Benner 40:24
doesn't work that way. Oh, you're getting the like, can't we make this go away if she eats differently from your mom? Yeah,

Kristen 40:30
yeah. And she made, you know, it's like, from a place of, like, misunderstanding and love, of course. That makes sense, right? Of course. Yeah. So, like, my dad lost, you know, 75 pounds or something, and he's really skinny now, and his numbers are better. And it's like, that's good, but she gotta, like, it's not the same might have the same name, but it is not the same thing, right?

Scott Benner 40:52
She's looking, she's looking at that. And how old is your mom, too?

Speaker 1 40:57
Um, 60. Okay, two. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 41:00
she she's trying to help, but she doesn't quite understand. Yeah,

Kristen 41:03
how old is she? Oh, you

Scott Benner 41:05
don't know how old she is. She's probably 59 actually. Okay, I love that. You don't know how old your mom is. It's fantastic. My

Kristen 41:13
dad is 62 that's where I'm confused. Okay?

Scott Benner 41:16
And how long did he have type two before he made some changes for himself and worked things out.

Kristen 41:23
He lost a lot of weight, probably, like, 10 or 12 years ago, and he was doing really good, like, with his diet. And then he's like, Well, I'm skinny, and he kind of slipped off the eating good wagon. And then his blood sugar's high, so he's still skinny, but then he had high blood sugar because he wasn't eating right. And then, I don't know what it is. Now, I tried to convince him to try CGM, but he was real stubborn about

Scott Benner 41:49
it. Yeah, it's a shame they're very helpful.

Kristen 41:53
Yeah, it runs in my dad's family. And my uncle, he was in denial for years, like quite large and he, in the last year and a half, he has a CGM, he started taking insulin, like, just long lasting, I don't know what kind he's, you know, doesn't communicate well, but, and he also got, I think I said that he got a CGM, and he actually is, like, losing weight. I haven't asked him. I think he might be on a GLP one too. Oh,

Scott Benner 42:20
good. Well, listen, I mean, with what you're talking about, with your dad's background, and you have PCOS, you you're on the lookout for yourself, I imagine too, yes,

Kristen 42:29
once this child comes forth, I will be losing the weight that has been lingering.

Scott Benner 42:37
Comes forth. Is that how? Yes, that will happen magically with with music and lighting and everything. No,

Kristen 42:45
no. I had my own other health struggles. My first child, I had preclaimed, sure, really bad and almost died, literally. The second one, I had very mildly and had no problems. After with my type one, I had postpartum hypertension, and with the fourth one I did, so also, so, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 43:04
yeah, you okay, yeah,

Kristen 43:06
I'm fine. Do you ever worried about it?

Scott Benner 43:08
Yeah, do you ever like stop and think about yourself a little bit? Yeah, I do. What do you come up with when you're thinking,

Kristen 43:16
Oh, I'm crazy? Totally obviously.

Scott Benner 43:20
Why do you think that I'm clearly

Kristen 43:21
crazy?

Unknown Speaker 43:25
Why do you think that I

Kristen 43:27
think people think that about me, I don't feel crazy. I mean, everybody feels a little crazy sometimes. I mean, there's days where I'm like, I am crazy. What am I doing to myself? But other days I'm like, You know what? Life is good, and life is what you make of it so,

Scott Benner 43:42
you know, no your best.

What would happen if another problem popped up? Would you be like? Do you think that would be too much? You think you could do it?

Kristen 43:53
I think I could do it. I mean, I might have a brief breakdown, definitely. You know, I think we're all entitled to a breakdown when life throws you major unexpected curves, but overall,

Scott Benner 44:05
gotta you try to pivot and move with it. Yeah, yeah. Go back a little bit for me, after you find the Facebook group, you listen to the podcast. I always wonder how people absorb it, like, because in my mind, like, I want you to listen through the bold beginning series in the beginning, and then I you know, if once it makes sense, I hope you move on to pro tip and other stuff like that. But did you actually do that, or what? How did you manage it?

Kristen 44:30
I'm pretty sure listen to all of bold beginnings on our long road trip. I think the one my husband was like, What are you listening to? And one that definitely stands out is that I played him, what is it? But whole adjacent, and he was then he was like, really, like, what are you listening to? But my kids were like, Mom, Mom, can we listen to that guy? That was great. And then the pro tips, and then I've jumped around all over, like, most of the time I listen when I'm mowing the. On. I think the last one I listened to was about, you're talking about, um, she like a child psychologist or something, uh, Erica, one of the last ones. Yes, I've listened to some of the ones with Erica

Scott Benner 45:16
resilience. Yes, yeah, we just put up that resilience series. It's only two episodes for now, but, Oh, see,

Kristen 45:23
whatever was right before that, I don't know, my brain is lagging. Stop.

Scott Benner 45:30
Let's stop all this for a second. Tell me about your day. What time does it start?

Kristen 45:34
Oh, we're not morning, people. Two of my kids are out of bed right now, and it's 950 in the morning, but we also, my husband took this morning are they're not really related to us, but our niece and nephew to the airport for them to go back to the East Coast. They were visiting for two weeks, so we've had a very off and jam packed schedule of them visiting and staying up late with them, but we are up and moving around 10. We do school because I homeschool them after breakfast. So we get up, we have breakfast, we do school. Lunch, they do their chores, then they get free time, and they're usually done with school by right after lunch. Then they run around and do their thing, which lately has been tadpoles. They got a bunch of tadpoles, and now they got little baby frogs, and they're super excited about that. With

Scott Benner 46:23
the kids spread out in age. Though, do you do kind of school them together? Or how do you accomplish that? The oldest

Kristen 46:28
one is fairly independent, so I just check her work and make sure that we're, you know, she's understanding everything. Well, the nine year old, I do school with him. I sit with them and we do it together. And then my little one's just in kindergarten, and her and I sit down together, and it's, you know, pretty basic math and language arts for her. So I sit with those two. That takes an hour, hour and a half the two of them. So three hours, right with both of them, and little guy just plays. Pretty happy little guy. I don't

Scott Benner 47:02
know anything about this. How do you know what to talk to them about At what ages? Is there like a curriculum online you can get or how does that work?

Kristen 47:09
There is the world of homeschooling is vast, and there is curriculum under every genre you can think of, from Christian to secular to like Charlotte Mason is like all book based, and you just living. You just education type, yeah, so you can buy there's online programs where it's all on the computer, just whatever is your favorite, I guess, whatever works for you. And I do a mix of three or four different things that I put together that you liked, or what? Yeah,

Scott Benner 47:45
did you go to college? How did you like? What? What was your schooling like?

Kristen 47:49
I did two years of college, okay,

Scott Benner 47:52
what were you working at?

Kristen 47:53
I was going to probably nursing school, and I got married, and then I dropped out, okay? And then I had kids. Gotcha, I actually right before, if I got diagnosed, I had signed up to go to school to be a surgical tech, and I obviously that didn't happen, because I was, like, staying home with her and making sure she's fine is going to be what I do.

Scott Benner 48:17
But when you thought about doing that, was it for like, enrichment? Like, you're like, you're like, Oh, I just want to learn something. I want to go do something. Was it for money? Was it like a calling? What? What had that in your head? I've

Kristen 48:28
always liked medical stuff. Like, I find it fascinating. A good friend of mine is actually a trauma surgeon, and so, like, you know, I just, I don't know. I always found medicine interesting. The human body is amazing, and just out of personal interest, I guess, like, I thought it would be, that would be interesting, something you

Scott Benner 48:47
would like, okay, but now your husband, he's independently wealthy, because he's paying for you those five kids and all those chickens, right? Like, or, what is like? What is he What kind of work does he do? Forget what he does exactly.

Kristen 48:59
He's in technology. He took the job he has now because, well, he's very happy there, so it wasn't the only reason, but they don't, they pay all your insurance premiums, and so we don't have to pay premiums. And that was a

Scott Benner 49:16
big weight loss, a big draw, yeah, no, I would imagine, right?

Kristen 49:21
Yeah, so, but he loves his job. It's great. He's very happy there. And I'm pretty sure they're happy with him, because cool, gets a lot of work done for him.

Scott Benner 49:32
Excellent. No, it's fantastic. And he's and he gets everyone works from home now. So, yeah, he doesn't, no, he goes, now, he goes in,

Kristen 49:39
now, he goes, he goes in. Now that's okay.

Scott Benner 49:44
When the kids get older, like, you keep doing this, like, through high school years and etc. Like, is your expectation? Like, that they'll be able to get a job in technology, go to college. Like, be homemakers themselves. Like, like, Do you have a feeling for what? Direction they're moving in, or you just, it's a wait and see. For me,

Kristen 50:02
it's a wait and see. Because I don't, you know, you got to find what's your passion in life. I grew up doing a mix of private school and home school, and so, like, I mean, my senior year of high school, I just went to college. Well, I didn't finish college. I, you know, it was, I got into college and I was going to college. You have to wait and see whatever. You know you want to go into the trades. Go into the trades. You want to go to college. Go to college. What? What do you want to do when you're old enough to know what you want to do? Right?

Scott Benner 50:34
Did you find college manageable coming out of homeschooling?

Speaker 1 50:38
Yes, you did very okay, yeah, and

Scott Benner 50:41
your mom not did this for you growing up. She did, yeah, yeah. How many brothers and sisters do you have? One brother and one sister? One, just three of you. I see. What can I ask? What they do now, like, vaguely, my

Kristen 50:55
brother owns a trucking company in my sister is finishing her degree in she had a double major, and I don't know what the other one was, but the one is in Spanish, and she was getting her teaching certificate

Scott Benner 51:11
for her. Good for all of you, that's fantastic. Yeah, really nice. She

Kristen 51:15
Yeah, she was working and going to school online, so she's been

Scott Benner 51:21
just getting that all together. Do they have any kids? Do any of their kids have auto immune issues? No.

Kristen 51:26
My sister has one daughter and just a peanut allergy that we know of. My brother has three children and not that we know of, but his sister in law has type one his wife's side.

Scott Benner 51:40
Okay, how about on your husband's side? Is there any auto immune over there? Not that we

Kristen 51:45
can think of. Okay, but my, my paternal grandfather, had Addison's disease.

Scott Benner 51:50
Okay, well, there's one, and they said

Kristen 51:53
that he's tight. He he passed away in like 2001 they said that he was type two. But all I remember from my childhood isn't being really low. A lot blood sugar is low. And yeah, so they said he was type two, but I remember him having lots of lows, and he took some kind of oral medication, but no one, I mean, nobody knows what it was. Now, no one can remember, remember

Scott Benner 52:15
to tell you. So do you see any thyroid, celiac, anything like that going on. Oh, my maternal

Kristen 52:22
grandmother has Hashimotos. Okay, yeah,

Scott Benner 52:26
well, yeah, a lot of it seems like it flows up your line then, and then the Yeah, and then PCOS for you, which sounds like it's been terrible. Did they do anything for that? By the way, have you ever gotten like, help with the PCOS stuff? Or they just tell you to tough it out. No,

Kristen 52:43
I guess I never asked like, I was never like, what can I do? I started taking, like, shortly, when I was in my early 20s, I started doing a lot of like, research, and I started taking, like, some supplements that helped a lot, like take NAC, and what is that other one? It's in that, oh, the stool, oh my word. What is that stuff called? It's in that stuff that you talk about Arden taking

Scott Benner 53:13
of acetal. In acetal, maybe, yes,

Speaker 1 53:16
that, and that helped a lot,

Scott Benner 53:21
but you stopped taking it.

Kristen 53:23
Well, you know, when I remember I've been taking it lately. You

Scott Benner 53:27
know what? I realized this whole conversation I had

Kristen 53:30
my last kid, since I had my last kid, it wasn't painful, it was just super irregular.

Scott Benner 53:34
I realized that your kids are all three years apart, except for this last pregnancy, that was five. But that the the but the diabetes came a couple years ago, so the diabetes paused. Your pattern is what I think happened, yeah, yeah,

Kristen 53:49
after the last one was born, I, you know, didn't I was breastfeeding, so it was, you know, I didn't have a period for a while. When it came back, it was actually fairly regular. She got diagnosed, and I didn't have one for like six months. Like, the stress just

Scott Benner 54:04
threw you off. Oh yeah. But it also probably threw off your relationship stuff too, right, with your husband,

Kristen 54:10
oh yeah. Like, she started, she was sleeping in our room, and just, you know, I feel like, for like that first year, just everything is out of whack, yeah, at least for us. And then, like, the second year, like, after her first diversity, then it was like, you know, we all felt like we were living again. I guess, you know, you can kind of turn your focus a little more to just back to life, and, like, you realize you're going to be okay, she's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay, right? And you just

Scott Benner 54:39
get back into it again. Yeah, yeah. Well, I am very happy that the Facebook group helped you and and all that other stuff happened that's fantastic. Are you still in the group? Yes, you are, okay, cool, yeah. Just, I'm thrilled for you, like, I'm so happy that something happened that helped you and, and you know that you you have. There is a resource, if you want to go back to whatever that you're pulling your way forward and getting through it and listen. The other thing is, I'll just tell you, from a person who's been through it, to you a four, five year old, three year old with type one diabetes, is it's hard, like it's really, really hard. It's overwhelming. It's not a time that I remember, even it does feel like you're constantly battling something, and there's a lot of other stuff that you're doing, but you don't quite know that if you're focused on anything, or all of it, or some of it, and it really does get better as time goes on. So I hope, I hope you can, you know, that. And

Kristen 55:40
like, yes. And it's like, at the two year mark, I was like, You know what, we're gonna be okay. We are gonna be okay. But she was, you know, she was four, and she didn't understand, like, why is my mom poking my finger and stabbing me? Like, you know, that's what's happening in her mind. And it's like, just trying to keep you alive.

Scott Benner 55:59
Yeah, it's not a thing. It's easy to explain to anybody.

Kristen 56:02
No, no, no. And then she had a that was the other thing I forgot. She ended up having to have an appendectomy, like, six months in an emergency one, like, thought it was the flu. She's throwing up, really can't keep anything down. She gets ketones, and my husband are like, You know what? We're just going to the emergency room because, like, she can't keep anything down. Obviously, we're not going to get anywhere here. Take her in, and it's her appendix. Same thing, we have to be transferred to the Children's Hospital. The best part of that was the on call pediatrician also was a patient at the same office, and she wrote the orders for admission that I gotta make all the decisions for the diabetes, because if they went off with the current, you know, ratios were at the from the Endo. I mean, she was just low for days like and if they'd given her as much insulin as, you know, the original order said, then she would have just it would have been horrible, but they let me make those decisions.

Scott Benner 57:05
Is it uncommon for kids to have an appendectomy at that age?

Kristen 57:09
I don't know. They didn't act like it was super unusual. They were just like, Oh no, it's definitely her appendix.

Unknown Speaker 57:18
Super interesting.

Kristen 57:22
Yeah, it was like, like, are they more prone? Like, I wouldn't think you'd be more prone to it because you have but I guess your body doesn't fight infection as well, maybe, if. But it's not like she had out of like, her blood sugars weren't out of control. Like, she had fairly good like, in that time frame, her numbers were pretty good.

Scott Benner 57:40
They don't know that. You could blame it on diabetes control, but I'm just appendicitis is less common in young children compared to older children adults, but it can still occur. Young children may not be Yeah, like,

Kristen 57:50
is this the flu? And then it was like, we get to the hospital, and the doctor's like, Huh? He pokes her stomach, and she starts, like, sobbing. He was like, Yeah, we're gonna do an ultrasound. And then when they popped the ultrasound on, it was, you could see it. It was like, Yeah, they did the contrast of, like, the blood flow colors. And it was like, Oh, yes, I see definitely, yeah, I

Scott Benner 58:15
don't, I guess I don't see how type one would have an impact on whether or not you're appendix one, yeah, but it's, I think it's just a random thing. Yeah, that's crazy, though, because I had mine out when I was, I think Cole was like two, so, like, 20 some years ago. But I don't have any, like, medical background to draw from, because I'm adopted, so I don't, I don't know if that's a thing that happened, a thing that happens to us or not, or something like that. You know,

Kristen 58:41
I think it could just be super random. My husband had his out in his 30s. Oh, okay. Oh. I mean, maybe it's a, I think it's just a random, yeah, very well could be all right, one last thing I got to worry about now, huh?

Scott Benner 58:54
Listen, I get if there's other organs I can get rid of, I'd like to know what they are too. I'm looking to slim down. Kristen. Is there anything we haven't talked about that we should

Kristen 59:02
have? I don't think so. Unless you got anything, got any more questions? I

Scott Benner 59:06
don't feel like I do. I'm pretty good with this. Actually, I think I got through what I wanted to pick through your story. It's kind of you to come on in the middle of, like, the summer with all the little kids and being pregnant, etc. You know, I know it's a lot, and it's much earlier there than it is here. So thank you very much. Thanks for having me. No, it's obviously Terrific. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 59:29
Can you hold from podcast? Wait, wait, I

Scott Benner 59:30
want you to hold on, but I don't want you to hang right up, but like when I stopped, but what were you gonna say? I'm sorry. Oh, I

Unknown Speaker 59:36
was just gonna

Kristen 59:37
say, I appreciate the podcast. And when I do listen, I always get something that I'm like, Oh, I if I apply that here, then

Scott Benner 59:45
gonna work better. That's cool. That's so that's my hope for it really. So that's fantastic. Okay, all right. Well, thank you so much. Hold on one second for me. Okay.

It a huge thanks to the contour next gen blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Learn more and get started today at contour next.com/juice box. This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 CGM, ever since cgm.com/juicebox one insertion a year, just one, and it has on body vibe alerts you're going to want to go figure out what that means. Your Kids mean everything to you, and you do anything for them, especially if they're at risk. So when it comes to type one diabetes, screen it like you mean it, because if even just one person in your family has type one, your child is up to 15 times more likely to get it. But just one blood test can help you spot it early. So don't wait. Talk to your doctor about screening, tap now or visit screen for type one.com to get more info and screen it like you mean it. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group. Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome. Type one type two, gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com. You.

#1374 Chris Ruden on Eversense 365

Chris Ruden wears Eversense 365.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox podcast.

Chris Rudin is back with us again. Today we're going to talk about his life with type one diabetes and his experience wearing the ever since 365 please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself. Please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice, box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange, org slash juice box. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group. Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome. Type one type two gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me, if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook.

This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Omnipod five learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juice box. Check it out. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com this episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by ag one drink. Ag one.com/juicebox, head there now to learn more about ag one, it's vegan friendly, gluten free, dairy free, non GMO, no sugar added, no artificial sweeteners. And when you make your first order with my link, you're going to get ag one and a welcome kit that includes a shaker, scoop and canister. You're also going to get five free travel packs in a year's supply of vitamin D with that first order at drink, AG, one.com/juicebox usually I have people introduce themselves, but Chris has been here so many times. I'm just going to say hey to Chris and welcome back. How you been?

Chris Ruden 2:34
I've been really good. Everything has been like the book coming out, like so, so many different things, but overall, Full Sail Ahead with speaking, Speaker coaching, book life in general, but finding more fulfillment as I get older, instead of busyness. You know,

Scott Benner 2:49
yeah, no, it's awesome. When did you decide to write a book?

Chris Ruden 2:52
So I wrote the first book, and it was great, but, like, the experience wasn't the best with publisher and a bunch of stuff like that. This other book, I decided, probably a year after my first book, I was like, Man, I want to, I want to really write this kind of book around change and getting unstuck and all that. And it took me almost two years to write, and I got lucky that a publisher reached out to me while I was writing the book. And it was a really big publisher, so like, things worked out lucky, you know, right? It took a long time to write this book, and I'm definitely super proud of it. It's something that I'm glad I'm done, though I can definitely say I'm very much glad I'm done and I'm out of it, and it's not a stressor anymore.

Scott Benner 3:30
I've written a book. It becomes its own, like little ecosystem, like you get up, it's a

Chris Ruden 3:33
monster. It is a monster. And when you add a tough publisher on top of that, the deadlines and the just the requirements that it took the last four weeks I was putting in 12 to 14 hour days. Yeah, yeah. At some point you're like, Oh, why am I doing this? Yeah. At most of the point, you're like, why am I doing this? I shouldn't be doing you're basically telling yourself all of the things. So when it finally launches, you're like, Oh, my God, this is what mental health feels like.

Scott Benner 3:59
It does feel like such a big deal. You're like, Oh, it's over, and then it's not over, because then you're out talking about it and doing all that, and then

Chris Ruden 4:06
there's so many other things, but I'd much rather be on this end of it. So I'm very happy, but glutton for punishment, you know, like, I'm thinking about, Oh, what's the next book? I'm like, Hey, listen, listen, let's relax for a second. What's this one called? This one's called The Art of changing, course. So it's about getting unstuck and change management. It's part of what I speak on outside of the diabetes and disability space.

Scott Benner 4:25
And so what do you find happens to people? What do they need to get unstuck from most, most often, honestly,

Chris Ruden 4:30
themselves. Most people live in this purgatory of life is not as good as they want it to be, but not bad enough to change so they just kind of cruise in the middle. And that could be applied to diabetes, it could be applied to so many things, but I help people kind of recognize you can't fix what you're not willing to face. So I help people face the things they need to face that they inevitably want to fix, and that happens through radical honesty and accountability and just living by example, being the person you wish you had growing up. All of it kind of relating to my story, but more so. So we all need that encouragement, that push and accountability to actually do the things that we know we need

Scott Benner 5:05
to do. So I was going to say is, like, where does that idea come from? Is it a thing that you learned about yourself or just the thing you intrinsically knew? I

Chris Ruden 5:13
think I was in survival mode for so long with diabetes disability that I had to figure it out the hard way. And I did a lot of things right, but I also did a lot more things wrong. And I felt stuck for a big portion of my life, you know, hiding my disability for so long, I didn't want people to not have a guide to get through that. And I feel like so many people think about where you would be if you didn't actually start the podcast, if you just thought about starting the podcast, if you just thought about being the person you are. Now, so many people get stuck there, and that's where dreams die and aspirations die, but honestly, that's where potential dies, and so many people will get stuck wishing they had something that they could get they just never actually try. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:55
I often wonder how many people don't realize that the difference between accomplishing something and not accomplishing is just doing it. It's

Chris Ruden 6:02
the unsexy part of life, which is like being willing to mess up and not, I hate even saying fail, but being willing to not get it right the first time or the 10th time or the 100th time, and just having confidence or acceptance in your ability to try. We're so afraid to actually try something that we don't try and change our blood sugar management, we don't try and change our life. We don't try and change anything about ourselves, because we've accepted that who we have been is who we have to be. What I have been doing is what I have to keep doing. And we hold ourselves accountable to become the person we were yesterday. And that keeps so many people stuck doing the same thing over and over, hoping that there's some different result or rainbow at the end of the day. But it's not a new day. It's yesterday repeated.

Scott Benner 6:49
Chris, I find myself worried that I should have asked you to describe your disability a little bit for people if they don't know

Chris Ruden 6:55
you absolutely. So I was born with a physical disability. I have two fingers on my left hand. And I consider myself a limb different, amputee. So I was born with all of the fingers, they just were kind of tangled, and I had to have them amputated a few months after I was born. So my left arm is a little bit shorter. And also, I would hope, obviously, I have type one diabetes, yeah, well, that's

Scott Benner 7:16
how you make it to this podcast, yeah, I would hope, so. That's how everybody gets there. And then they tell their stories, which often have almost everything and nothing to do with diabetes at the same time. So when you talk about handling that wrong in the beginning, like, What do you mean? Like, are you stuck in with your disability? Well, I

Chris Ruden 7:35
think a lot of whether it's disability or diabetes, a glass ceiling gets built, whether by us or in combination of us and society, or what people tell you, you know, if your doctors tell you, Oh, life is going to suck, you trust the doctor, thus you believe life is going to suck. But it doesn't have to be the doctor. It could be friends, it could be media, it could be jokes. There's so many factors that kind of influence how you're going to think about this condition, or for my specific case, my disability, I believed that glass ceiling, so I had to limit myself from ever trying, because if I believed I was a monster, which I did, I believed I was broken, I lived according to that belief. And something I tend to say a lot is feelings are not facts. I'm not saying to discount feelings, but I'm saying to don't misinterpret feelings as facts. If you feel like it's never going to get better, if you feel like you're never going to improve your management, if you feel like things are just always going to be terrible, make sure you make that discernment between I feel this way and I know this thing because you don't know that that's not the truth. It's just a feeling

Scott Benner 8:42
you have an interesting perspective. It occurs to me, because people can hide diabetes pretty well if they if they try, but the thing you're born with, you can't hide that. I mean, you understand that perspective of both something like visible and invisible. But do they feel any different, or are they the same in 2015 I needed support to start making this podcast, and Omnipod was there. They bought my first ad in a year when the entire podcast got as many downloads as it probably got today. Omnipod was there to support the show, and they have been every year for nine seasons. I want to thank them very much, and I want to ask you to check them out at omnipod.com/juicebox, cozy Earth wants to help you to create a sanctuary within your home, a refuge from the demands of the outside world. They understand the significance of finding comfort and tranquility in the midst of your hectave life, and from 5pm till 9pm this time should be for you A Time to Relax, rejuvenate and unwind with cozy earth. You can transform your space into an elevated haven where serenity and renewal intertwine effortlessly, and you can do all of that for 40% off when you use the. Offer code juice box at checkout. Head over and get my waffle towels, my bamboo sheets, and don't miss the women stretch knit long sleeve bamboo pajama set. They also make them for men. Cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order.

Chris Ruden 10:16
So it's so funny that you say that because I was talking to someone. For those of you don't know, I'm a professional speaker. I travel around and speak for a living on top of writing. But I got asked, When did you finally get confident talking about your diabetes? When did you stop letting diabetes hold you back? I had to think, because I was like, I've never let diabetes hold me back. I let my disability hold me back for 20 years, but diabetes, when I got diagnosed at 19, I immediately jumped and said, Oh, I'm gonna be a diabetes advocate. I'm gonna talk about it. I'm gonna shout about it. I'm gonna Oh my everyone's like, Wow, you're so confident. And that was my way of lying to everyone, including myself, because I was so afraid of facing my disability, that another thing came along that wasn't as bad to me mentally. So I was like, Oh, look over here, shiny object syndrome. Don't look at my disability. Look at my diabetes. Look how cool this is. So while it was great to become a disability, I made a diabetes advocate, and I loved that part of my life, and it's still something I do. I think I was just comfortable to focus on diabetes, because it took my focus away from my disability.

Scott Benner 11:24
But if you're standing on stage, Kristen speaking and like and for people who don't know like you and I met at a speaking engagement, right? So yes, but if you're standing on stage, you're standing up there with do we call it a prosthetic arm? What do we how do we describe I

Chris Ruden 11:37
now have a prosthetic arm, but if you recall when we first met, I actually had a glove over my hand, and what I did was I always wore long sleeves so I could cover up until that glove and I hid with the glove for almost 20 years. So I was on stage in front of people, but I was still hiding in plain sight. I became this, like, confident person that people looked up to because of social media or whatever, and then people never asked me about my disability because they just assumed I was confident, or it was the elephant in the room that you just didn't talk about. Does

Scott Benner 12:14
the standing on stage talking about diabetes build your confidence to the point where you think, like, I can expand it to this other thing. Or do you think you were using, not using in the pejorative term, but were you using the diabetes to put your arm out there to get past it? Does that make sense? That's a kind of a subconscious idea. But no, I

Chris Ruden 12:32
think if we went that deep, I would say I was so disassociated from my disability that diabetes felt good to talk about because I saw progress in myself and other people. I still wasn't comfortable viewing myself as a person with a disability, call it internalized ableism, or whatever you want to call it, but I wasn't fully comfortable. But diabetes was the condition and the friendship and the community that I needed or was fortunate to build that allowed me to start getting curious enough to say, how could I be more comfortable showing my disability? How could I be more comfortable, honestly, not even on stage or anything like that. How could I be more comfortable when I pass a mirror that I don't turn to the right so I don't see my own hand? So

Scott Benner 13:18
is it something you've thought about that, is it perhaps like getting type one? This sounds so hokey, but did getting type one save you from the other thing?

Chris Ruden 13:27
And I agree, the the Hokey factor in talking about it this way is like, oh, diabetes was the best thing that ever happened. Diabetes sucks sometimes. Let's be real, you know, like, that's that's just the reality of it. But I think diabetes did position me to make better choices about my quality of life, and one of the things that I learned to live with was the pain of not accepting my disability. And I truly do think that diabetes, or my reaction to diabetes and the community itself, allowed me to start being okay with me as a whole, instead of just me as the diabetes person

Scott Benner 14:00
a physical pain or more mental struggle,

Chris Ruden 14:04
mental struggle, for sure, like I will definitely argue that diabetes is much more difficult on a minute by minute basis, right? None of us asked for it, you know, but the mental struggle that came with the disability and feeling broken and feeling different. I know a lot of people, even in the diabetes space, share that sentiment, whether it's because of pumps or CGM or external hardware or even just lifestyle factors, they feel the same way I felt I could assume with my disability, feeling broken or different or as an outsider, and I understand that. So like that mental health struggle that I had, that a lot of people share, I use that as a way. Like, how can I help people deal with that? Because I know that changed my life for the better once I was finally able to, like, not hide my hand anymore,

Scott Benner 14:50
right? So is there a functional way to talk about getting unstuck? Like, if diabetes is creating a world where you're trapped in mental anguish or you can't see. Yourself, or you turn away from a mirror when you see your pump, or something like that. Like, are there steps to take? Or do you think it's more about just facing it and and living through it? How do you talk about it?

Chris Ruden 15:10
I hate the idea of plugging my book, so I'm just going to give you the stuff that's in the book, like, all out there. Yeah, I do have a step, I guess, step by step strategy, but part of it is like, facing the stuff you you don't want to face, and going deep enough to figure out the root cause or the root analysis, like, I don't want people to see my pump. Okay, why is that? Well, if they see my pump, I'm afraid they're gonna think less of me. I'm like, Okay, why are you afraid of them thinking less of you? Well, if they think less of me, they might not like me, and that might end up with me alone. Okay? So the real issue is not the diabetes, it's your fear of being alone. Yeah. Okay, so that's a completely different issue. We can't solve the problem until we see the problem. You know, I have a process in there, which is, see it, face it, fix it, which you really can't fix what you're not willing to face. You have to face the reality of the struggle, like, what are you truly bothered by? What is the true fear, and is it true? Is it real? Isn't there a chance that you won't be lonely because of your diabetes? Isn't there a chance that people will accept you? Isn't there a chance that everything you've been telling yourself, the story you've been telling yourself, isn't as bad or as horrendous as you've painted it out to be? If there's a chance, let's run with that now. How could we live in a way that might make it a little bit better? How can I start talking to myself a little bit differently? Then it starts to go to internal communication, and then we can go external. But that's really where I start. Okay, I also,

Scott Benner 16:31
by the way, like the idea of, if you're with a person who would abandon you, either emotionally or physically because you have diabetes, then maybe, like, lucky you for finding that out. Look, there's no doubt that staying motivated and eating healthy during the holiday is challenge. A lot of you that listen to the podcast know that my health journey has been interesting over the last couple of years, but one thing that I have not wavered on is drinking, AG, one every morning when I get out of bed, I love being able to get all of my vitamins in one easy drink. It's that simple. It's what's kept me moving the simplicity of drinking, AG, one, it tastes great, and that's a bonus, but the ease of use may be the best part for me. You get up, you mix it in cold water, knock it down, and get on with your day. So whether you want to finish out 2024 strong or start 2025 on a new foot this year is for you try ag one for yourself. It's the perfect time to start a new healthy habit, and that's why I've been partnering with ag one for so long. And ag one is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you're getting a welcome kit, a bottle of d3, k2, and five free travel packs with your first box. So make sure to check out drink. AG, one.com/juice box to get this offer that's drink. AG, one.com/juice box to start your new year on a healthier note.

Chris Ruden 17:55
100% agree. 100% agree. If they're willing to abandon you for X, they're definitely willing to abandon you for y, z and everything else. So consider yourself lucky to be distanced from people who should have never been in your life in the first place. I

Scott Benner 18:10
agree. Okay, so Chris, I love talking to you about this stuff, but people should go find your other episodes where we you and I Oh, yeah, we always do

Chris Ruden 18:17
deep dives. And I know like we're only constrained by the amount of time we have in a day, and that's barely a constraint for us, because we could Yap forever. I

Scott Benner 18:25
keep talking. By the way, I've recorded so much today. My I came back upstairs and my wife goes, Are you recording again? I'm like, yeah. She goes, How many times is this? I said, Well, my schedule got messed up. I'm recording three times today. And she goes, aren't you tired? Like, no, I love it. So I love

Chris Ruden 18:39
it, though it's always genuine. That's what I love. Like, you really serve the people that like. People that like listen and you just give you put people in a position to learn instead of forcing education down their throats. So I like, I love that. I appreciate

Scott Benner 18:48
it so. But let's learn about something specific today. So you wear ever since 365 is that? Right? Yes,

Chris Ruden 18:54
and I'm so excited that I'm able to wear that I've worn ever since for years, but the new 365 is insane.

Scott Benner 19:02
Okay, but I want to tell people just because, again, I like to be completely transparent. Like, are you a paid spokesperson? Do you, like, how do you quantify your relationship with a company? So

Chris Ruden 19:11
I am an ambassador, so I get paid to do certain engagements or anything like that. That has been a role I've been a part of for probably three or four years.

Scott Benner 19:20
Okay? I'm gonna be even more clear. Like, are you being like, will you be compensated for this?

Chris Ruden 19:24
I am not directly compensated for this specific episode. Okay, all right, there is no invoice going out for talking to you today.

Scott Benner 19:31
Scott, send this money now, okay, like, wait, I'm

Chris Ruden 19:34
sending an email. I'm like, should I be like?

Scott Benner 19:37
But the idea is, you get amount of financing in the year, and part of it is doing interviews and stuff like that. This is one of them. Is that fair?

Chris Ruden 19:45
Yes, okay, yes, that's fair to say, and that's something that it can only be honest conversation. So I only feel comfortable getting compensated for something I can honestly vouch for. No,

Scott Benner 19:54
and listen, you've been on the show. You're not a Rando like, you know what I mean. So, yeah, to be perfectly honest. That's what I thought was, is I want to get somebody to really tell me about this, and I need somebody that I know will speak about it like right from their perspective. So just tell me you used to use a different CGM, I imagine. Is that right? Yeah, I've

Chris Ruden 20:13
used a ton of, like, traditional CGMS. Okay?

Scott Benner 20:16
How long have you been using an ever since CGM I've been on ever since, roughly four years, four and a half years. Okay, that's a long time. Yes, so you started off with the first product. How is the new product different from the other iterations of it? I guess is my question.

Chris Ruden 20:32
Well, I can say going back, the first ever since that I was ever on, only lasted for three months, and then the most recent one, which was e3 lasted for six months. And that was incredible. To go from, you know, traditional CGM being 10 to 14 days to three months to six months. That was wild. But to be here now with a year only changing my sensor once a year like that's an unimaginable amount of time to not change sensors to me. No, I

Scott Benner 21:00
mean, the longer you can make gaps in between when you're touching your devices, I think the better. And listen, a lot of devices are limited by the fact that they're inserted. You know, like you can't leave your pump on forever. Your pump said, I get all the reasons, but I think the touch points are it's important to eliminate as many of them as possible. And this obviously does that. So I'm going to just take you through the whole thing, right? You probably didn't have it a traditional route, because you You probably didn't have to call your doctor to get it set up. But the idea is, you find a place to get it inserted, either with a with a physician. But I want to start there. You get to that appointment. What is that appointment like?

Chris Ruden 21:35
So when I have my appointment, I have my specific time I go in for my doctor down here usually does it in the morning. On specific days, I go into the room, they create a sterile field, they mark out where they need to take the sensor that's been in previously. You know, my situation is off label, because I have a physical disability in my left arm the way I was born. I have to be off label and I go back in the same arm, but it's on label to switch arms. So anyone who gets the ever since 365 switches arms when they get a new sensor. Yep, for me, they find where the actual sensor is. They lidocaine the area, and they have their old, very specific process on how they do that. He removes the sensor for me, and places the new sensor. And then he uses steri strips, not stitches or anything like that. And then he put tegaderm over the spot, and then I'm good to go. We've got it the process down to less than three minutes for both insertion and removal, and sore

Scott Benner 22:39
for a couple days, just like, a like, but nothing past expectation.

Chris Ruden 22:42
I would say my soreness like, I can't recall a time where I was sore for longer than shortly after the event, because there's lidocaine. You don't really feel anything. Oh, okay, but I'm good to go to work out, whether it's the next day or the day after.

Scott Benner 22:57
That's awesome. So now the sensors in your arm. What do you do? You put on the adhesive. But the adhesive is different than what people are thinking of when they think of medical adhesive.

Chris Ruden 23:08
It's hard to imagine, unless you like really hear this out, we get a new adhesive daily, which is incredible, and we have the choice between clear and white. So it's a silicon based adhesive that is strong enough to hold but easy enough on the skin to not really encourage skin irritation whatsoever. And if you look at the data, you know skin irritations are very minimal compared to acrylic type adhesives that are commonly seen in traditional CGM. For me, I choose either white or clear, and I'm able to put that adhesive on, I get a clean, fresh piece of adhesive every day. So

Scott Benner 23:44
you take one off every day. Do you wait to put the next one on? Or not necessarily, you can just slap it on and keep going.

Chris Ruden 23:50
What do you mean? Do

Scott Benner 23:50
I wait? I mean, like, so today's Wednesday, and I end of the night, you take off the adhesive, or in the morning, whatever you do, do you like, let it air out. Do you like, like, what's the process? Like? No, I

Chris Ruden 24:01
don't. I don't have to, like, let it air out, or anything like that. Usually, I take the adhesive off. I will put the actual transmitter on a charger. It charges for roughly 10 to 15 minutes. I do that while I'm in the shower. I get out of the shower, I slap a new adhesive on, and then I'm good to go. Okay,

Scott Benner 24:15
all right. So there's no feeling of like, I'll need to let this thing breathe for a while, or no, like that. Okay, there's

Chris Ruden 24:20
no even thought, I think that's the crazy part as we're talking about it. I'm like, it's so ingrained, and it's such a simple process to me because I've done it for so long. Even though the 365 is new, the adhesive process is similar. It's so slap and go for me that I'm like, Oh, what do I actually do when I have to break down what I'm doing? I'm starting to get

Scott Benner 24:39
that feeling. It's like, I'm like, go through a step by step, and you're gone. I take it off. And take it off, I put it on, moving again. But

Chris Ruden 24:44
that's the crazy part. Is like, I'm doing diabetes differently. It's so weird that even with 365 now it's such a huge jump for me that I haven't had to think about it. And you know, with diabetes, like, it's really nice to get a break mentally. I get to take naked showers. That's incredible to me.

Scott Benner 25:01
How do you manage you you're using a pump. Are you? MDI,

Chris Ruden 25:04
I am on the world's longest pump break. I think we're going on eight years right now. I'm still considering it a pump break, because I will eventually go back on right now I am on. MDI, okay,

Scott Benner 25:15
and just a regular pen, like, you're not using, like in pen or something like that. It's

Chris Ruden 25:19
no regular, regular injections. And I actually use old school syringes. I just prefer it that way. Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 25:24
Oh, nice. So your vials and needles, yep. Oh, look at you. You are old

Chris Ruden 25:29
school, old school. But then I have, like, the most advanced CGM, and in my experience, you know, so it's really funny when people see the CGM, like, Oh, he's all tech. They see my prosthetic, or I'm like, super tech guy, and then I pull out the syringe and vial. They're like, what?

Scott Benner 25:42
Why do you prefer this syringe?

Chris Ruden 25:44
I just trust it more. I know what I inject goes in. I've had other times with pens in the past that you hold it down to inject, and when I pull out, I see some drops out that affects, like anxiety and mental I'm like, Oh my How much did I not inject? I don't want any extra thought you like the control I get that like, peace of mind with the syringes, personally, awesome. Okay,

Scott Benner 26:06
so the silicon adhesive gets changed once a day. It is the way you explain the transmitter, which I think is about the size of an Omnipod, give or take. Is

Chris Ruden 26:15
that a fair enough I'd have to see like an Omnipod in person again, but I would imagine it's a little bit smaller, but okay, I'm not sure about

Scott Benner 26:22
specification. So the adhesive sticks to you. The transmitter sticks to the adhesive. Yep, yep, okay. And then I learned recently that the sensor under your skin is actually being powered by the transmitter it

Chris Ruden 26:34
is. So that's why the transmitter sits on top of the sensor, and that's how it's able to send data to your phone. It's awesome, isn't it? Like who thought of that? You know what I mean? Past that, the transmitter vibrates. That, to me, is such a huge point, especially because I talk about mental health, there's been so many times with traditional CGMS for me, where I was in the movie theater or on stage even, or in a meeting where I'm getting this incessant beeping. I saw a funny post of a traditional CGM on social media and like, Oh, you think you're going to sleep. Here's the song of my people. And it was just the beeping, you know, like the crazy beeping. Being able to have vibratory patterns that alert me if I'm going high or low, without screaming to everyone that I have diabetes is such a nice way to take back control of how I manage my condition. And I don't always want everyone to know, like, Hey guys, there's a stage five alarm going on right now. Sometimes it's nice to have the option of, like, staying internal. You know, wait, so do you set the levels that it vibrates at? Yes, and I know if it's high or low based on the pattern recognition how many buzzes it does, and there's also predictive high and predictive low. So all those vibratory alerts are relevant to where your blood sugars

Scott Benner 27:48
are. So basically four different vibes, and you know the difference between them, which

Chris Ruden 27:52
is fantastic. You know, it's such a great feeling to have that and not be like, Oh man, I can manage this without anyone knowing, right? That's peace of mind.

Scott Benner 28:02
That's awesome. Now, you're people can go listen, but part of, I guess, your journey through life is that you were a fairly scrawny guy at one point, and you are not that. Now, that's fair to say. That's fair. So you lift a lot of weights. You're active. Is this thing ever in your way? Is it ever a problem? What's your experience using it with your activity. So I've

Chris Ruden 28:21
never had an issue where it like falls off because of sweat or anything like that, personally. But even if I ever did, I could have the adhesives and change the adhesive so it's not an issue. I personally don't have any issues like that. I am a very sweaty person, but luckily, it stays on the entire time for me. So there's no like peeling edges that you often see with, well, at least I did, personally, with traditional CGM, you had it on for so long that that thing was holding on for dear life, because I changed this thing daily. It's really nice that. One, the white adhesive is actually white. It's no longer gray or dirt, you know, yeah. And two, if I want to go clear, I can go clear,

Scott Benner 28:59
and there's nothing once you pull it off, like you don't have to rub off extra that's stuck to you or glue it.

Chris Ruden 29:04
There's no adhesive residue. For me personally, it's just just good to go. Well, in

Scott Benner 29:08
fairness, you are a very sweaty person, which I think we should make into a t shirt. But I

Chris Ruden 29:12
am a very sweaty person, and, like, I think because of, like, having exercise, being a guy who was probably supposed to be 140 pounds, but is 200 pounds, you know that I'm sure adds to it. I'm not the most cardio forward person. You won't see me running a marathon, let alone scurrying to the refrigerator. If

Scott Benner 29:33
you cut a door jamb close and you knock off the transmitter, you'd literally just pick it up and just stick it back. I

Chris Ruden 29:38
just put it back on. Oh, even if I go to an event or something, say I'm working with ever since at the booth, like as a patient ambassador, the amount of times I take off the transmitter and put it back on, oh, is insane with the same adhesive. I think the record was like 21 times, and the adhesive still stayed in my skin. You can see there is no redness. From taking it off 21 times. Can you imagine taking off a traditional CGM 21 times? Do you have to make that face when you pull off the adhesive? The Heritage no face? And I think that's the big tell. The biggest tell is being able to, if you could hear that I just took it off, and I promise you, I made no face. Even if you had the camera on, you would see no face. It's so crazy to me that, like it's gentle enough to not hurt me personally, yeah, but it's strong enough to stay on, Chris, you just took the transmitter off and put it back on while we were talking. Yeah, I can do it three more times right now. And that's, that's the amazing part, is done. Okay? You know, obviously you don't get readings when the transmitter is off, right, right? But if something were to happen, emergency, say, I'm in the airport, I'm running, there's a cute Dotson dog that I just have to pet, and I happen to, like, throw off my transmitter. I throw it back on, and my whole day isn't ruined because I have to search for supplies.

Scott Benner 30:54
Is this a real story about you petting a dog in an airport?

Chris Ruden 30:57
I wouldn't admit. I can neither confirm nor deny, but I will do anything to pet a dog, so that's that. Okay.

Scott Benner 31:03
So now accuracy, I guess I want to know you've worn other stuff. So what are your findings?

Chris Ruden 31:10
So I can only speak from my personal opinion. I think everyone should when they talk about their own diabetes. The reason I could not use traditional CGM, mostly was because of accuracy, or a lack of accuracy, which built a lack of trust and a lot more anxiety. This condition is already super tough, so anything more that's inducing anxiety to me is a no go. I had a lot of big discrepancies that caused trust issues, and I told myself I would never use a CGM again. I lied because someone got me to try this, and when I tried it, I was like, Oh, wow, okay, I actually trust the number. And anytime I checked against my meter, it was very, very accurate, to the point where I built trust again in a CGM, okay, I trust my numbers. I don't second guess my numbers, and I use my app accordingly. If it says that I am good to go to trust my numbers. There's not a second guess there, which I love again. One less thing to worry about with my diabetes management.

Scott Benner 32:10
Okay, yeah, I love that. When you thought at some point I can't wear a CGM before, ever since, was that a sense of loss, like you wanted the data, but you just, you know, I'm saying, like, was your experience so bad at that point that you were just like, I don't care, like, take it away. Or did you

Chris Ruden 32:24
nail nailed it? It went from I want the data to the data is not worth it. The data is not worth the headache that came with it. And it was so upsetting because I saw, I know CGM is good for everyone. If anything, we want access for more CGM to reach more people. I truly believe everyone with diabetes should have some sort of access to a CGM. It's a game changer, CGM in general. You know, seeing so many people do well with CGM, and seeing how it worked for me, it was so frustrating. So it went from I want the data to nope, I'll just do I'll prick my finger 10 times a day, and that's just what life's going to be. And I kind of accepted that. So I guess I did want the data at a certain point, but the problems that I faced overwhelmed the solution that I saw from CGM at the time. Okay, all right,

Scott Benner 33:18
so over four years using this thing. You haven't used the pump in a long time. Is there part of you who's like, I do want to hear about like, because you talked about trust and you're delivering your insulin with syringes. But is there part of you that's like, I want one of these algorithms. Man, everybody's running around with an algorithm. They're not getting low anymore. Like, is that a thing that's in your in your mind? Like, I can't wait for this. Ever since 365 to work with a pump.

Chris Ruden 33:41
You are stealing my words, because I literally cannot wait for it to integrate. That's the only time I'll go back to a pump, is once this does potentially integrate, and I'm very much looking forward to that my philosophy with diabetes management for myself, have the flexibility to try things and change things in order to improve. There are different seasons of my life where I prefer different types of medication or processes, and I am very open to the idea of using a pump again, especially once it integrates with this product.

Scott Benner 34:16
Okay, all right, so you're all in then for the technology. I'm

Chris Ruden 34:21
all in for the technology, not because it's new or different, but because I've built proof and credibility and confidence in using this product. That's why I'm so adamant. Yes, I'm a paid ambassador of this product, but the reason I am a paid ambassador of this product is because I use the product and I trust the product, and I live with the product for X amount

Scott Benner 34:41
of years. Because, have you ever had a sensor fail that had to be replaced early?

Chris Ruden 34:45
No, and that's the insane part. I have never had a sensor retire early, and I've had 14 sensors over the course of four and a half, five years. No, no kidding. Think about that. Think about that with traditional CGM. I couldn't say. I've had a majority of my sensors make the full life of the sensor, you know. So for me, the confidence knowing that it's going to go the full time, at least in my experience, and looking at the data, having a 90% survivability rate, I believe that's it. That's extremely impressive. When you look at traditional CGM,

Scott Benner 35:18
is there something about it that you don't like, because there if I said to you, like, Hey, tell me about your ever since. Like, what's bad about it? Like, is there something that pops to mind?

Chris Ruden 35:27
Not necessarily bad, but big dreams for me, to have no transmitter would be beautiful. You know, to have full pump integration would be incredible. I guess what I truly want is to just continue seeing advancement. I'm extremely happy with the 365 but I know as patients this innovation that continues to happen, I want to see more of it. I want to see my life with nothing, nothing on, you know, completely. And I look forward to a day where we can get there, hopefully. But that's really the issue to me. Okay,

Scott Benner 35:59
outside of your work, right? You bump into another type one. They're like, Hey, what's that? Because I'm sure it's not a thing. They recognize the transmitter. And when you start talking about it, I'm sure you're not selling people. But when they ask, how do you talk about it to them? Because if you ask me about I don't know the algorithm that my daughter uses, for example, I could tell you what I like about it. What do you say about 365 when people ask you about it? So

Chris Ruden 36:26
I, unfortunately, have become a pickleball player, and I think that's just acceptance of my age at this point. I love playing pickleball, and I was playing the other day, someone specifically was talking about diabetes. I was like, Oh, I have type one. And he's like, Oh, do you have one of those? One of those CGM things? I'm like, Oh, I do. Like, oh yeah, my partner, or whatever, has one of them. I can't remember the name. They said the name. I was like, Oh, that's cool. I have this one. It's different. I take the transmitter off, and I saw his face, and I put the transmit on, and instantly he's like, what is that?

Unknown Speaker 37:00
He's like, Tell me more. That's

Chris Ruden 37:01
always my little party trick. It's really not me selling the product. It's me showing my experience, you know, like the reason why I love this being able to take it off and put it back on. God forbid, it tore or something took off. If I take it off 10 times, that's not going to be 10 charges for new sensors. You know, I talk about the vibration because of the mental health component of being able to manage it privately, but most importantly for me is accuracy. At the end of the day, to me, accuracy is the most important feature for me with a CGM, and I've proven time and time again to myself that this has been the most accurate CGM for me.

Scott Benner 37:37
That's awesome. Do you shower with it or sometimes, but not always

Chris Ruden 37:41
sometimes. I mean, a lot of people like to charge the transmitter while they're in the shower, and I try and do that, but there's times where I do shower with it. It's not that it's a problem, but I like to try and create routine. So while I'm in the shower, the goal is to charge the transmitter.

Scott Benner 37:55
I'm gonna ask a more personal question, sexy time. You take it off for sexy time?

Chris Ruden 37:59
I do not, Oh, I do not take it off for a sexy time, because it does hold now, God forbid, let's say a completely hypothetical situation where you know, your transmitter does fall off and ends up on the other person and you both laugh. Of course, completely hypothetical, but you just put it back on and you're good to go. No worries about losing a sensor. You know,

Scott Benner 38:21
that's awesome. What am I not asking you about? Like, I feel like, you know, it's funny. I'm going back to what you said a second ago. Like, part of me is like, this is going to be such a long conversation where Chris explains all this, but now I'm realizing, like, it's not, it's kind of simple.

Chris Ruden 38:33
So, and that same here, I was like, Oh, I'm gonna have to explain it specifics. Like, the science is way above my intellect. You know, when it comes to, like, how it's the inner workings are going, but I think that's the key of this to me. It simplified my life and my diabetes management in the sense of, I don't it's one CGM for one year, and that's, it's really that simple. I want to over complicate it, but I'm very fortunate that this has made my life just a little bit easier when it comes to managing tech that helps me manage my condition. So

Scott Benner 39:05
people know calibration, right? It gets inserted you and calibrate it once a day for the first 13 days. Am I right?

Chris Ruden 39:13
I think 14 days, but 13 or 14? Please confirm? Yeah. I'm not sure on that, but yeah, so with the former ever since e3 it was twice a day for the first 21 days. I believe this one is once a day for the first 14 days, I believe. And then and then it's once a week. Oh, so I think I don't want to get into like, arguments about what's better, what's preferred, but I do want to say this, I always advocate for a CGM that is extremely accurate, and if calibrating increases the accuracy, even at once a week, I'm going to calibrate because you don't want to see IgM. You don't want to continuously inaccurate glucose monitor. No one wants that, you know. So if that calibration hell. Me maintain this level of accuracy that I have never personally seen before in a traditional CGM, I am all for it. And what I found is that so many people of my friends that I personally talk to, they end up checking. They don't call it calibrating. They call it checking to confirm their traditional CGM, okay, and I'm like, that's that's pretty much a calibration. I'm just gonna let you know that's a calibration, but you just don't like the word calibration. I

Scott Benner 40:25
get that. Yeah, no, listen, I I've said it before. I'll say it again. Like, there's times where I'll say to Arden, like, Hey, I think we should just, you know, maybe do a finger stick here and check, yeah,

Chris Ruden 40:32
finger stick, check. We just don't the word calibration is so I think there's, like, a negative connotation around it, which, again, I get because we're making these great strides and accuracy is everything to me. Yeah, no. I

Scott Benner 40:43
mean, you want the you want the information coming back to you to be as good as possible. That's for certain. Do you find that what your CGM tells you matches your a 1c like your is what it's telling you match your expectations of or match your outcomes? I mean,

Chris Ruden 41:00
I will definitely say this. That is a new question that I've got that I will create into a social media post to follow that, because I find that it tracks with when I do check against my meter. But now that I check a lot less, I would love to do a direct comparison of my numbers as it relates to my a, 1c, I can't say that there's a discrepancy off the top of my mind, but I would love to confirm and say for sure that's 100% the

Scott Benner 41:26
case. It's nice to know, because that's fascinating. Yeah. Well, people, that happens. People all the time. They're like, you know, my CGM says my, A, 1c, should be about this. Then I go get it checked. It's either higher or lower. Like, does that mean that the accuracy the CGM is off? Yeah, that's

Chris Ruden 41:38
a great point to make. And, like, that's something I would love to do and kind of track for me. I My a 1c is where I think it needs to be, and my management with ever since is where I think it needs to be. But it's always good to go from, oh, I think we're good to, like, confirmed data doesn't lie.

Scott Benner 41:55
No, no, it's, I mean, it's worth looking at. Okay, how long have you had type one, since 2009

Chris Ruden 42:02
so how many years is that? 14 years, 19 years, then

Scott Benner 42:05
six. Wait, hold on, 2019 2021, 223, like 15 years. Yeah, 15 years.

Chris Ruden 42:12
Wow, I'm getting old.

Scott Benner 42:14
Yeah, overall. Listen, Chris,

Chris Ruden 42:15
don't talk to me about being old. Okay, you haven't aged a bit since you started this podcast, I think that's it's disallowed you from aging.

Scott Benner 42:23
I do get to act silly for a living. I do think it keeps me young a little bit Absolutely. Yeah. Also, I tell anybody that'll listen, my hair stays dark. I feel good, so it's a cheat code, having dark hair. Wow. How long ago do you think we met that 2017 maybe 2018 you would freak out if you saw me now. Yeah, yeah. I started using a GLP, like, 18 months ago, and I probably, wow, I probably weigh like 55 pounds less than the last time you saw what?

Chris Ruden 42:48
Yeah, that's so insane. Yeah, that's great. That's on that. That's

Scott Benner 42:51
huge. Thank you. No, it's awesome. Actually, this morning, I was at my lowest weight since I started doing this. That's amazing. Then now I can't wait to bump into you somewhere, because you're gonna, you'll be like, Whoa. What? Just wait. It's probably

Chris Ruden 43:02
take my transmitter off for you. And you're like, I already know that trick. I'm like, oh my god, Scott,

Scott Benner 43:09
you show me your transmitter trick. I'll show you the incredible disappearing Scott trick.

Chris Ruden 43:13
That's beautiful. I'm here for it.

Scott Benner 43:15
I appreciate, I feel, I feel good. Do you know any people using glps Now with type one off label? I know

Chris Ruden 43:20
a few of them, and they've all been really happy. I had a former client, you know, I used to do personal training. I worked with her for so long, and she just really struggled with her weight, even when controlled diet. And we tried so much, and she came back, and she's like, I finally figured it out, she dropped like, 90 pounds, yeah, and it gave her, like, a whole new lease on life, which kind of changed my personal opinion on all of that. And I'm I saw what it did for her in her life, and I was like, wow, I think there's a case for for a lot of stuff that is outside of our comfort zone, and we should be more curious to learn. That's all I should say, is like, we should be more curious to learn, instead of certain that things will or will not work. I

Scott Benner 44:00
have a couple of episodes with people whose insulin needs have dropped so significantly, it's startling,

Chris Ruden 44:05
and see that that stuff is fascinating. And I again, not to bring it back to my book, but I do talk about one of the big steps to actually changing is to go from certainty to curiosity. So many people are certain that the way they live their life is going to be forever. Instead of being more curious as to, like, how might I go about this differently, even for you having the curiosity to try something it's worked out well for you and something you're proud of. So I think curiosity goes a long way. And curiosity is what led me to try ever since, and now to be on ever since 365 so I think just in general, I love to give people advice of, be curious enough to ask, like, how might I do this a little bit differently? How could this potentially help me in the future?

Scott Benner 44:46
Listen, I've been this year specifically I said I'm gonna, I'm gonna let more people, like, not let people come on, but I'm gonna look for people who are using glps off label, right, like, and let them come tell their stories. And as I started doing that, I thought. I'm gonna take it from some people for this, you know what? I mean? Like, it's gonna, it's gonna start with the like, that's not for people with type one. It's for, you know, oh yeah, I already know, like, how it's gonna go online and everything. I had somebody tell me I'm a shill for Big GLP. I'm like, okay, oh yeah, you know, like, like, the whole thing. But then I end up with a 15 I talked to a mom of a 15 year old girl who's had type one diabetes at the time for like, three or more years. She's using all the insulin, and now she's off her pump and only using her basal. Like crazy, Isn't that insane? Yeah. And by the way, it'll go back eventually, like she it didn't cure. Like, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that like she's in the middle of some slow, probably lot of progression, and this medication helped her. I talked to a 50 year old guy who's off insulin for a while, like, has got antibodies, is type one, like, that whole thing, and he knows he's like, one day it's gonna come get me, you know, he's like, but for now, is this awesome? And I'm like, I'm gonna let people tell those stories. And as soon as you do that, as soon as you're curious, you hear from people about like, this is going to cause confusion, and people are going to think they don't need I'm like, no one's going to think they don't need insulin, because we say 1000 times while we're talking to them that, you know, like, right? Like, don't be scared of learning about new things is basically

Chris Ruden 46:13
learning about something does not mean you have to do it by me talking about ever since 365 it's not like someone's knocking at your door to insert it right now, like it's not the case. It's it's more so, like, knowledge doesn't hurt, if anything, it only helps you. And maybe it's not for you, but maybe it's for someone you know, like that, we have to be more curious as to like, what are all of the options on this table of diabetes that none of us asked for in the first place, right? I think we owe it to ourselves to we owe it to patients and providers and everyone to see the world or the world of options without bias. Yeah, you know, just give things a chance to understand them, even if you don't agree with them. Understanding is not commitment to a way of life. It's just understanding. I've

Scott Benner 47:00
had to tell people more than once, like, it's a podcast, I'm not actually knocking them over and making them do it right? It's not

Chris Ruden 47:05
like you were literally giving people this medication. You're talking about your personal experience. Same with me, my personal experience. Yeah, at the end of the day, part of the internet just wants to see the world burn sometimes, and I get that you're whatever reason you're doing okay, but if you're around long enough on social which I know you have been to, everyone will say everything about what you do. Everyone has an opinion. You know, there's people who think my mental health advice is is bad or stupid or dumb or doesn't really help, and there's people who love it, and there's people on all parts of the spectrum who will support or not support you, yeah, but at the end of the day, if your intention is to genuinely help people, focus on the people you're genuinely helping, and don't focus on the people trying to bring you down for no reason. Yeah, don't listen.

Scott Benner 47:45
I'm not for everybody. I completely understand that that's okay. Yeah, it's not just okay. It's necessary. Because if I try to make myself for everybody, then I use an old phrase, but then I'm milk toast and I'm soggy and bland and nobody, nobody cares,

Chris Ruden 47:57
right, right? So, and you are most certainly not milk toast.

Scott Benner 48:01
So I do my thing, right? And then, you know, like I said, I recorded 1000 times today. So earlier today, I recorded with a 30 year old woman who's had type one diabetes for about four years. She's just almost described having a baby with type one as not tough. And why? Because I listen to the podcast, and she talked about how she got through her depression and how because she found community. How did she find community? First of all, her doctor, lovely enough, paired her up with a person, which I thought was awesome. I love that we need more of that. Her therapist basically gave her a type one buddy. I was like, that's awesome. I love that. And then she said she found the podcast, and now she listens to those interviews, and she finds her community by listening to the people on the podcast. And not eight seconds later, I was online and someone said I just had to unfollow your podcast. I had enough of you, and I went, Okay, fair enough. I got one on that hand and one on that hand. I'm like, okay, yeah, it's good. Like, so I just said to the guy, I'm like, I appreciate the feedback. Everything's not for everybody, you know, but I can sit back later and I can think, well, that 30 year old girl and her healthy baby and like I did that, you know what I mean? To some degree, like she did all the don't get me wrong. She did all the hard work. She understood things, she put them into practice. I made my experiences available. Some people picked it up and did something with it. Some people didn't. I'm having you here today for the same reason. Ever since is a sponsor the podcast, right? They're not sponsoring this episode, but they sponsor the podcast. And, fair enough, I'm an advertiser. And for them, the more I learned about this thing, the more I was, like, this is not a thing. People are going to intrinsically try to find out more about, like, the idea of inserting it's going to make a lot of people go, Ah, no, thanks. And then, like, then they're never even going to hear the rest of it. So, like, we got to have a couple of these conversations. I want people to know about this,

Chris Ruden 49:43
and I think that's the big thing, is there's always going to be resistance when there is something that is different, right? Because we, and I, again my book, not to bring it up again, but we align ourselves with familiarity, and familiarity is the comfort that we kind. Attached to so I had to get a little bit unfamiliar when I got my first, you know, insertion, or placement of the sensor. Years and years ago, I heard that it was like a placement and an insertion. I'm like, Oh no, no, no. And I was like, wait a minute, that's my knee jerk reaction. Let me learn more of it. Because truly, education pretty much ruins fear. Fear is based out of lack of education. For most, you know, parts, especially with things like this, once I understood, I was like, oh, oh, it's that small. Oh, it's there's no like, recovery. I'm not like, out, I'm not going to the emergency room. I'm not they're not using a chainsaw. Like, Oh, okay. I'm a little bit more open to this. We are always going to be against what we don't understand. And this happens throughout history, you know, radio said TV was never going to work, because no one's going to sit down in their home for hours a day and stare at a square radio was like, No way that'll ever happen. And you can trace that kind of logic back eons, decades, centuries, because people are always against what they're not familiar with, until it gets more widespread and then people like, oh, yeah, that's a great idea, right? That's what I truly feel like this is something similar. So being open to new technologies or strategies, even if it's not for you, being open to the idea that it might be for someone you care about, would you remove access to something that might be for someone you care about? Absolutely not that goes for doctors, people, patients, and everything in between. Yeah, no. I mean,

Scott Benner 51:23
you just said what I was thinking, really, if the 365 is not for you, then whatever. Right on, but at least you know about it, like, you know, like, if you're a person who doesn't get adhesive, and I listen to Scott, I've never had a compression level, I don't know what you're talking about, then right on. Like, I get not switching, but I don't get not knowing about it. That is

Chris Ruden 51:40
right there, right there. You get not switching, but you don't get not knowing. You wouldn't want someone to get on something that is not for them and just and on the other side of that coin, you wouldn't want someone to be denied information of something that would change their life, or could change their life, you know. So the more information the better. The more quality information, the better in this world that we're in. For me, I love this product. I love what it does for my management lifestyle, and I'm very proud to talk about it. And when people undoubtedly say things that they don't like about the product for the way they manage their condition, I have to gently but assertively remind them, just because it might not work for you right now doesn't mean it doesn't work for me. Yeah, no, I'm

Scott Benner 52:24
with you, man. So I hope people go look into it. I hope listen, I hope they go look into everything, and then they come out with the thing that works best for them. Absolutely, 100% I don't want you to, I say this the same way every time, and I feel stupid for repeating myself. But I don't want you to wake up one day and look back and go, wait. How's everyone doing this now, like, I didn't hear about that. I don't know about this and and to find out later that maybe your health could have been maybe your physical health, maybe your mental health could have been easier, happier, etc, if you would have just, like, known about a thing. Like, so I'm out there, like, trying to ring the bell. I hope more companies come on and talk about more stuff. And I want everybody to, like, you know, share their thing, so everybody can find what works for them best.

Chris Ruden 53:02
I really respect that, because it's really the an anti dogmatic approach to life. It's allowing the correct information to be on the table so that people can make informed decisions, not decisions based on stigma or ignorance or fear, but informed decisions you don't know what you don't know, but it's worth trying to figure out and expand your familiarity so you can make the best decisions for you and your family. Yeah,

Scott Benner 53:28
I'll have to say you and I, our conversations sometimes drift off to like, behind the scenes content creation stuff, but I'll do that here for a second. Like one of the loveliest things somebody online said to me one time was like, Look at Scott. He's taking an ad from a company and their competitor, like Way to go, and I think he meant it flippantly, but what I took from that was I was able to build a thing that's large enough that I can bring you all the options, not just the one that got to me first. Yes, I am really proud of that, because I also work with a lot of great people who understand that? Like, that's it. Like, the podcast is big enough, like, you might have your ad on here, but it's going to be on here with somebody else who's selling a similar product as you. And at least everybody gets to hear it. They get to hear it for free, and then they can go decide. But it took a lot of effort to get big enough to be able to do that, I guess is what I'm saying. Like, so I'm almost, like, oddly, it's going to sound bizarre to people who are not in this space, but I'm proud of myself that you'll hear an ad for different pumps, or you'll hear an ad for different CGM or something like that, because in the end, I just, I really genuinely want you to do the best that's for you. And this is very likely could be the best for some people, and they might never find out about it, because, you know, things they've heard that make it sound scary, when maybe it just isn't. I think

Chris Ruden 54:43
anytime people hear monetization or people getting paid for something, they immediately think, like you're the devil, like you're a terrible person for taking money for something, but then everyone takes money for the job that they do. Really weird dichotomy there. But yeah, I think understanding the level. Of emotional intelligence it takes to be able to talk about products that you don't personally use because you understand it could help people who want to or might want to personally use them that can be very difficult to go past your I don't want to say beliefs, but like, what aligns with your current management strategies, and to talk about other products in in a curious and inquisitive way. I think that deserve, that deserves a lot of respect, and that's past just you and your podcast right here it goes to like, how you the person listening to this podcast? Think about life, if you are curious again or inquisitive enough to say, this is how I do things. But how do you do things? That's how we create more community and honestly, humanity, when we stop saying, My way is the way, and that's the problem. I think that's why so many people fight online and in person, they go from like, your way is not my way, because my way is the way, and you don't understand that your way is not the way. It's just a way, right? It's so hard to pull back from that. You know, I

Scott Benner 56:07
always say in the argument between us and them, everybody thinks they're us.

Chris Ruden 56:11
That's very good point. And there's a funny image where two people are on the other sides of six and nine, and they're like, six, no nine, no six, no nine. It's like, perspective really does change everything, and if you're willing to walk around a little bit and see it from a different vantage point, at least you could understand or have the humanity to hear people out, right? And I find so many people when I talk about a product, like, ever since 365 who've like, Yeah, but it doesn't do this. And I'm like, that's one, that's not what I'm talking about too. Okay, right? Yeah, okay, like I don't, I don't know if you want me to argue. I'm showing you what I like about the product I choose to you for my diabetes management. Yeah, this surprisingly was not about you. Surprisingly, I know, I know it is your world and we just live in it. But maybe I'm talking about my management. You know, I'm not

Scott Benner 57:04
gonna cry. But if people think it was easy to like, do the thing that I just said, which is, like, talk to companies selling similar things, it was very scary for me. Oh,

Chris Ruden 57:13
for sure. I can't even imagine, because you're like, Are people gonna think this way of me? Like, these are two different companies. Like, Oh, they're competing. But at the end of the day, your goal is not to service one company, but rather service one people, which is people with diabetes. So at all costs, I'm not doing

Scott Benner 57:31
anything different than anybody else is doing. I'm trying to pay my bills and save some money so I can retire, and

Chris Ruden 57:36
in the meantime, you're actually giving great value. So like, if that means opening up true perspectives, that's a lack of bias. I think everyone should see all of the facts before they make a decision. And that's why people get stuck, is because they make decisions based on a limited degree of facts or feelings. So

Scott Benner 57:54
anyway, go use whatever CGM you want, but you should look at this, because that's it. That's interesting.

Chris Ruden 57:58
Find what works for you. But I promise you, for me, I love the benefits that I've experienced with ever since 365

Scott Benner 58:05
Yeah, that's awesome, man. And tell me again, how many sensors have you worn?

Chris Ruden 58:08
Like, 14 total?

Scott Benner 58:09
Wow. And now you're once a year. Now

Chris Ruden 58:11
I'm once a year, which is wild. My doctor probably misses me greatly, but

Scott Benner 58:15
that's okay, well, but now it takes you from, I mean, it took you four years to wear 14 or about right now, it's going to take you 14 years to wear the next 14.

Chris Ruden 58:23
That's insane. I never did the math, yeah, but that is pretty wild. And I think it's going to be kind of like a shock to get that notification. Like, oh, new sensor. I'm like, a year has passed already. Like, yeah, how much really happens in a year? You know,

Scott Benner 58:37
Crystal, feel his mortality through his ever since. Reminder gonna be awful. It's like my diabetes birthday. That's

Chris Ruden 58:42
what it's gonna be. It's awesome, man, I

Scott Benner 58:44
appreciate you doing this with me, and thanks for taking the time, of course. Man, I

Chris Ruden 58:48
appreciate the talks always. Yeah, I'll

Scott Benner 58:49
see you again. Hold on, Chris, thanks, man.

When you place your first order for AG, one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. AG, one.com/juice, box. The holidays are here, and you need great gifts, and you don't want to pay full price for them, so go to cozy earth.com and use the offer code juice box to check out to save 40% off of your entire order. The conversation you just enjoyed was sponsored by Omnipod five. You want to get an Omnipod five? You can you want to make me happy? Do it with my link. Omnipod.com/juicebox you

Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less, a little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, if you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would, I think I see something here, but I. Can't be sure, once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox podcast. It begins at Episode 1000 you can also find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. You.

#1373 Caregiver Burnout Series: Part 4

Erika Forsyth provides strategies and encouragement for caregivers making career sacrifices to optimize T1D care.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again, friends for this next episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

I'm back with Erica today in our fourth installment of the caregiver burnout series, today, we're going to be talking about making career sacrifices and choices to optimize care. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to work with Erica, you can find her at Erica forsyth.com, when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juicebox. To save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you're newly diagnosed, check out the bold beginnings series. Find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu in the feature tab of the private Facebook group, or go into the audio app you're listening in right now and search for Juicebox podcast, bold beginnings.

The episode you're listening to is sponsored by us Med, us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1515, 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us med. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voke hypo pen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon com forward slash, Juicebox Erica. This is the fourth episode in your caregiver burnout series. What an upbeat title that is yes, but very well put. And you know, I think needs to be talked about. What are we going to talk about today?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:13
Yes. So this is the fourth burden or theme that you know again, that came up from all of the research conducted over caregiver burden of parents to children with type one. And so this fourth theme, and we're discussing it through the burden or barrier to taking care of yourself or making choices you know for yourself is making career sacrifices and choices to optimize T 1d, care. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:41
do you think during this one, will we talk at all about the idea of people homeschooling when their kids are diagnosed? Because I see that come up a lot. Does that fit in this one?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:50
Yes, yes. Okay, good, absolutely. So like, like our other episodes, we have a quote that's taken from the research of a parent who is validating this theme. So do you want to read the quote? Oh, yeah,

Scott Benner 3:02
it's my turn. Now I rarely focus my energy on the company I work for. I just get off work as soon as I as possible. I used to leave early and return late to make money. Now I quit my job and found a new one that I can make a living while taking care of my child.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:18
Okay, okay, you could read this quote and think, Wow, is this parent becoming more balanced or, you know, we don't know, but oftentimes, from the research and from your stories, you know, we hear that because of this constant need to to monitor, to manage, the T, 1d that caregivers Do report experiencing some form of impact on their careers post diagnosis. So we're going to talk a little bit about

Scott Benner 3:45
this. Yeah, this happened to me. So, yeah, yeah.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:48
So did you make the choice to stay at home? Well,

Scott Benner 3:52
I mean, we made two different choices, the first one, and I just recently shared this with Arden, and I realized, as I was telling her, I don't think she knew this, but I think we were going to have three kids before Arden got diabetes. That was kind of like in our plan. And diabetes definitely kicked our ass, and it stopped us from having a third child. But I was a stay at home dad. I began being a stay at home dad in 2000 Wow, that really dates me, and the plan was to raise the kids, get them into kindergarten and then go back to work. So Cole was going to kindergarten as Arden was born about like, we kind of did that on purpose. We that was kind of the one thing we did on purpose that Cole would be around for like, a year while Arden was, you know, a baby, and then he'd go to school when she started toddling was kind of the idea. Then, when we realized that we probably weren't going to have another baby, and Arden got older and older, I was supposed to go back to work, and then we couldn't figure out how to accomplish that, like, because we were really bad at diabetes. Like, not good at it at all. And keeping in mind that diabetes back then meant. Like, we had a vial of insulin needles and, like, a little meter, that was it, right? But we didn't have a lot of direction from doctors and things like that. I guess I should say, we kept saying I should go back to work, and we needed me to, like, you know, but then we couldn't figure out how to do that. And then before long, it turned into, well, Arden's going to school, but she'll be home at 12. And then it was, Arden's going to school, but she'll be home at three. And like, who's going to be here and who's going to take care of the diabetes? And before you knew it, I looked up and I hadn't had a job in 20 years, you know what I mean. And that was not, not nearly part of the plan. And I will say, had I not done all this, I think it would have been detrimental to me, because I don't know where I am. Now, you know what I mean, like, I can't get a real job, Eric, I'm a podcaster, like, like, but, you know, aside from that, like, I don't know what I would do. Like, I was a real part of the workforce at one point. You know, it felt like I gave the idea of something or the possibility of something away, to stick around and pay attention to diabetes. So I'm sure a lot of people end

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:05
up doing and did that feel like a sacrifice at the time? Yeah? Or did yeah? No,

Scott Benner 6:11
no, it definitely did. Because, like, I love being a stay at home parent. I was really I think I was good at it, and I got a lot of enrichment out of it for me personally, like I've talked before about the idea that, like, you know, when Cole was a year or two old, I realized that, like, there were these, like things that came up that my wife seemed to kind of just intrinsically know the answer to, or and I would struggle with them. And I thought, like, if I don't give myself over to this process, like, he's going to end up having a half of an experience, and she's going to have this experience taken from her, because she's not getting to do it, and he's not getting what he would have gotten from her. So I thought, I have to throw myself into this. And it's when I, very early on, stopped looking at raising Cole as a task and more of a calling, like I tried to do it like that, you know. So I loved it. But at the same time, your friends are making money you really haven't lived till you've bought your wife a Christmas present with her money that she ends up not liking, you know, like so you start having that feeling like, I'd like to contribute. I'd like to make my own way. I want to feel more valuable that way as well. So yeah, it felt like I gave some things away. And I have had reflective moments in my life where, I mean, I joked about it a second ago, but I'm like, I don't know where I fit in society if I try to jump back into it. And I probably don't like I probably on paper, I don't think I'm hireable. You know what? I mean? Like, I, the last time I held a job, it was, was 1999

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:46
you know? Yes, well, we're grateful you're here. You're doing a great job for us here. Well, lovely, but

Scott Benner 7:53
I'm barely a greeter at Walmart on paper, is what I'm saying. So, like, you know? And I, I just didn't want a job that, like, a retiree got, like, as a I didn't want to be like, 45 years old and going back into the world and not being able to, like, even get back to the level where I was right, right. But anyway, I tried very hard to let that go. If you take insulin or so faucinyas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with jivo kypo pen. My daughter carries GEVO hypopin everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly, and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store jivo kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke. Glucagon.com/risk, for safety information

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:23
that is a big I mean, you are living and breathing what? Again, this research has reflected in the research, again that's been gathered from 1995 to 2021 for many parents that this burden of care results in, as you just said, the decision to adjust their work hours or leave jobs or careers entirely. These are things. These are themes that I talk about with clients, and I've heard people share right on the podcast, maybe you decide not to pursue a higher career ambitions like going back to get your higher level degrees grad school, you know. P. PhDs because of the work demands of taking care of your child, you might have avoided or avoid desired job opportunities. Maybe you get there's an opportunity for a raise or a promotion that may involve more travel, and you you can't take it because of the need to take care of your child. A lot of people stay at certain jobs because of health insurance, right? Like we are really driven by that need. And if you at a job that maybe you're not as satisfied with, but they have great health care benefits, you maybe make that sacrifice, right, to stay there.

Scott Benner 10:39
That's gotta happen so much with diabetes, right? Like it has to where people, you know, like the difference between something covering 60% and something covering 80% on items that are this expensive is, you know, it's impactful. You know, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:55
yes. And then, and then, even if you do decide to change jobs and go and you go through the whole rigmarole of changing insurances, insurance plans, and that is really complicated and challenging, right? Like you have to go through maybe prior authorization, etc, etc, you guys know, all the drills that experience, in and of itself might keep you at a job, even to say, I just, I can't go through this another insurance change for some of you may not have a nurse at school, so perhaps you have one of one of the if this is in a two parent household, whether or not you decide that one parent can no longer work or has to only have you know remote jobs, because who's going to run down to The School to change the pod or the device if there's no nurse, if you're at a private school or in public schools, you only have the nurse on Tuesdays. And for some of you might even decide, as are you saying to home school? Yeah,

Scott Benner 11:52
I hear a lot of people talk about just the fear of letting someone else make a medical decision one way or the other. There's people who don't trust the school nurse. Let it. They don't trust anybody like, you know, and I understand that, like, and I had this conversation recently with a person where they were saying, like, I don't, there's no one at my kid's school that I feel comfortable making, like, a dosing decision. And, you know, they can call me, that's great, but you still don't know what they're drawing up. You still don't know what they're twisting up with the pen or whatever's going on, dialing up on the pump, and I still don't feel comfortable. You know what I mean, like, so if the mom or the dad's like, I don't really feel like I know what I'm doing, I'm supposed to be telling them what they're like. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, how am I gonna give this at least when I'm there, it feels like I did it. It's me. I double checked it, you know, I don't know. It's just there's a lot of fear in there, and I lived through absolutely all that. I don't know how often I talk about it, but I thought it was important for Arden to go to preschool, so I took her to a half day preschool a couple of times a week. But you'd think, like, oh, there's your downtime. I just went out in the parking lot and sat in my car like, I was like, Oh, well, you go have this preschool experience, and I'll sit out here in case something goes wrong. And I don't think I went in maybe, like once in six months, but, you know, leaving was too far and, you know, it just felt ridiculous. Now, everybody can watch TV on their phones, but, man, I didn't have that, you know what? I mean, would have been awesome, but it just instead, I just sat there. I'll sit here for a few hours while she just in case. Yeah, and those are hours of my life that are like she's off being enriched, and I'm staring at the dashboard, you know? And then you've got to be able to do that without, without it feeling like a burden, or without it making you angry, or, you know, it's a word I'm looking for. I can't think of it resentful, yes, yeah, and

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:43
yes, so, and for some parents, this is, you know, it's just $1 and cents type of decision, right? Like, you have to stay at the certain job, but you need to keep it remote, or we can afford to only have one income coming in, so that, you know, but there's, there's emotion involved. And so when we talk about the tool, this is a really complicated one, because it might just be a dollars and cents issue, right? So that the tool with this is, is to notice the why, which we've been talking about, which, again, can be a challenge when you're burdened and in working full time or in trying to manage your child's type one, but underneath that, it's okay to like you just said. You don't want to be resentful. But let's say you've been in a career, and all of a sudden you get the job opportunity of a lifetime that you've been working towards, and you feel like you need to turn that down in order to be around for your child and to manage like there's grief there. Do

Scott Benner 14:46
you know how I became a stay at home dad? No daycare cost $100 more than I made a month. Oh, yes, okay, that's simple, like we went to the first of all, nobody. I mean, I don't want to say nobody. What? Did not want to. I'm going to make somebody upset, but I'm just going to tell you how I felt you can do whatever you want with it. I felt like we had a baby to put it in a kennel. That's what daycare felt like to me. I was like, what do we make it for if we're just going to go stick it in that building? Now, I had that feeling to begin with, but fair enough, that's what we were going to do. And then you shop around. Found a decent one where you felt like, oh, the kid might live through this, you know. Okay, it's close to your house. And then here's the bill with the month. And I remember going back to Kelly and saying, like, I make less than this cost. I'm like, I'm not on some fast track to be the CEO here. You know what I mean, like. So I said, Well, why don't I just stay home? Well, actually, the first thing I said to her is, why don't you stay home with him? And then she laughed at me for a while because she had, she had what they called opportunities, and I was maybe more working a job, you know, she actually very kindly said, like, I think you'd be great at this. Why don't you stay with him? And then I did. And then you realize, like, wow, like, we need the money, but it was going to be gone one way or the other. You know, like, it sucks to have to be put in that position, but diabetes puts you in that position, like, every day, to some degree or another, where you're just, like, it's always, like, you said $1 and cents, you know, decision you're making. So it's the whole, I mean, it just you're not ready for it. And by the way, just because it was a good financial decision doesn't mean you just wake up with, like, rainbows and unicorns flying through your head the next day. You're like, I just stopped working up until that moment, spent my entire life trying to get to the job I had. And I had some really terrible jobs, Erica, like, I worked my way through terrible jobs to get the, I don't know, the cleaner, at least I was indoors, you know? Like, and I was like, and I was like, okay, like, I've, I've worked my way up to this spot. If I leave, like, I fall back down to where I was. I hadn't ingrained myself in that place yet in the world, you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't just go trading off that again. Five years later, the world would have left me behind at that point. And then that all is in your head while you're doing this. So anyway, Jesus, this sucks. No wonder it's easy,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:06
well and yes, and I think as a parent, like it feels air quote, easy to make sacrifices for our children, right? Like we would say, Well, of course we would want to do what's best for our child, and perhaps saying no to that job opportunity, or saying no to a traveling job versus a remote job or an office job. Rather, that might feel easy in the moment, but there is more loss potentially there to your identity, to your social community network, to the way you feel like you're contributing to society and feeling those things doesn't mean that you're a bad parent or that you there is that resentment, maybe, is there sadness and grief around that it's a loss, right? So you're grieving the loss, you're grieving the diagnosis and the diabetes, and then there could be this kind of compound grief and loss around work, if you feel like you need to be making these decisions and sacrifices. Diabetes

Scott Benner 18:03
comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US med has done that for us. When it's time for Arden supplies to be refreshed, we get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from us. Med, you open up the email, it's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one. Us. Med, has done that for us. An email arrives. We click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple. Us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put this stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514. Or go to my link, us, med.com/juicebox, using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juicebox podcast. And there's also a flip side to the coin, which is, you could get put into that position but not be able to make the sacrifice. Like, so, yes, right? So financially, you're like, I can't just stay home, or put this kid in private school, or home school them, or wait, whatever the all the things we just talked about, you still have to get up and go to work the next day, and that kid still exists, and all of your problems still exist. So now the burden just shifts from like, oh, I gave this up and I feel bad about it, or I am resentful about it, to Oh, my God, I'm worried all the time while I'm at work, and I can't do a good job because I'm worried about this kid constantly, like you. Like you're not escaping this one way or the other. I think is the you got to pay the devil somewhere in this, in this scenario, you know what I mean? I've heard

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:07
that for the most part. I would say that's absolutely true for most families. It is rare that one and again, in a two parent household, if one parent can say, You know what, we're okay, I can, I can leave my career and and be the primary caregiver to our child with type one, but you are, I think you're also, conversely, let's say you can't, you don't have that luxury to make those kinds of decisions. And you do have to schlep into the office every day. And both of you do, yeah, and then you're trying to manage, and then you're trying to figure out, oh my gosh, we have to go in and help change the device. There's no nurse, you know that's there's so much you're

Scott Benner 20:43
lucky if you're in an office, because you could be at the bottom of a ditch, you know what I mean, or up a tree, or any number of horrible jobs that I had when I was growing up. Listen, I'll be clear about this. I was making $1,600 a month. Okay? I worked really hard to get to $1,600 a month, like, prior to, like, I don't know how many, how often people listen to this podcast, but like, coming out of high school, I didn't have any opportunities at all. I keep thinking of, oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Why am I thinking of that movie? Because he uses some phrase about opportunity anyway. That's way off track. But, like, I came out of there, I'll figure that out later. Okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:18
I haven't seen that in years. It's a good move. You should say it. I

Scott Benner 21:20
came out I came out. I was working at my uncle's sheet metal shop. I was making $5 an hour, five like, I worked a whole day of my life to make $40 and then the government took eight of it. I don't know why they felt like they needed my eight bucks, but they took it. I was going home with, like, 210, or 3060, 90, 120, 100, like, I mean, I maybe had, you know, God, it's so sad. I maybe had six, 700 bucks at the end of the month. Like, I worked a whole month for that money, right? So without college to get myself up to 1600 I was like, that was hard, and it took years, like, literal years, and then that money comes off the books. I guess this is where I should point out. I don't we didn't exactly make coal on purpose. He knows this, so it's not a big deal. We were still in the, you know, trying to get their phase, and then all of a sudden, we lost 17 or $1,600 a month. We were gonna lose 17 if we went to daycare. We lost $1,600 a month in income. And then there were costs. Do you remember the first time you bought diapers and you were like, Wait, how much are these? Yes, you know. And then forget diapers, insulin pumps, CGM, doctor's visits, blood tests over patches. Like, you know, I don't know everything all the like, think of that drawer in your house. What's in there? You know what I mean? Oh, geez. Again, Erica, yeah, all you do is bum me out. Go ahead.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:46
So what we're again? Yes, I hear that, and we're wanting the hope is right to to validate your experience, that this is something that is, you know, in the research that you guys are experiencing, and it's hard, but in this space of, you know, in this burden, it's okay to to validate the grief and loss around whatever that may be, whether it's feeling like you you have to stay in the workforce or you have to leave it wherever that rub is right, the tension, it's okay to to grieve that it doesn't make you a bad parent. So

Scott Benner 23:21
that's where the tools lie for this to get yourself around that are is, I mean, you have it put here so nicely, I don't I feel like if I'm going to say it, I'm going to mess it up. Go over them again for me.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:31
Okay, so, so in the in noticing the why, you know, wanting to encourage you to think about the burden that you're experiencing in in the career, in the insurance space, if you are feeling angry, resentful around some of these sacrifices, that that feels that that's normal, and there might be grief in that right in that space, you know, it's, it is. It's connected to the diabetes, but it's also separate, because you're feeling like you have to choose and to lose something that may be really important to you, and then, and secondly, to notice your thoughts and feelings around the decision when you do make it, if it's not just a dollars and cents decision, are you leaving a job because you feel like, is there shame driving that right? Like, Oh, I'm going to be a terrible parent if I choose to stay in the workforce, because I really find belonging and identity and satisfaction, and I'm really good at this thing that I do, but if I stay, am I going to feel, am I going to shame myself that I'm not a good enough caregiver to my child? So I probably should just quit and do this right? Like this is beyond all of the dollars and cents things that we're talking about,

Scott Benner 24:43
right? Well, the resent me too. I mean, listen, you can't have resentment because it's such a horrible thing, because it's you could feel resentful, but if you model the resentment, then you resent the diabetes and the choice it made you make, and the kid's going to have a. Time separating themselves from the diabetes, so it's going to feel like you resent them. And they could, yeah. I mean, it could. It might not, but it could, yes. And I think we all know somebody who, you know, had something happen in their life out of step with a plan, and it revolves around the arrival of a child. And you know, if you've been alive long enough, you get to look up in 20 years and see that that does not make for a great relationship so, and then it hurts people on both sides of that problem, to the kid and the and the parent. So I don't know. I mean, it's a lot of pressure here, but it very important, like it's a very important thing to notice, use your tools, get through it and hopefully just move on, because it in the end. Like, I hate to say this, but, like, it usually works out okay. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, everybody's financial situation is different, obviously, but, but people usually find a way to, like, exist that they're at the level that they're earning at. Like, hopefully, you know, yeah, I know sometimes you're just at a level where you can't get ahead no matter what you do. But I don't know. It's hard to talk about money. It

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 26:07
is, it is this, and this is a hard burden to discuss, because there are no really easy tools to be like, well, just, just go find a good job that you can stay at home and do all the things, right? So just the I think it's important to validate, because this is a significant part of the caregiver burden that isn't always emphasized, but is there something that part of the mental load, part of the things that you're carrying as a caregiver? And so I think it's important for us to highlight and validate and to encourage you to if you are able to have the luxury of time and space to think about your feelings around it and honor and offer the self compassion and

Scott Benner 26:45
no shame if you have to sell pictures of your feet online, I wish I had prettier feet. I would do it.

Unknown Speaker 26:51
I mean, you gotta

Scott Benner 26:53
do what you gotta do. I don't, you know. I mean, listen, there are other ways to get by, you know. And I think the important thing too is it doesn't need to be forever. It feels like it and but if I try to look back on my life, like, is there a moment where I could have just said, Okay, fine, she'll be okay if she comes home and I'm not here, yeah, and the answer is yes, but at that point, I was doing this, so I didn't have to go looking outside of the home, but I could have, like, at some point, like she knew what she was doing. We had a routine. There were, you know, like we had safety measures set up in different places. I could have gone to work. It wouldn't have been terrible. Would I have had to have left sometimes, maybe to help with something at school once or twice, probably. But also, there's an argument to be made that they would have just found a different way to do it if I couldn't be there, you know. So I don't know, make your

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:45
choices. Yeah, and things are seasonal. That's important point. Ooh, that was

Scott Benner 27:50
lovely. The way you said that, yes, things are seasonal. Is that a thing you say to people? Things are seasonal?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:56
I don't know. Maybe I should, though, yeah, I

Scott Benner 27:58
would definitely say that if I was you also, I think if your second toe is longer than your big toe, then you're not good for pictures. I think that's the is that what the research says? I know, if we're calling it research or not, Erica, but that's what I've heard, okay, from the kids. I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank

Unknown Speaker 28:16
you. You're welcome. You

Scott Benner 28:25
a huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Don't forget us med.com/juice, box. This is where we get our diabetes supplies from. You can as well use the link or call 888-721-1514, use the link or call the number. Get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us. Med, a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gevok, glucagon. Find out more about G vo hypo pen at G VOQ, glucagon.com, forward slash, Juicebox. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com, forward slash juice box. I want to thank you so much for listening and remind you please subscribe and follow to the podcast wherever you're listening right now, if it's YouTube, Apple podcast, Spotify, or any other audio app, go hit follow or subscribe, whichever your app allows for, and set up those downloads so you never miss an episode, especially in Apple podcasts, go into your settings and choose, download all new episodes. Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less? A little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would. I think I see something here, but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox podcast. It begins at. At Episode 1000 you can also find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better, and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way, recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way. Recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You want rob you.