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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

This is part two of our heading off to college series with Andrea on today's episode, we'll be focusing on what caregivers need to understand about the relationship between the college and the student and how much can be shared with the parent, that and much more in today's episode, nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan? Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident? If you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d exchange.org/juicebox, and take the survey. When you complete that survey, your answers are used to move type one diabetes research of all kinds. So if you'd like to help with type one research, but don't have time to go to a doctor or an investigation and you want to do something right there from your sofa, this is the way t 1d exchange.org/juice box. It should not take you more than about 10 minutes. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast. Private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth. Use the offer code Juicebox at checkout at cozy earth.com and you will save 40% off of your entire order. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one. This is my favorite diabetes organization, and I'm just asking you to check them out at touch by type one.org, on Facebook and Instagram. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing together caregivers and parents of children with type one. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Sarah, Mom of Jackson, who's an active 10 year old boy with type one. Sarah is married with two children and a recruiter at a law firm. Thanks to Medtronic Sarah and her family found the support of the Medtronic caregiver community valuable in their journey. Hey Andrea, welcome back. Thanks for doing this with me.

Unknown Speaker 2:25
Hey Scott,

Andrea Lafleche 2:26
no problem. I love being here.

Scott Benner 2:27
Cool. So in the first episode, we talked a lot about accommodations. That was actually a really great conversation about accommodations. But today we're going to pivot a little bit. What do you

Unknown Speaker 2:37
want to talk about

Andrea Lafleche 2:38
today? Sure I want to talk about now. I titled this for caregivers, but definitely important for students as well. A little more about some general laws or things that schools have to abide by that will help you give some more context when you're dealing with institutions or professionals. And then talk about some suggestions, really from me and my experiences of, you know, supporting your students and how to help them advocate for themselves and work with the institution, since that role is really on them. Now, they're they're 18, or they're a college student, regardless of their age, and these things are kind of on them. Now,

Scott Benner 3:15
can't you just do what I did and say, you know, if you want to go to school and me support this. You'll let me come to this meeting. Or can I you could?

Andrea Lafleche 3:25
I don't know how great that is for your relationship. I guess every every parent and their students relationship is different, so that might, that might be something, and I'm sure your student might want you there, but once they're fully a student and they're on their own there, we're not calling you, right? Your student might call you and be like, can you talk to Andrea in Student Conduct? And I'm going to answer the phone and say, Do you have a FERPA waiver signed? Oh, they don't. The student needs to come in. Or they told me I can't talk to you about that. You need to talk to them. So

Scott Benner 3:55
you've had to say that to a parent. You've had to say, Oh, you want to know about this. Your student told me not to tell you about this. Is that true? Has that happened? I mean,

Andrea Lafleche 4:06
I haven't said it like that, but basically, yes, like your student told me to the student told their parents, and the parents called me, and I'm like, well, there's no FERPA waiver on file, so I can't I can't call, I can't talk to you. You need to have them sign that

Scott Benner 4:20
you were polite. I see I got you

Andrea Lafleche 4:23
some I'll say some of us, some of us are like, no FERPA. I try very hard to speak in generalities, because I can and talk about, this is our general process. If something like that were to happen, this is what would happen, or this is the general direction, or the general outcomes of something like that, especially if I was talking about student conduct, but never would I get into a student's file of any kind unless I had that that signature from them saying that they can I can talk to their parent, which is why I generally suggest that parents and caregivers support their students. By talking to them and supporting them in having those conversations on their own, or finding the information and supporting them being their own advocate. Excellent. But for those that don't know what FERPA is, if they didn't hear our little spiel in the first episode, FERPA is the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. Some people call it the HIPAA of higher education. Similar vein, your parents will be used to this from their child's high school or middle school, elementary school, where they do have access right to their students files. That changes once a student goes to college, whether they're 18 or not, the student then becomes the eligible student, and all the rights of FERPA transfer from the parent to the student. Okay, by

Scott Benner 5:50
the way, you just said, even if I'm like, somehow I get into college early. I'm like, 17 and a half, I'm in college. That's it, correct. Okay,

Andrea Lafleche 5:58
okay, age does not matter at this point.

Scott Benner 6:01
So if I find myself on the phone yelling at somebody going, I pay for this. You can tell me what they're great, that kind of thing. It doesn't matter. Correct.

Andrea Lafleche 6:07
Gotcha Correct? Correct. Now, student, the student, can give consent for information to be shared, but they can decide who and what information. So a lot of schools in like, the financial aid portal might have, like, a section where this you can say yes, like, you can talk to my parent about the bill check signed good to go just because they say yes, you can tell my parent about financial aid or the bill that I have that's not giving the right to everyone, right? So if they end up in a conduct situation or something's going on in housing that form doesn't apply to the other areas of school, they will have to give consent to that office to talk about that situation. And they can be as broad with their consent, or as narrow they can say, yes, you can talk about this situation that happened on this day, today with my parent. And once today is over, the consent is revoked, right? And that consent can be revoked at any time. So just because they did it once doesn't mean that it's forever, which is something we run into as well when parents are calling so something to think about. Pretty interesting. Actually, there are some exceptions. So if somebody does a deep dive or goes and Googles and goes on the government website, they might see that there are exceptions to FERPA in emergencies related to drugs and alcohol if a student's under 21 however, that's at the discretion of the school. It's not mandated that the school says during these incidents, here's the information you need. It's more of a you have the option. So I've worked at a variety of institutions. Some were very much like FERPA, everything is under it. It does not matter if it could be an exception, we're not going to do that. And some are like no part of our process is if somebody violates the drug policy or the alcohol policy under 21 we'll call the parents, we'll notify them that this happened, give them that information, because we are able and move on. So if you have multiple children going off to college, you could have different experiences with FERPA at your schools. Okay? Because it's a you can, not a you must, right?

Scott Benner 8:10
I understand. So you might get the Hey, Mrs. Jones, it's Andrea. Come get your heroin addict. We don't want her here anymore. Yes, in other places, your kid could be have done something illegal, been arrested on campus, and no one's going to tell you or have any reason why they need to. This episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, and this is Sarah. Sports

Speaker 1 8:30
are his life. He was nine years old. He was just starting to develop his own personality and his own passions and his own independence, and instantly we were afraid that that was going to be taken away. It was a very scary time for me. I would say probably the first couple weekends, there was a lot of fear about what happens if I go low. Obviously, now that we're on Medtronic technology, what we do managing his diabetes during athletics, has changed drastically. The Medtronic technology that we are using has almost eliminated the fear I have while my child is playing.

Scott Benner 9:04
As far as community goes, have you met other people with diabetes? What's some good advice you've gotten from them?

Speaker 1 9:09
I have met so many people with diabetes. This summer, I had the opportunity to meet others that are using electronic technology, and I feel like we have built such a strong connection because we speak the same language, we don't even have to say what we're going through. I have good friends that are Medtronic mamas that I can reach out to that have been incredibly helpful, and then our Medtronic rep has been phenomenal

Scott Benner 9:37
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Andrea Lafleche 10:57
So just some things to know. If you are gonna call the school and ask questions, depending on what's going on and their kind of stance on it, you're going to get potentially a different experience. Can

Scott Benner 11:06
I ask a question that's not going to be specific for like, the people listening? Don't apply this to your situation. This is just me. I'm interested. Yeah. Do you think professionals that do what you do, like, I know that's the law, so that's what we do, but do you think they wish that wasn't the law. I mean, my, I guess my question is, is, don't 1819, 20 year old kids still need their parents sometimes, or is that not the case? Like, what's your finding? Seriously? Like, personally, sure,

Andrea Lafleche 11:30
I think it's so hard and it's so nuanced, because I would like to think that the majority of college students have a good relationship with their parents, and that they can go to them that they made a mistake now they have to deal with the consequences, and then that's not going to blow up their whole life. But we know that, unfortunately, that's not true. I kind of can see both sides. I appreciated when I worked at a school, and specifically when I was doing conduct that I if I was able to talk to a parent about, like, a drug or alcohol thing. I think for the majority of students, I don't want them to get to a place where they're on the cusp of being expelled and their parents have no idea. I think that's more hurtful for them. But I think sometimes too where we are now, right? I've seen a lot of different parents styles as I've been in higher education, right? As I said bulldozer earlier. That's kind of the era we're in. I had probably more what we termed helicopter parents, a little less of that, as I was earlier in my career. So it was like a different conversation. But for me, and the reason I got into higher education is like providing a space where students can learn outside the classroom as well, right? They're really in this environment with other their peers. They're doing things outside of education, outside of like academic education, and they're able to make mistakes and do these things and learn from them. And I think sometimes, unfortunately, we're in an era where parents want to fix

Scott Benner 12:59
a lot of things for their child, not let things unfold and grow, right? And

Andrea Lafleche 13:05
not Yeah. So I think there's definitely some situations where, like, if I'm able to notify in an emergency, I definitely want to, I would ideally be like to be able to do that as one of the exceptions. But in general, it's another tool. We kind of have to work with the student to help them learn how to take accountability and to own up to their actions for themselves at the school and with their their parents or caregivers, because they have to be able to gain those skills of like, yeah, I screwed up. How do I how do I go about owning that with my family?

Scott Benner 13:36
I would imagine, too that there's some like, if you grew up in a good situation, you wouldn't know this, but there are probably some parents that are holding their kids back too, right? Like, it's not, like, Leave It to Beaver. Everything's not all great. These people, these kids, are finally at school, and they're like, Oh, I'm safe. I'm good. Like, I don't have this happen anymore. I don't have a drunk person yelling in my ear all the time or whatever. Then you go reintroduce them to I got you. Okay? All right, I'm sorry. I appreciate knowing that. Thank

Andrea Lafleche 13:58
you. No, that's great. The other thing that I want everyone to know about, students, parents, caregivers, is the Clery Act. Have you ever heard of this? Scott, no, no. Okay, it's a law. Comes from Jane Cleary. I'm remembering correctly. She was a student at La Fauci in Pennsylvania. I won't get too much into the history, but basically, because of her death on campus, there has been a law and some requirements around that law, including an annual safety report and annual fire report that schools must put out every year that goes through a litany of basically what kind of incidents, what things are happening on and near campus, putting together report and the data. There's a lot of different nuances to it, but every school is required to post this on their website. So if you're concerned about maybe a location, your student is looking at a school going to or you're like, oh, that seems like it could be dangerous or not really sure what's going on there. You can just search it in their website. It'll pop up. The reason I bring this up is not necessarily. For those incidents, but more for this is going to provide you all the emergency procedures that a school has, okay, right? So you can get a better understanding if you're nervous, what happens if there's an emergency on campus? Where might they take my child if they have maybe a low blood sugar? It's going to list all of the hospitals in the area. It's going to give you a lot of information that you might find beneficial. As you're looking at schools, right? Instead of doing a Google search, you can just look at this report, and it'll give you a lot of information about, again, emergency procedures, hospitals, emergency phone numbers. So if you're like, shoot like, Who do I need to call if I'm worried about my child not responding to my texts in the middle of night because their Dexcom says they're low, right? You can already have that information ahead of time, yeah, so you're not feeling like you have to search for it. I think it's a great tool not many people know about that can give you information about the campus that you're considering or the campus that your child has decided that they want to go to. I looked

Scott Benner 15:58
it up real quickly, so they published an annual security report. Schools must publish an annual report detailing campus security policies, safety procedures, crime statistics for the previous three years, which includes crimes like assault, theft, sexual assault and hate crimes. They have to do emergency notifications in a timely fashion. They're required to issue timely warnings about crimes that pose a serious or ongoing threat to the students and the staff, they have to post the crime statistics. It mandates that schools collect, maintain and report accurate crime statistics, categorized by location, on or off campus, public property around the around the campus. Rights and resources for cases involving sexual assault. The Clery Act requires schools to provide resources and outline rights for victims, including counseling and information on reporting options and disciplinary procedures. And the Act specifically specifies that geographic area for which the college must report the crime stats, which includes on campus buildings. This is why, when my son was first in college, we were told that there was like a it's gonna sound crazy, but like a freight train that stops near the campus, and it was known to be involved in human trafficking, like that train line, and that we were made aware of that. And I was like, why would someone just that's such a random thing? It felt like for somebody to tell me, but that's this. They didn't tell me. If they wanted to, they had to. Oh, cool, pretty much, yeah, I got it, yeah.

Andrea Lafleche 17:17
So yes, you can get a great picture of kind of what's happening, like you said, crime stats for the last three years, but then all of this information about procedures we get, in my experience for the last two years, with the link talking to caregivers, they're very concerned about, you know, emergency procedures. What would happen? Who do I call? So this is a easy thing to find, because it has to be so public that outlines all of that for you, instead of trying to kind of piecemeal things together yourself, highly suggest checking this out. Okay. All right. Thank you. Yeah. All right. So let we kind of dove into FERPA. So I want to talk a little bit about what I think, and this is me, personally and my experience, some things that could be helpful to help your student get the support they need, since you can only get so far as a parent now, now that they're off to college, you can only get so far. We can only say so much to you. And really you're not you're not physically there, right? And it's just a good skill for young adults to have to be able to advocate for themselves in a variety of situations, figure out who the best person is to talk to. So while it might be really tempting to pick up the phone and call me about whatever's going on, whether that's a roommate situation, a conduct situation, their accommodations, I really want you to think about what is a different way that you could support your student. And you know your students best, but things that come to my mind is asking them if they want support finding the best person, right? If they're at a large school, maybe they're not connected yet, because they're a first year student and they're just like, overwhelmed with, who would I even talk to about this issue with? See if they want support from you finding out who that person is, right? Help them do a web search. Or if they're like, Yes, can you please just find the person that I need to talk to do that piece and be like, I think this person makes the most sense, and just get them connected to one person as a student affairs professional. While we all have our niches, I worked in these specific areas. I'm going to be very connected to the other professionals on my campus. I'm going to have knowledge of the other resources, the other offices. So if you find me, for example, and Arden comes to me and is like, I'm having this issue. Hey, Arden, I can't personally help you with this, but let me get you connected to my friend Kelly. She works in this office, and I know that she will be able to help you with this concern. And most likely, I'm going to bring you to that that office. I'm going to connect you via email, whatever is most comfortable for that student, but one of the ways that you can help them, instead of picking up that phone, is just helping them find the information. Maybe they are worried about not saying the right thing or explaining the issue correctly, or they're really not sure what to say. Maybe it's more of Do you want to run through this conversation? Do you want to write down some talking points? And I know for me when I'm nervous or I'm going into a conversation that might be uncomfortable, even now, as a professional, I'm going to write down my talking points, like, that's something that helps me. Maybe that's going to help your student. Maybe they will feel more comfortable if you kind of brainstorm what questions might be asked, or like, what information is important about the situation to share with the campus professional, and they'll feel more comfortable going into the conversation that way.

Scott Benner 20:26
We just had this at home. Arden needed information from, uh, from an office at school. She texted me. She goes, I do not know who to reach out for this, so I said, Okay, so I figured out who it was, and I said, it's this phone number, this email address, this person. I sent it to her, and I didn't hear back from her. But then the other day, she said, I emailed that lady, and I haven't heard back from her. And I said, Well, maybe you should call her, because younger people are very afraid of the phone. By the way, a lot of people, not just younger people. I don't know what it's happened to all of you, you know. So I said, Well, if you want a faster answer, you should call. And she goes, now I'm gonna email again. I said, Okay. I said, go ahead and do that. But that whole process, because we're not rushing, it's the thing we're doing for the future, doesn't feel like, oh, we have to know right now. And it does teach her, like she just sit down and compose the email she had to see that people don't always respond right away and reach so she's having a learning experience and and the thing that we need done is still going to get accomplished, you know, just right? Yeah. And

Andrea Lafleche 21:23
I think these are all the things about going to college, that's the learning outside the classroom. And if we're trying to do it for them, they're not going to have that experience for when they eventually have to do it in their future job, or they're not going to feel as confident and giving them those options, right? Like, maybe I didn't know that, like, I could call them, right? Or maybe the phone number isn't available, right? Schools put out information in different ways, depending on who's logging into their system. You might need to be a student to get access to that phone number, just giving the option, like, oh, you could call them, or have you thought about going to the office, right? So maybe they call, they didn't get a response. They left a voicemail. They didn't get a response. Okay? Like, what do you want your next step to be? You could try these things again, or you could go to the office, or, let's see if there's another person that we can get you in touch with, right? And just helping them kind of think through it instead of doing it for them, is so valuable in that moment, and I think down the road as well, right, for getting them on that road of independence. Very nice.

Scott Benner 22:22
Okay, listen, I agree. It's the unintended consequence. I mean, you brought it up for a reason, so you must see it all the time, right? But it's the unintended consequence of like, what you described, like parenting right now sometimes leans more towards, I'll take care of it, we'll fix this, that kind of thing. And you're stopping the kids from having these problem solving experiences. And I get it because you You also could get run over, because every look, if everybody else's mom is out there fixing it, and your mom's not fixing it, it's possible they're getting ahead of you because of that. And I get the pressure behind that. But you know, to me, it's like preschool. If no one sent their kid to preschool. None of us would have to send our kid to preschool. It's the first one of you that was like, I want my kid to know how to count on day one at kindergarten. You messed it up for all of us. I hope you're happy. But you know what I'm saying? It's good. Yeah, I like it.

Andrea Lafleche 23:12
And they're, I would say they're only going to get ahead for so long, though, oh yeah, it's

Scott Benner 23:15
gonna, it's gonna fall backwards on them at some point, because they're gonna get into a real adult situation where you're not although I know this is probably apropos of almost nothing, but my wife once interviewed a person in a job interview, like a person in their 2324 year old range. My wife asked some sort of question during the course of the conversation, like sitting in her office having this conversation, the person says, Oh, I don't know the answer to that. And my wife was about to go, that's fine, you know, like, I'm, you know, it's fine. She goes, my mom knows, though, I can go ask her. And my wife goes, your mom is here. And she goes, yeah, she's downstairs waiting for me. And my wife, like, picked up the paper and wrote no in the corner and then continued politely to have the conversation. She brought her mom to her job interview.

Andrea Lafleche 23:59
Oh, I'm not surprised. Yeah, that's, that's a big thing that's happening these days. I

Scott Benner 24:03
can't believe you're not surprised. That's, that's fascinating. Anyway, yeah, that's crazy, absolutely the craziest thing I've ever heard, apparently, not the craziest thing you've ever heard. But go ahead. Move definitely not move forward, please. Yeah, I

Andrea Lafleche 24:16
think in the same vein, talking about boundaries with your student, your student hopefully talking to you about them before, but I also believe that they probably won't. Is important, right? And doing that as you're I mean, the sooner, the better. But let's just say you're at the college search process. We're starting that now, maybe start talking about them while you're doing the search, right? And because I think that they they relate as well to all the things we've talked about before, right? You're thinking about, what does the mail system look like? What does getting you medication look like? And so these conversations about, not necessarily innocuous things, but these lesser stress potentially things as you're doing the search can. Help facilitate this boundary conversation of like, okay, so it seems like the mail would work for us to get you your insulin. Like, do you still want me to order it? Or do you want to tell me you need it and then order it? Or do you just want me to take care of it? Right? And, like, bringing up boundaries in these small, maybe bite sized, very situational things. If this is not typically something that you're having conversations about, or you don't feel particularly confident in using these as opportunities to kind of build that into the conversation and get better and better at it, so that when you're like, Oh, it's this, do we have three months until you're leaving? Okay, maybe we need some of these bigger conversations about what does contacting you when your blood sugar is low look like? If that feels like the big, scary conversation to have? Oh,

Scott Benner 25:47
I think if you and I don't do an entire episode about what to do in that situation, we'll be letting people down. I think that's all that people are worried about. To be perfect. What happens if my kids drunk and has diabetes, and if their blood sugar is low and they're sleeping and they won't wake up. I bet you, that's most of their concerns. So definitely,

Andrea Lafleche 26:03
yeah, yeah, we can definitely hit on that a little bit in a second. But think about how can you weave boundaries into these little conversations? Again, if it's not your typical go to, like, if you're that's not something you're currently doing with your child, how do we make it easier and kind of set, figure out the little the little boundaries, if you will, to help get to the bigger ones, and know that they might change, right? And know like as like they're supposed to as your child grows and gains more independence, and you kind of trust more that they've got this but use the little things you're talking about as they're searching to have those conversations, I think is a great place to start and maybe even testing some of those things out, right? So if we're talking about sharing or not sharing, I will completely admit sharing was not a thing when I was in college. CGM were barely a thing. So this is not something I have personal experience with, but comes up often. So does your student want something different than what's currently happening while they're in high school? Do you use their senior year or even their junior year? Like, let's test out how that goes as a trial period when you're still kind of in your same routine, have the same supports that you're used to. Does it go well, okay? Like, let's consider implementing that. Did it not go well? Why didn't go well? What can we adjust to hopefully get to where they want to be eventually, so that everyone is safe and everybody feels as confident as they can sending their student off to college? Yeah,

Scott Benner 27:31
very nice. Oh, that's a lot to think about, isn't there?

Andrea Lafleche 27:34
There really is.

Scott Benner 27:36
Most of it hinges on pre planning, though it really does. Like, as you're talking, I keep thinking like, if you're a person who's like, I'll cross that bridge when we come to it, you're going to come to a lot of bridges that are washed out. But if you plan ahead, you're going to find ways around that miles before you ever get to it. And it's nice, because how would you know otherwise? Really, you know what I mean. Andrea, like, if you're not here talking about and I don't have experience that I'm sharing in house. Anyone who's the first time are gonna know to ask about stuff like this, or wonder about these things, or like, the littlest ideas that, like, you know, I'll bring up some other things that I you know, as they fit in the conversation, but there's things I've learned along the way I never would have imagined. So

Andrea Lafleche 28:16
even for those, like, for first generation college student completely like, where do you even start? But even as a parent that's gone to college before, you probably didn't go with diabetes one, and even if you did, when I just realized this, when I went to college, I pretty sure I couldn't even get accommodations under the ADA because they hadn't changed what was considered disability until 2008 so maybe my senior year. I guess I could have tried, but diabetes and stuff wasn't really covered under the ADA the same way that it is now. So you're still even with experience. Things are so different now that you're kind of starting you're starting over in a way, like just because you had the experience doesn't mean it's the same or that you're thinking about the same things that your child with diabetes needs to think about.

Scott Benner 29:07
In hindsight, would you have been better off with those accommodations?

Andrea Lafleche 29:10
I think so, and I'm definitely a person that's like, diabetes doesn't stop me. I will do whatever I want with it, in a way, right? But looking back, there was never a time that I was, like, super low and couldn't take an exam, but I can definitely see that. I think I would have done better academically if I had had the ability to have some of these accommodations. Do you think

Scott Benner 29:32
it would have just lifted a weight, like, is there like a din of noise at the back of your head that goes away when you know you're safe in these situations, so even if they're not a problem, you're not worried about them.

Andrea Lafleche 29:42
Yeah, I think definitely not having to think about like, if I was going low and I actually remember a time. And luckily, I'm the type of person everybody knows. I have diabetes, my pump sites, my Dexcom. Like I wear them wherever I want. I don't care if they're showing. Entire like, that's just me as a person. I'm very comfortable talking about it to anybody and everybody. Like, ask me the question, whatever, I'm here to talk about it. So my professors knew, my friends knew. But I remember being in an American Sign Language class, and we were in the final and luckily, my TA was my friend, because we had a substitute professor that day, and I remember sitting watching the professor sign, and we had to, like, write what she was saying, or, like, interpret it, or whatever. And I'm like, why can't I, like, I don't understand what she's signing at all. And it was, like, super basic, like, I know this stuff, right? And this was pre CGM, so nothing's alerting me that I'm going low. And it finally clicked on, like, Oh, I think my blood sugar is low. So I was able to get the attention of my TA and like, I'm like, I'm going low. I need to, like, have a snack, whatever. And so luckily, she was able to explain, and like, everybody was super accommodating to me in the moment of, like, I took care of it, I came back, finished the exam, and then she, like, re signed the stuff that I had missed, and it was fine. No big deal. But I can't imagine, like, what that experience would be like if it was a much larger classroom, right? Like, there's only maybe 15 of us in there. We all knew each other very well because of the type of class it was. But if that happened in my econ 101, 300 purse lecture hall. They're not most likely like, I don't know the professor that well, especially if I never needed to go to office hours or whatever. So I could definitely see it potentially hindering me in the moment. But knowing, like, the amount of time that maybe my blood sugar was high, my blood sugar was low, and I couldn't focus on whatever I was studying, or those types of things. It would have been nice to kind of have that, that backup plan, if you will, official backup plan,

Scott Benner 31:51
because I can see people hearing this and coming at it from both ways. Like, you know, diabetes, like, there's plenty. Listen if you want to watch an argument online, go ask about getting in line sooner at a theme park, if you have diabetes, you'll get large group of people will come in and argue, half of them, I'm not disabled. This is you can do it, and they're gonna be somebody goes, Look, my blood sugar drops out. I don't know why. It just does. You know what I mean? Like, and they'll fight about this over and over. And a lot of people don't want to be called disabled. I understand that as well. Yeah. But having the the ability to just put a few things in place, I don't know they're, they're like, smoke detectors, like, I don't really expect my house is ever going to burn down, but if they do, I've got smoke detectors, and that makes me feel better, like that, that kind of, that's how I think about this. And if something does catch fire, then great, I'll know ahead of time. I'll have a plan, I'll get out, I'll be okay, and we'll deal with what happens next. That's just sort of how I think about this. Like I said, Martin's had a 504 plan throughout her schooling years. She had accommodations to the first school she went to, but I have to admit, when she switched schools, we didn't do any because we already knew how it all worked and everything and like, and she's like, I don't really need any of this. And we said, Okay, I said, even about testing and everything. And she said, let me try it without first. So I said, Okay, and now we're doing it that way, and then we're going to reassess at the end of semester and try to decide if she feels like she needs anything added in. I think she puts more time into creating conversations with teachers and letting people know where she's at so that if something happens, they can kind of deal with it like that. But I mean, that could backfire on at some point too. So I'm glad I did it. I don't think she won't do it again. But without it, I'm not scared anymore, I guess so, but that's comes with experience a little bit.

Andrea Lafleche 33:34
So yeah, it's all personal, because, again, we're all individuals. We all deal with our diabetes differently. We are coming into college with different comfortability, of like, navigating that transition, I'd say specifically with diabetes. So yeah, if you don't want to do them, we're not going to seek you out, right? That's the other thing. Like, right? I might even see somebody with a Dexcom V I'm not going to be like, hey, Debbie in Disability Services. Can you please contact this student, like June? Like, No, nobody's No, I cannot, right, right, so nobody's going to reach out to you about that. But, like you said, like, it's good to have the just in case, just in case.

Scott Benner 34:13
I wish she did it again the next time, but, and I think she might in the future, just things were kind of rushed, and I guess it brings up the point that we weren't able to pre plan that gotten it got in the way. But I'll tell you right now, one of the things that it caused an issue with immediately is she went into housing. It kind of had suites, and then the suites had bedrooms, but the bedrooms were private, and so the minute the door closes, it's locked from the inside, so no one can get and you need her card to get into the room. So that's it. Arden's locked in a concrete box at night when she's sleeping. And I'm like, what do we do about that? Exactly, you know what I mean, like, if there's a real problem. And then you come to the realization that if I don't have something in place, the only thing I'm going to do about it is call 911, it's the only option I have. So, you know. That I wish we would have thought through a little clear. But anyway, good. Is there anything else on this piece? No,

Andrea Lafleche 35:05
I think, I think that's kind of, you know, it's teach their own but, yeah, excellent. Since you brought up the concrete box that nobody can get into, that kind of brings up what you said everybody's nervous about, which is their child going low and nobody able, like, who's helping them. Yeah, right. And that's definitely a concern. I think you've talked in previous podcasts and different things, kind of what you've done previously with roommates, and then you suggest, you know, telling, at least tell the roommate, and at least let them know what glucagon is or what to do, type situation. And I think that's great. I, for a variety of reasons, always suggest if a student can not be in a single at least their first year, don't put them in a single. Don't give them a single, not even diabetes wise, just like growth and meeting people and community, highly suggest roommates, they'll figure it out. I promise. Right,

Scott Benner 35:58
right. Yeah, not feeling alone is a big deal when you go away to college. It really is. If you get stuck with like a crackpot, then that's a little more difficult. But like, you know, generally speaking, we

Andrea Lafleche 36:09
will help you with that, right? We don't want you to have a bad roommate situation. And I would also from, again, my work experience, not always the best. If you're going to school and you have a friend from high school going with you not always the best to room with them either. I will almost guarantee there's a there's a likelihood you will no longer be friends after, after rooming together.

Scott Benner 36:30
You know, what I've seen a lot is one of them wanted to be roommates, but the other one didn't have the heart to say no, and then it builds like resentment. So anyway, good yeah. Good point,

Andrea Lafleche 36:39
yeah. So highly suggest just get a random roommate, or, like, a lot of times now you can, like, there's almost call them like, matching services, right? You're putting in information, and the school is kind of matching you as someone that makes sense based on routine and major and different things like that. Cool, but if it doesn't work out, they will help you just talk to the staff. That's why we exist, is to make sure that things are going well, right? But if there is an emergency concern, you look like you have a question, Scott,

Scott Benner 37:05
you made me just think we could be rich. Andrea, why are we not starting an app like housing, Tinder, or something like that? Because

Andrea Lafleche 37:11
it already exists. Oh, okay, not necessarily an app, but the systems exist.

Scott Benner 37:16
Oh, it has to be like, What a great because I'm going to my son who went into college as an athlete, and so he knew all the guys that were coming in that year to play the sport. They got into a group chat. They learned about each other, and then very naturally, they started kind of quietly picking each other and then splitting off and having different conversations. And I remember my son came in one day and he said, Hey, I'm in a room with this guy my freshman year, and he said we have very similar interests. And he went over a number of different things, and he's like, even we, like, think similarly politically, he goes so like, he's like, I think this all works. And I was like, I was like, go for it. But then that was the example, too, that there were two young guys. They both knew they were the right ones, but not one of them would like, do the thing. So it's like, just text him and say that and see what he and he texts back and goes, Oh, I was thinking the same thing, but I didn't know what to say. So they both were thinking the same thing. Neither of them spoke up that boys, you know what I mean,

Andrea Lafleche 38:11
general, it's vote it's a vulnerable thing to be like, Hey, I feel like we're a good fit. Yeah, because what if they're like, No, no way. Like, you know? So it seems easy, but it's not, because then you're either with this person or you have to see them, and you have this awkward conversation too.

Scott Benner 38:28
Oh, I remember you. You wanted to room with me, and I don't like you at all.

Andrea Lafleche 38:32
I think you're crazy. Yeah, great. Orientation is a good time to do that, because typically orientation is happening potentially before you're putting in your housing stuff. Again, every school is different how they're doing this, but yeah, just a personal thing. Try not to room with a friend. You think it's going to work, and I can almost guarantee it probably won't. Yeah, so hey, yes,

Scott Benner 38:54
from my experience with two, only two kids in the end, if you either are or aren't a drinker or drug user. Do not match yourself up with the opposite person. It is not going to go well, right? Greg, just like birds of a feather in that situation really makes things go easier, from what I've seen Anyway, yes, yes, no, I agree. Andrew, while we're talking about the things that people worry about that aren't really on your list. There's a statistic you've been out of the game for a while now, though, but about half of college students will try drugs while at college, and about half won't. That's an interesting statistic, because I bet if you ask people, they wouldn't think that it's a coin flip. Have you ever heard about those stats? Or No,

Andrea Lafleche 39:37
I haven't, actually. But I'm not surprised. Okay, not a lot of things surprise me, especially when it comes to college students. That seems legit. I guess my question about the stat is, are they including marijuana, or are they excluding that from the drug category?

Scott Benner 39:56
She's like, wait, they don't all smoke weed. I don't know. Well,

Andrea Lafleche 40:01
I would assume they're including marijuana, which makes that a very believable statistic to me. They could be not and I would still believe it. Well,

Scott Benner 40:09
yeah, I mean, not to be scary, but like, cocaine is pretty popular right now, right? You still in the game? Do you? No, I don't mean like, are you doing it? I mean, have, I meant through your professional endeavors? Have you heard because you said you were involved, you're involved you're involved in student discipline issues.

Andrea Lafleche 40:23
I was yes, I'm

Scott Benner 40:25
sorry. I'm laughing because she looked at me like, are you What do you want me to tell people?

Andrea Lafleche 40:31
Yeah. I mean, I've been out of, as you say, the game, for probably a year and a half now. I did some contract stuff. I would say it depends on where you are, what your drug of choice that's going to be popular is one marijuana across the board. I mean, it's legal in many places now, so that is going to be on basically every college campus. And I will say for those young adults that are listening to this, if it's legal in the state, it's still not allowed on campus, because campus is governed by federal law when it comes to this. So none of those campuses are going to be like, Yeah, cool. You can have marijuana if you're of age, like you can have alcohol. They're not going to most likely, in my experience, if your foul, if you are documented for having marijuana on campus or using marijuana on campus, most likely this was going to treat it like you're underage drinking, in my experience, but you still can't have it. If something

Scott Benner 41:24
gets legal, you're not covered just because, like, it's legal in Jersey, like, and you're in Jersey, right, correct. I found the data, by the way, it said, Okay, great. A significant number of college students initiate drug use during college years. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, approximately 1326 full time college students. Ages 18 to 22 start using an illicit drug on an average day. And then it says this statistic does include marijuana use, so Okay, also it includes alcohol. But it's funny because and it says, to a lesser extent, other illicit drugs. But crazy as it sounds, I find that to be an uplifting statistic, like, it means if you send your kid off to school, you have a 5050, chance of this not becoming their lifestyle. And I think everyone thinks that's what's going to happen to their kids when they go away.

Andrea Lafleche 42:12
Interesting, yeah. I mean, this is very anti, I would say anecdotal, potentially, maybe there's studies on it. Also, I lived this in a way like, I think those students that are going to college that are very sheltered or that this is not something we talk about at home, this is not something that you can experience. It's like taboo. No, no, no, no, no no. This is awful, are potentially more likely be like, Oh, look at all this freedom I have. I want to try everything. Yeah, and those that not that the parents or caregivers are giving them permission to go drink underage or use drugs, but that it's not a taboo, and I will give from my own personal experience. I think also for me, the diabetes played into like, I don't know what that's going to do with this. And like, I don't want to f up my life.

Scott Benner 43:02
I don't want to be double unconscious later tonight. Yeah, yeah,

Andrea Lafleche 43:05
right. So, like, that was a me thing. But like, I also grew up in a way that, like, when I was 16, my grandmother was like, Oh, you're 16. Like, do you want to try a watered down cocktail? Like, right, sure, no problem. You don't mean it wasn't like this. Like, no, you can't like, This is

Unknown Speaker 43:21
bad. No.

Scott Benner 43:22
I mean, from my perspective, I fully agree with you. I think when you pen kids up, not just kids anybody, when you pen somebody up too much and then release them, they are going to naturally wonder what it is they hadn't been seeing. And I, I'm with you on that, so okay, I hear you. I like

Unknown Speaker 43:38
it, yeah, yeah. I

Andrea Lafleche 43:39
think again, it's the nature of college, like you're going to try things. It to me, the more important part is, do you have the support, whether that's at school or at home or both, to learn from the experiences you decide to partake in, and have the resources to determine if it's a positive thing for you or a negative thing?

Scott Benner 43:59
Yeah, right. Because

Andrea Lafleche 44:00
anything, well, I would say there's probably no positive in cocaine use. I don't know, but doesn't seem I like

Scott Benner 44:06
that. You're not willing to say for sure. That's excellent. You're like, Listen, I don't know.

Andrea Lafleche 44:10
I don't know, not something I've partaken in, and I don't know how many studies there's been, so Right? There's all of these things about marijuana usage and alcohol and with anything chocolate, right? With anything, there's a spectrum of how you're using it, why you're using it, and how does it impact you? Is it impacting you negatively, or are you having a positive experience from it? And you're able to live your life like, who am I to judge what things, yeah, do to what people and how you use it, right? Like, there's a reason marijuana is being able to be legal across the country. There are positive things associated with using it in certain ways. Okay,

Scott Benner 44:50
I'm not into telling people what to do. I just assume that if you're an adult who drinks, you assume your kid's gonna go off to school and drink, and if you're from a household where nobody drinks. You think, oh, my kids aren't gonna drink because we don't drink. I just think it's nice for people to know, like, it's possible could be a coin flip. Yeah, you know. And at the same time, I sometimes I see people online. They're like, Look, I know my kid's gonna go off to school and drink, and I want to know how to manage that with diabetes. And I'm like, do you really know? Are you just worried they're going to like, I still want you to under like, because can you imagine if your kid had no reason to think about drinking, and you pulled them aside one day in a lovely mother son situation and were like, Here, here's the rules for drinking with diabetes. And the kid was like, I wasn't going to drink. You don't like, I don't know. It's a and at the same time, I see them needing to know, because coin flip is it might happen. So it's kind

Andrea Lafleche 45:37
of the same thing as the accommodations you want them to have the information in case they do make that decision, right? Because the likelihood is they're making that decision in the moment, not like pre planning. Oh, in two weeks, I'm going to go to this party, and I plan on getting smashed, right? So I'm going to do my research now and make a plan now. They're like, No, we went to the football game, and my friend offered me a beer, and I decided, You know what? I kind of want to try it today. Yeah,

Scott Benner 46:02
no. Same idea. Like, right? Like, Andrea looks nervous, and her friend gives her, you know, a joint. And the next thing, you know, I didn't, I wasn't planning on smoking weed today. Like, and here I am. I'm trying it. So I got you, I agree. Okay, I'm sorry. Are we done with this? Are we good? You like this? I like this? Excellent.

Andrea Lafleche 46:18
Yeah, I think maybe we'll save the We Can Do Not right now. But do you want me to plan to do a more deep dive of the low blood sugar thing? I think you're right that. Yeah,

Scott Benner 46:29
I think we should put one, just one together, just about that. Okay, okay, all right. Well, we'll leave people with that for now, so that they can expect that coming in the future.

Speaker 1 46:37
Okay, excellent. You. Sarah's

Scott Benner 46:45
story so genuinely encapsulates the experiences that so many caregivers go through on a daily basis. Our Juicebox community knows the importance of caregiver support so intimately, and Sarah's story is just a great example of what caregivers go through on a daily basis to learn more about the Medtronic champion community and to find helpful resources and tips for caregivers and families. Visit Medtronic diabetes.com/parents-caregivers cozy earth.com. Offer code juice box to check out, save 40% Listen to my words. You want to be comfortable, you want to look nice. You want to project an air of confidence about yourself. You can do this at cozy earth. You can also get yourself some lovely gifts for friends and loved ones without going broke. Touched by type one sponsored this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Check them out at touched by type one.org on Instagram and Facebook. Give them a follow. Go check out what they're doing. They are helping people with type one diabetes in ways you just can't imagine. Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less, a little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would. I think I see something here, but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox Podcast. It begins at Episode 1000 you can also find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 I want to thank you so much for listening and remind you please subscribe and follow to the podcast wherever you're listening right now, if it's YouTube, Apple podcast, Spotify, or any other audio app, go hit follow or subscribe, whichever your app allows for, and set up those downloads so you never miss an episode, especially an apple podcast, go into your settings and choose, download all new episodes. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongway recording.com, you.