When things go wrong, they go wrong.
Scott Benner
Yesterday was a busy day around here. Arden was leaving straight from school to attend a gathering of her friends at one of their homes. I also had a speaking gig at a local Barnes & Noble in the early evening. Remote management of Arden's BG extended past the school day and into the play date as I prepared for the event.
Everything was going great even though the food choices at the get-together were carb heavy, pizza, brownies and the like. Arden's BG was steady at 145 for most of the afternoon, we had seemingly defeated the pizza and the brownie didn't seem to be gaining any ground on the last bolus. Good stuff.
Arden arrived home just a few minutes before we had to leave for the bookstore (Kelly is away for work, so the kids came along), her BG was still holding steady so we jumped into my car and headed out. It was on that short ride that things began to go wrong. First Arden's CGM indicated that her BG was rising slowly so we bolused, it seemed strange because she was now over ninety minutes past the the time that she ate the brownie and there was no spike after she ate it. The pizza by this time had been ingested over four hours prior. I thought it (BG rise) could be the pizza but more likely we were fighting with the combo of pizza and brownies. Still the rise was slow and I had no concern that the bolus wouldn't handle it.
Forty-five minutes into the book talk Arden's CGM was going nuts. Her BG was now rising quickly and the last bolus didn't look like it was going to hold. She tested and we were very aggressive with the next dose, very aggressive. So there we were in a Barnes & Noble, I'm chit chatting with the crowd about Life Is Short, can't leave for an hour and trying to decide if Arden's blood sugar rise is food related or if her pump site suddenly went bad... I didn't know and only time was going to tell. A short while later we boulsed again because subsequent testing indicated that the last bolus only served to stop the rise in her BG and wasn't enough to bring it down. By the time we got home her BG had fallen just enough to create more confusion. Do you know what I mean? I was in that spot where it seemed like everything was going to be alright if I just gave things a little more time.
But you know that wasn't the case.
Arden climbed into bed with me to watch television (Far after her bedtime), she was drinking water, I was setting increased temp basal rates and staring at the DexCom screen - the evening had devolved into a good ole' fashion cluster fuck.
I gave up after one in the morning and changed her pod. I felt comfortable that her BG was in a safe place for me to sleep a little after four thirty in the morning. Good news is, my TiVo is empty now...
Bad news? I never heard my alarm and we didn't wake up until eight in the morning, school begins at five after. I woke the children and told them to get ready, "Don't rush, I just want you to arrive in time for second period". Cole jumped into the shower, Arden went to her room to get dressed - CGMnow was 80.
I brushed my teeth, got Cole to the first floor and called for Arden, she didn't answer, I called again... nothing. When I tried the knob on her bedroom door and it was locked, I knocked, no answer. So I raised my voice, "Arden!, Arden, open the door".
"I can't, I'm on my bed and I can't get up - I'm low".
When I unlocked the door to Arden's room she was sitting on her bed, her face lacked muscle tone and she looked pale. I immediately handed her a juice and asked why she didn't call me or drink a juice. She responded, "I can't move, I have a bad headache and I'm dizzy". We treated, tested and she ate a piece of toast. When her BG finally came to a balance I asked her to get ready for school but she said that she felt like she didn't sleep at all last night, she thought she was getting sick. I explained that I've heard from many PWD that they experience a hangover like sensation after a significant overnight low and that it comes with a feeling that you didn't sleep. Then she said something that dropped my heart into my stomach.
"That never happens to me..."
I had to explain that each day with diabetes wasn't going to be the same and that different issues are going to arise as she gets older. I think she was sad to hear that, but too out of it to care. It's almost noon and Arden is still sleeping in her bed. Her BG is all good now but I'm a little worse for wear. I'm sharing this today because I promised to try and be even more open during Diabetes Awareness Month. But also because I was reminded recently that my blog reaches a lot of parents and I never want any of you to think that the shitty stuff that sometimes happens to you... isn't happening to us. It is, it's happening to all of us.
You are not alone and I hope knowing that helps in some small way.