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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 996 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I'll be speaking with chalice. She's had type one diabetes for three decades. She also has psoriatic arthritis and a very interesting life story. If you're a member of the private Facebook group, you may know chalice as the person who made the Christmas tree ornaments out of clothespins last year that are replicas of me. It's like my close pin action figure. Little way I have mine hanging here. It's one of the only tchotchkes I have on my desk. If you don't know the word tchotchke. I can't help you. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. You can start using ag one today at my link drink ag one.com forward slash juice box when you do you'll get five free travel packs, and a year supply of vitamin D with your first order. You can order sheets and clothing and towels and all kinds of comfy stuff at cozy earth.com use the offer code juicebox at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juicebox that's a place where you can buy a meter right now. Get yourself some test strips or just learn more contour next.com forward slash juice boxes incredibly accurate and easy to use meter. My daughter has been using them for years. The podcast is also sponsored today by us med us med.com forward slash juice box now us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies from and so can you from on the pods the T Slim's decks coms li berets and so much more US med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 To get your free benefits check and get started today with us med.

Chellis 2:23
My name is Chalice. I have had type one diabetes for 30. Over 30 years. I was diagnosed in 1992. I was 13 at the time, and I have grown up since then. I am married. I have two kids, teenagers. We live in New Hampshire. Which I love. It's beautiful. I brag about our state all the time. And yeah.

Scott Benner 2:53
Well, first of all, please tell your parent or your parents with a smile. Yes, thank them for me for giving you a weird name but spelling it the way it sounds. Right. I really appreciate that.

Chellis 3:06
People want to make it so complicated. I actually I love my name. Now I was named after my grandfather. So you can thank him. He is no longer with us. But and yeah, I mean it. People try to make it all sorts of things. And it's really,

Scott Benner 3:22
I recorded with Rasheem yesterday whose parents did not spell her name anything like it sounds. And, and then tell us the next day. I wonder who's tomorrow? Oh, I'm looking tomorrow. So because of because I tried to give myself off the first two weeks of January, which I definitely won't do again. I am recording three times tomorrow. Oh god with Laura Mallory and Howard. Oh, oh, all bellboy. Alright, so that's good. And you were saying earlier? Let me just make sure I got this right. You've grown up since you were 13. I have Oh, wow. Okay,

Chellis 4:04
well, sort of.

Scott Benner 4:09
Any other type one in your family?

Chellis 4:12
None. Other autoimmune. Yes. My mom and myself actually. We have psoriatic arthritis. That sounds fun. Yeah, she she has she's she has it pretty. I mean, I don't know. I hate that. Like it's not bad, but she's had it for you know, her whole adult life and it was pretty severe at times where like she would go in for treatments and stuff and a mind. pretty mild case, I think but I still have it and it's also autoimmune. And there might be some thyroid stuff with my sisters. We'll probably get into this but I have quite a few sisters. We're a little blended family. So but biologically, we're all six of us from the same mom. So Oh,

Scott Benner 5:00
You don't hear that that way. Usually.

Chellis 5:02
I know. Well.

Scott Benner 5:04
Alright, hold on. I just got so excited. I don't know what's wrong with me. Your father the was your father the first father? Yes. Okay, good for you way to get in OG. Thanks. Yeah. Did he bail or die?

Chellis 5:20
No. They divorced. It was mutual. Okay. That's what they say. Yeah. So they divorced when I was four. I have an older sister. She's two years old, two years older than me. So it was the two of us. They divorced when I was four, but they both remarried. By the time I was five. There's a lot here.

Scott Benner 5:44
How old were they when they got married?

Chellis 5:47
Oh, they were young. Too young, too young. I want to say my mom was like, 19 My dad's a few years older than her. Probably he was like, 24

Scott Benner 5:58
I don't I don't listen. Were they pregnant when they got married?

Chellis 6:01
I think so. Yeah. My mom. Verify that. But yeah.

Scott Benner 6:08
And this is 40. How many years ago they get married?

Chellis 6:13

7074. No. 7676.

Scott Benner 6:20
Impressive. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Live in like it's now in 76. Is your mom like a real baller? Was she her like her whole life?

Chellis 6:32
Like, pretty,

Scott Benner 6:33
you know what I mean? Like? Yeah, it was.

Chellis 6:38
Listen, it was they lived in a very small town in New Hampshire. What does that have to do with it? It's just you know, Pete, that's what people did say what

Scott Benner 6:47
you mean, there's nothing to do the New Hampshire except that sex? Is that what you want to say? I don't I can't say that. I'm going to look up the New Hampshire state motto right now. Live for your die live for your die. Oh, it's not we have condoms, but no one uses them.

Chellis 7:02
But live for your die is pretty much the same thing.

Scott Benner 7:05
Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe people are misunderstanding that.

Chellis 7:12
You can interpret it? A lot of ways. Yeah.

Scott Benner 7:15
Well, I see how your mom and dad interpreted it. I think they interpreted it in a Pontiac.

Chellis 7:24
Oh, I love to ask my dad. But he drove.

Scott Benner 7:26
I know what he was driving in that party. I don't think it was the car. So. Okay. So your parents, your parents, like have a baby and they're like, I hate you. And she's like, I hate you too. And they're like, gone. And then they went and married their highschool sweethearts. What did they do? No. So

Chellis 7:42
okay, where are they find someone else that fast? Um, well, that those are interesting stories to one I know more, a little bit more about than the other, but my dad was an alcoholic. So that's, you know, that was kind of like, that was serious as a child. No, like, during their, you know, teenage years into their marriage. So, and it was pretty severe. I mean, he had a problem. He, you know, he really, it was pretty traumatizing. Those are, you know, like, my first memories of him coming home. And, and it wasn't good at what it was pretty bad. But I mean, you know, I'm fine talking about it's not. These are, you know, kind of open subjects around here and our fam No,

Scott Benner 8:26
no, you sound like a party. Like already in seven minutes. You've told me way more about your life and you should have.

Chellis 8:34
Well, you know what, though it like does tie into the diabetes, because I think there's a lot of like, coping skills that came from that that then affected how I handled my diabetes.

Scott Benner 8:48
Okay. All right. If you want to be serious, we should go ahead. No, that's fine.

Chellis 8:54
I knew he would unpack it eventually. Anyway, because I've heard you on the podcast, he like z, you know, hone in on it. And like, so I'm just, you know, just getting ahead.

Scott Benner 9:04
I appreciate that. I should teach a class of this. Honestly, I don't know how. I don't know how he would teach it to people. But you have to be really interested in fine details. Yeah. And you have to let your mind here's, listen. Here's a little tip for the young kids. Because your whole generation doesn't want to generalize. But you should because most of the time, you're going to be right.

Chellis 9:26
Don't stereotype but it took

Scott Benner 9:28
me 30 seconds. I was like, Were your parents Young. We're like, yes. How did you already pregnant? Yeah, so Okay, so well, that sucks. So did your dad ever get a hold of that? Or did he live his whole life with it?

Chellis 9:42
No, right away, like as soon as the threat of not, you know, being able to be in our lives because of it. He got together. And so, by the time he remarried, she will really helped him with that and was a huge support. And she, you know, helped him get sober and he hasn't had a drink since I was five years old. So we're coming up on almost 40 years.

Scott Benner 10:11
I know, this is a long way to ask this question. You probably don't know the answer. But do you think that hurt your mom that he didn't pull it together for her?

Chellis 10:18
I'm sure. Yeah. And I think there's there had been so much, you know, kind of damage already that it wasn't going to be fixed, like recoverable. Yeah. So and, you know, she was wanting to have more kids anyway, and my dad didn't, and that was part of it, too. And he was, you know, he was happy with just the two and

Scott Benner 10:40
I was in my early 20s. And my wife was telling me she went down six kids, I might start drinking. You know, maybe we're blaming him and we shouldn't be so. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna pay for that. Was your dad like independently wealthy when he was? No, no. Yeah, I wait a bit upset.

Chellis 10:59
We want what I was like, What

Scott Benner 11:01
is she saying? This was more fun in the car. i Let's go. Yeah.

Chellis 11:08
It was all fun and games.

Scott Benner 11:10
Yeah. Now we're in an apartment. I think we should slow down. Your mom's like, your mom's like, I want to make an army. An army of achy girls. Oh, my goodness. All right. I've been doing this too long psoriatic arthritis is like I'm like, Oh, is that all? sounds horrible, by the way. So what is what is the arthritis like for you? And look at that segue?

Chellis 11:37
Um, it is the arthritis part isn't it's not so much the arthritis that flares up every once in a while. Where, you know, my joints will hurt like in my hands, but I had a like a knee flare up. But it really is the skin. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, the psoriasis the in my scalp, but just like, a erupts? And if you know, I'm on something for it, which is pretty much kept it away. But if I'm not on, you know, some sort of, I forget what they're called. But

Scott Benner 12:09
are you taking injectable for it? Or what do you do? Yeah, yep. Cuz you're just gonna say you're injecting something and you forget what it's called. That's a type one right there. You know, the type of drugs those are, like, I knew you knew the brand name. You just didn't remember the technical term. Whatever you put in front of me, I'll inject it. It doesn't matter.

Chellis 12:32
I take this stuff and aplomb. It's supposed to help when

Scott Benner 12:36
I hear good things about it. What is this stuff called?

Chellis 12:42
cosentyx

Scott Benner 12:43
cosentyx? Who names these things?

Chellis 12:45
I don't know. I don't know.

Scott Benner 12:48
I mean, oh, my and look at the spelling on this. This makes less sense and your name?

Speaker 1 12:54
cosentyx. Alright, so you. How often do you inject it? That's like a once a month. You do it at home? And you have to go to an office? No, I just do it. Yeah. And that keeps the flares down on your scalp. So it's managing the psoriasis for you. And what about the joint pain? Same?

Chellis 13:13
I haven't had any issues with that. No kidding. What

Scott Benner 13:16
are the reasons I wouldn't want to take cosentyx Did they tell you?

Chellis 13:20
I think it's like, you know, you shouldn't take it if you're already sick. Like that kind of stuff. It's like an immune suppressant.

Scott Benner 13:27
It says it's safe and effective for at least five years. How long have you been on it?

Chellis 13:31
Only one was on embroil before and that stopped working well. So

Scott Benner 13:38
Gotcha. That sucks. I'm sorry. Yeah, no,

Chellis 13:41
I mean, it's just like, Okay, I got the autoimmune jackpot in the family.

Scott Benner 13:46
What did you hate? Was that happened to you when you were younger?

Chellis 13:49
No, that's that's been a fairly, like in the last. I don't know, six or seven years.

Scott Benner 13:55
You had kids or not? Or laughter? Yeah. That's a raw deal. By the way, making a baby seriously uses up something. Let's be

Chellis 14:05
No. changes your whole body? Yes. It's

Scott Benner 14:09
not right. It's absolutely not right. It means listen, if there's a grand design, and I think this point of view proves that there isn't if there was, why would it use up the mom? Right? And why like why? Why would the sexy part go away for the ladies when you know, that's the only thing keeping the guy working? I mean, I'm not kidding. I think it's I think it's a poor design at best.

Chellis 14:39
Share this with somebody

Scott Benner 14:43
you want me to share with somebody? No,

Chellis 14:44
I mean, like, you know, spread this spread the wealth here a little bit like shouldn't just be one, you know, let's have the guy take some of this burden.

Scott Benner 14:53
Yeah, right. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like babies should be able to come out of boys too. Yeah, well, that would be more fair. I'll tell you that much. I mean, I like when my wife says it, like I just gas lighter. And I'm like, it wasn't that bad, but it looked terrible. It seemed horrible, you know? And I was privately the whole time thinking like, Thank God, I don't have to do this. Thank God, that's not me. Oh, my God, just really, really upsetting and, and then everybody's crying afterwards because they're happy. And I'm like, Are they happy? Are they just like, I can't believe my wives. They'll look we just happen

Chellis 15:29
to be alive. Seriously, they survived.

Speaker 1 15:33
Again, it's unfair. If you put me in charge. I don't know who's in charge. They could put me in charge. If you did, I'd spread it out. Just like you said, Make everybody do it once. You know, that's No, I don't know where I'd put a vagina. But I'm sure it would fit on my thigh or something it would work out if we tried hard enough.

Scott Benner 15:54
Okay, on your head, under your hair, can you see it through your hair,

Chellis 15:59
you can sometimes see it like if it it'll sometimes come like below the hairline. And like, behind my ears like that area of my scalp. And I had it a couple other places like, you know, random spot on my arm or you know, that kind of thing. But pain that's gone. No, just embarrassing, annoying, annoying and embarrassing. Yeah. Just incredibly itchy. And like I you know, so if I, you know, it's like biting your fingernails. It's like, I'm like, pretty, you know, I consider myself an anxious person. And that's what I go to is just like, I'd like, you know, go out, go to my scalp if it was itchy like, and then it would just kind of progress from there. So

Scott Benner 16:45
have you ever tried something for the anxiety? And does that hold the psoriasis back? Or? No,

Chellis 16:51
it was. That's, that's funny. So I do take something for it. And it has it is a combination of the scalp getting better. And the anxiety medication I think is just like, made that so that it's not a thing. I think to go after, you know, so

Scott Benner 17:09
I was gonna guess anxiety later. Because I don't want to tell you why. Because I don't want to make you self conscious. You may tell you later. You're like, Oh my God. What have I done? I don't know. What

Chellis 17:22
did I say?

Scott Benner 17:23
It's not what you said. It's your speech pattern. Oh, you like you? Through words? It's almost like your brain won't let you get the word out. Oh, interesting. Yeah, like like it's almost like your brains like they're probably a better idea here. Or I shouldn't be saying this. Although you have no filter about the other stuff. Fascinating and I'm trying to match your energy but I gotta be honest with you. It's kicking my ass. I'm gonna have to slow down a little. Oh, really? Yeah, you have great my slow No, no, you have like you have like, I'm just gonna say I think I understand how your dad got your mom pregnant. Are you in your mama like? I'm going to tell you about one of the better decisions I made. 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Chellis 22:59
Dare you? Oh, I love you.

Scott Benner 23:05
Does she is she a little anxious? Does it come across like overbearing?

Chellis 23:11
Yes. I love you Mom, I love you. I love you. At times, yes. Like asking us a year in advance like what our Thanksgiving plans are.

Scott Benner 23:25
My wife has asked me every day for two weeks that make a hotel reservation for three months. I was like Are you afraid? Oh, it's all won't be there. And it's not funny, like Well, that's not true. We are laughing pretty hard. It's funny, but it's not funny. Like personally when you stop and think about like I tried to think about what that must feel like yes to in January start thinking like what like we have to plan for thanks. Like Thanksgiving. Like what Kelly asked me something the other night, I was like, I could be dead by then let us not think about that right now. October. Like, she's like, What are you doing in October? It's January when October. They don't know. She's like, Well, I'm gonna go to this thing. And I'm like, is that like nine months from now? Right? She's like, Yeah, and I'm like, have you looked at me? I'm unhealthy. I don't feel like it's a good idea to plan that far out ahead. You know, like, what if?

Chellis 24:23
And I totally understand. I mean, it's, you know, now it's like, we're all you know, all our kids are adults. We're all like, have families and she wants us all, you know, she wants to see everybody and like, you know, but even when I was a kid and so we would go back and forth between my dad's in her house and like switch off, you know, holidays but like, something might come up where oh, this person is going to be at dad's house. I want to be there for Christmas and like, you know, so I think that was always like, that was always the thing with her.

Scott Benner 24:51
I understand. And it Listen, it's gotta be a lot of stress. She made how many kids you have six. All right, was that we just had almost had with just two guys.

Chellis 25:01
Yes. Yes. And so they're both still married to the same people that they remarried

Scott Benner 25:09
your parents get along? Um, yeah, I imagine they do.

Chellis 25:15
Yeah. I I'm, I've been very fortunate as far as that goes, they, you know, they, they knew the reasons why it didn't work, but we're still able to, you know, make it work for us.

Scott Benner 25:28
Are you here to say that the secret to a happy marriage is a quick divorce.

Chellis 25:33
And just boulard is sad. And then

Scott Benner 25:35
be like, I never really had any time to really hate them. It's great. I still remember the stuff I liked about them. That's nice. Yeah, what a message of hope. Nice job.

Chellis 25:45
But it's fun. It's funny, because, you know, we're, even though it's like my mom will. Or my, my stepsister will comment on you know, things that like my sister, my other my sister on my other side, it's so confusing. Sorry. Like, my half sister, my younger sister, like they know each other, they, you know, bend to family functions and like, so it's kind of, you know, both sides are very, like, just, you know,

Scott Benner 26:11
if I was the child of the second dad, when I met your father, I'd think Oh, my God, I was almost like that. I seriously would. I'd think like, if they just stuck together, I wouldn't be me. I'd be some version of whatever my sisters are. I would be fascinated by that.

Chellis 26:29
Oh, it is fascinating. Like, because they could not be more different personality wise, my dad and my stepdad. And so I'm always like,

Scott Benner 26:38
what? Yeah, oh, your mom went to Jesus. And teetotal, I would imagine when she flipped the switch, right? Or something like that.

Chellis 26:45
Not quite, but just very, like straight arrow. Oh, like,

Scott Benner 26:50
Oh, I'm sorry. You're in New Hampshire. Not Jesus. Like, you know. Yeah. Something that far. Yeah. Something woodsy or something? Okay, so, would you say that? I guess you had the psoriatic came after the type one, the type one was 13. So tell me about Do you remember your diagnosis at all?

Chellis 27:12
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was. So I, I will also say that 13 I always contend this. So I, I sometimes write a blog too, about, you know, my diabetes and sat on the blog a few times. I think like, that's probably the worst age I can think of to get diagnosed with this as also a young female, like not wanting to be different or anything like that. But up to that point, I had some sort of like respiratory virus, like a couple months prior to my diagnosis. I remember going out to a restaurant with one of my friends because we had gone down to something at her sister's college and I was drinking these free refills it kudos like nobody's business. And it was like regular soda. Like in hindsight, oh, my god, I just, I couldn't get it. I couldn't drink enough. The last kind of major thing I remember I was out with my dad and my sister. And we were, we had gotten something at McDonald's or Burger King or something, we get in drinks. And they went in the store. I said, I want to stay in the car. I don't feel really, really that great. I had sucked down my drink. And I was drinking like half of my sister's drink by the time she got back in the car. And she was like, so mad at me like he drank my drink. But I'm like, I was like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm so thirsty. And then the following week, I just was like, I was literally bumping into walls. I was my vision was blurry. I was waking up in the middle of the night with Charley horses, because I was probably dehydrated at that point. So they brought me in to the doctor to our regular doctor. And he said, I'm going to do a bunch of tests, I'm going to test for mono. And then I looked at the sheet on the way home in the car, and it said, like glucose or whatever. And we didn't get results. He was gonna have to call us with them. And then I remember the phone call, because we had to like, he's like, you gotta get into Boston right now.

Scott Benner 29:08
Because New Hampshire doesn't have a hospital.

Chellis 29:11
Well, so at the time I was living. I lived with my dad, actually, after my parents got divorced. Like, a couple years after that, I told my mom, I wanted to move down to my dad's house. And so I lived down there with them with my stepmother and my dad. And so he was my, you know, primary, like parents. So they were the ones that like, kind of all through this whole, you know, diagnosis and then subsequent years. It was them. So, I mean, my dad was always a crazy driver, but he just remember like, Oh my God, he's going really fast. Like he just drove so fast into the city to get me to the hospital.

Scott Benner 29:51
When I was taking Kelly to the hospital to have our first kid to have cold. She's like, you can slow down a little bit. What she's like they're like speed bumps on The throat you're not even acting like they're here, like, well, you're gonna have a baby. She's like, I'm gonna have it in the car. If you hit a speed bump like that again, I was like, okay, so but I was nervous myself. I understand. I'm sorry. You're, I'm jumping around. But yeah, I don't care. Why did you move with your dad?

Chellis 30:17
I always always always felt close to my dad. I was like always riding by his side and never wanted to leave his side when I go down there that we had like an every other weekend kind of arrangement up to that point. Sunday morning, I would wake up and start crying, because I just didn't want to leave. And I my mom at that point had had my next youngest sister was pregnant with the next sister. It kind of felt like okay, like, she's moving on, you know, in. I felt a little lost in the shuffle. I remember actually like thinking that when I was that old, and I'd go down to my dad's and I have two stepbrothers and a stepsister from my stepmother. And I mean, it was like, I was like, the center of attention down there, you know, like little sister, and they were much older than me. And it just felt so much more

Scott Benner 31:17
about you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

Chellis 31:21
yeah. And I remember, you know, saying to my mom, I want to live with that. And I mean, from like, as a mom now, I don't really like we've talked about it here and there. But like, I don't know how she heard that. And also turned around and said, you know, after discussing it with my dad, of course, said yes. You know,

Scott Benner 31:42
so she handled it well. In my election. Yeah. She held it in. She didn't be like, you.

Chellis 31:52
You ungrateful

Scott Benner 31:54
you're old. Get out. Start walking. It's that direction. Like, no, I mean, were she was she crushed or in? Doesn't that bring up questions for you? Like, why isn't she upset that you want to leave?

Chellis 32:06
No, I mean, I think if I knew was hard, hard decision. I knew it wasn't going to be like something easy. Yeah. Even then, you know. And I talked to my sister about this, you know, a lot, because she stayed. And, you know, even if she wanted to come with me, she felt like she needed to stay.

Scott Benner 32:30
Yeah. The the initial ask, puts everyone in a position. Yeah. Right. You're now leaving them. And now your sister has to take sides. And if she if she leaves, too, she's taking your side? Not your mom's like not real. I mean,

Chellis 32:44
no, no, no, like, legions or whatever you want to call it? You know, and you feel

Scott Benner 32:48
like your mom's moving on from her previous life. And you're part of that life. Right. So did it feel like she was moving away from you?

Chellis 32:56
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it felt like, like, I don't know. We were like, This is not true. And I know this, but like that. Oh, that was a mess up like, Oh, that was like a miss. Now, but like, she didn't she wanted this new. You know? Yeah, this this life.

Scott Benner 33:15
I did this thing. It didn't work out. Now. I'm gonna go do this thing. Which is way better for me. Yeah, and you're a part of the thing that didn't work out. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, like a do over. The over? Yeah, yeah, you're the you're the thing I throw away. After I like I start my drawing. And that's not right. Hold on a second. It can at least I think I just call it off something I need. But, um, but yeah, and not that that's really what was happening. But

Chellis 33:50
no, kid. Yeah, yeah. And I just really it was my closest with my dad. I mean, I like I remember one time I was down there with him and that we were going to the dump and I'm like, I'm going with you and and to the point where like, he tried to like get out of the truck to like put the put the trash in the you know, big dumpster thing. And I was like, running after him. You almost shut the door on me because he was like, I didn't want to leave his side of the dog.

Scott Benner 34:21
Yeah. Hey, explain that for the rest of us who have our garbage picked up at our house?

Chellis 34:28
The transfer station?

Scott Benner 34:29
You have to take your trash somewhere. Yes, there's no we did not. Not anymore. But there's no state taxes that if that happens, right? Because what am I paying for? Exactly if

Chellis 34:38
Oh, there's still state taxes in Massachusetts, or you're

Scott Benner 34:41
supposed to live die or, or live free or something?

Chellis 34:47
different worlds. You wouldn't even believe it.

Scott Benner 34:50
If someone said to me, I have to take my garbage somewhere. I go. No, I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I I'm not I'm not I'm just not like someone better come take it goes into your car. In the truck. Yeah, well, what if you don't have a truck? What if 1984 What if I'm driving a Datsun? What do I do with it then? Trunk? But that's where my stuff is? No. Oh my god. That's horrifying. That's the worst thing you've said so far since we first. I mean your mom bailing on you emotionally and your dad drinking his way out to a new wife and your head on fire with itching and scabs, and I'm like you had to do what was your garbage? Unbelievable. Oh, my goodness, I'm not making up my disdain for what you've said, by the way. And I by the way, I crumpled up an invoice from a Sensia the people who make the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, I might lead them to suddenly. Oops. Just trying to make a point. Let me just say contour next. one.com forward slash juicebox. Thank you. Anyway, did you know what a Sensia makes the Contour? Next One? I bet you didn't.

Chellis 36:09
I did. Because it wasn't a podcast. Oh,

Scott Benner 36:11
thank you. And did you hear that a Sensia those ads aren't too expensive. Now, by the way, they never said sorry. I'm so afraid someone's gonna actually listen to this thing one time. get me in trouble. I want to bitch about somebody else's podcast so bad, but I just hold it in. Because I'll sound like a horror if I say what I want to say. Nevertheless, please stop ripping me off. Okay, now we're just gonna keep moving on now. So you're with your dad, and you're diagnosed he flies from the dump to the hospital. Does the hospital have to take their garbage to the dump? Boston? No, not in Boston. Okay. By the way, city way to go earlier for the New Hampshire travel Council the way you painted a picture of the fine cuisine at the pizzeria who know that was really something. Sure that's gonna be bringing all the people to the study refills. Sorry, so little left of my COVID cough there. I apologize. Okay, so is he expecting this? Is anyone expecting this?

Chellis 37:23
Oh, no, like shock shock. And now

Scott Benner 37:27
you have a mom trying to help you with it as far as your dad? Yes.

Chellis 37:31
And I mean, they, it was 1992. So, oh, my god, like the, you know, information was spotty at best. As far as, like, take this do this, it was a lot of like feeding the insulin, I was, you know, clear to cloudy like those, you know, mixing the insulins, and, uh, but a total shock. And also it was stressful, because I can't remember if this was before or after, but it must have been close to the diagnosis, but my dad got laid off that year. And so I don't know what the insurance situation was between my dad and my mom and who, you know, whose insurance I was covered under. But I remember overhearing a conversation about Cobra and having to pay out of pocket for stuff. And so I was so worried, like, Oh, my God, like, now I'm causing more stress, because my dad doesn't have a job. And I just got diagnosed with this thing that's expensive. So I definitely had an awareness of that. I also, I think, this goes back to me moving down there, but I think I was like, I always wanted to, like, you know, be the daughter that didn't cause a problem or like, you know, you know, I make the make this decision, like, make people happy that they made this decision, you know, like, not regret it. Like, oh, you know, like, so a lot of that was in the, you know, doing good in school and that kind of stuff. And like, perfectionist like stuff came in with that. And so with the diabetes that you know, kind of all just, you know, came.

Scott Benner 39:19
Charles, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Are you the person that made the Christmas ornament with me? Yes. Oh, my God. I just figured that out. Now.

Chellis 39:26
I almost said something at the beginning. I'm like, I'm the ornament lady.

Scott Benner 39:30
Oh my god. So let's walk through that before we talk about your type one because we're gonna talk about fatigue and burnout. I know people are like, can you get to a topic? Just calm down? The lady's got a screwed up life. We want to hear about it. Okay. So sorry, your life's fine.

Chellis 39:49
Everybody has a story. You're fine. It's

Scott Benner 39:52
fine. Okay. Sorry, I don't know what's wrong today. It's the end of a long weekend. I think I have to still record three work times. So much I'll be one of them's about Tide Pool, which time someone hears this will be six months ago, but the Tide Pool app was, I think, cleared by the FDA. I forget exactly what the word is. And I want to interview them so that my interview is up before anybody else's. So I hustle around for stuff like that. Anyway, so there's this moment, it's a weirdness for me, you'll understand. In the private Facebook group, a person turns out it's Charles is like, Hey, I made this and it's a closed pin. And felt these are your mediums. Am I right? Yes, yes. Christmas ornament of me in a bowl with insulin t shirt holding like a Dexcom or something.

Chellis 40:45
It's like your phone. Like it's your it's the Dexcom app on like an iPhone.

Scott Benner 40:49
Thank you look at you. You're like, no, that's not what it is. It's a phone. I'll tell you exactly. What are you hard on it? Okay. And it's, first of all, I love that because it makes me look thin. That's the first thing. Because, you know, close pins are straight. Finally, this is the way I was supposed to like could have added some bulk. But no, if you would have either deleted your post. I just want to be clear about that. I would have been like, ladies trying to make me look fat on a closed, I would have just clicked right. So I got I got caught in this situation. Because when you're moderating a Facebook page, you can't let people sell things on it, because it just turns into a swap meet. And I that would ruin what it is. Right? Yeah. So no matter what, and there are times it's tough. There are people like, you know, my house burned down. Oh, right. You know, and I want to put up a thing and I'm like, you can't like this can't turn into a can't turn into this, you know? Yeah. And I don't let anybody sell anything. You put that up. And I was like, yes, she could sell that. That's

Chellis 41:47
That's why I asked you first because I was like, This is so hard. So I do know, I just wanted people to see it at first and then people like I want one.

Scott Benner 41:57
First of all, I guarantee you sold more than you've ever sold in your life. Right? Like are these? Am I wrong?

Chellis 42:03
No. I made like eight and then I had to make more.

Scott Benner 42:07
I have mine is hanging in front of me right now from like a light thing that's behind my monitor. Right now. I'm facing away from me. I don't know why don't be shy Scott Turner. Hola. It's just It's adorable. And and I, you sent me one. Actually, that was funny. Like for a while I was like if you're going to offer to send me one because this is getting strange. I don't want to have to buy it. And so you sent me one was just very nice. And it comes out of the box. It comes out of the box, and I hold it up. And I think it was Arden who said Oh what the fuck is that?

Chellis 42:44
wanted to know what Arden's reaction

Scott Benner 42:46
was my son, then everyone mocked me on mercifully, it went on for a while, my son went down that road of like, this lady is gonna kill you, you know, she's gonna find you, and she's gonna stab you in the face. And then we don't decorate our Christmas tree with ornaments anymore. We used to, we used to be people who are like just every ornament we ever had, like, when when the kids were little like, it looked like it's just a terrible looking tree. And one day, a few years ago, Arden was like, Can we like make the tree look nice? And that was hurtful, you know? And my wife's like, what do you want to do? And she went out and bought this fat, Red Garland. And I think two different color balls and she's like, just wrap it with the garland and then hang the balls in the thing. And, and that was it. That's all that happens. Now we're not allowed to do anything else, because that's what the tree suppose looks like now. But I still hung mine on the tree. Nice. Oh, I was the only ornament. I also took a lot of crap for that, too. So these things have

Chellis 43:48
taken on a life of their own. The whole ornament, like the whole Etsy, like, I mean, my whole whatever. It's blown up. And I love it. I I'm so I'm a creative person. But there's something about, like, I'll do a couple craft shows a year, which is like, I mean, whatever. But it's more like me seeing people's reactions to what I made. I'm always like, we just like sit there and laugh at them. And like that, to me is like worth whatever time it takes me to make it or whatever. You know,

Scott Benner 44:22
first of all, being serious. I was touched. Because I was standing around. There were people in our home. It was Christmas. My mom's there. Excuse me, not my mom, my brother's there and my sister in law's there. We'd already jettison my mom to Wisconsin. And and we have people over. And my brother goes, what is that? And I said, Oh, it's an ornament. Someone who listens to the show set me and his wife goes, why? And I said a person who listens to the podcast, sent this to me and she's like, give me that and she's looking at it. I think it was the first time that they Like, when people listen to that podcast

Chellis 45:04
and and do something, they're looking

Scott Benner 45:06
at me different. My brother's like, go over this with me. And I'm like, Okay, you think my youngest brother? And so like we're talking about it, and he goes, so it's like, it really reaches people. And I was like, yeah. And he goes through they like you. And I was like, why just this hurt when we're talking about it. But, but no, it was like a nice moment. So the thing the ornament really did for me was it allowed my immediate family to mock me on mercifully so I really appreciate that. But if I had a conversation, like for the first time with my brother, my sister in law about like what I do, oh my god, yeah, so it's nice. It brought us together for a couple minutes. It was very nice.

Chellis 45:45
And I don't know if this is jumping ahead. But it also, like for me, it was like, I wanted you to know how much this podcast meant to me like, so it was like, you know, it reciprocated you know, in a different way. But I was so grateful for the podcast, and being able to find this body of work that just has resonated with me so much.

Scott Benner 46:12
Thank you so much. Yeah, I believe that when you say it, if a couple of months ago, I would have ended up bound and covered and fell. I would have thought and a glue gun. Yeah, this is this is the plot. Drama. But

Chellis 46:28
yeah, I wasn't cakepops I promised I wouldn't send you cake. I didn't

Scott Benner 46:32
know if this was going to be a Dexter thing or a nice thing. It ended up being i There's a part of me that thought I was gonna be in a clean room. You know what I mean? Like, here's how that and that's fine. Well, so anyway, being serious, like it was it was really lovely. And I appreciate it very much. And it's it was it was a pleasure to let you tell other people about them. And but it was weird, because like, I think everybody on the Facebook group understood they were like, he doesn't let people sell anything in here. What are you gonna do about it? Can you imagine if you saw this, and I was like, Lady fuck off. Oh my god. Why is he so mean? I put a smile on the on the clothes. I should have put a little frown. And um, yes, I had no recourse, I guess.

Chellis 47:19
No, it's like, You're damned if you do damned if you don't.

Scott Benner 47:23
I was not damaged at all. It was just like, there would have been no way for me to say no, I felt like a human being I guess I would have

Chellis 47:30
reached out to me though to say like, I just you know, bought it. Like, there's there's other Scott's hanging on other people's trees from here on out? Like, isn't that weird to you like, but in a good way.

Scott Benner 47:43
It's all weird to me the whole thing you have to there's a suspension? Have you ever heard a suspension of disbelief? They taught Yeah, you go to a movie, you gotta like pretend like it's possible to fly through space and shoot like Chewbacca and stuff. And that exists a little bit when you're making the podcast. Yeah, like, you have to suspend the idea that, that it's happening that right now. Like, like right now. Okay, Charles, somebody is gardening and listening to this. But we recorded it six months ago. And, and I'm, I don't have any notes in front of me. I mean, I think it's kind of clear that 30 minutes in I was like, Are you the lady that made the ornament. So, you know, I don't know what we're going to talk about. I had no idea about your parents, or that I'd spent 15 minutes being like, please explain to me the lives of alcoholic 20 year olds who get married when they're pregnant. Like you don't I mean, like, I didn't know any of that was going to happen. And like, yesterday, when I was recording, I was in the middle of doing some stuff with my mom's health. And I had been let down by a couple of doctors. And this person I was recording with started talking about some of the troubles they had with their diabetes stuff. And I just kind of went off for like, 10 minutes. Like, yeah, just pissed at. And I said, I know I said something that I'm going to regret later. And I'm just gonna repeat it here. So I, I said something about, like, I think I think I said, there are days I wonder how I'm successful at what I do. And then there's days I look at everybody else. And I realize oh, it's not that hard to beat them. And, and, and that's a mean, terrible thing to say. But I was in context of watching doctors, just so not take their job seriously in regards to my mom. And I just I'm like, Why can't people just work hard? Like, like, you've got the job to do it. I do this job. I break my ass making this thing. Right, right. Like, just kind of like, if it's not what you want to be doing right now. That's not my fault. It's not my mom's fault. You know, like, it's 2023. And somehow the Internet has turned doctors into people who go look at you and go, What would you like to do? What would I like to do? And why? You don't know me? More than me and Google great. Like, like, and so I got really upset.

Chellis 50:06
You know, what's frustrating to me, though about people not doing their job or doing, doing a good job at their job, is that when they're part of their job is working with people. It's one thing if you're doing like data entry, right? And you're, you know, it's going to affect maybe like some outcome of the company, but not a person necessarily. But when you're directly talking to people, or like, in my profession, I'm a teacher. I mean, I, my whole point is to connect with my students not, you know, enter data or their you know, what their grade is. And that's like, the last thing I worry about, right? Is that when, when that's part of your job, and you can't even do that, well, it's like, what are you doing here?

Scott Benner 50:55
They're dragging my mom to testing that she doesn't need. Yeah. And they're telling us scary things. Like my mom's got an infection. She's right. She's a little spacey now from the infection, and it's clearing up and everyday, you see, you're getting better. And one day, they said, Well, you know, like, she's had cancer. So we just want to do some images to make sure I'm like, or like, that's fine. Do that. Like, let's make sure her cancer is not back. Right. And it's not, by the way, and, and she's coming out of the CT scan. And some technician says, I think she just had a seizure. She's at, she's in the middle of a crisis, and she got a faraway stare on her face for five minutes. And now we spend the next four days dragging around the hospitals to get these different scans. And we're all like, she didn't have a seizure. Like everyone's saying, I'm like, Look at this, this is what's happening to her. Here's what happens when this happens. It completely explains this. You know what I mean? And then I'm like, in a couple of days, if you clear her infection, she's going to be better. And, and they're like, Well, we think she had seizures. I'm like, my mom's had a seizure disorder, her whole life, whatever you see in her brain is from 50 years ago, and explainable. Yeah. And, and so instead of doing the obvious thing, they did the thing that they could build Medicare for, I imagine, and drug her literally Drugger, from hospital to hospital to because they're like, We don't have the machine here. I'm like, oh, that's hilarious. But my 80 year old mom and a bus driver across Wisconsin, that's terrific. And you know, and then of course, as the day is passed, my mom starts getting better, because the infection is clearing up, like we all said, as predicted. Yeah. And then the guy says, Well, what do you want to do? And I thought, I told you what I wanted to do four days ago, and you didn't get it. And now that we've all made a guess, $150,000 off of my mom, like, like, you know, and now now it's up to me. And I was like, are you I'm not even there. It's, you're a doctor. But yeah, do better than this. Yeah, you know. And, anyway, I got very upset while I was recording with somebody else. I apologize. I apologize to all of you. I'm not doing better than you. Because I'm working harder. I was just very mad. And I don't even know if I'm doing better than anyone else. I just mean, I'm successful at this thing I'm doing. Yeah. And I just imagined that part of that is to do with hard work. And you know, in the time when sometimes you don't feel like working hard, and you just do it anyway. Like, for instance, have you did you enjoy the G voc hypo pen episode where I explained the hypo pen? Did you hear that one by any chance? I did not. Well, if you go back and listen to it, you'll remember that while I was doing it, I had 100. And like one degree fever, and I was reading in a pile. You'll never know when you heard it. I sat here and I held myself together. And I did was supposed to do. The least the doctor could do was like, I mean, why don't you check Google? Why am I in charge? You know what I mean? Anyway, so this is unfair to you. I apologize. So. So fatigue and burnout was a big part of what you wrote about, you know, you've had diabetes for 30 years. And you you said you have ways to combat these to combat these things. And I was wondering what you've learned over that time?

Chellis 54:15
Yeah. It's funny, like, I, I have to catch myself because it feels like it's been more of a struggle than not over these 30 years. But I'm wondering if that's not actually true, where the struggle parts seem just more overwhelming than all of the things that I have actually been successful at with my diabetes, because I've done so much. But usually, it's like, around a goal, like, oh, I want to run a half marathon. So I've got to, you know, get my diabetes together in order to do that, you know, kind of idea, but I almost wonder if, like my default or maybe, I don't know, I think the major thing that I've learned it because when I think back on the times that I've been most successful with my diabetes is when I'm connected to myself or with some diabetes community. Like when I was pregnant, I had this online group of moms, oh my god, we were in a forum, it was like, you know, these old before Facebook, you know, these old Delphi forums and we all were doing, you know, trying to do this and have diabetes and get pregnant and have babies and I make connections with some of those women that I still am, you know, in contact with, you know, it's kind of switched over to Facebook, but I wouldn't have been able to get through that without that community. Or when, you know, I ran reach the beach, it was like a Ragnar like relay. And we were in a van with it was a, you know, JDRF team, and the van was full of people with type one. So it was like, you know, we all went and got all the, you know, low snacks together, and like, didn't have to, like, explain, like, you got to pull the van over. Like, it was just, you know, it was so empowering for me to see other people doing this and being successful at it, and or just, you know, doing it to, alongside what I was trying to do, and I think, you know, trying to set those goals for myself is good. But I think that's where the podcast came in, because so last year, I hit my 30th anniversary, diversity, whatever. And it was April 8. And I usually when I hit those, I'm like, All right, awesome, good job, or like, you know, write a blog post. It's like what I've learned over the 25 years, and it's sort of like a, you know, go me good job for some reason. And I don't know if it was just like, build up from COVID stuff, like, just, you know, how I was remote teaching, that was a whole other thing. Like, I was burned out, like in general. And I hit that 30th anniversary, and I didn't have that same like, rah, rah, I was actually like, This is exhausting. I'm just getting tired of this. 30 years is a long time to do anything. Like I started thinking like, people retire when they're, you know, when they've gone 30 years. Like, you know, like, it's, this is a long ass time to do this. And it felt more like defeat than anything else. And I just by rolled, I was just in a hole. I mean, probably. I mean, it was bad. I wasn't taking care of mice. I just was like, I'm not I'm, I just want to be done with this for a while. And I'd felt that before. And I go through periods of you know, kind of spiraling or sabotaging or whatever. And it was really the podcast that that pulled me out of a. And I don't remember, I think it was, so I was on a, like a type one running Facebook group. And somebody had asked, like, what do you guys listen to when you're running? And that was one of the things that like, all these people were like, You gotta listen to the Juicebox Podcast podcast. And I started listening to it. And I just sort of like cherry picked. I was drawn to the after dark episodes, actually. Because that was like, I don't know why it was so like, oh my god, I can't believe that. Like someone's talking about this stuff like, and how the diabetes could factor into it. And it was like, Whoa, I was so blown away that like, this was not a taboo thing, or any of them it didn't matter, and also the mental health stuff that episodes with Erica, and just so good for me. And I think the thing about the podcast is that like before, I'd have to like, Okay, I'm gonna do this, you know, race and find people that are in a similar situation as me and then the race is over. And I'm like, Okay, now what? With the podcast, it's just like, it's this perfect passive way for me to stay connected. Like, I don't even like I see on the Facebook group all the time. People are like, I'm almost there all the episodes and like, they want to, I mean, their kids are newly diagnosed, they want to just like, you know, take all the information that they can and like, binge it and I'm like, no, no, I'll it's all there for me like a waiting, you know, so when I need it, it's just there.

Scott Benner 59:24
Yeah, that's really interesting. Because So, okay, so having a goal is the best thing is the best thing for you.

Chellis 59:33
Yeah, I think the most direct kind of like to pull me out of it. Yeah. Is to be like, Okay, this is what you're gonna do. You have to do X, Y, and Z in order to get there and then I can slowly kind of get back to that.

Scott Benner 59:46
And and is there anything about the 30th like in your realization that things sometimes don't even last this long? That made it feel like you had gotten to the end, except somebody told you to keep going. You don't I mean, like, it almost feels like somebody set up a race for you. And you ran through the tape at the end. And they were like, keep going, it's not over. Yeah. You're like, but my feet hurt, I'm done now. And they were like, No, you're not keep going.

Chellis 1:00:18
Yeah. And it's like this, you know, I've, I've heard other people's stories on the podcast is like, almost like this club of, of us, you know, that are in this range of how how long we've had it. And when we were also diagnosed, and like, you know, learning curve wise, as far as like technology coming in and adapting to that, and, and old habits and old information that's either irrelevant or wrong, and trying to, you know, kind of navigate through all of that and make it so that it does make sense, because that was my frustration for so long as that none of this made sense, you know, the things that the doctors were telling me to do. And then when my blood sugar would be 400. Anyway, I was like, Whoa,

Scott Benner 1:01:03
yeah. Well, there's so many things changing. And the one thing that doesn't change is the day you were diagnosed. And and where you jumped into the story. Yeah, you know, and, and it's very hard to stay flexible. And, you know, I mean, almost elastic, right? Like you, you need to be able to do today, what you need to do to the best of your ability and to the best of what's available. And then you need to be able to stay flexible enough to look up one day and go. Well, everyone's doing that now. Yeah, they're talking about a one sees like two points lower than mine. And I gotta go find out what that is right now. And that's hard, because you still have to take care of yourself in that day. And it's it's not easy, and then it just never ends. Yeah. And I think about that for Arden, too. There are days when she's just like, doing our homework aid happened yesterday. She's I'm like texting, I'm like, I need you to calibrate your Dexcom. And she just didn't answer me. And you know, later, I was like, Hey, I don't love your your pump site. I don't think it's doing what we want it to do. Or the Dexcom is not calibrated. Right, we need to figure out which one did not answer me. And then I talked to her later in the day, and she was just head down doing our homework all afternoon. She just wanted to I think she just didn't have enough time to think about everything she had to think about. Yeah, yeah. And she gave away the diabetes for a couple of hours to do it. Yep. And if I brought it up, she was like, I'm not You can't get me to think about this right now.

Chellis 1:02:37
And that's where it has to be like, uh, you know, just for that, you know, that timeframe. Like, okay, I did that. And now I have to get back to it. Whereas with me, sometimes that would then snowball into like, Nope, that's, it's still more important. It's still, you know, these 10 Other things are still more important. And then I'd go to, you know, I go down a rabbit hole, where I, I'm the variable, like, I had this realization, listening to the podcast, you know, I used to just put all the, put all of it on the diabetes, like the diabetes is, you know, doesn't do the same thing every day, you know, it's this, it's that it's unpredictable. And it's really me, I'm the variable, you know, I'm the one who gets in my own way that, you know, will create difficult, I just make it harder, and I don't, I'm not really entirely sure why I do that. Whether it like validates the struggle for me or something, I don't know, I don't really know. But where the diabetes is, what it is, it's the information and what you do with it, and that's the variable part and all the other, you know, stuff external things that obviously come into it and exercise and you know, all the those things, but it's, it's not the diabetes, it's, it's me, or it's the person with it, you know, as far as what they're bringing into each of those days, and whether they're able to, you know, kind of say, like, I need to do this homework right now. Or I need to grade these papers right now, then I'm going to check my blood sugar. I mean,

Scott Benner 1:04:17
well, I mean, this is not different, by the way for other parts of life. People ignore it, right? But right, so we're task oriented animals, and we need things to do. And when you stop having things to do, or things become so commonplace, that it doesn't feel like you're completing a task. You become like rudderless. Almost Yeah, and it and you can spiral. It's, you know, as crazy as it sounds. The reason a lot of the social media is so popular, right? And I don't know if you've like watched some of the documentaries, but scrolling and liking. It actually makes Do you feel like you've accomplished something? Yeah, no kidding. It hits that center of your brain that says I did a thing. I opened up my app. And I completed it. I went through my feed. I, I judge things checked on people checked on people. I made sure the world still okay, whatever crazy thing your brain tells you about that? Yeah. And but anyways, like scroll, scroll, tap, tap, scroll, scroll, tap, tap. That makes you feel like you did something. Yeah. And it gives you the same feeling as if you would have went out worked a full day made a bunch of money and took care of your family.

Chellis 1:05:32
Yes, yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's funny, because So currently, I'm sitting here. Not at work, because I and I did post about this, but I broke my leg on Christmas Eve.

Scott Benner 1:05:45
I'll just do that, for course go into the dump. I'm just kidding. No.

Chellis 1:05:50
I wish that would be a better story. I just fell off a step stool

Scott Benner 1:05:55
over sorry. So sorry. step stool, you can

Chellis 1:06:00
oh my god, right. It's like two steps. It's embarrassing.

Scott Benner 1:06:02
I'm not gonna lie. Did you lie to the doctor, I would have said something like that, well, I would just put it in my, by the way, if you don't know my wife, and I definitely would have pointed to my wife and been like, she hit me and I fell. Oh, my wife cut herself on a mandolin once the doctor said what happened? And she said defense.

Chellis 1:06:30
I wish I wish it was a better story. But it's forced me to literally have to sit here. And I am not a sedentary person. And I you know, I'm very active even you know, I mean, I teach but then I'm like walking, you know, when I get home or I'm running or I'm, you know, my husband and I walk on the trails around our house every weekend. And you know, so I'm literally having to sit here and not have anything to do but stare at my like, so my blood sugar's have been amazing. This is I like micro adjusting all day.

Scott Benner 1:07:08
Turn into your own algorithm. Yeah, no, no, no. Like, this is the early part of the podcast when the guy was like, you could just set a Temp Basal and do that.

Chellis 1:07:18
But it's, it's really been eye opening for me, like forcing me to not have any of those things to have to do. I can't drive my kids to where they need to go. I can't be the taxi. I you know, I'm literally just sitting here.

Scott Benner 1:07:36
How long do you have to be like that? So I needed surgery.

Chellis 1:07:39
I broke it in three places. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. It

Scott Benner 1:07:43
was the step stool next to a hill like what do you

Chellis 1:07:46
it was my tile floor I think had something to do with it. But this is so gross. So when I fell, I was like saying goodbye to my daughter. She was going down the stairs and we're gonna go get Starbucks and come home. And so I said goodbye. And then I went to go. Like, just, I felt like I flew in the air or something. But the way I landed when I rolled over to look, my foot was going

Scott Benner 1:08:09
the wrong way. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And I

Chellis 1:08:12
looked at it for like a split second I and she turned around she saw it. I mean, so because at first I was like, did I imagine that? And she was like, No, your foot was sideways. So I in my mind, like willed it somehow to like, move back. Because I said that's not right. It needs to go back. And when I did that, I just heard crunching. Oh my god. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 1:08:37
we come out. Dad's alcoholism. I didn't realize oh my god. Oh, I

Chellis 1:08:42
knew I needed surgery. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:45
Yes. Thank How bad was that? Did your brain like block the pain? Or were you

Chellis 1:08:49
Oh, I thought I was gonna pass out. i Oh my God, it was just like searing. Like nothing I'd ever experienced,

Scott Benner 1:08:58
sliced my whole hand open one time. And like, I'm looking at those scars. Still, it goes from halfway down my thumb all the way into the base of my palm. And it was deep. And I did it at work. And I was working with a childhood friend's brother. And while I waited for the ambulance, I remember saying to him, Jim, I need to put my head on your chest. Oh my god, don't let me pass out in front of these people. And he's like, Hey, you'll be okay. And I was like, I don't think I'm gonna be okay. It hurt so bad. Yeah, yeah, I feel free. That's terrible. Did you ruin the Starbucks run? Am I correct? Oh, yeah, that was that was a question how you got a bunch of um, caffeinated teenagers, right? Yeah.

Chellis 1:09:41
My dad was here. Oh, God, I scared him so bad.

Scott Benner 1:09:45
Oh my god. Oh, and so surgery pins like

Chellis 1:09:49
three screws, three screws and a plate.

Scott Benner 1:09:52
Did they say that that was uncommon. What happened to

Chellis 1:09:57
so from what I understand by law Lateral breaks are pretty common when you fall like that but tri lateral what I did is not so I'm not sure I think it had to do with me like you know the dislocation when I put it back Yeah, I broke more than was already

Scott Benner 1:10:16
enough so are you got to be able to go back to running ever Are you gonna need to figure something else to keep you from plunging down the rabbit hole of despair so ironic

Chellis 1:10:25
for Christmas this year my husband got me a peloton off marketplace I was so excited. Like so excited. I already done it a few times I dumped that morning even so I think I'm going to be doing a lot of peloton which is fine with me. I think I was really like I was kind of getting fatigued with the running to burnt out you know, whatever. So I did ask though, because eventually I do want to do what I kind of set out to do originally which was eventually run Boston, which is like huge, right? And I do I think still eventually want to do that. I mean, she the doctor was like you know you you'd certainly can it's just you know listening to your body and how willing you are to you know risk reinjury doing that and I'm gonna be totally freaked out about that

Scott Benner 1:11:16
you have to get strong and yeah, a lot of other things. You should make a Christmas ornament for yourself with a like a crooked leg

Chellis 1:11:24
dislocated

Scott Benner 1:11:26
I don't know why you didn't do that that's really no no pun intended on the missed that but it was a misstep Have you not to do that while you're sitting around? Like you on the floor with the stool like off to the side and your leg is going in six directions would have been genius. I'm sorry, out there to counsel you. Oh my god, bro.

Chellis 1:11:48
I'm always taking ideas.

Scott Benner 1:11:49
Oh, and then then make your dad like staring and hard and all your kids and like make like a manger scene.

Chellis 1:11:57
Christmas and just like it's like a relief like whatever.

Scott Benner 1:12:01
You just hang it up every year. Like Like, seriously, you're like, I I'm onto something Christmas Eve 2022 As a matter of fact, you should allow people to commission you to make up moments of their life and clothes. They can hang on they're curious. I think we can expand your business is a good idea. Sure. Yes. The tide of the dog farted and everybody blamed mom and there's like little ornaments depicting it and people get tell stories around the truth. Oh my god. Anyway, I didn't even know they made a wooden clothespins anymore until you sent me that I was like,

Chellis 1:12:37
no, no, it's and it's also the ones that I'm using. They're this they're discontinued so I imagine will happen after that. Yeah, I need to find another buy dryer

Scott Benner 1:12:46
sensors humidity and runs until it's done.

Chellis 1:12:52
No need for these anymore.

Scott Benner 1:12:54
My neighbor still hangs her sheets. Oh, ice.

Chellis 1:12:57
I love the smell of that. We have a clothesline at our cottage and I just I love drawing.

Scott Benner 1:13:02
Because she's cheap. I think I hope she doesn't listen to this. I think she's cute. Imagine if she listens. I think her husband I take the whole thing back. I meant on the other side. Don't worry. It's not you.

Chellis 1:13:12
You the other lady that no one knows.

Scott Benner 1:13:16
Except for the lady with the chocolate balls. And this lady is fine. No one knows who it is. You're fine. Can you imagine? If someone knocks on my door one day and was like I hang loose sheets up because I like the way they feel the air dry. You slip up. Not cheap. larious I was listening to a really big podcast the other day. Like, let me be clear. This podcast downloads in the 96th percentile. All podcasts. Okay, there are only 4% of podcasts that do better than mine. But 2% of them make me look like I have a hobby. Okay. And so on one of those. I heard a host talking about like their kids friend, and it wasn't pleasant. And I'm like, Oh, aren't they gonna know that them? I was stunned. Like it stopped me in my tracks. I'm like that that lady you're talking about? She knows she knows it's her. You're calling her crazy. I'm not saying she's not crazy. But I'm saying she now knows that you everyone and like mentally none of us know who she is. It's just her. And probably five or six other people live in the neighborhood. But the point. The point is, I was really thrown by that. It was one of those moments where you wanted to look up and go, do you mean to say that right now? Like earlier when I said I'm cessful because I work harder than other people. Like I should definitely take that out.

Speaker 1 1:14:52
And um, but it was like one of those moments where I was like, oh my god, like I don't think you're supposed to do that. You know? So anyway, Frequently out, but no, you should do that. You should you should let people give you like life moments. You can get them in clothes pin art. Yeah. But be honest. Once your legs fixed, you're gonna get moving again in no time for that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How did that do? Did it pay? Make a mortgage payment for your anything? Or did the clothespins not come through? Should I have asked for a cut?

Chellis 1:15:22
No, Id I gave half the proceeds I made a donation to where

Scott Benner 1:15:26
to me? Yes. Oh hell I use that money on good stuff. Don't worry. Thank you. Did you? Oh, I do remember that. Look at you. You're like you don't remember that. Why did I give you ever goddamn money? No, I do remember. Sorry. I bought Christmas presents with it. I'm not gonna lie. Oh, good. And move my kids through. I don't think I should say my kids live. I just made them. But my son had to move pretty far away. And we helped him get started and stuff like that. So you know, thank you very much. I appreciate it. Because it was honestly one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done that I had been made fun of for. So my I wish you should make. Here's an idea. Make an ornament of me holding an ornament ornament of me. While my family stands around me pointing laughing and being funny to me in general. That would be so easy to do that. Oh, seriously, that would be it. Like just send me a tiny ornament. I'll put in the hand of this one or whatever. However you doing a bigger one? Maybe I don't know how you handle it. And, and just everyone looking at me. Somewhere between like, What in the hell is happening

Chellis 1:16:35
there? Like open mouth? Like just a little like, Yep, yeah, you're gonna get

Scott Benner 1:16:39
killed. There's one of those faces in there. And then the other one was like, This is embarrassing. And I'm like, No, it's not. It's lovely. Then they're like, No, it's not weird, weird and stop acting like it's nice. But I was I was actually, I'm not gonna lie. At first. I was like, I don't know how to feel about this.

Chellis 1:17:00
I know. Like, I was like, Okay, this is this could go either way.

Scott Benner 1:17:04
Well, I mean, it went both ways. I was sort of like your parents. Part of me went one direction and part of me and the other. I was she get points for that joke. Seriously, is there not a bell that should ring when I'm horrible and funny at the same time? But But no, seriously, it was it was. It was at first it was I don't want to call it off putting it was odd. And then I was like, this really is very nice. Because I put myself in your shoes. Finally I did what Jesus says to do. I thought this is a person who feels such a wonderful like attachment to what I've done that they're trying to say thank you. And and this is the way they're doing it. And that's wonderful. And I hung it right on my Christmas tree. So thank you very much. Thank you. I appreciate it. I seriously do. I know we've I don't even know what this has been like.

Chellis 1:17:54
It's gone all over the place.

Scott Benner 1:17:56
Somehow we actually covered that you're supposed to work hard at things. keeps you focused, and it helps you be healthy. Yeah, but I don't think we came right out and said you should take that from this. You should take from this. That your lovely. New Hampshire needs a better trash system. I yeah, I wanted to yell at a doctor but installed instead just yelled at machine while he was recording with a poor woman did nothing. I wasn't really mad. It was like I was waiting for her to go like I'm not the doctor. Yeah, why are you yelling at me? And then, and then I made myself look bad. I know I did that for sure. But but I seriously think if the takeaway from this episode, isn't that, oh my god, they still make clothes pins. You have to have a goal. Like always, not just like big goals that take years to get to but you should have some daily goals, you should have some weekly goals should have some monthly goals. You should make them attainable. Yeah. Because your brain likes it when you do good things.

Chellis 1:19:00
It's like when you write down on the to do list like something you know, you've already gotten to so you can check it off.

Scott Benner 1:19:06
That's insane. Do you do that? Yes. Oh, tell us I'm sorry. So you're saying to me, Hey, let me be clear. Let me be clear momentum. You're making it you're making it to do list. And you realize that just recently, in the last six hours, you've accomplished one of the things that you would have put on the to do list had it not been done already. So you write it down and then draw a line through it. Yep. I'm gonna guess that's more common than I want to believe. I'll think of something

Chellis 1:19:34
that I did. And like, just added to the list and like, Oh, yep, I did that. Check it off.

Scott Benner 1:19:40
That's pretty dope, if anyone's doing. If anyone's doing that. I think you should stop. But I think it's the same thing as the scrolling. Like, seriously, it's and you did just say it a minute ago. Like it's hard not to make fun of what you just said. But it does give you some momentum. It does. Like I'm not little bit, just a tiny net. Yeah, I got something done. I could probably do this thing next. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I have a list in front of me right now. And I'm looking at it. I'm like, I don't want to do any of that. And I have a big list on my wall, you will know my whiteboard says right now. Make a series about oh, you know what? Alright, that'll be done. By the time this comes out. I don't need those people ripping me off. Make a type two series with Jenny. Oh, nice. Make an auto immune series that defining autoimmune series. We have a list online from the people in the Facebook group. There are way more autoimmune diseases that people have than you would imagine. I'm going to do a real quick like defining series about all of them. I've got to follow up with an insulin manufacturer that might want to buy ads. I need to schedule Jenny, on the podcast, I have decided to put up best of episodes, we're going to do that for a little while to see how it works. I'm thinking of trademarking bold with insulin and Juicebox Podcast, yes, I am thinking of getting the rights to my book so that I can give it away to people digitally. And I know people are like, you don't have the rights to your own book I don't. And cozy Earth is a new advertiser, and I have been sleeping on their sheets, and keeping notes about how they are so that I can talk about them in ADS. And they're lovely, big ticket items I have, and I have to build a big one. So here. I'm thrilled that athletic greens is an advertiser on the podcast, but they want you to bill every month. And it's just like, oh my god, like just can you just give me six months in a row or something

Chellis 1:21:41
like that? I'm getting some inner workings. You know, the business side, this

Scott Benner 1:21:45
is how it goes. I just I'm like, Oh, by the way, can you imagine this is my complaint. Like, I have to send a digital invoice 12 times this year. I really don't want to. But I'm just so busy. Oh, you know what else I did? Last night, I've been talking to young artists about revamping the look of the podcast. And I've talked to a few. And I had a conversation with one last night that I I'm really hopeful about like I've gotten some nice submissions from people. And they haven't quite jived with how I feel yet. But I have a good feeling about this next one. So I'm trying to give a young artist some exposure. And that's pretty much what my whiteboard looks like. And now I can I can erase here it says sounds like cello. That's how I remembered that's how I remembered your name in the beginning. That's pretty much it. And there's a note here from Arden, do you need to stretch go hug my dog? Because she wrote that before she she misses her dog. I'm in charge of hugging the dog because she had to go to college. Nice. Yeah, she abandoned those dogs. That's how they feel. Yeah. Not just like your parents. And so I'm sorry, I don't know. You're so well adjusted. Why is that? Oh, are you or am I wrong? Oh, yeah, you really seem like you are actually.

Chellis 1:23:09
I think I think it's because of all that though, where it was bad. But it resulted in such good things. Like, I have these amazing sisters. I have these amazing, you know, I had my stepbrothers and have all of these, like wonderful relationships that I would never have had had all of that bad stuff not happen. And, you know, they say the daughters with their dads on pedestals, and you know, they shouldn't or whatever. But I mean, my dad changed his entire life around so that he could be in ours, you know? Yeah. And I take those things away from the bad stuff.

Scott Benner 1:23:50
You give any credence to the idea that you've been through so much stuff that everything seems a little easier now?

Chellis 1:23:58
Yes, yeah. And it's all like perspective. And I also this actually brings up one of the things I wanted to make sure I said, but So, the craziest thing happened, my best friend from high school. She lives in Florida. She's lived in Florida since college. And so we we just rarely rarely see each other. But she is just that, you know, person that it doesn't matter how long you know, we go without talking to each other. And her middle daughter, Jane was diagnosed last year with type one diabetes. Oh my god. Crazy, right? Like, oh my God, that's why we were in that we were putting that study hall together in high school, so that I could go through all of these experiences. And I said this to her like, I you know it I started crying because I was like, oh my god, it's now it's wisdom. It's not just like my struggles or you know, the things that you know, have always caused problems you know, for my diabetes it now it's is actual wisdom that can help somebody that I am so close to. And I know that she listens to the podcast. So hello. Oh, wow, that's really wonderful. But oh my god, like, for me, that was one of those moments that was like, That's why to go through,

Scott Benner 1:25:18
it makes you that it makes it feel very valuable for you.

Chellis 1:25:22
It's very validating so that it's not just this thing that has caused, you know, stress or anxiety or whatever.

Scott Benner 1:25:30
I think as much as she jokes about it, I think Arden feels that way a little bit about the podcast, too.

Chellis 1:25:36
Yeah, like, I mean, you know, of course, like this thing that her dad does, right? Like, and teenage daughters with their dads as always, I've got I've got one of those here in this house.

Scott Benner 1:25:48
teenage daughter, or someone's dad.

Chellis 1:25:52
No, yeah. And her dad. But it's so it's, you know, it's always that kind of, like, you know, he takes so this is this kind of assembler. Like, he does all the stats for her basketball team. Right, keeps all the stats and sends them to their coach, you know, so, at first it was kind of like, like, can you like back off a little bit? Now? I think she appreciates it. Because like, other people are like, Hey, I saw my sads you know, because it's from his spreadsheet, you know, so it's actually like, is valuable. But at first she wants to like, you know,

Scott Benner 1:26:23
yeah, no, I understand. I just think dad does. I think it's just I think, you know, kind of getting back to having, you know, a friend's child diagnosed, it makes it feel like not such a arbitrary thing anymore. Because you're helped because you're helping somebody else.

Chellis 1:26:42
Yeah, like, not just how did i What happened? How did this happen? You know, kind of like, if so random, you know, no one, no one in my family, you know, so it felt so it didn't feel arbitrary. It felt you know, or even just the my care felt arbitrary for so long, like, and then oh, okay, now, now I can channel it into

Scott Benner 1:27:01
Yeah, it has a purpose. Yeah, yeah, everyone could do that. By the way, you can do it online, or you can do it. I mean, you can do it. You can come on the podcast, you can find somebody in real life, there's when you help others, it just it sounds hokey. But when you help other people, it's, it helps you probably more than it helps them

Chellis 1:27:21
so well. Yeah. And it's also opened up so many conversations for me with my students leave it, you know, not even just about the diabetes, but just, you know, that obviously helps if I end up having you know, someone with it. I think it's like comforting for their parents to know that, you know, they have a teacher who is you know, knows what's going on, you know, but even just something that you might struggle with, or understanding that, you know, you might not even I mean, how would my students even know, unless they hear like, my pump beeping, and I usually tell them, you know, you hear these random noises coming from my body, it's probably that, but just having, it's, it really has opened up a dialogue with my students where then they'll say, you know, oh, this happened to me, or I'm really struggling with this. And it's, that's been invaluable. And I think my understanding of, you know, people going through things that aren't necessarily like, obvious to people and just, you know, kind of erring on the side of, you know, maybe they are struggling with something that I'm not aware of, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:28:23
it's valuable in parenting, too. If you try, if you don't try so hard to look bulletproof, and you seem like a real person, then your kids can see you like a person, and then they don't feel so bad when something odd happens to them.

Chellis 1:28:36
Yeah. And I mean, I've, that's something that, you know, my kids are, they've just grown up with it and awareness of, you know, mom's blood sugar. And, you know, even with me struggling with it, I think that they maybe not to the you know, understand the full extent of how much it feels like I struggled with it, but I remember just my blood sugar was so high. We were like out trying to Christmas shop or something and I couldn't get it down, I couldn't get it down. And then I was having all these side issues and my daughter was only like three years old at the time, she's sitting in the backseat. And I was just like, parked in the parking lot just like trying to collect myself and she said is diabetes hard sometimes and I just like started crying like has this three rolled? No, you know what to say? Or you know, just like and that you know, okay, like, even if this feels like this is impossible right now I'm even in that it's teaching my kids you know, something you know, you can struggle with it and still get through it and move forward.

Scott Benner 1:29:39
I don't know if I should we call this episode foibles. Or nobody used the word by the way, but just think of it like we're talking. Do you know the word? Yes. Okay, thank you. I'm

Chellis 1:29:49
an English teacher.

Scott Benner 1:29:50
It's a good word. Live Free or break. Free or title long but we'll see what was the kind of break calm?

Chellis 1:30:04
trilateral.

Scott Benner 1:30:08
Down. Maybe it's a trilateral close been there? I'll figure it out. Don't worry. Did you see today's? Oh, it's it's the kuko barrel laugh or something like, oh, I can't even say.

Chellis 1:30:24
Cool. And like, a lot of times, I'll just pick the episode. But hola Jason, for example, just based on the title. So I mean, I have no idea what it's about. But I want you know, don't judge a book. Right, but why it's covered. That's not even true.

Scott Benner 1:30:38
Well, what did you think butthole adjacent was going to be when you pick that? I mean, what's, what does it mean? Vagina balls, right? Yeah, right. That's what you're thinking. So

Chellis 1:30:52
I am like potty humor. Like, my kids are always like, you What is wrong with you?

Scott Benner 1:30:56
No, you're terrific. Are you kidding me? I had such a good time. I don't know. I couldn't even care less what we talked about. It's such a nice time talking to you. The kuko borrow the Cuca Burro laughs Is today's episode. It's 835. Because I was talking to a lovely woman named Anne, I think. And she lives in Brisbane, which I think they say like Brisbane. Yeah. And the entire time we spoke these birds were outside of her house laughing.

Chellis 1:31:24
Oh my god, it's an actual thing. To Cabarrus. It's in the old country like that song.

Scott Benner 1:31:29
Apparently, I just somebody online today was like, Oh, great. Now this ear worms back in my life. About About excuse me, I say bang around on the desk, about about a song which I didn't know the song at all. I just know that there became a moment where I realized if I'm gonna keep talking to this lady, we just have to pretend that Bert is not like cackling outside of her house. And it was really, it was lovely. By the way, I had a great time talking to her. But I've never had a bad time talking to anybody. I don't think I enjoy. I enjoy. And

Chellis 1:32:03
I'll say that too, about listening is that I think like when I start to realize like, Oh, this is a parent with a child, I keep listening because it ends up like, even though that's not my experience as a parent. With a child. I don't even know how to do that. But it's still I still get something out of every episode, because they are just stories, you know, their people's experiences. And usually somewhere in there, there's something that I can relate to. Even if it's not my exact, you know, same experience. Listen,

Scott Benner 1:32:36
I think that these conversations are are terrific. And I don't think they need to be. I mean, I mean, I'll just I'll just say here, like the there are other diabetes podcasts. And within reason, nobody, I shouldn't say it like that. Hold on What I want to say, I don't think they get very many downloads. And that's fine. Like, if it's helping one person, I think it's amazing. And I genuinely mean that. But I don't think they're achieving mass appeal. Because they, and I'm guessing because I actually haven't heard them. I've listened to like, a couple of seconds of each one of them. And I listen to my brain tells me to go like stop, I have a very low tolerance for things that I don't find entertaining. And so anyway, sorry, I did this thing a little while ago where I looked up other diabetes podcasts and realize that there had been so many of them since I started by I had the first one. Like there was one guy, I don't want to his name. His last name was rose, what was his first name? He had a blog talk show for like a year maybe. If anybody remembers blog talk radio. Tony, Tony Rose was his name. Tony had this great show. And he doesn't, you know, he stopped doing it years ago. I did it once while I was selling my book. And then there was another one, like, I don't know if people remember. BlogTalkRadio is like you called someone on the phone. And then it gave you like, it recorded it. And then there was a link later where you could listen back to it. And the audio was terrible. And so I was not the first person these these people did this first and these two different ones that I was aware of. But after I started my podcast, there were a lot of diabetes podcasts. They started popping up about the time I started getting ads. And I think people were just like, oh, there's money to be made here. And then coaching came along and now everybody tries to make a podcast to pump up their coaching business.

Chellis 1:34:36
See, I don't I mean, the thing is, is that I want to feel like I relate to the content. A couple of them I've tried, but it's I just love that you start these conversations and you don't they just go where they go. Yeah, man, it's not rehearsed and it's, you know, not scripted. And

Scott Benner 1:34:54
yeah, that's what I was gonna say if you want to do better actually try being real and see how that goes. Yeah, sounds

Chellis 1:35:00
like you're having a dialogue, you're not just like saying the things that you wanted to say,

Scott Benner 1:35:05
and you're holding all the thoughts you're having, that everyone else is having, like, No, not for nothing. But, you know, like, you call it, you can call it whatever you want. I don't know what modern society calls it, but you start telling the story about your parents. And I'm like, Oh, that's interesting. And it's not usually something people ask people about. Usually, you would say, My parents divorced when I was young, and I'll go, Oh, I'm sorry. And then we'd move on. That's what most people do. And instead, I'm like, how did that happen? You know? Yeah. And then you got honest, because, you know, that's the expectation. And then the whole conversation was that way. And then, you know, even the idea that it didn't go in any order, right? Like, you know, you said something that made me think of something else, we went in that direction, and then I'll get it, I'll get an email for somebody like you have ADHD. I don't have ADHD. I'm just good at having conversations. If you are having conversations, like it's a military march, you might want to try relaxing. So anyway, alright, here's the last thing we're gonna do. And then we're gonna go turning up the volume on my computer. And

Kookaburra, you want to know something weird about me? I did not do that in the episode about the cuckoo.

But everybody else would have not me talking to the artist, and he's like, Well, what way do you want to go for the podcast? I'm like, don't use any diabetes symbols or any juice boxes. He goes, what I'm like, I don't want to do that. I was like, You figured out a way to make it visually interesting. But we're not like ham fisted ly putting up pictures of vials and needles and stuff like that. I'm like, I'm not doing that, ya know? And he was like, okay, like, try harder. Don't do it. He's like, Alright, I'm in. I was like, Good. Get to work. Actually, kid was really nice. Sorry. I actually told him. He was like a real artist. He's like, we're gonna have to have meetings. I was like, well record them. And he's like, why am I cool? Record them. I was like, because if the art comes down, it's really good. I'll run I'll throw up a bonus episode. And I'll be like, Look, this is the process. I went through the artists hire the guy, you know? And he's like, Well, that's so nice. Thank you. When I sit down of course, like why why would I not try to help you? You know? Yeah. So anyway. All right. We'll stop now. And then I'll tell you something really, really, really petty about a podcast. Okay. Okay. All right, hold on.

I can't thank cellist enough for coming on the show and sharing her story with us. I also would like to thank you s Med and remind you to go to us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 To get your free benefits check and to get started today with us med the podcast today of course. Of course the podcast was also sponsored today by contour next gen. Oh, the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juice box easy to use bright light super accurate. There's no reason not to check out the contour line of meters. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're enjoying the Juicebox Podcast, please tell someone else about it. Or go into your podcast app. Leave a five star rating and a thoughtful review of the show so other people can find out what you like about it.