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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello Friends Hello friends Hello friends Hello Hello Hello Hello friends and what? Hello friends and welcome to episode nine I don't like the way that sounds Hello friends Hello Friends Friends Hello people of Earth Hello friends and welcome to episode 955 of no no not okay you guys hearing that? Am I gonna leave all this? I'm? Probably not hold on all right Hello friends and welcome to episode 955 of the Juicebox Podcast nailed it

Sam is with me today she has type one diabetes and is blind. She also has some other issues she's had a transplant. There's a lot going on here. This is a very, very, very, very, very interesting and honest interview. While you're listening to it. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin, drink a G one.com forward slash juice box that's my link to get started with a G one. When you use the link you'll get five free travel packs in a year supply of vitamin D with your first order. My cozy Earth offer code now gets you 40% off everything at cozy earth.com that offer code juice box. I'm talking about super comfortable luxurious bedding, clothing and towels. Cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off your entire order. All right, I hope you enjoy Sammy as much as I did. I'll see you on the other side

today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom Dexcom of course makes the Dexcom G six and Dexcom G seven continuous glucose monitors dexcom.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by touched by type one, they've got their big event coming up soon. I'm going to be there speaking you should come touched by type one.org. The event is free and open to everybody whose lives are touched by type one diabetes.

Sami 2:41
Hi, I'm Sammy, and I am a diabetic. who is blind from type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 2:51
Okay, Sammy, you were how old were you got type 117 How old are you now? 4817 48. Okay. And was there other type one in your family or other autoimmune diseases?

Sami 3:05
No, no one on either side. It was it was new. I didn't even in high school. I didn't I never even heard of the word diabetes. Never heard of the disease. So it was all new to me and my family.

Scott Benner 3:20
And just 17 years old bang, here it is. That's 31 years ago. Is that right? No? Yeah, no. Okay, so in the early 90s,

Sami 3:30
yep, 90 to the end of my junior year. So this is

Scott Benner 3:35
right around the time. People are transitioning to faster insulins away from maybe starting to get away from regular an MPH did you start? What did you start with?

Sami 3:52
I just remember it was a violent syringe. I honestly don't remember what I started with. At that time I was sighted. And over a two week period is when I kind of experienced the symptoms of weight loss and having to urinate all the time. Dry mouth. I didn't really think anything of it. My brother had mentioned something and so went to the doctor and tested my blood sugar and is over 600

Scott Benner 4:24
Wow, your brother mentioned that you look like you lost weight.

Sami 4:27
Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 4:32
Interesting age. So you're 17 does this lead to your parents saying sent me we're gonna help you with this? Or does it lead them to say, well, this is your thing. You have to take care of it or how does that go?

Sami 4:46
Like I said it was it was new to all of us. So we were learning. We were learning together. And at that time back in the 90s I kind of had a older doctor who was kind of by the book we're no sugar, you know? None of that good stuff. And I'm like, I'm a teenager, I live off of sugar. I live off a mountain dew and Snickers. And so that was a big, a big step to try to change. But I didn't I just thought the doctor was thinking no not being I'm a teenager, nothing's gonna happen to me. I'm invincible. I know better.

Scott Benner 5:20
So, so you're met with change your diet? And do you say no, I'm not gonna do that.

Sami 5:26
No, I didn't. I didn't say because I was still in that kind of fear mode. What is happening to me? And don't know what, what it's going to bring to my future, you know? So I just kind of did it on the slide. Underneath, kind of underneath my parents knows when they were trying to help me eat right and stuff. But when you're at school vending machines, that's was my that was my go to lunch.

Scott Benner 5:57
How were you doing the insulin? Was it? Do you remember? were you shooting it twice a day? Were you shooting it at meals? How were you? How was the management setup?

Sami 6:06
It was supposed to be with meals. But oftentimes I skipped because I was in between the in between classes and stuff. Didn't check my blood sugar at my locker trying to be really discreet. And so oftentimes, I just skipped it and kind of guessed on what I ate and what my blood sugar was, and kind of went from there. And over 12 years, that kind of habit. lead to losing my sight.

Scott Benner 6:34
Well, how long did that take to happen?

Sami 6:40
Happening Oh, four. So there was a more he was gradually over eight months, I noticed. Ironically, I was working at a deaf and blind school. And I woke up one morning and my eyes were swollen. And my vision was blurry. And it took half a day for my vision to return. So then I decided to go to see an eye doctor. And they said, My, both my retinas were detaching, and I would need surgery. And then at that time, I was working part time, no insurance. And back in the 90s. If you didn't do college or anything, you weren't under your parent's insurance. So after 18 I was on my own. So no insurance, paying out of pocket for meds when I really couldn't afford using syringes, twice, sometimes three times just to save money. So it was a lot, a lot of mistakes, for sure.

Scott Benner 7:40
So that onset of that issue is about 12 years after your diagnosis. Yeah, okay. And for those 12 years, I want to try to give people a picture and by the way, you're very kind to come on and talk about all this. What what did you not do for 12 years? That I think that's what I want to know about like, and were you not doing it? Because you didn't know better? Or you're not doing it because you just thought oh, it's not going to happen to me like what was your whole mindset around it?

Sami 8:14
Like it's going to interfere with my mind because my sports again, nothing's going to happen to me, you know, going into my early 20s very active in sports and taking the time like in between games, especially on the weekends competitive softball there was no you know, you didn't really have time so just skipped like I said skipped eight meals skipped my insulin sugar was skyrocketing high would take it just for their blood sugar the correction and then it would drop with the sports so it was a it was a roller coaster up and down all the time. But more so on the high side than the low side. We're talking three hundreds for hundreds back then I would wouldn't feel sick like some people do. This more of the dry mouth that I would experience and everyday go yep, I no time to try to save on test strips because those are expensive too. So guessing what my blood sugar was based off how I felt. So a lot of them misbehaving I guess I'm like, again, I couldn't afford to go to the doctor. So I try to do everything on my own. And at that time, I'm still new to it. So a lot a lot of guessing of what I should do a lot of bad guessing.

Scott Benner 9:40
Do you recall getting information from doctors that was valuable that you were ignoring or, or misunderstanding or was it not even coming?

Sami 9:51
It was probably there. I mean, back then there was no internet nothing. So it was it was paper and I'm like I don't have time to sit here and read this you know but it wasn't. I don't even think I even met with a nutritionist back then too. It was just strictly the doctor. And like I said, she was kind of older and old fashion. And I didn't like her. My parents didn't like her. But that's, that's who I had as a doctor. So, again, trying to avoid that going to see her was my biggest thing. And then she retired and got a new doctor, which was younger, who I liked a lot. But again, still couldn't afford the appointments, couldn't afford the insulin, the syringes, the test strips, so a lot of

Scott Benner 10:36
your parents school, your parents couldn't afford to help you either.

Sami 10:39
No one had four brothers shows. It was tight.

Scott Benner 10:44
Was there ever any conversation about what the consequence would be of that?

Sami 10:50
Um, probably, I don't remember. But probably I know, over the years, doctors who have kind of warned me and like, Hey, you don't know nothing. You know, this is my health my life. I'm okay. But I did notice a few years and before I lost my vision, and Oh, for that my vision would get blurry. And I just thought, Well, I'm working nights. I'm tired. My eyes are tired. But I never got my honest because I couldn't afford it either. So there were signs that I just ignored.

Scott Benner 11:23
Now I understand. What does it mean that you lost your sight? But what is the level of are you citation?

Sami 11:31
There's no vision, nothing whatsoever.

Scott Benner 11:34
Okay, so things are like, as you and I are talking right now? How do you describe what you what you take in? Is it black blackness?

Sami 11:44
Yeah, like, if you were, if you were in a dark room, that's like you don't see anything? Or if you close your eyes, there's nothing there.

Scott Benner 11:50
Right? Is it helpful in your day to day life that you recited for a while? Or does it not matter?

Sami 12:01
It's yeah, I definitely miss it. I miss my brothers growing up. And I have nephews that I've never seen, or last time I seen them was two years old. And they're 28 and 23. Now, so that's the last image I have, in my mind is last time I saw them, my two younger brothers were elementary and middle school. So there's a lot of things that I've, I miss, for sure I miss driving. For sure. Uber and Lyft is great, but it's expensive. And so not being able to get in the car and go whenever I want to, wherever I want to. I simply I, I really miss. But on the flip side of that is, I've met so many nice people as a blind person. And I tell people that I've been more blessed as a blind person than I was as a sighted person. And kind of what I mean by that is, as for me as a sighted person, more superficial than those who maybe were prettier than me, or more athletic than me just to try to fit in. And now I don't I don't you know, I don't see skin color. And I see personality, I see what comes from the heart. And that makes a big difference as to who is in my life now. And before?

Scott Benner 13:34
What our day to day, day to day. Are there things that you can accomplish that you miss? Or do you just adapt?

Sami 13:41
You adapt. There's lots of technology out there, like the Apple has what's called VoiceOver. And Apple specifically created that for blind and visually blind and visually impaired people. So that's been helpful. I've been able to use a cell phone, my laptop has what's called JAWS, which is Job Access with speech. So it's what's called a screen reader so it can read it, what's on my screen, anything that I type, same thing with the phone. So that's been helpful. There's talking looking meters, there's talking skills, just just a lot of technology out there that I didn't really have when I first lost my vision. And now it's like, you know, I don't need to learn braille, but I couldn't read it because I had neuropathy and in my hands and my fingertips and neuropathy in my feet. So Braille was really no use to me. So the technology has been, for me a good blessing because I'm able to do things on my own. It's very rare that I asked for help. Whether it's finding something or do See my phone's acting up and I can't scan the barcode to get the nutritional information for my carbs and serving size and stuff like that. That's when I rely on family and friends. But for the most part, I can live on my own.

Scott Benner 15:16
What do you think you're a one sees where for those 12 years,

Sami 15:21
double digits for sure. In my early 20s, as a type one diabetic, I was drinking a 12 pack of Mountain Dew a day. And now I just drink strictly water, a more plant based than anything. And that's helped my blood sugar's quite a bit, especially with say, chronic kidney disease, which led to end stage renal disease, which now leads to dialysis. So that's coming from uncontrolled diabetes.

Scott Benner 15:54
Have you How long have you been on dialysis?

Sami 15:57
Couple months,

Scott Benner 15:59
couple months? And what what's the prognosis? What are you hoping to have happen? Are you waiting for a transplant?

Sami 16:05
Yeah, my older brother is a match. I had my first transplant was in oh six, my dad gave me one of his kidneys. In oh seven, I had a pancreas transplant, which was great, because no more No more diabetes. That field unexpectedly, two and a half years later. So in 2010, I believe back to being a type one diabetic 2013 had another pancreas transplant, which lasted five years. And that failed unexpectedly as well. So back to being a diabetic again. And now I am into the July 10, I will go to one of the hospitals where I'm at and get evaluated for a transplant, my older brother is a match. So that's good. I don't have to wait years to find somebody, especially with three transplants, the antibodies are are harder to match. And so But thankfully, he's he's a match. And then once he does his evaluation, I do my evaluation, we get our testing completed, we can put something on the calendar for a transplant.

Scott Benner 17:20
Can you tell me what it's like to approach a person and ask them a question like that?

Sami 17:25
Oh, hey, family, does anybody want to donate one of your kidneys? My older, I have four brothers. My two younger brothers have kids, I didn't want to approach them. My second brother is single. And he he wanted to donate. But I know he's little he's nervous to do so my older brother, he's got two older sons in their 20s. So he felt comfortable enough to get tested.

Scott Benner 18:02
It seems like a really difficult thing to ask somebody.

Sami 18:06
It is. There's a lot I mean, the typical risk involved, and but there's no even though my older brother's a match, there's no guarantee that my body's gonna accept it, even with the rejection that so there's that chance of going through this whole process going through the surgery, and then my body says no, no, thank you. And then it's dialysis for the rest of my life.

Scott Benner 18:30
Yeah. So any chance to grab another pancreas while they're in there? Or?

Sami 18:34
No, they say because it has to be on the right side. And so the the vessels, arteries that are used or have been used already twice, I should say three times because I still have my original pancreas for the, for the digestive enzymes. And the transplanted pancreas is more for the insulin. So that's, I was hoping but that's out of the question. So the kidney Can is transplanted in the front. Kind of Viva hip bones. The first one from my dad is on the right side. So for my brother's gonna be the left side. So this is probably going to be the final one. And I'm hoping it'll last

Scott Benner 19:15
yeah, I hope so too. You're in a unique position to answer a question. So you've already said, you know, it's not going to happen to me. I'm young, like that kind of thing. Like that's how everybody thinks. And when they're faced with the idea of what could happen. Everybody just they dismiss it somehow, right? They're like, Oh, that won't happen. Bah, bah, bah, but when it actually happens, and there's no rewind button. Can you explain how that feels internally?

Sami 19:54
loss here My life is over. I, I, when my when I was losing my vision over the, the months, both of my retinas had detached by then my optic nerves were dead. And little vessels were growing out to try to get oxygen. But the high doctor that was going to was, was lasering them to shut that down. And every time he did that my vision got worse. So knowing that from full vision, and it gets smaller and smaller, kind of like tunnel vision, and then you wake up one day, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing is terrifying. How am I gonna live my life? Am I gonna have to live at home forever? You know, I mean, when I worked at the deaf and blind school, I had seen the deaf students travel quite a bit, you know, I'm very way younger than I was, and like, they can do it. But you know, now I'm in my 20s going to 30 How is it even possible for me. But you learn, like, you learn to adapt. And it's always easier, you're always kind of in survival mode, because it is a world of the sighted. So it's hard to thrive. In a society that kind of looks down on people with disabilities, you're always out there trying to prove yourself. And it's difficult to have been looked at as a liability instead of asset because people with type with disabilities tend to work harder, because they know how hard it is to get a job and wants to get a job. They want to stick with it. So they tend to work harder, and are more dedicated and able bodied people

Scott Benner 21:48
was there. Was there self reflection as the vision was waning? Like, did you say, Oh, my God would like do I can't believe I did. This was did you? But did any of that happen? And am I my my follow up? Question is that is? Are you the same person? Now you were when you were 27? Or are you a completely different person?

Sami 22:11
Yes, self reflection, even now self reflection, I mean, going on 19 years later, still self reflection, self reflection all the time. Because I'm missing out on stuff. My family is so used to me moving around the house. Without my without my white cane that they tend to forget that I'm flying. And same thing with friends. So hey, it's over there, you know, it's over there, while whereas over there. So stuff like that really kind of hurts in a way that they're, I mean, in a way, it's it's nice that they're forgetting that I'm blind, that they're not treating me any differently. But on the other hand, it's like, you know, you can't, you can't put a sharp knife in the sink. And that in that tells me you know, a little stuff like that. Or if you're gonna move stuff, taking the heads up, I've broken my toes. From objects being in, in the walkway, you know, my path. So forgetting to tell me and I go off to too late another broken toe. But I'd say the second part of that for sure. I've am a different person, for sure. In so in good ways and bad ways. And I have a lot of irritation, get irritable, quite a bit of people trying to be my voice and trying to do things that they think I need or want to do. And a lot of times, we may not need help or want help. So the best thing is to ask instead of assume. So you try. I mean, I try to be patient. It's always a teaching lesson and a learning lesson for others as well as tech because a lot of them a lot of people have never interacted with a person with a disability. So I tried to take that moment to teach and have learned something new instead of kind of being Oh, you're such a jerk. You're so ignorant, you know? I mean, it might go through my mind. Hey, if I put on the Uber app, hey, I'm blind need assistance. And this, you know, they pull up and don't say anything to me. And I'm like, Asus, my car is not my car. So thank you.

Scott Benner 24:38
Yeah, no, you initiate and it's not an Uber, but it's somebody with ill intentions. They'll be like, Yeah, this is the Uber good end.

Sami 24:45
Yeah, yeah. And I've done that where I've tried to get in a different car because I thought it was the Uber or Lyft and it's not. And it's not because the driver doesn't say anything or they don't hop on the car and say Hey, can you send me you know, and so on. stuff like that. It's kind of frustrating, for sure. But do you try to take an Australian try to show patients for sure. Like I said, a lot of people, they see people with disabilities, but never have really interacted with them. And we're just the same as everybody else. We bleed red, just like you we have a heartbeat. We have a mind we have a voice. But we're not treated like that. Which is,

Scott Benner 25:25
which is really hard. I can't imagine honestly, do you? Do you ever have like, one to one feelings? Like, I traded my site for Mountain Dew? Like, like, do you really mean like, you ever think of it that way? Like, well, I did these things. And somebody told me not to, but I did it anyway, I was sure I was gonna be okay, I was really wrong. And I don't even have nothing to do. And I mean, it's not like you. It's not like you ended up with something for your trouble that was positive. And I guess I'm asking you, Sammy, because it just in general, like about food, like, Forget diabetes for a second and your blindness and all that, like, every day people make decisions like that. And we say it, but I don't think anybody thinks that, like, you know, a cigarette takes a certain amount of moments off your life, a decision, you know, blah, blah, kills a brain cell, like that kind of thing. Like I'm gonna run into something I play football and you know, blah, blah, blah. Like there's, there's trade offs you're making, and you're paying with the end of your life. And, and I just don't think that anybody sees it that way. And I'm, I am almost desperately asking you to put into words like what what would you not give to go back?

Go to your browser type in touched by type one.org. The one is the numeral one. When you get there, you can check around look at the site, it's delightful. Or go right to that Programs tab and see what touched by type one does for people with type one diabetes, after you've poked around a little bit, go right to that annual conference. That's where you're gonna see that on September 16 2023. I Scott Well, I don't think my name is there yet. But trust me, I'll be there. I am going to be at touched by type ones annual conference, giving a number of different talks. And I hope you can be there with me. Touched by type one.org. registration opens on August 1, we're getting close. But go check out the venue and and see if you can't get your ducks in a row to come. Come see me. We'll say hi, take some pictures, smile or smile. You don't have to if you don't want to. You want to try to look serious in the photo. It's fine with me. But I'm going to smile touched by type one.org. Today's podcast is sponsored also by Dexcom dexcom.com. Forward slash juicebox. I just typed it in. Oh, look at this. They've updated my page. It's very lovely and colorful, cool people wearing Dexcom G sevens. The new Dexcom G seven it says the most accurate CGM system manage diabetes confidently with a powerfully simple Dexcom G seven that could be you. I won't read the site to you when you get there. But once you get there and read past those words, you're gonna see a button that says Get Started. You can click on that or you can scroll down and look a little bit at that and look more at the bit of a bit of them. Well, that was technical. Let me start over again. You can click on get started and fill out the data and what's wrong with me feel like I hit my head dexcom.com forward slash juice box click on get started I'm lost what am I am I have Hold on Alright, I got this dexcom.com forward slash use box click on get started and you'll be taken to and you'll be taken and you'll be taken yeah taken and you'll be the mother of click on get started and you'll get taken down to the new patient form where you can get started with the Dexcom CGM fill out a little bit of information Dexcom is gonna get right back to you. But you can also look around the page and learn more. Learn more about the connected pumps that work with Dexcom G six. You can learn about getting started with Dexcom G seven. Take a look at the receivers how it might work with your Apple Watch what the device looks like on different people. And you can read about how you can share your data with up to 10 followers there's so much information on this page. Don't Don't worry about the fact that I'm something seems to be wrong with me. The page Just terrific g7 For Medicare costs and coverage information, how it works an overview of the product Dexcom G six, everything is that my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. I am now going to go make sure that I'm okay. Because I think it's possible I've banged my head and I'm not aware of it. Anyway, I'm going to leave all that in, you should know that there are times where I just I can't talk. Today was one of those times don't take that out on Dexcom though. dexcom.com forward slash juicebox touched by type one.org links in the show notes, links at juicebox podcast.com. Oh, look at that. Now I'm rolling now it's over, right.

Sami 30:47
I mean, I'd give up everything to have. So even even if it's for one day, really, I think I think about that a lot of there are times where I give up my life just just to have a mission for 24 hours just to see my family just to see my nephews.

Scott Benner 31:06
No, I mean, that's what I appreciate you saying that.

Sami 31:11
It's, it's to me, it's, I know it's going to be for because I do my 2004 I lost my vision and over the years, because my eyes are not getting oxygen, they started to change color. Um, I got cataracts and glaucoma and was treated for that, but so that my, the whites of my eyes kind of turned yellowish, and my pupils were constantly dilated, and they started to shrink. So I can feel people staring at my eyes all the time. So I made the decision to get prosthetics in 2012. Okay. And now that you people can't, people don't even know the difference. They don't know that I have prosthetics unless I tell them or unless one of my eyes is looking the other way. You know, sometimes that happens when I rub my eyes and forget about it. But other than that, you know, back in the day, I guess, kind of like marble types where you they would put it in the eye socket. So what they did for mine is they put like a tiny, a tiny rubber ball in my eyes, I can only stretch the muscle over it. And then the doctor hand handmade my eyes and hand painted my eyes. Which is kind of cool. Because I could choose a color I used to have blue and now I have gray. So it's kind of cool that I could change my colors with with a Medicare, I can change my eyes every five years so I can get a new color. Every five years, I've had my original blue, I've had green and now I have gray. But you know, that moment of there goes my eyes, there's no chance of in the future. Being able to see again,

Scott Benner 33:09
yeah, it feels so similar to when my son left for college. And I told him I'm like, there just a couple of things in life, you can't. If you do them, you can't go backwards. And that they'll that they'll stay with you forever. And and you're not going to know that those things aren't going to be as impactful as they are. So I listed them out as I saw them for him. And it's funny, because as you're talking, I almost picture you in a jail cell because you murdered somebody sitting there every day having to think about it and and saying I wouldn't do this again. Like if you could let me do this again, I would do it differently.

Sami 33:52
We put it into words. That's exactly what it feels like.

Scott Benner 33:56
So sorry. I mean, not not especially but because even when you were diagnosed, like they really weren't giving great advice at that point. And the technology was specious. And you know, and you're just being told don't eat sugar that's not valuable. Like you know, just to tell somebody hey, just change everything, you know, you just had this diagnosis. You're 17 Now just go ahead and change everything about your life on top of that. And you have one year to figure it out, by the way before you lose your insurance with your parents. I mean, you weren't you weren't given a level playing field that's for certain you know, I mean, I don't see this as your fault like you and I hope that's clear. I don't I don't see it as fault I just see it as very just bad luck circumstances. But at the same time I don't know how you could possibly not put it on yourself internally I think I would I guess is what I'm so yeah, for sure.

Sami 34:51
I blame myself all the time thirds in my vision. It's my fault for not taking care of my blood sugar's for not doing the insulin like I should have found that listening to it. Yeah, there's always a blame. It's it's a heavyweight that I carry on my shoulders and I don't think will ever be removed.

Scott Benner 35:08
Yeah, but and isn't isn't the gift we're gonna have to say fault like it. Yeah, I mean, okay letter the law you did it right. But I mean, did you really know you were doing it while you were doing I mean honestly, it's not like pulling the trigger on a gun like I if I point a gun at you and I pull the trigger, I have an expectation that the person I shoot is gonna die. You didn't think that's what you were doing to yourself though?

Sami 35:31
No, absolutely not. I figured, well, you know, as long as I can get my sugar's back down, everything is going to be okay. You know, I can make up for it. There was. And the reason I had reached out because there was a podcast, with a mother who had talked about her teenage son, who kind of was doing the same thing that I did back then, of catching up kind of catching up. And that's what made me want to come on the podcast. And say, I, you know, I was in your shoes that you are in now, don't continue down that path. Because look what's going to happen? Yeah. And it's, it's, yeah, and like I said, it's fearful, it's terrifying, to be able to go from 2020 vision to absolutely zero vision.

Scott Benner 36:19
And at the level of at the level that you are managing at for those 12 years. I think that's about what I hear from people because there are other people who have come on with other kidney issues or sight issues, etc. This like 10 year thing, like 1012 years like, of really not paying attention and not doing the things that you need to do. It seems to be about as long as your body can take it. You know, for a lot of people. Were you thought you were taking some insulin, but what were you doing like running background insulin, not really injecting for food all the time, stuff like that.

Sami 36:56
It was more just for food and not for correction. Because again, the test strips didn't always test to see what my sugars were. So okay, so I didn't really understand the whole carb issue as well. So I'm like, Oh, well, I'm gonna guess I know, it's one over six, one for every six. But I'm not sure what these carbs are because I didn't look at the label. They really quite still understand that because again, no nutritionist no education. Just whatever the doctor said, Here, you Here you go. This is what you're supposed to do. I'm like, Okay, well, I

Scott Benner 37:34
don't imagine that even people right now, like 2023, somebody who's 1520 30 and 2530 years old, even when we could believe that but it's true. Like when we were growing up, Sammy, when we were growing up, no one discussed that any food was better or worse for you than any other food. That was not a consideration. Like soda was like, soda was a thing from like Happy Days, like from the 50s like a treat that happened at a diner for example. And it was and it was tasty and different than soda. Like, you know, like no one. No one thought about it as a bad thing. My parents drank copious amounts of coffee, no one said, Hey, you probably shouldn't drink 10 pots of coffee a day, my dad smoked two and three packs of cigarettes a day. No one ever said to him like, hey, that's gonna kill you until time went forward. And, and society started talking about it differently. And that's the first time my dad was like, oh, people say this is gonna kill me. Like my dad would go into coughing fits. That were, I mean, maybe beyond description. And it ended and everybody was just like, Ha ha like that happens to Ben. Like the only means really? Nobody if you did that. Now, if you coughed in public the way my father coughed 10 times a day, someone would have taken you to a hospital. And back then it just wasn't like that. And diabetes was was that personified? Like, like, I wonder if that doctor didn't wasn't saying to you look, do this stuff. Don't eat sugar. Did they ever tell you you're not gonna live long?

Sami 39:21
I don't remember. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 39:23
don't. It's right on the cusp of when it started getting think thought about differently. I mean, there are people older than you are not older than you but who have had diabetes longer than you who have who I've I've spoken to were told, just like, I had a woman told leave college, it's not going to be worth it. You're not going to live that long anyway. And I mean, when that's the expectation, then a How are you supposed to live like that's not going to happen and be What are you expecting from doctors, you think you're gonna die anyway? You know, and you were just on that cusp, right there of when we were starting to figure it out. little bit. It's so terrible. I am very sorry. I know that's not. I don't know if that's something that you care to hear or not. But I mean, it does just seem to me that your situation, even if you're going to blame yourself for it, like, it just seems random to me.

Sami 40:17
Yeah, yeah. Just the information that I know that I mean, it's, again, diabetes is is a moving target. It doesn't stay still, you know, you could, for me, I've had lots of changes, even within days of the doctor setting my correction scale and my carb ratio. I'm like, Okay, this is not working. I'm having month lows. I'm having lots of highs. It's, it's, it's constant. You know, it's constantly moving. And sometimes it's frustrating, because my mind is set on this dose, but Oh, darn it, I forgot I have to do this dose now. And in that sense, it's kind of frustrating because it's always changing. And now we have this new medicine. Oh, now we have this and this Miss. And it's like, Well, which one is which one is best? For me? I've been on this Novolog for a long time, that seems to work.

Scott Benner 41:08
A different one or something like that.

Sami 41:10
Yeah. And now Now I take three insolence. So I have my Nov along with the meals and then I take NPH in the morning with my transplant meds because I take prednisone every day. And no other doctor has ever mentioned the how prednisone could affect my sugars ever. To this recent doctor,

Scott Benner 41:32
that fascinating. So you're taking a medication that you have to take that's driving and holding your blood sugar up. And no one's ever put those two and two together and said, hey, you know what, why don't we go back, reach back to this mph stuff. And so you have a nice background of of, you know, trying to push down on this number.

Sami 41:50
isn't crazy.

Scott Benner 41:52
I mean, I wish I have to tell you something I wish it was and I don't think it is. Yeah, wow. That's something else. What is how are your outcomes? Now? Where's your agency? What's your variability? Like? What are your goals?

Sami 42:10
Last time I checked, I believe my A once he was a 6.9 which came down from last year I believe was 11. So I focused more on especially going into end stage renal disease of hey, I really need to pay attention. And there are days where I'm like, You know what, I don't care. I really don't care. Because of dialysis. It just makes you weary all the time. You're so tired all the time that I don't I don't feel like eating but I know I have to eat I know I have to take my insulin. I know I have to take my transplant meds and that's what kind of keeps me me going is these half twos. I wish they weren't but they are.

Scott Benner 42:57
Can I Can I ask a question? Did the blindness not move you on the diabetes stuff? Was it the was it the kidney stuff that got you to do differently? Or it was like the kidney stuff? Yeah. Wow. Can you walk me through that a little bit? How did losing your sight not kick you into gear?

Sami 43:18
Oh four, I had to I had to. I had to move back with my parents again. Because I was working at deaf and blind school couldn't drive anymore. So they had to come drive an hour and a half to come pick me up and all of my stuff move back home. I don't know. I mean, it's, it's when I lost my sight. I was so fearful of getting out of bed. I slept for 20 hours a day, my parents had to force me to get up to eat to take my insulin. They did all of that for me. Until about six years. deep dark depression. My life is over. I can't live as a blind person. Of course thoughts of of suicide go through my head. But then I'm like, you know, it goes kids. And this is what kind of changed the tide of working at the school. There was a student who was blind and he was on the wrestling team. And I was coaching assistant coach to the basketball team. And I would just watch him travel the halls of the gym, out on the campus back to the dorms all by himself. Like oh, she can do it and I know he's yet a lot younger than me. I should be able to do that too. And before that I only had one interaction with a student who was blind in middle school, he had a locker next to mine and he would travel this, the school hallways and so those two memories came back to me like, if they can do it, I can, I can definitely do it. So it took a lot of training, I went to, like a blind Training Center to refresh my memory of how to cook how to clean with different techniques and methods. But yeah, I mean, I don't know what I mean, no blindness was, was already going to be permanent. And there's nothing I could do to change it. But then with the chronic kidney disease, and we'll even know why that struck more of a chord with me. Because maybe, maybe, because I could I could lose my life with the kidney disease versus blindness.

Scott Benner 45:41
Is that also a view? Because you've worked through the Depression part of it too?

Sami 45:46
Could be I mean, there's still some depression there, of course, but it's not as as drastic as it was back in 2004. To 2010.

Scott Benner 45:56
Back then, did you have a plan?

Sami 45:59
Back? No, no, I was just going to be in bed the rest of my life, what my parents do everything, I was afraid to take my dishes to the sink to walk 10 steps from the table to the sink, I was afraid to do that, that I dropped. And so I didn't do that. I didn't do that for the longest time. And then I saw how somebody had to be home with me all the time. Because again, violence syringe, so they had to measure up my insulin. So they would kind of take turns between their jobs and stuff. Someone would be home with me all the time. I just, I just kind of felt inhibited in their voice of how exhausted they were.

Scott Benner 46:40
That's the second time you said that. So the first time you said that you could feel people looking at your eyes. And I wanted to ask him about that is it? Is it like, you know, when you're in a room, you can feel there's another person there. But you don't, you don't have to see them to know like, it's almost like the air pressure is different, or the pauses are different or something is that there's nothing you're reading when you're like, I know they're looking at my eyes right now.

Sami 47:05
Yes, you can kind of feel that, you know, sometimes when you feel someone staring at you, you know, you know, someone's looking at you. And that's kind of how it is. Again, there's an everybody has an aura so it can feel that. And like you said that the pressure in the room changes. Like when I'm walking, I can feel like the tree overhead like the branches overhead. I can feel that. I can feel if there's a car next to me, I don't know how big it is. But I know there's something there. And

Scott Benner 47:37
so the same thing with when you're living alone with your parents like you feel that is it. Can you feel that they're burdened by this that that they wish it wasn't happening? I'm sure nobody said it to you. But did you have that feeling?

Sami 47:53
Yeah, their energy had changed for sure. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Still kind of that. That way, too. They're older now. They're in their 70s. And that's kind of where I'm helping to take care of them now. My mom is deaf and my dad's hard of hearing. So thankfully, growing up, I knew sign language. If I had lost my vision without knowing sign language that would have been difficult to communicate with my mom, but we make it work. We do tactile signing, where she can send it to my hands or use my body as part of the sign and I signed to her. Yeah, just anything. So we we make it work.

Scott Benner 48:36
Is there any lightheartedness about it at all? Anyone ever said, Hey, what a pair we make or something like that?

Sami 48:42
Oh, yeah, yeah. When my mom and I are out shopping, she's my eyes and her ears and people come up and comment on that all the time. Oh, you guys would make a great pair. Yeah,

Scott Benner 48:54
how about? Again, this happened to you. 2029 years old. Am I right about that? Yeah. Okay. Were you in a relationship at that point? had had you had relationships prior?

Sami 49:11
Nope. Nope. Never, never. I mean, I've dated but never been in a relationship. And I feel too, and I was back then I was all about sports. That was my that was my thing. I don't have time. I don't have time to date men. I don't have time. You know, it was all about me and my sports. And then now losing my vision outdated, but a lot of times I find and I've done almost don't tell my pants icon on those stadiums. Those dating sites. And they're not always accessible, but I found a way to make them work like Bumble. And I start talking with a guy and in my profile, I would say I'm blind, you know, but they'd still reach out to me and And then when I bring it up again, they just think ghost. It's like really?

Scott Benner 50:04
Like they didn't see it at first. And then they were like, oh, geez, yeah. Or some

Sami 50:08
of them are like, hey, yeah, it's great. I'm cool with that. But it's like, Hey, you want to meet and then they're gone.

Scott Benner 50:15
Sammy, you just said, Don't tell my parents like you were 15. That was really interesting. They're not gonna listen to this podcast on their hands. Yeah, I mean, they're a part of hearing and deaf. They're not listening to the podcast, for sure. Yeah. Are you okay? With like, humor around about this stuff like it? So if you're with a person you trust you hear about or, you know, well, it's talked about make no differently than, I don't know, break balls with a friend about something.

Sami 50:46
Yeah. And I A lot of times, I use my blindness as an icebreaker. Because a lot of people are like, I don't know how to act around her. I don't know how to treat her. And so I'll use my blindness as an icebreaker and, and I'll laugh about and be like, Okay, well, that's cool. You know, she's cool about it. I'm cool about it.

Scott Benner 51:05
Yeah. I thought for sure. When you told me when you're on Bumble, and they found out I was blind, they still tried to send you a picture. That was exactly where I thought guys are so wanting to do that, even if they don't even think you can say it.

Sami 51:23
Well, I want to say it probably I want to say one guy did and I'm like, really? I think I got to the point of texting. And so he had said he's like, send me pictures of your wife. How am I supposed to do that?

Scott Benner 51:40
You should have you should have sent a picture of half your face and the armbar. Hilarious. But, but he still did it. I still was like, here. Let me show you.

Sami 51:51
Yeah. And I'm like, Okay, well, that doesn't help. Were fascinating

Scott Benner 51:55
people, men generally. That really made my point. And by the way, most people heard me say that and think oh my god, Scott, You're ridiculous. But see, it happened. I know people. Okay, so. Do you ever Can Can I ask you a really uncomfortable question. Ever? Consider getting like, I don't know what it's called. I guess it's a prostitute, right? If you're like, Yeah, have you ever thought of doing that?

Sami 52:30
As long as I don't share this with my family. Yes, I have. But it makes me fearful because being taken advantage of.

Scott Benner 52:39
Yeah, you need a third party. You gotta have a real good friend. Be your your reverse pimp somehow, like somebody's gonna be there for you for safety.

Sami 52:49
Yeah, I've talked with one of my good friends. And she's helped me with stuff like that before, but it's always the it's always the vulnerability that stops me.

Scott Benner 53:00
Sure. No, I would have a hard time imagining how you could get over it. But I still think you would think about it.

Sami 53:08
Oh, yeah, I mean, even even going out for a walk. You know, I really can't enjoy the sun. I can't enjoy hearing the birds. I have to pay attention to where I'm going what's around me and all the noises around me to make sure that I stay safe.

Scott Benner 53:23
Yeah, because in a world where a guy would send a pic to a blind woman on Bumble you need to watch out for yourself. Yes, yeah. 100% No. 1,000,000% like I definitely get that. Oh my gosh, yeah. It Do you have any other autoimmune issues? No one else has ever come up.

Sami 53:42
No, thyroid has always been normal. And I've heard you talk about that. My mom and her mom has had thyroid issues, but thankfully mine has always been normal and I haven't had any issues with that

Scott Benner 53:52
suit. No celiac or anything like that digestion stuff.

Sami 53:56
I ended up getting gastroparesis in 2010 I had no idea what it was lots of vomiting after meals and stuff and then finally diagnosed so I was on medication for the longest time. And and I went to a chiropractor because I was having back issues and after a couple adjustments my gastroparesis went away. Relative to not I could do not Yep.

Scott Benner 54:24
Listen, I don't know if there's any cause there but good for you and congratulations.

Sami 54:30
But now with dialysis, it's kind of returned back. Yes. So that's kind of it's it's it's frustrating.

Scott Benner 54:38
Are you going to a dialysis center or are they doing it at home?

Sami 54:41
Center? That's for me it's it's more conducive to do a center than try to figure out do

Scott Benner 54:48
I kind of imagined but I just wanted to check and are you wiped out afterwards? Does it kick your ass?

Sami 54:55
Yes, it does. Even on my off days. It's like I'm recuperating, right It's the weariness that is the biggest thing. The first week. It was awful leg cramps all the time. Hard to break shortness of breath, heart palpitations, but I guess that's kind of normal when you first started and then after a while your body gets used to it. But the weariness always stays. So usually I take a nap in the afternoon exam in the morning from seven to 11, three, four hours a day, three to three times a week. And then afternoon, so I usually take a nap and then on my days off, sometimes I'll take a nap twice a day. It's just very, I can't work. It's hard to really do anything. Chores are a chore.

Scott Benner 55:48
My my friend went through dialysis and I know it was it was really difficult. Hades switch to Diet Mountain Dew.

Sami 55:58
No, I don't drink. The only thing I drink is water I strictly water.

Scott Benner 56:04
Diet Mountain Dew is not that bad. I mean, if you're gonna drink Mountain Dew, get it. I mean, it's funny too, because I remember it from when I'm your age, like I'm three years older than you. But you guys, like you don't know, like, when Mountain Dew came out, it was so good. And like so different from anything I'd ever had before in my life. And I don't know, like it just, I just it's such an interesting time in our history where we were, we were able to make all these like so called foods and yet we never really considered what if anything, they might be doing.

Sami 56:40
Very, very addicting and paper that what sugar does is makes you want more. So, one one bite of a of candy or potato chips. You know, I mean, just keep going like that, Oh, I gotta have another one little pieces or two pieces. You know?

Scott Benner 57:01
Yeah, it's like gambling almost. Like, I'll just I'll just bet $1 And then before you know it, you're like, I lost 500 bucks. And, you know, it's that same sort of slippery slope thing. What am I not asking you that I should be but what don't I know about your life that's interesting or, or might be valuable for people to know.

Sami 57:24
Intention. Pay attention to your diabetes, for sure. And it's, it's, it's not a game. It's definitely not a game. No matter how frustrating it can be, or burdensome it can be you need to pay attention all the time. Even, you know, when your sugars are high, it adds up it does damage. And over years of that, it's it's gonna hit you out of the blue, you know, and if you get married, have kids, and you miss out on that. It's gonna hit you hard.

Scott Benner 58:00
I can't even I genuinely can't imagine what's what you're going through. Do you have a Do you have a dog? Do you have a seeing eye dog?

Sami 58:07
I do not know. You have to be to have seen I dog you have to travel quite a bit out and about quite a bit. And I'm not more of a homebody, so that wouldn't work. But we have a dog here we have a cat here. I have a visually impaired cat. My younger brother thought it was cool. I had a Blind Cat first blind sister. So yeah, thinking a little good.

Scott Benner 58:32
Let's see, well, your younger brother's got a it's got a good vibe about him. And I would imagine that helped you. You know, my brother has a one eyed cat. And he said he they went to a they went to a shelter. And they were looking at animals. And he's like, I saw one that had just one eye. And I thought well, this is the one I'm gonna help. That's it. And he and he took it. So I mean, it's nice to help people that need help. And it's nice to help animals that need help.

Sami 59:05
You can sense that just like people only making sense when something's wrong with you, you know, they sense that you're sick. And so a lot of dogs tend to gravitate towards me because they know, they know I'm sick. All of my brothers dogs. They gravitate towards me. So in a way, it's kind of cool that I get their attention and their love

Scott Benner 59:26
100% Wow. Well, I mean is is your attitude. I mean, I'm gonna end on this for you. Okay, so is your attitude. A function of your new perspective, like I always say that, like, the more you experience in life, the more broadly your perspective grows, right? And then the the more you can kind of look at things and say wow, that's not important. Like things that you would hold as very important in the past you know, aren't things that you would ignore you know, are are important, like that kind of stuff, you almost get the perspective of a person who's lost that I mean a life almost, but you're still alive. And instead, so instead you're like, Wow, I'm still here. And this is what what it is like, you're, you seem very kind, do you think you're a kind person?

Sami 1:00:16
Yeah, I give more than I receive, I don't like receiving gifts, I feel people have pity on me. So they give me this, or that I can't afford it. So I give more. Because there's always somebody who's the least of you, if that makes sense. So somebody who's worse off than you. So I, I find for me giving to others is it helps, helps me. Attitude wise, still kind of cynical. At the world. I mean, I know things are, are slightly changing. But it's, I feel like it's always going to be anybody with a disability is always going to be at the bottom of the totem pole, no matter what, we're always going to be shoved down there. And when we try to climb up, you know, we're pushed back to. So trying to be an advocate and, and fight for that and fight for rights. And, you know, there's laws that protect us, but they're not always followed, which is, which is frustrating, too.

Scott Benner 1:01:27
I really believe in helping people as a way to help yourself at times. And I hadn't planned on talking about this to me, but I do do you listen to the podcast with any regularity?

Sami 1:01:41
Sometimes it depends on what your what your subject is. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:01:44
that's fair. My mom's health is in a sharp decline. And as a matter of fact, talking to you today is maybe the best thing I've done today. And I actually appreciate the the opportunity to not think about things for a little while. But I, oh, God, I don't think I don't think my mom's gonna live much longer. And like, we might be talking about days. And my wife's like, why don't you cancel this recording this afternoon? And I said, no, like, you know, I just, I like it. I like helping people. And I like, making this recording. So it helps other people. And I felt like I was doing something today, and I'm in a position where I can't help my mom any longer. And I just thought, Well, I'll try to help other people. And I find it really rewarding, honestly, in ways that are hard to maybe to understand if you're not. If you don't find yourself in this situation, I guess.

Sami 1:02:45
It's like you're, you're helping your mom or connecting with your mom by helping other people.

Scott Benner 1:02:52
Yeah, no, it definitely feels like I'm also very much a problem solver. And I think I'm a caregiver. And sometime about an hour before you and I got on, I think I made the last decision for my mom that I can make. And so it's very, it's a very lonely feeling to not be able to do something for and, and believe it or not the way my brain works, asking you that question about whether or not you thought about like getting an escort? I actually felt good about that question. I thought that's a really honest thing that people in your situation must go through. And I bet nobody asks them about it. Nope.

Sami 1:03:36
It's, it's one of those questions like, you know, can be too personal. But I heard I mean, that listen to other podcasts where, you know, whatever their disability is they do they, they go that direction, because that's the only way they feel they can get connection and love from somebody else. And sometimes I feel that way too. It's from strangers versus family or friends. Again, it's that vulnerability and afraid of being taken advantage of that. Definitely held me back.

Scott Benner 1:04:11
Just get yourself up. Get yourself some muscle and a little body guard action, you'll be okay. What about other stuff? Like, you know, I mean, what happens if you like because the other thing I'm hearing from you, to me the most restrictive part of your situation is not being able to immediately get up and do something like that actually, is the thing that hit me like, What if I want to go somewhere? I can't What if I want to do this? Like I got to ask another person like that. That thing? I know is not must not be fun. But what happens if you get it in your head? Like I want to smoke weed? Like how do you make How do you make things like that happen?

Sami 1:04:51
No good question. Find somebody find a friend who does it and ask hey, can you introduce me?

Scott Benner 1:04:58
Later for things I don't just mean what I mean, like anything like you need a facilitator for some of that stuff. That's not. That's not the stuff we say out loud.

Sami 1:05:05
Right? Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. Because, again, a lot of websites are not accessible and not easy to navigate. Here, link, link, link, link link. Well, what is this link for? Or blank? Blank, blank, blank? Well, what's going on here? So, I mean, there is a law in ADA law, that website is supposed to be accessible, but a lot of a lot of that is ignored. And it's hard to, you know, there's just so much out there that you can't find every single one. But yeah, I have to depend on friends for that kind of get a feeler out there of if they're comfortable, if they're not comfortable, you know? If I think of a friend that all ask her, well, now she doesn't, you know, the topic is ignored.

Scott Benner 1:05:59
Like, what if you drop the hint, you're like, Hey, Mom was looking for some weed, and then they just kind of ignore you. And you're like, Oh, I said it, nothing happened. Like that kind of thing. Or even like, I mean, boy, that's you really would have to have a good friend to say, Look, I know, this is crazy, but I'm looking for an escort. And I don't feel safe. And I need to I need, I need some help. Because if you if we were friends, and you asked me that, I'd be like, All right, like, let's I mean, because now we're probably involved in something illegal to some degree or another. But maybe we can work it out online a little bit somewhere. And, and then I don't know, it's like, maybe it would feel exciting, like a James Bond situation. Yeah, yeah. I think you should go for it, Sammy.

Sami 1:06:44
If I do, I'll give you an update. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:06:46
my God, listen to me. Thank you. If you do that, honestly, I should be the person you call the next day. You will get right back on here. And we will talk all about that. For 100%. Sure. It really is. I mean, it's a it's just a very interesting look, you just gave us into into a life that I don't think many people can understand. And I think you've also, you know, left a great message for people listening without trying to be scary. Like you're not, you're not yelling Buddha them. Like you're saying, Look, I I did the things, here they are here was the outcome. If you think it's not going to happen to you, you know, you're wrong. And I've used this example before. And I think it works here. You know, my father would, his whole life would say I went to the doctor, I said they can't even tell I smoke bottle, and I was like, whatever. And then you know, he died from, you know, heart failure from smoking. And, you know, and, but his whole life, he was like, this isn't getting me like as he was as it was killing him. He thought it wasn't getting him. You know, and he Luckily, he lived into his 70s. But, you know, it's not how it goes with this, this. This blood sugar thing is woefully misunderstood by a great many people. And incredibly impactful on your entire body. Not just one part of it, like you have blindness and your kidneys, blah, blah, blah. But that doesn't mean that I mean, Saint me, I wouldn't say this unless I unless I was very comfortable that you're a bright person. And you know this already. There's no saying there's no damage in your heart, or that there won't be one day or any, that's, there's no such thing. This is the end of this even. And yeah, and it's not something that people talk about. And they should and it's not people it's not something people understand widely and they should so

Sami 1:08:51
yeah, it's it's blindness is survivable. It's doable for sure. Testament a testament to that. But it's not something that I would wish on anybody or even myself you know, I mean if I could go again talking prior if I can go back I would, I would. I would go bankrupt to make sure my blood sugars were the way they were supposed to be. I was taking insulin like I should have been and I was taking care of myself I would absolutely go back

Scott Benner 1:09:25
I fully expect that if I ever turn on the television and see Elon Musk saying he made a time machine I'm gonna see you bum rushing him on the stage

Sami 1:09:35
wagon with my cane Linnaean there

Scott Benner 1:09:37
we're going Elon right now let's show all these people you know, I can't I mean again just very kind of you to talk about all this and let me be the way I am. What we're talking about it I don't even know even know how to describe myself sometimes. But it just to me seems like like if we're going to talk about this, then let's really do it. You know?

Sami 1:09:59
Yeah, and And I appreciate you. Let me come on because again, it's not, it's not a topic that's talked about, you know. And it's important that that everybody knows, parents, teenagers, or, you know, whatever it may be that, hey, you know, you may have to be a helicopter parent, or a nagging parent, but it's extremely important that your child or yourself, take the time to pay attention.

Scott Benner 1:10:32
You have to find a way, you have to find a way to be a parent. And you have to believe that it's not always going to be like a great story. We're like, oh, I told them this, and they really accepted it, and everything's fine. They might not accept it, but it's still when it's over. If they're alive, and their kidneys work, and their eyes work, then you did it. You know, not not saying it has to be a battle, but it's for some of you, it will be like, for some of you, you're gonna I mean, listen, Sammy, between you and me. You sounded difficult when you were younger. What, but but if but if I was your dad, I would have kept after you because I know better because I live in this time your father didn't know. Right, fair enough. But he even would have got an inkling and said, Oh, no, this isn't okay. And he would have rode you. You'd be in a better situation right now. Even if you had a you didn't like your dad because of how he treated but you were healthy. Yeah, I would have thanked him.

Sami 1:11:27
Right. As you get older, you're like, oh, looking back? Oh, you know, that's why my parents said that. That's what my parent did that or prevented me from doing that. You know, I mean, when we're younger, we don't think about that. It's all about me and having fun and whatnot. And you don't think about the cost points of yourself or to other people, and how that might affect them or yourself. And then when it happens, it's like, oh, yeah, I get it, then it's too late.

Scott Benner 1:11:52
If you expect to get paid right now, for being a parent, you're out of your mind. You have to live long enough for your kids to get old not for them to go, oh, wow, that was great. What they did for me, and then they still might not say it to you. So it's not a job. If you're looking to get paid to be apparent, like it's, it's not really how it works. So alright, Sammy, I appreciate this very much. Can you hold on one second for me? Yeah. Thank you.

How about Sammy? Hmm, just That's terrific. Really terrific. Thank you so much, Sammy. Thank you. And thanks. So I still can't talk. And thanks. Can I be honest with you guys, I got like three hours of sleep last night. And it's like, nine o'clock at night. And I realized I gotta go to bed. So I want to thank Sammy, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank Dexcom for sponsoring this episode of the podcast, and remind you to go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box to get started today with the G six or the G seven whatever your preference is. They have it at my link, also to remind you to go to touch by type one.org and look through that tab, Programs tab. See all the great stuff they're doing there and find them on Facebook and Instagram. I'm just gonna cut my losses here and say thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast but I promise I'll sleep before I put the next episode together for you. Thanks, guys. Have a good day.