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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 939 of the Juicebox Podcast

Brittany is an adult living with type one diabetes who was six months pregnant when we made this recording. My note at the end tells me this episode is very funny. And that's what I'm going to tell you about it. Britney's cool. She's a special education teacher. And she's funny. She recorded this in our car, I think, Oh, actually, she definitely did. She recorded this episode in her car on her lunch break. I hope you enjoy it. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. Let's see 10% off your first month of therapy@betterhelp.com forward slash juice box 35% off your entire order at cozy earth.com with the offer code juice box at checkout. And a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs is what you get with your first order at athletic greens.com forward slash Juicebox. Podcast. today's podcast is sponsored by me. And I choose to tell you about the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook 40,000 members, over 110 new posts every day. There's a conversation happening right now in the private group for this podcast that you would be interested in. So head over right now to facebook and join that group is absolutely free. I know you're gonna like it Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. For those of you looking for the series, like bold beginnings or defining thyroid, they're all in the featured tab of that private Facebook group. But if you're not on Facebook, check them out at juicebox podcast.com. Go to the top click on the menu, you'll see all the different series within the podcast.

Brittany 2:27
I'm Brittany, I am 28 years old. And I was diagnosed with type one diabetes when I was 12. So I have had it for more than half my life now. And I am a special education teacher. I am six months pregnant. And so this pregnancy has opened up a whole new journey of my type one diabetes that I never really came to terms with I guess I say now that I used to kind of live with my diabetes, side by side and now I feel like I'm living with it. head on. But

Scott Benner 3:13
tell me one more time how old you are

Brittany 3:15
28 Okay.

Scott Benner 3:18
I know everything I need to know, to make a podcast that is interesting, entertaining, and informative, and much more popular than other podcasts. Here we go. Do you think that other people listen and think, but I do pre work and I ask people a bunch of questions and I I know what they're going to say and I have questions set up and nobody listens to my pod.

Brittany 3:39
No. I don't think when I listened to it. I don't think you do. But I'm always really impressed at how natural you are asking people questions.

Scott Benner 3:47
Oh, yeah, I'm not like you know, now we're into it. I am not prepared at all.

Brittany 3:54
Particularly like Arden's episode really opened my eyes. And like when she was talking about how she had a wedgie and stuff, I'm like, Am I cool enough to be on this podcast? Just so effortlessly at ease.

Scott Benner 4:08
Well, listen, Brittany, if I told you what I was doing 10 minutes ago, you'd be like, that's your prep for this. So all right, well, we'll let everybody wonder what that is. And we'll get going. So 12 years old, you were diagnosed that is 16 years ago. I don't want to throw you off with how quickly I was able to subtract two from eight and one from two but it's pretty impressive. Yeah 16 years ago makes it

Speaker 3 4:35
2006 2007

Brittany 4:40
March 2007. March 13 Okay, so we make it was a Friday the 13th I think it

Scott Benner 4:45
was Friday the 13th

Unknown Speaker 4:48
Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 4:50
I like the way you're trying to name the episode in the first few minutes.

Brittany 4:54
Spooky vibes.

Scott Benner 4:56
Also everyone should appreciate that Brittany is recording this from Her car outside of her place of employment. Yes. Six months pregnant. Yeah. Is there any chance you'll have to pee during this?

Brittany 5:09
No, I ranted every minute that you're teaching is so sacred. So I ran to the bathroom before cut to the skull.

Scott Benner 5:17
What are the children doing right now? Did you lock them in a big like closet?

Brittany 5:22
They're in specials. So either te R or dance.

Scott Benner 5:28
You lock them in a closet. I appreciate that. Yeah. Just as some of them are they in your trunk? That's lovely. You were right. Diagnosed right, sort of at the beginning of CGM. So I'm interested in how you left the hospital with technology or not.

Brittany 5:49
Yeah, I didn't get a CGM until I don't know maybe 2010 or 11. I was in one of the studies because I live outside of Boston. So I was in one of the studies for Jocelyn diabetes, and they basically paid me to wear like, the huge I don't know which one it was. It's like a big black circle. That was the most obnoxious loud alarms. And it was very inaccurate. First. I think like $1,000 and they paid for my parking so my parents are really excited.

Scott Benner 6:30
And parking. Why thank you. And this thing? Yeah. That alarm forever and never be right. Oh, I can't wait. So exciting. Well, yeah, it was nice to be part of a trial.

Brittany 6:41
It wasn't it wasn't a part of my life or even on my radar. When I left the hospital. I was totally like finger picking and doing injections. I didn't even know CGM existed yet.

Scott Benner 6:53
Okay. All right. Interesting. So, injections meter. How long did you go like that for with just this? Were you doing syringes or a pen?

Brittany 7:03
I did syringes for probably a year. I think I upgraded the pen in eighth grade. I think I got a pump halfway through freshman year at high school.

Scott Benner 7:13
Okay. Alright. So Alright, that'll make sense. What was your first pump?

Brittany 7:20
The Delta Cosmo. The best pump ever

Speaker 3 7:23
had the Cosmo? I had the Cosmo. I loved it so much as those

Scott Benner 7:28
everyone else who was ever stoked about it. What about it was

Brittany 7:34
I don't know. Like I think it was the all the time because now I wear a T slim of control IQ. And I think if I had the Cosmo as an option today, I would take it. Really? Yeah. I don't know if it was an emotional connection.

Scott Benner 7:47
It's kind of it has to be sentimental. It couldn't be better than the control IQ, could it?

Brittany 7:54
No, no, no. It's totally a sentimental thing. Yeah, I just think it was like, I don't know, I also went to diabetes camp shortly after getting diagnosed. And that was like a huge foundational part of my type one diabetes life. And I just remember like, I never wanted a pump. I didn't want anything on me to do with diabetes, and then I show up to camp and so all these people with these delta Kosmos on and I was like, I want one

Scott Benner 8:22
of those. Oh, I so Okay, so right now, so salesmen and women right now for pumps and CGM are like Oh, okay. Give them to the kids at the camp.

Brittany 8:36
That's, that's what hook so that's all you need for advertising camp.

Scott Benner 8:39
diabetes camp was your free taste.

Brittany 8:43
died because it was what? Oh,

Scott Benner 8:46
look at you. Not a drug person. Britney, I said your free taste.

Brittany 8:54
Camp was everything to me. How come? Um, well, getting diagnosed at that age and middle school was really difficult. I feel like I was like, trying to figure out who I was. And then I get this disease in seventh grade. And the kids are mean, that's what I teach. Now. I teach middle school. And kids are just brutal at that age. And so you know, I had this it was went to a smaller school. So everyone knew that was in the hospital, when I came back in the hospital was like, the girl with diabetes is now here. And some of the boys there was a specific group of boys that really bullied me. And I just struggled so much with that. And I tried, I think to use humor as a coping mechanism a lot of the time, but inside it did really bother me. And I did have a period of trying to hide my diabetes like I would not go to the nurse or my injections. I would just like sit in class and You know, pretend like it wasn't time to go take my insulin and go to lunch and eat without insulin.

Scott Benner 10:05
Because of the pressure from other people.

Brittany 10:09
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I would stand up in class and these kids would make like little snickering seventh grade comments.

Scott Benner 10:16
Was this. Was this a seventh grade thing? Or a Boston thing? Or a mix? Not for nothing, but you people are mean.

Brittany 10:23
Yeah, probably a mix.

Unknown Speaker 10:25
Is it the cold probably mix?

Scott Benner 10:29
Was the cold it was like, I don't know. Seven winter here in March. I don't know. Yeah, right. Is it? month seven of winters? That is how bad the Red Sox were for house. How long are like what? It's the is it the wind that comes off the water? Because it's, it's I've only been there a handful of times. And I make fun of Canada, but hellscape okay. It just terrible cold, wind. And it rains. If it rains, you're like, Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. No,

Brittany 10:59
it was season seasonal bullying.

Scott Benner 11:03
Yeah, this would mean, were they any nicer in the summertime.

Brittany 11:09
I avoid them at all. I was at diabetes camp,

Scott Benner 11:12
where I want to go back at a time machine and find out if those kids were pleasant in the spring and summer and just nasty in the wintertime. Because they're their little pre pubescent balls were cold. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Well, this is terrible. You know, we're laughing through it. But you see, this prep

Brittany 11:32
that I did, you know, I think I started to use it as like, Oh, haha, I do. Like, if you're gonna laugh at me, I'm going to laugh too. So I did I make a lot of jokes at my diabetes. And you know, and then that diabetes, Caitlin made a lot of jokes, too. So but at least it was with people that understood where I was

Scott Benner 11:51
coming from. That's understood that's, that's acceptable for all. If you're all together in it, then then That's right. So they joke, and snicker and bully, and you go along with it, to avoid the friction. And probably figured, well, I'll make fun of diabetes as well. But then that leads you to not taking care of yourself as well. Yes, you ever tell your parents?

Brittany 12:18
No, I don't think I did. I think I, I used it so much as humor that I convinced myself that it was funny. And I never would have went to them thinking or saying, Yeah, you know, I'm getting bullied. I don't think I even thought of it in my head is bullying.

Scott Benner 12:35
Do you think they knew what was happening?

Brittany 12:39
No, I think that's a whole part of like, my diagnosis age, it was like, right at time when people are still, you know, kids were becoming dependent, you kind of like, are on this learning curve of like, I don't know, all we could do in that in Boston was kind of them all by ourselves, but like, you know, going home all by yourself or going to your first sleepover. And I really wanted to do those things. So I think I constantly had to prove to my parents that I can still do these things in my diabetes. It doesn't bother me. No, it makes fun of me. I got this. So I would say my parents really only were actively involved in my care. like day to day for the first like six months. And then I really, like took it and ran.

Scott Benner 13:28
Wow. Okay, my, here this is how pregnant are you? Six months? Six months? Oh, actually, yeah. Because when you asked to be on the podcast, you're like, maybe I'll have a baby. Hopefully, I was like,

Brittany 13:41
I thought I thought I thought maybe I will be trying or like be very recently pregnant. I got pregnant, like three weeks before my wedding, which was a surprise. So

Scott Benner 13:53
way to go. Yeah. That's not how you're supposed to do it.

Brittany 14:02
No, no, it's not. I guess, as long as you don't recommend, I guess

Scott Benner 14:05
as long as the dress doesn't need to be fitted again. Who cares one way or the other?

Brittany 14:10
Yeah, I feed a lot of people.

Scott Benner 14:13
So yeah, you trick your eggs, that's for sure. So Brittany, I'm gonna share something with you. The reason I asked about how pregnant you were is because I don't know how emotional you'll be when I say to you that one of my biggest fears as a parent is that what I think is happening isn't actually happening. So you're managing your kids, I guess they call that parenting, or loving them or doing whatever it is you're doing based on the information you have. And when they live with you. And they're young. That's the easiest time because all of the influences and variables that impact them you're aware of, and then the minute they leave the house the first time. You don't know what they're doing. And it's hard. Yeah, really, really horrifying. Like, right now I don't know what Arden's doing. And if I stopped and thought about it too much, I'd spin the circle, get my car drive to where she is, which I think I'm supposed to say Chicago. And so, if you heard her episode, I guess she'll get that. If not, I don't know. And so, so I drive, that's what I would do right now, just to see that she was okay. And yeah, and I often

Brittany 15:29
wonder, like how my parents were able to give me that independence. And I think it's just the way that I carried myself and also not having Dexcom. Well, not having the fallout,

Scott Benner 15:42
because they didn't know what was happening. And so but what I was gonna say is, the way you do that is, you either cling to just blind ignorance and look away and go, it's fine, everything's fine. Or you are steeped in it so much that it makes you mental. And hopefully, you can find them.

Brittany 16:01
I argue now that diabetes is like, you know, more accessible with all the technology, but mentally a lot more challenging. I think for caregivers and people living with

Scott Benner 16:12
it. It's interesting, though, but what's the next sentence? However? Right, man, I can I feel pretty freaking just tell me, what is this? What are we, in the middle of a game? Shouldn't I gotta I gotta fill in the blank. I take your point, right? Like there was a time previously where you didn't have the data. And you could go, well, it must be okay. Except for some people, it works out. Okay. And for some people, they end up with serious health conditions. Exactly. So,

Brittany 16:45
and I feel extremely grateful that I'm not one of them. And I sometimes I'll look back on my life. And it's not like I was like, super out of control or had these like, you know, 1213 a one C's I really never got there. I was always in like the sevens and eights, which my husband does left now because he thinks I was just in the sevens because I was either 350 40. And so I was just somewhere in the middle.

Scott Benner 17:12
Man, I say, Brittany, that that is how that happens. Yeah,

Brittany 17:15
I know. And your podcast taught me that. And I was listening today. And I was like, shoot, I've been called out.

Scott Benner 17:23
Now, here's an interesting situation being called out. Did you know that you were coming to that number dishonestly? Or? And you were ignoring it? Or did you not?

Brittany 17:34
Ah, that's a good question. I think I might have known in the back of my head, but similar to like denying my bullying. I was like, Well, you know, it says the average is 150. So I must be doing pretty good. Like I I don't think I let numbers get in my head too much.

Scott Benner 17:57
Okay, do you know every time someone says that's a good question in my head, my voice goes, I know.

Brittany 18:07
That reflecting back on it, I think a lot about how, Wow, I did all that. And I had diabetes. Like I just I really was letting live. By my side. I was controlling it enough to survive, but not really thrive.

Unknown Speaker 18:24
Okay, if that makes sense.

Scott Benner 18:25
It makes total sense. I mean, I'm not trying to change the world in this moment. But I am trying to put into people's heads that ignoring something doesn't mean it's not happening.

Brittany 18:37
Yes, I think that yeah. You know,

Scott Benner 18:39
you have to, you're making your trade. You know, that's it. I'm not saying that. It doesn't happen constantly in life for all sorts of things. You know, everybody who, at the end of the night walks through the kitchen and grabs a piece of candy after they brush their teeth, you're making a trade. You know what I mean? You're gonna be sugar on your teeth while you're sleeping. So you're probably gonna get a cavity, and it's probably not gonna happen for a year or two. And then you're gonna get it and look at the dentist like, oh, I can't believe this. And the dentist. That's a great analogy. Yeah. And you know, when the lady that cleans your teeth, asks you if you're flossing, you lie to her and say yes.

Brittany 19:19
Every time yeah,

Scott Benner 19:20
she knows you're lying.

Brittany 19:23
endocrinologist. Yeah, where's your meter? I'm not sure.

Scott Benner 19:27
Oh, meter. Goodness sakes alive and I need to bring that with me. I forgot. Yeah, so the lady cleaning your teeth knows you're lying. You know you're lying. Then the dentist comes in to see you. He knows you're lying. Or she ladies can be dentists to Brittany. And oh, and then you know, I just said that because my dentist is the man right? Brittany, I would never go to a female dentist. No, I'm just kidding. I'm upset that I have to say I'm just kidding because I would like the joke to just lie there but you know I don't need people. Yes. Understanding.

Brittany 20:02
Okay, you're in a public platform, right?

Scott Benner 20:04
So this is one of the things about life that I disliked the most. I've brought this up before, I hate being in a space with another person. And they're lying. And I know they're lying. And they know they're lying, because everything feels like a huge waste of time when that happens to me. So I don't want to waste your time. I don't want the people listening to waste their time, like either, you know, I don't know, either either dive headfirst into the pool without water or take the time to fill it up and splash around it the way you're supposed to. I don't know. Like you don't you mean? Like so? Yeah, do or do not? I don't care. Yeah. I can't save all of you. You're gonna listen to you're not going to I don't know what to say. So okay, so you're. So you're coming up through that time? Did you go to college?

Brittany 20:55
I did. Did. I went to.

I started at a college right in the middle of the city, and absolutely hated it. And then ended up going to the State College that my parents had been asking you to go to for five years anyway. But I decided to go for that one semester just to prove myself and then I was like, Okay, I'll go to State College.

Scott Benner 21:19
Yes, this sucks. Just like everybody said it was going to.

Brittany 21:22
It's exactly what I thought it would not be. But yeah, so then I went to a school that was 20 minutes away from home. Which is why I didn't want to go to it in the first place. But I actually ended up having a great experience there. So yeah, no regrets.

Scott Benner 21:37
The idea of moving away from home for college is just so that it feels like you're doing something right. Yeah, yeah,

Brittany 21:44
exactly. It feels like it had to be, you know, in the city,

Scott Benner 21:47
cosmopolitan maybe?

How did you take care of yourself in college?

Brittany 22:01
I think I was, you know, lying to myself, like I just did enough to get by, I don't think I Well, first, I should preface this with like, I did not Pre-Bolus until two years ago, when I started listening to your podcast. So that I think was the majority of my, my lack of care, I guess I just, I would take insulin way after eating. So I'd be covering high. And I would take a lot, you know, be arranged Bolus or not would come shooting back down. And I would treat my low with a lot more carbs, I needed to come back up. And sometimes I'd be somewhere in the middle. But looking back, I don't know if I would change that. Like, I still was able to do a lot of amazing things in college or that like diabetes stop me. And I think that was just like, that was the care that I needed to be having. And the time in my life.

Scott Benner 23:04
I want to understand that better, because it feels like you're arguing with yourself. But then at the end, I think you're making a point, but I want to make sure I understand all of it. Does that make sense? What I just said, okay, yeah, so because it feels it felt like in the first two thirds of what you said it felt like what you said was, well, I didn't know to Pre-Bolus I didn't know I was gonna get super high. And then I would need a whole bunch of insulin just to kill that high. But then I came tumbling down again and had to catch it with a bunch of food, which all sounds like a lot of work to me. But then you said but I don't think I would change it even though you know better now. So can you not put yourself in that position? With what you know now and say, Oh, that would have been better if I would have done it like that. Like why do you think it would have been Why do you think the trade off was okay?

Brittany 23:55
I have the trade off was okay, because I really think I truly believe that it has led me to where I need to be now. Like, especially being pregnant and going through all this with my diabetes. Like, this is the care that I'm you know, my agency is in the low fives right now being pregnant. And it's been extremely challenging, but also really rewarding. And this is the care that I need right now. After I am not pregnant anymore, I will try to always have an agency in the sixes that I just I look at it as like certain times in my life. That was the care that I was I was using to get by with what I did. And I'm okay with that.

Scott Benner 24:45
What do you gain by not having a five five a one C after the baby?

Brittany 24:54
I think again, for me personally, a little more men dole stability or flexibility and the ability to just, you know, prioritize some other things. Like, if I don't get every Pre-Bolus, or I don't get every overnight in the 191 100 range, I'm going to be okay with that. I just think that and that's how I kind of got through my life in college was like, I had some other priorities, and sometimes my diabetes was on the backburner. And either not I might sound crazy, but I was okay with that. No,

Scott Benner 25:36
Brittany, I'm asking, and I appreciate you being so honest about it. Because this is one of, to me, one of the most fascinating conversations that I see adult type ones have with each other, this idea of, I trade a little bit of this for a little bit of that. And I don't not understand it. I'm just trying to just try to dig into it more so that I can get it because you look at maybe it's just personality, right? Like, I'll just use Jenny as an example, since you listen to the podcast, like Jenny eats a certain way, she manages her blood sugar a certain way she gets, you know, she's not ultra low carb or anything like that. And still has fairly tight tolerances that she maintains most of the time. And she still has two kids and a house and a husband and a job and she goes running and plays with her children. And she seems happy. So I'm not certain. I'm not gonna I mean, like, I don't Yeah,

Brittany 26:32
no, I, I think it's interesting too. And I have friends with diabetes. And just a few months ago, I was at an event with them. And, you know, I was managing diabetes, again, was at the forefront of my mind during this event. And I noticed and heard like, a lot of their like, alarms going off or, you know, they their blood sugar's were not nearly in the range that mine were. And that kind of took me by surprise, because I hadn't been around them in a while. And I've been managing an agency and the low fives and I was like, wow, you know, I would hate to be that number. Or, I would hate to hear that alarm right now at this event, but it didn't appear to be bothering them. And I've been in their shoes. So you know, in that moment, the event was the priority and their blood sugar's are just doing what they were doing. So they weren't completely ignoring it.

Scott Benner 27:27
Yeah. So is that a lack of bandwidth?

Unknown Speaker 27:32
I don't What do you mean, I don't

Scott Benner 27:34
understand why you can't Bolus at the event.

Brittany 27:37
Like it see where Bolus thing but they weren't. It was like an event where we were eating the whole time, it was a wedding. So I was like, you know, going into the wedding, okay, I'm gonna take some insulin here, I'm gonna do this. I'm not gonna be dancing later. Let me do this Temp Basal. Like I had all these things running through my mind, I was actively doing it. And I kind of saw that they were more, you know, taking their Bolus, I saw them taking insulin. But at the same time, I heard a lot of alarms going off. And this and that happening. Yeah. And it took me by surprise, but then I was like, you know, if I wasn't like, if I wasn't pregnant, or these weren't my goals, I guess at the time would I be? I don't know, it's made me reflect a lot on different I guess, seasons, or chapters or goals that I've had at the time, what they were, and how my control has been. And that might completely change after my pregnancy. I don't know. But I'm just saying now that I've been a person that managed in the seven eighths of England see, and the habits that caused me to get there versus now. I think for my mental health, I will, I will try to be somewhere in the sixes.

Scott Benner 28:55
Yeah. Okay. I mean, I think that's completely reasonable. By the way, I'm not judging the the target. I'm just trying to understand the process. Those other people you were with, can I ask you? Do they have children?

Unknown Speaker 29:08
They don't do where they

Brittany 29:10
know. And one of the first in the group of my close friends of diabetes, to have children and, and I know that they've been asking me a lot of questions and just kind of amazed at what I've been able to do because I think we all have had similar management being diagnosed around, you know, the early 2000s. And

Scott Benner 29:33
so you know, the thing the thing you know, that they don't know is what? Maybe it's not a thing, you know, maybe it's a feeling you have

Brittany 29:44
I guess it's just the deeper understanding of insulin. All the variables that can affect you.

Scott Benner 29:52
So were you managing this way prior to being pregnant?

Brittany 29:57
I had an appointment with mine chronologist in November of 2021, and that was my first appointment with an adult endocrinologist and they asked me, you know, do you plan on having a family in the next year? And I was getting married in June? And I said, Yeah, I would like to, you know, it's something I've started to think about. But, you know, even though I wasn't always managing the way that I am today, I still like, I never let diabetes stop me from doing what I would consider some pretty impressive things. But pregnancy was always one that I was really, really intimidated by, like, I knew my agency was not where it needed to be. And I wondered, how am I going to get it there? So at this appointment, she completely discouraged me. And she essentially just told me the agency that I would need, you know, ideally under 6.5, before conceiving, and then under six during the pregnancy, but gave me no like, and by the way, you did XYZ. Yeah. And I had had the lowest aylen See, at that appointment, I got money once you know the 6.7. And that's entirely because of control IQ. So control IQ, which I had in April of 2020 really did change my life. And I think it opened the door for me seeing a different lens of management. So yeah, I left that appointment in tears. I was like, totally distraught.

Scott Benner 31:34
Because you couldn't have a baby is what it felt like,

Brittany 31:37
essentially. Yeah, it's Yeah. I just thought, you know, this is the lowest state and with control, like he was a little more motivated, you know, and I was kind of curious, like, Oh, I see it's giving me an automatic correction, or it shutting off my Basal here. Like, let me take a closer look at this, like, why is it doing that? And so I felt like I had the best control, I felt like I, you know, was just giving it my all, and I still had the 6.7. And that was something I previously would have been so proud of. But at this appointment, I was like, if this is my best, and I need to get even lower and have a baby, I'm never gonna have a baby.

Scott Benner 32:16
Did that eventually become motivating to you that interaction? Or was it always an impediment?

Brittany 32:24
I think for a month, I kind of wallowed in self pity. Just, you know, still kind of like hovering at that 6.7. I started using Dexcom, clarity and really looking and just being like, you know, I'm trying, I'm trying, but I just wasn't trying new strategies that helped me get to where I am today. So probably in like, the after the New Year, I said to myself, you know, well, let me just try a small goal. Let me see if I can get to 6.5. And that's how I stumbled on to your podcast, and I don't want to get emotional. But I truly don't know if I would be pregnant today, if I hadn't learned some of the skills that I've learned on here.

Scott Benner 33:05
Brittany, is this the moment?

Brittany 33:08
Where I start crying? No, were

Scott Benner 33:09
you telling me you're gonna name the baby Scott? Is this? Is this sick? Because I don't have any fanfare, music or anything to play? But if this is it, let's take a break. And I'll get to like trumpets or something. Now, is it a girl? It's a girl, isn't it? Brittany?

Brittany 33:25
I actually don't know. I'm not finding out what

Scott Benner 33:28
I would say to a guy. A freaking podcast is haranguing me about naming my baby after I'm heated. I mean, I can't break your heart after that. No, it's okay. So the control IQ is not as valuable as the podcast. Is that what you're saying? Because I would like that on a t shirt.

Brittany 33:45
No, I think that you need to still know how No, of course, yeah. Insulin works to use it. Like like bricks. I got my ANC notice 6.7 with Ctrl Q, which is fantastic. And I'll be happy to be using Ctrl Q after my pregnancy. Oh,

Scott Benner 34:02
I think the beauty of that is that you started seeing it do stuff and you're like, I wouldn't have given myself insulin just now. What the heck's going on? And you exactly you look at it, you've heard me say it, right, like watching loop work. Like it leveled me up. Like, I was already doing really good. And I knew what I was doing. And then I watched the algorithm work. And I was like, Oh, I do that. Is that why I'm doing that? You know what I mean? Like, like, oh, like it gave me context for some of the things I had figured out to do. But maybe 100% didn't know why I was doing it all the time. It's incredible. Yeah, I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. Did you see how I stopped you from crying? People will think that I gave myself credit for something but really what I did was I saved you from crying. You're welcome. Because your union your freaking car. And I don't get people looking over going. Hey, hey, 911 Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Right. But there's a pregnant lady in the car. She bought her eyes out and she's on the phone. I think you Need to go helper? Although that would be great podcast if the cops came. Unless they, unless they take. That'd be terrible. So terrible but I mean, if you were okay, in the base you

Brittany 35:15
just apply to us.

Scott Benner 35:17
Maybe it's just a good thing to for social media when I'm like, Hey, on this episode of the podcast Brittany gets tased in her car. She's pregnant by the way. Make sure you listen. So you said you said a couple of things. One of them I'm most focused on. You said the thing that everyone says that I don't understand. I didn't let diabetes stop me. What that sounds like to me, and I know there's more context to it. Because this is why I like people to understand it. It's like saying to me, I knew if I walked into the reactor, I was going to get radiation poisoning and quickly die. But I didn't let that stop me. I did it anyway. That's how it feels to me. Like, like, like, when I think of it didn't stop me. I think of Jenny. I think of my one C is in the low isn't the fives and I went running. I didn't let diabetes stop me. That phrase makes total sense to me. I was running around with an eight a one C, but I still went to Bonnaroo. I didn't let diabetes stop me. Sounds to me, like I ignored diabetes to go to Bonnaroo. And so but, but there's a there's a I don't I'm not judging it. There's a kernel of a reason in there. There's gotta be a reason why so many people say it the way they say it. And I'm gonna keep asking this question until someone satisfies me with an answer. And you might be that person today, Brittany, so no pressure. But what does that mean to you that you had health outcomes that you knew? Well, excuse me, health outcomes that I think you knew weren't great, but you were ignoring so that you could go do a thing? So you could say diabetes? were stopping? What does that all mean? Tell me, please.

Brittany 37:05
I think that means to me. So I think this also loops back to the question we were talking about earlier. I didn't know what I didn't know, you know, 10 years ago. So to me, living with diabetes was a lot of roller coaster blood sugars, severe lows, that would scare me sometimes. You know, hours of stubborn highs, not having my pump supplies. I needed them. You know, that's what it was to me.

Scott Benner 37:36
And even though those things happened, you didn't give up? Exactly. Okay. That makes complete sense to me. I wish people would just rephrase the sentence that makes that I completely understand.

Brittany 37:49
Yeah, and and now that I know, and that's what I kind of meant earlier, like I and I'm still proud of myself from those times, where like, I had these like, terrible blood sugars or just inconsistencies that my management and I just kept pushing through. And it didn't, it really didn't stop me like I did. You know, 100 mile bike rides for junior. In college, I traveled to an island off of Africa, I went to Portugal, I went to Belize on all these service trips. And my parents were just like, Yeah, you got this like, and I, you know, would just bring I needed to bring and I got through each of these huge things without really thinking too much of it. Like I just let diabetes left to the side. And I just kept on pushing through.

Scott Benner 38:44
Well, thank you for explaining it to me that way. Because that's beautiful, and almost made me cry. Like that. I understand. I yeah, I the intent of the phrase is lost on me sometimes, like I didn't let it stop me. I think that's because I don't have diabetes, honestly. So I think if I had it, I would understand that better. You know what I mean? Yeah, just just the,

Brittany 39:06
there's definitely an understanding of when you actually have it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 39:09
Because I just interviewed somebody the other day who's had five different transplants and they said, diabetes never stopped me. And I was like, it sounds like it's stopping you. You don't I mean, like, it's so. But I take it it's more of a it's more of an intellectual exercise. The idea of it's not stopping me.

Brittany 39:29
Yeah. And I think because of like the age I was diagnosed, how like soon I took diabetes into my own independence. Yeah. And still what I was able to do throughout my life, and I think when I think back on those times, like, wow, I had diabetes, then like, just doesn't seem like I did.

Scott Benner 39:50
You were running drugs off an island in Africa. What you were doing, right?

Brittany 39:56
No, I was doing service and teaching students

Scott Benner 39:59
exactly. code for slavery. Were you were you transporting people? I don't know what you were doing. You were really you were helping people? Yes. Oh, wait a minute, but you're from Boston. You're not it. I have to get this contradictory. I'm not You're not a Mormon. Oh my God. Are you Catholic?

Brittany 40:20
was raised Catholic. Ah, a mission?

Scott Benner 40:23
Sounds like you Oh, yeah. Okay. You want to make sure Jesus would let you? Is he gonna let you in? Did you? Did you get them? Do you get the nod? Fingers crossed.

My mother in law, my what my wife said all growing up. My mother in law would do something that she clearly didn't want to do. But that was a good thing. And that she was like, clearly, like, trying to, like get points on the ledger. Like, like, I'm gonna get into heaven for this one. Anyway, Catholicism is great at making people do things they don't want to do. They're nice, which I think is terrific. And so did you want to do this thing? Why are you so nice? She's dead. We knew it was gonna happen. Brittany, did they taze you? Brittany? Brittany, tell them tell them you've done nothing wrong. Obviously we've lost the connection Hold on one second.

Unknown Speaker 41:28
Well

Scott Benner 41:34
when she pops back on I really want her to go It's Britney bitch. But I don't think she's going to

Unknown Speaker 41:42
she's not coming back.

Scott Benner 41:45
Do you think do you think her phone went dead? I'm gonna texter.

Unknown Speaker 41:55
Did your water break?

Scott Benner 41:58
Did you have to pay? That's better

Unknown Speaker 42:05
She's not answering Hmm.

Unknown Speaker 42:22
My best guess is that her phone died as she was just gone. And now she's not answering. super interesting.

Scott Benner 42:36
Maybe one of those kids get out of the trunk

Unknown Speaker 42:39
accosted her.

Scott Benner 42:42
Like I'd have happened. That's probably what happened. Now that we're thinking about it. One of the children that she stuffed into her trunk so that she could be on a podcast, very irresponsible. escaped from the trunk. Probably that little hatch they give you in the back. Also, there's a like a latch that you can get out of. I don't know if you guys ever heard there was Oh my god. There was a girl named Brittany that was on the podcast one time who was kidnapped in the back and put in a trunk of her own car.

Unknown Speaker 43:13
That this is something Hold on a second.

Scott Benner 43:19
I'm looking that up right now. While we wait for Brittany? Hoopoe. I'm not gonna lie, it could be that I'm googling juicebox kidnapping. Episode 102 Brittany Diggs was abducted and escaped. I can't believe oh, here comes Brittany.

Unknown Speaker 43:46
Hold on. Hey. Hi.

Scott Benner 43:50
So did one of those kids get out of the trunk and jump? You know, that was

Brittany 43:55
actually your fault? Because my phone overheated? Being on the dashboard?

Unknown Speaker 44:00
How was that possible? Aren't you in Boston? Oh, no,

Brittany 44:02
I just lost you in temperature. The phone is too hot. It needs to re boot. Wait, are you terrible? First

Scott Benner 44:09
of all, saying my fault seems I mean, in this day and age, we don't blame people for things. Okay, Brittany. All right. Try to be a little more woke than that if you could. And but what happened? What state are you in?

Unknown Speaker 44:23
I'm in Massachusetts, isn't it?

Scott Benner 44:25
12 degrees there?

Brittany 44:26
Well, it's the fall. So it starts off as 30 in the morning and then it gets to like ad for like two hours a day. And that comes back to

Scott Benner 44:35
Brittany sweetheart, do you need a new phone? Is this do you want to do one of those things where people send money? What is this called? I can't think of what they're called. But I'm glad you're okay. I at first. I was worried you were tased by the police. And then I realized was much less exciting than that. Yeah, I realized you were Irish Catholic and in Boston, so you're probably safe. So yeah, Okay, well, I'm glad you're back. I don't know where we were because I did so much talking while you were gone trying to imagine what happened to you by the way. During my, my imagination period, I realized that a woman named Brittany was on the podcast years ago. She, she had been kidnapped, put in her the trunk of her own vehicle. And she used the light from the screen from her insulin pump to get out of the trunk.

Brittany 45:30
Oh, my that's my worst nightmare. And her

Scott Benner 45:33
name was Britney. Yeah, Brittany, that's right. People with diabetes get kidnapped. And I'm just kidding. You're so literally my worst. How was that your worst nightmare? It's not freezing to death. Because that would be mine. If I lived there. No. Well, wait, you seriously have a concern about this?

Brittany 45:52
I do. I don't know if it's like my, my past life or something. But I like always been afraid of getting kidnapped. And then I watched that movie, like when a stranger calls. Right at the peak of like my early babysitting years. And every time I babysat I was just like paranoid like,

Scott Benner 46:10
maybe this is karma. Because you traffic those people and outside of Africa. Exactly. Could be that too. You know what you were doing? What comes around goes around? Exactly. It's exactly what comes around goes around. Oh my god. There's no way to know if people understand my sarcasm. You understand Brittany? Perhaps because you're from Boston. That, um, my personality, I have dialed down to like, 30%. So I can make this podcast.

Brittany 46:38
Yeah, I get the vibe that listening to you ultimate days. Yeah.

Scott Benner 46:42
Yeah, I'm literally chaining myself down just to give enough humor so that the normal person can be amused, because yeah, if I were to give the whole thing, I think three people that listen to this. Like, this horrible man seems to know how to Bolus but I don't I can't make it through the joking about about human trafficking. So anyway, all right. So by the way, which is on the rise and not a joke, did you know that?

Brittany 47:11
I did. My husband's actually a pilot, so

Scott Benner 47:13
Oh, so he traffics people to like you.

Brittany 47:17
Yeah, it's a team. It's a team.

Scott Benner 47:20
So you lower the man with the big Irish smile. And then he sells them to people for transformers that he was playing. Oh, what a family business printing and we call this teaching. I see what you're saying.

Unknown Speaker 47:30
Okay, special education. Sixth grade.

Scott Benner 47:33
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a good cover for what you're doing. You wouldn't want to put it on your business card. I don't imagine. So, alright, anyway, it's horrifying that this happens in the world. And I don't mean to make light of it. Just you said an island. And I was like, oh, people must go to islands to take people. That's where my stupid.

Brittany 47:52
I was gonna say Cape Verde, which is where I went, but I don't know if people would know that.

Scott Benner 47:56
Oh, that's a lovely place. Yeah, had you said that I would have gone in a completely different direction, I would have been like, Oh, you're just there lounging around pretending to help people in the sun. I see what you're doing, Brittany. So let me go back to my train of thought here, which is, I'm going back to the wedding you were at recently, and how your, your your other diabetes friends were maybe had alarms that were going off and things were happening that weren't happening to you. I just think it's responsibility. I, you got married. So now you don't want to let another person down. Then you had a baby. And now you realize that baby's going to be alive forever, and you're gonna have to take care of it. Yeah, so you take care of yourself, so that you can take care of others?

Brittany 48:48
Yeah, you're talking about me in particular?

Scott Benner 48:50
Yeah. Brittany's like, Yeah, well, are we still talking about my husband? I don't. Or is this the real conversation again? I'm sorry, God.

Brittany 49:00
Sam is my husband. I don't mind saying his name. And he was, you know, we, we met in college. So there were many times where he saw me having terrible lows. And the middle of the night after drinking, or whatever we were doing. And I don't know, like, he's seen me through all these different phases to with my diabetes. And I have felt his support and every different one, but I guess I do feel a responsibility now.

Scott Benner 49:34
Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things that as you get, I can't believe I'm saying this. I sound like somebody's dad. I am somebody's that. But as you get as you get older, you start to get more perspective. And you recognize like my wife has COVID right now. It's, it's French COVID Because she went to Paris for work and then came home and had COVID So I'm calling I'm calling it French COVID Though I don't imagine there's much difference and And she's pretty sick. And she's like, as soon as we realize she was sick, my son and I were like, Get upstairs, get away from us get away. She's like, but we're like, shut up, walk away from us. Go go, we'll bring you things. Then we brought her cleaning supplies so she could clean the bedroom. We're like, hey, while you're up here, why don't you put these clothes away? But when she needs something, like, I just go right in there. Like, she's like, don't come in. And I'm like, No, you need this. I'll come in. It's, it's that. It's a weird thing that happens if she and I were dating. I'd be like, Why don't you call me when you feel better?

I'm sorry, in college drinking or whatever we were doing. That's a quote. What? What else were we doing in college?

Brittany 50:49
I don't know. Staying up till 4am Eating crappy pizza.

Scott Benner 50:55
getting low.

Brittany 50:58
Yeah, just I don't even want to. I mean, I guess I did have duck Scott. I don't know if I had that big. The first one in college. Still the oval like I don't want to know what my blood sugar's were then.

Scott Benner 51:12
Okay, so you weren't paying attention that I got it. Because you were trying to hang out with this boy. Yeah,

Brittany 51:17
I was paying. I was paying attention enough. And I don't want to sound dark. But I was paying attention enough to survive to wake up the next day.

Scott Benner 51:26
And that was on purpose.

Brittany 51:30
I guess so I guess I prioritize like being with my friends and having a social life and having quote unquote, fun. Over because, you know, I'm pregnant right now. But like, I think it takes a certain amount of effort. Even if you are like an insulin mastermind. To get an A one C in the fives. I think you have to be trying and I definitely did not want to be trying at that. At that time in my life. Yeah.

Scott Benner 51:57
No, I'm glad you said that. That's kind of one of the things I was hoping you would get to I think you're 100%. Right. Like there's a there is a lot of effort that goes into keeping a one save that low, without being low all the time are high.

Brittany 52:10
Exactly. And mentally, too. And like, I just was living my life. I was doing my thing. Like, I didn't want to be having diabetes in my mind more than okay, just a I'll take insulin, okay, I'm low. I'll eat something.

Scott Benner 52:26
Okay. All right. Well, that's helpful. Also, you're scaring the hell out of countless 10s of 1000s of people right now whose children are gonna go to college one day. They're like, wait,

Brittany 52:38
I know. I feel terrible about that. Because I'm part of your Facebook group that I see the anxious parents.

Scott Benner 52:44
No, you should not feel the truth. Don't don't feel terrible about that. Listen, Arden's been in college for a month, Brittany. And I know there's been gaps of time where I'm like, Hey, you should Bolus, hey, change your pump. The pumps shot, change it now. It's fine. It's not changed it. I'll do it later. Yeah. Three hours later, our new blood sugar has been 200 for three hours. I know I'm about to change my pump. I'm really busy. I'm like, okay, but it really only takes three minutes to change pump, we could have done it three hours ago. And what I've realized is that this is one of these things that I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna get accomplished with a crowbar like, right, like, I'm not gonna beat her over the head and get her to do this. I have to, I just have to be there at the right moments to be like, Hey, this is what a bad pod site looks like, change your pump. And then at the end of the day, say, I'm glad you changed it. See how quickly your blood sugar came back down? I think we could have found these five minutes three hours ago. Yeah, next time and try to do that. I'm just trying to nudge

Brittany 53:48
I'm glad that you said that. Like it's three minutes, your time. And I so relate to that, like in the big picture. It really is three minutes of your time. But mentally I think living with diabetes, it takes up more space on that. Yeah. And I think that's what I always tried to find a balance of,

Scott Benner 54:06
is it because it takes you out of what you're doing and then makes you think I have diabetes? And I have to put this thing on now. And like is that

Brittany 54:12
probably I don't even know if I think I think it's so deep in my whatever my like core that I don't think I'm actually thinking that but it must be that. It's like, oh, I have this thing where I need to change this to stay alive.

Scott Benner 54:29
It's like my dogs. This morning. I wanted to get into the shower. And I woke up and I thought, Oh, I'm going to sneak into the shower, and then I'll go take the dogs out. And then I'll go interview Brittany. And I was in the breast room bathroom. I guess in your own house you call the bathroom, but when you're somewhere else, it's a restaurant. That doesn't make any sense does it? Oh, I guess you can't play Eve in a restroom.

Speaker 3 54:52
All right. No, hopefully not. Well,

Scott Benner 54:55
I mean, I guess unless you're a truck driver or a lady of the evening or a man of the evening. because sometimes you gotta wash your junk off, I would imagine between, don't you think? Yeah. Okay. So anyway, I was in the bathroom, and the dog barks. And the bark is like, I have to go outside. And I'm old. And if you don't come down here, I will pee on something. And I'm like, okay, so I redress myself, go downstairs, let the dogs out, look at them and go, alright, I'll be back when I get done talking to Brittany. And I go back upstairs and take a shower. I don't imagine that that took more than five minutes. But I was irritated by the time I got back upstairs. Yeah, and I'm wondering if that's not a similar situation, where you're just like, it's only gonna take me five minutes to do this. But I just don't want to not right now. It doesn't fit here. Maybe.

Brittany 55:40
Exactly. And then those five minutes are happening every what? If you change your site every three days? I arguably don't. But that's all these minutes of your life are adding up. Right? You know, but now you've been taking insulin,

Scott Benner 55:54
but you're doing those things. Now, while you're pregnant. And you're still working. It's not like you're sitting at home. So. So now, is there a difference?

Brittany 56:06
Um, I think it has been an adjustment because I took the whole summer off. I actually babysit for a girl that has type one diabetes, She's five years old, and her family is the family that introduced me to your podcast hi to them. Yes, they listen, they will be listening. And

Scott Benner 56:29
you know, they're gonna be up separately to learn. Brittany, do you think they're gonna be upset to learn that you're involved in human trafficking? Very much, probably going to lose your job. Yeah, for sure. Okay, I'm sorry, I cut you off. Because I was so delighted by my thought you're you go ahead.

Brittany 56:46
So most of the summer was either being off, like really focusing on my diabetes every day, like it was a full time job. Or babysitting her, which was, I'm also focusing on her diabetes. So coming back to work and doing what I have been doing now for my seventh year teaching. I don't know it might be. And it is harder, I had to adjust. It's not impossible, when it's totally doable. And that will be my big message to anyone that wants to have a type one pregnancy or just to get their agency lower. But it is an adjustment, especially when you've been living your life in a certain way for so many years. And it hasn't really bothered you. It's it's hard to make that transition from living side by side to really prioritizing it.

Scott Benner 57:38
So there was a lot of value in you making time for yourself to figure out how you were going to do this.

Brittany 57:44
Yes. Okay. 100 worth.

Unknown Speaker 57:47
Interesting, very interesting, actually.

Scott Benner 57:49
Well, Brittany, I'm so sorry to tell you we're up on an hour, and I'm worried that you have to go back to work.

Brittany 57:54
Yeah, it's it's coming up in that time. So sorry.

Scott Benner 57:56
And we wasted all that time with your overheating phone. No, I'm sorry. Oh, that's my fault, as you pointed out. And just real quickly, there's no way that baby's going to be named Scott. Right. I don't think so. Yeah, it's okay. Because, because it's a name. Is that right?

Brittany 58:14
I mean, I think naming a child is arguably one of the hardest things we'll ever do. I feel like people do it. So like, I don't know, effortlessly. But to my husband nights seems like the biggest deal ever, right? Why? There's no name picked out for either boy or girl. So we might be naming them in the hospital as we exit.

Scott Benner 58:33
That'll be fun, too. Don't worry. I wish I wish you a ton of luck. Congratulations on the baby and your and your new family and, and I really appreciate Thank you, sir. I know we messed around a lot. But your your core message is really strong. And, and I appreciate you sharing it here. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure. It really is.

A huge thanks to Brittany for coming on the show and sharing her story. And of course, I want to thank you all for listening. I haven't said this in a while but you support the show in a way that is just magical. Today was the first day of summer and the fifth most popular day in the history of the podcast. It is completely because of the way you all listen, subscribe, follow and share. Thank you so much. I don't really have anything else to say tonight. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Thanks again for listening