+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends Hello, and welcome to Episode 547 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, my guest is Nidia. And she is the mother of a child with Type One Diabetes, who also has ADHD. We're going to talk about that, and a lot more this conversation as I'm thinking back on it now, I think involve Japan. Moving was a lot happening. I hope you enjoy it. I've made the Edit to this episode like three weeks ago. So at this very moment, as I'm putting together 12 episodes in a row so that I can go on that even vacation going away for the weekend to go to a wedding. I'm just trying to get ahead. Everything's running together on the a little bit. I apologize for that. But nidia was terrific that I remember I remember having a really warm and wonderful conversation with her. And I hope that while you're listening, you remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you through the generous support of touched by type one, learn more about them at touched by type one.org or on their Facebook page, or Instagram. Do you remember when PBS used to do that, like today's programming is brought to you through the generous support of our sponsors, and then they would list them off and you could buy an umbrella or something like that. I should start doing that at sounded very official. Anyway, one other thing before I get you to the show, there are a number of people who support me in the work I do through buy me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast. And there were a number of people that came in this week to buy me a cup of coffee. But I'm here to list the ones who became members. Someone who used the name someone. Sue Yoli. Sarah, Amy, Steven. Connie, Anna. Laura marinda. Melanie, another someone. Corey, Jessica. Nancy, Sue Shannon, Marilyn, Alyssa laryssa, Melissa, Leah blue, Julia, Julie, Grace, Daniel, Jennifer. And Jeanette. Thank you so much, everyone. That is just very kind of you. And I really appreciate it. Buy me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast.

Nidia 2:49
I was like nervous. Now I get why people get nervous because you're now like a celebrity.

Scott Benner 2:56
That's silly. You realize. Yeah, for the type one diabetic community, you're like a celebrity or like, I will, psycho if this makes you feel better. I woke up this morning, late. So I'm still sitting here in a pair of sweat pants, like, excited to take a shower after you and I are finished.

Nidia 3:15
You know, I thought that was the case. I'm like, I'm sure because you're so you've done this for so many years. Yeah, yeah, he's

Unknown Speaker 3:22
probably still asleep.

Scott Benner 3:23
I'm not prepping for like, I've been up for 45 minutes. Don't get me wrong, but like I took the dogs out and fed them. And, you know, like, that's pretty much it. And now we'll do this. I the idea that there's any celebrity attached to this is is patently ridiculous. Don't worry. All right, fine. So you don't take it? No, no, I appreciate it. I really don't. But it just you don't need to be. You know, it's funny. You don't need to be nervous and yet, okay. I'm always nervous. So I don't know what to say about that. Go ahead whenever you're ready.

Nidia 3:55
My name is Nidia. And for the purposes of your podcast. I am the mother of an 11 year old type one diabetic. I I'll use his name. His name is Santiago. And we've been added for almost like three and a half years almost 40. This is like we're starting our fourth year. It'll be his fourth year in August. So he was diagnosed august of 2017.

Scott Benner 4:29
When he was like seven ish. Yeah, I think he was eight. He was he eight? Yeah, he'll be 12 this year. I like it when you can't remember the dates anymore. I know. Yeah. I had to think about it. My wife's like remember. We're talking about when Arden was diagnosed and and she looked at me She's like, you don't know the date. Right. As a guy. I have no idea. I said I don't I know it's in August.

Nidia 4:55
So you don't know the date. I know the date. August 24 the 24th is when we went to the hospital August 24,

Scott Benner 5:02
is when you went to the hospital. I wonder if Arden was the 22nd. Baby. Or if I'm remembering the 22nd because that's her birthday. There's no way she's diagnosed on the same day as her birth. You said a couple weeks after her second birthday. I think I remember that. Yes. 100%. So she's the she was born. July 22. So a few weeks later at 14 days, I don't know for you, you were very literal when I said a couple of weeks. Okay, sorry. Yeah, you're right, August sometime. Yeah. When you thought when I say a couple of weeks, what you should infer from that is I don't remember the Exactly. Okay. Okay, I like that. You're like fewest three, Scott, a couple is two and dammit. 14 days after the 22nd. It's a bit harder.

Nidia 5:49
I'm a math person. I'm actually a math teacher. So you say a couple weeks? I'm like 14 days.

Scott Benner 5:58
Gotcha. I didn't ask me. I have to be honest with you. I'm going to I'm going on my blog. Now. Let's see if I can figure it out. Go ahead. I'm scrolling. It's a very well written diagnosis story. I should write my own. Before I forget, the more details and I already have the details will leave you well. There you go. I did not put the date in. I know I launched the blog in 2007. was the year after what I have had the foresight to do it on the exact day.

Unknown Speaker 6:40
Probably

Scott Benner 6:42
probably a lot of planning, doesn't it? Okay, so Santiago's is, tell me a little bit about his diagnosis, please.

Nidia 6:53
Okay, so let me take you way back. So we're a military family.

And we were stationed in Okinawa, Japan, from 2013, no, 14, sorry. 2017. Yes, that's three years. And that was really tough for me, because we had been on the west coast in California for 17 years, you know, like I had never moved, I didn't want to move. And I, I hated the idea of being overseas because I was away from my family even more. I'm originally from El Paso, Texas. And so, you know, we were in San Diego. So that's not too far. It's a 12 hour drive. And I just hated that idea. But Well, too bad military, you go or he goes alone, and I wasn't gonna let that happen. Not with three kids by you know, I had, we had three kids at that time. So we left were there. And the last year was school year 2016 through 2017. My mom gets sick. And so I mean, she's always had health problems and stuff. And, but this time, it was a different you know, she lost weight. She couldn't eat, she was in pain. She cry on the phone with me all the time. And you know, I was I was away in Okinawa, she was in Texas, and I, that's what I feared the most, you know, from going to Okinawa, something would happen and it did the last year. And so she got sick, she got diagnosed, I flew over because she was gonna have a procedure done in like, late November. So we get to, well, I get I, by that time, I had had my fourth child, which is a little girl, I had three boys. And I finally had a little girl. So I took her with me and I left my three boys behind. And I was supposed to only be there for the operation. We were thinking it was just a tumor. But you know, we find out it's cancer stage four. And so, gosh, I always get emotional. Sorry.

Scott Benner 9:24
No, it's fine. I didn't know this was gonna happen. Like, as you started talking, I was like, what's about to happen here?

Nidia 9:32
So what I always do, you know, and I, and I, I like to cry it out because it just it's always on the back of my mind. It's always it's something that you know, it's like the grief that you always carry that just kind of pops up. Yeah, and it's okay. I'm okay with that. I'm okay crying. And I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable, but I'm okay. crying. Oh,

Scott Benner 9:57
don't worry. I'll be crying by the time we're done. So let me just do one thing you took your daughter because she was little. Yeah. Where the boys sort of old enough this they were their father was at the idea.

Nidia 10:10
Yeah, kind of my youngest was three I think at that time. Let me see. Yeah, he was three because he was born in 2013. So he was three. But he went to daycare, because I, I was online teaching and stuff. And, and I would always take him to daycare because I didn't have time to him and a little, my little girl, I would always take them to daycare because I didn't have time to do online school. And it's not like I'm teaching, but I'm grading papers, and I'm replying to emails, and I couldn't do it with them being at home. So they always went to daycare. So that was set up nicely for my husband, for him to take care of that three year old because it was an all day daycare. So I took my little girl with me and it was only supposed to be two weeks. So find out you know, she has cancer and she went through her operation. She was in the rehab, and she begged me, you know, just come back and, and I said, Okay, I'm staying. And so, and my mother in law was also like, yeah, you should stay. And I said, Okay, well, I'm staying indefinitely. So I ended up staying from November all the way to April. Yeah, so that was it was so tough on me. I mean, me emotionally and the kids obviously, but me because I'd have these dreams of that I lose my kids. Like, I just went to the park and I left them there and I left and you know, and I was because I left my three year old because he you know, the other ones, they can find their way home, the three year old. Ah, that hurts so bad. Anyway, back to the point,

Scott Benner 11:49
packaging the three year old up and shipping them to you that I think should have a couple holes in the side of the box that kids probably going to be fine. As long as you write handled with care on the side of it. I've always had the boxes that are marked like that always show up in my house very, very well. Maybe that that would have helped you some of my pain, but you know that I really understand. You know, obviously you just felt like you abandoned your daughter. And and we know you didn't buy it. That's how it was striking you. And you're describing five months or so right that you were gone a long time. It is Yeah. And I was were you caring for your mom, or were you just there supportive? I

Nidia 12:31
was no, I was helping my dad because it's only my dad. Help. I was helping him take care of her with whatever you need. Because you know, he's a man. And I mean, God bless him. He's wonderful. And I love him. He's, he took care of her so well. But I was there to also emotionally help him go through this, you know, and help each other go through this and just, you know, taking care of my mom's needs whenever she needed to be based. Or I mean, he did it too. Don't get me wrong, but

Scott Benner 13:07
it gets so tiring. And he's probably older too. How old was your mom? Yes. She was 70 370. My gosh. And your father similar age? Yes. He's seven. He was 75. Yeah, he's two years older than okay. Yeah. So help. Help is definitely needed.

Nidia 13:23
Yeah. And and, you know, I have two other brothers, but my younger one, he's got his own family and the older one. He's a lost soul. You know, he's like, alcohol drugs. I mean, that's a whole different story. Yeah, exactly. We were not gonna ask him for help. In fact, he was more damage, you know, then help so. So I was there. And and I'm the only girl in the family and it's kind of expected. I don't know. No, I

Scott Benner 13:55
understand what you're saying. I don't understand why it happens like this. But it definitely does happen like this. Because you said something so interesting. You said, you know, my brother has his own family. But you have a family and your brother wasn't like helping going, Oh, my sister can't be here. She has a family. It's just way better. Yeah, that's true.

Nidia 14:11
Yeah. But you know, he's a teacher and he has his own job. And I get Yeah, he he couldn't be there. 24 seven and, and I was working online, and that kind of just worked out. Because I could work from anywhere. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:23
So I got caught. I don't want to I don't want to take you through the pain of your mom. And there's no reason to I just have this feeling like you're gonna tell me that while you were gone. Your son was diagnosed with type one is No.

Unknown Speaker 14:36
No, okay.

Nidia 14:37
But but that's where it all kind of began. I think that stress that was put on him without his mom for almost, you know, half a year was a big stress on him, don't you think?

Scott Benner 14:48
I think that when I look back and look at all the things, medical that I've seen pop up in people's lives that are wrapped around autoimmune somehow there is some sort of a major stressor at some Point, which sucks because it leaves people with the idea that if a major stressor never happened, this might not have ever happened to me. But you know, at some point in life, something stressful is going to happen. So,

Nidia 15:13
yeah, it'll happen. You're right at some point. And so Who would have known? But I mean, I'm not pinpointing it to that. But that was a big stressor on him. And well, let me let me take you back even further when he was born. That was in 2009. We had just moved from I mean, okay. From San Diego, California to Oceanside, California, which is like 50 miles away. And he was, you know, and he was born in Oceanside. Because my husband, you know, changed jobs. And I was pregnant. I had just left the job that I had in San Diego at you know, I had stress at that time. And when he was born, my husband's like, oh, by the way, I'm getting deployed to Afghanistan. Yeah, to Afghanistan. And so you know, that I was so stressed and the baby he was a baby, he. I remember thinking when he woke up in the middle of night crying, crying, crying, I'd be like, Oh my gosh, when can I return this baby? And then I'd be like, Oh my gosh, this is my baby. I can't return him anywhere. And I was like, overwhelmed with this, like, Oh my gosh, cuz he would cry so much.

Scott Benner 16:34
Seriously, raising a child is a hell escape. And especially when they start crying, or, you know, my son threw up a lot in the beginning, you know? Yeah, stuff like that. It's just, you're not ready for it is the truth. You know,

Nidia 16:46
he was my second child. But still Yeah, it was very overwhelming because it there's like a five year gap between my firstborn and him.

Scott Benner 16:54
Yeah, now it's just it's just a different thing. Like now if you could put me if you could take my head and drop it in a 25 year old body? I could raise a kid like, yeah. Yeah, because now I know what to ignore and what to pay attention to what's important and what's not. And I know what's scary and what isn't. Now I have all the information and none of the energy. I'd be a terrific parent. I know the energy though. But in truth, if you brought a baby here, I would die in like three weeks. You know, what? Well, you're ready to be a grandparent, baby. Please. There's some days with this autoimmune stuff. I gotta tell you, I'm just ready to get to the end. Like whatever that is, like, let's, let's fast forward. Please. Hear that's the end. I would like this to stop, please. But No, but seriously, like, sorry, no, no, no,

Nidia 17:51
we were back. Yeah. Let me go back to the story. So I remember him spitting up a lot as a baby. And sorry, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take you back even more in the last like, trimester of my pregnancy, like the last month or so I remember. Like my urine smelling very sweet. Like, like, I never had maple syrup. But I think like maple syrup. It was very sweet. And that kind of struck me. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of weird that this never happened with my first child. Anyway, I wonder if anyone else had, you know, had that in their last few months of pregnancy and has a type one child. But anyway, he sped up a lot as a baby. He wouldn't. He didn't like for us to hold him like laying down. He always wanted to be upright, like over your shoulder. I remember that. And as he grew, I remember him having like, really poor eye contact with us. He was very what is that word that they don't think about the consequences. Not a daredevil, he impulsive. Thank you. He was very impulsive. And he was like a little Daredevil. I remember the word Park core, because he would like jump around at that time. parkour was like really popular. But he was two years old. He didn't know anything about you know, popular things. There's all over the place. Yeah, he would jump off of you know, small benches and didn't think like, I'm gonna get hurt. Were my my first born who Yeah, I know. He was already five but at that age, he he knew there were consequences. He he was more laid back and he more settled down. So I noticed that difference in in. In my type one. He was very different than brother and When I tried to teach him stuff like, letters and stuff before he went into kindergarten, he would close his eyes on me. And he went open them. And I couldn't teach him anything. He went into kindergarten, knowing two letters, love letter O, and the letter X. That's all he knew. And I was so embarrassed, you know, but I, you can't teach your child. I mean, I didn't also didn't want to, to hate learning. So I just backed off.

Scott Benner 20:30
And so anytime you tried to, like, direct him with something or focus on something, he just stopped you.

Nidia 20:35
Yeah, he would just close his eyes. And didn't want to hear it. So I he went into kindergarten knowing nothing, almost i don't i don't think he didn't even know how to, like write his name. Anyway, that's that.

Scott Benner 20:50
Do you realize about ADHD at that point? Or how long was I

Nidia 20:54
didn't hear that? I? I, you know, I didn't think anything of about ADHD. I just thought I didn't I didn't think anything. I just thought what a difficult child. He's always been a difficult child. He's hard. He's hard to love. That's what I tell him. You're hard to love because of the of your behavior. And I'm so mean and strict. I mean, I guess I don't know. I'm just trying to teach him well.

Scott Benner 21:20
So he is, is ADHD, like, is it autoimmune? How do people think, how does it thought of?

Nidia 21:29
I don't think it's autoimmune. I think there's something with their brain chemistry or something like that. That it's different. It's wired differently. And I mean, he's, he is kind of weird, like, ever since he was small, you know, we're having a conversation, whatever. And he's like, Oh, my gosh, look at that bug. And it's like, on the wall, something you would ignore completely. And he will focus on the tiniest, insignificant things. And, oh, video games, he could be there all day.

Wonder why, you know, you can focus on that.

Scott Benner 22:07
Yeah. That that's no problem. School still. Is school still on the shoe? As he's older? No, because he's on medication. Ah, okay. I have to be honest, some studies indicate that both children and adults can develop ADHD infections and an autoimmune response can cause encephalitis brain formation, which may result in behavioral changes? Or I don't know if that's very, maybe that's a very specific thing. I'm not certain. But

Nidia 22:33
let me let me take you back again, to the diagnosis. Sorry. So we Yeah, so this, you know, all this poor eye contact and refusal to learn and carried him into kindergarten. And so he's still okay, in kindergarten, you know, he didn't have a, he, he's not diagnosed with type one. But in kindergarten, his teacher tells me he rolls around on the carpet doesn't listen. He doesn't do his work when you know, that you get a worksheet and it just sits there. Unless someone's right there, telling him exactly what to do. Oh, Lord. So that's when I took them to. I'm telling you his his ADHD diagnosis and his type one diagnosis. At the same time, though, it's

Scott Benner 23:22
fine, because after we get through it, I want to understand how it impacts your life with type one and all that, so that's fine. Oh, gosh, yes. So can I ask that question before we move forward? Please don't take this wrong way. Do you have ADHD?

Nidia 23:35
I do. You know, I know my brother probably does. I think I

Scott Benner 23:50
You can't blame me for doing that. I grew up on 70s and 80s. Television where there was a cliffhanger like every week, just how my brain works. I waited entire summer to find out who shot Jr. It wasn't that exciting when you found out. I'm just here real quick to tell you about touched by type one. It's a type one diabetes organization whose goal is to raise money towards the cure, and help people living with Type One Diabetes. That really is that you should learn more about them at touched by type one.org. We're also on Facebook and Instagram. But you really just take a minute and check out the website. They're doing some pretty great stuff down there. Touched by type one.org. While I have your attention, I'm going to remind you that there is a series within the podcast. Actually there are a number of them. Just going to go over them super quickly. And that's for new listeners. And then we're right back to it. There is the diabetes pro tip series. I can't tell you how proud I am of those. I hope you find them. They begin at Episode 210 in your podcast player and are listed at diet BDS pro tip comm also at that link is the defining diabetes series, which I don't even know started so long ago, I couldn't even tell you when but somewhere in the two hundreds, and again, they're also listed at diabetes pro tip calm, and they're on the front page of Juicebox. Podcast calm. The diabetes variable series is really picking up steam, there's, I think like eight or nine episodes of those at this point, really wonderful short conversations talking about the different variables that impact your life with type one. There's the after dark series, where we talked about everything from having sex with Type One Diabetes, to complications to getting high while you have type one and having bipolar, just a bunch of stuff that you don't hear about usually. But we talked about here on the podcast, there's a series about algorithm pumping. How people eat all different kinds of how people eat episodes flexitarian intermittent fasting, Bernstein fodmap on and on and on. I'm proud of those series, and I hope you find them can be tough. I know with a podcast that has over 500 episodes to find 10 or 20 mixed in somewhere. And that's why you need to go to Juicebox Podcast calm or diabetes pro tip comm to find them. I really think there'll be worth your while. Alright, that's it for today, touched by type one.org. And then check out the you know, make sure you understand everything that's inside the podcast, the show has really become a tapestry of information about diabetes, and I'm trying to help you find all the patches because I know some of them might be blending in this point. Hey, while you're at Juicebox Podcast, calm up at the top, there's a link to the free private Facebook group. There are over 15,000 people in there now talking about type one diabetes, I bet you have a lot in common with them. That's about it. Alright, let's get back to Nydia. Find out if she has ADHD.

No, I don't. Okay, because you just have a your your storytelling style is interesting. It's different than most people that that I talked to. I want to get everything in there. How's that? You feel compelled not to miss anything? Yeah, I want to get everything in there. And I know you don't have that much time. Oh, you're fine. You're telling us it's like a Quentin Tarantino movie. Like john travolta is alive and he's dead. But he's alive again. I'm just

Nidia 27:25
yeah. And it happened. Yeah, it happened so long ago, too. And I just kind of want to go in chronological order. So I don't miss thing. You don't have to

Scott Benner 27:31
feel any pressure. But I, I appreciate I just was like, I gotta ask because you jump back and forth a lot in your story. So I was like, sorry, no, no, don't be sorry. I'm just checking into things. Well, however this goes is how it goes. You don't need to feel pressure about that. Okay, but yeah, so Okay, so he's in school acts like you expect in kindergarten, you know, there's not a lot to do, but you're saying he can focus on some things, but not on other things. And and I don't know what to do. Like, I don't know what I would do. If you put me in that situation? I'm sure I would. Yeah, but, you know,

Nidia 28:05
teacher told me and she, I don't know if it was her idea or my idea to get him tested for ADHD. And so we went through the process, he gets a Vanderbilt assessment, which is like a 10. Like, not, it's not a test, it's a questionnaire. So the teacher fills it out. The mother fills it out and somebody else who helps or you know, who sees him interact. And he gets like, threes on fails to give attention to detail or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork. A three very often has difficulty sustaining attention to tasks or activities that three does not seem to listen when spoken to directly three, so everything but teacher fills out points to ADHD, this is kindergarten. Yeah. And I read your I mean, I read. I listened to your red dye story. Okay. And I, somebody did tell me about that. But you know, I don't know, it's just, to me, just that even overwhelming, just the reading labels. And I'll try but no, I think it was beyond my red dye. And I have two other kids that I was pregnant. And you know, I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't do the red try the red dye thing I barely have, you know, enough time to give him attention. As it is I'm not gonna be reading but I mean, not that that's bad. I'm sure if you have you know,

well, I have time to do that.

Scott Benner 29:42
I think it's interesting with a lot of autoimmune stuff and, and things like this, that you think there might be an underlying cause I think there's a difference between an underlying cause that you can impact and an underlying causes already done, what it's going to do. And you know what he mean? And it's so it's hard and it's hard. Hard to know. Because there are just so many streams of information. And the only way you can really figure it out is online. And people and with people sharing their experiences, right. And so it works for some things like diabetes, like, I think that this podcast works well for people who have type one or using it as one. But when you start getting into, you know, I have this thing, and it's because of my dogs, you know, fleas, but another person has the same thing. And it's because it's an autoimmune disorder, but a third person has the same, you know, symptom, but it's from something else. How do you know which one of those things is the thing that's impacting you? Or even if, even if they are, you know, like, maybe yours is another thing. That's that. And so that is a rapid change. Yeah, very, very difficult to figure out what some people figured out by mistake. Some people do very specific, like eliminations of things, like take everything away and start over again. But I've also seen, you know, bright people try elimination diets for issues they're having with their body, and they never come to an answer. Yep. So

Nidia 31:07
and yeah, and I was not willing. I mean, I, you know, I just had a baby. I had just had a baby by this, another baby by this point. So I have four kids. I was not going to try the red dye examination thing with the other. No, it's too much.

Scott Benner 31:22
This is the truth. Listen, the truth is, you could have done it, and then nothing might have happened. And then true.

Unknown Speaker 31:28
I don't know, where do you go high waisted?

Scott Benner 31:31
Well, yeah, it's not even the waste of time. It's the like, what's next? And how? And how do I even find out what's next, then it's just and doctors are not always, you know, it's such a, it's such a, we're getting away from diabetes for a second, you go to a doctor and you say, look, these are my symptoms. And all a doctor does is go back to credited research and see what your symptoms point to. It's not like a doctor or some magical person who hears what you say, and then goes, Oh, I know exactly what this is. You got to stop drinking iced tea. You don't even like it's not it's not like that. It's um, it's very, you know, it's, it's eliminating things, it's coming up with possibilities, and then eliminate them. And then more and more and more. And I don't know, like, doctors have trouble doing it. People have trouble doing it. mothers have trouble doing it. It's not an easy thing to get something like this is, you know, whatever. type one. Yeah. And I yeah, you know, it's a lot of it's a lot of confusing stuff. And in the meantime, you're going through terrible things around it,

Nidia 32:33
as well. Exactly. And like, and the terrible thing is he was falling behind in school, which I didn't like he got his he got diagnosed at the end of kindergarten. And he was below reading level at that time. You know, he was, I saw it right now. And I've kept a lot of the papers, excuse me, that they gave me and it said, he was reading below, grade level. So first grade comes around, and I get I put them on medication. He started on Ritalin. And that was scary. He acted like a zombie and he would fall easily. He just I got scared. No, not this one. But I kept him on it for a little bit. And it did help his teachers noticed. They would tell me Yeah, he's a little more focused. But I didn't like it.

Scott Benner 33:26
Yeah, and it wasn't a magic pill either. It wasn't like he took it exactly. It's not a match. I mean, it kind of sort of I mean, I

Nidia 33:34
it does help a lot. But But you're right. It's not a magic pill, it takes away their appetite. They they do kind of change their their behavior, which sometimes is good. And for him, it was good. He was able to pay attention. He was able to learn more. And and it is good. So but so I started him on Ritalin that happened. And then I switched to someone told me about conservator. So I got him on concert. And that worked better for the rest of the school year. First grade. Okay. So conservative did good, except at the end of the day, when it wore off. He was really he was yelling, he was cranky enemy. He does that but it was over the top. So I decided, you know, I'm going to not do anything starting his second grade year. And so I did it we we didn't have him on any medication. And they asked us and we said, well, we're just gonna see what happens. Hopefully, you know, he grew he matured. Maybe he doesn't need it. Well, he know, same thing. Second grade comes around and no, he's he's still not mature. He's, although he was a little better. Because I guess you know, the first year, his first grade year, I think he got used to the idea of doing work and learning and so I think that it helped a lot but second grade, he still needed it in my opinion, but we didn't Dad was very reluctant to go to vacation. And I was too at the beginning and a lot of people are. And I felt guilty and I felt shame like, Oh my gosh, I've got my kid on ADHD medication. But honestly,

at that point, I

felt that way.

But I don't anymore. And I I feel bad when people say like, Oh, my kid has ADHD, and then someone's like, will try to change their diet or try to do this or, you know, like to avoid medication. And I really don't think people should shame someone for using medication with their child because some of us need it.

Scott Benner 35:41
Yeah, I listen, I think if you need it, you need it. I wonder, do you feel like they were trying to shame you by saying don't try medication do something else? Or did you just feel shame about it?

Nidia 35:52
I just felt shame about it. Just because it's, it's out there. You know, like, you read things or people on TV or to social media are very quick to judge that. And I, I kind of knew that even though no one really shamed me. Except my husband, he's like, I don't like, you know, what if we try it without and but I was I just went with it. And excuse me, and it helped so much and I don't regret it. And he's still on medication, you know, so I decision I

Scott Benner 36:32
What did you find that worked for him?

Nidia 36:34
Okay, so, finally, so second grade, no medication. Let me go with my timeline. So that's what I left him for five months I came back. We enjoy you know, after my mom passed away, I I we had like three months left in Okinawa. I enjoyed my summer with them, I would take them to the beach. That did lots of things. But what I remember specifically was when we went to the beach one time he got cut his his his on his foot, and it kind of look like athlete's foot. And but it wasn't it was a cut and it wouldn't heal. It wouldn't heal, it wouldn't heal. And then my husband's like, well, maybe it's athletes hood and he put some antifungal. It still won't appeal, but slowly it healed. I remember that specifically. And I also remember one time he ate a bunch of Red Velvet Oreo cookies. And he got really sick. He threw it all up in his room and it was red and the carpet got big stain on it. But I also remember another time I left him with a friend and his and my friend, she fed them cereal the whole day. She said, I just said go at it and she fed those and you know cereal?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
Like oh, crap,

Unknown Speaker 37:59
I let them have a cereal the whole day.

Nidia 38:02
Anyway, I remember those things vividly. And I remember also thinking even as a tiny baby all the way, you know, kids feet began to smell, especially when they were crocs. It smells like vinegary. It's a nasty smell. Well, his feet never stunk ever, ever, ever. And I would always tell him your feet smells so good all the time. They never stink. Hmm. Okay. Well, we come back, you know, I we move back to the states in 2017. So that year, you know, my mom passed away. My dad's my dad, my husband's dad also passed away January from cancer, but he had already been diagnosed three years before. So you know, it was a really tough year. And I was, you know, we were were beat up emotionally. And I'm sure the kids felt it. So we went back to El Paso. And we decided to drive because we had a suburban we decided to drive from El Paso to the east coast, where we live. And I'll tell you where we live. We live in Virginia, and that's like a three day drive. During those three during that the first day, I remember looking at him, and I could see his ribs. Like I could see he had like a knot. Not his rib. Well, yeah. Like, I looked at him from behind. He was so thin, and his little ribs would stick out. And I kind of thought and I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's never been this thin. And you know, you're in a car for 12 hours a day and he kept wanting to go to the restroom. And we were like, no, it's ridiculous. It was like, every half hour. So we had him go in water bottles, empty water bottles, and he would fill them up and he would want more water and he was eating a lot and I remember I actually had a type one student when I was teaching because I did teach, you know, face to face. And I remember thinking about the type one student, he was an eighth grader, and I, he would always have to go to the nurse, you know, I think it was right after lunch. So he would always walk in late, and I felt so bad for him because he missed so much material. And I asked him, Hey, how'd you know that you had type one? Like, what were the symptoms? And he told me, oh, I was drinking a lot of water. I was really hungry, but I wouldn't gain weight. And you know, bam, that hit me in the suburban. I was like, we were driving, and I'm like, Oh, my God, could it be? And I looked up the symptoms, and it said, type one. But you know, like you, like you've said on the podcast that you don't know, like, I didn't know anything about type one. But I'm like, it's probably type one. And I had no sense of urgency. I didn't realize how severe he was already in DK or starting DK or something.

Scott Benner 41:01
I mean, I think if you're seeing his ribs, we were pretty far along.

Nidia 41:04
You know, we were and you know, he's a he's a thick kid. He's always been a chubby kid. Like, he's just built big, like big boned. And this, that's not the case for my teenager. And that's not the case for my seven year old. They're really thin. But him and my little girl Oh, my goodness, they're there. You can tell they're like, hefty, and it was unusual for him for Santiago ought to be so thin. But we kept driving, whatever. We had bought a house online, like we had bought a house from Okinawa, we had never seen the house. So we had to sign papers, closing papers. When we got here. We had to sign closing papers and everything. So I was like, okay, it was the weekend almost. And I said, you know, I'm gonna It was a Thursday that we got here. And I said, we want to sign the papers. And he refused some cookies that they were offering him and I was like, that's unlike him. And he was just kind of acting up and, and then on Friday, he slept the once we finished the closing, you know, all the signing all the closing costs, papers, and all that Friday, he slept the whole day, the entire day, he was asleep the whole day. And I remember getting very worried. And when I lifted his head, his little ear was like, bent like folded. And you know, when you when you have that and you're asleep, you wake up and it hurts. Well, he didn't even wake up for that. And that, like, I just, I was like, Oh my gosh, we got to take him to we got to take him somewhere. Right. So my husband's like, well, you want me to buy a glucometer? He's a nurse, by the way. And I said, Yeah, go ahead. So he, you know, he, he was out doing something I don't remember he came back to the house and we tested his blood sugar. It was for 19. Goodness.

We started crying, my husband started crying.

Unknown Speaker 43:12
And

Nidia 43:15
we just took them to the hospital. We didn't even know where the hospital was, you know, we had to use Google Maps because we just got here. Yeah. We show up at the hospital. And my husband's still kind of in denial. Like Could it be a growth spurt? I'm like, no. We know what it is. And it's funny, the doctor that follows there. She actually was the our friend, a friend of ours, a doctor in Okinawa, and she had also come to same place in Virginia. And she's the one who, who told us you know, yeah, he wasn't DK and was diagnosed then. Okay, goodness, that's such a hard story to tell. Sorry.

Unknown Speaker 43:58
But thank you, we,

Nidia 44:02
we just got here. You know, this type one diagnosis. My dad was supposed to leave like a week. My dad came with us. He drove with us. And so he was supposed to leave like a week after we got here. And he ended up staying like, almost a month or two. Cuz we needed him. You know, we were in the hospital with Santiago. We have no one here. You know, we don't know anybody. And thank God he was here because, you know, I have three other kids, the little girl she's five, my teenager and my seven year old and, and well, they needed someone and he was here and he helped and God. But that was a awful, awful time. But oh goodness. I know. It was super unrelated to the ADHD. I know they're completely different. I don't think that the high blood sugars that he was experiencing Wherever related to his behavior.

Scott Benner 45:03
Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, the diabetes came on as its own thing. It wasn't lingering for years and impact me is?

Nidia 45:12
I don't know, I think it's two different things. Yeah. One of them is a brain and the other one's endocrine,

Scott Benner 45:19
it's interesting to listen to you talk about it because you do this thing. But obviously, a lot of people do. But I can hear you while you're talking. How often you search for triggers for things or reasons like in the past, like, I can feel you looking back trying to figure out like, what did this and what did that and I do burdensome it is, but you know, you've you do a really good job on all the podcasts kind of telling people what, it wasn't your fault. It was kind of just gonna happen. And I've accepted that. It's still hard when I think about it. Yeah, I think bag. It's like, Yeah, it really is. But anyway, that's the diagnosis story. That's crazy. And the ADHD came back to haunt us. Listen, I really do want to kind of focus on that for the rest of the way. So yeah, what's it? What what are the impacts of ADHD? And type one being together? How does it mess with

Nidia 46:21
very difficult because so we put them on a new medication starting, I held him back actually, with the diagnosis for for the type one. He was supposed to go into third grade, but I wanted to hold them back in second grade because of this new diagnosis. And I knew the ADHD. And you know, my mom, I had to be with my mom and I couldn't be there for the rest of the school year, he probably fell behind in school. So I said, I'm just gonna keep them in second grade. So I did this new teacher that he got assessed all over again. And yes, he has ADHD again. He he started on Strattera, okay, which is like it's not a stimulant. And I, I actually had what joined a Facebook group. And they recommended that and so I asked the doctor and he's like, Alright, let's try it. Well, it did not do I mean, the teacher would be like, Yeah, he was a little better today, but emotionally that I'm scared of that he would he kept he started saying things like, I wish I was never born. And I looked at one of the side effects is suicidal tendencies. And I'm like, Oh

Unknown Speaker 47:41
my goodness.

Nidia 47:43
steered clear. I'm like nope, I'm out. I don't care if it's a non stimulant. No. Right. And so after that, I don't remember who suggested vyvanse I think it was also a face in the same Facebook group and so I started him on vyvanse and that has been the pill that's worked for us that's been the medication that that works for him and his brain chemistry or whatever and sometimes again, it does take away the the appetite which it helps with the type one it actually it does because you don't eat you know your blood sugar's don't go a pie and so it helps in in that manner. But But what's interesting it also doesn't help that Tim because he's he's high cuz he ate cereal and I didn't Bolus him enough. Oh, I'm so angry. What do you mean you're angry? I am because we have a endo appointment today. And so

Scott Benner 48:47
I always I always amazed me is that people think that their endo is not gonna understand if your blood sugars type perfect. They see all your reports they know it hasn't been perfect.

Nidia 48:56
Yeah, no, no, it's not that but I think like oh my gosh, you know when he takes his agency This is gonna affect it. And and I've been doing such

Scott Benner 49:03
Yeah. All right, today will affect the next day one. See not this one. Don't worry. You'll be alright. Yeah.

Nidia 49:09
And but my end our end oh my gosh, she's amazing. We love her. But she's military. So I don't want to put her in your list.

Scott Benner 49:18
Oh, yeah. I understand. Well, so you tried three is it three or four different medications to get to the vyvanse

Nidia 49:26
this This is the fourth one yeah. vyvanse is the fourth one so yeah, it's not a you know. Try this at work it's the you also have to be a judge like okay, well is he improving in school and behavior like you know, focus and behavior or is it just one or is it yet a side effects are is it worth it? And to us the vyvanse is worth it but like I said it does affect his appetite and and that could be difficult because you know, Basil insolent is Like, the more you eat, the more you'll basil you're probably be probably need. That's what I've seen on him. So like when he doesn't, and I don't sometimes I don't give it to him on the weekends because I want him to eat. Although he's really, he's chubby now. So, you know, it kind of helps with weight control too. That's horrible to say, but it really does because he eats a lot and he and he does exercise but not as much and sometimes, you know, with the, your sugar being all over the place. You're like, okay, exercise. Okay, wait, don't and so

that consistent kind of thing. Yeah, it's

Scott Benner 50:36
it's interesting. It's it's listed as a stimulant that can treat ADHD and a binge eating disorder. Oh, wow. That's Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, I can see that. Well, so, my gosh, first of all, are you okay? Because Yeah, yeah. Oh, good. Because I would I, how are the other three kids? anything going on with them?

Nidia 50:57
Oh, God. It's so funny you asked because right now I'm very overwhelmed. My teenager is having issues with IBD. That like he's doctor hasn't diagnosed him with IBD. But it's kind of there. And, you know, he got a colonoscopy. He got an endoscopy and inflammations there. And he said, he doesn't want to call it a, you know, krones yet, because he doesn't kind of want to label him yet. Okay, so he's giving him some medication to see if it kind of goes away and see what happens. But yeah, that one, yes. And my seven year old, he's, he's got like asthma. Like, and I wouldn't call it like real true asthma. Because I know what true asthma is. This is more like he gets a cold. And he's like wheezing right now, because he just got a cold. He's got that then. And there's food allergies to peanut allergy with him. And then my teenagers got food allergies also. Just, it is a lot.

Scott Benner 52:00
So IBD, asthma type one, ADHD, food allergies, does your husband or you have any of these things? No, anybody in the family line that you're aware of? There's a lot of type two, like his mom, side of the family is heavy type two, she's got type two, she's in. What do you dialysis, end stage and stage renal. But no other like celiac or thyroid?

Nidia 52:33
thyroid? Yes. My mom. hypo, my dad. My dad's brothers have type two. And it's not it does, like it's not from obesity or anything they'd look, they just have their weight is fine. Yeah, it's like type two diabetic but they're, you know, how type two is always associated with weight and all that. But they're not they're, I mean, they're not super obese or I think there, you would look at him and you think they're fine.

Scott Benner 53:04
There's somebody who's weights not a good indicator of whether or not they have type two diabetes, it's just, it's not to think about it. But there's a lot of like, so look. ADHD, you know, is talked about as an inflammatory problem, which then leads that to be autoimmune food allergies can be autoimmune type one is autoimmune asthma, by the way is autoimmune. and so's irritable bowel. So you guys have like, a cornucopia of things. Okay. Yep. Hello, we dodged them. You and I, I mean, my husband, and I've touched them. I don't know. So I don't know anything about this. But it makes me wonder if it's sort of like one of those things like recessive and dominant genes and to have one get together and make another I don't know if that's possible. or not, maybe I might be talking out of my body. But that's fascinating that they have that there's so many kids with different stuff. And yet, you guys are just untouched by it. That's really fascinating.

Nidia 54:08
It is weird. But you know, let me tell you something. My grandmother on my mom's side, she lived to 106. So and with no medical issues, she's

Scott Benner 54:19
she sounds

Nidia 54:21
bite by the weight, but she was while they call it Indian, but Native American from Mexico. And so, you know, got a lot of I guess good blood or

Scott Benner 54:35
with people. That's, um, that's a real crazy line. It really is. That's a lot. Let me let me mention something else. My grandma. Yes. I'm sorry. No, I meant Go ahead, please.

Nidia 54:53
Oh, that my grandma had my so my mom told me the story. She had like a Kids, but she had other kids that died, you know, as kids. But the one that that ended that was back then it was like normal that they died before the age of three, let's say. But she had one that died at the age of eight. And I, you know, my mom's gone. So I can't ask her and she'd never knew about Sunday I was, you know, because it happened after she passed away. About that son of her brother that passed away at the age of eight. I always am like, always thinking about that, could it have been like, type one?

Unknown Speaker 55:33
Yeah, and they didn't know,

Scott Benner 55:35
could have been any number of these things. Honestly, without without medical intervention. You know, we talk about it here sometimes, you know, in our house. And I'll say it a ton on the podcast, but three of the four people in my immediate family would not be alive without modern medicine and intervention. On some love or not, my wife grew up with terrible ear infections that clearly 200 years ago would have killed her. I had my appendix, you know, went south on me, which before surgery would have killed me. And Arden has type one diabetes, which would have you know, by the way, I know this is crazy, but I was right by mistake. And now everyone's gonna probably think I'm an idiot. But Arden was diagnosed on August 22 2006, which was very month, a month after her her birthday, but I didn't remember that. When I was talking to you Just now I had to look on my own blog to the first time I ever wrote something on a blog, which was August 16 2007. And I started off by saying, you know, that I haven't been able to sleep for about a year. And then Arden's about to be a type one for one year on August 22. And then I'm starting a blog that crazy 2000 because what is it? That's 2021, isn't it? You won't do the math on that. Hold on. Three gets you to 1020 one's 11. Yeah, at 11. Free, you get 14? I've been doing this for 14 years. Yes. When the blog has she's 16. So yeah, she was too much. So you you knew better than I did. I had to figure it out. It's interesting. You can figure out my stuff, but not your own stuff. Yeah. I'm sitting over here trying to figure out everything is happening to my family as well. It's almost twinsies Yeah, well, I think we all are. And it seriously can be it's completely, I was gonna say can be overwhelming, but it is overwhelming. Because, you know, you look out the door and you think, well, that guy's okay. You know, I look at my neighbor, my neighbor seems fine. You know, probably doesn't have any problems in the world talking to him one day. He's had hypothyroidism for like, nine years. The guy is like, yeah, you know, my other neighbor. Like, literally, they were, you know, close, as close to these people as you can beat up neighbors. And if, if one of my other neighbors would never have told me, I never would have known she had breast cancer. Oh, wow. Right. And yeah, yeah, it's inside your home, it's easy to feel like, stuff is happening to us. It's just to us. But a lot of people have stuff like this. And I mean, there's that like, pie in the sky feeling like that, you know, they're, you know, you're a great great grandmother, whoever who lived like 300 years old, but it's just, that's not the norm. That's, you know, it just isn't the norm to live your whole life. 100 years and not get sick ever. No, not anymore, anyway. Yeah. Well, and especially well, especially when you're, you're saying just a couple of generations ago, people were losing their children, like, you know, like, they were losing their iPhone down a couch cushion, just, you know, like, Oh, where's that one where this one, go three, eight, you know, people died. So now you get to stay alive longer, and you find out what happens? You need some medical intervention, you know, and I think that seriously, seriously, though, you have to say, I'm alive. I get to live a life. It's, it's sometimes it's not the perfect one. But it the old there is no alternative to you know, the opposite of being alive is not existing. So there's there's no alternative except to take, you know, the cards you're dealt and do the best you can with them. Yeah, yeah. And I

Nidia 59:25
and I take that, like, that's how your podcast Believe it or not, has helped me see like, not see that but feel that and and push through it and not feel like sorry for myself or sorry for our family. But just and I tell my teenager that because you know, he's going through a lot. He also has like anxiety issues and stuff. And, and I tell him, because he's like, how could other people just enjoy and you know, we're, I'm stuck here and I go, we just got to work with what we have. And that's all And try to do the best that we can with what it is because I tell him you're very smart boy, you know you're intelligent, you will go other places that others won't who might be having fun right now. So you got to kind of, like you say, play the cards you're dealt, because we have other strengths that others might not. And so you you

push through and you,

you know, just don't even think about all the stuff you're going through. Well, you do think about it, but I'm saying, you know, it's okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
We'll get through this.

Scott Benner 1:00:35
You can't let it weigh on you. And you have to understand too, that the thing you dreamt about, that maybe isn't your dream, you don't mean just because when you're nine years old, you think to yourself, like, Oh, I know what I'm gonna do when I grow up, I'm gonna do this, and it doesn't work out that way. You know, it's funny, when it doesn't work out that way. Most people just pivot. But when it doesn't work out that way, because of a health issue, you feel like it was taken from, you know, like, I mean, yeah, how many kids play a sport, you know, as a as young kids, right? There's most of them. But you know, when you're 25, and you haven't played soccer, since you were 11, you don't think that somebody came along and stole your soccer dream away? You think, you know, it just wasn't for me. I wasn't, you know, it ended up I wasn't a college soccer player. I'm not a professional soccer player, whatever it ends up being. But when you have a dream of doing something, and then a medical thing gets in your way, you think, well, now this has been taken from me. Not not, like, not just that the natural progression of my life didn't lead me in this direction. And it's, you know, I understand, you know,

Nidia 1:01:38
that that really speaks to me, because I feel like I've felt that the diagnose like the type one diagnosis kind of took my career away. Like I was thinking, Okay, when we go back to the States, I will find a face to you know, like a real? No, not that virtual is not real, but like a face to face job as a teacher again, because I loved teaching high school. And I had that in mind. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do that. And, bam, type one. No, you're not. And that's how I felt.

Scott Benner 1:02:14
Well, no, it's not it's not inaccurate, because it is what happened. I mean, I don't, most of my life is not what I expected. And a majority of that is because of diabetes. Some of it's because of other people's health issues and, and the way they lead you into certainly, it's just, it is what it is, you know, my life did not turn out like a television show. That's for certain, right? Like, I'm not, you know, but kinda though like a movie while you're here. So anyway, I got this really successful podcast I think it's more like a heart. But But no, but you know what I mean? Like it's not just like everybody's not smiling. We don't have a little pot right into the evening and then sit around the fire and you know, then dad comes home and trips over the Ottoman It's not like that, you know, it's um, it's like a real life. It's,

Nidia 1:03:05
it is and it I agree that and also the type one the all these health issues and also they take a toll on on the marriage. You know, I find myself getting so angry at my husband over dumb things. Like what like this, like, okay, like this morning, I go, I grab my coffee. I grab my coffee creamer and I love I don't drink like the regular milk based. I like the the element. coffee creamer. So I buy my own and I buy him his french vanilla. You know, gross milk based one. And mine is almost empty. And I'm like, Why has he been using my coffee creamer? I bought him his it's right there. It's full. And

Unknown Speaker 1:03:52
things like that.

Scott Benner 1:03:53
Yeah, I want to tell you something right now. Okay. When you started telling that story, every married guy listening was like, oh, here comes interestingly, the women listening who are married, or like a DD is crazy. I would never do anything like what you all do? I just want you to know that we all do. Like everybody, every time you hear somebody else say something and you're like, Ah, that's weird. You do the same thing. You just probably do it around something different media. You're crazy. Let's let the guy eat the coffee creamer and just stop it. Don't worry, buy more I know just go buy more. But no, but not not listen, not crazy. Maybe crazy to believe that somehow this is going to change. You know, I mean, like that's, that's the interesting thing. Like, I mean, how many times do you need to see something before you say to yourself, I should lose this expectation? You're right, you're right. That's all. I don't know what to say. There. That's Um, I think that happens to both sexes. In a in a in a standard marriage between a man and a woman. I think that I could get your husband on here and he would tell 25 stories and weird things. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, and you can do the same thing. So I don't know.

Nidia 1:05:04
Yeah, we also like we we also fight. Well, these see that those little arguments then go blow up into bigger fights and and for example I don't even know what we were fighting about but but the fact that I take care of Santiago and he has kind of nothing to do with it came up. And I don't mind that

Unknown Speaker 1:05:26
come up when you brought it up by the way. I don't remember. I don't think I did, because I think he might think

Scott Benner 1:05:33
he started the conversation by saying, you know, I'm not really involved in this diabetes thing at all. No, that's because that sounds like something I shut up about if I was so

Nidia 1:05:43
think so I can you believe I don't even remember how it came up. But he's like, it. He it really ticked me off. He's like, you take care of him because I let you. If I took care of him, I'd probably be doing a better job than you. Oh.

He pushed my buttons. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:06:03
Well, you know, you should do don't buy him anymore. Kramer and hide yours. That's what you could easily hide it. I didn't live without creamer for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Nidia 1:06:15
We just jabbing at each other that day, you know, and then but he really knew how to get to me that day. And I was so angry. Yeah, no, I think I think I told him, I said, Oh, make sure Santiago Bolus is for this. And I said, Oh, but you don't know. Because we were using loop actually. And so he was very against it. And he's like, it's not FDA certified, blah, blah, blah. I said, That's okay. I think I know what I'm doing now, you know, after three years and a lot of podcast listening. And he's like, it's not FDA approved. I don't I don't want to do that. And so I tried it in November that loop. And then it was overwhelming back then. Cuz you know, you've said it. I heard those podcasts with the first one with Jenny, where you said, If I didn't have you, I'd quit in a week.

Scott Benner 1:07:08
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have done it for six days. I don't think without having somebody to like lean on.

Nidia 1:07:14
I quit in a week. Especially cuz I think I tried to show him something. And he's like, I'm not learning that it's not FDA approved, or something like that, you know, some flippant thing. And I oh my gosh, I was so angry. And I tried to do it. But he is, you know how you Bolus food and it kind of goes high and, and I tried to open and then his, his canula went off. And then his blood sugar was like 400. And I was like, Oh my god, it just went really bad. And then I didn't have support from him. So I was like, forget it. So I quit. But then I came back to it. In December,

Scott Benner 1:07:51
I think we've learned here in this hour is that if you're by yourself, it's lonely. And when you're other when you're with other people, you find yourself thinking, I wonder what it would be like to be alone.

Yeah, but I mean, I would never I would never want to kill him and put him in a small box. That's not what you were gonna say. Is it? No, no, of course. You know, listen, your we would I don't think I've ever I want to leave them. No, no, I'm not saying that about how long you've been married. 20 Okay. 298 Yeah, you're in the 25 year range. Almost 20 Yeah, this 2122 2323 years. Yeah, all you have to do is make a feel like the next five or six years and this will all just fade away again. Then you can just say you can just stare at each other until it's over. It'll be nice. Finally, there'll be nothing.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:54
I guess. You

Scott Benner 1:08:57
know, I think it's interesting when, when you've been together with somebody for so long. And it's so it's just, there's a decision you make in your head when when you start having like, my wife will say something and I'll have to think to myself like do I want to fight about that? And then most of the time I go No, I don't and then I just you know, I artfully move past it. I'm sure she does the same thing with me. But there's that once in a while where something gets said and you're like yeah, I'm gonna plant a flag on this hill and fight for a while.

Nidia 1:09:28
Yeah, yeah, you're right you're right. That does happen. I'm like okay, whatever. He's angry or Yeah, he's tired from work.

Scott Benner 1:09:36
Let it go. It never end it never ends well, I have never once thought let me fight this fight and then at the end thought well, that went well. I'm glad I did that. Never once it's never happened to me. I've always regretted it afterwards. therapists so Okay, I won't buy is your phone. Oh boy. Did you by any chance unlock your iPhone. It's making a weird that I'm getting a weird noise on your end.

Nidia 1:10:00
Let me see, let me see Oh, no, I didn't. Well, then I was on the chair that might have been might have been making some noise.

Scott Benner 1:10:07
No, no, this is very electronic noise, something's interfering with this all of a sudden. But anyway, it does. You know what, it's good. It's a, it's a good time to say, goodbye anyway. Because we've been at it for a while, I want to say this nidia I really appreciate you coming on most people who end up coming on telling their stories about things like ADHD and diabetes, or just recently I've been having a conversation with someone about like, Oh, I need you to have a talk to somebody about PCs. I want everyone to realize there's, there's no, there are no like people with magic answers out in the world. And, and you have people on to have these conversations, to find similarities and maybe be able to pick through them and you know, get a couple of ideas here or there, or at least just feel comfortable that somebody else is living the same existence. But there are not a lot of magic people with answers. Like, I think that's a construct of, you know, like major media, like, we're going to bring on this expert. Now he's going to tell you how to do this, and it just doesn't really exist, whether it's, you know, ADHD, or type one diabetes, or anything like that, you're just gonna hear ideas, and hopefully, some of them are gonna meld into your life. And once in a while, we get super lucky, right, and we find Jenny, but for the most part, you know, when there are issues that have so many varying approaches, I mean, look at this with ADHD, you know, for medications to find an answer for your son. You just got to hear the stories and figure out what's going on. But, you know, I'm guarantee you that this started with EDS saying like, I hope you can we have an episode with someone with ADHD, I need to hear from somebody with ADHD. And she turns out, she's the person you're hearing from, so I really appreciate you doing it. No problem. And one more thing I want to add here is your your voice is completely bonkers. If you if you really have something you want to say I'll just connect and read and we can reconnect and try it. Sure I do. Okay, so, alright, say hello. Hello. There we go.

Nidia 1:12:09
Alright, I just wanted to share something with you, please. Yeah. So I'm in a, I'm in your Facebook group. Am I making three for type one Facebook groups? And I'm in this one that call that's called T one D moms? I think. So, you know, they ask questions, you know, or you ask questions, and they answer and this young lady, she asked a question, she said something about, you know, my daughter's always in the two hundreds. I'm not comfortable. And I replied, oh, you probably just need more insulin. And she had said that her doctor said that for her daughter's weight that that was you know, what she was given was enough, was supposed to be enough. So I that's what I said wait, doesn't? It doesn't matter how much she weighs? everyone's needs are different. So she ends up messaging me, like privately. And we start you know, talking. And I I did a Skype on her. Talk to her. And I'm actually helping her. Yeah, we upped her Lantus. I mean, obviously, I tell her, you know, I would do this, if I were you. And you know, I've heard and I told her about your podcast, she listens now. Oh, hello. And her name is Matt aisyah. And she, she's like, Yeah, I don't mind you using me. And I just wanted to talk to you about you know, your podcast has not only helped myself, but now I feel like you do like it made me feel so good. I I'm you know, upping her lantis and helping her with all these boluses has really helped her daughter, I think she was at an 8.5 a one c last time she went three months ago. And with just like, almost two weeks of help. She just went in and her a once he was 7.5. And it was Yeah, it was only two weeks of me helping her and she said she used to be in the two three, you know, 200 hovering on the two hundreds and her nurse practitioners like don't give her insulin, you know, three hours, every three hours every three hours do the correction and don't feed her for more than 45 carbs and and I said that's baloney feeder whatever you want,

Scott Benner 1:14:22
as long as her child had diabetes 10 months, okay.

Nidia 1:14:28
Well, and but but the the nurse practitioner was not being helpful. Not even in this last appointment she had she says she said the nurse practitioner was like, Well, no, don't give her insulin. Unless she eats and don't correct all the after three hours, only 45 grams of carbs and she didn't even give her on the pod. I'm thinking in Spanish. I said that is a prescription. Okay. And so she goes to the class and I'm just kind of like, Oh my gosh, I'm so lucky not to have You know, to our endo, you know, just gives me what I want. And here's this nurse practitioner not letting her get what she wants. And I understand, you know, some, she wanted to give her the in pen just to track her her information, but I was like, don't pay for something that you're not going to use you want the Omnipod just get the Omni pod

Scott Benner 1:15:24
that interesting. Yeah, I mean, in the beginning of diagnosis, you, you get sometimes sketchy help. And then it takes a little time to figure out if that's going to be the quality of care all along, or if they were easing you into it. You know, I never know which you'll never know what it is in the beginning. But it's wonderful that you guys found each other.

Nidia 1:15:44
Yeah. And and so thank you, you not only helped you know, me, and you, let me tell you just one more thing you help people not only like with the management, but for me, it's emotionally. Excuse me, you you have helped a lot. You know what, and I can't tell you specifically how but all of the things that you say, just really helped me get comfortable and I've gotten comfortable where I'm at, I might even consider studying to be a diabetes educator, maybe?

Scott Benner 1:16:15
I'm afraid you're gonna find time for that. But that'd be amazing. If you did it. It might happen one day. Listen, that is very kind of you to share with me. I really appreciate it. I'm problem. I'm so happy that the podcast is been valuable for you. And then it allows you to be valuable in somebody else's life. That is really the goal is that for people to talk about this in a way that's not restrictive, to their, their good health outcomes. So okay, thank you, buddy. Know, you're I can't believe you're thanking me, but that's very kind You're welcome. means a lot. I don't know what it makes me feel. Yeah.

Nidia 1:16:50
Thank you. Well, just again, thanks again, for everything, all your experience, all your years of experience, and just kind of giving it out for free. No

Scott Benner 1:16:59
bites, Lisa. Hey, there's advertisers. I it's not it's not like I am, you know, I'm getting paid. It's just not by you. I feel very strangely about I don't know if this is not really a critique about others. But there's a real trend in social media right now to charge people for the things you know. And I just don't, I don't have that in me. I don't understand. I could never do that. Like I could never say like media, guess what, for just $69 a month, you can be in my facebook group and ask people like I love a zoom meeting. And it just I don't get all that like I'm not. Maybe it's just generationally misses me. But I have more of a capitalist mind. I think if I put out something that's quality, I could sell an add on it. And then you can get the information. I can be covered for my time and everybody wins is how it seems to me. So yeah, that's that's been the case. Yeah. Now I and being completely clear, prior to the last couple years of the podcast, I I've never taken an ad in my life. Like when I started that blog back in 2007. People offered me ads. And I was like, Nah, that's okay. Like, I don't like I didn't need it, to do the, to make the blog, like, you know, but the podcast has become an amount of time that that, you know, I had to give away other ways that we were supporting ourselves. So Oh, yeah. So it ends up being what it is. But I really appreciate that. It's really kind of you. I'm thrilled. Honestly, I don't sound thrilled because I don't modulate my voice around this because I usually, I usually just get embarrassed, but it's really cool. Really cool. I just wanted to share that. I thought that was Yeah, I thought that was pretty neat that she trusted me to guide her. And and they're doing great. Well, well, you know what happened? You get desperate enough. You're just like, all right. Say it again. What? No, it's Yeah,

Nidia 1:18:50
I think she was like she was she knew she could do better. And I told her she's a great mom for drawing. Yes. for searching and trusting somebody.

Scott Benner 1:19:01
I agree. So I want to wish you a ton of luck and everybody in your house. A lot of luck. And how long have you been in Virginia? Now?

Nidia 1:19:09
This is our third No, wait. We're going on our fourth year now. So yeah, we extended so it was supposed to be only three years. But with the diagnosis and everything. I'm like, I know I had enough. Let me just stay somewhere for like six years. A question

Scott Benner 1:19:24
before I let you go and a comment. So my question is, how did it end up buying a house sight unseen did that workout? It did? Okay. We love the house. Yeah. And a long time ago in our conversation, it's gonna be 45 minutes ago, you were trying to come up with the word impulsive. And you stopped and you stopped to find it. And after you found it, you said thank you out loud. Who were you thinking? myself? Oh. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a voice in your head. That's all I

Nidia 1:19:58
know. You know, I'm filing So like I like I, sometimes I forget words. Yeah. And I search and I search and I'm like, Is it

Scott Benner 1:20:09
so I I imagined that's what you were doing I just didn't know who you thanked at the end I was like I didn't know if you had a friend named Patty that lives on your shoulder like thank you Patty. Crazy that's just my little wellness check for you seem like you're okay, so Nevermind. All right. Well, first of all, let's thank media for coming on the show and doing such a terrific job. I had a great time talking to her. I hope you enjoyed listening. I also want to thank touched by type one, and remind you to go to touch by type one.org or find them on Facebook, and Instagram. And then all those series that I told you about, remember the diabetes pro tip series, defining diabetes algorithm pumping diabetes variables afterdark how we eat there are so many to choose from, check them out at Juicebox Podcast comm while you're there, click on the links for the sponsors support the show