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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello, everyone, welcome to Episode 169 of the Juicebox Podcast. In today's episode, I'm going to be speaking with Christina. Christina, his husband is a doctor who has type one, and one of her children and she has three children, but one of them also has type one diabetes. This conversation goes in a lot of great directions. But mostly in my mind, it's about the feelings around type one diabetes. And Christina is incredibly open and honest with her thoughts and how she feels and so I want to thank her right up front for her transparency. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you by the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitoring system. Now FDA permitted for zero finger sticks. You can make diabetes treatment decisions with zero finger sticks and no calibration. Always know where your glucose number is headed with the new Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitoring system. I am also super excited and proud to be sponsored by Omni pod makers of the tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been using since she was four years old. Why use multiple daily injections or a tube pump. When the Omni pod insulin delivery system is about to make a huge dash forward itself simple, smart and discreet as always, it's tubeless and waterproof, like always. But now the new pods are going to be Bluetooth enabled. Why? Because Omni pod has just received FDA clearance for their new dash personal diabetes manager. It is small and thin and sleek and what is today and now exciting. It's a touchscreen, personal diabetes manager, you're still tubeless you're still wireless. But now you're holding state of the art technology to control your insulin pump blood. And let me tell you something, it's pretty.

If you don't mind, I just like to remind you that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should ever be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. I am not a doctor, this is just a podcast.

Sorry about that. That was actually my fault.

Unknown Speaker 2:26
No problem.

Scott Benner 2:28
I sent it the first time and realized I had one wire not connected. And I was like oh and I tried to stop it.

Unknown Speaker 2:34
Christine, you

Scott Benner 2:36
I say this to a few people when I start but I this one absolutely has to be the winner. This is the longest amount of time between when we first started talking when we actually were able to record.

Unknown Speaker 2:47
I really

Scott Benner 2:48
just sets a record I believe I think we've been talking since maybe June. Yeah. So I'm very glad we're able to do this.

Christina 2:58
Yeah, I'm like everyone, I hear them say they were nervous. And I was like, Oh, I won't be nervous. And now I'm nervous. And I'm like, What am I gonna talk about? There's nothing, nothing special over here. But

Scott Benner 3:08
so it's funny. I was speaking just the other day to somebody on the phone privately. And we really discussed it, they should come on the podcast, they completely agreed in the first thing they said was, but what would I talk about? I said, Well, what did we just talk about for the last 45 minutes? And she's like, well, that's not interesting. I said, I don't know. I was pretty interested. And and then I told her, you know, all the people that you said you listen to on the podcast that that make you feel so much better. I said, you know, they all have one thing in common. None of them thought their story was interesting. Alright, she was like, okay, so you this will be the same for you. Really? I mean, you have you have interesting stuff going on. So yeah, I think we I think we can make two Why don't you just introduce yourself Anyway, you want to be known and we'll start.

Christina 3:50
Okay. Well, my name is Christina and I have three children. And my husband was diagnosed with diabetes five years ago, and then my oldest was diagnosed almost two years ago. type one. So

Scott Benner 4:07
your husband was in his, like, early 30s when he was diagnosed? Yeah, he

Christina 4:11
was 32

Scott Benner 4:12
Okay. Out of nowhere was it was there a family

Christina 4:16
tro later, it was out of nowhere and he's actually a doctor, and he was in residency, and he had just started residency and he was eating like crazy and everything and then he said, you know, you need to make a doctor's appointment. I either have diabetes, or I have cancer, like one or the other cuz he had lost like 25 pounds in a month. And, you know, now that we know like, all these symptoms made sense, but never in our mind was type one. So his whole family is surprisingly 100% type two. And there are some autoimmune issues like he had an aunt that died from RA and then we're finding there's another cousin here, they're sprinkled with type one. So he was born and raised in Mexico. And so I know there's a strong genetic component. But there's also you know, a lot of his, his brothers and his dad Dale smoked, and they're overweight. And so the type two made more sense. But they were all diagnosed in their 20s as well with type two, which is more rare.

Scott Benner 5:19
I mean, your husband really has the doctors bedside manner all fixed up already. He's like, Christina, honey, I have cancer or diabetes. Can you call the doctor for me, please? Yeah.

Christina 5:28
Yeah. So it was like in the doctor was like, well, we can see him in three months. And I was like, No, he needs to be seen like now.

Unknown Speaker 5:34
Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 5:35
Can I ask

Scott Benner 5:36
you when he said that to you? Were,

Christina 5:38
I mean, did you notice he was losing weight? You know, it's a funny thing is that other people had made comments, and I was like, Oh, no, I, you know, like, I didn't really like I had noticed that somewhat, but I thought it was the stress from going from med school to working 80 hours plus, you know, and trying to keep up as a first year resident.

Scott Benner 5:58
So unless you're married, you have three kids, you weren't probably looking at him to begin with. Right? You were just

Unknown Speaker 6:02
Well, yeah. Well, at that point, I just had one. Okay. And so that was your mistake, he

Scott Benner 6:08
kept looking at him. That's how you get the other ones. What I've learned from my wife is when I come in the room, she just she looks the other way. Even if it's into like a vacant corner. She's like, Don't make eye contact with them. Or it's almost time for bed. Like I can see you just did it wrong, Christina.

Unknown Speaker 6:24
Oh, God. Well, that's

Scott Benner 6:25
that's it. Listen, that sucks. And then so when he's diagnosed, how does that it's interesting. He said that he's a basically a doctor at that point, right? He's in his residency. So that's it affect you. How does it affect him? did it affect his residency? Your marriage, like what all happened?

Christina 6:42
Well, they diagnosed him with type two and send him home with Metformin. And then, you know, with the blood sugar is that his blood sugar was like 600 something. And then we were like, Okay, and then the next day, the doctor called him and said, You know, I think you have type one. And he was like, I think this doctor is crazy.

Scott Benner 7:01
Okay, you know, but it's age, right? It's always the age you think.

Christina 7:04
Yeah. So it just, you know, but then there we were within 24 hours in line for needles and insulin and, you know, realizing, but no, it you know, with him, they didn't I didn't really realize, like, it didn't change too much for us, because I didn't realize how dangerous it is and everything. And they didn't tell us about ketones. He never got ketone strips. It was like nothing, you know, like, I didn't even

Scott Benner 7:32
do you think because of his profession. They just, he didn't get the full walk? Yeah.

Christina 7:38
Yeah, they do that to us a lot, though. They say, oh, you're you know, you know, this, your husband's a doctor. But the thing is, is that they don't even teach nutrition. In med school, they get like maybe an hour, people think doctors know a lot about things that they don't really know about. So they did kind of just rush us through it. And it was his health care system. And you know, like his doctor was his endocrinologist was a co worker. So I think they kind of just, you know, said, Oh, you know, this and,

Scott Benner 8:05
but everyone just assumes and yeah, and your husband doesn't know what he doesn't know. And yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. So how did how was this beginning? Did he have a really rocky road figuring it out? or How did he figure it out?

Christina 8:17
You know, he just kind of did it. He's more like, he gets mad at me sometimes with my daughter because I'm burned out or I'm angry, or I'm like, this sucks. And he doesn't like me to be able to say that this sucks. Like he says, that's a negative outlook. So he doesn't even ever talk about it. He just goes with it.

Scott Benner 8:33
Gotcha. He's gone. He's going the Catholic route on you.

Unknown Speaker 8:38
Yeah, he's

Scott Benner 8:39
like, everything's fine. Just keep moving forward. Well, first of all, let me let me say this to you, it does suck. And, you know, I will absolutely sit here and reinforce with you, it sucks. I also don't think that giving a voice to the fact that this isn't a lot of fun, makes you negative, it just makes it it just makes it what it is. You know, I get I hear from my wife sometimes, too, because I think I must wear my emotions right on my face. And I'm probably not completely aware of it. And so you know, just little things happen. Like you make up you make a bolus and you expect it to work and it doesn't work and it goes the wrong way. And I must just express all of that on my face. And my website guide you every time I look at you about this, she's like, I feel like you're just you're mad. I'm like, I'm not mad. I'm just like, you know, I did this and I thought it was gonna work and it didn't. And now I'm starting to do the math that I'm going to be up until two o'clock in the morning. And you know, like it's Yeah, it's irritating.

Unknown Speaker 9:30
Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 9:31
So I have a good I mean, I think I I think I have a good outlook about it. But my outlook still has space for the fact that it socks. Yeah. Well, okay, so if you ever need to tell somebody at socks, tell me I'll agree.

Unknown Speaker 9:43
Okay. Thank you.

Scott Benner 9:46
very welcome. So So does he get what does he managed with like you said needles in the beginning Does he still do Is he still on like MDI, how does he handle?

Christina 9:54
No, so he was diagnosed in September and then December he started Omni pod because for him tubes were like, out of the question. And so he started on Omni pod, you know, three months after being diagnosed, but they never approved a dexcom. For us, his doctor tried and tried, and they just wouldn't approve it on our insurance. And so once he did, you know, once he graduated from residency and became a real doctor,

Scott Benner 10:22
real Doc, he was a doctor, you know, I'm sure you've heard those words from somebody at some point.

Christina 10:27
Yes. It's not as fabulous as it sounds.

Scott Benner 10:30
I have a friend who says that. He's a doctor and his his boys when they were really young, he could see moms in the neighborhood, like trying to like buddy up their daughters, and he's like, I think they're trying to marry off their nine year olds to adopt like, he's like, it's creepy.

Unknown Speaker 10:47
That is creepy. So yeah, no, I

Scott Benner 10:49
know. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Yeah, I gotcha. I'm sorry. But he got the on the pod. You couldn't get to Dexcom he became a real doctor. And what happened? Well, then

Christina 10:58
he finally got the Dexcom. And then we were like, shocked by what you know what happened. And I think he had a lot of like, hypoglycemic episodes at night that we didn't know. And, you know, and I had had another baby, like, a month after diagnosis, I was pregnant with our second and then, you know, so a lot of the times he was on nights and all these different shifts, and he slept alone in the room. And then I would sleep in a room with the baby because he didn't want to be, you know, woken up. And so I had some mornings, I did feel like, oh, let me go check on him. Oh, my gosh, you know, he hasn't come out yet. So those were the only times when I kind of felt scared. But after we saw what was happening, it's a little terrifying.

Scott Benner 11:38
That's definitely how it went for us. Like we were, we got Dexcom back when the beginning of it wasn't as easy. You didn't just go, Hey, I want this and your insurance said yes. And you got it. It was the our doctor put her put on a blind sensor for a week. And we first we had to prove that she needed it. So they said like, well, we'll take our readings for week. And if you know, there's danger going on that'll that'll help you get it through your insurance. And it's like, whatever, yeah, I'm sure it's fine. Like, I'm like, I put her to bed at 190. And she wakes up at, like, 8590 It's perfect. Like, I'm really good at this, don't worry, I don't know how we're never gonna get this, you know, but what it showed was that her blood sugar would fall and sit at 54 hours. And then probably her body, like her liver or whatever, something would kick in morning, you know, the morning, the dawn phenomena would happen or something bounced back up again. So I had that feeling. For a long time, like, this is fine. You know, this is so good. Like, I put her to bed a little high. And she wakes up and it's all good. And I see when I see people talk online about that. Like that always breaks my heart like I'm always like, I want I want to say don't like you should probably test a couple times, right to see what's really happening. Right? You can't spend your time. You know, I can't you can't you can't grab everybody who thinks that. So hopefully people find it out safely. So he finds it out. Gets it Dexcom did it change how he thinks about the diabetes? Do you think?

Christina 12:58
Yeah, I think it changed, you know, every aspect. And you know, when you get the Dexcom, then it does take a lot more of your time because you know what's going on, and then you're treating loads and alarms are going off. And then you know how high you are constantly. So it's like, you know, you You just have to, he's pretty easy to manage the like he barely ever goes above 200

Scott Benner 13:19
is the brand new oven is eat well, and things like that, like stuff that makes it easier.

Christina 13:23
He keeps a really high bazel going and then he knows like there's two points in the day when he crashes. So you know, he doesn't eat a lot, because he's so busy. And he works through lunch and everything. So he kind of knows when to eat a snack. And

Scott Benner 13:38
so he almost he kind of cranks his bazel up in the nose are certain times a day he has to feed the insulin kind of Yeah. Kind of a doctor as you can you say he's internal medicine. Okay. Okay, so Okay, so he's working in an office or in a hospital setting. How's he?

Christina 13:52
He works in the office. He does primary care. Okay,

Scott Benner 13:55
okay. Well, that Yeah, so his day is pretty regimented, then. And that makes sense. Because when Arden's at school, I have a way easier time managing our blood sugar when she's at school than when she's at home. Yeah, because there's less factors. And you can count on things happening at certain times and stuff like that. So Alright, so he's got diabetes for a few years, you're going along? It sounds like you're fairly removed from it. Like it's something he's taking care of on his own. Do you think that he didn't fully explain to you what was going on? Because he was trying to be private? Or do you think that you were just so busy with the baby? Like how to like, because it happens that most adults I talked to don't have a lot of interaction between Yeah,

Christina 14:36
without I think he just, you know, like, with his attitude of, this is fine. And I got I have this taken care of, and it was, you know, sometimes I would see him up at midnight and be like, why are you up? And he said, Well, because I I ate and I need to wait a few hours to see what my blood sugar's doing before I go to sleep. So he was aware of it. You know, knowing that he didn't want to go to bed. You know, too low. Everything but he didn't. I don't know, I didn't even think of it.

Scott Benner 15:03
Yeah, he didn't, he didn't put enough of an explanation together where you could be like, oh, there's more to this than just right. He ate. He's got to wait. So, Alright, so now it looks like but it may be if like four years later, your child's diagnosed from his diagnosis or about a year. Yeah, I

Christina 15:23
think it was 2016. So at the end of 2015, so he was about three years into it, I started noticing. Well, of course, I had, you know, been waking him up in the middle of the night for juice boxes and stuff like that, now that I was hearing alarm, but I was pregnant with my third one at this point.

Scott Benner 15:42
And exhausted by the way, Christina, you're not doing much for that, that calf, that Catholic miss about like, what like, did you? What did they call it? Where they call that Catholic twins, right? Is that what you had? there? Is?

Christina 15:52
No, they're all like about three years apart? So it's not since 2013 2016, you know,

Scott Benner 15:59
are you like, do you dodge him now at this point, like with three kids? Probably you have a stick on the side of the bed.

Christina 16:05
Kill me for saying this. But like I demanded of a sec to me this year. So it happened. Because I you know, I actually wanted more because I'm crazy. But with diabetes and everything. And I know this is like a sensitive subject, but I don't think I would have had my son had I known. I didn't know that the risk was so high either. Like, if the dad has it, the risk is even greater.

Scott Benner 16:26
It gets 10% I think is the is the number it raises your your possible I think 10% is it but I listen, I understand what you're saying. I've always been very open and said here that I think that my wife and I were always planning on having three children. And and that Arden's diagnosis, slow that down, you know, if for no other reason, who would have time or energy to have sex, and but the rest of it, too, I mean, you know, joking aside, it's, it really is I've heard people make the, you know, have the conversation on both sides. And it sounds completely reasonable both ways. Like I, I remember back to like Sam fold as an example. And I was talking to him, and he said, No, I just like, you know, doesn't stop me from having kids. He's like, Look, my life's fine. And I was like, Oh, that's completely clear headed and reasonable. Like, you know, and I've had the feeling where, like, oh, gosh, like, I don't know if I can do it, you know, or you hear people who have two and three kids with type one diabetes, and you're like, Oh my gosh, look, their whole life is like feels like it's this and I don't know, there's you know, it's it's a personal preference for sure. So okay, so so now he's you're giving him juice boxes, because you can hear the next time now. Now, you know, he's low while you're pregnant. Probably really thrilled to be being woken up at night and five

Christina 17:41
year old still not sleeping through the night. So you know, it's it's fun.

Scott Benner 17:44
Yeah. It sounds like a lot of fun. I don't know why you wanted more kids by describing a party, Christina.

Christina 17:52
It gets worse.

Scott Benner 17:53
Okay, well, let's hear it. By the way, I've been married for 21 years. I know it gets worse. But, but seriously, so how old is it? Your daughter was diagnosed then? Yeah, so

Christina 18:06
she had just turned five and in November and then in, you know, around Thanksgiving and stuff, I start noticing that she's peeing a lot at night. She's drinking an obscene amount of water all throughout the day and night, and I didn't really notice the weight loss. But now when I see pictures, I'm like, how could I not see it? Because she was very thin. And, you know, it's just all these things. And I would tell my husband, and he said, Oh, she's just growing. And so he didn't want to face it either. And then Christmas came. And then after Christmas, I was like, this is just getting out of control the amount of food she's eating. Then she started getting leg cramps, which is also what my husband was getting.

Scott Benner 18:48
Yeah. Did you tell him she's either got cancer or diabetes.

Christina 18:53
I was like, you know, so on. And it was like Martin Luther King Day, and she was home from school. And I said, I had been begging her for a week to let me poke her finger. And she was melting down over it. So I was pushing it off. And I just said, I have to do this. So I did it. And it said Hi, which means over 500 for her meter. And then I called my husband at work and I, you know, told him and then I called to get into a pediatrician, she happened to be, you know, covering the clinic that day, because they were off. And so I have to drive her down to a clinic further away. And then the doctor is a personal friend of ours, and they had her pee and she walked in the room. And she looked at me and said, You know, so what brings you guys in today? And I just said, Well, you know, so then she like you looked really horrible inside and said, you know, you need to take her to the ER right away.

Unknown Speaker 19:42
Well, so that is Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:44
that's terrible. And I'm sorry. Yeah, but at the same at the same time. I'm interested to know what happened like I it's interesting to hear what happened to you because I think so many people put off that thing. Like the people who have a husband or a wife or or another child who has type one, they see it coming. And they kind of just don't want it to be, you know, so that you pray, I think it's kind of comforting to hear that a physician and his wife were like, no, it's probably this, it's probably that it's probably, you know, the same thing everyone else does, you know, that horrible feeling of, like, I don't want to, I know what's on the other side of the door, but I don't want to open it and prove it, you know, so maybe we'll just stand in this room forever, and it won't exist, you know? Right. It's, it's, it's comforting. I think we're here to hear that it happened to you too, you know? Yeah. In some strange way. So

Christina 20:36
she's how old when this is good, just turned five. And so she was, you know, she was fine. She didn't have I think she had like mild, maybe moderate ketones, but she was perfectly fine. She was an MDK or anything. And you know, we went to the ER and so they wanted to admit her, but I refused. Because, you know, I'm sitting there pregnant as can be my two year old saw me, my husband was never able to make it to the ER, he wasn't they wouldn't release him from work. And my mom was with me, thankfully. But, you know, so I said, you know, we can handle this can Is there a way to do it outpatient, so we have to drive like about 45 minutes to where they have pediatric endocrinology for us. And so we just did that four days in a row and met with them for about four hours a day. And it was overwhelming, you know, and I couldn't quit crying, I was sobbing hysterically. And I was angry with my husband, which is another sensitive subject, you know, because it's not like, it's his fault. Like, he has to be born with that, you know, or to have this happen to him. But I was angry because it was, you know, it felt like it came from him, right? Yes. And Had I known this, you know, when I married you or something, maybe we wouldn't have had kids? Or maybe you know, like, you just have I don't know,

Scott Benner 21:49
you put your rerunning all your decisions and right, yeah,

Christina 21:54
so it just opens this whole new can of worms, and I have to work through all these feelings of anger. And you know, like, what am I doing now? What about my other kids now? And, you know, and it becomes this horribly overwhelming, because when he was diagnosed, it was like, guy, you know, here, here you go. And then it was like, oh, here's a social worker, here's a, you know, I don't know, like a child development specialist. Here's a nutritionist. Here's the you know, here's the doctor, and here's the nurse, and, you know, you're holding her down. I, you know, I hear people say on your show, like how easy it is and how their kid handles their shots. Well, well, this was not the case for us. I mean, it was like, I mean, I remember sitting outside, begging her, like, you have to take this and I have to tell my five year old you're either gonna die, or you're going to let mommy give you this injection because this is what's gonna keep you alive now and having to tell your daughter that at the age of five, but it totally changed after that. Then she kind of realized the, you know, the seriousness of

Scott Benner 22:52
it. Yeah. This lady's not just trying to poke me cuz she's more. And yeah, no, I hear you. I've, you know, I've said before, Arden was never really thrilled with shots. And there were times where I had to, like, sit on her to give her injections and things like that, you know, like, actually hold her down to do it. Because she would just run if you didn't, right. And you know, even to this day, at 13 when she's she's pretty good with like changing sights and stuff like that. But you can still say she tenses up a little bit. And it's still not even though she's like, it doesn't. At this point. She's like, it doesn't hurt but I can't not tense up. Yeah, I'm like, No, I understand. This is my gosh, at this point, what are we talking about here? This is 11 or more years later, and it's still, you know, it's not just free and easy for

Unknown Speaker 23:39
right?

Scott Benner 23:39
I get the end, how do you? How do you rationalize with a five year old like, you made me think when you said it, you know, you had to be like, Look, you're gonna die if we don't do this. It might sound really harsh to people. But I remember the first time my son made a made an all star baseball team. He was like it was the summer he was six years old. And I remember dropping them off at the first practice and kind of like leaving him alone, let them be there. And at the end, he scooped him up, and we're walking over to the car. And I said, you know, what did you think? How was it? He said, he was really excited. He loved it. And he said, but the coach kept saying this thing, because I didn't know what he was talking about. I was like, Well, what maybe I could explain it to you because he won't, he said that we should all be more aggressive. And I was like, yeah, so you know, be more aggressive. He's like, well, what is aggressive mean? And I thought, Oh, he sex. There's a word he's never heard before. Right? He has no context and any has no context for it. So he does spend time. Like I forget how I ended up doing I think I ended up using like a tiger as an analogy as like, imagine if you know, there was a tiger and it attacks something. I'm like, the act of attacking that act is aggressive. That's aggressive. And then I broke it down into other ways into sports metaphors. Took the entire ride home to explain a word to my six year old. Yeah, you know, and like so how do you how do you take a five year old and say, hey, look, there's this medicine. There's this thing inside of your body, it stopped working. It's just like, like there's that's a lot of information for a five year old and That's why it's such a weird spot because Artem was too. And she was diagnosed. She didn't know we just did. Well at five. You kids got context. She can talk. You don't mean like, like, she's she's going, Wow, this was not happening to me last week. You know, it's not pleasant. It's a it's a very strange and you're pregnant. How pregnant were you when she was diagnosed?

Christina 25:21
Well, that was January, and I had them in May. So.

Scott Benner 25:24
So anyway, yeah. So you were in second trimester? Yeah. Hormones happening. All that stuff. husband's a doctor. Yeah, there's a lot going on. you're by yourself with those kids and the pregnancy and yeah, gosh, and then you

Christina 25:39
know, having to hold her down. And it's just, it's just horrible to do. And so luckily, you know, because of him being a physician and stuff, they moved us along, because they don't normally let people start pumps so quickly, but within a month we were on a pump. Does she like that better?

Scott Benner 25:54
Did she use the same pump that her dad Susan or no?

Christina 25:57
Well, we use the Animas. Well, she's on Omni pod now, but we did use the animals, our insurance actually doesn't cover Omni pod. And so we pay out of pocket for it. And so we went with the one first and we liked it, and I act, there's something that I actually miss about it when I switch to Omnipod. Okay, but I definitely don't miss the technology because they were so behind.

Unknown Speaker 26:23
And that's that is the company that's going out.

Christina 26:28
But the canula, I think is where we struggle the most, because she used the needle infusion set before. And so I think we have more issues now with absorption and stuff like that, that we didn't have with a needle set. But do you just change more frequently? When

Scott Benner 26:41
you get it must be hard as you're paying cash, but you must just change it more frequently.

Christina 26:45
If Yeah, well, we do if we have to. But I mean, even just doing slight changes is just horrible for ya. Know,

Scott Benner 26:53
I hear that she still has issues with it. Arden doesn't like said on the pod clicks before it goes in, right and so. But the insertion doesn't always happen on the same click and artwork. allergen counts them. And she's like, 1234, and she'll get the five and one five doesn't happen. You can see she's like, in that gap of time where Oh, my God, that didn't happen. But it happens. And I have to be perfectly honest, if it wasn't. So if it wasn't something she didn't like, I would have to let I do laugh at her something happened, something Solaris. I think I know we've changed this pump every three days. Since you were four, like we she said on the podcast. She's four. I'm like, so what are we talking about here? like seven, eight years, right? Maybe more at this point? And I was like, are you really surprised by it? She goes, No, it doesn't hurt. And she has no and I'm like, What is all this about? She's like, I don't know. I think is your daughter gets older, I said this to a couple people. And you've probably heard me say it to them. But I'll say it to you because I think you maybe need to hear it. By the time aren't done using shots. I calculated that I probably stuck her in some way shape, or form. But over 10,000 times, and a couple of years, like into on the pod. We want to she got sick one day, and I thought I couldn't tell if the pod was not you know, just needed to be changed or if she was resistant to insulin. So I thought well, I'm gonna inject some insulin. And I thought well, because if our blood sugar moves real quickly, then I'll change your pump. And if it doesn't, then it's not the pump, and she just needs more insulin. Excuse me. So I get out the syringes that we have are kind of like backups, jammed way down in a drawer somewhere I pull one out, I draw some up, I tell her, Hey, I'm going to give you some insulin with this. And she just looks at it. Like she just she'd never seen it before in her whole life. And she goes, What is that? And I said it's a needle I'm going to give you the insulin with and she's like how, like just like really? Like, what are you even talking about? Like I get my insulin through that pump? You know? Yeah. And I explained it to her. She had literally no recollection of ever having a needle in her entire life. So maybe your daughter will, maybe a lot of it will go for dinner. I mean, like it was impactful on her as you're imagining. It's probably more of the the sadness on your side. But I have to tell you, too, I don't I don't remember that sadness anymore very much either. So there will be a day where this all doesn't exist for you get you don't even good. Yeah.

Christina 29:17
Yeah, I think it is harder for the parent sometimes than it is for the kid. But

Scott Benner 29:22
it absolutely can be like there's no I've admitted here before. I've never given myself a shot. I've never tested my blood sugar. I've never inserted a pod or Dexcom or none of that because I always thought if it hurt, then I'd know it hurt like and then I would know what it felt like and then how would I do it? Give me like at least now I have this veil of ignorance. And I know that everybody doesn't agree with me on this, but I had this veil of ignorance. I don't know what it feels like. And I am the one who's supposed to be doing this. Like I'm the doctor in this little situation in our life, right like I can't, I can't cut your leg open with a scalpel. If I know what it feels like, maybe like you don't like so i just i have to do this thing. I think it's better for me not to completely know what it feels like. And I'm sure some people agree and some people don't agree. That's how it always struck me. So, yeah, I definitely get how hard because it was very, it was hard for me to like I would, you know, do something and then go cry. And then, you know, come back and, and be like, everything's fine. Everything's great. I'm not crying. Now, I totally get it. Well, in your email, this is funny, people won't know how to you won't know how to like make sense at this time. We're recording this in November of 2017. You and I started talking in June of 2017. This probably won't post until February or March of 2018. So it'll almost be 10 months since we actually spoke the first time. But in your initial email, you said that the podcast sometimes feels like therapy for you. Yeah. And I was wondering how so. earlier in the show, I told you a little bit about the Omni pod insulin pump. And now I'm going to tell you a little more. Today I want to focus on the ease of use for the Omni pod. So not only is it tubeless, and wireless, so the personal diabetes manager doesn't actually in any way connect to the pump itself. It's wireless. And the pump itself doesn't have any tubing. So, you know, how does it do that you might be wondering, it's pretty simple. The Omni pod is just this tiny little device that you fill with insulin applied to your skin and then press start on your personal diabetes manager. It inserts the candle automatically and begins delivering your insulin all with a touch of a button. It is actually as simple as I just made it sound Arden's been using it since she was four years old. And next month, she will be 14 years old 10 years we've been using the alley pod, it is spectacular. Please go to Juicebox podcast.com and click on the links. Or there are links in the show notes to your podcast app. But in the end, you need to go to my omnipod.com forward slash juice box and they're on the pod we'll set you up with a free no obligation demo pod. But you can actually apply a pod to yourself and wear it and see what you think there's no risk doesn't cost you anything. And I'm telling you after 10 years, you couldn't make a better decision. My omnipod.com Ford slash juice box with the links in your show notes or at Juicebox podcast.com. Also, if you'd like to see the new personal diabetes manager from Omni pod, the new dash PDM I'll put a link in the show notes for that too. I have some pictures back on my blog. You said that the podcast sometimes feels like therapy for you. And I was wondering how so?

Christina 32:48
Well, I think it's just because you you know, you live in your little bubble. And for me, like we've tried to make other friends with type one or other families. So you have some type of somebody that understands because people, no matter how much they want to they don't understand what your life is like or what you go through. You know, and you hear people whining that, oh, their kid was sick. So they had to stay up with them last night, you're like, well, that's my life every day.

Scott Benner 33:15
You know, find compassion for them. And yeah, did that happen to you once this year?

Christina 33:21
you for saying? Yeah. So to hear other people and just even like you said, Just hearing other people's stories of diagnosis or how it, you know, unfolded for their family, or how they're dealing with it or anything, it gives you that, you know, kind of sense that there's other people out there doing it, you know, struggling with the same things and that we're all you know, we're spread out across the country and across the world. But we're all in it together still. And just to hear that just gives you like, I don't know, kind of a sense of relief or to hear other people's they they're struggling with something that you're struggling with or you know, makes you feel like you're not doing it wrong, right,

Scott Benner 33:59
you can have that feeling like, Oh my gosh, I'm struggling, I must not understand something about this. But when you find out that that's something that happens to everybody, maybe it's part of a growing process or a learning process takes a lot It takes a lot of the guilt away.

Christina 34:13
And then you know, you help all the time, like you say how it doesn't get easier, you just get insanely better at dealing with it or you know, you say, you know, don't beat yourself up and you're you know, you're constantly giving the kind of things out there that I think people need to hear. And if you're listening to it after you've had a particularly rough night or day, it's just you know, it's therapeutic to hear that, you know, everything's gonna be fine and it's, you'll get this and you know, start over you always say start over that's in the past. It's done. I think you should do like, like, Scott's best advice episode,

Scott Benner 34:49
but then we'd have to say it's not advice.

Unknown Speaker 34:51
I just call it what you should plug in

Scott Benner 34:54
best advice. Not really advice. I have considered just putting Together, it's like, these are the episodes that people find the most valuable. I actually, I actually might put a call out to people and have them tell me what their five favorite episodes are. So we can sort of because, you know, because the other thing is too is like, I'm the one making the podcast sometimes. After I go back and I edit it, I have a chance to listen to it again. It's been months since I've recorded it when that happens. And I listen, I'll be like, this person was great. Which is why you'll hear me on like, the beginning of the episode. This is like the best episode because it's not that I have like, you know, a memory problem. And that I didn't just say that two weeks ago, but for me, like I hear it again. I'm like, Oh, this was great. Like, I forgot how great this was. Or even in the midst of saying, like having the conversation. It didn't strike me right away. That something someone said was so impactful, or at times, you know, humbly like I'll say something that later I'll hear and I go, Wow, that was really smart. Like, I didn't know that when I was saying it.

Christina 35:52
I actually write things down that you say, and I keep them to go back and read them sometimes. Oh,

Scott Benner 35:57
I I'm embarrassed and touched very early like that. I always tell people, it's like, Can we just get my wife on here real quick. So she can I had a private phone call with somebody last week. And she was going online about what the podcast mentor. I think there was part of me like this little just childish part of me that like I wanted to put it on speakerphone and be like, Listen, other people how they think about. But it's also very, you also don't have to live with me, Christina, you are you very much might not like me, either. If you had to spend the whole weekend this. Just kidding. I think my wife likes me. I can't it's hard to tell. And so well, let me let me so that's really I first of all, I'm really great to hear that the podcast does that for you. So it makes me feel like it must do it for other people too. which I find really, like, it's heartwarming. But you said something that I just found really super interesting. Like you tried to make type one friends. So imagine that like when you go out to make friends. First of all, making friends as an adult is not that simple. And then then when you put parameters on it like well, these people have to be probably near my age have kids near my age have similar interests as us they got to be as excited to go see for this weekend as I am, you know, or an arthouse movie, not for like whatever it ends up being I wouldn't I like this kind of food. And then on top of that you narrow your field down by plus I have type one diabetes. That's like Craigslist kind of stuff. Like how are you ever gonna find anybody that? Can you? I picture you at a dinner party going to your husband? I really like these people find out if they have diabetes.

Christina 37:35
You're making me sound crazy. No.

Scott Benner 37:38
Listen, I'm gonna tell you what I tell my wife. You're doing that yourself. No. I'm just kidding. She's not crazy. You're not crazy. It was just a cheap joke. But, but but but you're not. But you're, I understand what you're saying. Like you're looking for this person. who cannot just be a friend. Yeah, but but understand what's happening, you know,

Christina 37:55
more so for my daughter, because she asked, you know, so we did meet a boy, that's nine that has type one. And that was the first type one she met. And she just thinks it's the most amazing thing ever, that there's someone like her like she can't even grasp. You know that there's people out there like her and we haven't taken her to camp because it's it's hours away. And it's kind of inconvenient to get that week off. And then to do that with all the kids, you know, the family camp?

Scott Benner 38:18
Yeah. Where are you at in the country.

Christina 38:21
We're in California, in Northern California. So they do have a camp, but it's like, in the central California. It's a three four hour drive, which is not fun with little kids. And you know, it's just not something by on our list right now.

Scott Benner 38:37
Drive four hours home and you're four hours away, then. Yeah, when she's at the camp, and if you have an issue, that's how far she you know, it's funny. My daughter has never been to diabetes camp. And yet I've had people on here who talked about it directors from camps, people have gone, they all find it to be the most amazing thing. When I talked to Arden about it, she doesn't seem to be in any way interested in it. And so I'm like, Alright, well, I think my kids just not a camp person. Like, like, take the diabetes out of it. Right? Like, when you're like, hey, so we'll take you to this place for a week and a cabin and you can already see. She's just like, whoa, wait, what have I done something wrong? You know, like, like, Am I being punishment? I don't need to leave that. I got Netflix here. I don't understand what you're saying. Why do I have to go?

Unknown Speaker 39:22
with artists?

Scott Benner 39:22
Yeah. I don't think she's a camper at heart. Yeah, the last vacation we took that was just in Vermont. We rented a house for a few days. And the house was wonderful. And they were still like, way too much nature. And I was like, Okay, all right. So I think my kids are more of I think they're more beat. They're more beach people to be perfectly honest. So and that even has been our our family getaway for years. You know, we don't go every year. It's way too expensive to do that. But we've been a handful of times to St. JOHN in the Virgin Islands. And now it's been hit so hard by the hurricanes that I don't even genuinely know if it's there to visit or not. You Yeah, so Okay, let's not let so let's let's kind of like regroup for a second. Well,

Christina 40:07
let me tell you what I have done. So you don't think I'm so crazy? Oh, first of all,

Scott Benner 40:11
no one thought you were crazy. Again, just a cheap joke. This is a really great episode, you are being really honest, I don't think you're crazy at all. But tell me more than I'll follow.

Christina 40:19
Well, I, so we, I reached out to the school nurses, right. And we have a lot of schools in our city. And ironically, my daughter goes to a private school, and 30 minutes away in another town, which has its own set of issues with diabetes, and that they don't have a school nurse. And, you know, that's a whole nother can of worms, but I'm trying to manage it from far away, but I reached out to the school nurses and I, you know, I said, I'm trying to start this group, you know, for our county, and, you know, just with parents so we can get together, we can get our kids together, maybe we can have some education or something, you know, I'm, I have my Master's in Public Health, and I did the health promotion, health education. So I was kind of routing it that way. But nobody responds. And parents just start kind of interested. So I think everyone's so busy with their own life, that it's hard enough just to deal with, you know, everything they have going on in their family that that's how the world's going on, it's hard to get people together. Often.

Scott Benner 41:16
I agree, I, I am a stay at home dad to two kids, one of them has diabetes, I do this podcast. And other than that, I pretty much vacuum and grocery shop and do things like that. And I've been trying to get together with a friend of mine for lunch for like six months, and I can't seem to make it happen. And so I get that. And I also get the how much all those people would love it. If you guys did get together once in a while. And you know, I'll have to think about how to i, it's, it's going a little slower than I hope but we're really thinking of like taking the podcast out into the world and doing it in front of like a group. So I'll be doing it. In March, I think in New Jersey at a at a jdrf conference. And I have a phone call tomorrow, about one in January in Arizona, which by the time people here, this will have happened a long time ago. But But I just think i think that the conversation you and I are having, but with a bunch of people who could all, you know, have like, like maybe a little micro conversations with me back and forth. And like we're doing now and then move on to something else. By the time everybody got through their question. My imagination says that all everyone's question would pretty much encompass what everybody's thinking get out. Yeah. And I think that would be really cool. I don't know if you heard the last episode number 168. But it was an interview and a review of the Dexcom g six. Here's how it was an interview, review and interview, if you will, I had Jake leech on he's the Senior Vice President of Research and Development for Dexcom. And I basically gave Jake my feelings about having used the GS six now for the past four or five weeks. And then Jake was there to give us a deep dive into how some of the things that I asked about work, I thought it was interesting, I hope you heard it. And if you didn't, you should go check it out. But I bring it up, because it's gonna give you a lot of information about the new Dexcom g six. And that's what this ad is about. If you go on the link in your show notes, or Juicebox podcast.com, or just go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box there, you'll be able to get all the information you need in the world about the glucose monitor that is the center of everything you hear about here on the podcast. You know, it's easy to say yeah, I want to be able to see my kids blood sugar while they're at school or my mother's blood sugar. While she's in Florida, I don't know where people go or why they do things. But it is nice to be able to see their blood sugar when they're not with you. That is good. I love that. I think it's great to know what direction your blood sugar is moving in and how fast it's going. It can be a real safety feature as well while I'm sleeping. But in the end, to me the real focus of what the dexcom g six is, is this. You need to understand where your blood sugar is, where it's going and how fast it's going to get there to make good decisions about your health. The Dexcom opens up a world of information that allows you to make those decisions simply easily and effectively. Definitely go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box or click on the link in the show notes to find out more. She really talked about in your email like burnout. You said there was one specific episode was it super Stephanie was that the one yeah. Yeah. And and you said that it just really helped you. Where were you at that point before you heard it before you heard that episode?

Christina 44:38
Um, you know, I think that I'm just kind of really, I still feel burned out to be honest, but I just kind of keep it in because people in my family do not like to hear that. You know, it's like you're not allowed to feel this. This is just go on with the day and that's it. So it's, it's I just feel overwhelmed. With alarms constantly going off, my husband sleeps through his he sleeps through my daughter's and then you know, the baby being born and then having, you know, breastfeeding a baby, you're up all night anyways, breastfeeding that requires more and you know, just everything going on. And my daughter also has a hole in her heart. So she needs she's going to need surgery to fix that at some point. So

Scott Benner 45:22
we've gone through that her whole life. And then Christina, which was the second which you were just like, oh, not only that, which child is the child with diabetes are different? Yeah. She's losing the luck lottery. So So is that something that we're not worried about? In the moment, it's just as to get to a certain growth spot before it can get fixed?

Christina 45:40
Yeah. So she, when we she was born, she was born in New York City. We were there for three years. And then we moved on to Connecticut for three years. And he worked in Massachusetts, but we lived in Connecticut. And, you know, we were seeing they found it when she was six months, she had a murmur, they sent us to a specialist. They were pushing us for open heart surgery, this needs to be done Now. Now. Now I met with someone at NYU, I couldn't stand the surgeon, he was so arrogant. I told there's no way he's touching my daughter. And the idea of them stopping your child's heart cutting in and then putting her on bypass and circulating the blood. You know, this is not high on my list,

Unknown Speaker 46:13
since to do with somebody with my

Christina 46:16
firstborn, who I'm super protective of. And, you know, somebody that just rubbed me really the wrong way.

Scott Benner 46:22
And so one of the other options was to wait a little longer.

Christina 46:25
Well, so we were he was ending his. He was graduating and starting residency. So I said, Let's wait and we'll we'll find a new doctor in Massachusetts, you know, Boston Children's is there, it's the best. And so we found another doctor, and they came up with completely different numbers and said, it's not as big as they were saying, I don't know why they were saying this. And so I was like, You're crazy. So we go to another doctor. And they said, it's not that big. So then we went to Boston Children's, and you know, they were like, Oh, she's totally purse candidate to do a cath lab procedure instead of open heart surgery, and she can wait until school age. That's great. So now we just had follow up, and they said, she might even be able to wait till she's in her 20s to close this.

Scott Benner 47:05
So that's really something in that first guy was just like, just I'll just cut her chest open, and it'll all be fine. Yeah, as well. You did you sniff them out? You did the right thing. Does that help you with the diabetes too? Like, how often are you with an endocrinologist who says something that you're like, I don't think that's right.

Christina 47:23
I'm an endocrinologist. Don't bother me. The dietitians kind of drive me crazy.

Scott Benner 47:29
What do they want from you?

Christina 47:31
Well, I just think that they're not realistic in life. I mean, they, they really annoy me, Scott. It's like at the last meeting, if I so we had this nurse that we really loved. And she moved to a different site. And so then they started seeing patients here one day a week in our town, and I just didn't, I think your relationship with the nurses more important with the doctor, the doctor comes in for a few minutes. And you know, says, All right, maybe we can make this change or looks, everything's great. Right? So the nurse is more important with this nurse here, I just wasn't feeling it. And then the dietician last time, it's just like, gas, I'm feeding her, you know, yogurt in the morning, or cereal, and that is just so sugar laden, and I wouldn't feed that to my daughter. And, you know, it's just like, they always come in. And for some reason, they're like these anorexic older skinny women that look like they barely ever eat.

Scott Benner 48:28
All you have to do is eat this kelp. It's great, you'll learn to love it. So you know, that makes me think of what you're saying makes me think of, I love it when somebody's standing in front of me in like this person's perfect physical condition. And they're like, you could do this too, what you just need to do is you have to quit your job. And you work out about 19 hours a day, and you just run and you eat this and you drink this protein. And I'm like, Wait, is that what you do to be like that I'm like, I would like to be more in shape. But I can't, I can't do that. Like, I think some people are lucky enough in either their constitution or their, or their situation, where they can put themselves in almost a perfect situation to accomplish this thing. Right, which is great. But if we all were Instagram, workout models, then none of the other things in the country would get done. And so like we all can't do that. And I think sometimes it's almost like you forget, you would be pulled over by a police officer who gives you the letter of the law. And you're like, I do agree with you and con, you know, in theory, but here are these other things you're not considering. But they always have the law on their side. They're always able to go, No, no, this is how it goes. Because this is what the law says. I think that the dietitians do the same thing. They go look in this perfect situation. If you exactly did this, then everything would be great. And we're like Yeah, but this isn't the real world. The real world is I have three kids, and they're all hungry and I you know, I am like how am I gonna do all that? You know, so once in a while my kids gonna get a bowl of cereal. And then I got it and then not that I feel great about the cereal to begin with. And then I have to sit down and listen to you tell me that it's bad. I already knew it was bad. Yeah. Don't go to those. Yeah.

Christina 50:06
So I called the nurse that you know that I'm like, and I said, Look, I'm gonna drive all the way over there to see you at this new site, because I can't handle this stuff anymore because we had had it before to where we would see the doctor. And then they would say you have any more questions, we'd say, No, we'd leave. So the four hour appointment went down to like, 45 minutes. And now this new site, they, they don't Oh, and they don't know what Omni pod is. They don't know how it works. They're overwhelmed. Where's her data, and I'm having to give it to them. And you know, it's just like, overwhelming for them.

Unknown Speaker 50:36
And tax.

Christina 50:39
It's just like, so he agreed to let us go every six months now, because this is ridiculous to go every three months, for a one sees fine. I mean, I, you know, and it's, it's 7.1 I'd like it to be better. I'm working towards it being better. But, you know, like, the doctor told me last time, you know, you need to relax. He said, I think what you're looking for is an A plus, and you have an A so just, you know,

Scott Benner 51:02
calm down. If you can keep the variability out. I don't I can't disagree with that, like, as long as as long as her blood sugar is not like 300 for a few hours, and then a 70 for a few hours. And that's how you're getting your your middle ground number. I think if you can keep the variability, the up and down out of the blood sugar, seven ones amazing.

Christina 51:21
Like, they're very, they're very against the lows, you know, and I told him the last time I said, you know, what, show me the evidence of that, you know, having lows every now and you know, every now and then. But unfortunately, it's a little more than every now and then. But how low

Scott Benner 51:37
are we talking about?

Christina 51:39
In the 650 60s, most of the time in the 60s. Oh,

Scott Benner 51:43
um, so I would tell you that I don't like Arden's blood sugar to get under 70. But when it's 65, I don't think it's low. I just get it back up again. Right when she's if she hits a 50. And I can bounce it right back again, I don't think twice about that. If she has 50 and sits there I work very hard to get out to grow quickly.

Christina 52:03
You know, I do things now like I said it at the alert sometimes at night, I'll set it to go off at 100. So that way, yeah, because I'd rather be able to stop her bazel and instead of having to wake her up and give her juice because inevitably it's like this with her. She's very sensitive. So you stop her pump. And she usually reacts very quickly. Pretty quick stuff. Yeah. But you know, otherwise you give juice and then it's this ping pong and it's like, should I give insulin? Should I not give insulin? Sometimes I do and then it backfires on me. And then you know, you're needing more juice. And so

Scott Benner 52:38
yeah, I'm actually gonna give me a second. I'm gonna turn the balls here for a second.

Unknown Speaker 52:46
So

Scott Benner 52:49
I know exactly exactly what you're talking about. And we go through the exact same things here. I think giving yourself the the warning. Giving yourself time to do something with the basal rate is such a such a great way to handle it, because it also nobody wants to be drinking juice in their sleep. And yeah, stocks, you know, like it all really does. And so yeah, I definitely try to do as much as I can with with manipulating through the base of this morning art and got up this morning. She was upstairs, I was downstairs, packing her lunch and she was upstairs. And I saw her blood sugar at 95. And now she'd been going up in the mornings. So I watched and the arrow never changed. So the arrow was still always straight across. It wasn't diagonal up or up or anything. Let me get a drink. And, but then the next time it refresh, she was like 98 and she was 103. And then I said, ooh, it's happening. Like she's going to go up here. So I said to her when she answers it real quick before you stuff everything in your backpack. I think I had her Bolus, like point eight or something like that. And she's like, my blood sugar is like 100 I'm like, it doesn't matter. It's gonna go up. So Bolus the point and it worked. And she was just like 110 like all morning, and she started to drift up again right before lunch. And I actually didn't do anything about I let her drift up to like 140 and then we just gave her this, this great Bolus, this Pre-Bolus Now she needs like now it's been let's see 20 it's been like two hours and 40 minutes later and she needs another half a unit because she just as you and I are talking I saw her drift up to 160 and so we just bought again and my goal is she'll be home in about an hour and I'd like her to be back down around 90 because she's going to come in the house hungry and want a snack and all that other stuff. So I love the idea of manipulating the bazel I think it's one of the absolutely most undervalued tools in a if you have an insulin pump, you know you're just definitely can make so many great adjustments with the basal insulin. Good to see you're doing well. Like you're you're I mean seven one you've got it figured out you got 33 kids that's a problem but but I mean and the husband is seems a little focused on being a doctor which I am matches what being a doctor is. And that sucks, do you feel because you started to talk earlier, and I wanted to get into it. And at the same time, I was like, I don't want to, like ruin this person's life. But at the same time, like, you feel I know how you feel right now, like you feel alone, right? Like everyone's looking to you for something, not just the medical stuff, but the medical stuff seems bigger, it feels bigger. It feels like you're sort of in charge of the of people's life and death decisions and their long term health and it's a lot of pressure. And then your husband's got his diabetes on his own. So he probably feels like he's already doing this. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, so you're your daughter, but you're also worried about him? You've got these other two kids holding the heart mom somewhere, you got a lot going on.

Unknown Speaker 55:45
On that allergy.

Scott Benner 55:46
Do you really? What is that to say?

Christina 55:48
My, my middle child is allergic to nuts, you know, so I say,

Scott Benner 55:52
go for adoption. That's enough.

Christina 55:55
Free playground, you know, glucagon audit, epi pens, got it. You know, like, come to me if something's wrong,

Scott Benner 56:02
I can save like, 15 different people's lives. If you guys need anything, I have a bag full of stuff over. But But is that about? Right? Does it just feel like, it all kind of falls to you? Right?

Christina 56:12
Yeah, it does. And then, you know, like, I have, I mean, not to get too much into, but it's like, you know, I gave up working when I was and gave up nursing school, when I found out I was pregnant with my first one. And then it wasn't planned. So it was kind of a surprise, and that kind of, you know, my life's been on hold for eight years, and I'm ready to kind of do something more than be, you know, listen to everyone, and do you know, meet everyone's needs? So I'm kind of starting to feel like, you know, like, what about me? Yeah, you know,

Scott Benner 56:41
it's a common Listen, if it makes you feel any better. It's not gender related. either. I have the same exact, I didn't think that I would be a stay at home parents still when my when my last child was 13. Yeah, you know, but you look at our day, and how things go and what my wife's job requires ever, and it's just, we both couldn't get up and leave in the morning, it just wouldn't work. Right. And so here I am, I'm going to be a stay at home dad until I'm 50. And then I'm sure the working world will open its arms right back up to where I can become a cashier. It's not, you know, I mean, I'm assuming, right? Like, that'll be like pretty much what I can shoot for. And it's just, it's just one of those things like, it is hard not to feel like your life is passing you by, you know, while you're taking care of other people, which is why I've talked before about having to find, like some really deep meaning in taking care of your family, so that it doesn't feel like you're just performing tasks. That right there's a bigger a bigger thing for you like, I mean, I hope you could find that or maybe have but

Christina 57:51
I think we only way out of it. To be honest. We had some people over for dinner, they were all doctors and actors, friends. And one of them was talking to me kind of just mentioning, kind of saying that he kind of understands what I go through. And then he looked at me and he said, What an honor to be able to take care of your family. And it made me feel so horrible, because I'm like, that should be how I'm looking at it. But that's not how I feel most days. Just like what an

Scott Benner 58:15
honor and you're like, actually, I was thinking of putting all these people in a sack and throw them in there. So is that okay? We can we all go out to the garage for a second sit in the car and listen to some music. Let's start the car to stay warm. Everybody look over the bridge. A little farther, a little farther. I hear what you're saying. And again, that's um, that's that's just like the nutritionists really that that that's advice from a from a an academic place? isn't an honor to take care of your family like this? Well, yeah, sure it is. Except that doesn't take into account any of the real world things that are happening to me, right. And, you know, wouldn't it be if your kid just ate the celery for lunch? Or blood sugar would never move? Well, yeah, that's great. You talk my five year old into eating the salad every day. You know, like that kind of an idea. And yet you get the intent of what the person said to you. Because, again, academically I do feel like that. Like, it is really great, but there are definitely days where you just like no one listens to me. I'm like invisible here. Yeah, I'm just the person who makes things happen. Right? You're just you're just you're the switcher that makes the trains run on time. Nobody. Nobody ever gets on the train and thinks I really should find the guy that made sure this train was on time and thank him like right right never works that way. You know you think the you know you think the guy running the train because it seems like he's doing it but it turns out he's not there's somebody behind the scenes doing it. And that's you It's me. It's everybody who's in our position and I do think that it is largely a thankless job that you have to find your own thanks and because it to think that you're that my 13 year olds gonna stop and be like, Hey dad, right on good job with this. Yeah, like, she's just like trying to get to the next thing, do her homework, brush your teeth go to bed, she's got her own stuff she's trying to remember, you know, it's it's as fulfilling as it is crappy, kind of, like, you know,

Christina 1:00:14
I think also it you know, that's where the show helps me too, because it's like, there was a diabetes educator on not too long ago. And, you know, she was talking about how their brains aren't developed till they're 25. And they need their parents help. And of course, I know this, I've taken these classes, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, you know, like, and then I hear you say, how you're in the background, helping art and you guys were at a birthday party or something. And she, you saw her look on the look on her face, and you were just like, I got this, you know, eat what you want? Or do what you, you know, I'll be back here. And they do need us. And it's an extreme, it's a huge burden that they're going to live with for the rest of their life. So if we could, you know, take some of it off of them for now, why they are, you know, just being a child. You know, that's,

Scott Benner 1:01:00
it seems important. Oh, yeah. Right. It's, it seems very important to do I think you're right, I feel that way. I do think there's stuff to learn trial by fire stuff. But it doesn't have to be every day all day long. It doesn't have to be at the expense of their a one c two, which is, which is when you hear other people talk about like, hey, my son's that he's 15. He's doing this by himself. He's doing greatest plays a once he's like eight, I'm like, well, but you know, it's it's amazing. A 15 year old, maintaining an eight a one seat is crazy. Good. But what if you, you know, what, if you were in the mix a little bit, like, would it be a seven? And could he still be learning, you know what I mean? Like, and so that's more how I think about it. And then I probably trend a little bit to the other side where, where I take a little more on, like, there's, you know, last night Arden's blood sugar last night, was like 135. And it got real sticky. Like overnight at 135, about four in the morning, like it went up, I bolused, it didn't come back down, it needed more bazel. And I stayed up for about 45 minutes or an hour to make sure I got it back to where I wanted it to be. And a lot of people might hear that and go look at my kids blood sugar was 145 instead of overnight, I'd be sleeping. And I get that. And there are nights, by the way that I'm so exhausted, I don't do it. But if I can, I will do anything, just try to steal some agency points where you can just kind of feel that. So I think you're doing great. I mean, listen, you have a lot going on, like you genuinely genuinely do and and for how much you have going on. The one thing you're not giving yourself credit for is you're aware of it. Like you're aware of how you feel, and you're aware of what how you want to feel, and you're aware of what your goals are. That's probably most of the battle, you'd be surprised at how many people are in your situation, who just think everything is going great. They just ignore stuff and think nothing of it, like you're aware of it. And I think that's most of it, I think you'll find your way through the rest of it. But because you're aware of what your what your goal is, I don't know if you feel that way or not. But I think you should for literally nobody and I shouldn't be even saying that to you. But it seems to me like you. It's just a big difference. Like, you know, there's a difference between being overwhelmed and being crazy, right? Crazy. People think they're crazy. They're just like, I'm fine. Everybody else is wrong. You know, but if you're just a little overwhelmed, you go Look, I understand that how I feel right now it's not. It's not It's not my goal. Like I do want to feel honored to take care of my family. You know, like the good, but at the moment, I don't but at least it's visible you can get to it.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:33
Yeah, it seems to me,

Unknown Speaker 1:03:34
oh, what's going on? Some

Scott Benner 1:03:37
alarms on my phone going off that I genuinely don't know what they're for. But we've been talking for 59 minutes, so maybe we'll just call it the end of the podcast alarm. And that'll be that'll be the end of it. Did we not cover anything that you were hoping to talk about?

Christina 1:03:51
No, no, you know, I didn't really come into it with me, like map or anything like that. I was more concerned about what I was going to be able to say.

Scott Benner 1:04:00
That's excellent, because I think that they go much better when nobody pre planned So

Unknown Speaker 1:04:04
yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:04:04
thought this was great. And thank you very much. I really appreciate you coming on. If you would give me a second to stop the recording. I'd love to say thank you in person. Wow, thank you so much Christina for being so incredibly open and honest. This was a real gift for people who get to listen Thank you also to Dexcom and to Omni pod for sponsoring the show. It goes without saying but without the ads. I can't bring you the show without the show. You don't hear Christina etc etc Circle of Life kind of stuff. Thank you very much for your support. You can go to my on the pod.com Ford slash juice box or dex calm calm Ford slash juice box to find out more.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:45
Oh, one last thing.

Scott Benner 1:04:46
I really appreciate you listening. I'll see you next week.