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Scott Benner 0:00
This is Episode 144 of the Juicebox Podcast. today's podcast is brought to you by Dexcom and Omni pod, you can go to my omnipod.com forward slash juice box, or dexcom.com forward slash juice box to learn more, there are links in your show notes.

This episode of the podcast is with Nickie, Nickie is the mother of a child with Type One Diabetes. She contacted me and want to talk about how she overcame her fear, just fear in general around type one, very much towards the end of the episode, this one's a little longer than some of the other ones. We learned that will has an issue with growth hormone related to maybe celiac disease. I'm not 100% sure I'm not a doctor, as you know. But, you know, this one sort of seems like it's ending when it kind of picks back up again. So kind of make it to the end. Plus, if you're one of those people who loves to hear Arden's lunchtime boluses This one was actually long enough where you'll hear the bolus and the progress of it all the way through to the end. And you can actually find out what our blood sugar is at the end of the podcast. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before being bold with insulin. I think the warning maybe makes a good t shirt. I see you guys talking about this on Facebook and social media more than anything else. Somebody asked me a question. They're always like, I know this doesn't constitute advice. And then medical or otherwise, then there's always a lot of smiley faces. So I appreciate you guys listening. Alright, let's get right to Nikki.

I appreciate you contacting me and one to one to do that. So thank you very much. Oh, you're

Nickie 1:46
welcome. I just like I'm new to the podcast, and I've been getting so much out of it. And I heard you say that one day. And I'm like, you know what I would love to connect. And you know, I love one of the things that you said recently was like, I can hear myself learning. As you were like revisiting an old podcast, like you're kind it was your hundredth episode, and you're revisiting like your 11th episode or something like that. It was on like, the fear. And that's seriously like, I finally feel like we're, we're coming out of that, because we're new to Dexcom and everything. And that just changes everything. And I just love that you said you can hear yourself learning and it's like that is life like that is I just relate so much to that because it's it's this is a crazy disease. But yet, the lessons that you learn along the way are not only like with diabetes, but with just life in general. So

Scott Benner 2:38
it's funny, because there's these moments when, you know, I'm just relating our experiences. And that's, you know, that's easy. And sometimes I there's these are things I've known for years or things that I figured out a long time ago. But once in a while I answer a question. And if you could hear my inner monologue, you'd, you'd hear me thinking, Oh, God, I can't believe I didn't know that. So like, how did I just figure this out? Now while we were having this conversation? Oh, my gosh, totally. Yeah. But the conversations are so how it happens, you know, so I'm thrilled. So I'd love to, I'd love to know a little more about you know what it's like to, to find the podcast and just sort of you know, how it strikes you because I I don't understand that part. I want to hear a little bit about you know, your life and what's going on and everything else.

Nickie 3:23
Hi, my name is Nikki Kerrigan and I am a mom of two I have a fun turning 16 on when are Thursday this week, and then I have another son will who is going to be 13 in June and he has type one diabetes. I'm married to my husband. We've been married for 17 years. He's a wine distributor. So it's kind of awesome. And I own a Fitness Studio in our in our community. So we are a really active family and we just love to connect and hike and do a lot of fun family activities.

Scott Benner 4:00
And so your son will has type one. He does. He was diagnosed How old?

Unknown Speaker 4:07
He was five.

Scott Benner 4:08
Okay, so eight years ago. Yep. I just ruined the joke that I don't know how to do math. Okay, nevermind. Wait, hold on. 5678. Got it. Okay. So five years olds are really kind of weird space because he he had he just started kindergarten.

Nickie 4:26
He actually we haven't been a five year program. So he was born in June. And so we decided like, what should we do? And I'm just so glad he was in that five program like in retrospect, because I didn't have to send him away every single day. It was like three days a week after the diagnosis. And that was easier on mom and dad. I have to say,

Scott Benner 4:45
this is like preschool.

Nickie 4:48
Yeah, it was like a like a pre k kind of thing.

Scott Benner 4:51
And so he was in and out of the house. But not every single day as he was diagnosed. Exactly. It was like a two hour thing.

Nickie 4:59
I've gone Three days a week.

Scott Benner 5:01
Now, did you? Um, did you just sit outside of it? And? or How did you?

Unknown Speaker 5:07
Yep, exactly what I did. Tell me

Scott Benner 5:10
about that a little bit, because I did it too. And I've never really spoken about it here before. But But how did you see you? Just tell me about it. That's fantastic.

Nickie 5:17
Sure. So, um, first, when when we got back, we he was actually diagnosed over Christmas, which is kind of crazy. I know, there was another podcast recently about that. And that was that struck a huge chord with me, because pretty much a lot like our story, we were actually let out on Christmas eve of the hospital. So we were a little bit before Christmas, but so we got home from the family, we were on a family vacation in another state got home. And we were like, Okay, we got to, like get back to real life, we've got to help, we'll see that this does not stand in his way. And so we first we talked to the teachers and just showed them like how to deal with Lowe's and show them how to check blood sugars, and like will was already you know, pretty acclimated to that. But you know, we just showed the teachers and I literally every day, the first day, I almost lost my mind, like walking away from him. And, you know, just thinking, Okay, you know, two hours. And so I would just sit in my car, and I would listen to music like I was, I remember just like having a CD player in my car. And I would listen to my black eyed peas CD and just sit there and like, wait, and sometimes I would drive like around a little bit in the area. But I was always right there. Because that was probably the most heart wrenching thing to turn your kid loose into the world, when they have this, this disease that feels so out of your control, like, there is nothing that you can do. You know, and

Scott Benner 6:44
even you don't really even know what you're doing. So I was always struck by the amount of things that I imagined I didn't understand. And, and we did the same thing with Arden was diagnosed when she was two, but my wife's like, you know, maybe we should just get her out of the house a couple days for like preschool to get her kind of ready for for, you know, for kindergarten, and I was like, oh, okay, you know, there's this place not far from here she a couple hours, like you're saying, and they'll you know, they'll mess around and do crafts with them. And you know, stuff like that. And I was like, oh, okay, that sounds right. And, you know, explain the whole thing to the people. And they're like, Well, look, you know, if you stay we can do it. I was like, Well, a few. All right, I get okay. And you know, and I was like, Why don't want to hang right over a shoulder. And so I'll sit I did the same thing when I sat in my car. And I came back in at like certain intervals and tested our blood sugar for things and, and it was a, it was just like, there's that uncertainty of like, you know, what's happening with her right now? And how do you like, let go of that. And, and it took a really long time. But you sound like you were really very positive when he was when he was first diagnosed about not letting anything get in his way. I'm wondering, is there any point where the momentum of your positive feelings Did it ever find resistance? Did you ever have trouble maintaining that, that feeling?

Nickie 8:00
Oh, my gosh, yes, a lot. And you know, it, we've always wanted to empower him. And we've always wanted to empower the people around him to feel like they can help and that if they make a mistake, we can fix it, you know, like, all those things. But at the same time, like all of that, and even educating family, educating friends talking about it, it's still is so hard. I mean, there are days that I just remember, like, I remember just collapsing in my kitchen in full tears, because just trying to hold that up, like, you know, you almost like will yourself to a place you want to be before you're really ready. And that's kind of what I felt like I was always doing. And then it just hit me really hard. And I just remember crying and just like really struggling and then thinking like this is not productive, like I have to get, I have to really start to get myself to that place. Because he he needs that for me, he needs to see that from the front. Always. I mean, I didn't let anybody see me or have that breakdown. That was a private moment for myself. But, you know, so I just started to talk to the social worker at the clinic. You know, even just like when I when when I was first diagnosed, I was teaching aqua aerobics at a,

Unknown Speaker 9:16
at a

Nickie 9:17
fitness center in a community, a small community, not the one I'm currently in. And it was to a lot of elderly people. And I remember going back to work after his diagnosis. And just the things that they would say to me, were so hard to you know, it's like the same conversations and the same questions like oh, how's he doing? How's his blood sugar? Is everything under control? And hearing that question, is everything under control? It's like, um, what day are you talking about? Because it is every day is different, you know, and at that point, we were just doing injections and you know, you don't have a lot of control when you have injections and it's you know, Also new to us. And I remember just having this sense of overwhelm, and just constantly feeling like, you know, yeah, I want to be this this really positive and like, I want to empower him. But then having those conflicting thoughts of, can I just keep him in a bubble? And can I just have them like with me at all times? And can I always have them in my view, I mean, it feels like sometimes I walk that tightrope, just as a mother and, you know, a caretaker of this, but I know what the right thing is,

Scott Benner 10:25
you know what I mean? It's funny, too, because the feeling that you want to keep them really close to you, is, you would think that hearing from the other from another position that you know, if it was those ladies at the, you know, the class maybe that if you wanted to keep her, we keep well, close to you, it would be so you could do a better job. So get this Phantom control that somebody is talking about, except it doesn't really matter. That that was your fear, like, right fear is what wanted you to keep them closed. The idea that if something happens, I want to be close by. Yep.

Nickie 10:54
Yeah, constantly. And, you know, like, what, what I have been reflecting on lately, because I've really, my attitude has changed so much since we've gotten the Dexcom. And what I feel like, you know, just I've had this like, kind of epiphany or lightbulb moment. And it's like, when in fitness, we talk so much about your why, you know, your why, why do you want to be fit? Why do you want to be healthy? Like what is healthy even mean? Like all those things, like we really take deep dives, we don't accept just healthy, I want to be healthy for my kids. But we don't accept that. Right? Like, that's like, Okay, tell me why, you know, what do you want to be for you and all those things? And it's like, why do I not turn that lens around to myself with diabetes, and what I realized is that for many years, I was driven by fear, you know, like, I was driven by, I don't want something bad to happen. And so I will let his blood sugar went a little bit high. Or I will like say, Oh, yeah, that's okay. Like, you know, and just maybe under dose something, just just to be like, okay, like, at least he won't go low, or at least he won't be super sky high overnight, you know, just like finding that middle ground where I was letting him run a lot higher than I should have. And now like, you know, I'm looking at that and going, that's not the Y, the Y is not fear, the Y is not fear. If I focus on the fear, then I'm always going to keep him in that higher range. And then we're going to start looking at down the road, we're going to look at the health problems that are associated with that. Why don't I focus on let's avoid that, let's put you let's make the why about your quality of life later in life.

Scott Benner 12:33
Yeah, and I was just say that I am. I'm always really, um, there's, there's not a lot of opportunities for me to feel pleased with myself around the diabetes stuff, but when, you know, there's days have gone by like this, you know, it's like softball seasons like in full swing. Now, so Arden's weekends are spent being active for six and eight hours a day. And she inevitably gets lower, you know, in the evenings after that. And when she goes to take in a bunch of food, not just as much Oh, actually hold on a second. People love this. I don't know why. But actually, I think I do know why. But Arden is texting about her. Her Bolus for lunch. So let's do that. We'll do it together for a second and then we'll get back. Yeah, it says she says it's lunchtime. I know she had gym today. She's going to eat in 15 minutes. She was bit she's been really steady at 96 for the past hour and 15 minutes, but I lost her signal about eight minutes ago. So I think she's still 96 bonus and asked her if she feels Okay, she'll say yes. Now while she's thinking half a bagel butter, that's what's in there today. yodels no yodels thing done, I don't know. 35 carbs. I actually looked at the carbs on because they look so amazingly sugar efic. And so then there was grapes, and broccoli and chips. So 30 540-550-6070 carbs, the drink doesn't have anything in it. And I put in some pretzels, like 75 carbs. So I'm gonna say

Unknown Speaker 14:09
I'm gonna say this is a nine unit situation. And a bazel Temp Basal. Here we go. Increase 50% for an hour.

Scott Benner 14:23
I always have to send the Temp Basal first. If I send the Bolus first. she'll throw the Bolus in and I go No, no Temp Basal shoes. Why wouldn't you say that before the finale, I have to wait for the balls to finish to put in. I can feel how irritated she is with me through the text message. Totally very, very careful to do that. Now the nine unit bolus, she's 96. So I don't want to give it all to her right now because we have 15 minutes ago. So let's extend it. And we'll do

Unknown Speaker 14:53
I don't know four units now. Seems like a lot. Let's do 30% now and the rest Over

Unknown Speaker 15:07
here we go. Let's see how it works while we're talking still probably. So yay, good.

Scott Benner 15:16
We say goodbye to her. And then I can get rid of this tax program on my computer right now. And then I should get her signal back from CGM. Okay, here we go. All right now here's the biggest problem me remembering what I was about to say to you when this happened. Hey, this ads for Omni pod but before I begin, there's been a big announcement today surrounding Omni pod. And for those of you who had effects, I know this has been a longtime issue for a lot of people. And I want to just let you know, Medicare Part D is now going to cover Omni pod. If you want to know more, I'll put a link in the show notes for it. But I know that is amazing news for those people who have been waiting very patiently and actually advocating on their own. So congratulations, everybody. Medicare Part D is now going to cover on the pod. Now, I'm running out of ad time. So if you want a tubeless insulin pump, which of course you do, on the pod offers a free, no obligation demo pod, something you can bring into your home, and just give a try to see if you're comfortable with it. If you are then you can move forward. If you're not comfortable, you don't have to do anything. And there's absolutely no obligation. So it's worth a try. You go to the link, Miami pod.com forward slash juicebox. You put in seriously the tiniest bit of information about yourself. And this demo pod is going to show up at your house and you can give it a whirl, see what you think. Not gonna push it too hard this week, I'm not gonna tell you a big story about how great Omnipod is, although I have stories, I could tell stories. But for this week, I thought knowing about the Medicare thing was such a big deal for most people, I want to use a little bit of this time for that. For everybody else, my on the pod.com forward slash juicebox. To find out more about the demo. There's also a link in your show notes. And don't forget, if you want to learn more about the Medicare announcement, go to Arden Stay calm. It's right there. I'll also put a link here in the show notes. So you'll remember that before the ad and before Arden's Bolus for lunch, I was about to say that there's very few opportunities for me to get really pleased with myself around diabetes. But here's one of them. This is the rest of that job. So she's getting low, you know, or low ish or sticking low. And when the difference between here's some food to help the low blood sugar comes up an actual meal at a weird time of day, like later at night or something like that. I'm pleased with myself when I have the nerve to Bolus for that food, even though she's been low. Yeah, like you know what I mean? Because that feels like not being afraid to me. Yeah. Now, every once in a while, that could backfire. And maybe you have to catch it again. But for the every once in a while where it backfires. And she still stays low. There, you're giving, you know, you're trading that for every other time where her blood sugar would have went up to 300 I would have been like, Oh, I was too afraid to do anything cuz she was low earlier. So I didn't and now look what happened. And now four hours later, I can get it back again. I just there are two times I feel completely empowered. It's that and you know, aren't you know, everyone gets low, like, like, frighteningly low once in a while. I would say it happens to a couple of times a year. But when it happens when she's like, you know, 40 and her blood sugar's falling, and she's eating, you know, the equivalency of everything in our kitchen. That fall stops and I see the Dexcom bend back up again. I never feel more in control than when I Bolus for the food when she's still 50 Yeah, and I'm just like, oh, wow, I this is how I know I'm doing it. Like, you know, because because I trust everything about what diabetes has taught me in the past. I've stopped the fall. I've you know, she's taken in an incredible amount of food that food is going to start bringing her blood sugar up, maybe I don't hit it carb for carbs, you know, unit for unit. But I'm going to give her most of the the Bolus that I know she needs for that food. And, and when that happens later, when you stop a crazy fall like that, and 45 minutes later, your blood sugar's 110. That feels amazing to me. Like oh, yeah. And I feel like I've done something. Which is that's my equivalency of like a roller coaster. You know, other people would have to go to Six Flags for that feeling. I get it right there.

Unknown Speaker 19:29
I am with you. I

Nickie 19:31
know I'm looking at our decks right now. And it's kind of cool because like I actually sent well a text he was at 74 and steady and I was like, you're not going to eat for a while. I'm like, why don't you go down to 15 grams and let's just see where you're at. And like, it has now come back up to 80 and steady so that's gonna take them right through to lunch. So it was perfect because it was it was going down. So it was like, you know, seven

Scott Benner 19:53
inches 74 you were falling because that because falling. If he's 13 then what's the way about 100 pounds one way or the other 90

Unknown Speaker 20:02
out of a peanut, he's 71.

Scott Benner 20:06
So he says 70 pounds. So you just need to 15 carbs, if he was steady at 74 would have pushed him higher. So you that's how you feel like you know, there were still a fall coming.

Nickie 20:15
Yeah, yep. Excellent. So awesome when you make those little tiny victories and it's like, I am so glad that he's not like, you know, it's just nice to see that 81 and steady. And then also, like, here's where I feel like I'm winning, too. I'm not panicking at 81 and steady, where I used to, I used to be like, Oh, my God, he could go low, he could go low. What if he goes low? You know, somebody's gonna walk them down to the nurse or, you know, we, I don't know, you know, just all those little things like now I just feel like this sense of calmness. I mean, it's been years. I mean, we have had, it's not like, we're brand new at this, you know, like, I mean, I it's taken me a long time to get to this place. And I think, when you have the right tools mean, we have the Omni pod, and we have the Dexcom. And we've had the Omni pod for several years, but we are new to the deck. And that's something we change doctors, and the doctor was just like, I'm like, Why do you not have that x? And we're kinda like, I don't know, you know,

Scott Benner 21:11
so no one said, I everything that I've learned about I learned about from somebody else at some point, you know, and you just one day, you're like, what somebody is using a glucose monitor? What's that? And then, you know, a little bit of googling later. And I said, oh, wow, we're getting this. Yeah. And and so well, you know, it's interesting is that you talked about walking around at 81. And feeling comfortable now. I am at 81. In my mind, I'm starting around like john travolta and Saturday Night Fever, right? You know, like, I'm like, well, we are killing this. I'm, I'm the I'm the big stepping foot guy on the keep on trucking. mudflaps from this, just like, look at how we are killing this. And could she get low? I mean, she got the Dexcom she started drifting down, we'll do something about it at once crazy at one is such a plus, you know, if you test it, it was probably like 90 anyway. And so you're just like, this is such an amazing feeling to lose the fear. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you a story from last week, excuse me, that will, I think just magnify what it means to be without the fear completely. So this seems to happen. Like once a year Arden goes to school, and their technology at school just completely falls apart. So she walked in the building, I dropped her off. And I got home and her blood sugar was, I think I dropped her off in the morning. It was like she was a little over 100. And I didn't have any feeling to think that she would go higher, but we had, she'd eaten some food on the way out the door. And so I bought a sport. I was like this. I remember thinking this might be a little too much. But yeah, that's her. And so she goes into the building. And I have this like conscious thought like a half hour later, like, Oh, well, I'm not hearing anything from the Dexcom. This is great. Maybe we really did hit with this food. It's you know, she didn't go up over 130 or I would have heard, I wouldn't have expected her to get low. But I know if I did something wrong, I might have expected her to get to drift off. And so no beeping This is great everything. And then I just I start going about my business and I put my stuff down and I'm wearing my Apple Watch. So I figured you know, I don't need my phone right on me. But I didn't realize I i muted my Apple Watch. And so I saw I didn't get any. So about an hour into it. I was like, wow, I must have really just perfectly gotten that bolus, like you know, and then I was like, maybe I didn't and let me look. And so I looked and I there was no signal she I did not see. I couldn't see her next calm at all. And so I was getting the no signal thing after a half an hour but I didn't feel it on my watch. And so now I text her and the text doesn't go through. And oh my gosh, she's in like she's in like the Bermuda Triangle of of cell signals and Wi Fi right now something had to happen at the school, but I'm still just like, Okay, let me let it ride a little bit. I'm not going to go crazy. I'm not going to be the guy who calls the office like I can't reach my daughter, so I'm just like, it's gonna be fine. She'll notice if she gets low. You know, Baba, she still got her her. Their CGM like I don't have it right? Yeah, even though she's 12 and if I'm being 100% honest, I think that thing could actually scream at her in English you're about to die and she might literally just ignore it.

She's like wow, why is my phone calling me I'm gonna die. I guess I could look but probably not. And yeah, so like I tried to text I can't get texts to go through a little while later I go to my fallback idea. I'll call her sometimes when you it's crazy as it sounds it seems like when you send a different type of signal through the through the system sometimes it could pick up one and not the other phone call goes right to voicemail like huh, so I send that find your iPhone signal like this thing is the Superman of all signals. This one bursts through everything. That didn't work. But I also had a breakfast with a friend so I'd been driving to to this restaurant and go out to eat three times a year. I've a very exciting life. And so and so I was like I wasn't gonna cancel with my friend. You Because I couldn't get through and we're sitting there and I'm trying to tax everything. And finally I said to her, I'm like, Look, I can't wait any longer if she's low. It's going to start happening right now. So I called the school and the front office, voicemail picked up and I was like, Wait, does this happen? You know, like so now. So now I have to call the nurse's office because I know she'll pick up but if you listen to the podcast, you know, Arden doesn't go to the nurse doesn't know the nurse. The nurse has no goings on, you know, there's no interaction at all with Arden's blood sugar. And so I was like, hey, and I said, Hi. I said, Here's what's happened. I said, the cell service is down in the building. And it seems like the Wi Fi is not working. I need you to get Arden and bring her up because I have no idea what her blood sugar is. And she could be allowed. And he and she was Oh sure, sure. She has her come up. And my phone rings a couple minutes later. Arden is here. We've tested her blood sugar. She's 56. And I was like, Okay, I said, um, I see her on the phone. But what do you want me to do? I'm like, I'd like you to put her on the phone. And so, like I said, How you feel? And she goes, I'm alright. I was like, Okay, I said drink a juice. Wait, wait five minutes and go back to class. And she's like, okay, and I can hear her saying to the woman, my dad's just gonna, we're just gonna drink this juice and she's so mature. While she's saying it to her. It wasn't like a child echoing or father or anything like she she knew that the phone call was just art and knew the phone call was just to stop the nurse like from being like, Oh my God. And so Arden's like a very calmly Arden goes, Hey, I'm just gonna drink this juice. And I'll head back to class in a couple of minutes. And give me the phone and I hear the Hi, I'm gonna keep hearing retest in 15 minutes. I was like, Listen, you could do that if you want. You really don't need to. She's not 56 and falling. She's 56. And I thought this juice is gonna bang her right back up to 85. And she was but she's going to gym next. And I was like, yeah, it'll be fine. And she's, she's like, No, I'm gonna keep her. I'm like I said, you know, you should do whatever you want. Thank you very much for help. I was very polite and everything. And she's like, yeah, so a few minutes later, not 15 minutes later, Arden's texting me, Hey, I rebooted my phone. It's working again. I was like, Okay, great. And she's like, um, she's like, I want to get out of here. And her blood sugar was like, 64 diagnol up, she's like, she won't let me leave. And I said, just I texted her, I was like, just make her happy and say a couple more minutes. And she was like, okay, okay. And then she laughed, and she went off the gym, went to gym, and then we Pre-Bolus for lunch, and she was off on our way. But I'm gonna tell you that if that happened to me years ago, I would like at the school at the front door like banging on the front door yelling my daughter's dying in there. And and so the, the process that we've gone through that we've talked about in the podcast of you know, figuring out that you know, the fear was the thing that was holding us back from her going to school and or overnight sleep overs and all this stuff. I also eliminated the fear that I just there I mean, 56 is low. I'm not telling you it's not low. But I'm I wouldn't panic at 56 not I mean, 56 and falling I would have been a little more like short with my words. I've been like, Look, you need to have a drink of juice. Let's shut her bazel off let's I would have had more to do. But at 56 and stabilize like she's going to drink that juice. Her blood sugar's go back up in a couple minutes. And huh. But if you could have heard the nurse who lives in a different world with the other kids who have diabetes there, she was like, Well, you know, I'll put the process into place. It was almost like watching like a bad show about the about the White House. You know, there were on lockdown. Everyone gets to the Situation Room, the lights in the room go dim, you know, like, I was like, Oh, it's just let her drink the juice and just make sure she puts another one back in her bag. Right. And that was that was sort of it. But it sounds like you're closer to that then than not, but you're at this for eight years. How long did you spend afraid and when do you start coming out of it?

What happens when perhaps the most impactful piece of diabetes technology in the last decade has a long boring name like continuous glucose monitor? Well, what happens is it's confusing a little bit. That's why I try every week to tell you about Dexcom. So that one day you won't just think of a tissue and a Kleenex is the same thing. Because Kleenex is a brand name. A tissue is a description of that brand name. A CGM is the description Dexcom is the brand name. Now, none of that helps take away the fact that continuous glucose monitor is a very very unsexy grouping of words. But here is what is exciting. Everything you've heard today on this podcast wrapped around diabetes, everything you've heard for 143 episodes about it. The idea that you can see the doctor erection of your child's blood sugar of your blood sugar, not just the direction it's going, but the speed, it's going in that direction. And what's the number? Am I 90 diagonal up? Am I 90 and stable? Am I 90 and falling fast? Well, there's a big difference between those three things. A big difference, how about when we're bolusing for a meal, and you can see stability, like we're talking about today with Arden's lunch, when you can see that stability, you can feel comfortable, this bolus was right, my Pre-Bolus was right. My goodness, this is something you want to have this amazing information is available remotely because of the Dexcom share and follow ups are available for Android. And for Apple phones. Just imagine someone being able to see your blood sugar or you being able to see your child's blood sugar in real time, not just what the number is, but which direction it's moving, and how fast it's getting there. Please go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To learn more, you will not be sorry.

Nickie 30:56
You know, I was probably driven by fear for the first I would say like probably four to five years, I would maybe say and you know, I think some of that had to do with just like, I think I was a little nervous to reach out for support. There were things that you know, when when you don't have a circle of support. And I don't mean that in like I have an awesome, you know, network of friends and family and all that but it's like people like you people like you know, I'm in Type One Diabetes moms group on Facebook, you know, things like that just help you have those conversations, but you know, even your friends with the most well intentions, you know, just coming up to you and asking you and like saying no explain it to me, and you explain it to them. And they're just like, you know, you can tell it's going over their head, it would have gone over my head, you know, like, it's that kind of stuff and getting the support and just like being around other people that have it one of Will's really good friends has it, which is crazy. And so his mom, like just having that little network has gotten me out of that fear. And you know, just

Scott Benner 32:05
to information because the difference between the difference between support from well meaning people and support from somebody who understands exactly what's going on and can offer some thoughtful commentary back again. That's the that's that's the support you're talking about is that being around people are living the same life you

Nickie 32:20
are. Exactly And like we went to the ADA gala, my husband actually is the wine company that he works for did something and he got tickets to the ADA Gala. And I'm like well absolutely let's go and I remember they showed this whole thing on camp needlepoint which is a diva camp needlepoint.

Scott Benner 32:40
I'm sure the camps all have different names. The one that we just did in the podcast last week, which by the time yours goes up will be months ago but is the one that's closer to me. It's the Jaya.

Nickie 32:51
Okay. Yeah, and so like locally around here and I know they have a few in this in a few of the other states around here but um, so camp needlepoint, they did the whole presentation and I was like, there is no freakin way. I will send my kid to camp like Sorry, no.

Scott Benner 33:08
Explaining the camp and you Oh, you're hearing so I locked him in a garbage truck? And then it crushes him. Is that what you just said? Because it feels like that's what you just said. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not you're not killing him for your camp. That's what this is. You murderers and

Nickie 33:25
oh my god. Totally. I mean, you're they're showing me videos of like the kid swimming and doing all these great things. And I'm like, Oh, hell no, no, no.

Scott Benner 33:33
Happy for the video. I see what's going on here.

Nickie 33:37
It's just reaching me out the idea of that freaked me out and then I remember just kind of coming out of that thinking. And we'd gone to the gala. I think it was like three years that we went to that Gala. And finally, I was like, Okay, you know what, like, he needs to go like he needs to go and I've heard from other people like in that moms group camp needle points. Amazing. And then other people we met in the community who like said oh, this will go to camp needlepoint. And I'm like, No, you know,

Scott Benner 34:08
children the way I do obviously, and because it is scary. That's the whole concept of it is even when they're like No Don't worry, they'll be watched with people who have diabetes and everyone by the way this camps been operating for you know, dozens of years and no one's ever bothered on you're just like that. Do you can't fool me, right?

Nickie 34:28
Oh, yeah, it took me so long and so well has gone now for three years. And he is going to go again this next year. And it's like for me the camp and like getting the Dexcom I think well in the Omni pod with along the way. You know, when you are using injections like that is like you're shooting arrows in the dark and it's really hard. I don't know how we ever got through those years and those days and those nights because, like, I can't believe what we have in front of us today with the decks and knee pad like that these are lifesavers. And I, I just, I'm, I'm so grateful that we have this technology that can help us move forward. So we're not constantly in the dark anymore.

Scott Benner 35:14
Yeah, it's it's a, I mean, I've said it a bazillion times, but I genuinely don't know how to accomplish most of the things I do without it. Although I am going to try again. Pretty soon I'm going to set up another podcast with a person who is doing injections and they're doing amazing. And I want them to explain to me how because we actually have a, there's an episode that's recorded that's not up yet. Where we tried that I got on with a mom who does injections. And I said, Okay, so, you know, let's, you know, can I can we have you on and you can tell us how you're doing great with injections. And the first thing she said is we're not doing great. I was like, Ah, this isn't gonna go the way that I was hoping. So we talked about why it's not going right. You know, they still have a really good conversation. But I've got this gentleman who's like, no, we're doing it. And so I'm gonna try again to have that conversation because I can't in my mind, I can't figure it out. So I couldn't for a very long time, and I can't now and now maybe I'm, I don't want to say I'm spoiled. But maybe I am spoiled, like to some degree. You know, we, you know, it's been 20 literally exactly 20 minutes since Arden did her her um Pre-Bolus. So she's been in the lunchroom now for five minutes or blood sugar's 107. Wow, you know what I mean, and now, she's eating now. And just just as the food starts to hit, or the insulin is gonna come down, I'm even like, looking at her now. Like, there's part of me that wants to cancel the extended bolus, right? Put all of it in the balance of what it didn't go in, goes in there. But I'm gonna wait a couple more minutes, because I think this could still work out like there's part of me is like, I should have maybe broke out the balance of The Expendables or a half an hour, not an hour. Right. But I did that because she's got a lot of vegetables in her meal and a heavier bread. And I think those things are going to take longer to start affecting her. You know what I mean? But it's in my mind, I'm like, but what if she eats the yodel? First. That is the entire thought process right now, by the way about whether or not my extended bolus is at the right distance? It's like if she grabs the broccoli and the end the the grapes and the bagel first, then my one hours perfect. And if she dies into the yodel first I'm completely,

Unknown Speaker 37:26
totally, totally

Nickie 37:28
oh my gosh, isn't it just it's like, you're always kind of crap shooting in so many ways, you know, with this and, but got to be able to have the the structure and like just seeing the numbers and having you're just watching the lines and being able to have that in front of you makes such a huge difference mean that even if you were on injections, and you were doing this, I mean, I don't know what I like about Downie pod two is the fact that we can play around with those temp basals and extended boluses. And, you know, really take those deep dive. And I remember when we first got the Omni pod, I was like, Whoa, that's way too much information, you know, I essentially for quite a while use it, just as I would have injections, you know, and just it was like an insulin delivery system, you know. And now it's like, as you move into move out of the fear and into just that sense of control, and then just knowing that you know what, I've got this Dexcom backing me up, like I can look at this in real time at every second, I can fix my mistake,

Scott Benner 38:27
when you talked about the 74 blood sugar earlier that was falling, and it needed the 15 grams. If that 74 was very steady, and there was no insulin going on. You probably could have tried and I imagine you would have like Temp Basal, maybe shutter Basal labels off for a half an hour and see if you can drift that way. I that goes back forever. To me when we were doing injections when Arden was a baby and I'd have those conscious thoughts like I wish there was just a button I could push to stop her, her slow acting insulin from workings for a while. You right? And there is a button now. So you know,

Nickie 39:01
isn't that cool? I know that it terrifies me now to think back to using lantis. Because you you lose that ability to pull that back. And it's like once that is in that is in

Scott Benner 39:12
it does what it does. And and and and you don't really know. You know, I guess I guess I know I'm not a doctor, obviously, I'm sure the people who make slow acting insulins would not be thrilled, but I don't think that it works steadily for 24 hours the way they say it does. So you know and so there's times where it works. It's less, you know, less effective, more effective. You know, there's a lot of different issues and you don't know it's all guessing, you know, at least with this you can say I'm going to do a Temp Basal off for like we did it the other night. I bolused Arden's like ardmona ice cream. So I went out and she's like, I want you to go to this place and get ice cream and I was like, Alright, she had a long weekend and she did a really good job. I was like okay, I'll go. So I went out. I got ice cream. brought it back. She's like, I want Carmel whipped cream. It's like, okay, so I gave it to her. I texted her when I was about five minutes from so I'm like, boom, you know, this is what I want you to ball. She boluses it comes home starts eating the ice cream. She's about halfway through it. And she goes, I shouldn't have got the whipped cream. It melted on the ride back. This is disgusting. And she hands it to me.

You know, just like, Okay, hold on, does this let me breathe for a second. And and I didn't make a big deal out of it. I was like, Yeah, sure. It's disgusting when the whipped cream melts. And I was like, Yeah, he hands it to me. And I'm like, Okay, well shut your bazel off for an hour. So I started doing Basal that time. And it's 1.1. I gave her you know, three units for the ice cream. It wasn't a very big one. But you know, she did eat some of it. So I'm like, maybe I can get lucky here and trade bazel for Bolus and let's see. And it worked out fine. It worked out so fine. You know, it just there was no issue around that at all. You know, with the, you know, injections, I would have just been like, well, you better figure out something else to eat. Because we're not stopping now. Now we got to feed the insulin, you know that you've got that you that, you know, that was further on board?

Nickie 41:15
Yeah. Oh, my gosh, I

Unknown Speaker 41:17
know. It was great.

Nickie 41:19
It is it's crazy. And I remember so when, when we were first diagnosed. So we were on a trip visiting my husband's parents who lived in California. And so we were just we noticed some things going on with well, and I called my nurse back here. And she just said, I don't want to alarm you. But I think you need to go into the emergency room right now. And so I went through this

Unknown Speaker 41:40
statement, I don't want to alarm you. Please find emergency room, right.

Nickie 41:47
I know. And that was exactly what her words were word for word. I was like, okay, and this is like a woman that like saw me as a baby. And so she's known me my whole life. And she said that to me. And I was like, oh my god. Okay, so Cathy, serious, I gotta get going. So

Scott Benner 42:03
to get upset, but you're on fire. You might want to skip over the well wishes about hoping you're not gonna get upset. Just go right to the Hey, Japan,

Unknown Speaker 42:14
and get the house but I don't know why I find that amusing for some reason.

Nickie 42:20
is now you know what I mean? Like, back then it wasn't. Now when I got back then I was like, Are you freaking kidding me? You know, and just, it's, it's crazy. So yeah, totally. So we went into so we had our little boot camp, you know, that they basically put you through when they admit you into the hospital. And the way they did it in California was so different than Minnesota. And so, you know, and of course, I didn't learn that until we got back to Minnesota. But we Um, so in California, what they had us do, this was so crazy. So we had the lantis. And then we had humalog and humulin. And so we would have to mix those two, and we had like these certain time intervals that we had to give will influence and it didn't matter. Like it wasn't like with the food always like it was really bizarre. It was like, Okay, at this time at this time, and then every meal, it was like his meals were 45 carbs, they always had to be 45 carbs. And his snacks always had to be 15 carbs. And they had to be spaced out in these intervals. They were and it was

Scott Benner 43:20
eight years ago. They were teaching. They were still teaching this in California. Yeah, I still mean, I still meet people now, by the way that that are taught like this.

Nickie 43:29
Wow. Yeah. It's so archaic. Like, it's just like in mixing that kenalog and humulin. Like, I'm sorry, like, That is insane. When you're trying to do that as a new parent, like, starting with, like, having these needles that you've got to shoot into your child that you're still getting your brain around that you know, and then having to mix the insulin and if you accidentally mess up, you have to throw it away and start over. I mean, it's just like, it's,

Scott Benner 43:57
it's an odd thing, especially in the beginning because everything they teach you everything you need to know for diabetes, especially when it's coming through needles and everything. It feels like such a thing that's supposed to happen at a hospital. Like it's almost like if someone said hey, you know you're gonna get chemotherapy for your cancer. Here it is. Do it at home. Like Yeah, you figure it out. There's a couple of sheets of paper and then you watch a video on YouTube you're gonna get it like you know, like it just it seems like when you're being taught it you're just like no, that seems like something that happens at a hospital we live here now. We know this is you know, I know I live here and you'll give me the the Intel eat the food we'll all grow together in this hospital room because because that doesn't seem like something in person has to do at home and it really does strike you in the beginning like that and then you figure it out but but yeah, but they've got you all that plus mixing and and eating the interval eating with a five year old sounds maddening, actually, so Oh boy, cuz I'm assuming well wasn't always hungry.

Nickie 44:55
No, not at all, you know, and it was just like trying to You know, you feel so bad and you're like, dude, you got to eat this buddy, like, trying to talk him into it and, you know, help it letting him decide what to eat. I mean, we like wrapped our brain. And fortunately, we only had to do that for about like, I don't know, a few weeks, because we had to do that at home until we could get in with our doctor here and meet whoever our doctor was going to be, you know, and it was just kind of a weird transition to have that happen on the town and then come here and then meet a new doctor. And then she set us up with this new program, which is so much easier with just, you know, the hemoglobin it and the lantis. That made life a little bit easier. And I do get it, like, I think, you know, when I think about Atlantis, and I think about, you know, like, we are really involved parents, you know, like, we want to do this, we are so committed to helping our kids be healthy and strong. And there are kids out there that don't have parents in their life like us. And so I can see where Atlantis and things like that still play such a huge and strong role in you know, medical community. But I think when you are ready to take a deep dive like this, like, that's kind of obsolete in our world, you know what I mean?

Scott Benner 46:04
It's, it's, um, it's one of the things that I hope the podcast is doing for somebody and I don't know, if it reaches people who aren't motivated, you know, to the to that extra level, like you're talking about, but I want I so badly want people to understand that it's so much less effort to keep someone's blood sugar at 100 than it is to fight with someone's blood sugar hits 250, and then it's 40. And then it's 300, again, like that, that takes a lot of effort. You know, totally you figure it out in the beginning. And even without the technology, you can figure out enough that it's not bouncing around like that with the technology, if you're if you're fortunate enough to be able to to get it, it just, it's so much simpler to live like this. Like then than that. I know that sounds weird. If you're, if you're not at it yet, if you're struggling to get to it, then it that that sounds like you want to come here and hit me with a board probably but now we are now we are literally over 31 minutes past Ardennes Pre-Bolus and our blood sugar's 100. And it's just starting to if you look on the very edge of the three hour line on our Dexcom, it's heading down. And so now we're gonna see it, I'm hoping it goes down another 15 points before it levels back out again. And that was the goal, but but I don't have to pay attention to it. I'm looking at it now. So you and I can talk about it. If you and I weren't talking, I wouldn't be looking, I wouldn't have my phone out. You didn't mean like it, but if her blood sugar was, you know, 200 going into lunch, and now I'm watching it climb up to 300 while she's eating, then I'd be fixated on it, I'd be thinking about Do I have to bring her home? Does she have to drink water? Do I have to change your insulin pump? Like what is instead there's there's nothing to think about it said 100. You know, it's as counterintuitive as it sounds, it is easier to keep someone steady at near an optimal blood sugar than it is to fight with it going all over the place. Now the of course the rub is to get to that spot. But

Nickie 48:03
Yep, and it's liberating when you can get there because like, just holding on to that fear and going, Oh, I'll just let them run a little bit high. You know, like, that's always kind of my was my go to like office a little bit high, that's okay, you know, then if he's active or, you know, then it's okay, it's okay. And I would just sort of talk myself into it being okay. But then it was always these fights and sleepless nights, you know, meaning fighting the blood sugar, and sleepless nights for me, you know, he flipped through it all, which is great. Like, I'm so glad he does, and that I can be there for all of this, because this is the learning curve. And then when I send him out into the world, you know, like, those are all you know, the things that kind of go through my mind, like how he's going to do this without me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you know what, I'm making myself too important. Like, he is going to do great with this. And it's it's so you're so right, it is so much easier. Like we've had a couple really good days lately. And they are so easy. I mean, it's just like you just, oh my gosh, it's like 10 times easier

Scott Benner 49:03
here. Well, here's where I think the you know, cuz we never really talked about this. But if I extrapolate out that you know, I always think about the, the I guess the speed bumps on the way to what you were talking about earlier, like right so I first have to successfully translate everything that I've learned into my daughter without making it easy, right? That's wrong. Then you have to get past this idea which is right now she has a caregiver there's someone she gets to think about her life and not about this too much. And she does but not not not like I do probably. Uh huh. How do you get that onto her without it burdening her and who gets you up at two o'clock in the morning because then there's this other thing right? Like if you told me I had to wake up at two o'clock in the morning for my health. I would sleep through it and die earlier. And but but if you told me I have to wake up at two o'clock in the morning for my kids health, then I can accomplish that. Right like and and When something goes wrong in the very beginning, I would take it as a defeat. But then I realized I can't think of it like this. If I do, I'm not helping her, I have to take it as information that I learned from. And so now even though the things that I see as as shortcomings in my decisions are not as big as they used to be impactful as our health like this morning is a great example. Like I woke up this morning at six o'clock Arden's terrible at getting out of bed and around, so she's trying to figure out how to do it. So she's setting up these multiple alarms on our phone with these have noxious alarms that are going off earlier than she needs to get up. My wife and I are like, Oh my god, stop. But I'm like, you have to let her do it. Like she's trying to teach yourself how to hear it. You know what I mean? So let her do it. Since she's getting you know, she but I wake up for her alarm blaring through the house that apparently no one hears but me and and Kelly and her blood sugar's 128. And it's been there since four o'clock, and I have her high threshold set at 130. So it never alarmed in my mind that 128 felt like I was I wasn't upset, but I wished it wasn't there. You know, to me, like that felt high to me. Yeah. And so as I walked into a room, because she wasn't up yet to give her this insulin. It started the diagonal up. And I was like, Oh, yeah, see, now she's waking up and our bodies kind of kicking in and everything. And it went to 140. Before I got it back down, and I look at it here. It did 140. And then by eight o'clock, which was two hours later, we had it back down again. And I couldn't be too overly aggressive with it, because I had to walk into the Pre-Bolus for, for I could have been more aggressive as she was home and she was going to school as what I'm saying. So she was 140 for two hours. Now. I can get into a time machine back when I would have thought that that was me just you know, at the pinnacle of diabetes success, and and and yet now it's like it weighed on me for a couple minutes this morning. Like oh, okay, and then I and then I just was like, that's when I started thinking like, I might move or high threshold to 120. Soon, like, because what I'm learning more than anything is that wherever I set those lines, we seem to stay in between them.

Unknown Speaker 52:18
That is such a good point. Yes.

Scott Benner 52:21
Because Because you react, right, because you're and people like oh, you must be reacting constantly. But I figured out how to stay pretty stable. So. So no, not really like I mean, I maybe I would like to know what else 129 130. And as soon as I feel like we can accomplish that then I'm going to get to that. And by the way she is now 36 minutes after Pre-Bolus she's 95 is going well. I'm feeling pretty good about this one by the way,

Unknown Speaker 52:48
that victory and forget

Scott Benner 52:50
that like I'm hoping people here but I did with the extended bowl. Spread out a little bit and thought about the food. That's That's why I'm I get so many notes back there. People are say, hey, yeah, last week's podcast was great. But I really liked the way you talk through art and Bolus, like in real time. And I was like, Oh, okay. I was, I was just doing that because I was too lazy to stop working and keep going. But it turned out to be positive. So I was like,

Nickie 53:14
No, you should keep doing that. I would agree. I think that's really cool. Because Yeah, it's like, okay, you you do you need to talk this stuff through and like, give it some, okay, she's gonna do this. It's gonna do that. Okay, perfect, perfect. You know, you can just really, no one else understands those conversations. And so when you have those, like, hear other people having those you're like, yeah, okay, totally. Dude, I would do the same thing.

Scott Benner 53:36
I mean, what it would sound like to someone who didn't have diabetes, like all these odd buzz words and phrases and everything. And you'd be like, if you walk into a doctor's appointment for somebody who was sick with something you'd never heard of before, and they're just like, I don't understand anything they're saying to me, but it makes so much sense. Oh, if you're totally Yeah.

Nickie 53:56
Go ahead. Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I was on the phone. It was so funny. I was talking to mark and my husband and I was in target. And I was like, so frustrated will has been high all day. And I'd like said that loud. And I'm like, Oh my god, that sounds so ridiculous to other people. Like they're like, Oh, my God, who was high at her house, like what are they smoking? You know, and

Scott Benner 54:17
so yeah, and it's such a shame. That's why she's at Target. And I love that. I I've thought like six times at a different point in American history. Your husband would be a bootlegger. It's so great. Oh, totally.

Unknown Speaker 54:31
Yeah, sure.

Scott Benner 54:35
That would be so much more exciting. I think that selling wine legally for some

Nickie 54:40
Oh Italy I know you should see our house we in you know he just had to convince me to get another wine fridge and like we have to have these dual zone wine fridges that one for the red one for the white like it's just it's you know, I can't complain to be honest. It's pretty nice.

Scott Benner 54:56
The bills are getting paid. I don't see a problem with any of this. And and obviously You have Dexcom? So you have is that through your insurance? By the way? Are you paying cash?

Nickie 55:04
Yeah. So we we do have it, we have to pay like our we have to pay? Well, I believe we get some sort of benefit through it, we have to pay with a certain like those HSA money or whatever. And then we have like our deductible sorry that we Yeah, you know it and then once that's not we're, we're done.

Scott Benner 55:26
Yeah, I feel very fortunate every time I just ordered insulin pumps recently. And, you know, I think I paid, I don't know, $120 for them or something like that. So that's it that always feels very fortunate when that's happening, because, and that is the other side of it, like you're talking about, about what do you say to your kids about how to pass this off to them at the same time? Geez, like, what do you bake once they're not insurable by you anymore? You know, and I was in my early 20s, I wanted to have health insurance when I switched jobs, but it wasn't the most important thing that happened or didn't happen to me. You know, it's it's a different. It's just a completely different situation. You know, it's, oh, yeah. So I it's hard to think about and, and it's hard to, it's, I don't know, it's just hard to, you don't want to think too far ahead with IBD. Sometimes, I think sometimes I think it's good to just today and tomorrow. And that's enough, you know, try not, try not to wonder about 10 years from now, because things will change anyway. And you'll think I worried about that for no reason or whatever. or, or, you know, oh, no,

Nickie 56:33
no, I hear ya. It's like, I just stopped myself. And, you know, it's funny, just like with my husband being in like the wine industry and stuff, honestly, like when I was sitting in the waiting room to be admitted into with for him to be admitted. First of all, I couldn't get a hold of my husband. So sitting there by myself with will and he's just five and playing. And I'm just sitting there. And I remember just the stream of thoughts that went through my head and they were so like, far out like to the future like they nothing present was coming into my mind. And I remember thinking silly things like, What if he wants to drink alcohol? Like, what if he you know, just all those things that like, I'm like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do this? And you just you It's so bizarre how you can really get yourself caught up in that wheel of thoughts. It's like you're on a hamster wheel of things you can't do anything about anyway. So, you know, it's like, turn around and just

Scott Benner 57:23
say, your girlfriend when you're 15. And you stop your brain from going What if this would have happened? And what if that like, I remember walking out of the carb counting class, like the third day and Arden's diagnosis, the hospital, and my wife just looks at me and she blurts out, is she gonna be able to have a baby and she starts crying. And I was like, I don't know. I was like, I have no idea. I'm sure yes, like, like, but I don't know. And God, you're crying like you're Irish, you never cry. And that poking. I didn't even think her tear ducts worked. I was like, wait, what's going on? around your heart began to melt. I'm not sure. I hope the Irish are listening or not insulted. But my wife is very stuck. And so like, you know, like, just, I don't know, she was crying. I was like, Oh, my God, if you're crying, we must be in trouble. And I was taking it. At that moment coming out of the other card counting class. It hit me like a ton of bricks. There was, I believe eight or nine families around this giant conference table. They had all been diagnosed in the last couple of days at this hospital. Uh huh. And we were all in this card counting class together. And as I walked out of the room, it hit me. If there were nine families, there were eight women sitting around the table and chairs with eight men standing behind them listening. And I was sitting in the chair with my wife standing behind me because I'm a stay at home dad. And it was like, oh, it like I put the two and two together. I'm like, the people sitting down. They were the people are gonna get hung on hung with doing this when they get home like, right, like, this is me. And then we tried to go back and count carbs in the room with the nurse and give it and I was there. There was this math, you know, it's some formula and I started doing it. I lost my ability to do simple math. I couldn't do fractions anymore. Like everything just left my head. Oh, yeah. And, and I, I broke down and started crying trying to draw up the syringe. And the point where my wife looked at the nurse, like and saved me and she's like, you should probably just come back later. Like, he needs a minute. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, I was such an ugly crier, too. And I was just like, I'm like, it's gonna be fine. And Kelly's like, I don't think so. And she's like, let's get this woman out of here. So she can't tell the story later. I'm like, you know, I'm like completely falling apart. And Kelly's like, what's wrong? I'm like, I can't remember how to do anything. Yeah, you know, and I can't get out the math, even though I know it's simple. Not in a sense, and I just said, I feel like I'm gonna kill her. Oh, yeah. You know, and that's how that's how all that Felt and I was just like woof. I remember when we got home because we were on vacation to when Arden was diagnosed because that's what happens when you're diagnosed with a vacation. And we got home and my wife said, What would help? And I was like, well, you're gonna go back to work in a couple of days, like clean the house. Like, like, do everything that I'm supposed to do everything and I'll just think about this. Uh huh. That was the beginning of a very long and sad couple of years of me and Arden, you know, hunker down while I'm staring her in the face going. I wonder if she's high or low right now? Yeah, you know, like, like, for two years, that that went into that window more years, like shooting art and getting didn't get a CGM until I think she was five or six, like it was a while ago. But we've been at it for a very long time with our little freestyle meter and the needles. So

Nickie 1:00:55
that's what we did do and you know, to kind of like, rub salt in the wound or whatever, we also ended up getting diagnosed with celiac. And so, you know, it's like, We're so lucky, man. It's just keep on coming. So, yeah, that was also you know, like, when, when you're faced with this, and then you're already just like, you know, kind of, I mean, not we didn't really put restrictions around any food to be honest. I mean, we're, we're pretty healthy. We eat really healthy around here, we focus on you know, meals and snacks. Being the trifecta is what we call it. Like, it has to be a fat, a carb and a protein, like a

Unknown Speaker 1:01:30
drinking wine, but a drink.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:35
While we want

Scott Benner 1:01:37
drunk, it's the business.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:40
We have to do marking?

Nickie 1:01:44
Oh, my gosh, totally. Yeah. So you know, it was like, it just was kind of that was like another layer to it. And if you were to ask, Well, if you were to sit down and just say like, Well, you know, what, how, how are things going with diabetes? And celiac, he would, he would tell you like, he doesn't mind diabetes. He doesn't mind diabetes. He hates celiac. Like that, to him is just such a worst life sentence. And I'm just like, wow, you know, that's, that's pretty eye opening to me. And then, at the same time, like, we've also had some complications. So it's funny, you asked me like, you know, he's probably about 100 pounds, or whatever. It's like, he also is experiencing some growth issues from celiac disease. So we've been having, you know, bone age, scans done of his hand since he was really little. And so he was diagnosed with celiac after type one diabetes. And so we've had the bone age scans done. And he's his bone age is actually 10 years old. And for a 10 year old, it's even on the small end of things. So they're looking right now into whether he's a candidate for growth hormone. And

Scott Benner 1:02:50
so is that attached to the see, like in the diabetes, because I know that I know, people gone through this with their kids. And it's, it's another indicator, it's a different kind of endocrine issue. I don't know that is is, are they related? Has anyone said?

Nickie 1:03:05
Yeah, so his endocrinologist believes that has to do with the celiac disease, so not diabetes, you know, his blood sugar's been, you know, not way Wakata control or anything like that, like, so it shouldn't have anything to do with that. So according to what he says, and he's just looking at that he had a test, I believe it was a pituitary test where he was in the hospital for about six hours. And they had to do this. To give him some medication, and then watch what it did was I don't, I can't remember all the details right now. But that came back normal, like he does excrete gorz growth hormone, but something is off with it. And so, you know, I think sometimes when we have wonky numbers and things like that, like sometimes I wonder if it has to do with all of that they all sort of, you know, they're it's like a symphony, you know, all of it and so

Scott Benner 1:03:57
against you at the same time.

Nickie 1:03:59
Yeah. Yeah. So we're kind of in the process of waiting to find out if he's a candidate for growth hormone,

Scott Benner 1:04:04
what would make him a candidate, you know?

Nickie 1:04:07
Yeah. So basically, they right now they look at his growth chart. And he has kind of flatlined, and he's done this almost every year of his life, like, he'll grow a little bit, and then he flatlines. And so they take, and I don't know, all of the details, like, they look at the way that the curve, you know, how do you know when you go in for your appointment, they show you like, here's how he's tracking, or here's how she's tracking, you know, among the averages and whatnot. And there's a z score that they look at, and I believe what that has to do with is like, is like velocity or it's, it's some calculation that they make. And so the z score, I apologize, I don't know all the details. But you know, this I walked away with, like, what do I need to know from this? You know, what do I need to understand and the big thing was, is that the score needs to be a 2.2. And his was a 2.27. So he's like, you know, The doctor said he will have to basically like petition to get that approved like it will be he said, I'm guessing that they will say no at first and then they will probably say yes after we continue to try to push it through because his according to like their growth skill and everything now, if he if we did nothing, he would probably reach about five foot six. But his genetic potential is somewhere around five, nine or 510. So, you know, so that's that he said that what they argue against is that it they will look at that as cosmetic. Instead of you know, and I'm like, really, that's just like crazy, because this kid,

Scott Benner 1:05:42
I need to get a bolt from the top of the cabinet that's not cosmetic. Say, listen, one day, my son will starve to death. Without this. You're gonna get a bowl. And so please, you can make trust me the doctor, it sounds to me like what your doctor saying is I know how to get this through. So good for you. I just, you know, it's interest and my son would kill to for growth hormone.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:05
I know, right?

Nickie 1:06:08
I would I'm five to so tall, he just

Scott Benner 1:06:11
wants to be taller. And and and so he would, you know, he would I'm assuming he would take the life of another human being for another inch of height, I think. And he's a decent person. But I think that's how much it means though. You know, it's just it's really interesting. I'm five, nine, and I feel it's funny. Around most people, I feel taller. I get around someone who's taller than me. It is really obvious that I'm not tall. You know what I mean? Like, it's, as you meet a guy who's six to him, like, Oh, I'm like his child. He looks at me like, like, I'm like, I'm a small person that he met at the park. And I hate to bring you back to my parents now. You know, but when I meet a guy who's even five, eight, or I stand next to a woman who's my, you know, my wife is five, nine? Uh huh. Sometimes I stand next to a woman who's like five, three. And I think, why did I not do this? I did not try harder to find a woman who I stand next to. And I feel really super tall. And Joking aside. It doesn't help my wife to feel feminine to be standing next to a guy who when she throws heels on is three inches, three inches taller than like, so I was like, I could have made everyone much happier by trying to date shorter women. And so I do some consider that, but not as That's hilarious. Please, you don't mean like there's exams, I'll have a conversation with a couple of moms and I walk away and I realize I feel better about myself. I know, that's ridiculous, right? But just because women who you haven't been married for 20 years actually seem to care what you're saying. But because, like it's, it's the height thing. And so it's more important than as a very long way of saying it's more important than just how I look, you know, like, there's, I can tell you, for sure. It's, it's important to how you feel about yourself, too. You know,

Nickie 1:08:01
I would so wholeheartedly agree. And I think especially for guys, I mean, girls, you know, I feel sometimes like I look like I feel like I do sort of get treated like a child at times. I'm kind of like really, like, you know, people don't always take me as serious. Thank goodness, I have a large personality and it ends up working out. Okay. But, um, no, it but it is it's very,

Unknown Speaker 1:08:26
something to overcome the Wow, genuine, you're always

Nickie 1:08:30
you're always overcoming it. And one of my really, really close friends. It's so funny. She's a six foot tall woman. And here I am five, two, and we walk around together and like, we feel like we have so much in common because, you know, it's like that the opposites like she gets treated differently. Like she was always like, Oh, you know, oh, you must play basketball, you must play volleyball. And she's like, actually, no, I don't you know, I play tennis. And that's what I want to do. You know, it's the assumptions and the weird, you know, things that you get and same thing with me people put their rest their head on my on my head or rest their elbow on my head. You know, that's the way people are they pick me up and like, No, they don't do it anymore. I'm 41. But you

Scott Benner 1:09:11
have no control over what you do. I'm just coming at you. Look how adorable you are. That's, listen, this is I can tell you this, it's going to be a surprise. But your episode will happen after this. So it doesn't matter if we talk about it now. But tomorrow, I'm interviewing the actor Derek feller from the show, baby daddy. He has type one diabetes, but he's also slightly over 65. And as I look at what I'm going to talk to him about my notes, all I want to say to him is how cool is it to be 65 like that's, that's all I want to ask him. You're like, I can't get past any of the other things on my notes. I just keep looking and going. At one point I thought, Oh my God, he's eight inches taller than I am. Like he's like he's like two thirds of a newborn baby longer than me. Like Like, like, just you know, He must look at me and be like, Oh, are you okay? Like, how do you exist? I don't know, he probably doesn't know. Because he's handsome too. And oh my god,

Nickie 1:10:10
invite him over and see if he can help you paint trim or something around the house,

Scott Benner 1:10:14
like salting about his eye, can you get that? I just been looking at it. I don't feel like going to get the broom. Right. But But no, no, he's, um, I hope it's gonna be really interesting. He was diagnosed when he was two. So I think it's gonna be a conversation.

Nickie 1:10:30
So that will be awesome. That's so great.

Scott Benner 1:10:33
I just brought it up, because he's Six, five. And I just like I said, I have a handful of notes here in front of me. And I'm like, I'm gonna I know, when you listen to that episode, I guarantee I'm gonna launch into how tall are you five minutes? And because I'm for sure, because I'm fascinated by like, you know, it's not everybody gets to be that tall. Like, it's really, it's really kind of cool. So

Unknown Speaker 1:10:53
anyway, it is cool. It's really cool.

Scott Benner 1:10:56
I hope your son is approved for the, you know, for the therapy, because, you know, he sounds like it would be right for him, you know?

Nickie 1:11:04
For sure, for sure. Thank you for the thoughts. And yeah, I am really hoping that we can move down that road. And, you know, I like you said, I think psychologically, you know, I think there's just some self esteem that kind of gets gets tied up in that a little bit. And I wouldn't want you know, he's already has celiac. He already has type one diabetes, what's not given one more thing that's preventable. You know what I mean? Like, this is preventable. And he can, he can be more of an appetite guy, if we move forward with this, you know,

Scott Benner 1:11:34
therapy. And by the way, thank you, I don't even have to do an Omnipod or Dexcom ad because of how you talked about your technology today. So let's just say now if you want to learn more, go to buy on the pod.com forward slash juice box or dexcom.com. forward slash fuse box for more information. There we go. All done. And it's funny, too.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:56
It is really.

Scott Benner 1:11:59
I don't know if it's interesting, or if I find it exciting or not, but I don't ask people what they do to manage like, yeah, you can you know, vouch anybody who's been on the show vouches? I don't ask details about your life. I don't ask like we figure them out while we're talking. And so, but more people than not are like, Oh, I use it on the pod or I, you know, I we have DAX calm or something like that. I'm like, wow, it's it really is growing, you know, just in the community in general. Like, I think that's, I really do think that's fantastic. Because Dexcom would probably tell you that their biggest problem is, is that not enough people know what it is yet. Right? And so I just think it's exciting that that it's making its way, you know, I think it's so valuable, and we are gonna have to say goodbye, because we're over an hour, but do you want to get started and structure?

Unknown Speaker 1:12:44
I would say it is 111 99.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:48
Good guess nice. Very nice. I guess.

Scott Benner 1:12:52
I just really appreciate you coming on. And thank you so much. Do you have a blog? I didn't ask you anything about it. But it was in your email sign offers after your business.

Nickie 1:13:01
It probably was for my business. Yeah. So I just have a website that goes to my Fitness Studio. So we do have a blog on there, but we have a guest who writes it. So

Unknown Speaker 1:13:10
he's one of our members who writes it and so is your studio in Minnesota.

Nickie 1:13:14
It is Yep, it's in our little downtown area here in Rosemount.

Scott Benner 1:13:18
What's the dress?

Nickie 1:13:20
Um, it is Nikki and I ck IE Kerrigan ca ri ga n fitness.com. And our studio is called the warehouse.

Scott Benner 1:13:29
So that's your local. Check it out. That's great. Thank you again, Nikki. I really appreciate you coming on.

Nickie 1:13:35
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. Love your podcast.

Scott Benner 1:13:39
No, thanks. It was my pleasure. Thank you. Yes, you

Nickie 1:13:41
have an awesome day.

Scott Benner 1:13:42
You too. Wasn't Nikki fantastic. Yes, she was. I thought you were thinking that that's why I said it. I think we're thinking it together. Thanks to Dexcom and on the pod for sponsoring the podcast, my on the pod.com forward slash juice box and dexcom.com forward slash juice box to learn more. I also have a giveaway going on in the blog. Let me look real quick and see when it's over. I think I might know off the top of my head but it turns out that I don't on what I can tell you it's ardens de.com forward slash giveaways. And it runs till January 12. At midnight eastern time, she got about three more days. If you're downloading this the first couple days giving away some stuff. Go take a look on wednesday.com for slash giveaways. If when you get there this giveaway is over it's after the 12th of January. There's sometimes giveaways happening constantly all the time or throughout the year. You never know