#1438 Pretzel
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Julia, a 26-year-old with T1D, Hydrocephalus, ADHD, Autism, and OCD, discusses life, insulin management, job struggles, and her alert dog.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
Speaker 1 0:15
Hi, I'm Julia. I'm 26 years old, and I have been type one diabetic since November of 2004
Scott Benner 0:26
nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink, ag one.com/juice box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy Earth com, all you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident? If you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d exchange.org/juicebox and take the survey. When you complete that survey, your answers are used to move type one diabetes research of all kinds. So if you'd like to help with type one research, but don't have time to go to a doctor or an investigation, T 1d exchange.org/juice, box. This episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next.com/juice, box. The episode you're listening to is sponsored by us. Med, us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us. Med, Hi,
Julia 2:00
I'm Julia. I'm 26 years old, and I have been type one diabetic since November of 2004 2004
Scott Benner 2:13
1424, that's 20 years so you're you were six when you were diagnosed? Yes, wow. Gosh. That feel like a long time? Or how does it feel? I
Speaker 1 2:23
don't remember, yeah, I don't remember life before I was diagnosed. Yeah,
Scott Benner 2:29
you don't have a before and after. No, do you think that's a good thing? Or do you does that make you sad? Sometimes,
Speaker 1 2:36
I guess it's a good thing. Like, I didn't feel like I had to, like, stop eating something. And I mean, pretty much now with the insulin pumps, like I eat every anything in moderation,
Scott Benner 2:47
so you don't feel restricted, I guess is the question,
Speaker 1 2:51
no, like, I know, like before I was on insulin pump, like, you know, but like the technology, like the Dexcom, like I did restrict my eating a little more, but like, you know now that I know my blood sugar, like 24/7 I'm almost a little bit like, bad about eating things sometimes, like, I'll eat things that maybe I wouldn't have eaten, like, for the sensors and stuff like, explain, tell me how I have ice cream, like every day, dessert Time at dinner after dinner. Are you telling
Scott Benner 3:22
me that because you can see your blood sugars now and you're able to manage it well, that you eat more ice cream than you would have back when you were worried, like, oh, I don't know how this is gonna go. Probably, Oh, so you're saying, okay, okay, cool, yeah, all right. Well, that's interesting. And do you think that's been detrimental to you, or do you think that's been something that's opened your life up. I
Speaker 1 3:41
mean, my a, 1c is pretty good. It's like, think it was like 6.3 before, like, last time I go to my endocrinologist next week. So
Scott Benner 3:52
do you look at your variability, like, how up and down your blood sugars are? Do you look at your time and range, stuff like that?
Speaker 1 3:58
Yeah, yeah. I've actually found that gluco app shows a better time and range for some reason than the clarity app. Is
Scott Benner 4:06
it set at a different range? Like, is the clarity app could be? Yeah,
Speaker 1 4:11
it could be because, you know, I only have it for my doctor's sake. Because, like, I guess in order to download my data, they need the gluco app and the clarity app. And, like, never even touched any of the settings. I just I do what they say. So
Scott Benner 4:26
I was gonna say the the range, like, what's the range that you think of as your goal, and what range is on those apps?
Speaker 1 4:33
Well, I'd have to go to the apps to look at them. I don't remember off the top of my head.
Scott Benner 4:37
Well, where do you like to keep your blood sugar? Where are you most comfortable with
Speaker 1 4:42
it, like 70 and like, or no, like, some 70 is too low. Like, oh, here, here, I'll tell you this. Go ahead so, and this is something I was planning to bring up later in the conversation, but I have a diabetic alert dog, right? Okay, and her alert and. Numbers. Like, we had to train her to alert at a certain number. And she alerts at what, at 90 and 190 she'll, like, start alerting, like, a half hour, even before I'm there, like, so she's like, even ahead of the Dexcom,
Scott Benner 5:13
she can feel like, sense your rises and falls. You think,
Speaker 1 5:18
yes, yeah, I'm, like, not necessarily always aware of hyper or hypoglycemia. So like, you know, people say, Oh, why do you need a Dexcom? Or why do you need a diabetic alert dog if you have a Dexcom and, like, I say, well, sometimes she's more accurate. Like, there'll be days when my Dexcom, like, is, like, failing, and it's like 100 points off in range, right? You know, yeah,
Scott Benner 5:48
now I hear you. Let's Let's go. How long have you had the dog for? Like, what made you think, like, I really should get a diabetes alert dog? So
Speaker 1 5:55
actually, it was, I read the book, and I believe you had her on the podcast, Allen coach by Stephanie Shaheen, yeah, sure. And I found that one day at my local library, and I was like, Oh, this sounds amazing. What is this all about? So I checked it out from the library, and then, like, it took a while to convince my parents. At that point I was like, 17 or 18, I had enrolled in community college just because, like, you know, I didn't really want to go live in a dorm and not have,
Scott Benner 6:26
like, felt better to it felt better to live at home and commute. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So tell me when you went to them about the dog, I imagine they can be expensive. So, yeah, what was their response? Well, they
Speaker 1 6:41
were like, let's think about it for a while. A couple years later, I met somebody through one of the local JD JDRF chapters who had one of these Diabetic Alert dogs, and my mom and I went to go meet her, just like to see what it was all about and like, what the dog was like, and if it was like, a sure thing. When we came home from that meeting, my mom's like, okay, yes, you can do that. Oh,
Scott Benner 7:08
wow, cool. They were able to help you get it all set up and pay for it and stuff like that. I did a GoFundMe, did you really, yeah, oh, that's crazy. And that worked. How much did it? How much did the dog
Speaker 1 7:18
cost? Am I allowed to, like, mention this specific organization, or no. I mean, if you want to Sure, okay, as I said, it was the same organization that Stephanie Shaheen, daughter el went through, and that's cares Inc, out of Concordia, Kansas, back when I got the dog in October of 2021 they charged $5,000 I think when Elle got her dog, they charged 25 or $3,500 and now I think they charge 7500 which is still a lot cheaper than, you know, diabetic alert dogs of America, which charges like 30,000 Yeah,
Scott Benner 7:57
so that's a lot. Hey, for $30,000 you could probably pay a guy to walk around behind you and just, like, just, yeah, yeah, you know, like, look at your CGM constantly, yeah. That seems like a lot of money for a dog, right? Well, that's nice. So your parents were able to help you. And then, how old were you when you got them? Or her, I'm sorry, which? What was the dog? A boy,
Speaker 1 8:15
girl, I should have started with that. Her name is pretzel. Ah, how old? How old were? You got pretzel? I was 23 okay,
Scott Benner 8:24
all right, few years
Speaker 1 8:26
I got her, like, right? I'd say the pandemic was still going on. But, like, it was October 2021, so, so it was, wasn't like lockdown time. It was just like, you know, people being cautious and like, now, you know, as an immunocompromised person, I try to be cautious about COVID myself, like I don't want to make this political and all that, which I don't think it should be political. But, you know,
Scott Benner 8:51
just try not to get sick, if you can. Right? I actually had COVID in
Speaker 1 8:55
January of 2023, and basically all I had was, like a post nasal drip, and, like, I tested negative within like, three days.
Scott Benner 9:06
Well, I was I got, when I got COVID, I was sick for a while, and it hit me pretty hard. I was vaccinated and everything, and I just got, like, it hit me hard. So, yeah, no, nobody wants to be sick. Do you have other issues, like, other medical issues. Oh yeah, I do. You're like, Oh yeah, definitely. Hold on.
Speaker 1 9:24
This is this thing I sometimes I post anonymously in that, in the in the Juicebox group, I mentioned these other disabilities and, like, you know, like, if I say this, they're gonna know, like, oh yeah, that's that person with these conditions. So it's interesting. I was born with a neurological condition called hydrocephalus, sure, which is water on on the brain. It's a build up of cerebral spinal fluid, and I had my first of several brain surgeries at three days old. Wow. Then when I was six, is when I got to that. Diagnosed with type one, but we believe I caught that. Well, I don't want to say caught it, but inherited it from my grandfather, who was type two, and my aunt, who's type one, she would actually be considered like adult diagnosis, because I think she was 29 when she got it. In the last couple years, they've, like, they've changed the terminology about type one, just being about children and stuff. I have an anxiety disorder, which I guess a lot of people have, but, you know, mine's kind of bad and and then, more recently, I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism.
Scott Benner 10:39
Okay. Oh, wow. So and do you have any long term impacts from the hydrocephaly? There's a lot that can come with it, right? You've probably heard me talk about us Med and how simple it is to reorder with us med using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you, but I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email, because I don't trust myself 100% so one time I didn't respond to the email, and the phone rings the house. It's like, ring. You know how it works. And I picked it up. I was like, hello, and it was just the recording was like, US med doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying. It said, Hey, you're I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, Hey, your order's ready. You want us to send it, push this button if you want us to send it, or if you'd like to wait. I think it lets you put it off, like, a couple of weeks, or push this button for that. That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it. Us, med.com/juice, box. Or call 888-721-1514, get your free benefits checked now and get started with us. Med, Dexcom, Omnipod, tandem freestyle, they've got all your favorites, even that new eyelet pump. Check them out now at us, med.com/juice, box. Or by calling 888721151, 887211514, there are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at Juicebox podcast.com to us, med and to all the sponsors. The contour, next gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash, then you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contour, next.com/juicebox, you're going to find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite, aid, Kroger and Meyer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter, then you would pay through my link for the contour next gen and contour next test strips in cash. What am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now, even with your insurance, and I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that, but what I can say for sure is that the contour next gen meter is accurate. It is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Contour next.com/juice box. And if you already have a contour meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the Juicebox Podcast link will help to support the show.
Speaker 1 13:20
Yes, I actually have a head tick. So the cat my camera's not on, but if my camera was on, you would see my tick that I do, like uncontrollably. Is it pretty constant? Yeah, but I don't. The thing is, I don't know when I'm doing it. So I recently found out that Billy Eilish has Tourette's and she has a tick. So,
Scott Benner 13:46
I mean, I don't know, obviously a ton about hydrocephaly, but I know that it could kind of impact, like motor development, trying to remember what I know, like maybe vision and hearing stuff like that, or cognitive stuff. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 13:59
Like, I have strabismus, which is lazy eye, and that they said was from the hydrocephalus. Okay, I don't remember if it was your group or another group. I did remember talking to another parent of a person who had type one and hydrocephalus, because I was wondering if they were connected somehow. And I think, like, two parents commented saying, Oh, my kid has both.
Scott Benner 14:24
I see, yeah, you don't meet a lot of people that have it.
Unknown Speaker 14:29
No, they're the mix. Yeah.
Scott Benner 14:30
And what about how does the autism diagnosis come as an adult or as a child?
Speaker 1 14:35
Yeah, that actually came this past spring, spring 2024 How do you get
Scott Benner 14:42
to that, like, what's going on in your life, where you end up being in a situation where somebody's trying to diagnose you, like, what was happening that made you think, like, I need help or intervention or whatever.
Speaker 1 14:52
And this is where I said I didn't want to go into all my problems, because I post anonymously on the diabetes group. Blah.
Scott Benner 15:00
You don't have to say anything. You don't want to. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1 15:03
yeah. But, like, you know, like, quite frankly, I haven't been employable. And like, you know, I was wondering, is it me, is it my other disabilities? Is it just the fact that I'm saying I always I was, was on the on job applications, saying yes, because I didn't want to lie, but then I switched to prefer not to answer. And I'm like, well, is that just as bad? So
Scott Benner 15:28
you were applying for jobs and just not getting them, and you thought, like, Is this because I'm saying I have diabetes? Is it because I'm saying like, or are they seeing something about me that I don't realize? Is that the idea, yes, okay,
Speaker 1 15:42
I haven't done unemployment yet. I'm a little hesitant too, because, like, I don't, and this is gonna go into, like, sort of semi political thing, but I don't like how they limit the amount of money in your bank account. That just seems a little weird to me. I know there's other Hold on.
Scott Benner 15:59
I don't know what you mean. Who limits money in your bank account? I forget if it's
Speaker 1 16:02
SSI or SSDI, but one of them, you have to only have, like, 2000 or $3,000 in your bank account at a time. So
Scott Benner 16:11
you're receiving some sort of public assistance, and if you make too much money, they'll take it from you. Yes,
Speaker 1 16:16
and that's why I haven't joined SSI yet, but I've been at a job since July. Again, what kind
Scott Benner 16:23
of job do you feel like you would enjoy? Well, honestly,
Speaker 1 16:26
I go on your group and I say, what kind of jobs are hiring for people with who want to help people with diabetes but do not have a college degree? Because, like, that's the other thing. On an academic level, I couldn't get a college degree because, in addition to all my other disabilities, I have something called this calcula, which is basically math dyslexia. And I went to a state school or no, so sorry. First I went to community college, and they were like, well, we can't let you graduate with an Associates unless you pass the math classes. But I was going to tutoring like four days a week and still failing. So they were like, well, Here, try this state school and you might have better luck. So I got the neuropsych eval done with the state school, because it was a state school and rather large, the Disability Services place was not very good. They forgot my name multiple times, and they also lost my paperwork multiple times. And then when I got into the talking with them about math, they were like, well, there's a chance we can let you skip math, but there's a chance not. And at that point, vocational rehab was, like, Julia, you're, you're 2425 I don't exactly remember when, how well I was, but, like, you don't have much job experience. If I were you, like, I just kind of drop out and see what, what you can get for work. Because, like, with all my things, I was not, um, you
Scott Benner 18:02
weren't having a lot of success at school. And, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 18:06
And I was too overwhelmed to work part time at the same time, right?
Scott Benner 18:10
Yeah, I understand. And yeah, can I ask, like, when you, when you get looked at for the somebody's going to try to make a diagnosis for you, and they come back with an autism diagnosis? Do you know what it is that they saw that led to that diagnosis, and did do you agree with it? I didn't
Speaker 1 18:26
even consider it until, like, my therapist brought it up to me this past winter. I think I was in special ed K 12. I was around autistic people, but I didn't consider myself like them, and yes, I know that Autism is a spectrum. I also should clarify that I was mostly around autistic boys and like I don't want to say anything that's inaccurate, because I was only recently diagnosed, and I'm still trying to learn more about autism, but my understanding is that boys and girls present differently, and it's much harder to both diagnose both autism and ADHD in girls and women I see than boys and men. Well,
Scott Benner 19:13
it's a lot, because now you've got to, like, learn all about this, like, this new world that you're you're being told you fit into but you're not even certain if you do,
Speaker 1 19:22
yeah, thankfully, I have discovered some people commented on one of my posts one time and said, Well, there's an ADHD and T 1d group, and there's an autism with T 1d group. So I I joined those, and they're much smaller in stature them like your group, and I barely see any posts from them on my feed. But you know, it's also good to know that they're out
Scott Benner 19:47
there. Yeah, no, of course. Like, hopefully, if you really needed something and you posted, people would say it, you know, yeah, yeah, that would be nice. What makes you want to come on the podcast? Because
Speaker 1 19:58
anything i. Discovered, like, with the experiences I've gone through, like, I want to advocate for people like myself with diabetes and with other conditions. Like, I'm not saying, like, I'm going to say things accurately. Like, that's why I don't want to talk about autism too much, because, like, again, I'm still learning about autism. But like, I want to be a voice. I want to be like a, like, not like a guiding light, but like a,
Scott Benner 20:25
I understand what you like. Yeah, you would, you would like it if you were able to share your story, in case people like you have a similar story. Is that, right? Yeah, yeah. Eventually,
Speaker 1 20:34
I'm hoping to maybe get hired by a diabetes company of some sort, I don't know doing what, but like, I'd love to work for a company that, like, highlights people with diabetes, or works with people with diabetes or even people with disabilities. Like, before, I wanted to have a career in that. But like, you know now I'm seeing like, there's so much like miscommunication and like misrepresentation about people with disabilities that, like, I think it's important. So
Scott Benner 21:03
do you see yourself like working in the building or being like a social media, like influencer for them, or what is it you're imagining? Maybe
Speaker 1 21:12
part of both, because I'm really good at social media, as a lot of people my age are, but you know, it'd be, it'd be nice to like, work with, like a, like a, like an organization, and like, be employed by them, yeah, not just like a sponsored influence or
Scott Benner 21:28
something. Do you have any idea what you'd be, what you think you'd be good at? I'm
Speaker 1 21:32
very good at writing so like writing up posts for social media, or writing up blogs like,
Scott Benner 21:39
yeah, and have you reached out to companies or to organizations? I've,
Speaker 1 21:44
I've done it a little bit, but most of them are saying, Oh, well, just look at our the jobs we're hiring. And most of them are, like, not where I'm living, or like, they need to do in the office, like, 40 hours a week, and like, you couldn't do that, right? Is that right? Yeah, I'm just trying to work 20 hours right now. Like, I need to, like, get my like together, so to speak.
Scott Benner 22:09
Sorry. What devices do you wear? You have a Dexcom. I heard you say, what else?
Speaker 1 22:13
Yes, so I have a Dexcom, and I think I'm allowed to say that I'm in the Omnipod five, limited market release, which I guess by the time this airs will hopefully be out in full market
Scott Benner 22:29
I would imagine, yeah, I would imagine it would be so. So tell me a little bit like you're in the limited market release for what, for iPhone app, or for something else for
Speaker 1 22:37
the iPhone, yes, oh, wow, which means it's not compatible with the Dexcom g7 yet, because they like for the iPhone app. Okay, I guess they're rolling that out soon, because, like, you know, I get so sick of those two hour warm ups, like, I have a good diabetes week, and then I'll do the two hour warm up. And during that two hours, not knowing what my blood sugar is like, screw it up in those two hours. Tell me
Scott Benner 23:02
what happens in the in that gap. I
Speaker 1 23:04
know what it is, like, every other hours of the week, but like, those two hours, I don't know what it is. And, like, I don't know if it's anxiety and anxiety thing or, like, does your
Scott Benner 23:14
blood sugar start to go up? Do you start eating because you're afraid you're low and and how come you? Yeah, I
Speaker 1 23:19
think a little bit of all that. Yeah, do you test? I don't test as much as I should. I know I I sound like one of those people that's like, Oh, I like, that's newly diagnosed, and they just want to use a Dexcom. And like, you know, I did the stone ages way, so to speak. I know it wasn't as stone ages as putting the needle in the spoiling water and reusing it. But like, you know, I did the multiple daily injections for years, and I did the testing multiple times a day for years. Like, as I've commented on post in the group A lot of times, I didn't get the Dexcom until I was out of high school. I think I was like 19 or 20, I went to the nurse every day, three times a day, four times a day, sometimes I was in the nurse's office more than I was in class. Now I'm just going on a tangent. No,
Scott Benner 24:10
no, I hear you. So you know, so, so you know that that two hour warm up period causes you grief, but you don't test and can you tell me why?
Unknown Speaker 24:18
Oh, you sound like my doctor. I don't know.
Scott Benner 24:21
I'm just asking, listen, you can do whatever you want. I'm just asking, like, when you know that that's a pain point for you, how come you don't prioritize the testing in there? If
Speaker 1 24:30
I felt really, really sick, like, if I was peeing a lot like, or like, nauseous, or whatever I would, I'm making myself sound like, sound like a very bad diabetic, and this is gonna need severe editing. No, you're
Scott Benner 24:44
not. No, you're listen, I think you're sharing what's happening to you, which I think probably happens to more people than you would expect. And I'm wondering if you can add insight into what stops you from just testing a couple of times. And maybe people could say, like, I mean, you say. You wanted to come on and see if and share your story like, you know, tell me, like, What stops you? Is it just, are you can I give you some examples? Are you irritated that you have to do it? Do you forget? Do you find yourself feeling combative about it, like I shouldn't have to do this? Or do, you know, even,
Speaker 1 25:18
like, I would say a bit like all the above kind of and then not to mention the fact that, you know, I had to keep track of where my meter was all the time. And now that I don't really use it, I don't keep track of it as much. And I think you could
Scott Benner 25:37
do it, Julia, I think you could, like, plan ahead and have your meter around every 10 days, don't you?
Speaker 1 25:42
I'm not liking what I'm saying here, and like I'm putting my foot in my mouth, and I
Scott Benner 25:48
think you're being honest. I just feel like you're being honest. If you're uncomfortable, you should stop, but I feel like you're being honest, yeah,
Speaker 1 25:54
yeah, no, I'm I'm Scott. What I'm doing is word vomit. Essentially, I
Scott Benner 26:00
feel like you're okay. Well, I if you're comfortable, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You shouldn't worry about how you're what you're doing. You're just saying what you're thinking. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Okay, well, if you like, we'll move past it. Yes, absolutely. So, okay, so you have the dog. Can I ask you, what are the like value ads, like, what are the things that you've noticed having the dog have been helpful with? And are there some things that it's been a problem for? Like, what are the goods and the bads
Speaker 1 26:29
it's been good because, like, you know, she makes me aware, because she'll start alerting to me, like, like, an hour, sometimes even before my Dexcom is going to go off and like so she'll know, like, I'm in a normal range, and she knows I'm heading either direction. I don't know which direction always, because, you know, sometimes there's that steady arrow, and she'll be alerting when there's a steady arrow and like, something's happening. So you gotta watch it. And
Scott Benner 26:58
then you look and you have, like, a 125, blood sugar, but it's not, doesn't seem to be moving in either direction at the moment. Yeah, and
Speaker 1 27:06
then, like, 30 to 60 minutes later, that alarm is going off. Isn't that incredible? It is
Scott Benner 27:13
pretty incredible. Well, listen, so then my question is, is when she alerts you, do you just wait to see what happens next? Or do you test or do something to, like, intervene.
Speaker 1 27:22
So what I do is, like, technically, I'm only supposed to, like the service dog company only, only recommended doing this. Like, if I'm if she's alerting to the numbers we set. Like, I said, 90 and 190 but since she gets so enthusiastic about like, alerting to me and like, doesn't like, basically as a panic attack, I'd say, I'll give her a treat before it's the required number to kind
Scott Benner 27:48
of calm her down. Yeah? And does that stop her from alerting? Though,
Speaker 1 27:51
not always. Oh, the other thing she does when she alerts, she pants, so like, she'll start panting all of a sudden. At first, we just thought, is this dog extremely thirsty? Is this dog like very hot, like we couldn't understand the panting. And then I talked to some people from the who had diabetic alert dogs from the same organization. They said, No, their dog does the same thing. Do you find
Scott Benner 28:14
it valuable having the dog? Or do you or is it like, more problems than value?
Speaker 1 28:21
Oh, 100% valuable. Like, I know, like, she's only four now, but like, I can't imagine living life without her. And like, you know, it's who's to say what the technology is like in 510, years. But like, I almost kind of not want to live without a diabetic alert dog now that I've had one,
Scott Benner 28:41
right? Oh, that's good. Well, that's good. So it's been a real positive experience for
Speaker 1 28:45
you. Yeah, excellent. Did I mention her name is pretzel. Pretzel.
Scott Benner 28:48
I know pretzel. I don't know if she's a girl or a boy, but I'm imagining she's a girl, because I think I hear you calling her she, yes, she is. She your only dog. Had you had a dog prior to that ever?
Speaker 1 28:59
Oh, no. And this, this is where we can talk about, like my, my life, life a little bit. So I live on a farm in rural Massachusetts, and we have 300 sheep. My parents are sheep farmers, wow. And we have one Border Collie and three Great Pyrenees, guard dogs, okay? And so pretzel has many dog friends, and she also has a lot of cat friends, because we have several cats too, indoor, outdoor cats. She so she loves other animals. Good,
Scott Benner 29:34
good. Again. You have other you have other pets and working animals too, yeah, but this
Speaker 1 29:39
is the coolest thing, and I can't believe we only just are just getting to this now, our quote, unquote, new Border Collie, which we got this past December, started alerting to my blood sugars too. With no training, she is far from like the professionally trained, like perfect in person service dog. Like, you can't you? We've taken her out in person a couple times, and she's like, you know, crazy, because she's like, I think she's just like, a year and a half now or so, how
Scott Benner 30:08
do you think she learned? My mother and I go back and forth.
Speaker 1 30:11
Her being seeing pretzel get treats, and wanting to notice that when she paused me, she gets a treat. But she's also alerted before pretzel has apparently, Border Collies are the smartest breed, or one of the smartest breeds, and we think she just has a
Scott Benner 30:31
knack for it. She just figured it out. That's pretty awesome. That's nice. Weird
Speaker 1 30:34
thing is, we've had like, four or five other border collies in my lifetime, and none of them knew how to do it,
Scott Benner 30:41
maybe seeing presel Do it somehow. Yeah, help them figure help that one figure it out. Hey, how come you don't work on the
Speaker 1 30:48
farm? Or do you I help out somewhat on the farm?
Scott Benner 30:52
Okay, but it's not a job. No, okay, no. Do you have brothers and sisters? No, I'm an only child. Okay, how about other like you said that you had a relative with type two and a relative with type one. Do you have any other autoimmune issues for yourself, personally or with your mom or your dad? Not that I know of. Okay, all right, when you post in the group and you're looking for answers, do you generally find that you get some Yes. You find it valuable. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 31:21
I mean that I've noticed recently, and this is nothing against you, Scott, but I've noticed recently that Facebook has changed the way things are. And if you don't put a post with your image, sorry, image with your post,
Scott Benner 31:36
you'll it ignores it a little bit. Yes, yeah, you won't
Speaker 1 31:39
be a scene. So I try to put some sort of image in my post and make it seem you
Scott Benner 31:46
ask a question, you feel like you get a good response and a conversation with people. Yes, good, yeah, that's excellent. How did you find the podcast?
Speaker 1 31:54
I actually found the Facebook group before I found the podcast, I had recently joined Facebook. Like, I was actually a late to Facebook person. I joined it like, I think when I was like, 18 or 19, like, a year or so before the pandemic, yeah, I was searching diabetes one day, and your group popped up, okay,
Scott Benner 32:19
and then you got in there, popped around, figured out it was from a podcast. And now you're Yeah, here, okay, well, that's amazing. Yeah, now I'm on the podcast too. Well, you certainly are. That's excellent. Very cool. You're using Omnipod five, right? So, yes, do you find that using, you know, like an algorithm based system, like this, has it been valuable for you? Has it made things easier, like, what's your experience with
Speaker 1 32:42
it? I think this is just how my body works. I don't think the Omnipod five keeps me in range as much as some other pumps have in the past. Specifically, like the Medtronic one, like I personally, unfortunately had a bad experience with tandem only because their their setup is little hard for people with dexterity issues like myself, that's a message to tandem to change up their system in the future for people with dexterity issues,
Scott Benner 33:12
what about the tandem pump? Did you find difficult putting
Speaker 1 33:16
the insulin in that tiny hole and then attaching that tube to the other part of the system. Okay, it was a couple years ago, so I kind of forgot, that's
Scott Benner 33:26
forgot. And then Medtronic, you said, What do you know, what system you were using with Medtronic,
Speaker 1 33:32
I was on it up to like one or two systems before they started requiring you use their own system. So
Scott Benner 33:40
they're on CGM, yes, okay, yeah, okay, yeah. And so that was just a, just a regular old in some pump it had as you set up the basal raids, it didn't, it wasn't making adjustments or anything for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1 33:51
yeah. I want to say my last Medtronic was a 630 G, but I don't remember. I
Scott Benner 33:57
see, and then you went from Medtronic to tandem, then from tandem to Omnipod.
Speaker 1 34:03
Yes, I see because I was, quite frankly, just fed up with the tubing. Like, that's another thing. Like, I'm clumsy, so I used to rip out my tubing at least once a week. And going back to my point about, like, where I mentioned, like, the type of body I have, like, I noticed that for whatever reason, my pods do not always last three days, and they'll start leaking on like day two or 2.5 okay, so I have to have my prescription written for every two days, okay? And still, I don't think it keeps me in as range as like the other ones, but I'm now trying fiasp and hoping that will faster insulin. Yeah, okay. And I know this is it's gonna sound like a sin to come on here and say this, but like, I also am bad at Pre Bolus thing, but I don't think
Scott Benner 34:56
that sounds like a sin at all. So let me ask you, like with the omnipot. Are you, I don't know. Are you thin and you have trouble finding, like, like, kind of flat spots for it? Is it like, wobbling around? Do you feel like the cannula is pulling out? Like, what do you think's happening? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 35:09
Like, I'm like, 110 pounds, about and only four foot 11. So, like, they said that, like, tiny people have these issues. You would think, with all the kids on on the Omnipod, they fix these problems. But do you
Scott Benner 35:25
have do you try, like, one of the like tapes, or over patches or anything to help it from moving? Have you ever tried that? I
Speaker 1 35:31
use skin tack a lot. I felt that the tapes that worked too much like I couldn't get it off when it was time, okay, and it didn't necessarily help with the leaking. Okay. Have you ever tried your belly? Yes, but I can only put it on one side of my belly because of my surgical scars from the hydrocephalus. Oh, no kidding. And also I noticed, and I think I read someone saying this the other day on the group, that the belly is kind of a painful insertion spot,
Scott Benner 36:05
people who are very thin. Yeah, yeah. My daughter wears it there she but she pinches up. So let me ask you, how do you eat? Do you have any special way of eating? I
Speaker 1 36:17
would love to say I'm keto, and I eat low carb, and I have a perfect time and range, but that's not the truth.
Scott Benner 36:24
Why would you love to say that? Because I feel
Speaker 1 36:28
like that's kind of like, the right thing to say, like, and I know like, we shouldn't be talking about, like, there's no really right or wrong with diabetes, because, like, regardless, we're going to have this for life. So I guess, I guess that's why I say that, since I'm gonna have this for life, why don't I just eat what I want, right,
Scott Benner 36:47
right? Make sure I understand. You feel like people are listening, and you should say, I eat very low carb, and my blood sugar is super stable and, like all that stuff. But that's not how you eat. And so, yeah, but you earlier, you said that you're in the range your doctor's happy with your a 1c seems very reasonable, like, so, yeah, how did you learn how to Bolus for the foods that you do eat? Trial
Speaker 1 37:10
and error? I'm a very picky eater, so, like, that's another reason, like, why I was going to tell you I'm not very good at Pre Bolus, because sometimes I'll have a meal, and I'm not sure how much I'm gonna finish of it. Okay,
Scott Benner 37:23
okay, well, it happens to me all the time. I mean, it happens to everybody, which is why, what you'll see people do sometimes, or something I've talked about on the podcast in the past, is I always just assume there's an amount of carbs you probably always eat, right? Like, so even if you sit down with 50 carbs, or you sit down with 40, or you sit down with 80, whatever you have on your plate. Yeah, you can say to yourself, you know what? I don't know how much of this I'm gonna eat, but I don't think I've ever sat down and not eaten 15 carbs. So I'm gonna Pre Bolus the first 15, and then as I see the rest of this food's happening, I'll put in the rest of the insulin, which is kind of how the reason I think of it that way is it's how I used to do it when Arden was younger. Yeah. So does that? Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, what happens you eat your blood sugar shoots up. You got to bring it back down, or it comes back down on its own,
Speaker 1 38:13
yeah? And then that's the other thing that I'll say about. You know how I talk about knowing what my blood sugar is 24/7 Yeah, like when I start to see those double down or double up, I start to, like, either rage Bolus or rage eat, okay? And I don't do that all the time, but it's become a little bit of a pattern, and it's worse on some days than others, okay,
Scott Benner 38:39
yeah. Well, what happens, like, if you see the shooting up blood sugar, for example, is that, like, you're like, Oh, I didn't put in any insulin, or I didn't put in enough insulin. Yeah,
Speaker 1 38:49
I didn't put in enough. And then I don't always correct if there's a double up, depending on how long ago I corrected, like, right now I'm going double up, and I corrected at this moment. 33 Yeah,
Scott Benner 39:04
is that food or do you think you're experiencing adrenaline? It's food
Speaker 1 39:08
and also probably a little bit of adrenaline, because, you know, I was nervous to come on here and talk
Scott Benner 39:13
to you. Yeah, you said before we started recording that you were nervous. Do you still feel nervous? Now,
Speaker 1 39:18
I thought I talked a little bit too much about disabilities, my like, gripes about being disabled, so I was not very happy with that part of the conversation. But I'm also glad that I did talk about disabilities, in a sense. So let me
Scott Benner 39:35
ask you a question, would you, if you like, when, when this gets edited? Like, we could take your name out of it? Would that make you comfortable? Like in the beginning, you said, Hi, my name is Julia. But what instead, if it was like, Hi, my name's and there was a blank space where you said your name and then it went on. Would that be better for you? No, I didn't say
Speaker 1 39:51
my last name, so I think it's okay. Okay,
Scott Benner 39:56
whatever you want. You just let me know. Okay,
Speaker 1 39:59
yeah. I just as long as it's not going to prevent me from getting a job. I guess, you know, my parents are always saying, Be careful what you post online, because it sticks with you forever, and your potential employers could be watching. That's, I think that's a myth.
Scott Benner 40:13
But, well, I listen if, if someone hears you. I mean, I've only been talking to you for 45 minutes, but I would think that if someone hears you talking in here, they'd be interested in you working for them. So yeah, I'd hope so too. Yeah, I think you're doing yourself solid here. I think you're representing yourself very well. I
Speaker 1 40:30
was actually planning on talking about a little bit less about the disability. It flowed well into the conversation. I'd say
Scott Benner 40:37
I'm happy that you're happy with it, yeah. So okay, so your blood sugar might shoot up if you don't Bolus right away. Sometimes you put insulin on, sometimes you don't, but what about when it's falling very quickly? Like, does that? I mean, it must be scary, I imagine. So what do you do that makes me
Speaker 1 40:53
want to eat, like, a lot, and like, fast, and like, you know, back, like, I keep saying back, like, back in the day, like, I'm like, I'm an old person, but it was really only, like, seven or eight years ago when I graduated high school. Like, you know, they had all these rules, but, oh well, you have to prick your finger. You have to go the nurse three times a day and prick your finger, and we will not let you eat greet alone until you're 70 or below. And like, now I'm treating it like way earlier than that. So yeah, I often, like, scroll through the group and I see all these people talking about how, like, their school, like the kids, can, like, manage their diabetes on their own. They sometimes will text their parents their blood sugar without even having to go the nurse. Like, I kind of wish I had that freedom, although I do think the whole having to have a cell phone out in school thing is a little bit complicated, but with diabetes, I don't think it should be locked away either.
Scott Benner 41:55
Yeah, I understand you. Mean, hey, do you have help with your blood sugar management? Do your parents help
Speaker 1 42:00
you? Not so much anymore. If anything, pretzels might help. She She keeps me in line, I'd
Scott Benner 42:08
say. But like when you got Omnipod five, for example. Like, do your parents help you set up the settings? Or did something you did with your health care provider, or you did it
Speaker 1 42:16
yourself? No, I did it my myself. Excellent. Good for you. Yeah, I shouldn't say this either, but I've set up the last few pumps without training, and I think you're doing all right. Supposed to have training.
Scott Benner 42:29
Yeah, Julie, I love how everything you say you're like, I don't think I should be saying this, but here it is. And you know,
Speaker 1 42:35
I don't really think of myself as a person that really says controversial things. I don't, but, yeah, I guess for some reason, Scott, you're really bringing it out in me today. I don't, I don't know what it is. Maybe, maybe I just feel like you're a diabetes whisper and I can tell you all my secrets. I'm on my
Scott Benner 42:55
Oh, well, I'm happy you're comfortable. I would tell you that I don't think that having set up your own system without your doctor is controversial. I'm sure a lot of people have done that. Yeah, you know, you've had diabetes a long time, right? You know, you know what your basal looks like. You understand how to Bolus. You know what your carb ratio is. That's, you know, pretty much, pretty much it, right? Insulin sensitivity, yeah, yeah. Do you find that stuff changing throughout the month for you, or is it pretty stable?
Speaker 1 43:19
Are you talking about, like, on a hormonal level, since I'm a woman, I have Yeah, yeah, and your settings, yeah, okay, I am on birth control. I actually just take it for regulate my periods, because, like, you know, like, when I was like, 18 or 19, I was like, having really heavy periods, and I was like, sick of it, and I went to a new doctor, and I got on the birth control, the pill that, like, I pretty much got my period, period, maybe, like, once a year.
Scott Benner 43:49
Okay, well, yeah. I mean, I don't know about how that's being accomplished, but that sounds nicer. The
Speaker 1 43:55
other thing I kind of wonder is, on the days, if I was, like, supposed to get my period. Had I not been on the birth control? Are there, like, are there certain days that my blood sugar may be worse, and I wasn't very good at tracking my cycle, so I don't really know how to tell that
Scott Benner 44:13
is the variability? Pretty, like, you're not seeing like, significantly different blood sugar. No, like, insulin needs week to week, or something like that. No, no, no, so it makes it easier for you to manage things. Yeah, excellent. I will
Speaker 1 44:27
say that. I don't know if it's because of the leaking pod issue, but my carb ratios are four to seven right now. And like for me, four to seven seems like, like, extremely like, almost like a like, I don't want to go much lower than four to seven. Maybe some people are at lower, but I like, you know, so depending
Scott Benner 44:51
on the time of the day, your blood sugar, your your carb ratio is one unit covers four up to one unit covers seven. Is that? Right? Yes, that's what I mean. So you feel like, you feel like you have a little insulin resistance. Yeah,
Speaker 1 45:04
and I'm, I'm hoping that the fiasco is going to help with that. It's interesting. I've been on the Omnipod limited market release trial for, I think, just like, over a month now, maybe a month and a half. I am thought I was going to be 100% better about, like, bull sing on time, like, Bolus thing as soon as I eat. Like, just because I'm not carrying around one device or two devices, I hear you and like, now I'm like, I've only been slightly better at that, because it's like, you know, I'm like, I'm always looking for my PD. I'm like, where's my PDM, did I lose it? Oh my gosh. What happened to
Scott Benner 45:40
it? Now it's just on your phone and and it's talk about it a little bit. It's it tell me why it's difficult to Pre Bolus consistently, maybe the organizational
Speaker 1 45:49
skills, maybe the picky eating, right? Or maybe just the fact that I am still getting used to it being on my phone. That's the other thing. I have to be careful, because, like, you know, I can see why the kids who have their cell phones locked up in school, like these cell phones can be quite addicting.
Scott Benner 46:07
So you get into that phone and you start doing other stuff. Is that? What happens? Julia, yes,
Speaker 1 46:12
yeah. What are you? My father's on me about that all the time. What grabs
Scott Benner 46:17
your attention in your phone?
Speaker 1 46:18
A lot of people say, like scrolling and like, like, Instagram, yeah, different things. Basically, you don't want to say, Julia, no, maybe not. It's okay.
Scott Benner 46:29
You don't have to, yeah. But basically, the phone, you open up the phone and you you get a little, you get a little side tracked, yeah?
Speaker 1 46:35
And like, you know, I don't think it would have helped me in high school. Like, guess I would have loved to have my phone on me in high school, because, like, you know, high school is boring and stuff like that. I do think there's reasons. And like, you know, gotcha now I have to have my phone on me. 24/7 whereas before, as long as I had my PDM and I didn't, didn't leave my phone for too long. I was okay. Like, I don't want it to, like, say, signal loss for like, hours on it. And
Scott Benner 47:08
right, right, I hear you. I got you. I think most people open their phone and get distracted by something else. Like, there's a lot of lot of shiny stuff in there, and a lot of those algorithms are written to keep your attention and, you know, it's, it works, you know? So, yeah,
Speaker 1 47:24
I hear, um, yeah, you know, another thing I always talk about is, I live in rural Massachusetts, and like, we're, like, we get hit quite a bit, a bit with like snow and like rain and all that the winter. Like, I'm like, Well, what happens in a in a power outage? Like, am I not going to be able to Bolus? Like, what's going to happen? Like, thankfully we haven't, like, we haven't had that happen.
Scott Benner 47:47
Oh, you worry about, you worry about, what if power goes out for too long? What? How do I charge my phone or my devices or something? Yeah, because,
Speaker 1 47:54
not just on the reliance on technology for just like me being a young person, but now on the medical standpoint, like it's a medical device.
Scott Benner 48:06
Okay, well, listen, I would tell you here's the easy answer, in my opinion, go out to the car, plug it into the car, let the car run and and charge it there. Yeah, it's a good idea, right? I've done that before. We've had power outages since Arden's had diabetes, some kind of extensive stuff. And we did the that's exactly what we did. We were like, All right, well, I guess we're just gonna have to go charge it up in the car. And we did, you know, so that worked out really well. I thought,
Speaker 1 48:34
yeah, I also, I buy kind of over by those power bank things. I have a lot of those,
Scott Benner 48:42
yeah? So you have a little, you have a little anxiety about that, is that, right? Well,
Speaker 1 48:46
yes, Scott, we discussed this earlier, an anxiety disorder, but
Scott Benner 48:50
I'm letting people hear about it. So do you, does the disorder have a name? Technically,
Speaker 1 48:55
I think it's OCD. Ah, yeah, because that's what they that's what they said with autism diagnosis that it's like an anxiety disorder related to OCD,
Scott Benner 49:05
okay? And they think that's, that's what they think is part of the autism diagnosis. Yes, okay, yeah. And not hydro the hydrocephaly can't do that.
Speaker 1 49:16
I mean, that's what I would like to know too, but I haven't really been able to find out much information on it.
Scott Benner 49:24
I mean, I looked online for you just now. I don't, you know. I don't know how true or not true it is, obviously, but it says that obsessive compulsive disorder can potentially develop in individuals with hydrocephalus or other neurological conditions. So
Speaker 1 49:37
maybe, wow, yeah, yeah. Well, this is something I'm gonna have to talk to my neurosurgeon about, and maybe I'll have to have talked to him by the time this episode comes out, and I could write you a little note and say, This is what my neurosurgeon said.
Scott Benner 49:51
Yeah, it's just, it says, potentially, I don't know that it, I mean, doesn't mean it did or anything, or not. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not discounting the other thing. But do you have rituals? Just like counting rituals or anything like that. No,
Speaker 1 50:02
it's more the obsessive thoughts like, again, it could also be somehow related to my tic, but I went to a neurologist, and they were like, No, we don't know what to do, so you have to go somewhere else. That wasn't very helpful.
Scott Benner 50:18
We don't know what to do. Go somewhere else. It's definitely not helpful. No, oh, they
Speaker 1 50:22
were like, we can't help you, but we'd like you to have come in for another appointment.
Scott Benner 50:28
We'll take 40 more dollars, but we're pretty sure we can't help
Speaker 1 50:31
that's the other thing that's amazing about Massachusetts. I'm lucky enough to be on mass health so, like, I get my insulin and then all my prescriptions and everything for like, free. Oh, that's awesome. I'm still a proponent of insulin for all. Because how can you not be a proponent of insulin for all of like, yeah, no, I've been lucky enough to. I don't have to pay for it. Good. Well,
Scott Benner 50:55
I'm glad, I'm glad it's working out for you. So give me just one example of, like, obsessive thoughts, like, what something gets stuck in your head, like, what? What's an example of something you've been through before? Well,
Speaker 1 51:06
you know, I sent you that email last week, and you were like, Julia, please don't overthink this with all those questions about the podcast and preparing for it. And I'm like,
Scott Benner 51:16
Yeah, because I don't know you prior to like, I hope people understand, like, until you tell me I have an autism diagnosis when we're speaking, I don't know that. You know, like, I didn't know about hydrocephalus, I didn't know about that, like, so I get to learn. I get to know you while we're recording, just like everybody else does. Yeah, I see your point, though. Yeah, you were you asked a lot of questions. I'm like, you don't need to overthink this. Just show up and we'll talk
Speaker 1 51:38
and it'll all work. I'm not calling you out, Scott, I know
Scott Benner 51:42
Julie, I know. Yeah. Don't worry. You and I are getting along very well. Don't you worry. I understand you. I
Speaker 1 51:47
was just using that as the example I could think of, yeah.
Scott Benner 51:52
So, so what happens is, you start thinking about it, and then you feel like you have to do something about it,
Speaker 1 51:58
yeah? Like, kind of like, when I'm trying to figure out, like, what I'm doing with my life. Like, I email those support people, like the vocational rehab or, like, different support services. And like, I mean, I guess it's kind of hard not having a job right now. And, like, Sure, not knowing when my next job is, like, or, quite frankly, what I want to do with my life. Yeah,
Scott Benner 52:19
I was gonna say, what's the biggest concern there? Is it that you don't have a direction, or that you don't have money because your parents are helping you, I would imagine, right? Yeah,
Speaker 1 52:28
kind of, I don't have a direction, and then also kind of that I don't have a degree. Technically, I'm like, I did like, 50 credits towards a degree, but like, like, no math and no science.
Scott Benner 52:40
Does that concern you? Well,
Speaker 1 52:43
I often say to myself, like, if I'm going to have a hard time getting hired because I'm disabled, how much of a harder time am I going to have getting hired if I'm disabled and don't have a degree? Okay? And you know, Scott, I feel like I'm using you as a therapy session, which I was hoping not to but, you know, doesn't matter. We had a second meeting, you would know that this is right on character for me. Yeah.
Scott Benner 53:09
Okay, so do you have anything that we haven't talked about that we should have, or anything you feel like we've missed?
Speaker 1 53:14
Let's see be kind to people with disabilities. Obviously, this is how I'm gonna leave people like be kind to people with disabilities. Know that everybody's going through something that you don't know what they're going through. I highly recommend that if you can get a diabetic alert dog and like, don't be afraid to fundraise. Because, like, I fundraised and like, made the money. And like, it's it's not necessarily taking charity.
Scott Benner 53:40
Did you feel bad at first when you started doing it? But, or no,
Speaker 1 53:44
no, because, like, my community where I live is very generous,
Scott Benner 53:48
excellent. That's wonderful. I'm glad you found people that are very supportive, that we're willing to help you. It's lovely. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I'm glad that the podcast group is is helpful for you too. I I'm glad it's there for you, and you're finding value with it. Yes,
Speaker 1 54:03
and maybe by the time the stairs, I'll listen to every episode.
Scott Benner 54:06
Good luck. There's a lot of them. I don't know. I was talking to somebody the other day, and they were telling me all the stuff they know about the podcast, and I thought, I don't even know if I know all that. That's really something. So it's like,
Speaker 1 54:17
somebody who, like, re watches, like, the same show, like, over and over again. It's like, I don't know their favorite TV show. And like, knows everything about it. And like, the TV stars don't know anything about it, yeah, no, I find
Scott Benner 54:29
it. It's lovely that people like it so much that they would listen and listen again. It gets a little weird when people think, like, they think they know what I'm thinking, You know what I mean, or they make some big assumptions and stuff like that. I'm like, oh gosh, that's not like, that's not even right, but how do I explain that to you? And if I do, you're just gonna think I'm, you know. You're just gonna think I don't understand, or I'm making it up or something. So you just get, sometimes you get in these weird little loops with people where they It's very strange, like they seem very well intended, but they feel like they know things. And I'm like, oh gosh, you just. You're misunderstanding this, but there's not much I can do about that. So anyway, I really appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you so very much. Yeah, it
Speaker 1 55:07
was, it was so much fun. Oh, Scott, would it be possible if I sent you a picture of pretzel, and I don't know if you can put like,
Scott Benner 55:16
Yeah, send me a good picture. I can put it with the episode. Yeah, okay. That'd be great. That's awesome. Make it a right, a landscape, you know what I mean? Like a little wider than fall, and get it. Get a nice high res picture, send it to me. I'll put it like when I put the when I put the episode up on the website. I'll use the picture, yeah,
Speaker 1 55:33
yeah. And I'll make sure to get one with her service dog best, so everybody knows she's a service dog. Nice. And
Scott Benner 55:39
it's okay if I call the episode pretzel, that'd be perfect. Okay, maybe I'll call it a bowl of pretzels. Who knows? We'll figure it out. Oh, that'd be funny. All right, hold on one second for me. Okay, stay with me.
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