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#1340 Diabetes Is Back

Courtney was misdiagnosed with gestational diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome back to another episode of The juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Courtney. She's 38 years old. Was diagnosed at 29 with gestational diabetes, but later they realized she actually had Lada. She has a bit of anxiety. We talk about that and much more during this episode. Nothing you hear on the juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juicebox at checkout. That's juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juicebox and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at t1 dxchange.org/juicebox, when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juicebox, dot com, slash juicebox.

Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. So screen it like you mean it one blood test can spot type one diabetes early, tap now talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com for more info, this episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by us Med, usmed.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514, get your supplies the same way we do from us. Med, today's episode of The juicebox podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. This is the meter that my daughter has on her person right now. It is incredibly accurate and waiting for you at contour next.com/juicebox

Courtney 2:22
My name is Courtney, and I was diagnosed with type 1.5 Lada or La da when I was 29 years old.

Scott Benner 2:35
How old are you now?

Courtney 2:37
I am 3829

Scott Benner 2:40
38 that's nine years. Okay, we're not going to use actual words that would tell anybody. But did you and I go to the same high school?

Courtney 2:50
No, probably not, probably

Scott Benner 2:51
not. You didn't go. You didn't go where we were talking about just now,

Courtney 2:56
um, if you lived in where we were talking about, then, no, I lived in a different part.

Scott Benner 3:02
Gotcha So,

Courtney 3:04
but very, very close.

Scott Benner 3:06
You taught that you're a teacher.

Courtney 3:08
I was until I do what I do. Now,

Scott Benner 3:10
do you want to tell me what you do now? Sure,

Courtney 3:13
I work for a company that has contracted with the US Patent Office, so I am fortunate enough to work from home, and I sit around editing patents all day, editing

Scott Benner 3:25
patents, and you get did that from teaching, what pays better,

Courtney 3:29
probably in the long run, teaching, I mean, when you're in it for 20 plus years, you know that pays off, but this has allowed me to be around my children more and be there for them pretty much every step of the way. It's pretty flexible, excellent, and it's really helps me with diabetes management. Rather than being in a classroom and having a little blood sugar and being stressed out about it while you're trying to teach, this is I can take care of it and move on with my life and go back to work.

Scott Benner 4:01
Did you enjoy teaching I did? Was it a different experience with diabetes

Courtney 4:06
when I was first diagnosed with diabetes, it's actually a weird story. So I was pregnant with my daughter when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and they told me, Oh, it's a fluke, you know, it's, it's probably just like, you know, something that's just going to go away. You won't have to worry about it. After you have your baby, you'll just get tested again, and then, you know, whatever, you'll be fine. I went through pregnancy thinking I was going to be okay. After having her, I was, I was fine. After having her they tested me in the hospital, like, you know, finger pricking or whatever, and I was totally fine. And then a year later, I went back for blood work. They didn't take a, an A, 1c, or anything. They just, like, took my current glucose and it wasn't fasting, and they told me I was fine. Mm. Yeah. Um, a few months after that, I was like, not well at all.

Scott Benner 5:05
Did you call them and say not fine, not fine,

Courtney 5:09
yeah, eventually. So, I mean, there's a whole story behind that too. Like, for a few months, I was noticing really bad leg pains, like my cast were. It felt like electric shock was going through them all the time, and I had really bad like, Charlie horses in my calves. I noticed I felt really dizzy or like anxious all the time. I also was experiencing like I had to go to the bathroom constantly. And I remember, like, thinking back, like, Oh, I'm so thirsty. Just so thirsty, and my mouth felt like a desert, and I like a dope. Was like, Oh, I drank so much water. I should probably drink Gatorade. So would pound Gatorade after gallons of water, thinking I needed it. But, I mean, probably

Scott Benner 5:57
did, yeah, get your electrolytes back up. Yeah. Yeah. And, like,

Courtney 6:01
it wasn't thinking anything of it, because I had no idea what DKA was, right. And I, you know, just a month before, like, this September, I was tested, and when, like, my daughter was, like, 13 months old. And then by November, was, like, the night that I was like, Oh, this is it was Thanksgiving, my husband's family, does this, like, really fun outing with like 80 people at this, like, camp, they all grew up going to where they have Thanksgiving. They ran out of water, and I was having those symptoms where I was, like, just downing water, and there were no water bottles, but I was so thirsty, so I drank soda, because that's all that was left. And I felt absolutely horrible, like I thought I was gonna die.

Scott Benner 6:48
The contour next gen blood glucose meter is the meter that we use here. Arden has one with her at all times. I have one downstairs in the kitchen, just in case I want to check my blood sugar. And Arden has them at school. They're everywhere that she is. Contour, next.com/juice, box, test strips and the meters themselves may be less expensive for you in cash out of your pocket than you're paying currently through your insurance. For another meter. You can find out about that and much more at my link. Contour next.com/juicebox contour makes a number of fantastic and accurate meters, and their second chance test strips are absolutely my favorite part. What does that mean, if you go to get some blood and maybe you touch it, and, I don't know, stumble with your hand and like, slip off and go back, it doesn't impact the quality or accuracy of the test. So you can hit the blood, not get enough, come back, get the rest, without impacting the accuracy of the test. That's right. You can touch the blood, come back and get the rest, and you're going to get an absolutely accurate test. I think that's important, because we all stumble and fumble at times. That's not a good reason to have to waste a test strip. And with a contour next gen, you won't have to contour next.com forward slash juice box. You're going to get a great reading without having to be perfect. Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. Usmed has done that for us. When it's time for Arden's supplies to be refreshed, we get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from us. Med, you open up the email. It's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one us, med has done that for us. An email arrives, we click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple, US med.com/juice, box, or call, 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put this stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMS like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide, over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514, or go to my link, us, med.com/juicebox, using that number or my link helps to support the production of the juicebox podcast. Adding all that sugar and your body was just like, I cannot process any of this. Your blood sugar was probably super high at that point, everything. Oh,

Courtney 9:44
without a doubt, I remember we were driving home, and we're it was like an hour and a half away from our house at the time just thinking, like, I think I have the flu, like I'm really not okay, still not putting it together, still didn't think it was any. Thing related to diabetes that was two months ago, had the blood test done, and they're like, you're fine. I think my blood sugar was like, 110 when they told me I was fine. Oh,

Scott Benner 10:09
Courtney, let me be make sure I understand gestational diabetes in your mind. That's a thing that happens when you're pregnant. It goes away. You had a follow up, they said it's everything's fine. And so your brain's never gonna go back there again, correct, I would imagine. And this, DKA feels like the flu at first, like that, just like body beat up feeling

Courtney 10:31
Yes, okay, okay, sorry, go ahead. No, you're fine. So we go home Thanksgiving night. I just try to, like, sleep it off, not thinking anything, and actually, like, I get through, like, the next couple of days, and I'm, like, surviving, and I don't know how, but I guess my my body still works somewhat to the point where it must have brought it down to probably still a really high level, but like, high enough that I guess I would my body was just accustomed to it from being high for, I guess, the past couple of months at least. Then my husband and I, we had like, a family photo shoot, and we went out to dinner, and I got pasta, and that night, I shot out of bed, and I was like, I feel horrible. And something told me, Go get your meter from pregnancy. So I did, and my blood sugar was like, 438

Scott Benner 11:34
Wow. It finally hits you, but you don't know why, right? Just jump in your head,

Courtney 11:37
yeah. If something just says, like you're you're not okay, like something isn't right. And I had realized that I had lost a ridiculous amount of weight in like, two weeks,

Scott Benner 11:47
but nothing about the way you felt mimicked how you felt when you were pregnant. Did it?

Courtney 11:53
No, nothing. I didn't need insulin while I was pregnant. I would just I went to the nutritionist, I ate the amount of carbs that they told me to eat during meals, and I never had a problem. I stayed within range almost the entire time, until the like the last three weeks of my pregnancy, my fasting started creeping up over like 105 so they add added a Glyburide to my my regimen, and it was a very small dose, yeah, but looking back, also not a good option for someone who's really, you know, type one, and not, you know, just gestational instead of, like, thinking I need to go to the emergency room, because honestly, I didn't know enough about diabetes to know. So what did I do? I go for a run with my dog at 130 in the morning around the neighborhood.

Unknown Speaker 12:47
Why? Why did you do that one?

Courtney 12:48
Because the I was always told that walking worked, and it did while I was pregnant, I would if my if I was like, 150 or something, I immediately would pound water and go for a walk, and I would be brought back into range, like, I just think I was, like, out of my mind at that point and in denial, definitely. Can I stop

Scott Benner 13:07
you for a second? Is there any other type one in your family? No autoimmune of any kind, thyroid, celiac,

Courtney 13:17
no. Okay, so Well, I mean, this is what doctors have told me it's unrelated. I do have a cousin on my dad's side. He has type one. He was diagnosed at eight, but that's that's it. And they, every doctor has said that's not related, because it's not your father, your mother, your sister, your brother.

Scott Benner 13:36
I mean, I get what they're saying, but I don't know it seems related to me, like my my wife's brother's kid has an autoimmune issue. My wife's sister's daughter has PCOS like that. Don't sound related to you. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. How about when during the pregnancy and the gestational stuff, they were probably like, Wow, you're a light case. It was probably almost in the back of their head, you being gestational but no one said this increases your risk for type two diabetes later in life. They didn't even tell you

Courtney 14:08
that. They did. Tell me that they did, okay. Well, that's Yeah, okay. They said, within like, I think they I don't know if it was like, within five to 10 years, your risk increases by like, 50% and I'm just throwing that out there because it's been a long time, sure, but like, I remember reading that and going, what the heck this stinks. And

Scott Benner 14:29
then also amazing,

Courtney 14:32
yeah, like, at the time, like, I was doing CrossFit workouts with my husband. I was doing them while pregnant with my daughter. So, like, I in my head. I'm like, Yeah, right. I'm not. I'm not gonna end up like that.

Scott Benner 14:44
One of these kids better end up being the CEO of IBM or something. I'll tell you, you know, like, it's a big trade off here. Okay, tell me though you, you're, I'm sorry you're out for the run with the dog. Go back to that. So

Courtney 14:56
I'm running around the neighborhood. I don't sleep at all because I'm in like. Cheer, utter panic, and I'm telling my husband, like, diabetes is back. I have diabetes, like, I don't know what to do. And he's like, Oh, it'll go down in the morning, like, and then we'll call the doctor. So hours and hours later, I'm still sitting at, like, 279 according to my meter, like, and that was that morning. So I dropped my daughter off to my mom, and then I, I'm like, we need to go, like, because I need to be diagnosed. And it was a Sunday, so like, my doctor wasn't open. So we go to the ER, and they do all kinds of blood work, and they're like, Oh, well, you know, you're not in DKA, so that's good, but you have type two diabetes. Here's Metformin, and your a 1c, is 10.5 and you're just gonna need to follow up with your doctor.

Scott Benner 15:45
Courtney, you're not gonna get a lucky break in the beginning of this story at all. Are

Courtney 15:49
you No? No. Okay,

Scott Benner 15:51
so it starts better. Oh, go ahead, please. I want to know.

Courtney 15:56
So I go to my doctor and I meet with her, and she's like, and thank God for her Honestly, my family doctor, and she looked at me and said, No, you're not a type two. There's no way they've got it wrong. I'm gonna test you for type one. And I'm sitting there like, I don't even know what that is like, what? Is that? What's the difference and why? And she's like, because you're a young, healthy, active, there's more to this story. There's no way. So she did, and my C peptide was normal, which was nice when, but my dad was positive, and that was the only one that I had positive and she said, that's all it takes. And then right then and there. She said, You have a slower, progressive form of type one. She called it Lada, yes, okay. And then referred me to an endocrinologist. So off I went. I went to my endocrinologist, who then refused to give me a title, she said, I don't know what you are. From

Scott Benner 17:04
the very beginning, your kids mean everything to you. That means you do anything for them, especially if they're at risk. So when it comes to type one diabetes, screen, it like you mean it. Now up to 90% of type one diagnosis have no family history. But if you have a family history, you are up to 15 times more likely to develop type one. Screen it like you mean it, because type one diabetes can develop at any age, and once you get results, you can get prepared for your child's future. So screen it like you mean it, type one starts long before there are symptoms, but one blood test could help you spot it early before they need insulin, and could lower the risk of serious complications like diabetic ketoacidosis or DKA. Talk to your doctor about how to screen for type one diabetes, because the more you know, the more you can do. So don't wait, tap now or visit screened for type one.com to learn more. Again, that's screened for type one.com and screen it like, You mean it you're like, I've seen three people three, and somehow there's two, two options. And three people said, three different. Yeah, I bet I'm sorry. That's terrible. So which one did you end up believing? How did you how did you move forward?

Courtney 18:29
It was when I went to my second endocrinologist, my family doctor eventually, like, moved to a new practice. So she said to me, it doesn't matter, but the first endo who said she didn't know what I was, she said, Yeah, your dad, you know, came back high, but it's really not as high as I've ever seen. And I'm like, Okay, well, what does that mean? And she couldn't really give me an answer. She's like, well, your your numbers are fine right now. You don't need insulin right now, so we're just going to keep you on the Metformin. And that was fine with me, because, you know, at the time, taking insulin for everything scared the ever living crap out of me, and because I just didn't know, at the same time, though, you know, they're like, oh, test your blood sugar four times a day. Well, at that time, like my husband is a carpenter in the carpenters union here, and so our insurance is a little bit different. It's like, funded by the union, and no diabetes testing supplies were covered period. None. They

Scott Benner 19:35
were just like, that doesn't exist on our formulary. Good luck.

Courtney 19:39
Yeah. Yeah. Basically, so I was like, what so for me to be able to, like, test, and I didn't know that you could go get a Walmart brand meter or whatever, and so I'm, like, buying the Accu check, which is what I was given during pregnancy, and it was, like, $150 a month. And my husband and I were young, and still, like, I. Gearing out life at that time. So it was like a huge blow, just financially, to have to deal with that CGMS, like, I didn't even know they existed. I didn't know about Dexcom. I knew nothing. I continued to lose weight because I just started restricting myself so much that I turned into like, basically this skeleton of myself. You've

Scott Benner 20:25
got shaky information from doctors, even though one of them got it right, but, but it's still it's confusing enough. There's shaky information from doctors. You're on a medication you shouldn't be on. You're having trouble paying for the stuff that you need. You don't even really know why you're using it or what it is you're supposed to be doing. All that fear culminates into you slowing down, just not

Courtney 20:47
eating, not eating, and over exercising, trying

Scott Benner 20:51
to keep away. What did you think? Were you trying to keep away type two diabetes in your mind? Or did you not know what you were doing?

Courtney 20:58
I had no idea what was going on my my mind and heart told me you probably have what your family doctor said, because I looked it up and I'm like, this makes sense that it was probably never gestational to begin with, and that it was brought on by my pregnancy and the stress on my body from being pregnant.

Scott Benner 21:16
How long did it take you to believe yourself?

Courtney 21:19
I want to say after my second pregnancy.

Scott Benner 21:22
How long is that, since the end of the first my

Courtney 21:26
my son and my daughter are almost exactly three years apart, and my daughter was roughly 15 months old when I found out I was some sort of diabetic,

Scott Benner 21:38
so you maybe lived for almost maybe four years as a type one, with lot of not 100% sure, or treating it with insulin or anything like that. That

Courtney 21:47
part is not 100% true. So, I mean, I did end up on insulin, but okay, I was going to my Endo, and I wanted, I knew, I wanted to have another baby. So it was like maybe a a year into, you know, my diagnosis about a year and my I had my a 1c came down from 10.5 I was like 6.3 on no insulin. But I was so underweight. She was like, you have to gain weight or you're not going to be able to carry a baby like you're just not. So I had to then figure out how to eat lots of calories so that I could have another baby.

Scott Benner 22:27
And you said to her, I'm not eating, I'm over exercising. Like did she know that part, or did she just think you were losing weight? Because I don't know why she wouldn't think, if she didn't know what you were doing at home, I don't know why she wouldn't think, DKA, you know what I mean, she

Courtney 22:42
did know that I was losing weight, and I told her that I eat low carb. So maybe she thought that was

Scott Benner 22:49
why Instagram model, yeah, I gotcha. Courtney's like, I'm 38 I don't really look at Instagram that often, but I kind of get what you're

Courtney 22:57
saying. I'm 30 I look at Instagram, not Tiktok.

Scott Benner 23:02
She probably thought you were just like, doing keto or something like that, right?

Courtney 23:07
Yeah, essentially, I was, because that's what like, you know, I joined like Facebook groups, and because I didn't have any information, I didn't know where to turn or who to talk to the the diabetic educator I went to see was telling me to eat all these carbs that I wasn't comfortable with eating, because every time I did, I mean, obviously my blood sugar was going high, so like I was getting stressed out. And no one apparently thought I needed insulin at the time, because my a 1c

Scott Benner 23:35
was good. How long until they gave you insulin?

Courtney 23:39
So it was when I finally got pregnant with my son. I was about 15 weeks, and I ended up with a stomach virus that my daughter had passed to me, and I could not keep my blood sugar down, and I couldn't get under like 200 which now I'm like, Ah, like, that wouldn't be that concerning, knowing numbers that I've hit now without even trying, without even trying, yeah, like, I could just be stressed out, and all of a sudden I'm like, 200 you know, super stressed about that. She put me on levimere, a long acting to try. I was terrified. I had my Husband, husband, do the first couple of injections until I was like, All right, I could do this myself. Let's go away. And that worked out great. And then eventually, towards the end of my pregnancy, I added in meal time, and I'll tell you when that happened, that was the most terrifying experience of my entire life. I still have nightmares and stress, and this is why I still have a hard time taking, like, larger doses of insulin to cover a lot of carbs. What happened? Because my endo gave me the wrong information, and I I don't go to her anymore. I left, but I didn't know any better. What happened? Tell me the story. When she's decided to add in mealtime insulin, she said, take two to three units with every meal. And I'm like, okay, but you do know that I eat low in carbs, right? And she said, yeah, so take two units. And I was like, okay, so that night, I took two units with my dinner. Again, pregnant, no. CGM just finger pricking at least 12 times a day. The next thing I know, I am shaking like 45 minutes to an hour later, just shaking uncontrollably. I'm like, oh, oh, this is not good. And I check my blood sugar, and it's 38

Scott Benner 25:43
oh,

Courtney 25:47
panicking, Yeah,

Scott Benner 25:48
I bet you are. Was it like, I guess you don't know because you weren't wearing a CGM, right. Okay, all right,

Courtney 25:53
no, I would have, I wouldn't have had any idea. I had no clue My husband was giving my daughter a bath, and I was freaking out, like I drank juice, I there was like leftover birthday cake on the counter. I downed that, I ate a brownie, and then I just sat on the floor in the kitchen and cried for a straight hour, texting, testing, testing, testing, until I finally came back up. But I think about that moment, and I still have like nightmares about that, like,

Scott Benner 26:26
did you tell the doctor about the experience? Yeah, did you get a response?

Courtney 26:32
It was just like, oh, well, you probably should eat more carbs.

Scott Benner 26:38
Not Hey, I told you to take too much insulin there, huh? Sorry, no. Nice. Which? What kind of doctor is this? The Endo.

Courtney 26:47
That's my endocrinologist. Yes, was I was gonna say Not, not anymore, right? No, gotcha, I

Scott Benner 26:52
want to talk a little more about this. So sitting on the floor crying, did you have a feeling like I almost killed myself just now. Like, what, where was the fear? Like, I don't know how to explain what I want from you, but I want you to tell me what aspect of that story scared you.

Courtney 27:14
Well, the fact that I didn't I knew, I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't have the right person to help me, and I was afraid I was eventually going to die from taking too

Scott Benner 27:25
much. Yeah, okay, so it just felt like you were on a path that was probably going to end very badly, and there was no answers. I see. Okay, wow, that's an existential crisis. Did you talk to your husband about it, yes, did he say I'm a carpenter, I'm gonna go to work now, leave me alone. Or did was he helpful? I just I know a couple trade guys, so I'm not sure which one. I'm not sure what guy you married. I'm trying to figure it out.

Courtney 27:53
No, I am very, very lucky. My husband is super sweet, even to this day, like right before talking to you, he texted me while he's, you know, working, how's it going? How are your numbers? Because I guess he kind of wants to figure out what kind of day I'm having, so he knows what to expect.

Scott Benner 28:12
He's planning on whether or not to work overtime or not. I might grab a couple hours Courtney. I'm gonna hang out. Yeah, gotcha. Does your blood sugar affect your mood

Courtney 28:25
when it's like, a stubborn high, and I mean, like, high, like, 200 and then I'm, like, injecting, injecting, walking, yeah, then I'm mad. I'm not necessarily mad because, like, the blood sugar makes me feel that way, but I'm mad because what I'm doing is not working. So I got you My kids know, like, when mommy's on the treadmill, stay away.

Scott Benner 28:50
I don't see any of you working towards the CEO of IBM thing, by the way. Is it isolating? Because you work from home too. So at one point you said you were a teacher, and there were things to be concerned about, about blood sugars while you were teaching, but now you're at home. Is one better? I mean, were there any type ones or people with diabetes at work? Was that even something that was could be helpful to you?

Courtney 29:17
No, not when I was teaching. It really wasn't. The funny thing is, though, when I was diagnosed with gestational and, you know, I had my little mini meltdown because I didn't even know what that meant. I was teaching at an elementary school. I didn't realize that one of my friends who was a teacher had type one I didn't even know so

Scott Benner 29:42
there was somebody you could have spoken to, but nobody knew about it. It's interesting.

Courtney 29:47
Well, somebody mentioned it to me, like, oh, you should go talk to this person, because she has type one diabetes. And I bet you she could help you, like, learn about gestational and give you some tips. And I'm like, okay, so I go to her, and I'm like, Hey, I had no idea. And, yeah, she did help me, and I remember, like, crying to her about it. And now I'm like, Oh my gosh, she must have looked at me like, girl, you have no idea. Like, you're crying over gestational diabetes. You have no idea. She's like,

Scott Benner 30:20
yours is gonna go away, yes,

Courtney 30:23
and then we, we still talk now. And she's like, shocked at like, how that happened, what happened

Scott Benner 30:31
to you, the progression of what happened to you. Yes, you know Courtney, from listening to the podcast that your story is incredibly common for people who are diagnosed like this, right? Yes, yeah. Does that make you feel any better or worse?

Courtney 30:46
I wouldn't say better, and I wouldn't say worse, but I would say just not alone, because I felt so isolated before, like no one in my orbit really understood what I was going through. And you know, my own doctor who diagnosed me with LADA was like, Oh, it'll be fine. It'll be like, brushing your teeth, you know, you'll get the hang of it. And I'm like, now I look back then I'm like, You had no idea what you were saying. Because, no, no, it's not. Every day is different.

Scott Benner 31:17
So you're running into what you know happens to so many people. You just, you're finding doctors that just don't really know about this. Even though they're endocrinologists, they just probably see more type twos than type ones to begin with. Or they, you know, they don't know enough about it to give valuable information. And here we are, like, you know what I mean? Like, like, so many people are treated the way you are. And I don't mean treated like, treated poorly. I mean like, medically treated like, this is how they think. To tell you to do it. You'll figure it out. It'll be okay. Try three units. Three sounds like too much, dude, two. Two almost killed you. Oops. You know what I mean, like, like, like, there's nothing actionable in any of your interactions so far, like, no one has said one thing to you that you could go home and go, Oh, I'll follow these steps and I'll, I'll see what happens, and I'll have an outcome, and then I can make an adjustment. Like nothing has you're just like, left blowing in the wind is how it feels. Honestly,

Courtney 32:20
that's exactly how it felt. Okay, all right. Well, then, yeah, oh, sorry, no,

Scott Benner 32:25
no, the anxiety you talked about in your note. Did that exist for you before diabetes? I

Courtney 32:32
mean, here and there. I think, like, as a typical person, I mean, I feel like when you're a teacher, there's always an element of anxiety because you're a perfectionist, you want to do a great job, and you're constantly working and busy. And I didn't have any kids yet, so that was my baby, and it would that would stress me out sometimes, especially because I was a special education teacher, there's added elements to that that are a little stressful and anxiety inducing.

Scott Benner 32:59
My sister in law is an administrator for special ed, and so I hear a lot about this, and I know it can be difficult. My niece actually is a special education teacher now, and she's been bitten. That does sound stressful to make so not a crazy amount of anxiety like prior, just normal being around life. And is it ramped up now? Is it not going away 100%

Courtney 33:26
I mean, I do go to therapy to help deal with my anxiety surrounding it. I started that two years ago. It's been helpful. Good. Yeah, my anxiety is pretty bad. It got to a point where I was, like, I'm afraid of my own body, mainly because it's progressed, and I had a really hard time wrapping my head around it. Like, after my son was born, I didn't need insulin anymore. Oh, for how long? Well, I'm thinking because I wasn't I, it had to do with nursing him, but, like, for at least nine months,

Scott Benner 34:03
not even wait, not even basil.

Courtney 34:07
I think I was taking, like, once I started taking it again, like, three or four units a day. Wow,

Scott Benner 34:13
that's interesting. For nine months as a type one, like, yeah, yeah, that's

Courtney 34:19
crazy. And I was fine, like I was eating more carbs than I had in the previous years, like two years, because I was nursing him, and I was still going low, I would nurse, and then all of a sudden, bam, like dropping, like a tank, so I couldn't use insulin.

Scott Benner 34:36
How, if at all, was your doctor helpful with that transition?

Courtney 34:39
Well, at that point, I had a new endocrinologist,

Scott Benner 34:42
and this one's better. Fingers crossed. She

Courtney 34:45
She was better. Yes, she really was. She, she had the mindset of saying, Nope, you're a type one. You're just you're at a point now where like you're going to progress, but here, like you're you're still making some on your own, and we'll just. Kind of keep going with the flow, and as your needs progress, we'll just keep adding and at that point, she was at least able to write me a script for a freestyle Libra the original, like, I guess it was a 10 day one, and I just paid out of pocket. So I had that. And then she had the mindset of, listen, you know, this is your life, and you have to manage diabetes, so whatever you need. If insurance denies it, I'll write letters until they approve it. So I'll do it for you. So she was great.

Scott Benner 35:36
Let me ask you a question. I want you to finish first though, go ahead. What were you gonna say?

Courtney 35:42
Oh, no. And then I moved and then it took me, like, an hour and a half to get to her. So I don't, I don't live there anymore, but yeah, so I had to find another endocrinologist. Were

Scott Benner 35:54
you able to find a decent one near you?

Courtney 35:56
I did, and she was absolutely amazing. I found out,

Scott Benner 36:03
she solved the practice.

Speaker 1 36:04
She just left the practice. Yeah,

Scott Benner 36:07
she's like, see a sucker. I'm out of here. I cried. Oh my god. I feel like I know your story now. Like, and, and I want to kind of shift a little bit to talking about, I want to try to figure out how to get you out of this place that you're at right now where you seem a little frozen, and just by asking you, what do you think you need? Like, what would make all of this better for you? Doesn't even matter if it's reasonable, just tell me what it is you would need,

Courtney 36:34
I guess, just someone to take the fear away. Like, I don't know how to get past it, because it just seems like everything is is constantly changing on me. I think I need consistency. Maybe if I knew what to expect, I would feel better. But I feel like every day is just, it's nuts. I mean, the past couple of nights, I've had lows in the middle of the night, and last night I was, like, all night long, not high, but like, higher than I want to be, like 130 all night long. I like to be at like 100

Scott Benner 37:04
you said, OmniPod. OmniPod. Are you using dash? No,

Courtney 37:09
I'm not using a pump at all. Oh, I'm

Scott Benner 37:11
sorry. You're not using a pump at all. You do have a CGM, though I have the

Courtney 37:15
Dexcom seven. I use the in pen, which is what I'm really comfortable with. I do really like it. Okay, and I use levemere. Okay, so

Scott Benner 37:25
I can say, would your insurance cover a more modern basal insulin like traceba?

Courtney 37:31
I believe that is the one that would be covered. You. Maybe that might

Scott Benner 37:35
be a good place to start, because you're probably, I mean, I'd be doing a lot of guessing here, but levemere doesn't really last 24 hours the way they say. So if you're experiencing like higher blood sugars 18 ish hours after you shoot your lever mirror, that wouldn't surprise me. You could try. I've

Courtney 37:54
been splitting it up into two doses. For that reason, you are

Scott Benner 37:57
splitting it okay, I don't know. I would try the more modern basal. I think that's a good step. Are you against having a pump?

Courtney 38:05
I just don't think I'm ready for it yet. I'm scared. I'm scared of, you know, the things that could happen with the pump, the malfunctioning like my brain cannot handle seeing a 300 blood sugar like ever so if, like, it fell off, or, like, you know, if it was malfunctioning and I wasn't getting any insulin, the thought of that scares me to death, but like, the fact that I know if I'm injecting on long acting and I got it, I feel safer.

Scott Benner 38:38
I hear this from people constantly, but normally from new or diagnosed people. How long because of this whole, the whole thing you just explained to me for the beginning of this episode, how long do you forget that? Forget the calendar. I know how long you've had diabetes. How long do you feel like you've had it? Does that make sense? Yeah,

Courtney 38:57
a long time. It feels like I don't really remember eating normal, like, regular, you know, like a big piece of pizza or whatever,

Scott Benner 39:08
because the argument, it's not an argument, but the perspective of, at least, if I shoot the basal insulin, I know it's in there, or if the machine, you know, revolts and takes over, and I'm fighting with Skynet or something like that. When people are like, I don't know what the pump is going to do, like that usually is an argument from more newly diagnosed people, not usually from people who've had it as long as you've had so you're still scared of like, I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but, you know, I don't think there are a ton of examples throughout the world of insulin pumps like going crazy and killing people, you know what I mean, or suddenly not not working, and your blood sugar's shooting up. And by the way, you're wearing a CGM, if your blood sugar started shooting up and you bolus and nothing happened, you could just change your pump like it's not and you work from home. So this is a great time to get accustomed to it. So you. You're doing that thing where I would normally say fear is a waste of imagination, like you're just you're deciding to believe what could go wrong, and that's the reality you're working from. That's what does that feel accurate to you? Yeah, yeah. And you want to stop that? Or, No,

Courtney 40:19
I do. I do want to stop that? I feel like I would like a little more freedom, but I also know mentally where I can and can handle things. And I'm, I guess I'm, yeah, it's just a fear. I'm scared that I will do something wrong and end up, like at 300 and then have, like, a panic attack at the same time, which will send my blood sugar higher. And

Scott Benner 40:43
do you have no you have panic attacks, like legitimate panic attacks. Um,

Courtney 40:48
I haven't in a while, but when I'm going low and I don't understand why, yeah, that that might set one off.

Scott Benner 40:56
So does the low bother you, or does the unknown about why it happened bother you, both, both, which is more strong for you?

Courtney 41:07
Probably believe the unknown. I like to be prepared.

Scott Benner 41:10
Yeah, this, this goes right back to your first example, with the with the injection and the sitting on the kitchen floor being upset, like, like, I think what, what you hated about that most was the unknown part of it. Is that accurate? Yeah, yeah. Like, so you're comfortable stopping a low blood sugar. You know how to do that. You're not scared of that. No, okay, yeah, you don't. Like, well, that's interesting. Um, is this a thing you're working on with your therapist specifically?

Unknown Speaker 41:43
Oh, yes, okay. Are

Scott Benner 41:44
we getting anywhere? Is the therapist any good?

Courtney 41:48
She's great. I love her. And yes, I mean, I'm slowly moving towards considering a pump more and more. Listen, I

Scott Benner 41:56
don't think anyone needs a pump, but if you're telling me you're getting low overnight. And I'm thinking these algorithms are pretty great right now, like you don't even look at stopping stuff like that. How low were you overnight?

Courtney 42:09
Two nights in a row, I hit 59 and it took a while to come up. And I think, though my it was my activity level, I had had like, 17,000 steps so one day and then the next day, it was like 13,000 steps. And I had done a workout, I was just moving a lot, and I think that had to do with it also. I think, you know, the change of season, my doctor said to me before, like, oh, When summer comes, you know, you're probably going to need to start lowering some of your long acting and maybe that's now, because all winter, I felt like I struggled really hard. I was either taking too little or taking too much, and it was getting really frustrating in the winter.

Scott Benner 42:56
Does your activity change from summer to winter?

Courtney 42:58
I mean, I mean I'm outside more now, like playing with my kids, but in the winter, I had a really good regimen of getting up and working out, and then working out would send my blood sugar up in the morning, along with the dawn phenomena, and then I would walk on the treadmill to lower it, and then I would work. And then on my breaks, I would take walks on the treadmill, and it wasn't like I was inactive.

Scott Benner 43:25
So your workouts in the morning are like, are weight, weight based you're lifting and that kind of stuff, okay? And that, did you ever try bolusing for it?

Courtney 43:35
I did. I was really working on that for a while, like taking a half a unit to a unit depending on what I was, just to see what would happen. But then I went to a different diabetic educator, and she said, Well, I would rather you walk on a treadmill to lower it after your workout than take insulin for the workout, because what if you have, like, a rebound low from the workout, which actually did happen to me yesterday.

Scott Benner 44:02
That happened to you, but did you take insulin for it?

Courtney 44:04
I did. I was sitting at like 150 right after lunch, maybe like an hour a half after lunch, and I thought, all right, well, I'll take a half a unit. And I knew I was going to do this weight training workout, and it was strictly weights. There was no cardio, and maybe two hours later, I was sitting in the 50s, and we were out, and I, you know, luckily, had stuff with me, but you're sitting in traffic, and I'm just feeling like, trash, yeah? Awesome. And I'm like, What the heck? Like any other time, you know, my blood sugar goes up, yeah, the

Scott Benner 44:40
anaerobic stuff puts your blood sugar up most times. Is there? I hate to ask you this, as we don't know each other, but this example of you being out and getting low after an anaerobic workout. Are you by any chance within five or six days of your period starting,

Unknown Speaker 44:58
no, ending? Yeah. No. Interesting. That

Scott Benner 45:02
sucks. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I mean, listen, a diabetes educator telling you not to use insulin for anaerobic workouts, I think is a little short sighted. I mean, I think that's kind of the way you have to manage that stuff. I think you need some consistency, something that to count on. Does that make sense? Like, at least, have you ever listened to the Pro Tip series that I did?

Courtney 45:26
Yes, I have. So does that multiple times over the years? Does that

Scott Benner 45:30
one idea of like, at least when I do something, I know that what happens next is from me? Does that resonate with you? Yes, yeah, because that's what I feel like. You don't have enough of, you don't have enough of, hey, I might be low, but at least I know why. And you know what I mean, like that, I think that would help you a little bit, like the the knowledge that I did this and then this happened. So the next time I do it, my expectation is that's going to happen. If it doesn't okay, but it's gonna happen enough that it'll feel reasonably consistent to me. Hey, if you've heard

Courtney 46:06
your thyroid checked, yes, what's your TSH, then fine. Do

Scott Benner 46:10
you know what the number was for the TSH,

Courtney 46:13
oh my gosh. The last time I had it done, it was a while ago, because my endo left. So I was supposed to go in March, but she was gone

Scott Benner 46:21
because they'll tell you it's in range, even if it's a little high and needs medication sometimes,

Courtney 46:25
no, I'm pretty sure it was like completely normal, because I my my therapist, actually, I talked to her about it, and she's also very knowledgeable in that stuff, yeah, and she made me look at it again and tell her, because

Scott Benner 46:40
of the anxiety piece. What it was like these anxiety is, like, a hypothyroidism, like, definitely could, could come from that. Also being, um, having, like, uneven mood swings, weight gain, hair loss, dry skin. There's a lot of stuff that could come from that. So you don't have any, you don't have any of that. How about Yeah, you're just anxious. You're like, no, no, I just have anxiety. Thank you, yep, but anxiety that you might have had your whole life and was made worse by diabetes. Is that correct? Yes. Okay, anybody else in your family anxious? Mom, dad?

Courtney 47:17
Uh, yeah, my mom's a worrier, for sure, she my grandmother was the same way she was. She was definitely a warrior. And sometimes, you know, I can see myself sitting in it like that, just like just holding on to it for some odd reason, even though, you know, my husband's not like that, and I think that's why we work. He is a go with the flow, relaxed. Don't worry about it until it happens. Kind of guy, and

Scott Benner 47:46
that doesn't help you, right? Like his relaxed, it does it. It brings you down a little bit. That's nice,

Courtney 47:52
because if I see him worried, then I know, oh, I probably really should be worried.

Scott Benner 48:00
He looks upset, we're gonna die.

Courtney 48:04
And usually he's like, it's fine, and it's you, and it's usually fine, like, I mean, and we've been together for 22 years, so I know what to expect from him. He's He's my rock, and I don't know what I would do without him.

Scott Benner 48:18
Well, I'm glad it helps. Background, English, Irish, something like that. German, German, okay. How do your parents handle the anxiety? Do they drink, um,

Courtney 48:28
occasionally, but not excessively, not for

Scott Benner 48:32
medication purposes? No, no. Okay, so it's not like, it's not harsh. Then throughout your family either, just a little more like yours, yeah, yeah. Have you tried medication? I don't. I mean, it's not my favorite answer, but have you ever tried something

Courtney 48:50
I did and I really didn't like how it made me feel? Yeah, and my husband said he thought I actually seemed more angry while on it, and I was on it for maybe three months, and I kind of agreed with

Scott Benner 49:04
him, I'm laughing because he said, more angry, not angry. He was like, Oh, the anger is turned up. Would they give you Wellbutrin?

Courtney 49:13
No, it was Zoloft, Zoloft. Okay, interesting.

Scott Benner 49:20
Would you try another one? Or was it? It's an excursion, right? It takes like, six months to try it and see if you like it. Then you got to get off it. If you don't like it, it's a lot, right?

Courtney 49:30
Yeah, I feel like I do a good job of controlling, like, my everyday anxiety. They basically told me, like, if you're just sitting anxious all day over nothing, you know that's that's a problem, and I don't have that. The anxiety occurs when it comes to, like, when I'm low in the middle of the night and it's not coming back up, or like yesterday, that was stressful because, again, didn't know why it wasn't coming back up as fast as I wanted. It too. I mean, it was, it was going on for a while. The other thing, like this, other issue I was having was hours after eating. And I had listened to your podcast episodes about, like, fat and protein and all that, because that's a lot of what I eat, and a lot of vegetables. But for some reason, like, hours after eating, I'm like, spiking, and I couldn't figure out what the heck is happening. Like, I'll eat dinner at 435 o'clock. As soon as seven o'clock hits, I'm just spiking, and I'll keep spiking, no matter how many times I correct until like, 10 o'clock. And I could be at like, anywhere between 202 30, and then I'm just like mad, like, what? Like, why are my corrections not working at all? I am using my ratio. I've even tried, like, splitting it, like knowing Okay, high fat protein, or trying to calculate for protein and taking that, like, at the meal or right after eating, I just felt like, and then I even tried just not eating and seeing what happens. Like just not eating from like two o'clock on, and I would still at seven o'clock just be like, Oh, here we go. Here's this rise. And I'm like, but if I increase my leavenmere or change the time, for some reason it that wasn't working either. Like, I just couldn't figure it out.

Scott Benner 51:22
You're describing a scenario where I believe you would enjoy an algorithm based insulin pump. Yeah, yeah. Because then that rise starts to happen, the pump starts pushing back. It never gets that high, and you don't get low afterwards, because it cuts basal then to make up for the difference, like that. I mean, I don't want I had this feeling while you were talking earlier, that if we could start you on a pump and then put you asleep for the first six months while you learned it, and you just woke up and it was working really well. Like that would be perfect for you. Like you. I don't know that telling you to do it would be valuable for you, because I'm not sure the impact that the first part is going to have on you, the adjustment and the learning part, and not fun, yeah, but, and, but at the same time, you're paying a lot of attention to your diabetes, like, you know, a lot like, so I don't think you'd be lost, but there would be a learning curve. And then I think once the learning curve is over, I think you love it. I just don't want the learning curve to send you. I was gonna say off the deep end, but that's not a fair assessment of you. But like, you know what I mean? Like, push you further in the wrong direction, I guess is what I'm saying.

Unknown Speaker 52:35
Well, that makes sense. Is

Scott Benner 52:36
that your concern

Courtney 52:38
I'm like, a person who doesn't like change, and I think I just want things to stay the same and easy, like anybody does.

Scott Benner 52:46
Is this easy or is it just something you're accustomed to?

Courtney 52:51
It's not easy, but I feel like I'm still somewhere in between. Like I feel like there are some days I barely have to take insulin still, yeah, and then there are other days where I'm taking 10 more units than I was, like, two weeks before that. So I don't know, it's just those weeks are easy. Those weeks I'm like, I'm fine, I got this. And then, you know, comes the resistance from hormones. And I'm like, you know, miserable, and I know that a pump would probably really help that.

Scott Benner 53:23
Do you care if the pump has tubing or not tubing? Have you thought about that?

Courtney 53:27
I would prefer no tubing, no

Scott Benner 53:30
tubing. Would you build your own algorithm, like a DIY algorithm?

Courtney 53:35
I'd probably be a little afraid to do that, not knowing what I'm doing.

Scott Benner 53:39
I think OmniPod five might, I mean, if you jump around significantly with your needs, OmniPod five might still require you to do some bolusing, more than you're imagining. And I don't know if maybe the control IQ would be better for you, but then you're going to get tubing. So I mean, there's going to be gives and takes through the entire process there, I would think, I mean, honestly, I think best case scenario for you is probably, you know, a loop with with an OmniPod, but there's, you know, there's some stuff to do in there. Obviously, have to build the algorithm yourself. And I don't know if that's the thing you want to be involved in, but still, for mitigating lows, for addressing rises as they're happening, and not after they've happened. Any any of these algorithms is going to be good for you? Not islet, I don't think you wouldn't do well with that, but the rest of them, even the Medtronic, the 780 G, I think they'd all work for you, but you have the Dexcom g7 so at the moment, the only thing you could do with g7 is tandem or loop. I don't know when OmniPod five is going to be with work with g7 It's May 30 right now. So I mean, I expect it soon, but I don't honestly know. Has. Any of this been helpful for you at all this conversation, like, why did you want to come on the podcast?

Courtney 55:06
I don't know. I just wanted to tell my story with diabetes, because I I don't put a lot out there, and maybe I should try to, you know, make people more aware. Because actually, not long after my diagnosis, so probably my son was born. He's going to be seven now, so maybe he was like two or three. One of my husband's childhood good friends I saw ended up being diagnosed as a type two diabetic. And I thought, No way, no way, you are not a type two diabetic. And I messaged him, and I said, you have type two diabetes. And he was like, Yeah, I was just diagnosed. I'm like, who's your doctor? And he had the same endocrinologist that I first had, and he was a tall, skinny guy. And I said, you need to get tested for type one. Please. Please, go get tested. And he did, and it turns out he has type one. How about

Scott Benner 56:12
that? Look at you, saving lives over there. It stopped somebody from having your whole, your whole situation that nice. Yeah,

Courtney 56:19
look at you. And it's weird that it was someone that, like I knew for years, that's

Scott Benner 56:25
lucky, lucky for him. Did it make you feel better? Did it make you feel a little bit like your experience was more valuable now, because it helps somebody else?

Courtney 56:34
Yeah, it did. It really did.

Scott Benner 56:37
Before I let you go, I'm gonna ask you this one kind of question. It's just, I think, the question that pops into people's heads all the time when you're talking about anxiety, and this so you have this anxiety, it's stopping you from doing something. When you talk about doing it, you sound like you want to do it, but then you fall back into, it's like this analysis that you go back into, and then you seem like you're stuck in the analysis of it, like waiting for this perfect answer to move forward in does it feel like that, or is it just how I'm hearing it?

Courtney 57:09
No, that's exactly how it feels. Okay, don't

Scott Benner 57:13
do that. Isn't an answer that helps you, right?

Courtney 57:18
That's why I'm going to therapy to work through these things. It really does. It really does help to do that. And I am working through it. I'm getting better at it

Scott Benner 57:28
sounds like it, honestly, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to paint a picture for anybody who doesn't have anxiety, who's listening to you, what they just heard was, hey, this lady knows what to do, and she's not doing it. And if I was her, I'd just do it. Probably they feel like that because they don't have anxiety, but like, it's just worth saying out loud, because it does sound like to a person who wouldn't understand anxiety. You don't actually have a problem. You're just making the wrong decision, but you're making that decision pushed by the anxiety. It's not your conscious mind telling you what to do, it's the it's the anxiety telling you what to do. Is that right?

Courtney 58:00
Yes, and I don't want to blame it solely on my first experience with insulin, but I really do think that has a big part of it, that terrifying feeling that I felt, where I really felt like my life was in danger, coupled with the fact that, like, I have to do this for the rest of my life, yeah, just sucks. And that's where, that's where it comes from. And then the fact that, like, you know, change is scary, and I feel like I keep having to go through change and to change things up, and, like, going on a pump, is a really big change in my mind, even though, time and time again. People tell me, you know, it's fine, it's great, right? But I do think that I do follow a lot of like, you know, other diabetic people on Instagram who are, I guess you would call them influencer influencers. And there are a few of them who refused to go on a pump and then decided to do it. And watching them go through that, change has kind of helped me a little bit. So I feel like the more that I see that, and the more that people put that stuff out there, and I can go on that journey with them, I will feel more comfortable Good. I'm

Scott Benner 59:13
glad it's helping you. Yeah, also, some of those influencers are just doing the things they know you're feeling so that you'll follow them. So they do the whole like, I don't want to pump. I'm not doing that. Then they do that for about six months, till they see their engagement drop, and they go, You know what? I think I might try a pump. It's like, oh, is, is this season two of your little mini series? Okay? But I'm glad it helps you. Like, that's fantastic. I, I also completely understand, like, the situation you're in, like, I'm not saying just, I'm not saying, why don't you just do it? I was being, you know, facetious for the conversation. But the one thing I will say, from just a practical point of view, and you don't need to be told this, you're a full grown lady, like you're 38 years old. The change part, I. I'm not 20 years ahead of you, but I'm pretty far ahead of you. It's never going to stop. Like, it's a fallacy to think you're going to get to stasis, like, oh, as soon as the kids get through this part, or once they get to middle school, or after they're out of high school, or as soon as college is done, or as soon as I get another pay raise, or we move out of this house, or I get this room painted, like, all that's all bullshit. Like, that's never going to happen. You're never going to get to the end. The end is literally when you die. Like, there's no end in the middle. It just, it's constant change. It's slower, so you don't see it sometimes. But we all sit around and do that thing, like, I'll do this as soon as this happens, but that's never going to be the case. And I know that's upsetting to hear, but I, from my perspective, absolutely true. You are going to analyze this forever if you're waiting for something to become unchanged, to make a decision. Does that make sense?

Courtney 1:01:03
It does everything you're saying makes sense. And I I agree with you 100% I mean, I think about that every day. I mean, my kids are growing up before my eyes. My daughter's almost 10, and when I was diagnosed, she was a toddler. So yeah, I mean, I'm fully aware of that, but I also am seeing all these changes in diabetes technology, from when I was first diagnosed to what I have now and what I see now, and maybe part of me is waiting for something that I'll feel more comfortable with

Scott Benner 1:01:38
you. You know, I'm just saying, if you, if you wait for the cars to fly, you're going to miss out on the one that drives itself. That's true. Yeah, that that's all like, these algorithms aren't bad. They're they're not bad at all. The ones that exist now are. They're all really rock solid. They're going to get better, probably. But, you know, here's what I would ask you to talk about with your therapist. I don't know how you're going to feel if you try it, but you don't like the way you feel now. So what's it going to matter if you don't like the way you feel while you're trying it, if you're not going to like how you feel, then at least try the thing. You could always go back to your in pen. Does that makes does that seem reasonable to you, or does that not seem reasonable?

Courtney 1:02:25
No, it definitely does seem reasonable. I mean, I wouldn't say it's bad all the time, but when I discuss these things with my endo too, not just my therapist, they look at my a, 1c and they're like, you're fine. Don't make any changes, because my UNC is, it's always been pretty well. I have been below 6.2 and between like 5.6 for the past well, even after having my son at least the past five years.

Scott Benner 1:02:53
See, I would look at that and say, Courtney, look how well you're doing with a with an insulin pen, you know enough to use a pump. Like, you'll probably excel at this. Like, I don't even predict that. Like, yeah. Like, listen, may I make a suggestion to you, whatever you think, write it down, then wonder what 180 degrees different of it is. Then do that. I think that would help you, because, because you just, you just said something that made me think the exact opposite thing, that it made you and the doctor think the doctor's like, well, you have a great a, 1c, why would you change? And I'm like, if you can do it with that, imagine what you could do with better tools. Not that. Impend is not terrific, by the way, fantastic. It's a great device. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that people need to use pumps. They don't have to. I'm saying you are describing a world where you don't want as many lows overnight, and an algorithm has the opportunity to maybe try to mitigate those for you. So since you're so good at this, slap the damn thing on and try it's just an it's just an insulin delivery system, right? And then, you know, it'll take you a couple of months to learn how the algorithm works and how to bullish for stuff. And then you can make a decision if you don't like it, then throw it out and go get your pen back. Should I chant do it at the end. Do it? Do it. I just don't want to make I just want you to be upset. You know what I mean? Do you know what I'm calling your episode? Uh oh. What, diabetes is back. It's the it's from, like, the first 15 minutes you you said that to your husband during, like, you're like, you were like, diabetes is back. I just, I don't know why, like, it was the way you said it. I was like, I'm gonna call the episode that. That's fantastic. It made it feel like you had a a lake house, and I don't know you were feeding a freshwater dolphin, and it was gone for six years, and then one day it came back, and you ran inside joke, oh, my god, the dolphins back. I don't know that's what it made me think of. Well,

Courtney 1:04:52
a dolphin would be fun, terrified,

Scott Benner 1:04:56
way better than diabetes. I think you're gonna do it. We. Tell me how it goes. I will like, you'll message me online. You'll be like, I tried to pump I lost my mind and I killed our dog, so it's your fault, like, or something like that. In a German murder, in a murderous German rage, I went through my house and threw my shits out

Courtney 1:05:18
the window. Can't I don't have to sit there.

Scott Benner 1:05:20
My husband wasn't there because he called earlier the day to see how I was and heard it my voice, so he did a little overtime. You're fantastic. I really like you. Courtney. I appreciate you coming on and doing this. Thank you so

Courtney 1:05:32
much. Thank you so much for having me. It's been awesome listening to your show for so many years and getting so many tips. You are amazing, and I appreciate you. That's

Scott Benner 1:05:44
very kind of you. Thank you.

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