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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 1161 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Leanne. She's the science teacher, the mother of two, one of her children has type one diabetes, and Leanne has bipolar disorder. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please go to T one D exchange.org/juicebox. and complete the survey. You'll be helping with type one diabetes research and only take you 10 minutes and you'll feel good about yourself when you're done T one D exchange.org/juice box don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com When you place your first order for ag one with my link you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink ag one.com/juice box

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next one.com/juicebox This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one touched by type one.org and find them on Facebook and Instagram touched by type one is an organization dedicated to helping people living with type one diabetes. And they have so many different programs that are doing just that check them out at touched by type one.org. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing people together to redefine what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Jalen, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 14. He's 29. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. And then later at the end of this episode, you can hear my entire conversation with Jalen to hear more stories with Medtronic champions. Go to Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box or search the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform.

Leigh Anne 2:40
Hi, I am Lea Anne, I'm a mom of two amazing girls. Only one of them has type one. And she was the first diagnosed in our family on either side. And we live on a little farm in North Carolina. I am a veteran science teacher that has just walked out of the classroom, this school year, animal lover all the things you're not teaching anymore, not in the public school sector, which was a huge decision for my family. And so I run a my own kids are homeschooled and have been for a while. But I do I just started yesterday actually running a science co op for homeschool kids out of my farm. And so it's super fun. I'm excited about it. But my heart is in minorities and kids that need me in public education. And so it was a hard decision to walk away but it was definitely the right decision for the time.

Scott Benner 3:31
How long had you been teaching for 12 years? Okay, how old are you?

Leigh Anne 3:35
I'm 40

Scott Benner 3:37
reservations. Thanks. Oh, seriously, you know, the alternative is to be dead. So. So you're 40 taught for 12 years. You got two girls, one of them has type one. How old is the one with type one.

Leigh Anne 3:50
And her name is Katherine and she is nine.

Scott Benner 3:54
Catherine is nine. How old was she when she was diagnosed? Five, four years ago. Okay. And for you and everybody else I'm sick. Excuse me. I'm a little sick. Might be sneezing and stuff like that as we go along. Okay, so you said there's no other type one on either side of her family. Any other autoimmune? Yes.

Leigh Anne 4:17
So I believe her dad we are divorced and have been since she was born has a like a minor autoimmune situation. I also have ulcerative colitis, which is autoimmune and that's my mom has an autoimmune disease dealing with her liver. Your mom does my mom. Okay.

Scott Benner 4:36
Do you have anything else going on? Yes.

Leigh Anne 4:38
So I have been diagnosed bipolar for 20 ish years. Okay. The other and that's really like the two the two big things for me health wise. Do

Scott Benner 4:49
they consider bipolar to be auto immune adjacent?

Leigh Anne 4:54
So I honestly can't answer that super correctly we'll say because bipolar As an ongoing, there's a lot of research that says it's genetically linked. But then there's research that says it's trauma induced from at an early age and things like that. My degrees actually, in psychology, teaching biology was a total segway. And before that I rode horses professionally. So it's kind of a weird thing, but and there's different types of bipolar and there's constantly new research coming out. So I do not know if it's autoimmune adjacent or not. That's a great question that I would should probably learn about

Scott Benner 5:27
annals of palliative medicine, which is ame groups that org. At the end of the last century, genome wide association studies revealed a significant genetic association between bipolar disorder and autoimmune diseases.

Leigh Anne 5:40
Wow. I should have known that. Don't

Scott Benner 5:43
worry, I'll tell you Fun fact, I got the Google. So why are you on today?

Leigh Anne 5:50
I love so actually, I was on the Facebook group long before I listened to the podcast. I always thought I didn't have time to listen to podcasts. Like when was I going to do that? So I started doing it on my way to and from work, I have listened to like very specific episodes that I think are interesting. I love the information. And now I'm getting off topic. But when we were die, or when Catherine was diagnosed, we did not get so much information like so many families do. And so I love this place. And I send a lot of families because I'm connected to a lot of type one families to this podcast. And I was listening to it, it was a couple of different episodes and thinking about I think it was DK on a plane, it was just like, I could cry thinking about it. Yeah, sure, um, in the mom had to a newborn and a child and had to choose and those things and got me thinking about my own struggle in in the best scenario, and the best marriage and the best home and the best health of a parent taking care of a child with type one who's young, it's hard. And then when you put layers of something like bipolar, which is something that you deal with every day, every moment and a conscious effort on my part, and a layer on top of that, there is a lot of navigating and balancing and planning to make sure that I am in a place to maintain my child's blood sugar, and make sure that I'm keeping her alive and safe. And I was like, there's other people out there who are dealing with mental health and trying to take care of their type one kid, and I would love to be able to support them shine a ray of light on that. They're not alone. And it is it's just hard. It's a hard thing to do all the way around to me.

Scott Benner 7:22
So let's give a little context of what it's like to have bipolar and then we'll like layered over top of what it's like to have to take care of somebody's health while that's going on. So sure, well, is it cyclical? Does it run for days, weeks, months? How does that happen?

Leigh Anne 7:37
I definitely for me is cyclical, but it's not a perfect cycle. Definitely there can be triggering events. Something as simple as thinking there's there's more laundry than I thought there was to do could be the last straw and sent me into a not good place. Or it could be something as a death or not sleeping for three days or something like that. That's a serious thing that can change it right. But it is cyclical for me. But it's not like I can't look on the calendar and tell you on this day. I'm going to feel this way. But it definitely goes from Pretty good. Pretty fantastic. Okay, really bad. Okay, pretty fantastic. And that order, it's just not always a guaranteed time

Scott Benner 8:17
that rolls through. So what is pretty good feel like?

Leigh Anne 8:20
I'm pretty good as today. Nothing super hard. Really? I would it's my baseline. And what I learned a long time ago is that my baseline for most things is not even near anyone elses. It's a normal day. If I if I get four or five hours of sleep, that's great. I think I did last night everything is where I'm okay with today if that makes sense. I'm not stressed out about the next hour my kids are okay right now, just for me like a normal day I can get enough done. For me though a normal day and I have realized this over the years I do more I think by like eight or nine o'clock in the day in the morning then most people do in a day. And that is not like I don't need it. That's not like Go me that's not something to be proud of. I am just a very efficient busy person. And if I have a free moment I fill it up.

Scott Benner 9:08
Okay. So is that a good thing is that like mania is it like the the up and down part of it?

Leigh Anne 9:14
I struggle with what is normal me and what is bipolar me because it's the same. And so if I wasn't bipolar, I don't know what that would look like. And so, a normal day for me doesn't feel manic for me, a manic day. To me, it feels manic where on a normal daily basis, I get extremely frustrated with everyone around me and I'm super nice about it. Because everyone in this planet moves an extreme slow motion for me. I'm always told to slow down talking when in my head I'm consciously slowing down every word all day long for the world. And that's normal and manic. I would say it's like a minimum of 50 different topics in my brain all going very quickly and I'm pretty aware of all of them while maintaining everything that's around eat the dog over here, the blood sugar on my phone, I hear something on the TV telling the kid to do this making sure this is going on. And mania is where I feel almost out of control of all of those things. It's too much on if that makes sense. But there are parts of mania that feel really quote unquote good, where I'm like, nothing's a problem. Like on another day, I might think that like, the world is ending over something. And on a manic day, I might like I'm saving the world. So I don't know if I answered your question.

Scott Benner 10:26
Is that part of it, like having a lot of big thoughts?

Leigh Anne 10:30
Like so? Sorry.

Scott Benner 10:34
This episode is sponsored by Medtronic. diabetes, Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box. And now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion. Jalen. I was

Speaker 1 10:43
going straight into high school. So it was a summer heading into high school was that particularly difficult, unimaginable, you know, I missed my entire summer. So I went to I was going through a brand new school, I was around a bunch of new people that I had not been going to school with. So it was hard trying to balance that while also explaining to people what type one diabetes was, my hometown did not have an endocrinologist. So I was traveling over an hour to the nearest endocrinologist for children. So you know, I outside of that I didn't have any type of support in my hometown.

Scott Benner 11:17
Did you try to explain to people or did you find it easier just to stay private?

Speaker 1 11:21
I honestly I just held back I didn't really like talking about it. It was just, it felt like it was just an repeating record where I was saying things and people weren't understanding it. And I also was still in the process of learning it. So I just kept it to myself didn't really talk about it.

Scott Benner 11:36
Did you eventually find people in real life that you could confide in,

Speaker 1 11:41
I never really got the experience until after getting to college. And then once I graduated college, it's all I see, you know, you can easily search Medtronic champions, you see people that pop up, and you're like, wow, look at all this content. And I think that's something that motivates me started embracing more, you know, how I'm able to type one diabetes. To

Scott Benner 12:01
hear Jay Lynn's entire conversation stay till the very end. Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box to hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community. Contour next one.com/juice box, that's the link you'll use. To find out more about the contour next gen blood glucose meter, when you get there, there's a little bit at the top, you can click right on blood glucose monitoring, I'll do it with you go to meters, click on any of the meters, I'll click on the Next Gen. And you're going to get more information. It's easy to use and highly accurate. smartlight provides a simple understanding of your blood glucose levels. And of course, with Second Chance sampling technology, you can save money with fewer wasted test strips, as if all that wasn't enough to contour. Next Gen also has a compatible app for an easy way to share and see your blood glucose results. Contour next one.com/juicebox. And if you scroll down at that link, you're gonna see things like a Buy Now button, you could register your meter after you purchase it, or what is this download a coupon? Oh, receive a free Contour. Next One blood glucose meter, do tell contour next.com/juicebox head over there now get the same accurate and reliable meter that we use. So

Leigh Anne 13:21
I got my degree in psychology, because at the time I was riding horses professionally. And the deal was my family would support me doing that if I got my finished my degree and I found behavior fascinating. And I want it to be able to be the gold star of bipolar. Like not every bipolar person has some horrible story and is hospitalized and does all these things when you look up symptoms of bipolar ideas of grandiosity is one of them. And I do see that but I also wonder because it's my brain thinking it I do think I can do great things. I don't think if I jump off the house, I'm going to fly. That's not I recognize that right? I've also sorry, go ahead.

Scott Benner 13:59
No, I was just going to ask have you done great things? Yes, I have. There you go.

Leigh Anne 14:04
Every day we're all doing great things but good human. With that being said something that I think is great today. And I think that's for any human but could be extremely I could think it I did a terrible job at it when I'm in a bad place. The other thing that getting a degree and spending I spent an astronomical amount of time and work and managing my bipolar because it was hurting people around me and that's not something I wanted to do so that really pushed me in college to learn everything I could just like type one I did with my daughter So in saying that now where I am in my life I can recognize a rational thought and I can be in a place that feels horrific in still recognize it's irrational. I can't it doesn't mean it's gonna get me out of it. But I can still recognize that it's passing and fleeting or I think a lot of people struggling with depression, bipolar mental health, have trouble recognizing that it's a temporary state So that is something that I think has been like a huge win for me in the past 20 years of being able to recognize this is going to pass, like this deep hole is passing,

Scott Benner 15:08
has any of this led to drinking or drugs or anything like that? Sure,

Leigh Anne 15:12
um, no drugs, which I grew up in a house with fantastic parents, there was divorced and remarried. But my parents on an together probably not great, but on an individual level, just champions for their kids and very supportive and my dad grew up in severe poverty growing up and is incredibly self made, but had some experiences with people in his family with alcohol. So it was like, pounded in my head, like drugs and alcohol are bad. And it wasn't till later, like, I guess, later in life, and I was like the kid that I would like to DD for friends in high school. When I'm the one with tattoos and pink hair. And I'm wild, we wouldn't have expected that. I definitely eventually did drink some in high school and college and things like that. But and yes, to answer your question, yes. When I would feel like there was medicine was working, there's nothing to do. I feel like I was never like, I don't think alcohol is ever a problem. And I will say that. And that's me saying that, that's not Cemil saying it. I had a horse Roman an opportunity to ride horses professionally at 20. And that was life saving and grounding for me. So even if I was going to drink a huge amount of alcohol and not sleep all night, I would show up for my horse the next morning, and having that responsibility was really powerful.

Scott Benner 16:20
How I'm How do you ride a horse professionally?

Leigh Anne 16:23
I know it's crazy, right? It's actually a trillion dollar industry in our country. So it's different than other sports, because you're not working with a team. So if you in short, and it's kind of a crappy way to qualify, if you're paid money to ride horses, or paid money for instruction on riding horses, technically, you get your professional status. Now, that is a massive spectrum. I mean, somebody tomorrow could say they're gonna go and teach riding and be a quote unquote, professional. But it limits you at horse shows, like obviously professionals, amateurs don't show against each other typically. So how do you do that? So people who have lots of money like to buy really pretty horses, but typically are not typically may not know how to ride them, or train them or care for them. So they pay a lot of money to watch their pretty animal perform well, and so we are Hunter jumpers, we jump over stuff. Basically, it's super, super technical, more technical than I can imagine. But if you kind of think about it on mainstream people understand Kentucky Derby, so like, these people that own the racehorses, don't ride them, they watch them and go, Yeah, so it's kind of like that. But there's also a huge industry. I mean, every little girl wants to pony. And half of those little girls want to do it forever. And so basically, I guess, to answer your question, how do you write professionally you get paid to do it in be really good at it? Usually, hopefully, in the best of cases, there are definitely people in industry who maybe any in any industry that aren't stellar, but that's the answer. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 17:45
no. So yeah, rich people pay you to ride their horse for them. Used to Yeah, but that's the vibe. Right? Okay. I got Yeah, yeah. Okay, can you tell me a little bit about your daughter's diagnosis? Yes.

Leigh Anne 17:58
So she was five, um, we, her dad and I separated when I was pregnant with her. It was really, really rough divorce, things are much better now. So we were in the process of divorcing, you know, when she's born and things like that. And so there's already a bunch of issues with that. And so I was teaching school teaching science, and my mom would pick her up from preschool at 12 every day. And so at lunch, I would call and just how was your day? What are you doing? And my mom's like, she said, she didn't feel good or stomach hurts. None of like, the symptoms. You see, like I had not noticed more drink. He had not noticed weight loss, none of that. And I said, Well, she never complains, please call teachers and see if they'll just get her in today. Like my gut was like, just go. This wasn't like a looming thing. It was like, she's complaining that feel good. I feel like she's got a doctor. So my mom got an appointment. I'm still teaching biology or science today. And they call me from pediatrician. And they said, they think it's just a virus. I said, No, it's not. And I said, can they just check her for a UTI? So standard, and the UTI pee test is glucose and our blue blood sugar was 300. And pausing and backtracking two years before that I was teaching seventh grade, and I had an awesome seventh grader with type one and a diabetic alert dog in my class every day. And that was the first time I got super into understanding the science of it and educated for this kid because I became her person at school. Yeah, having that experience. That was actually the first phone number ever gave my teacher phone number to a parent with her mom. And so I'm at school, and my mom's telling me his information, and she's like, they're gonna send us to Brenners Hospital, which is a children's hospital here. And I was like, okay, and I knew then my child was diabetic. And I texted my former students, mom, and I said, daughter's doctor, that blood sugar 300. We're going to Brenners and having that support system, they're still incredibly good friends of mine. Today. That student is in school to be a teacher. I literally texted her this morning. So and they were really it was really great to have that, that that knowledge there. And so we go to printers for three days, and it was awful. I mean, it wasn't awful. Brenners was great. But anytime, you know, holding your kid down, that's five and doesn't understand, you know, for all the things, but we were lucky we weren't in DKA we caught this, you know, early, and the education was exhausting, and probably more so because I kept asking questions, and I wanted to understand every bit of it. And that's just not possible to do at diagnosis. And then I was in the midst of this situation with custody was oh my gosh, now I've got to send my daughter somewhere without me. Yeah. And so all of those things went on. So we were the high school about three days, and we went home. And in the weeks following that, thankfully, at the time, I was working at a phenomenal school, she came to work with me, which is not unheard of in public education, really. I stayed home with her for a little while. And then she came back to school with me some lots of pieces and all the things for her right, recognizing, you know, we do the JDRF walk. And after we did the first one, she was diagnosed in April, and the walk was in like October ish. And after the walk, she's like, we did the money, we raise the money. Is there a cure now? And I didn't recognize that I had not fully explained that to her. Yeah,

Scott Benner 20:59
she thought you were just saving up to pay for a thing that she needed some right.

Leigh Anne 21:03
And so and then in the car, and she's just like, literally breaks my heart thing about today. She was five, and we were on injections. We only started on the pump in December of this year. Oh, wait, like, it'll be a year in December. Because she didn't wanna do it. And so we weren't injections forever. So I'm always like the pro the meds. So at the time, we were doing a lot of her injections in her stomach, and she's five and I'm driving down the road. And she was like, Mom, when I have a baby or my shots gonna hurt my baby. And I'm like, at five years old. She's thinking about when she's a mom and having to put shots in her stomach. And I'm like, if she's vocalizing that, like, what else is she worried about? I mean, it just. So those things, I mean, just all the things that come with diagnosis, but that was kind of our story. And so we regrouped. And then we go into kindergarten. So she's three months into a diagnosis and kindergarten starts, I fought in court for her not to go to public school, because I know what public school diabetic care is in our area. Her school doesn't know how to nurse one day a week, and we are one of them. She was at one of the better public schools, but her dad, at the time, wanted her to be in public school. And I lost in court because the school was trained on diabetes. And, and so the first bit of her kindergarten experience was not great. She had a teacher that I know very well, but no teacher, everyone knows this can be responsible for a newly diagnosed Yeah, five and six year old in school. It was horrible. And so thankfully, that was COVID year. And so he came home. So I was now teaching virtually, and COVID was, you know, really, I hate to say it this way, because I feel for all the negative things, but it was really positive for our journey with type one. So we're now home all together all day. And so and she never went back to public school after that.

Scott Benner 22:50
I did. I had that conversation the other night. She's like, she's like, you know, I hate what happened to everybody and all the bad stuff that came of it. She's like, how great was it to be able to stay in the house? Yeah. You know, I don't know, just, she's like, I liked it. I was like,

Leigh Anne 23:08
I gotcha. So phase one, um, was my favorite,

Scott Benner 23:11
I enjoyed not being sick, mostly, you know, because I didn't have COVID. And you weren't meeting other people. So like, no colds, and nothing like that ever happened. And now, you know, sniffing now, because some dirty person must have coughed on me in public or something. And

Leigh Anne 23:26
I'm in the Bible Belt. So you can imagine we were the people that I wouldn't leave the house. And we had, thankfully, we were like, we in a good situation, we actually moved to this farm in the middle of COVID. ourselves, and when we let the movers now, and so my kids had their horses, they had everything like we didn't have to We were happy in our bubble. And I'm so and I know that a lot of people did not have that situation. And I did a lot for my students online. A lot to make sure they were okay.

Scott Benner 23:50
I'd also like to say that there's a lot wrong with not being around other people and socializing anything. I'm just saying, like there was a nice break, like I think it was, I think that's how if you're not going to be impacted by the health effects of COVID, right, where the financial stuff or all the other bad stuff that came with it, I think 20 years from now, you'll look back and think like, you remember that time we got off for two years. Like that's cool, because it's how it felt a little bit. It was a little like, Hey, you don't have to do as much for a while. I think people found that attractive for people in certain parts of their life. Like if you were 21 Just getting out of college was horrible. Awful. Yeah, if you're in college, if you're in high school, it was, but I'm old. I was like, oh, like a break. This is nice. You know, so I don't know. For me,

Leigh Anne 24:31
it was so amazing. To not have to be anywhere. I had to be on my Zoom classes at certain times. But like if my kids wanted to watch a movie at 10 o'clock at night, we just watched a movie we painted the garage neon colors because why not? And my mom who is amazing like the epitome of like a grandma, my mom is who my mother is and she's the best. So she makes slideshows for everything. So every birthday my kids from the birthday year before is where the slideshow starts. And now she YouTubes and Seven CDs and, and so she made slideshows, COVID one COVID Phase Two for all of us and it was like pictures we were sending to each other in the family because she has autoimmune disease and we had type one in our house so we were not like and but she documented all those things like in our fun what we were doing plus what's happening in the news and plus with the new restrictions are and how cool I told my kids. I was like, you're gonna use this and your history class, and 15 years like you're gonna use your your grandma's slideshow document this time. But yes, I agree. It was a magical time on some levels.

Scott Benner 25:30
So your daughter's diagnosed. She's not DKA, which is terrific. She has these like kind of deep thoughts pretty early about it. Didn't want to use a pump, which is fine was Sheila CGM. She

Leigh Anne 25:42
was. But here's the thing. And I'm grateful now. But it was awful, then. I only knew CGM is existed because I've had a student in class and I was like that thing that shows it on her phone. And I asked about that. And they're like, Well, you we don't let our patients get on for three months. I was like, okay, so reflectively I understand that, but it was hard. I mean, we got up every night at 2am fingerstick. Every night, like all the things and also to she's an extremely picky eater. Always has been She won't eat meat. She won't eat peanut butter, sweet bread. She won't eat cheese, like she's nothing. And so getting her like we weren't Pre-Bolus In the beginning. We didn't know I had to give her a shot in between meals. I didn't know she was gonna eat. Yeah. And so we did have a CGM is the short answer. But we had to wait three months. And I'm again reflecting. I'm grateful because we've had times like Dexcom sent us the wrong stuff. And so we went five days after having a CGM for how long and not having it and to being able to know what to do and just revert back to that quickly is helpful.

Scott Benner 26:37
Okay, cool. She did go to a pump recently, you said

Leigh Anne 26:41
she did. Um, there's this incredible organization where we live called the diabetes family connection. And November of the year, she was diagnosed, we went to family camp for type one diabetes, which was the single best decision I did for my family for type one. You are at this camp, and every family is the thing. The carbs are listed for you at dinner. Every counselor everyone there is type one or someone in their family is. And we had this great experience. Well, then COVID happened we didn't get to go. And then we got to go back last October. And it was fantastic. And the little girl in our cabin needed to change her Omni pod. And I was asked us like is okay, if we Catherine, I watch and she said yes. And right after Shana. Kathy goes, I'll get a pump. And I was like, great. And a meet. I was like messaging the doctor from camp. I was like, Can we get a pump appointment? Like let's do it. She's in then. And so I mean, and that's been great. And it's been it's so much easier, like so much easier. There are its own issues with that. But she is on Omnipod five now. Okay,

Scott Benner 27:37
cool. Why did you want to come on the podcast to talk about the, the challenges you have. So I think we understand to some degree, how the bipolar impacts you. But like you're saying, you're having a good day today, what happens when you're having like a bad day,

Leigh Anne 27:55
every single thing is extremely hard. And I when I'm in a state like now when I'm rational and I'm happy and having a good day, it seems almost like pathetic, and irrational to even like talk about that state of mind. Because when I'm in it is incredibly real. But when I talk about everything, I'm like, Oh my gosh, like you have this amazing, blessed life, like get your stuff together. So for me what I think your question was, what does it look like? Or how does that was? Your question was, yeah,

Scott Benner 28:21
I'm wondering if you even know what it looks like. Because I Yeah, is that you? I'm talking to now able to witness a bad day and under God mean? Yes,

Leigh Anne 28:31
not a long time ago, because I put the work in. And that's the thing, too, I have to keep reiterating. It isn't every day, every minute conscious effort to manage bipolar. And that's where I think people don't get the support that they need, or the education to understand what's really happening. I can now if you'd asked me 10 years ago, I would have given you a list of what I think it feels like. But for me, it's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to take the next breath. It's super hard to go get food, it's for my kids to do normal daily things. But I think having like I would never and I say this because I'm a super loving mom. And it sounds like normal. I would never want like my bipolar two bipolar to affect my children. I know it does, because they can tell when mom's like however mom is. But I am very good. I think, in my perspective, from sheltering them as best I can when I'm having a really bad day. Or if like I'm crying. I mean, obviously I'm having a hard time. But I'm good at reaching out to my support system and being like I need you to run interference, or can you just come help me for a few minutes and that's not always an option. So

Scott Benner 29:32
a day like that is you not being able to like cope if you maybe couldn't even feed somebody or yourself like it could get to that point hard to get out of bed? I

Leigh Anne 29:45
would say I like I like yes and no. So I will push through and force myself to get up and make sure my kids are okay. Okay, but it is like a level of hard that I can't convey in a normal rational state. ate, it feels like climbing Mount Everest to get up from my bed and walk to the kitchen. Everything is like a fight to get it done. So it really depends on that that can last a very short time meaning a day, or that can last a couple of days, if that makes sense. But it's not always an option to have someone come help me. And now that my kids are a little older, and they're home, most of the time, I can delegate and be like, tell my older daughter, I really need to go to snack right now. For my younger daughter or I can now we have UberEATS I can DoorDash food to my front door and tell my kids are gonna get the food. Which sounds horrible because as a parent, I'm a super hands on involved mom and so like even like talking about it now. It's like, Wow, that's so pathetic. But I recognize like,

Scott Benner 30:47
in that moment, that's what needs

Leigh Anne 30:48
to happen. Horrible. Yeah, like, it's horrible.

Scott Benner 30:50
If Katherine's nine now hold your other 113 13.

Leigh Anne 30:56
So my name is Hayden. And we can say her name as well. She's awesome.

Scott Benner 30:59
So when my my question was, is when Hayden and Catherine are like, I don't know, four and one. And you have a bad day, then what do you do? Do you tape them to the refrigerator? So they can't hurt themselves? Like what do you like it? I mean, no. Yeah.

Leigh Anne 31:13
And that's a great question. So what how would I do though there's like a period of years, and that time that are just a blur of survival for me, I know that I was really going to make good memories, but it was more of like shutting us all in a room watching me be putting a TV on. I do. My entire family lives within 10 minutes of my house. However, as understanding as they think they are about bipolar, still does not change that they think I'm being hard or demanding or unreasonable or rude or mean or whatever, when I truly am a lot of the time being the best that I can be in that moment. My best just looks different on different days. And that's true for everyone. On

Scott Benner 31:56
one of those days while it's happening. Do you consciously think this is a bad day? Or oh, yeah, you know, okay. Yeah. It's not, it's not like, it's not like your think your consciousness is different on the same day, you understand you have a baseline understanding of what good and bad looks like, I don't know if we're using the right words. But But what these two different days look like, and then, you know, you're in, it's not like you're, I don't know, it's not like you're trapped under a building and you think this is normal? This is fine. You think I'm trapped? There was

Leigh Anne 32:26
a time I did feel that way. Okay. It's really because of I know, keep saying it, like, I had to have the understanding of this I had to recognize like, I It's truly like this is I think this will help us to help kind of make sense when Katherine's diagnose and all the things you know, when she gets low or really high, she can be hard, right? So when they were younger, she was being super mean to her sister, she like hit her or something. And I think she was really low. And I said, you know, that's a hard parenting line. And I remind her older sister that was not okay. And I said, Honey, when her blood sugar's low, she really can't help that. And she said, God still gives her a choice. And I was like, I hear you. But so it's kind of the same thing for me. The choices look different. It's choosing like, it's um, I'm still trying and choosing to do right and do those things. It's just that that best or that choice is a lot crappier choice than another day, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Scott Benner 33:21
And from the other person's perspective, they can understand the scenario that you're in, but it doesn't change the fact that they got punched. Right, right. So that's,

Leigh Anne 33:31
and that's why I started trying to be better and and being in my diagnosis, because I was hurting people around me, with my words with my actions. Completely unintentionally. It's

Scott Benner 33:42
why you hear people in family say things like, you know, I had to separate myself from that, like, I love them, but I can't be around that anymore. Yeah, yeah. So you're so you have that to worry about too, that you Yes. That you could be the catalyst for your kids one day just being like, Hey, Mom, I love mom, but I can't I can't do this all the time. Do you take any medication for this? Anything that helps you?

Leigh Anne 34:03
It's actually really interesting. So when I was first diagnosed, I went through and typical and about the time sometimes can take two years. I mean, there's bipolar is such a, an odd but complicated diagnosis, that there's not like two pills, you get to fix it different pills, order people, different combinations. And so I went through all the psychotropic drugs, and have been managed homeopathic Lee, for the most part for about eight years, which when Katherine was diagnosed, I no longer take anything to sleep. I was very I was that was a concern. I need to be able to hear alarms, I've got to go to wake up. That was a piece of it. But I was on homeopathic before that which it's just an amazing situation. And we happen to have a connection to someone who's she's a neurologists, a doctor and I like registered homeopathic whatever. And a lot of her research has shown that bipolar I'm probably gonna get half of this. I'm not shelling it a lot. I guess what I'm saying it's basically you need to feed your brain the right stuff to produce the controls you need and So it's like a really, it's a lot. It's like five pills three times a day of like, all these different magnesium. So like that. And then I do take another medication just in the morning like a Vyvanse. Like a it's like an add drug actually, which typically you don't give to bipolar people because it makes manic. That's not what it does for me, it actually helps me. Slow down kind of

Scott Benner 35:17
you do, you are speaking quickly. But there's a scenario where you're talking much faster than this even. Yeah, like right now, like, you were speaking at a pace that I would have to rev myself up for. And I speak pretty quickly. So you know, like to get like, I'm trying to think like, you'd have to make me upset or passionate. And then I could speak at your pace, but I don't think I could keep it going for more than a couple of minutes. And you are this is nor I'm watching you. This is super calm. Super calm. Yeah, you are absolutely normal right now, like, like you. But if I, but I also feel like I could take these headphones off and say, Hey, listen, tell me about yourself, and come back an hour from now. And you'd still be talking. Yeah, yeah. So you'd be missed, though. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I, it's just interesting, really. So is this a lifelong thing for you?

Leigh Anne 36:11
Yes. And I actually, it was the day I was diagnosed with bipolar was a great day for me, because it's like, wow, there's a name for this. There's a label for this. There's a reason for this. Like, I'm not just this mean person, like I'm not just so it's so but like looking back at like my childhood. God bless my mother as a saint. So yes, definitely, typically, bipolar, you get doesn't show up is the wrong word, because I think it's showing up early ages, but they don't really, really see it. So adolescence and early 20s, and things like that. But again, the research is changing from where we're understanding what bipolar is. And also there's people that are ADHD, or that are bipolar, and they're misdiagnosed for ADHD, because they're only looking at the manic part of it. And so there's a lot of that too. And then whole tangent side note, we've now know that 90% of our serotonin is made in our gut. And I have ulcerative colitis. Don't you think there's a correlation? So? Yes, sir. Yeah,

Scott Benner 37:04
no, I agree. I think I agree. I've never agreed with something so much that I didn't understand. As that's a great point. Yeah. As as the idea that somehow balancing your gut biome is valuable for you. I don't understand. Like, I mean, I know, I could probably pick my way through the understanding of it. I'm just saying, it's not one of those things that you just open up a book, and the book tells you for sure, like, this is exactly what's happening, you know, but I just think it's true. Like there's I just did a thing recently on on what was like, just like I take a probiotic every day. And for you, yeah. And I recently did like a reset kind of a thing. I'm looking for it right now. It was like a 30. Day, I stopped taking my normal probiotic for 30 days. And I took this other other one for 30 days. I'm trying to find it for you. So I can tell you what it

Leigh Anne 38:01
is. Do you refrigerate your probiotic is does it require refrigeration? I

Scott Benner 38:05
know that there's people who say that the ones that that need to be refrigerated or are better somehow, I don't buy one that does my my hippie lady says I don't have to. So

Leigh Anne 38:18
I'm a tree hugging I love it. So

Scott Benner 38:19
I tried something called body bio gut plus, it was like a 30 day thing to kind of like improve your gut function. And it wasn't incredibly expensive. Actually. It's unavailable right now on Amazon. So I must not have been the only one. Because of your Did you do the plug for it? I don't think I said anything about it. No, because I wasn't sure how it would go. I actually bought one for me one for Arden. And, and one for my son. Not for my daughter, not for my wife because my wife said I have my own probax I'm like fine, whatever. So I think this is supposed to be a daily thing. This is like somebody's probably using this as their daily probiotic. But my person said, just switch to this one for one month to see, you know what happens and it was interesting, like you could tell, like, I would tell you that my digestion. Like that whole process from when it goes in my mouth to how it feels in my stomach to how it comes out. The other side is so much different in the last two years, two and a half, three years that it was my whole life like as an adult I got through most of my life by taking fiber. And thinking that that was my concern. I probably could take a little fiber still, but I don't and I don't have a problem. I don't eat enough vegetables. So I think maybe a tiny bit would help me but I think it's the as crazy as it sounds. I think it's partly the probiotics and the in this the supplements that I take. I also think that it got better when I went on the week. Ovie and yes, it slows my digestion down. And I think that really helped as well. So, you know, I have no Oh,

Leigh Anne 40:00
no, I have a friend who has also declined us, which is weird because it's kind of rare. And she's like one of my best friends and I got diagnosed way later after her, but it was just crazy that like, we have the same thing. But she has recently gone on a It's not whiskey, but it's the same class of injection and it has helped her significantly, which is not an ulcer was good. He's done Ultra cleanses drug. But it's it's helped her because it has slowed down her digestion. Yeah,

Scott Benner 40:24
I don't understand all that. Obviously, I don't understand the first thing about it. All I can tell you is that that whole process that I described from my mouth to my, to my but it just goes better now than it used to. I used to really like, like, there were days where I was like, I would struggle with it. And like I'd be one of those people who like have to run to the bathroom. And then I wouldn't and then you know, it was great. And now it's all really fairly consistent. So I don't know, just all like all I can tell you is it was a it was a big impact for me. Jeez, it's tough because you're talking so fast. I don't have my thoughts. I'm sorry. No, don't be. Don't be sorry. Like, no, it's just interesting, because that's not a thing that normally happen. I'm usually ahead of people, when I'm talking to think

Leigh Anne 41:06
I'm from the north when I go there. And as they come I can drive a track. Yeah,

Scott Benner 41:10
I would imagine if someone talked to you, they definitely think you're from the northeast. But yeah, it's interesting because you I'm used to being pacing wise, a little ahead of the people I'm talking to, because my brain works like ne D. But you got me a little bit like you. I'm a little off balance, because I'm behind. I'm not used to being in that deposition. Think about

Leigh Anne 41:32
it. Do you ever get frustrated when you talk to people that are really slow to get to the point and barely talk slow?

Scott Benner 41:37
I gotta tell you, Leanne, it bothers me.

Leigh Anne 41:42
Yeah, that's my normal experience with every interaction times like 10 or 20. I would imagine when I it's very frustrating. And so I usually like, especially as a teacher, which I loved the last five years of teaching. It was incredible experience. I had students that have bettered my life.

Scott Benner 41:59
Can you give me one second? This? Yeah, you're good. This is Arden. This Hey, RJ I'm recording but what's going on? Don't be is this something important? Can I call you an artist? I

Leigh Anne 42:10
love you artist. Oh,

Scott Benner 42:11
this girl. This lady is yelling. She says she loves you. Okay, well, I'll be done in like 20 minutes. I'll give you a call. Okay. All right. Bye. She just saw the look on her face. She was like, I just got back from my business class. I wanted to tell you about it. I was like, Okay. She wants to share. But she but I said oh, I'm recording just Oh, I'm sorry. And I was like, No, it's okay. She this is her second day of her sophomore year of college. So that's exciting. She was really off the site, because there's no other place to put this and maybe it'll give me a chance to reset myself. So Arden for the first time. travelled to school completely by herself. Right. And so she got in a car in New Jersey and drove to Georgia, though she drove 700 miles. And we split it up for she drove like, six or seven hours, she stopped at a family friend's house. And then she moved on and she did the rest of the drive. But the poor kid got sick like two days before like I'm sick now. I think she made me sick. But that's not the point. Like she's like fever, like runny nose, driving this 700 miles by yourself and a car packed full of I want to say stuff but let me be honest, it's 85% clothing, and packed, packed, packed full of stuff. She had to make some stops. You know all that all this. And then when she arrived in Georgia, her room wasn't ready. So she had to stay with a friend another friend for a night and then get up in the morning move herself into her room by herself. Like that night she was on the phone with me like building furniture. Like not a thing garden does. So well with it all. But she's sick the whole time. And now I get on Sunday night. She's like, I didn't get any of my The one thing I don't understand about school, no matter what it is, is they they send you a syllabus. It's six days before school starts. They know everybody's coming in from out of state like and then they say on day one, you have to have this stuff completed. So now she's freaking out a little bit on Sunday night. And I'm looking at her on FaceTime like are you gotta like, calm down a little bit, you know, like, like, she's like, this isn't done. I haven't done this yet. And I'm like, I'm like you're doing terrific. I'm like first of all you got yourself there. You're alive. So much good stuff. Yeah, you moved in you went to the the storage unit. You wouldn't get your other stuff you like, you know, you're putting furniture together. Like just a plan. Yeah, go to go to bed. When she's like, Well, I still have to make art and I'm looking at you just go to bed like you don't I mean, like lay down, go to sleep wake up tomorrow. Try again. You know, so I said to her, I don't think she listened to me. But I'm going to keep telling her. I said the most valuable thing I figured out wrapped around. No responsibility as an adult is to have a flexible to do list. Just you know if you've 10 things on your list. Obviously the thing is the top is the most important. That's how you think about it. But don't think Even just the most important just think of it as as the next thing. So, if you have to move number three to number one, that's fine. You know what I mean? Like, just keep ordering things like that, and you'll be okay. So hopefully she'll do that not beat herself up on. I'm still on number one, but I gotta get to number four. You know what I mean? Well,

Leigh Anne 45:17
North Carolina is probably closer to her than you are. So she can always come here if she, I mean, it's kind of still far, but I have a friend's farm in Georgia.

Scott Benner 45:27
So there are so many people who have reached out and said, like, Oh, if there's a storm, she can come here, and I tell her all the time, and she goes, Okay, I'm gonna have one of your people murder me? Is that what's gonna happen? I'm like, I would say,

Leigh Anne 45:41
anyway, aside, we should definitely do a podcast on education and type one, because I have a lot to say about that.

Scott Benner 45:48
I bet. I bet Leann, if I said to you, so Pop Rocks, you'd have a lot to say about that.

Leigh Anne 45:55
Such that's so true. But education is something I don't know a lot about top rocks. But education is something I as a being a type a character or type one diabetes care person in a school system, working within the classroom, and being a parent to it and being a parent having to have another teacher take care of my kid, just so many in understanding the legality of cyber force and IEPs. And all the the it's that's a whole thing. But I won't tangent. But before Arden called I was saying that, how it gets annoying for me to go all day through life when everyone's in slow motion. And I'm constantly I feel like I'm being insanely patient. And as a teacher, I worked with highly motivated, I went to the most diverse school in our county, and we have a county of 52,000 students. And we are we were one of the top schools in the country, because it's a early college program where kids have to get in and apply, but it's free. And they graduate the two year degree or associate's in a high school diploma. And so we're high minority, high diversity. My kids stories are unbelievable. But with that being said, I'm very conscious in that situation. So I'm teaching, I'm teaching information. I'm fielding questions, I'm being really patient. And a lot of my kids English isn't their first language. So I'm a slow and patient and as I can't be, and so when I get home, trying to maintain living in slow motion around me, but not in my head, if that makes sense. It's really hard. And my husband and my mom, my mom's here a lot because she's close by and she used to be a lot of my childcare now that I'm home that changed. It's that's who gets lashed out at because they get so frustrated. They're like, just be patient, just be calm, you just be paid like people like let me talk and I'm like, it's been 17 minutes, you said nothing.

Scott Benner 47:33
I can explain it in from my perspective. If you're taking a lot of time in between your words. There's it's not a voice in my head, but it's this feeling of like, Oh, my God, come on. Like, I know what you're going to say. How is it possible? You don't think so I'm following the there's like a Pentameter their speech. And I'm following it along. And I know the next word, but they can't find it. And I'm like, this is fascinating, like, you know, so it starts out is when I first started making the podcast, I was I was bad at it. I think I am much better at it. Now. It doesn't bother me the same way. Like I just take a different like, I'm leaning forward talking to you. So like, because I'm trying to, I'm trying to listen to you know, I'm trying to listen to you. And but you're going so fast that I can't form my thoughts to ask you more questions. And when people are speaking more slowly, and you're looking at me today, what I'll do is I'll move the microphone here. And I will sit back and relax. Like I will take this as they're running the show. But I at least can keep up. So even though you're speaking slowly. I do know my next question. I just have to talk myself out of caring how long it's taking you to get your words out. And that I'm actually good at and there's only been a couple of people. There was one gentleman on here one time it's been so long now. He was on talking about like trying to DIY insulin. And he spoke so slowly in between his words that I when I edited it, pushed his words together and still got emails from people saying, Wow, this guy talks really slow. And but he was also trying to explain as well, he's Yeah. And so I've noticed that really, like kind of intellectual people are not very willing sometimes to blurt things out. They they choose their words very carefully. So there's a difference between speaking slowly and speaking. Thoughtfully, maybe. Yeah, it's not thoughtfully I don't think I don't speak thoughtfully. I think that my words just come to me very quickly. Like it's, you know, well, and

Leigh Anne 49:40
I would say to because I do think I'm an intellectually I do not, that was not I totally get what you're saying I think, but I am a really intellectual thinker. It's just really fast. And for me two people think like, I just don't have a filter. I'm actually using a huge filter. I would just like in a lot of things, but I'm also like, very honest and direct, but I try to do it in a kind of live refer those that can't take it. And so there's a lot of pieces to my communication. Yeah. And I communicate differently depending on my audience or who I'm teaching or what's happening. But the slow speech is a conscious effort all the time. And I hate when it comes across as like, like I've had people be like, you've somewhere to be like, I'm like, No, I'm more like, we're just talking like, I'm not like, this is not rushing. And so that is a hard piece that may seem like a petty thing. But that is hard for me on a daily basis and daily interactions. And I'm always told to calm down, take a breath, and I'm, like, totally calm right now, guys, like we can meditate if you want. And I just speak very quickly. Yeah, yeah. And so and I open everyone, I used to be a teacher, I open every class when I talk fast. If you don't know what I said, Let's start again. It's not it's, it's me. Yeah,

Scott Benner 50:45
I'll tell you what, there's this one part of it. That's a superpower. If you ever get into an argument. You can make sense while you're yelling. That's such a big deal in an argument, because most people did that. Yeah, cuz most people can't do that. So when you're like, like, lit up, and you're speaking quickly, and you're still making sense, it throws people off a little bit. And especially if it's a harsh interaction, like if you're yelling back and forth at each other, and your brain still working quickly, the other person is at a significant disadvantage. Which is That's true. Yeah. Not a thing that occurred my life much since I'm older. But you know, and

Leigh Anne 51:21
then I gotta remember, so don't forget, because there's two things. With that being said, I have a thing about certain diagnosis as being superpowers. And then also something just that made me think of someone's like, oh, I should tell them that. Oh, but when I'm manic, the the speech patterns are so fast that sometimes my words are slurred together. And I have trouble writing because I will not finish writing the word before I start the next word. And so letters get left out. I used to at school on the board, and kids were like, Oh, you left out a letter and like, you're right at it. Because my brain is working faster than I can get it on the paper. Yeah. So that is hard sometimes, but about diagnosis. So I, of course, in a school system, I've worked with kids who have autism and things like that, and I look at I use autism, because I think it's, it's going to correlate to my point, if you look at a list of symptoms for autism, obviously, it's a huge spectrum. But a lot of the things on that list, they're not symptoms, they're like gifts, if you've got heightened awareness and sensitivity, you extreme intelligence like savant stuff. And I think the same for bipolar there are definitely and then maybe that's when people like, Oh, she's delusional, delusional is on that symptom list. But there, I can multitask on a level, people couldn't even say with one of the tasks, and I don't mean that I love people, people are great, but that is something I can do. And I also can work in controlled chaos very, very well. I can go very long periods without sleep and still be solid. Not that that's something you should do. But like on an average night, I sleep about four hours a night, I get a lot done in a day. And so I do think that there are like pieces to it. And because I've taught science that for so long, I do think there are evolutionary links to things you know, there's like, the whole thing with your blood type goes to who your ancestors were, if you were hunter gatherers, if you were farmers, there's like a correlations of blood type you have and like what you're supposed to eat and stuff. And I've been a vegetarian for 35 years, and I'm supposed to eat red meat. But that's okay. So with that being said, I feel like maybe I'm totally off tangent here. I think like with autism and certain things, there may be some type of evolutionary genetic link in there for pieces of it. Does that sound crazy? I

Scott Benner 53:16
have only heard about the blood type thing one time, and I don't remember we looked into I don't remember if it was, like, if I could find validity or not. Oh, I did. I can't, I can't think back that far. There

Leigh Anne 53:25
probably is it's called Eat right for your diet. And there probably is some validity. But also, if you look at like blood type O blood is the most popular in our country. And it's the most recessive blood type. So it's really on who settled here and kept passing it down. So like probability wise, that makes sense.

Scott Benner 53:40
Here's something I'll share with you. Because it seems like you would want to know, that last bit that you talked about, is the first time that I did not follow what your point was.

Leigh Anne 53:49
Okay. So that's a good, thank you for asking. Yeah.

Scott Benner 53:53
So going back through the rest of the conversation, whether by the way, not just you, I hope it's obvious when you're listening. Like, I don't care if I even agree with people who I'm talking to. I'm just there. They're explaining how they feel. And I tried to ask questions, right. But for the last 15 minutes, every one of your points that you've made, I've understood what it is you're saying. And then you started off with. I'm gonna, like use people with autism as an example. And then you went to blood types, and I have to be completely honest with you. I don't know what you're trying to tell me. No,

Leigh Anne 54:26
I appreciate that so much, because I hate it when people agree with me, and they don't know what I said. I can't stand that. Like, just ask like, and also So can I

Scott Benner 54:35
ask you just to rephrase it and try to make your point again? Yeah. Okay. So

Leigh Anne 54:39
basically what I'm saying I think with a lot of and again, my The reason Sykes, I've looked at a lot of different mental health diagnosis is things like I'm very interested in behavior. And what makes us do what we do, and in looking at a lot of diagnosis is that we have that get a negative label, like autism, like bipolar, there are actually some really strong attributes in those disorders that people who don't have them cannot do and be cut. And this is probably where I lost you, because I just sort of in my head pretended you had normal, like, not normalized, not what I meant, like a chunk of knowledge to connect this and it's my fault. No one would, unless you're in my science class, so sorry. So going back, I went off top again, there is a lot of like, genetic and evolutionary links to things we do and how we live and health and all the things and that's where I went to blood type stay with me, it's gonna make sense. Where there's like, genetic links to, if you have this blood type than your ancestors, were probably farmers, because this is what genetically works best for you. So when I say that, I think there's probably some genetic advantage at somewhere in my ancestral history, to being able to stay awake for 20 hours, okay, being able to multitask. Like the, there was a Predator movie, I went and saw, I don't know, long time ago, and the Predator, dude, alien, they wanted the most superior DNA from the planet. And that was in the child with autism. And I was like, This is my point I've been trying to make they were thinking that the most superior DNA was in this savant child with autism. And I guess it kind of like conveys my point that you can have these diagnosis is, and yes, they are very hard. And there's a lot of stuff to deal with. But I do believe there may be some piece of that that served my people 10,000 years ago, or whatever,

Scott Benner 56:27
if I can, like, you just spoke for a couple of minutes. The first thing that was really interesting that you did was you I said, Hey, can you just reframe this, and you spent the first 40 words, not talking about it? Like it was, you were like, I have a science background. And because of that, like you like, and I think what you, I think what you were saying was, I've paid attention to how past civilizations and how they lived might impact how we are now today and use the blood type thing to make the point. But but if I could boil it down what you just told me, I'm going to try to boil it down as closely as I can, you were telling me that you think that you work well on a little amount of sleep? Because perhaps the people whose bloodline you come from, we're good at that, too. Is that fair? It's fair,

Leigh Anne 57:17
I would just say like, there's a genetic advantage, like it bipolar, allows me to do certain things that I couldn't do if I wasn't bipolar, okay. But it also comes with negative things. So wherever that genetic link of being bipolar comes in, maybe that served an advantage because things get passed down. Survival of the fittest, things that get passed down, survive for certain reasons, to maybe being able to do certain things that I can do is that polar served some primitive culture well, but that could be a total leap and

Scott Benner 57:47
all that, like, it's crazy. It's it's gonna sound I don't really care about all that what I cared about was, it's interesting that like, you're you have, there are connections that you see between things that I don't I'm not aware of, right, and the way you describe them, like the way you talk, I guess, it was hard for me to see the connections that you were there. I know now, but in the through the first time, like, I didn't understand what you were getting at. And that's got to be frustrating for you, because you know, what the hell you're talking about? And you're trying to say it out loud. And I mean, listen, it's communication one way or the other. It's just, you know, there are plenty of people who don't have Bipolar who also don't communicate either. Well, but you were getting out of the words, but I wasn't seeing the lines you were drawing. And now and now I do, because I because we went back through it. But even that would be exhausting to do over and over again. So that's exhausting. Sorry. No, I was gonna say to your kids follow you. Yes, they do

Leigh Anne 58:45
most of the time. But that point is so powerful, because to me, it feels validating because I struggle with that every day. Like I all the time, I have the most amazing man in my life. Amazing guy. But he's logical. He's rational. His degrees in accounting is very linear thinker. We're having a conversation and I say something that he feels is unbelievably unrelated. And it makes complete sense the connection to me, and that is kidding, that doesn't go well sometimes. And my mom has a habit of just saying okay to things because she gets lost in my words and doesn't know as I get frustrated when I have to keep repeating myself. And yes, she's older, but she's not like, she's she's. Yeah. Right. And so that is absolutely a struggle all the time. Yeah. And I can imagine, and so yeah, there's something else. She's Oh, my kids, when I know I am, need to, like, take it back as when my older daughter is like, she gets really stressed and will be like, I can't do that. You just asked me do 10 things and I can't do them. And let me finish the other things first, and I'm like, okay, that's reasonable. I personally can handle a list of 50 things in my brain. That is not reasonable for you. I don't say that out loud. Yeah. But and then and then the other thing that I'm seeing and my child with type one is, she is the spitting image of me except that I'm her mom, and she has type one and she's had the opportunity to be homeschooled and to have a lot of fun. cuz that would have been great for me. I had great parents in childhood, but raising me was probably how are we allowed to cuss on here, harden is the opposite of heaven. So with that said, I see like my type one child does not sleep. Like at all, we did all the things like, and so I just stopped for the bedtime, she goes to bed when she's tired, no matter what she's up at six years have been for the day. If I let her go to bed before 10 o'clock, she's up at 2am for the day. And I just can't do that. And that's something too I think that ties in to being bipolar. There's very little time that I'm alone or an adult, or away from children. And I do feel like I'm with my kids more than most parents. And that's what I want. And I love that I'm highly involved in their lives probably do involve sometimes, but not getting your words like we'll just do they go to bed because at my students are pushing for me to do a podcast, another conversation. But I'm like, when would I do that. And there's just very little time that I'm alone, because my kids are awake, mostly my younger child. My older one was like that. But now that she's a teenager, she sleeps. So she just and so I do wonder all the time, like have I passed this on to her? I don't know. And but I also handled her with so much compassion, that it annoys my older daughter more than I think a normal sibling, because not only there's type one there, but there's also I get her. And I remember not being gotten as a kid, and not understanding Oh, she's just a wild free spirit. Like, oh, that word can be a great word. But it's thrown around.

Scott Benner 1:01:26
Oh, sorry,

Speaker 2 1:01:27
no, no, I wanted I just couple things. I like you, I had a thought in my head. And you you almost get you almost beat it out of me. But I held on to it. So I love that you're drinking Mountain Dew, by the way, because of all the caffeine, it makes me.

Scott Benner 1:01:40
So there are a number of things that you you do well, that I wouldn't have expected when we started. So like when I jump in and start talking, you remember where we were before that that's not a thing I would expect from a person with bipolar. And you are not chomping at the bit to talk when I'm talking. You are you're listening to me. I've had conversations with people with bipolar before and it feels like it's them talking. And then them begrudgingly waiting while you're talking. And then them talking again, like and so you and I are having a conversation. It's it's, it's cool. Like, would that be on a bad day? Could you do that too?

Leigh Anne 1:02:16
I could I would be more like I wouldn't. Depending on our relationship at the time. Like, I would still be polite. And I may not be as listening. If people take too long to talk. I process other things in my head because I get bored. I've already thought about everything in the background of your room. Yeah. Because if you're not talking slow, I recognize that because I have the ability now to recognize what appears normal for other people, if that makes sense. If you do not talk like slow. So what about on a bad day? On a low day, like sad, everything's hard. It would have been very hard for me to show up. I would just have come across as like, well, maybe normal to you. But to me, I would have looked like a sad, depressed person. And I kind of just got off track again, after you said I was good at keeping up something about oh, gosh, what was the original question? Look, I've already messed it up. No,

Scott Benner 1:03:04
it's fine. I was saying that you were when I'm speaking. You're not I do. Listen, you are listening to me. Yeah. But

Leigh Anne 1:03:10
I do struggle with that. Because people think I'm not sometimes because I can do other stuff while I'm listening. And this is Oh my God. My little Katherine did this the other day. She was listening to her social studies video while she was doing her math. And I was like, you can't do both at the same time. Like, you know, she's a mom. She's like, I'm smart like that. And I was like, What are you mean, and she could repeat everything in the video and do her math correctly. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, she's me. She's really me. And you can imagine how public school was for a child who they just thought I was add, like, and like hyper or like, obstinate and my dad was superintendent of school system. So I'm supposed to be like, you know, look,

Scott Benner 1:03:43
yeah. Does it worry you when you see her act in ways that you do? Do you get concerned about that?

Leigh Anne 1:03:49
I think it's a loaded question. Concerns come with being a parent concerns come with type one concerns on bipolar. So yes, but I think I take comfort in knowing that if she is going to face having bipolar. She has a mom who's highly educated on it, and well equipped to have the places things in place to support her. But I also look at it and I have like, done amazing things. I have incredible friendships, I have a great support system. These are things I've had to work out, obviously. So of all the things this is also a now I'm probably under those things where you might miss the connection, but you're with me. It reminds me of her diagnosis, because when she was diagnosed, the endocrinology floor was full. So we were put on the pediatric cancer unit. And I'm sitting there mourning and grieving the life that was and how many keep my kid alive. And there's kids, they're walking around dying of cancer with no hope. And it was like, You know what, we've got type one. I've been prepared for this by my student two years ago. I know more about it than I ever would have because of that student. And we can treat this. We can't treat because some kids are walking around that can't be treated. Yeah. I have a situation where I can buy insulin. I have a place where I can get her mental health needs she's going to be so Surrounded by animals and outdoors, she's outside probably 10 hours a day, almost every day, she runs barefoot and builds forts and rides your pony and lays on the ground with her dog and gets dirty. And all of those things are very supportive of healthy mental health, whether you're bipolar or not. And so does it concern me? Sure, because it's hard. It's really hard. But she has gonna have to face hard stuff. And everybody has heard stuff. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:21
that's a great answer. Cool. Is there anything we didn't talk about that we should have? Do

Leigh Anne 1:05:27
you really want to answer that question? How do you like,

Scott Benner 1:05:29
well,

Leigh Anne 1:05:30
I'd be going 70 tangents.

Scott Benner 1:05:31
I mean, I'm up against time. So I'm just want to make sure I didn't get out of here. Anything that like really like you wanted to get to that we didn't get through. Yeah, I

Leigh Anne 1:05:39
just would say like, people that have other people with strong mental health challenges, whether that be depression or bipolar, like, you've got to recognize sometimes that their best may not look that great. But sometimes when I look like I'm being a raging mean, horrible person, that is the best I can do in that moment. And it is requiring so much self control, like I need grace, I need support. And if you're, especially for people that are close to you, it's just like the kid that comes home from school and is the perfect student and then falls apart at home. Like it's a safe place to explode. So that and also like, managing your mental health, it sounds so cliche, if I don't take care of me, I cannot take care of blood sugar. Right. And that felt very selfish for a long time. And it still does sometimes, but being aware of like, you know, what, if I don't take medicine, if I don't do what I need to do, if I do things that I know, trigger me, I can not be available. And it is not just being a bad mom or a not great mom, it is my kids blood sugar, and that's keeping her alive. So I think that that's important. It's amazing.

Scott Benner 1:06:36
Okay. Well, thank you. I really appreciate you doing this. When did you start listening to the podcast? So

Leigh Anne 1:06:42
really great question. I honestly don't know. But it had to be a long time ago because we scheduled this almost a year ago. So yeah, it had to be. I mean, probably maybe like two ish or three ish. You know what, maybe because that because I was on that, like I said, was on the Facebook group. Very early on a diagnosis. I joined all the things. But the podcast. Let's go with like two and a half to three years. Okay. Yeah. Okay, cool.

Scott Benner 1:07:04
Have I ever done other interviews with people with bipolar that you've heard? Not that I've heard? Okay. All right. I think there's some in the after darks, but and you're gonna get mad,

Leigh Anne 1:07:15
I will not mad, you're great. Sometimes I can't do them unless I'm in a really good space. Because the ads or which I saw the subscription saying coming, because I need the information or the information I want. isn't coming to me fast

Scott Benner 1:07:27
enough. So an ad throws you off. Yeah,

Leigh Anne 1:07:32
it doesn't throw me off. It's just so long. Not on yours. In general. Everybody's,

Scott Benner 1:07:35
yeah.

Leigh Anne 1:07:36
someone taking a breath is I interrupt them, because I think they're done talking.

Scott Benner 1:07:41
Interesting. Well, that's amazing. Yeah, I can't make the podcast without ads, we'll all be in trouble.

Leigh Anne 1:07:49
But like, for me, listening to the podcast, just even opening the first time I did was a step. Like there's a lot of books I want to read. And I don't read them. Because I have to be so focused to read the words and it feels slow and boring, because there's just it's hard, but I want the information. So I love the podcast. And I think it's incredibly great resource for a lot of people actually, when I went to pump trading, and this family was needed some help. And I sent them to it and I sent my my students that graduate with type one and stuff like that, like I try to get as much supports in college as I can because there should be a you have to take type one class before you leave home. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:08:22
I gotcha. All right. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. No, that's

having an easy to use and accurate blood glucose meter is just one click away. Contour next one.com/juicebox That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Jalen is an incredible example of what's so many experience living with diabetes. You show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes define you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong, and together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community or to share your own story, visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox And look out online for the hashtag Medtronic champion. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoy my full conversation with Jalen coming up in just a moment. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way. recording.com. Thanks for hanging out until the end. Now you're going to hear my entire conversation with Jalen don't forget Medtronic diabetes.com/juice Vox or the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform.

Speaker 1 1:10:04
My name is Jalen Mayfield. I am 29 years old. I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where I am originally from Waynesboro, Mississippi. So I've kind of traveled all over. I've just landed here in the Midwest and haven't left since.

Scott Benner 1:10:19
Nice. How old? were you when you were diagnosed with type one diabetes?

Speaker 1 1:10:22
I was 14 years old when I was diagnosed with type one diabetes

Scott Benner 1:10:26
15 years ago. Wow. Yes. Okay. 14 years old. What are you like? Do you remember what grade you were in?

Speaker 1 1:10:31
I actually do because we we have like an eighth grade promotion. So I had just had a great promotion. So I was going straight into high school. So it was a summer, heading into high school

Scott Benner 1:10:41
was that particularly difficult going into high school with this new thing?

Speaker 1 1:10:44
I was unimaginable. You know, I missed my entire summer. So I went to I was going to a brand new school with, you know, our community, we brought three different schools together. So I was around a bunch of new people that I had not been going to school with. So it was hard trying to balance that while also explaining to people what type one diabetes was,

Scott Benner 1:11:04
did you even know? Or were you just learning at the same time,

Speaker 1 1:11:07
I honestly was learning at the same time, my hometown did not have an endocrinologist. So I was traveling almost over an hour to the nearest you know, pediatrician, like endocrinologist for children. So you know, outside of that I didn't have any type of support in my hometown. Was

Scott Benner 1:11:26
there any expectation of diabetes? Is somebody else in your family have type one?

Unknown Speaker 1:11:29
No, I was the first one to have type one of my family.

Scott Benner 1:11:32
And do you have children? Now?

Unknown Speaker 1:11:34
I do not know.

Scott Benner 1:11:35
Do you think you will one day, still

Speaker 1 1:11:37
thinking about it? But right now, I've just been traveling books at all my career myself. So

Scott Benner 1:11:42
what do you do? What's your career? Yeah, so

Speaker 1 1:11:44
I am a marketing leasing specialist for a student housing company. So we oversee about 90 properties throughout the US. So I've been working for them for about eight years now. And you get to travel a lot. And that job? Yes, I experience a lot of travel. It's fun, but also difficult, especially with all your type one diabetes supplies, and all your electronics. So it's a bit of a hassle sometimes.

Scott Benner 1:12:06
What do you find that you absolutely need with you while you're traveling? diabetes wise,

Speaker 1 1:12:11
I have learned my biggest thing I need is some type of glucose. I have experienced lows, whether that's on a flight traveling, walking through the airport, and I used to always experience just being nervous to ask for some type of snack or anything. So I just felt, I felt like I needed to always have something on me. And that has made it my travel a lot easier.

Scott Benner 1:12:32
So growing up in the small town, what was your initial challenge during diagnosis? And what other challenges did you find along the way?

Speaker 1 1:12:43
Yeah, I think the initial one, I felt isolated, I had no one to talk to that it was experiencing what I was going through, you know, they were people would say, Oh, I know, this is like hard for you. But I was like, you really don't like I, I just felt lonely. I didn't know you know, people were watching everything I did. He was like, You can't eat this. You can't eat that. I felt like all of my childhood had been you know, I don't even remember what it was like for life before diabetes at this point, because I felt like that's the only thing I could focus on was trying to do a life with type one diabetes,

Scott Benner 1:13:17
when you found yourself misunderstood? Did you try to explain to people or did you find it easier just to stay private?

Speaker 1 1:13:24
I honestly I just held back I didn't really like talking about it. It was just it felt like it was just an repeating record where I was saying things and people weren't understanding it. And I also was still in the process of learning it. So I just, you know, kept it to myself didn't really talk about it when I absolutely had to,

Scott Benner 1:13:42
did you eventually find people in real life that you could confide in? I

Speaker 1 1:13:47
think I never really got the experience until after getting to college. And then once I graduated college, and moving to an even bigger town, that's what I finally found out as people were I was like, Okay, there's a lot of other people that have type one diabetes. And you know, there's a community out there, which I had never experienced before, is

Scott Benner 1:14:08
college where you met somebody with diabetes for the first time or just where you met more people with different ways of thinking.

Speaker 1 1:14:13
So I met my first person with diabetes, actually, my freshman year of high school, there was only one other person and he had had it since he was a kid like y'all once this was like, maybe born, or like right after that timeframe. So that was the only other person I knew until I got to college and I started meeting other people. I was a member of the band and I was an RA. So I was like, Okay, there's, you know, there's a small handful of people also at my university, but then, once I moved to I moved to St. Louis, and a lot of my friends I met were like med students and they were young professionals. And that's where I started really getting involved with one of my really close friends to this day. He was also type one diabetic and I was like, that's who introduced me to all these different types of communities and technology. is and which is really what helped jumpstart my learning more in depth with type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 1:15:05
Do you think I mean, there was that one person in high school but you were young? Do you really think you were ready to build a relationship and around diabetes? Or did you even know the reason why that would be important at the time?

Speaker 1 1:15:16
I didn't know, you know, I honestly didn't think about it, I just say, Oh, there's another person in my class that's kind of going through the same thing as I am. But they've also had it a lot longer than I have. So they kind of got it down. They don't really talk about it. And I was like, Well, I don't really have much to, like, connect with him. So sorry, connect with him, ya

Scott Benner 1:15:36
know. So now once your world expands as far as different people, different backgrounds, different places in college, you see the need to connect in real life, but there's still only a few people, but there's still value in that. Right?

Unknown Speaker 1:15:48
Correct.

Scott Benner 1:15:49
What do you think that value was at the time?

Speaker 1 1:15:52
I think it was just what making me feel like I was just a normal person. I just wanted that. And I just, I needed to know that. Like, you know, there was other people out there with type one diabetes experiencing the same type of, you know, thoughts that I was having.

Scott Benner 1:16:07
When were you first introduced to the Medtronic champions community? Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:16:12
so about two years ago, I was, you know, becoming more I was looking around, and I noticed stumbled upon the Medtronic community. And I was like, this is something I really, really, I kind of need, you know, I said, I, all throughout these years, I was, you know, afraid to show my pump. You couldn't, I would wear long sleeves. Like, I didn't want people to see my CGM, because I didn't want people to ask me questions. And you know, I just felt so uncomfortable. And then I noticed seeing these people really, in the Medtronic community just they embraced it, you could see them, they weren't afraid to show it. And that was something I was really looking forward to.

Scott Benner 1:16:47
How is it knowing that you're diabetes technology is such an important part of your health and your care? And having to hide it? What did it feel like to have to hide that diabetes technology? And how did it feel to be able to kind of let it go,

Speaker 1 1:17:00
I will refuse to go anywhere, like, Hey, I would run to the bathroom, I just didn't want to do it in public, because I felt like people were watching me. And that was just one of the hardest things I was trying to overcome. You know, I was fresh out of college, going into the young, professional world. So you know, going out on work events and things like that. I just, I just didn't think I just didn't think to have it out. Because I was so afraid. But then, once I did start, you know, embracing again and showing it that's when the curiosity came and it was actually genuine questions and people wanting to know more about the equipment that I'm on, and how does this work? And what does this mean? And things like that, which made it kind of inspired me? Because I was like, Okay, people actually do want to understand what I'm experiencing with type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 1:17:45
What did you experience when, when the internet came into play? And now suddenly as easy as a hashtag, and you can meet all these other people who are living with diabetes as well? Can you tell me how that is? Either different or valuable? I guess, compared to meeting a few people in real life?

Speaker 1 1:18:02
Absolutely. I think if you look back from when I was first diagnosed to now, you, I would have never thought of like, you know, searching anything for someone with, you know, type one diabetes. And now it's like, it's all I see, you know, you can easily search Medtronic champions, and you see people that pop up, and you're like, wow, look at all this content. And I think that's something that that kind of just motivates me, and which is how I've kind of came out of my shell and started embracing more and posting more on my social media with about, you know, how I live with type one diabetes. And I think that's something that I hope can inspire everyone else. What

Scott Benner 1:18:36
was it like having more personal intimate relationships in college with type one?

Speaker 1 1:18:41
I think it was kind of hard to explain, you know, just, for example, like, no one really knows, understands, like what alo is. And I think that was a very hard thing for me to explain, like, I, you know, it can happen in any moment. And I'm sweating. I'm just really like, not all there. And I'm trying to explain, like, Hey, this is what's going on. I need your help. And I think that was something that was hard for me to, you know, I did talk to people about it. So when this happened, they were like, oh, you know what's going on with you? I'm like, I'm actually a type one diabetic. This is what's going on. I need your help. What about

Scott Benner 1:19:19
once you've had an experience like that in front of someone? Was it always bonding? Or did it ever have people kind of step back and be maybe more leery of your relationship? After

Speaker 1 1:19:32
I would tell someone I had type one diabetes after some type of event or a dynamic they were kind of more upset with me that I didn't tell them up front. Because they were like, you know, I care about you as a person I would have loved to knowing this about you. It's not anything you should have to hide from me. And that was a lot of the realization that I was going through with a lot of people.

Scott Benner 1:19:49
Okay, let me ask you this. So now we talked about what it was like to be low, and to have that more kind of emergent situation but what about when your blood sugar has been high or stubborn, and you're not thinking correctly, but it's not as obvious maybe to you or to them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:20:03
So I also I go through my same experiences when I have high blood sugars, you know, I can tell like, from my co workers, for example, I didn't really talk to, you know, when I go out backtrack. When I visit multiple sites for work, I usually don't announce it. And so sometimes, I'm working throughout the day, I might have snacks, forgot to take some insulin, and my blood sugar is running high, and I'm a little bit more irritable, I'm all over the place. And I'm like, let me stop. Hey, guys, I need to like take some insulin, and I'm sorry, I'm not I didn't tell you guys. I'm a diabetic. So you may be wondering why I'm kind of just a little bit snippy, you know, so I like to make sure I do that now going forward, because that's something I noticed. And it was kind of hindering me with my career because I was, you know, getting irritable, because I'm working nonstop. And I'm forgetting to take a step back and focus on my diabetes, right?

Scott Benner 1:20:55
Hey, with the advent of new technologies, like Medtronic, CGM, and other diabetes technology, can you tell me how that's improved your life and those interactions with people? Yeah, I

Speaker 1 1:21:06
can. I feel confident knowing that it's working in the background, as someone and I always at least said it, I have been someone that's really bad with counting my carbs. So sometimes I kind of undershoot it because I'm scared. But it allows me to just know that, hey, it's gonna it's got my back if I forget something, and I think that allows me to have a quick, have a quick lunch. And then I'm able to get back into the work day because it's such a fast paced industry that I work in. So sometimes it is easy to forget. And so I love that I have that system that's keeping track of everything for me.

Scott Benner 1:21:39
Let me ask you one last question. When you have interactions online with other people who have type one diabetes, what social media do you find the most valuable for you personally? Like? What platforms do you see the most people and have the most good interactions on?

Speaker 1 1:21:55
Yeah, I've honestly, I've had tremendous interactions on Instagram. That's where I've kind of seen a lot of other diabetics reach out to me and ask me questions or comment, and we're like, Hey, you're experiencing this too. But I've recently also been seeing tic TOCs. And, you know, finding on that side of it, I didn't, you know, see the videos and different videos. And I'm like, I would love to do stuff like that. But I just never had the courage. So I'm seeing people make, like, just the fun engagement videos now, which I love, you know, really bringing that awareness to diabetes. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:22:24
Isn't it interesting? Maybe you don't know this, but there's some sort of an age cut off somewhere where there is an entire world of people with type one diabetes existing on Facebook, that don't go into Tik Tok or Instagram and vice versa. Yeah. And I do think it's pretty broken down by, you know, when that platform was most popular for those people by age, but your younger people, I'm acting like, I'm 100 years old, but younger people seem to enjoy video more.

Speaker 1 1:22:51
Yes, I think it's just because it's something you see. And so it's like, and I think that one thing, and obviously, it's a big stereotype of our diabetes, if you don't like you have diabetes, and that's something that I always face. And so when I see other people that are just, you know, normal, everyday people, and I'm like, they have type one diabetes, just like me, they're literally living their life having fun. That's just something you want to see it because you don't get to see people living their everyday lives with diabetes. I think that's something I've really enjoyed.

Scott Benner 1:23:21
What are your health goals? When you go to the endocrinologist, and you make a plan for the next few months? What are you hoping to achieve? And where do you struggle? And where do you see your successes,

Speaker 1 1:23:31
I'll be honest, I was not someone who is you know, involved with my diabetes, I wasn't really focused on my health. And that was something that, you know, you go into an endocrinologist and you get these results back. And it's not what you want to hear. It gets, it makes you nervous, it makes you scared. And so I personally for myself, you know, I was like, This is my chance, this is my chance to change. I know, there's people that are living just like me, everyday lives, and they can keep their agencies and their blood sugar's under control. How can I do this? So I go in with, you know, I would like to see it down a certain number of points each time I would love for my doctor to be like, Hey, I see you're entering your carbs, I see your, you know, you're not having lows. You're not running high too often. That's my goal. And I've been seeing that. And that's what motivates me, every time I go to the endocrinologist where I don't dread going. It's like an exciting visit for me.

Scott Benner 1:24:20
So you'd like to set a goal for yourself and then for someone to acknowledge it to give you kind of that energy to keep going for the next goal. Yeah,

Speaker 1 1:24:28
I feel as a type one diabetic for me, and it's just a lot to balance. It's a hard our journey. And so I want someone when I go in, I want to be able to know like, Hey, I see what you're doing. Let's work together to do this. Let's you don't want to be put down like you know, you're doing horrible you're doing it's just, it's not going to motivate you because it's your you're already fighting a tough battle. So just having that motivation and acknowledging the goods and also how we can improve that sweat really has been the game changer for me in the past two years

Scott Benner 1:25:04
in jail and I appreciate you spending this time with me this was terrific Thank you very much absolutely thank you if you enjoy Jalen story check out Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box