+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1062 of the Juicebox Podcast way to find out why this one's called texture

today on the pod Jessica, she's 32 years old diagnosed with type one diabetes a few years ago. I'm excited about two things in this one for you to find out what Jessica thinks caused her type one, and why the episode is called texture. Hint, it has something to do with her. Sorry about that. It has something to do with her job as a dog groomer. And for those of you wondering, Arden's blood sugar is 136 diagnol up looks like she just ate she's weight school still. Let me take a look. No, yeah, she ate bad about an hour ago. Getting a little drift up. We'll look at the algorithm trying to get it back. Just put in a nice Bolus. Oh, when I just watched it push up or basil at the same time. We'll be killing this spike in no time. Speaking of spikes, I have no tie in for that just Forget I said that. Drink ag one.com/juice box get a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order at drink a G one.com/juice box. And don't forget those diabetes pro tips are remastered and waiting for you from Episode 1000 to 1026. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth. Cozy earth.com. Just go there, pick out your towels, your sheets, your Comfies like these sweatshirts I'm wearing today sweatpants I worry the other day, so much oh my god pajamas, you'll see there's a ton of stuff@cozier.com. Anyway, go there, fill up your cart, then use the offer code juice box at checkout and you will save 40% off of your entire order. It's that easy. The show is also sponsored today by touched by type one that's touched by type one.org. Find them on Facebook, Instagram, or go to their website and see all the great things they're doing for people living with type one diabetes. Today's show is also sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter, contour next.com/juicebox head over there right now and find out all about the most accurate meter we've ever used. The contour next gen. Using my links supports the show those links are in the audio player you're listening in right now. Right in the shownotes. They're also a juicebox podcast.com. All right, believe in your site. Okay, so this is gonna start a little differently. Sure. Give me a second here to get everybody into it. Okay, so guys, this is Jessica and Jessica and I have been talking for 20 minutes, and I was not recording her voice. And so we're starting over again. And I apologize because we are never Jessica going to be able to remake the joy that I had in my voice when I found out that you tried Molly from your ex boyfriend without knowing what it was. And that that upsets me more than anything.

Jessica 3:23
I'm glad I could give you an existential crisis. really

Scott Benner 3:27
upset about that specifically.

Jessica 3:28
Me too.

Scott Benner 3:30
It was the way you honestly, because you were like, you know, I just trusted him.

Jessica 3:35
Well, I had no reason not to up until that point. So. So let's,

Scott Benner 3:40
let's do a little bit of a fast forward, and then I'll find my rhythm. So you are Jessica, you're 32 years old. You were diagnosed right around the time you're 28, almost 29 years old. Yes, yes, type one diabetes. Your cousin has type one. There's no other autoimmune in your family. And you were experiencing some anxiety at the time. And I think that's the core of it. So let's go back to that you had a triggered by what tell people again.

Jessica 4:04
So I took Mali, and the trip itself was fine. But after that, for about a year and a half or two, I had a lot of anxiety, which is not typical for me. And during that time, I started to suspect that I had diabetes, maybe I had a lot of type two diabetes as a family history, so I was worried about it. And then I started to have blurry vision issues to maybe look into blood sugar as issues as the cause of my vision issues. So I went to the doctor was misdiagnosed at first with type two, but eventually was diagnosed as type one point

Scott Benner 4:43
and how did the timelines line up for the doing Molly having anxiety getting diagnosed like where were they how do they run together? Are they concurrent? Are they one happens before the other?

Jessica 4:56
Well, one happens before the other so I I think I remember, February of 2017 is when I took Mali. And then I was diagnosed in 2019. In

Scott Benner 5:08
September, but you think you live that entire time under a level of anxiety that you had not previously had?

Jessica 5:14
Yes. Wow. Absolutely. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:18
It is not a from what the Google tells me substance induced anxiety disorder after one dose of Malia case reports. Interesting. Wow. Okay. All right. All my jokes about you taking Mali and not knowing what it was. You said the ex boyfriend? Yeah, they're all gone now. But you said the ex boyfriend was like, trust me. And you said, yeah, right. On, I trust you.

Jessica 5:41
Yeah, yeah. I been with him at set with for seven years at that point. Right. And he was good at other like things, you know, having a job paying his bills, being generally responsible for the most part, you know,

Scott Benner 5:54
so why not this?

Jessica 5:56
Right. Why not that I said, oh, like, Oh, I've tested already. Like, it's fine. You

Scott Benner 6:01
know, what's really disappointing is that I made such an earnest joke after you said that earlier. Because I really have known my wife, my wife is like, you know, in her late 40s. I've known her since she was 20. And I honestly, like, I can't get her to do anything. Like so. I mean, I'm a reasonable guy. I do other life things. You don't I mean,

Jessica 6:23
I'm not sure. I know. Sounds maybe slightly more reasonable than I was at the time. I'll see.

Scott Benner 6:29
Oh, I see. You're thinking she's smart to say no, every time I say something silly, and you're probably making a mistake. Alright, fair. Yeah, I

Jessica 6:38
effed up for sure. Yeah.

Scott Benner 6:39
Okay. So anyway, we just did a pretty good job of encapsulating our 20 minute conversation in the last three minutes. So let's move forward from there with me just feeling stupid for a couple more seconds. Sure. I'm like literally looking up under sound waves in front of me like like, vit like visual representations of sound. And I'm looking and thinking, I'm not talking more than Jessica is like, Why do I have so many more sound waves than she does? That I looked closer, and I was like, Oh, it is because I am not recording her voice. Anyway, apologies. Very, very many apologies. We learned that you are an MDI and Dexcom. So let's kind of pick pick up right there. You took care of yourself right away. You said you had a couple of moments where you were like, I cry and then you went right to it. I wanted to ask you at that point. Is that your personality? Like are Yes. Are you just like, I'm going to just take care of this kind of person? Yeah. So you didn't see a difference in in one to the other? Like something bigger life like health wise, or, like my apartment needs to be painted? Not

Jessica 7:47
Not really, I guess. Yeah, I just treated it like something that, you know, like, Okay, well, what do I need to do? I'm going to do it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 7:56
Yeah, that's pretty, pretty admirable. Honestly, I guess you don't have any other options. But also really no, yeah. But also your now like, your breakup happens right around there as well. So you're, you're on your own?

Jessica 8:09
Well, my dad was kind enough to let me move in with him for a while. So that was really nice.

Scott Benner 8:13
After the diagnosis, or after the breakup, after the breakup. Oh, wait. So you live together in an apartment with a boy? Yeah,

Jessica 8:21
for a long time for five, five years. We live together? Yeah. But

Scott Benner 8:25
when it ended, it was his apartment? No.

Jessica 8:29
We were kind of trying to figure out what to do with it. He had a friend who was trying to get him to move in with him. So he moved in with this friend. And he said, I could have kept the apartment and maybe gotten a roommate or something. But I didn't want to do that. And I wasn't sure if I could afford it on my own. So then I ended up moving in with my dad for a little bit. I think my dad felt bad for me. Probably rightly so. Because it kind of sucked at that time. I mean, you know, when you break up with someone you've been with for a long time. Yeah. No, I diabetes. Like, was not. I wasn't struggling a lot with that specifically, just like, you know, you

Scott Benner 9:07
see, you think you're the focus of your dad's like, you know, compassion was more about the breakup and less about the diabetes.

Jessica 9:16
Oh, I don't know. Actually, I haven't reflected on that. I think more about the breakup.

Scott Benner 9:21
Yeah. It's very nice to

Jessica 9:24
look at. Yeah. It's a nice guy sometimes. He's got a really dry sense of humor, which I inherited. So yeah, he can be you know, but ya know, I think you know,

Scott Benner 9:39
the dry sense of humor is not always fun. That's always what a dry sense of humor is not always fun when you're on the other side of it. Oh,

Jessica 9:47
no, it's fun. It's fun. I find more people that don't know me very well. Just think I'm Can I you need to bleep Okay. People prop initially I think think I'm kind of He, if they don't know me super well, just with the dryer sense of humor, so oftentimes it's more of a problem for other people than it is for me.

Scott Benner 10:08
Because you're like, I'm not really being bitchy. I'm just yeah, like, it's just a joke. Sarcasm. Yeah, yeah, I see that I saw somebody make a joke online the other day. And it was so clearly a joke. And to watch people be mad was fascinating. You know,

Jessica 10:25
I think I remember seeing that poster. Maybe I don't remember what it was about. Oh, you

Scott Benner 10:29
have a thought the thing I'm thinking of is ridiculously not about diabetes. But tell me what you saw that you wonder about? Oh,

Jessica 10:36
I don't remember specifically what it was, but it was it was on a diabetes page. It might have been on the juicebox. One. Okay. Maybe it was a different Facebook page. I'm not sure.

Scott Benner 10:46
I see. My thing was much crazier. Like, the whole thing with the Dalai Lama and his tongue and the little Have you seen all this? Know what, I don't know if I have this completely. Right. So I think that, okay, I think that in their culture, you stick out your tongue when you meet somebody. Because of some like, old idea that there was this, I don't know, ancient leader who had a black tongue in if your tongue was black, then you had been taken over by his essence or something. So I'm probably getting this very wrong. So you show your tongue to prove that you haven't been taken over or something like that. But he's very close with a boy, like a young boy. And the tongues out. And it's all just kind of really creepy. Yeah, and I don't know, like, I don't know more about it than that. What I know is that is that I saw something online where somebody posted the picture and said, I don't see the problem. And it was clearly sarcasm. Like there's, it's not not a picture you would look at and go oh, you know, and, and it was just interesting to watch that nobody would assume that somebody could be dry and making a joke about something that was you know, it mean, serious. So yeah, I get your point. Like, sometimes when you have that sense of humor, it misses people pretty significantly.

Jessica 12:03
Yeah. Especially if you don't I feel like if you know someone and you know what to expect it from them, then you can just assume, and you know, everybody's good with it. But yeah,

Scott Benner 12:13
it's a little easier. So the one aspect of our of our conversation that there's really no way to bring back is that you play Dungeons and Dragons, and I just sucks because we had

Jessica 12:28
I was thinking about that. I'm like, Oh, d&d stuffs gone.

Scott Benner 12:31
Oh, dungeon masters in a polyamorous relationship. And I was just like, Ah, I might call this episode Dungeon Master. I was so excited. Oh, yeah. We learned about your character, and then I screwed up. Alright, well, we have to find our footing now. This is my fault. We do. Yeah, we have to we have to move forward. What made you want to come on the podcast. As you heard earlier, this episode of the podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. But when you get a contour meter, what you're really getting is their test strips. Contour. Next test strips feature remarkable accuracy. As part of the contour next blood glucose monitoring system. They're the number one branded over the counter test strips. And they of course have Second Chance sampling. Second Chance sampling can help you to avoid wasted strips, contour next one.com forward slash juice box. Near the top of the page, you'll see a Buy Now button, it's bright yellow. When you click on that, you'll get eight options of places online to buy contour meters and test strips walmart.com, Amazon Walgreens CVS pharmacy, Meijer, Kroger target Rite Aid. These are all links you'll find at my link linking the link links blink blink blink link. I'm just getting head over there. Now once you please listen to contour meters are incredibly accurate. They are simple to use. They're easy to hold, easy to read, and they have a bright light for nighttime testing. Part of me wants to say that the second chance sampling is the biggest deal, but honestly, it's the accuracy. These meters are accurate. And I know a lot of people like to think well I have a CGM. I don't need a meter. You do. You need a meter. You need to be accurate. You deserve it to be accurate contour annex.com forward slash juicebox. Take a look at the contour next gen and the other meters available from contour. We use my links you're supporting the production of the show and helping to keep it free and plentiful. You guys got me on a good day. I just spent my very own money on some cozy Earth items. I'm wearing them today because they are well cozy. Today I got on brand new joggers and a new sweatshirt. Why did I have to buy new ones? Well, I've lost a little bit of weight. And I didn't like looking sloppy in my other ones. So I treated myself to some new joggers and a hoodie and they fit like a glove and they're super Coffee and a warm all day. And you could tell now, did I pay full price for them? No, I did not. Do I get some special deal that you don't get? No, not at all. I took my money I plunked it down at cozy earth.com And then I use my very own offer code juice box at checkout. And I save 40% off of the things I'm wearing. And a couple of other things that are in the other room. This will work for you too. Cozy earth.com Get sheets towels, hoodies, sweatshirts, pajamas, anything you can think of. And it will be soft, soft, and beautiful and temperate, temperate, not hot, not cold, perfect. In the sheets in the hoodie, that this morning, I dried myself off with the waffle towel. What an experience. I'm not even kidding, you get the shower, you know, you're all wet. I don't know about you guys, I do a little squeegee on myself. It's like little guys push off a little bit of the water. I don't know if you guys do that or not. Then boom, hit myself with the waffle side of the towel. First, all the absorption happens. And then I flip it around to the other side. And just ooh, a little buffing and shimmy. You don't I mean a little Shammi shake. And I am crisp and clean and ready to go. Cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout, save 40% off of everything on that website, use my links, use my offer codes, support the podcast, dry off your bits and your pieces and then lay them down in a smooth, silky bed of viscose bamboo. You will not be sorry.

Jessica 16:35
I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe free therapy. Mostly joking. But yeah, I don't know. I just thought I had a unique experience with my diagnosis. Not that it's necessarily necessary or super valuable to like blame the onset of type one on something but I just thought it was a interesting. You

Scott Benner 16:56
really you really believe in the timeline of this. You? Yeah, you do the Molly, you have a like an anxiety you've never experienced before in your entire life for a couple of years. And then you get diabetes.

Jessica 17:06
Yep. And I had. Yeah, and I definitely had, I think it was like a slower onset starting around that time. Because I was six months before diagnosis. I had a yeast infection every other month and I tried a different birth control. And I felt like I could feel like tingling my legs. It was similar to what I thought was neuropathy. Maybe that symptom went away when I changed birth controls. But there were like a lot of things around that time right before I was diagnosed. Looking back, I was like, oh, yeah, that was a sign and I didn't know what to look for birth control

Scott Benner 17:38
pill.

Jessica 17:38
I tried the NuvaRing or the NuvaRing.

Scott Benner 17:44
The reason I asked is because

Jessica 17:46
I'm on pills, and I've been on pills except for a time when I was trying to figure out something if I wanted to try something else. Yeah,

Scott Benner 17:54
I'm trying to see if if NuvaRing has any blood blood sugar impacts.

Jessica 17:59
It does. It says it may increase blood sugar in diabetes. Oh,

Scott Benner 18:04
okay. But here's his health care providers often suggest hoovering for diabetic women because it does not pass through the digestive system. Instead it is absorbed directly through the vagina. There's words you don't hear often spoken out loud. This Yes. Not often.

Jessica 18:20
In many things you want to absorb through through there. No, honestly, no. I

Scott Benner 18:25
mean, obviously really take that sentence in your mind and say, Where would I use this? It is absorbed directly through the vagina, there's nowhere

Speaker 3 18:34
I go, I try to work it into a conversation. I dare you. This is beneficial for women with diabetes, because the body does not have to metabolize the medication. I don't see why that makes a god damn bit of difference. But okay,

Jessica 18:44
mean either, because it's still going directly into your bloodstream. So, and it's not like the pill has sugar like, you know,

Scott Benner 18:52
that's a strange carbs in it. That's really strange. I mean, if if it says there's a reason maybe there isn't just I can't imagine it. That's all. Well,

Jessica 19:02
the, my ex at the time, like read the packet and somewhere on the packet, it says me increase blood sugar in diabetics or don't use the pre diabetic or something like that. Okay. All right, since this made an impact, probably for sure. Okay. Do

Scott Benner 19:17
you find that an oral contraceptive helps you with your blood sugar management?

Jessica 19:21
I'm not sure because I've only had that was the only time I've ever switched. I just switched back to oral meds. I don't have anything to compare it to. So I see. I don't know. Yeah.

Scott Benner 19:30
Where are you? What are you find your blood sugar's different to manage different times of the month?

Jessica 19:36
Absolutely. Yes. It is harder to manage the second week specifically like around the time when I normally might be ovulating and then it tends to I tend to go low, the week of and or the week prior, the event itself and the week before Yeah. Which is strange. I don't really have much. Sometimes I don't have any bleeding at all. I went to an OB GYN and he the vibe was do you want to be pregnant? Oh, no. Okay, you're fine. So he didn't seem to care much about that. But I do have more blood sugar fluctuations. If the period if I actually get a period or if I'm, hey, you have more PMS symptoms or something like it's a heavier, that's interesting cycle. I do have more issues. Hmm.

Scott Benner 20:23
I wonder if you have less of a hormonal impact than then what you're what you'd be expecting? Because if it's not like, yeah, because what are we calling like an impact on your blood? Sugar's is that like a percentage of insulin more that you need when it's difficult to manage? Yeah. You think it's 10% 20? What do you think? Oh, I

Jessica 20:44
don't know. Honestly, my strategy has been take 14 units of long acting the first week or three and things if I start going low more than I'll take one less unit. And then if that's if I'm still going low, maybe take two less units.

Scott Benner 21:01
What Basal are you using?

Jessica 21:02
vs. Not vs. Sorry, that's my Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 21:07
true, Siva?

Jessica 21:08
Why can't Joseba Yes,

Scott Benner 21:10
look at that. I was like, huh, which 1am? I guessing. Okay, and so true interest SIBO overlaps itself. So you adjust it, you adjust it down just by a unit if you're noticing a low blood sugar. Okay, interesting. So, there has been no anxiety since this two year period? Or did it? Did it persist?

Jessica 21:34
Oh, no, it just kind of went away. And now I just have, like, you know, you have like things in your life that make you temporarily anxious, you know, like normal reactions to things. But I haven't experienced severe what I would consider for myself severe anxiety like that

Scott Benner 21:51
sense. That's really interesting. Any other like mental health issues?

Jessica 21:57
No, I don't think so. I'm usually pretty easygoing, probably tolerate things longer than I should.

Scott Benner 22:06
That's such an interesting, more modern response to that question. Like, do you have any mental health issues? And you went? No, I don't think so. Like, well,

Jessica 22:16
I mean, that you there's a we have a lot more. Like in media, there's a lot more people talking about their issues. So it's like, okay, am I fine? Or? Because, you know, the the impression is, like, turns out, I wasn't fine. I had like bipolar disorder, or whatever the thing is, where people are like, Oh, my God, I didn't know I was living with this until I put it together.

Scott Benner 22:38
Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of fascinating, isn't it? The? Yeah, because there is I'm trying to think of what I heard recently. Oh, eating disorders. There was there was a therapist talking about in this article, that when, when we first you know, as kind of a culture of mental health people started understanding eating disorders more, they thought, like, well, let's make this public so people understand and can get helped. And then the incidence of eating disorders went up significantly. Now, is that because people now know what to call it? So it's being diagnosed? Or is that because you're putting it in people's heads? And they're like, oh, I have that. But they don't really? i That's such an interesting kind of social question. I find, like, I tend

Jessica 23:29
to lean towards that people are suffering with these issues, and they just didn't have a label for it. Yeah. Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:38
I'm so interested in that idea. Like, is it like a mass psychosis? Or is it just like, Oh, wow. I mean, because Could there have been that many things going wrong for people? And we just were unaware of it? You don't? I

Jessica 23:51
mean, I think so. Yeah, I think so. Something like when my grandmother was growing up, she she grew up in Oklahoma on a farm. And like her childhood sounded kind of not great. And I'm sure she has what we would call probably anxiety now, but you know, when you're growing up around that time, and it just is what it is, and nobody talks about it. And you just

Scott Benner 24:17
do you think she had a bad life because of it?

Jessica 24:19
But because of her upbringing? Yeah. She was the 12th child. And Bife, like, much younger than her other siblings, and they lived on a farm. And so she, you know, grew up working since she was really young, like on the farm. And she wanted to get the heck out of Oklahoma. So she was pen pals with my grandfather. Okay. And then she moved to Wisconsin with him, or he lived in Wisconsin, but she lived. That's where I live if you couldn't tell from my accent. No. Yeah.

Scott Benner 24:51
I got it. Yeah, yeah. But so your your grandmother was like, I need to get out of here so badly. I met a man through writing on paper and I'm gonna go to Wisconsin to marry him. Exactly. Wow, the world used to be a different place. And it

Jessica 25:06
did not work out for her either. I feel like my grandpa had a really tough upbringing. And he was born again, Christian, I guess at the time, right. And my grandma thought like, Oh, perfect, just what I need. You know, appearances can be deceiving, I

Scott Benner 25:22
guess. Yeah. Yeah. So your grandmother thought, I'll take some Jesus because I gotta get away from this giant family where I'm probably being ignored. And I'm anxious because I'm not even like, I mean, you know, people used to have kids just to work their land. Yeah, I wonder what that's like when you realize you're only here. Like as a as a farm animal. They don't I mean,

Jessica 25:44
I mean, kind of, and she didn't her mother wasn't super affectionate with her, either. So even though she was the baby, she just didn't get a lot of like, it sounds like affection from her mom. Yeah.

Scott Benner 25:58
That lady was probably exhausted. Oh, yeah, for sure. She probably had to carry her uterus over shoulder with a strap, like 12 kids. Oh, god. Oh my gosh, you just say?

Jessica 26:10
Oh, yeah, because I think like prolapsed uterus, and I'm a dog groomer. And there's, you know, some grooming groups where people post stuff and I went to school for a little bit. So like, I've seen pictures of what that looks like, and it's not great. No.

Scott Benner 26:26
sides coming out through your outsides. Yeah, yeah, not good. No, no, no, not good at all. The opposite of absorbing the absolute opposite of being absorbed by through your vagina. It's it's your it's being rejected through your vagina. Yeah, that's I'm just saying like, I don't know how you have 12 kids and then like, bounce the 12 foot on your knee and are like, Hey, sweetie, I'd be like, Oh, my God, I can't believe what have I done? You don't I mean?

Jessica 26:52
Yeah, I'm sure the as at least a few years younger than her. youngest sibling. Oh,

Scott Benner 27:00
my gosh, that's just crazy. Oh, all right. Okay. So you but you ended up in Wisconsin? Did she end up divorced?

Jessica 27:07
No, they stayed together. She She almost left him like three months into the relationship. She went back to not three months in I'm sorry. She had. I think she had had two kids by them. And she moved back to Oklahoma for like four months.

Scott Benner 27:25
Hey, Jessica, I don't know why you're breaking up. So

Jessica 27:28
a couple years into their marriage, that she did end up going back? I don't know why. Okay.

Scott Benner 27:35
I don't know why she went back. I say no, I don't. Well, you know, stability

Jessica 27:43
out here. And the first winter. Her husband and somebody else like they just left her alone in the middle of winter. She had to cut her own firewood. We Yeah, like she like it sounded really messed up. Like our first winter here was horrible. And Wisconsin winter isn't fun. It's really cold. There's a lot of snow. Like he just went to work or something I think, I don't know. About what year do you think this was? Woof. Probably in the early 60s.

Scott Benner 28:16
So he Penn powered his way to a lady to make babies for him and then just took off and went and did his own thing. Yeah.

Jessica 28:25
Like I said, she she thought like born again, Christian meant he was probably a good person and had his stuff together. And then he didn't.

Scott Benner 28:34
Yeah, I mean, I don't know a ton about it. I don't know a ton about it. But I I've always had the feeling that born again was was something that people were attracted to when they had had some fairly significant problems in their life. And they were looking for a reset.

Jessica 28:47
I don't know, maybe I've never really talked to my grandfather about it. Interesting. I never had a chance when I I don't know if he would have really had an answer for it. I don't know if he was super introspective. My grandmother is she's very intelligent, very introspective. But I don't think he really is. Or was, ya

Scott Benner 29:08
know, I mean, I don't know how much room would you have for that in your life? And you know, if that's how you're living like to really think about your motivations. Yeah, yeah, that's a fairly new thing for the masses to be doing over the last maybe 3040 years.

Jessica 29:23
So our benefit or No, I

Scott Benner 29:26
don't you know, I can't tell sometimes like maybe, maybe ignorance is bliss, right? It

Jessica 29:31
sometimes it feels like maybe there's a joke, you know, like Millennials know what, we know what's wrong with us, but we still can't really do anything about it.

Scott Benner 29:40
You know, well, that was kind of my point earlier like, I wonder I wonder what why does it matter? Like if you're okay, why does it matter? Oh,

Jessica 29:49
I think it's more people that feel like they're not okay. Maybe that it's more valuable for

Scott Benner 29:55
Oh yeah, well feeling okay. And being okay, I think are two different things like the I mean, there's nothing anybody who would like say like, oh, yeah, everything's perfect. Like, like, I guess maybe my expectations are just super low.

Jessica 30:08
My expectations tend to be low as a strategy. Yeah, like, not really low, but I don't expect everything to work out perfectly. And then when it works out fine, I'm really happy.

Scott Benner 30:20
Yeah, like, I opened my eyes the morning, I'm like, I've already won, like I'm alive. And then you know, like, the day goes, how it goes, I don't judge it. Like, I don't care. I can never carry one day to the next. Like, I don't I agree, never been like that. Like I just like yesterday, I had, like, a long day yesterday of thinking about the podcast and trying to like it was doing a lot of background stuff that you guys don't see, like invoicing and like having conversations with people about ads and like being upbeat. And meanwhile, I'm just in the back of my head, I'm just always thinking about how to grow the podcast, right. And I took this whiteboard in front of me, and I wrote big ideas on it. At the end of the night, I had a whiteboard, I didn't whiteboard, it said big ideas on it. I was like, ah, and you know, at the end of the day, I was disappointed. I was like, I really did not, I didn't come through today the way I thought I was going to. And then I woke up this morning and never thought of it again. And nice. Yeah, I am of the mindset, like my wife will make a list of things. When I first met her, she'd be like, this is the to do list, right? It's one to 10. And all the sudden Number four would become very important. And her thought process was, well, we have to get one, two and three done. So we can get to number four, it's very important. And I would just reorder the list and put forth the top. Right? And yeah, it was interesting how that didn't work for her. She's like, No, all these things are important. And that facilitated a conversation where I ended up finally saying, I don't think anything on this list is important. Unless it is unless it becomes emergent. Like it's it's just not important. Like I had a weed growing in the back corner of my yard for a while. Right. And it was behind the shed, and I couldn't see it. And it grew for so long that it got Woody, like it turned into like a tree, almost, you know, yeah. And I see it once in a while. I'm like, I should cut that down. And then I just didn't have time. I didn't have time, I didn't have time. And it had and before I knew it, it had been there for five years, this little four foot tall little tree thing that never got any bigger and nobody ever saw. And it didn't matter. Like it doesn't belong there. And it should go away. But grand scheme, it has no impact on anything. And, you know, I wonder how often we get focused on things and treat them like they're super important, but they don't really have an impact on anything. Other than it's on your list. I don't know. There's a deeper conversation there. I don't think I'm prepared for

Jessica 32:52
Yeah, I, I don't know if I have that experience. Always. Like if it's a random thing like that, that I've just forgotten to do forever. And I come to it. When I end up completing the task, it's satisfying. But I'm not upset that it took me very long. But it's really nice to just get it done though. Like once it's done,

Scott Benner 33:13
right? No, I know, people feel that way. I'm even thrown off by that idea. Like it's satisfying. Like I did eventually cut the weed down. And I have to be honest with you. I did not feel accomplished or satisfied. I

Jessica 33:25
was so sad. Yeah, it's Yeah, I think I'm somewhere in the middle where like, you know, something's in the back of my mind, and I can just take care of it. And it's gone. Yeah, that's nice.

Scott Benner 33:38
I also didn't get to grow up, like, expecting to like my work even. Oh,

Jessica 33:43
yeah. I don't know if I grew up that way. But I ended up sort of living my life that way. And that's nice. You

Scott Benner 33:51
do think you do something for work that you enjoy? Yes. Yeah, it would never occur to me.

Jessica 33:58
It didn't when I was growing up. I just stumbled into it and realized, Hey, I like this, I'm gonna keep doing it. Even if I could get a job that maybe pays better. I don't want to be, you know, upset with you know, I don't want to live most of my, you know, a lot of my day doing something that I don't like doing.

Scott Benner 34:17
Did you have a lot of like, financial support? Like if you didn't work? Would you have been okay for a little while?

Jessica 34:23
I don't know. I went to school for a while. And I lived with my parents. Kind of until I was almost done with school. But if I hadn't have gone to school, I would have just started working. Yeah,

Scott Benner 34:36
I I took my first job because it was available to me. And I had I had to have money.

Jessica 34:42
I didn't have to have money, but it was like, I mean, kind of, but like I said it would have been either or either go to college or start working. And I well, I did both kind of but I was working part time.

Scott Benner 34:54
That's interesting. Okay, we should probably talk about your diabetes. So maybe a little Huh. So let's talk about it then. So it's been three years, your MDI, what are your goals? Are you reaching them? How are you doing it?

Jessica 35:10
I'd like to have an agency of six. I've been at 6.5 pretty consistently, which I'm a little disappointed by, but it's fine. It's okay. I did get a spy point seven, my second to last day when see, but I was trying to be more aggressive, and I ended up feeding insulin all the time. Okay, so that wasn't like, I didn't reach that number. Honestly, the way Yeah, obviously, way I would have liked to so. So what's

Scott Benner 35:41
the difference between 6.5? And six? What are you not doing at 6.5? That you probably are doing it six.

Jessica 35:49
I think it's, I'm not dosing for meals maybe correctly, because I do end up correcting often after I eat. Okay. And maybe Pre-Bolus Singh, I do Pre-Bolus. But it's not always exactly the same time, every time. And for lunch, I often can't Pre-Bolus Or I'll go low. If I'm working. My insulin needs are different for lunch that it would be any other day. I say. I'm usually about eight to one. But for lunch, I'm 12 to one and I typically don't Pre-Bolus Or I'll go low.

Scott Benner 36:21
Okay, so it's a little bit of timing and a little bit of a mount that. And that when that shifts the wrong way you lose about a half a point and a one say probably that makes sense to me, by the way. Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica 36:34
It makes sense to me. I'm just having a hard time fixing it, which is frustrating.

Scott Benner 36:37
So is it a you're having trouble fixing it? Because you don't know what to do? Or you can't bring yourself to do it?

Jessica 36:47
It's more like, I don't know what to do. I guess I would do it if I knew it would work. Okay. I've had it happen a couple times where I've made a change and it went too far in the other direction. And it was like a minor change. So it's like, you know, I'm suspecting meat. I don't know. It's just figuring it just fine tuning it figuring out exactly how long do Pre-Bolus For or like, do I need one more unit of insulin? Or do I need to follow up with like a fat or protein adjustment or what

Scott Benner 37:22
you think lunch is an example it does that only happen when you're at work? Or does it happen lunchtime no matter what, only at work? Right? So so you're more active at work so you don't need as much insulin and because you're MDI you can't change your Basal rates while you're at work in like you would if you had a pump so you're trying to impact it through your carb ratio. But the truth is it's not enough insulin for the food so you get you have a spike at lunch that you don't see it other meals Is that about right?

Jessica 37:52
Oh no I don't spike I tend to spike before breakfast. And sometimes after supper lunch usually I don't spike unless I just messed up my dose

Scott Benner 38:02
No. So okay, so then so then you are managing it well with the different carb ratio at lunch but the activity is that important to you? That it changes your carb ratio by a third.

Jessica 38:14
Oh, by a third. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it also could be that I don't dose correctly for breakfast. And I'm often you know what I totally forgot to mention, I do often correct after breakfast. Nevermind, so I've got probably some act of insulin in my system that I'm forgetting to make like a conscious notice. So maybe that's why I don't need a Pre-Bolus for lunch.

Scott Benner 38:35
At work because if you didn't eat lunch, would you get low do you think? Yeah. Well, that's interesting. So okay, so go back to breakfast then you spike you get feed on the floor. Like your blood sugar goes up before you eat in the morning.

Jessica 38:48
No, it's only when after I eat if you

Scott Benner 38:52
eat. Okay, so you shoot your trusty bed in the morning? No, should you face the bed at night you get up in the morning. You eat and

Jessica 39:01
usually more often than not I'm I tend to be a little bit lower in the morning. Okay, and too high. I have tried my no one wanted me to and I've tried backing off my Joseba by unit. I just had a harder time in general with my blood sugar's and I was running higher at night than I'd like

Scott Benner 39:20
to. So you need the trustee with that level. So So what happens in the morning, what are you eating for breakfast?

Jessica 39:26
I usually eat oatmeal. It's like overnight oats. Kind of like oatmeal and milk, put it in the fridge overnight. Okay, take it out and eat it. I do probably overcorrect at breakfast when I get that spike after I eat. I probably am overcorrecting. I'm just incredibly impatient. And I hate to be at 200 Does

Scott Benner 39:48
that happen every day? Yeah. Can I ask you if you're seeing a spike after the oatmeal consistently, and then your bolusing for that spike? Why don't you take some of the insole On for the correction that you're using for the spike and just move it into the Bolus for the oatmeal.

Jessica 40:06
I've tried that. And sometimes it works. And sometimes it doesn't. What happens when it doesn't? Sometimes I go low,

Scott Benner 40:15
a little low. So through through kind of fear, you're waiting for the spike to happen before you add the extra. Yeah, I've

Jessica 40:23
been working on this for a while. Like I tried lowering my high, not too low. I was really aggressively correcting at the 160. And then I found I was running low a lot of the time. Okay. So sometimes I will go up to 160, maybe 170. And I'll come back down. So sometimes I shouldn't correct at that level. And other times I need it. And I'm just haven't put it together exactly when, yeah, I need to correct at that time. And when I don't. So

Scott Benner 41:00
it seems to me and not that you couldn't figure this out. But

Jessica 41:05
there's no I've been, quote unquote, working on it for a while. So you know, what, let me know what you got?

Scott Benner 41:12
Well, what I was gonna say is that I think it's partially because you're on MDI, that, okay, that you're having that you're having an issue, because you can't be as reactive to it as you would be with a pump. And like, you're like, you're waiting for numbers like, well, I waited till I was 160. But that was too aggressive. So now I have to wait till I'm 180s that I don't get low. And like, you know, with a pump, you wouldn't think twice about hitting 140 and using a fraction of the insulin to see if it worked. But when you're injecting, you're waiting for a moment when you can want like inject full units, right? Yeah, so instead of like waiting for a number and then putting in the full unit, you could be doing a quarter of a unit or a half of a unit for the pump, you could be bolusing a little more aggressively for the food and adding Temp Basal increase overtop of the oatmeal a little bit. And that way, if it was too much, you could just shut the Temp Basal increase off. If it was too little, you could be more aggressive with it. If you started to look like oh, I might get low, you could shut your basil off for 15 or 20 minutes. And like, there's more stuff you could do there with a pump that you can't do with with the MDI. I think that might be why you're not finding an answer, because it's a more of a fine tuning problem in a sledgehammer world.

Jessica 42:27
Yeah, that was kind of my suspicion. Was

Scott Benner 42:30
that what you were thinking? Yeah.

Jessica 42:32
A little bit.

Scott Benner 42:33
You should get a podcast. You should get a podcast. Tell people?

Jessica 42:37
I should, right? I already. Yeah. Right. So yeah, I was toying with getting an omni pod and getting the algorithm. I'm trying to buy a house right now, though. So I'm kind of worried about doing that and getting a pump. And I didn't really know how much of an impact I would see with it. Like if I got a pump. And I was getting about the same results I have now I don't know if it will be worth it necessarily.

Scott Benner 43:03
I see your point that because because the end, I was just looking at the number. Like they're probably saying six and a half. You're doing great.

Jessica 43:10
Oh, she thinks she told me to calm down. My last appointment, which was like last month, she was like you're doing fine. My other clients like, you know, Aaron, eight, nine, it's your fine, calm down. Yeah,

Scott Benner 43:23
well, two things. You can't measure your success against somebody else's lack of success. And that's, you know, yeah, my mom used to be like, you're doing great. And I was like, You're literally holding me up against my cousin who's been like jailed. I don't know how well you're doing. But But the other thing is, maybe if your doctor had like a little more anxiety, they'd be more focused. Maybe you could suggest Molly to them, for example, and maybe get her.

Jessica 43:50
I mean, you know, I'll get to know her for a couple more years. We talked about her dogs, she trusts me. So jump off for it, right?

Scott Benner 43:57
No, I mean, I just think it's a common. I think that's a great example of why people don't get help from doctors sometimes. Because they're like, Well, you're in range. Who cares? Let it be baby legs. What are you worried about? You know, you did? Now, you know, 10 years from now when the ADA lowers their target to six. She'll say, well, the ADA says their target six and, you know, maybe we should be trying something else. It's just kind of meaningless. Why people say things. Sometimes. If you're trying to get your a one C under six, then that's important. If that's what you want, you know, yeah, I think pumps the answer, but but it doesn't agree. You know, I don't know if it needs to be an algorithm right away or not. But you know, what? An algorithm like an on the pod five. I heard you bring up. Yeah,

Jessica 44:46
I would really like an algorithm. I think. It seems like it would be a little bit less work. Once you figured this system out, then. Yeah.

Scott Benner 44:53
No, it's not. Hey, so you, is this an insurance issue for you? Well, I

Jessica 44:59
haven't even looked into When I'm not sure my insurance does cover Dexcom, and it's not super expensive. I've had a couple of changes since I've been diabetic with my insurance. And they all cover it about the same. Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:11
you're getting insurance through. I'm sorry, this will sound. I don't know how it's going. It's just like,

Jessica 45:17
you know, I tend to be conservative about wanting to spend money on large things like like that. So I'm just nervous about, you know, the cost. And Sure. Well,

Scott Benner 45:27
I mean, maybe you look into it and find out it's not a large cost. Maybe your insurance covers it, it's almost the insignificant amount. That would be nice. Be I have to ask you if this will sound wrong, and I apologize, but you get insurance being a dog groomer?

Jessica 45:42
Well, no. I buy marketplace insurance.

Scott Benner 45:46
Oh, okay. So you're kind of paying out of pocket for your insurance? Yes. I was like, how was that? How, like, what amazing place? Do you work where they're like, You're a dog groomer. And we would like to give you full benefits. Yeah,

Jessica 45:56
well, you can work at a corporate store and get insurance through them, but I would not recommend it. How come? Because I did that for a while and it sucks. Just I feel like in general, the animal industry can can be stressful. It like by its nature, and then you throw, like your managers telling you need to do more work for the same amount of money or enact extra policies and have no extra time for it. Things like that. It's not great. Everybody's stressed. And it's, you know, yeah. Not the best environment. No,

Scott Benner 46:30
my wife works in a corporate environment, and she will absolutely die sitting in a chair worrying. Oh,

Jessica 46:35
yeah. Yeah, it's like, and, yeah, I feel sympathy for anybody at any stage. I was at like, the bottom of the totem pole. But it's like, it's not, it's probably worse being my manager, and I was probably worse being her manager, and so on and so on. You know,

Scott Benner 46:52
I am really, like, pardoned by, like, grooming animals, and you're thinking of buying a house. And I thought, well, that's, that's terrific. Like that. Like,

Jessica 47:04
it can work out. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I'm not rolling in dough or anything. No, no, maybe a small house. But but you know, that's still

Scott Benner 47:12
pretty impressive to me. You're just generally like, I wouldn't have expected that. And I'm absolutely like, like, oh, wow, that's fantastic.

Jessica 47:21
I get a lot of people asking me how many days a week I do this. And I'm like, Oh, this is full time. Maybe? Like, five days a week. 10 hours a day. All

Scott Benner 47:31
the all the days. And please, please, please, please, tip? Yes, please. Please do. Are you selling the dog hair for like some nefarious thing? No,

Jessica 47:40
I don't think there's a black market for dog care. Unfortunately. Oh,

Scott Benner 47:44
if there was, can you imagine? Yeah,

Jessica 47:46
I would be down for it. Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 47:48
really kind of, you know, I don't know if I'm sounding like stuck up here or something? I don't I don't I don't I don't mean to like, I'm just like, wow, like, to me. That's the thing people do. I think of it as a cash business a little bit. But obviously, yeah, you know, and I don't know, just like, it's, I don't know, I felt good. Because you're in here's why. Cuz you're a single person. You described, I don't want to work in a corporate setting. So you're not, you're doing something that's not exactly like, you know, commonplace that people don't like when they're 16 Go, like I'm gonna grow up and be a dog groomer. So you're doing something you're enjoying, I imagine. And, and, and you have health benefits enough to manage your diabetes, which I think is the thing people worry about. And

Jessica 48:34
it's a crazy place. I didn't really know dog grooming was a thing until I sort of stumbled into it, basically. So it's just one of those things that you don't think of as, like you said, you don't think of it as like a career. I guess. In that way I imagined

Scott Benner 48:49
it is I just wasn't like, you know what I mean? Like, you're like, you don't hear people say like, when I grew up, I'm gonna be a dog groomer. You hear people say like, when I grew up, I think I'm gonna be an accountant or something. You know?

Jessica 48:59
You're like an electrician or Yeah, or whatever.

Scott Benner 49:02
Hey, do you ever have to express the dogs? anal glands? Yeah.

Jessica 49:05
Okay, it's less gross. The longer I'm doing it, and I'm starting to equate, like, every dog has got a different texture and like consistency and smell weight of their buttholes not their buttholes but like the anal gland, just like okay, liquid. Okay, keep going. Sorry. Okay, so I'm gonna be really gross. But if you're a dog groomer, you get used to it and you forget how gross you are and how much people hate this.

Scott Benner 49:34
Just guy gotta regroup for a second.

Jessica 49:35
I understand. I get it.

Scott Benner 49:38
Can I tell you the word that got me? What texture? Texture? Yeah, I I can't even begin to tell you like my whole self crunched into a tight little ball on like texture. There's texture to the liquid that Wait, hold on.

Jessica 49:54
I mean, I'm not touching it but like you know when it comes, that it can be varying. levels of viscosity like sometimes it's it's like runny and sometimes it isn't.

Unknown Speaker 50:04
Okay, stop. That was

Jessica 50:08
I know. Yeah, I went too far. That's it's gross. Yeah. Oh, you just kind of get used to that kind of stuff though.

Scott Benner 50:16
But I think it's fair to say that if you meet a new boy ever and he's into buttstock you'll just be like, whatever. I'm good. Oh,

Jessica 50:22
no. Okay, now. I'd be sad. Take some talking, talking me into. Yeah.

Scott Benner 50:30
Well, that's interesting. Like, I'm now I'm like, I thought for sure you were just like, Yeah, whatever.

Jessica 50:37
It's different when you have to do it for your job on an animal that isn't a person and doesn't have a lot of thoughts about it.

Scott Benner 50:43
I'm sweating. I just want you to

Jessica 50:48
and people don't have like have anal glands? I don't think so. It's like,

Scott Benner 50:52
if it's possible, I don't know what a needle gland is. Wait, you don't it's possible

Jessica 50:55
that you don't explain I can give you the rundown. How do you do it? Well, I maybe not but so that they have a little sacks on the inside of their like rectum, like, around the anus. And when they go to the bathroom, it like puts pressure on the sacks and they like a little bit of like, in a land fluid gets on the like feces. And that's what dogs are smelling when they're like smelling all the dogs poop. That's like they're smelling that, that has like all sorts of information about the dog. So that's what anal glands are. If

Scott Benner 51:26
they hold that stuff, then why do they need to be expressed? Sometimes

Jessica 51:30
they get clogged. So if your dog all of a sudden his butthole starts like, like if he's got too hard lumps, like four and eight o'clock on a clock, or if his like, it just looks swollen back there, that might be the issue. If they're scooting a lot or licking their butt a lot. It happens with small dogs pretty often, where they they just have issues with or if your dog isn't going to the bathroom regularly, or it's really runny or something and they're not getting expressed on their own then they can have issues. Okay, Jessica,

Scott Benner 52:01
I just below whole thing. Or is that upon? It's a whole thing.

Jessica 52:08
No, it wasn't meant to be it could be so.

Scott Benner 52:11
So I the entire time you were speaking. I'm just I'm waving air into my face. I'm like, I don't know. Nauseous is almost the word. Oh,

Jessica 52:22
I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. I

Scott Benner 52:24
asked you to do it. I wanted it done. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah,

Jessica 52:29
that's it.

Unknown Speaker 52:30
What's that cost?

Jessica 52:31
$10 Oh, no.

Scott Benner 52:33
We're not charging enough money for that. Probably

Jessica 52:37
not. So the the way the vet expresses them and the way I do it is different.

Scott Benner 52:43
Up Play music. No,

Jessica 52:46
I do it externally. And the vet will like do it internally while they're like, kind of assault your animal a little bit to express them that way.

Scott Benner 52:53
Oh, so if I want buy stuff, I gotta find a vet.

Jessica 52:56
Yeah, if you want like serious about stuff, you gotta go to the vet for sure. Because they're

Scott Benner 53:00
used to putting their fingers in there working around a little bit. Yeah,

Jessica 53:03
yep. And I just pushed from I feel from the outside and like, push up and out.

Scott Benner 53:07
Oh, usually work. So you're wearing gloves up your shoulders when you're doing this or me? Let's say yes. My God, not always gloves. Well, I'm

Jessica 53:17
doing it in the bathtub, right? Because I'm gonna wash everything in there, including my hand. You know?

Scott Benner 53:30
You should be medically sealed outfit when you do.

Jessica 53:33
I don't think there's like zoonotic diseases that can be passed on with AnnaLynne fluids. So I think it's good. I think it's

Scott Benner 53:39
okay, but they all smell different.

Jessica 53:42
Um, there's like, you know, three or four different smells. It's all bad.

Scott Benner 53:48
Yeah, I mean, it all sounds really bad you Rach in the beginning.

Jessica 53:52
I've only gagged once. It was really weird. Like I haven't. I think I have a pretty strong stomach. Obviously, because I talked about anal glands for how long like 10 minutes?

Scott Benner 54:02
Not not long enough if you asked me.

Jessica 54:07
But I was work when I was working at PetSmart I was working with a coworker and I asked her for help because I wasn't eight. I wasn't just not getting it. And she came over and for whatever reason the smell made us both gag. And that's not typically the case. Usually I can handle it. Every once in a while though. It's bad.

Scott Benner 54:28
Okay, and dollars. Yeah,

Jessica 54:30
yeah. It only takes you know, a minute. It takes like 10 seconds. I

Scott Benner 54:36
don't care. My minimum is 200 bucks. If you want that done. That's just to get me out of bed for it. I'm not doing it for less than that.

Jessica 54:42
Well, if you need that done on your dogs, then you know you can well you probably I don't know what you probably don't take into a groomer I imagined they're they're like bully breeds or something. Yeah,

Scott Benner 54:52
they're short haired dogs think they don't Yeah, so they don't need much bigger they get a bath once in a while. Like when they stay if they bored somewhere. Unlike do their nails, give them a day, you know? Yeah. But there's no hair cutting. The hair is just all over my house.

Jessica 55:06
Yeah, it's a trade off either you have to deal with the dog matting or there's hair everywhere. My good one or the other. Wow,

Scott Benner 55:14
this is absolutely horrifying. Jessica, thank you for sharing that. You're welcome. You were being underpaid?

Jessica 55:21
Probably. No.

Scott Benner 55:22
Stop it. You were being okay, I had to take a sip. I need to I need to center myself. Yeah, if you need a minute, are you kidding me the minute. Wow, I really my brow got sweaty. And like oh my god, I was really like, upset.

Jessica 55:42
That is the the grossest thing I have to deal with nothing tops. Like, how gross that is. Oh, I lied. That's a lie. But routine day to day. That's the grossest thing.

Scott Benner 55:52
Wait, wait, wait, what's the grossest thing if that's not like

Jessica 55:55
bad teeth, or like a wound that an owner didn't know about until I shave the hair off and find it? Like, that kind of stuff happens occasionally. Yeah, that's, you get Ben. Sometimes they bite you. Yeah, sometimes often, it's for nails or something like that. Some dogs really, really hate their nails done. Or they're not used to grooming and they're really anxious. I've had people I had somebody who had a ciaochao They're like, really independent dogs, and they don't like strangers. And this guy kind of had a hard time grooming his dog, but he thought he would take it to me to see what I could do. Which didn't work out. And that dog would bite at me for sure. You learn to see it coming and you know, you get fast. And then obviously, if it's really bad, you you know don't groom that dog anymore. Scott,

Scott Benner 56:47
my fast twitch muscles are just out of the way. Boom. Cool. Snapping Jaws going all over the place. They bad teeth can smell right.

Jessica 56:56
Oh, really bad. Yeah. Okay. And they can get like abscesses and stuff, too. What's

Scott Benner 57:01
the best way when you cut a nail too far and it bleeds? What's the best way to stop it from bleeding?

Jessica 57:06
We have quick stuff that we put on it. So it's like a powder that will? I'm not exactly sure, but I think it helps the blood clot. Yeah, so you put it on the nail. And usually I don't click them too bad. It's just like, you know, one little. You just put a little quick step on them. And they're fine.

Scott Benner 57:24
I had somebody tell me recently a moist bar of soap. Just drag the nail through it to clog it up. And I was like, Ha

Jessica 57:30
that's never heard of that. Yeah. Cornstarch works. If you have cornstarch at home.

Scott Benner 57:34
I've seen that too. Cornstarch baking soda. That kind of stuff can help too. Okay. Do you think you're gonna date again?

Jessica 57:43
I'm working on it. Yeah. Yeah. As of recently.

Scott Benner 57:47
I mean, what do you put on your profile? I can take harsh smells like that would?

Jessica 57:51
Oh, god. No. That's exactly the opposite goal. Yeah, right. Right. Clean, please. You're

Scott Benner 58:00
learning from your great grandmother. She I guess she was like, she had her bar set too low. And you're like, No, no. Yeah.

Jessica 58:08
Ah, man. So yeah. So yeah, I'm working on I've been on a couple of dates. I have a, I think a little bit of a commitment issue. So it's interesting, I'm trying to like push through that. And kind of just from the last point out there, from the last one, and maybe the first one, I've only dated two people. So the first one I was with for a really long time, nine and a half years. And the second one I was with for about a year and a half. But I got into that one too quickly. And then I waited a while to break up with him. Because he had some mental health issues. And I wanted to make sure he was like, set up in life better than when I got to him so that when I left him, hopefully he wouldn't destroy it all.

Scott Benner 58:50
How do we find a boy for you? Who doesn't have mental health issues? I think that's a good first step.

Jessica 58:54
I don't know. And I don't know what the bar is for like, what is probably behavior that they can work with themselves and what isn't? How many

Scott Benner 59:09
people do you meet that are like, not whatever quote unquote, normal would be like, get up do a thing? Well,

Jessica 59:17
I don't know. Well, the second one, I got into that relationship too quickly, too. I mean, he was, you know, generally like get up, go to work go home, but he definitely had like some alcohol issues that I kind of knew going in and I should have just not messed with it.

Scott Benner 59:35
That's the constant. Jessica that's the West. That's the Wisconsin

Jessica 59:39
is too I don't know if it's the Wisconsin per se it definitely is.

Scott Benner 59:43
It's too cold there.

Jessica 59:45
It's it is cold. It's like 80 degrees today, though. Yeah,

Scott Benner 59:50
I know. But in the winter, I'm saying you're stuck. You're inside the Packers have sucked for years. What are you gonna do?

Jessica 59:55
You can play d&d Instead of going to the bar every day. Yeah,

Scott Benner 59:59
but I don't know. Also, we need we need somebody in your relationship that can handle a corporate environment. I'd like to see, I'd like to see you on some good insurance. You don't

Jessica 1:00:08
I mean, maybe help me super duper. Yeah, I would love that. Like, maybe

Scott Benner 1:00:12
you're thinking a baby or there's that no plans?

Jessica 1:00:16
Not in the plan.

Scott Benner 1:00:17
Can you tell me why?

Jessica 1:00:17
I just have never wanted them. And I've I know, I'm not too old to start trying. But I it feels that way to me. But it's mostly I just never really wanted kids.

Scott Benner 1:00:27
You know, I mean, in early 30s, like, I take you at your word. Like, if you were like, right, if you were, if you were 21. And you're like, I don't want a baby, I'd be like, Well, hang on, let's wait and see what happens. But, like, in your early 30s, I figured this is a like a conscious decision. So

Jessica 1:00:43
well, I felt this way forever, basically.

Scott Benner 1:00:47
So I don't want to screw a kid up. No, I just don't want to do it. Just don't want you don't want the responsibility. Maybe? I

Jessica 1:00:56
don't know, I think I'd be a good mom. If I wanted to be like, I don't think I would do a bad job

Scott Benner 1:01:00
afraid of passing on diabetes.

Jessica 1:01:02
No, because I, I kind of made up my mind about kids. By the time it was like, you know, 25 if

Scott Benner 1:01:09
you wanted to do it, you do a good job at it. Yeah. Like,

Jessica 1:01:13
you know, as well as you can do I know, it's, you know, like, you go in thinking like, I know exactly what to do with this is gonna be awesome. And then you're like, Oh, I screwed up their website. You shouldn't have done that. You know, like, I know, it's not easy.

Scott Benner 1:01:25
Do you have any of those feelings? Like, oh, the world's not a fertile place to bring children into give those thoughts?

Jessica 1:01:32
Yeah, like, there's too many of them. And they don't nobody needs mine.

Scott Benner 1:01:37
Oh, wait a minute. Oh, selfesteem. No, no, it's not

Jessica 1:01:41
my kids would be so smart. They would be amazing. But nobody needs like, we don't need more. I could just adapt. If I wanted. You

Scott Benner 1:01:48
might not get a good work with that. Like, look, my parents adopted. Look what happened to them.

Jessica 1:01:52
I mean, it's a shame. But you know, you just got to take a risk. And having your own kids is a risk to like you don't know. You don't know what how it's Well, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:02:01
Can I I'm gonna ask a different question. This obviously, this whole conversation got like, bummed puzzled by what happened in the beginning, but I'm still having fun. So I don't care.

Jessica 1:02:11
Oh, it's fine. As long as everybody else isn't hating this like cluster, but it is. I think it's good. I think we're doing okay, yeah, we're

Scott Benner 1:02:20
fine. You're, you've only chose two boys so far. And they've both kind of had the same vibe.

Jessica 1:02:29
I know. That's the scary thing.

Scott Benner 1:02:31
Are you bad at the picking part? Probably right.

Jessica 1:02:34
I gotta be bad at the picking thing.

Scott Benner 1:02:36
Why? What are you attracted to? That ends up not working out? I'm not sure.

Jessica 1:02:41
Well, the second time around, he had some qualities that I really liked that were different from the first one. But they kind of ultimately had the same core issues with like, emotional vulnerability. So as much as I would like to think that I'd like to pick someone who is emotionally like capable of sharing with me, it doesn't seem like that's my MO, which is annoying when

Scott Benner 1:03:06
they don't share. How does that hurt your experience?

Jessica 1:03:10
I feel like they don't trust me enough to share their life with me like their mental struggles and stuff. Like if you're not willing to share that with me, then why are you bothering your time with me? Like, and I understand it's hard to do that I probably struggle with that a little bit. Like, that's the point of having a relationship is having someone to share with

Scott Benner 1:03:28
Yeah, no, I understand. I just I'm trying to understand further. If someone's not as open with you as you want them to be it makes but the the part that I got tripped up on was if I'm not, if I'm not honest with you, then you think why, like, what's wrong with me that they don't want to be honest with me? Whereas I would think there's something about them that keeps them from being that way?

Jessica 1:03:53
Well, yeah, it's there is something about them that makes them want to be not to be honest. Yeah. And I can't like fix that. I can't just flip a switch and make them feel like they can be honest.

Scott Benner 1:04:06
And all that it's, let's say ask like a fan smash me. Let's just ask I have big like, made up thing. Let's say I have an underlying problem. You and I get together. Okay? I never share this problem with you. And it never becomes obvious to you through our entire relationship. Did it matter that I didn't share it with you?

Jessica 1:04:24
It depends on if it's having a major impact on you or not. I guess it would bother me a little bit if you're like, oh, yeah, I've been terrified of heights this whole time. Every time we walk on a bridge, I want to cry. And I had no idea like that would make me feel a little upset. Because

Scott Benner 1:04:43
I kept it from you or because I didn't share it with you. Probably

Jessica 1:04:47
more the sharing.

Scott Benner 1:04:51
Do you worry that you're not a person people want to share with Hmm,

Jessica 1:04:54
this is why I need therapy because I'm not introspective enough sometimes. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I feel Like I'm a good listener, and I'm a better listener than I am at getting people to listen to me,

Scott Benner 1:05:05
I guess. Because what I'm hearing is that you want things from people that they don't give you. And that makes you feel bad. It makes you feel bad, because why would they not tell you?

Jessica 1:05:18
Okay, yeah, I see where you're going with. Yeah, right.

Scott Benner 1:05:21
But what if they just can't tell you? Like, what if they couldn't tell anybody? It has nothing to do with you? I

Jessica 1:05:26
mean, there's varying degrees of it, right? I mean, it would still like, I wouldn't say it wouldn't bother me at all. It's it's more of like if it becomes an issue and their mental health and their daily life, and then they're freaking the heck out over there. And I have no idea what's going on.

Scott Benner 1:05:40
You don't like the uncertainty? Yeah. Do you have thoughts that you didn't share with your boyfriend's? Probably?

Jessica 1:05:48
Honestly, I don't. It's hard to remember exactly what I was feeling at any time. May

Scott Benner 1:05:54
I May? I guess you do. I think everybody has thoughts that they don't

Jessica 1:05:58
share. I mean, probably Yeah. Yeah. Well, the first one, we were together for a really long time. Too young. Yeah, too young went into it too fast. Again, that's, that's the thing I'm working on that doing. I don't know, he just never shared very much to begin with. So I didn't share very much, I guess. And he wasn't super like, I don't know that he didn't, there was something up with the first one for sure. Like he had his own stuff going on. I'm gonna

Scott Benner 1:06:24
tell you something that I've been thinking about lately. Sure. I grew up, my father left my mom when I was like, 13. So I was mostly raised, you know, in a family together when I was younger, and by a single woman when I was older. And the message from my mom was Be nice, be kind, be caring, be gentle. This is what women want. And I look back now and I realized that's what my mom wanted. It's not what women want. It's what my mom wanted. And bass, and my mom was plenty happy being with a guy who kind of took control and like, did like Guy things. Right up until she realized that he was cheating on her and then their relationship broke up. But prior to that, she was very happy that way. And so I think I modeled myself towards compassion and being concerned with other people's feelings. When sometimes, you know, your interests are not interesting to me. Like you don't I mean, like, it's, which is fine. But I put myself out there, and I do that. And what I've learned over the years, is that the women I find that's not really what they want. It's interesting, like, like, everybody says, like, be nice, be kind, be gentle. And not that there's not a space and time for all that. I'm not saying I'm not saying certainly like I'm not saying like, I have a club in my hand and I, you know, dragging people by their hair, like a caveman. Like, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that. Like, there's more like, classically masculine traits, that sometimes I think guys can hide thinking that's not what you want. And then they feel like they're hiding themselves. And then you can feel that they're hiding something from you. Hmm, that's all.

Jessica 1:08:13
Yeah, I get the vibe a little bit. Yeah, i i Do you feel like I don't? I don't know if I'm getting a read on somebody until I've hung out with them a lot. And then you start to figure it out a little more. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:27
No, no, it's hard to be yourself. Because yeah, yes, expectations of what you think people expect, except you might not be expecting the same thing that I was told to give. It's very interesting. Yeah, I find it I find it interesting. I think you'll not you, but in general, you're part of a generation of people who want things to go right. And you want to check in you want something to be comfortable for you. Like, you know, like, I very easily could still be working in a sheetmetal shop. I swear to you, like that could very easily be happening. And I hated it. Like, I Well, that's unfair. I didn't hate it. I just didn't like it. But I didn't have any expectation that I was supposed to like it. So it was okay. Like I got ya toil bidding,

Jessica 1:09:12
I think my parents working experience is probably similar to like, you just get a job and you do the job. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:09:17
And then that's then that's that. But yeah, you know, it's, um, as far as that reflects on relationships, about, you know, I want the thing I want. I don't know it's a stranger in a world where people don't actually share how they feel until you get very intimate with them and then sometimes not even and but you want honesty and clarity and which is absolutely. Like, I'm not saying you shouldn't want that. I'm just saying that. I don't know if you can get it from people all the time.

Jessica 1:09:48
Yeah, that's the difficult thing. And you know, I'm still working through like, okay, like, it's kind of hard for me to read people like I can't go on one date with someone then decide like, this is it you know, It takes me a while to, like, get used to people and figure it out and stuff. So

Scott Benner 1:10:05
yeah, I can't imagine anywhere where that would be, like, accurate. After a date or something like that, or a couple of dates to really know somebody, I think you have to get into pressure situations a little bit. See how people react to? Yeah, kind of Yeah, you know, it's just interesting, because when, when my wife and I were first together, like I'm an I'm an action oriented, get things accomplished person. And then as you're together longer there, you know, you'll somebody will say to you, like, you know, you don't always have to fix things. And I'd be like, well, when, you know, for the first five years of our life, you were standing there waiting for me to fix things. And so like, that's my expectation of what you want. And then what you want shifts, and it's very interesting. I don't know, you should probably just go date a bunch of people with no expectations. Yeah, probably. That's all or don't I don't give it. To me. Just it's

Jessica 1:11:01
it's tricky, because I don't know, how many people is appropriate to talk to at the same time, and like yada, yada. Oh, you're

Scott Benner 1:11:09
worried about all that? Yeah, it's awful. Oh, what I worry about trying to put myself in your position? Yeah, I don't think I'd worry about that.

Jessica 1:11:18
Yeah, probably not. I do have an issue with obviously I the last relationship. I stayed with somebody for too long, because I was worried about their feelings. And I did learn a little bit of a lesson from that, but I haven't learned it completely. So you know, I don't want to be like, unfair to someone, I guess. But I guess that's just how it is. Would

Scott Benner 1:11:38
you be comfortable sharing with me? What it's like to have already decided that this is not the person for you, but you're still being intimate with them?

Jessica 1:11:49
I guess in what risk? Factor? It's not fair to them, because I think he could probably tell that I was sort of checking out. Right? I don't know. It's a weird. It's a strange situation it like, in some ways, it feels like, you know, it's probably it's probably better when you've decided enough is enough to just leave, you know, and like, there's some ups and downs. And you're like, Okay, maybe, maybe just just, it's just a down spot, and it'll get better. And then you wait a little bit. And that's not the case. And

Scott Benner 1:12:25
so just like little signs you can look for, like, yeah, and it's just it's just tough to like know, because because even when you spot them, the other person doesn't go Oh, yeah, you're right. I am not taking my bra off in front of you anymore. Because I'm not comfortable being like, topless in front of you. And like Nobody says that. But But somebody will be like, well, you know, why did you never get changed in the bedroom in the bathroom? Like what's going on there? Like nothing? Like it's always that like, nobody ever has the nerve to like, just go the rest of the way with it. And be like, Yeah, you're right. I'm, I'm Yeah, trying to keep you from seeing me because I'm not into this.

Jessica 1:13:00
Well, then he was never forthright about, like, I think when he started to have concerns, he never asked me directly about it at all. Yeah, it's so hard. So I mean, yeah, it's hard. That wasn't good for anybody. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:13:14
You don't want to you don't want to make that mistake again. No, do you think it's possible that it's just not possible to be with somebody for that long and not have those feelings? Like, like I've been, I've been in a very long relationship, I can tell you like, it ebbs and flows. Well,

Jessica 1:13:31
this know that the second one, I was for sure, like, pretty, you know, early ish, you know, like, eight months or so I was like, Yeah, I think we're done. But I didn't want to sabotage his life by leaving, I guess, which is not the correct way to look at it. But I knew it would be really tough. But no, for sure. What the first one? Like there's definitely, you know, nine and a half years into that one. There's definitely ebbs and flows. Yeah, for sure. Like, that's just how it goes. You know, you have times where you're not feeling emotionally, like connected for a while. And then for whatever reason, it kicks back up, things are really good. Like, I expect that to happen. Yeah. For sure.

Scott Benner 1:14:14
How much of your diabetes Did you share with with these guys? The

Jessica 1:14:19
second one, a lot. He was really good. He paid a lot of attention. I think he would have been really good at potentially caring for me if I needed it. He was really thoughtful in that way. He really paid a lot of attention. The first one it kind of freaked him out. He was, I think concerned about what it would mean and he didn't know how to like help me with it. Yeah, and, and then it just stressed him out. Gotcha. But then you didn't you didn't ask any questions or anything at all even.

Scott Benner 1:14:53
Ya know, I've often wondered how crazy that must be to be with somebody for that long not actually be like you guys are together, but you don't own anything together, you're not actually married. And then this big thing comes in, and it's not hard to go, I wasn't expecting that, like, I'm not, and you're already not. It's not like you're like, you know, having a fairytale existence and just like, Oh, it's fine, whatever baby like, you know, it's almost like lose another thing. And you're and you're, then he doesn't respond to it. And you're probably thinking, well, there's another thing. He's not even showing any interest in this diabetes thing. And massively

Jessica 1:15:29
Yeah, I wasn't expecting it to be sure. Super. I never expected him to be super emotionally supportive when I was when we were at that point. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:15:39
It's very interesting. If you stop and take the whole story here, and like, think back to your grandmother, your great grandpa going to Wisconsin, and then leaving and coming back. And, and the idea of like, what's right for people? And what, like, what makes them happy? Like, there's just times where, I don't know if this is an unpopular feeling? But like, I don't think you're supposed to be happy every day.

Jessica 1:16:02
No, you're not I there's days where I'm in a bad mood. And it's for whatever reason, it's like, well, that's it for today, I'm just going to be in a bad mood, tomorrow will probably be better. And you just you just kept like, live with your feelings for a minute. You know, they're temporary always. And then it's going to be fine. Later,

Scott Benner 1:16:22
I heard somebody say recently, don't say you have anxiety, say you're experiencing anxiety. And that that's an important distinction. I'm gonna look more into that. I'm not sure if there's gonna be there or not. But

Jessica 1:16:36
I think it depends on whether maybe whether you have chronic anxiety or not. Yeah. But it might help with the way you think about it. Maybe you're someone that has chronic anxiety, you know, it might be easier to think like, this minute, I'm having issues, but maybe, you know,

Scott Benner 1:16:54
well, later, I won't sort of part of what I was talking about earlier. Like, you know, there's I don't doubt at all there are people who are under like, constant crippling anxiety. I'm not saying that. There are also people who just get the anxious situations and then say things, like, I have anxiety, like, Well, okay, yeah, cuz you know, you're walking along the rim of a volcano, this is gonna be an anxious situation, but you're gonna walk away from it eventually, and not feel this way anymore. It was first put to me by somebody who said, I have PTSD, like a diagnosed PTSD. And I don't like it when people say, Oh, that gives me PTSD. Because it's not really giving them PTSD. It's making them remember something unfavorably from their past. And they can walk away from it. I can't walk away from my PTSD. And I think that about like anxiety, to like, you know, there are obviously people who have it to the degree where they can't get away from it. But then everybody else sort of like jumps on the bandwagon. I'll tell you what I'm hearing a lot lately that absolutely, like boggles my mind to some level, adults who appear to be living 100% Fine, who are all of a sudden comfortable saying, I think I have a little bit of autism. Have you heard people say that? No, I haven't. Like God, I'm fascinated by like, I think, I think I might be autistic. I'm like, well, your blood is that mean, you're 45 you own a home, you got three kids, you go to work every day, you don't have trouble doing any of the things you're, you know, that you know, relating to people or anything. And like, I get the idea of like, I see that people will say, Well, there's a spectrum and I'm, I'm certain that's true. But my point is, is that there's a spectrum and you're all the way on the one side of it, where you have a character or a character trait that that can relate back to a thing doesn't mean you have the thing. That's

Jessica 1:18:41
the issue with like, it's a spectrum. The problem with the spectrum is you can put any spectrum in front of you and you could pick out a couple of things that you sometimes display, right?

Scott Benner 1:18:52
Yeah. Yeah. Like, like if Yeah, yeah, like if you're completely calm person who? I don't know, just goes off the handle. If one specific thing happens, I don't know that you have an anger issue. I think this thing makes you angry. And I don't know, I've just I've just seen people lately, say like, oh, like, I rub my leg when I'm nervous. Like, is that autism? Like? Is it autism? Like, like, why? Okay, like, Hey, Jessica, what I'm saying is, I think I've been dancing around it for like an hour now. I feel like everybody wants to have something.

Jessica 1:19:28
I feel like everybody wants to identify with a group of people,

Scott Benner 1:19:32
right? Oh, that's what I meant. But yes, yeah. Like everybody's trying to like pick a team. They're like, Oh, I'm Team autism. I'm Team anxiety. I'm team like, I have a thing to like I belong. And that's some, you know, as an older person, that's strange to me.

Jessica 1:19:48
I'm like, caught in the middle of it. It's like I sort of get it but I wonder. Like, General, things in life tend to be like, You swing back and forth. It's between things like, one extreme reaction. And then there's another extreme reaction that kind of goes back and forth like that politics is a really good example. Especially in the US. Like, it's like, everybody like Republican in the whatever branch. So I wish there was like a middle ground that we'd settle on, but there isn't, are just going to swing from one extreme to the other. It

Scott Benner 1:20:24
just it makes, it just makes me wonder if like, like, are you really any happier than your father? was? Was he really any happier than his mother was? Like, you know, like, or is this all just, like variations on a theme? And the theme is that everything's not always perfect. When you involve other people in your life, they have things you don't have, you're not always going to, like mesh together perfectly. We have this idea that we're going to, which I don't think is true, and you know, are we all reaching for something? It's not attainable? And Couldn't we just like, let it go and be happier? If we were just like, so not worried about everything fitting correctly? Or being 100%? Right, or whatever? I don't know. I just these are my thoughts today. You're getting them Pretty Unfiltered. Jessica. That's it.

Jessica 1:21:13
That's fair. That's okay. Yeah, I don't know I struggle with trying to place my opinion on things like that. It can it just can depend on the day, honestly, or who I talked to last? about it. Like if someone has more of an issue with a particular issue, like anxiety, I tend to feel a little bit more sympathetic, I guess, of course, but I understand what you're saying. We're like, at what point is it actually an issue and

Scott Benner 1:21:44
you just get up and go to work? And yeah, take care of yourself and love the people around you and do your best. And that's it. Like, why are we judging ourselves constantly.

Jessica 1:21:53
My only drawback is that I don't know what it's like to experience that. So it's hard for me to say, what is right or wrong about it? Because I, you know, I have a pretty laid back attitudes. So I just get up and go and do the thing. I don't struggle with it. Yeah, see that much.

Scott Benner 1:22:11
That's a newer, a newer concern, like social concern. Yeah. Like for other people, like, well, I don't want anybody else to feel XYZ because I'm, blah, blah, blah. And like, I'm gonna tell you that I grew up through a time where that was not the no one give a shit about other people. Like they and not that they didn't care about you. They cared planning and people were lovely. But nobody, I didn't work with anybody who thought, well, I won't be me so that you're not uncomfortable. Like that. That never was a problem. Like people just live their lives and everybody just dealt with it. You know? I don't know. Like, I don't know, it just feels like we're trying to fit something that doesn't fit. I don't know what it is yet. I haven't been able. That's

Jessica 1:22:51
life. No. Like, we don't live lives that our bodies are probably made to live in. And as a result, we get like, anxiety because, you know, yes, things that don't really matter. Because we're we're supposed to be just in constant worry all the time about not getting eaten. Or finding food.

Scott Benner 1:23:12
Yeah, yeah, we've definitely changed the landscape of what it means to be human. And our our bodies and our brains haven't caught up to it yet. That's

Jessica 1:23:20
for sure. No, and they never will.

Scott Benner 1:23:22
I don't know. I won't be I don't think it really engineers.

Jessica 1:23:26
I don't think we'll be around that long. Jessica. Why? I mean, how many how many species live for millions of years? We're

Scott Benner 1:23:35
gonna do it. Jessica. Don't you worry.

Jessica 1:23:37
I don't know. I'm

Scott Benner 1:23:38
gonna be fine. It's gonna be nose. Well, not if you don't make a baby. We got

Jessica 1:23:44
more out there. It'll be fine. We need more like you though, don't

Scott Benner 1:23:48
you think? Well,

Jessica 1:23:49
probably just a really egotistical thing to say.

Scott Benner 1:23:54
Just because like what the world needs is my spawn, but I will not be giving it. Yeah, it's fine, by the way, right? Sounds good to me. Yeah. Does that make it harder to date? Because your gift to find a guy who doesn't want a kid?

Jessica 1:24:06
A little bit? Yeah. Like the one guy went on two dates with is going okay. I did put on my profile specifically, like, I don't want to start a family. Like, you don't have kids and you want them. I in it. Like it's that's not I'm not for you, right. But I ended up going on a couple dates with somebody and he said, like, oh, yeah, I want kids. I'm like, Oh, you didn't read my profile? And I guess we're done. Trust

Scott Benner 1:24:30
me. You wouldn't be surprised how many people sign up to be on this podcast. And don't read the little tiny paragraph that explains to you how to do it and what you'll need when you get here. And I'm like, did you not read that? Like, I didn't see that? No, like, yeah,

Jessica 1:24:40
that's the thing. It's like, I don't know if anybody's reading this. And I'm putting on the profile. I don't know. You know, it's just,

Scott Benner 1:24:49
I bet you they're not.

Jessica 1:24:50
I bet you're probably not.

Scott Benner 1:24:52
There's just something about your bone structure and your hair color and your skin color. And a guy's like, oh, I find that. Uh huh. Yeah. Yep, that's it. That girl. That's yeah, legit. Yeah. And you're over there thinking like maybe I could build a life with him and he's like, I wonder

Jessica 1:25:12
if I could just hit that. Can I just exactly, you know? Yeah, so that's fun.

Scott Benner 1:25:18
Hold on You broke up. But did you say that's fun?

Jessica 1:25:20
tend to be you know, I filter out like, you know if he looks like a boy No, I'm not gonna

Scott Benner 1:25:28
wait if he looks like a if he looks like a what? You know, say that again? If he looks like a what?

Jessica 1:25:35
Like a boy like some of you just, you know, like, like he's taking Oh god, I got one. He said he was a doctor. But he only had like five pictures, but they were all from the chin down. Like, oh section. No Face pics, like nothing. I was like, that's creepy. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:25:54
was it an attractive midsection?

Jessica 1:25:56
Yes, it was. Oh, so

Scott Benner 1:25:57
he's trying to get you with his abs?

Jessica 1:25:59
I guess right. I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:26:01
Did he show you like down past the hips? No,

Jessica 1:26:05
it was like hip to hip to neck.

Scott Benner 1:26:08
Well then, so let me ask you something then then cuz we talked about the boys who probably just were like, oh, like she's pretty. I'll do that. Like, did you look at him and go, maybe I don't care. This face looks like for

Jessica 1:26:19
a hot second. And then I was like, I don't want to waste my time with like that. This could be a catfish or something. I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:26:25
Yeah, Dr. Abs. Dr. ABS

Jessica 1:26:29
Dr. Abs. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:26:32
He was also kind of far away. Which Oh, distance.

Jessica 1:26:35
I'm lazy. I don't I don't really want to move. And I don't really want to drive a lot.

Scott Benner 1:26:42
I got a radius. Yeah, I don't leave this radius. No. That's funny. Oh, my gosh. All right. Jessica. Is there anything we haven't talked about that you think we should have?

Jessica 1:26:51
I don't think so. Maybe the d&d again, but I know we did. Dragon. It's done and over.

Scott Benner 1:26:58
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, being a d&d player, like, you'd probably don't see a lot of ABS, right.

Jessica 1:27:04
Probably no. Well, a lot of the people I played with are women. There's only one man and he's got two ladies. So yeah, you know, yes. A little busy. But yeah, we just play, just play with women. We had a guy that was in our group, but he left and I don't think he's ever coming back.

Scott Benner 1:27:20
Have You Ever Have you ever thought about going and playing for the other team? I know, that's a weird thing to say that people would only say to girls and not the men but no,

Jessica 1:27:28
yeah. No, I did. No. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:27:31
It's fine with me. Yeah, I was just wondering, I catch

Jessica 1:27:34
a lot of from the two people who like are definitely bi or lesbian, but I'm like,

Scott Benner 1:27:40
No, for not giving it a world.

Jessica 1:27:43
I guess. Yeah. Local casino you, you know, gripe a little bit like man or girl sometimes or whatever. And they're like, it really sounds like you don't like men like, Oh, no. There's always something about the thing you like that you don't like?

Scott Benner 1:27:58
There's parts of it. I really likes to just calm down, basically.

Jessica 1:28:01
Well, you know, it's, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:28:04
well, listen, I'm gonna say this. You will probably save a lot of heartache. Not expecting boys not to be boys. Like, you should probably just expect that they're gonna I mean, be themselves to an extent. Yeah, right. I mean, there's a level of it that you could go like, that's too much for me. But I'm sure yeah, I just don't like I honestly don't think that I was really mature until I was like, in my mid 40s. Probably.

Jessica 1:28:32
And here I am thinking like, oh, people in their 30s Like, yeah, so mature. Wow. I mean, everybody's been nice. I haven't had like a bad experience with

Scott Benner 1:28:42
no, I'm a fine person at all. I just like my actual maturity level. Like and I pretty responsible person. I raise kids like I you know, diabetes, like, you know, pay for things like stuff like that, you know, get up go to work, like all that stuff. Like, I'm very faithful like that. All that stuff. But like, yeah, like still my my silly reactions to things still happen.

Jessica 1:29:02
Like, I mean, that's fine. Right? You gotta have a little humor.

Scott Benner 1:29:06
I don't know. I walk into the room and I go, Kelly, Kelly. And she's like, what? I'm like, nothing. I'm just sounding a Kelly alarm. It's just like, your 50 I'm like, Yeah, I know. But Kelly, just like shopping. I can't stop myself. I don't even like her. Yeah,

Jessica 1:29:24
I mean, that kind of stuff. Like, as much as I hate to say it. Your poor wife, but like, you know, you got to keep that kind of stuff up a little bit.

Scott Benner 1:29:32
I came in the room very exuberant the other day, and I said, Oh my God, how have we never tried the nicknamed Kelly bean? And she goes, No. And I'm like, you don't like it like jelly bean? And she goes, Yeah, I get it. And I was like, Okay, I was like, well then let it go. And she goes, Yeah, I will. I was like, Alright, so then a couple days later, I'm like, Hey, I

Speaker 3 1:29:51
just want to revisit this again. And she goes, What am I Kelly been thoughts and she goes hasn't changed and I was like, okay, and that was it. But I don't know where the I held that thought comes from, or why I said it out loud or why I revisited it because I literally just thought it was funny two days later to say it again. And she clearly is not amused by it.

Jessica 1:30:11
I don't care for it. Honestly.

Scott Benner 1:30:13
Can I be honest with you after I've gone over it a couple of times? It's off my list too. I don't like it either. Good.

Jessica 1:30:19
Yay. No, I'm glad I'm happy for her. That you finally decided it's not a good idea.

Scott Benner 1:30:25
I'm just trying to point out that I'm still an idiot. And I'm 51 and I'm reasonable about many things. And probably,

Jessica 1:30:31
I mean, I wouldn't say that being an idiot. A little bit. I think I'm gonna know but you're not like, I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:30:41
Well, what are you guys doing? That is so reprehensible. Oh,

Jessica 1:30:44
I haven't spent a ton of time yet around them. But like, I don't know, like drinking a lot things like I like I said, it's Wisconsin. Like I get it. It's a thing. Yeah, you're, like doing stupid stuff with their friend like really stupid stuff with their friends and you know,

Scott Benner 1:30:59
cutting holes in ice and going fishing. Yeah, maybe I don't get it making their tires too big on their truck.

Jessica 1:31:06
Yeah, that's a no go for me. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:31:09
I see. Maybe you need to move. I

Jessica 1:31:11
probably should move. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:31:13
I don't do things. I don't understand. I don't understand. Like, you buy a car. Like that's the car like you're done. Yeah, like I could care less. Like, I like I like my car. But still like it came with what it came with. That's it. I'm done. No, I don't need a different wheel on it or something like that. Yeah,

Jessica 1:31:30
same. Interesting. Okay. Yeah, a lot of there's a lot of like, you know, just

Scott Benner 1:31:34
my, here's my, here's my, my out of left field hot take. You're gonna have two kids by the time you're 38.

Jessica 1:31:44
Oh, I doubt it.

Scott Benner 1:31:44
I know why you say that. Why? Because I think because you seem like a very. I don't know, I think there's a world where you could meet a person where you would have like a pretty big shift in your expectation for your life. You're possibly not flighty and you're not weird. Like you're not a party girl. Like you're not like, you're not shallow, like like not to say that you can't not have kids and be those things. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that. Like if I had to bet and by the way, I could be completely wrong. This is literally an up or down. But like, I think it's possible you bump into somebody who you really jive with and it makes you rethink things.

Jessica 1:32:21
I could see that happening. I'm like, if I had met somebody that I liked a lot better when I was younger. Oh, you

Scott Benner 1:32:27
think this is an age? Sure.

Jessica 1:32:30
No, not an age thing. What will the children think kind of at this point? Yeah, a little bit.

Scott Benner 1:32:36
Now. Your stuff still works will be alright. It still works, but

Jessica 1:32:39
I don't know. Then I then I have to. I don't know child rearing doesn't sound super duper fun. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:32:46
no, it's terrible. Oh, did you think it was fun?

Jessica 1:32:48
Oh my god. No. And I don't want to do it when I'm like, 40 that? Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:32:54
That I take your point. I'm like, I miss my kids being here. But like, my god, like, I don't think I could like, I don't think I could hop through it again. Like it's no, it's a long, so. All right. Well, we'll see you. I'll try to keep the podcast going for like, I don't know, six or seven more years so we can find out. Yeah, sounds good. I'll let you know. I appreciate this. Hold on one second for me. Okay. Sure. First, I'd like to thank Jessica for the hard work she puts in for those dogs and for coming on the podcast and sharing her story. We also want to thank cozy Earth and remind you to use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of everything in your cart. And last but not least the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com/juice box head over there. Now check out those Second Chance test strips get yourself a beat or you can buy them online. There's a Buy Now button. You can just check it out. Just use the website. Trust me. Oh, did I forget touched by type one? No, I did not touched by type one.org Find them on Facebook, find them on Instagram. Check out the good work they're doing on their website touched by type one.org. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Once there was a time when I just told people if you want a low and stable a one C just listen to the Juicebox Podcast. But as the years went on, and the podcast episodes grew, it became more and more difficult for people to listen to everyone. So I made the diabetes Pro Tip series. This series is with me and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist. She is also a registered and licensed dietitian and a type one herself for over 30 years and I of course am the father of a child who was diagnosed at age two in 2006. The Pro Tip series begins at episode 210 with an episode called newly diagnosed are starting over and from there all about MDI Pre-Bolus Sing insulin pumping, pumping and nudging variables exercise illness injury surgeries glucagon long term health bumping and nudging how to explain type one to your family. Postpartum honeymoon transitioning all about insulin Temp Basal. These are all different episodes setting your Basal insulin, fat and protein pregnancy, the glycemic index and load and so much more like female hormones and weight loss. Head now to juicebox podcast.com. Go up in the menu at the top and click on diabetes pro tip. Or if you're in the private Facebook group, there's a list of these episodes right in the feature tab. Find out how I helped keep my daughter's a one C between five two and six two for the last 10 years without diet restrictions. juicebox podcast.com Start listening today. It's absolutely free. Hey, I forgot this at the beginning I apologize. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin.